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  #3876    
Old June 6th, 2013 (01:39 PM).
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Brynjