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Old June 3rd, 2013 (08:24 PM).
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Pokémon Trainer HoT Pokémon Trainer HoT is offline
 
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Okay, so this is a fanfiction suggested to me by my good bro DarkTraitor (mostly his idea, I just wrote it, and he's from another site). It took a lot for me to get it to sound how I wanted it to (I'm not the best writer you see). Anyway, without further ado, enjoy.

Chapter 1: Winds of a New Beginning

"Come on Crystal! Hurry up or we'll be late!" Gold said while he ran towards the famous Elm Pokémon Lab. Today was the day he had been waiting for. He was finally getting his first Pokémon and setting off on an adventure.

"I'm coming, I'm coming! Hold your horses!" Crystal said in an annoyed tone.

When they arrived at the lab, Gold seemed like he was hopping with excitement like a little kid. "This is it Crystal! Today's the day!"

"Calm down. I'm excited too, but we don't need to make ourselves look immature. Getting a Pokémon is supposed to prove that we're old and responsible enough to look out for ourselves and make good decisions." Standing quietly at the door, Crystal waited for it to open. She glanced at Gold, who seemed to have disregarded what she said. The young girl turned to scold him some more, but in the blink of an eye, the lab door opened and there stood a man with brown hair and glasses. It was none other than Professor Elm himself.

"Ah, Crystal, Gold. Here to get your Pokémon, I assume? Come on in." He gestured them to follow him before re-entering the building himself.

Gold looked at Crystal. "Come on!" he said as he rushed in. He immediately went over to the machine that Professor Elm was standing in front of. He was followed by Crystal.

Professor Elm cleared his throat. "Now then, today is an important day. You start your journey to become great Pokémon Trainers. Perhaps someday one of you will become the Champion. But for now," the Professor pressed a button on the machine,

"You get to choose your partner." Picking up the Pokeballs, Elm released the three Pokémon from their Pokeballs.

"Cooool!" Gold said in awe.

"They're all so cute!" Crystal commented.

"Which will it be? Chikorita, the Grass-type," Professor Elm indicated to a small light-green quadruped Pokémon resembling a sarupod. "Cyndaquil, the Fire-type," he indicated to a Pokémon that looked like a porcupine or an echidna, "or Totodile, the Water-type?" the last Pokémon he indicated to resembled a baby crocodile. It looked fierce, but wasn't suited to Crystal's tastes.

Gold hastily made a choice. "I'll take this one!" he said, kneeling next to Cyndaquil. "Hiya Cyndaquil, I'm Gold!"

Cyndaquil stared at him for a moment, and then leapt into Gold's arms.

"Alright!" Gold said.

Professor Elm looked at the other young trainer. "Crystal, it's your turn now," he said.

"Hmmm..." Crystal contemplated for a while. Totodile seemed powerful, it was also pretty funny, but Chikorita seemed more suited to a girl. "Chikorita, how'd you like to be my partner?" she asked.

"Chikkuuu!" said the Pokémon, jumping into her arms.

"Yay!" She cheered.

Totodile seemed upset as Professor Elm recalled it into its Pokeball.

"Alright then, would you two do me a favor?" Elm then asked.

"Hm?" Gold said in surprise.

"Of course Professor, what is it?" Crystal asked.

The Professor cleared his throat. "I have an acquaintance called Mr. Pokémon. He keeps finding weird things and raving about his discoveries. Anyway, I just got an e-mail from him saying that this time it's real. It is intriguing, but we're busy with our Pokémon research. Could you two look into it for us?"

"Sure." Gold said.

"Of course." Crystal said.

"Great! He lives just past Cherrygrove city. If your Pokémon get hurt," he indicated to a machine next to him, "use this machine to heal them."

"Thanks Professor. Gold and I will be back soon. Could we have your phone number just in case?"

Elm nodded and gave the two Trainers his phone number.

"Thanks Professor. Now come on Gold."

Gold followed his friend out of the lab. "Bye Professor!"

"Stay safe you two! Bye!"

Once outside the lab, Crystal and Gold excitedly chatted away. Gold went ahead to the Pokemart to buy some Potions, and Crystal waited by the lab. She looked around the corner and saw a red-haired boy around her age looking through the window.

"So, this is the famous Elm Pokémon Lab." He said ominously.

"Excuse me," Crystal said, "What are you doing?"

The boy looked at her with anger on his face. He turned and shoved her. "None of your business! Go away!" He then gave her a small kick in the rump to get her to move.

Crystal yelped before falling forward. "Ugh, talk about rude." Deciding not to bother with someone as uneducated as him, she dusted herself off and went back to the spot where she was waiting before.

Gold came out of the shop and handed her a few Potions, which Crystal promptly stored in her bag. "Ready?" he asked.

"Yeah." she said. "Maybe we should let our Pokémon walk beside us. I'm sure that they'd like that. I heard about a Pikachu that used to walk by his Trainer about 3 years ago." Crystal released her Chikorita, whom she named Megaree, out of his Pokeball. "Hey Megaree, wanna walk around outside your Pokeball?"

"Chiku! Chikuu!" Megaree said happily.

Gold looked at Cyndaquil. "How about you Cyndaquil?"

Cyndaquil gave a shy "Quil" to show his approval.

"Alright! Let's get going!" Gold said, excitedly running towards Mr. Pokemon's house.

"Gold! Wait!" Crystal said, running after him.

-----------------------------------------------------------

Chapter 2: Chumps!?

After Crystal and Gold had talked to Mr. Pokémon, a man named Professor Oak gave them Pokedexes. Apparently, he wanted them to collect data on the Pokémon that inhabited Johto. Crystal and Gold had accepted the task, and left Mr. Pokemon’s house.
Outside,Crystal got a call from Professor Elm.

“What is it Professor?”

“Crystal, Gold…” The Professor stuttered. “Um… Please get back here now!” Then he hung up.

“What’s going on?” Gold asked Crys, getting up after petting Cyndaquil.

“I don’t know…” she replied. “Come on, let’s go!” Crys said, taking off in a run with Megaree trying to keep up.

On the outskirts of Cherrygrove, Crys saw the red-haired boy from before coming their way.

“So you two got Pokemon as well, huh? What a waste, giving them to weaklings like you.” He said, looking at Cyndaquil and Megaree, who was glaring at him.

Crys frowned. “Yeah? Well-”

Gold interrupted her. “Leave this to me Crys.” He said with a confident smile. “You ready Cyndaquil?”

“Quil!”

“Hm, I guess I have to show you how a real trainer battles!” said the boy. He pulled a Pokeball from his belt. “Go Totodile! Use Scratch!”

The blue crocodile burst out of the Pokeball, slashing Cyndaquil with sharp claws.

“Quiiil!” cried Cyndaquil, landing on its feet.

Gold frowned. “Cyndaquil! Use Tackle!”

Cyndaquil slammed itself into Totodile, knocking the Pokémon down quite hard.

The other boy didn’t seem to care. “Get up and use Scratch again!” he ordered fiercely.

Crystallooked at him. “Don’t you care that Totodile’s hurt!?”

The red-haired male looked at her. “Pfft, are you serious? If anything, letting it be on the verge of fainting toughens it up.”

Totodile slammed into Cyndaquil, who was almost down.

“Cyndaquil, use one more Tackle!”

Cyndaquil slammed into Totodile once more, knocking it out.

The red-haired boy recalled Totodile. “Pathetic.” He glared at Gold. “Don’t think this is over, chumps.” The boy shoved Gold and quickly walked away.

Gold looked at the ground, and saw the boy’s Trainer Card. He read the name, which was very odd.

“Hey!” said the red-haired kid, before he snatched the card back from Gold. “What do you think you’re doing? You best not tell anyone, chump!” And with that, the boy fled.

Crys frowned. “Well that was rude. He’s seriously starting to get annoying.”

Gold smiled. “Come on Crys, we need to get back to Professor Elm and let him know we found the thief!” He picked up Cyndaquil and sprinted off towards Elm’s lab, while Crystal struggled to catch up.

* * *

Back at the lab, a Policewoman named Jenny was questioning the Professor. It was then that Gold burst in. “Aha!” Jenny said, “The perpetrator ALWAYS comes back! You’re under-“

“Stop!” shouted an unknown voice. Everyone turned to the doorway and saw a girl with brown pigtails and a blue mouse Pokemon following her. “Marill and I saw the whole thing. It wasn’t either of these two! It was a kid with red hair. I don’t know his name, but he had a bad vibe about him.”

Gold nodded, grateful that the girl had stepped in. “His name’s Silver! I saw it on his Trainer Card. He stole Totodile, not me!”

Officer Jenny quickly took notes. “Red hair… named Silver. Got it!” the young woman turned to the kids and Elm. “Thank you all for the help. If you need anything, don’t hesitate to ask.” She saluted them, and ran off.

“Now then,” Professor Elm started. “Lyra, where did you see this boy?”

The new girl, evidently called Lyra, stood up from the chair she was in. “By Cherrygrove. I was coming back from my Grandma and Grandpa’s house, when I saw this guy and Silver battling.”

“I see. Gold, Crys, how did everything with Mr. Pokemon go?”

“Oh, it was great! We got an egg, then Gold battled the kid and Cyndaquil seemed to enjoy himself.”

“Yeah. Cyndaquil and I are a great team. Crys and Megaree aren’t too shabby though.” Gold turned to Lyra. “I’m Gold by the way! Thanks for the help with Officer Jenny.”

“No sweat.” Lyra said.

“Oh, Professor…”Crystal said, “Professor Oak gave us the Pokedexes to research Pokemon in Johto.”

“WHAAAA?” Elm said, his mouth wide open. “Did he really?”

“Yeah.”

“Well… that’s certainly a huge responsibility suddenly thrust upon you…”

“Ooh, Cool…” Lyra said, marveling at the Pokedex. “If I were you, Gold, I’d challenge the 8 Gym Leaders. Closest one is Falkner in Violet City.”

Elm nodded. “Lyra is right. Anyone who beats the Gyms can eventually go to the Pokemon League and become Champion.”

“Champion eh?”

“Oh great…” Crystal pet Megaree, “Looks like we’ll have to go along to babysit him.”

“Chikuuu!” Megaree said in agreement.

“Make sure you say goodbye to your families before leaving you two.”

“Right. Thank you Professor. For everything.”Crystal said.

Lyra smiled at Gold. “Good luck! If you need anything, come see me at my Grandparents’ house. They run the Daycare. If I’m not there, then Marill and I are here helping the Professor.”

“Mar!” said her Marill.

Gold gave her a thumbs-up. “You bet!” Gold turned to Crys. “You ready?”

“Yeah.” she replied, heading for the door with her friend.

“Good luck you two!” Elm said, waving. “Remember to come visit me if you need anything!”
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  #2    
Old June 4th, 2013 (08:18 AM).
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dudebot dudebot is offline
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So far, nothing wrong with the story. It's a cookie-cutter retelling of the Second Gen story with some pretty realistic dialogue here and there.

A few missing commas and some sentence structures are shaky, but nothing's gone wrong with the story for the most part.

Keep it up.
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  #3    
Old June 7th, 2013 (01:57 PM).
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Elmogvy Elmogvy is offline
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Cool! It's so far exactly like the plot of the Heartgold/Soulsilver games. A few grammical errors, but understandable story. P.S. I'd like on how Gold picked Cyndaquil. :D
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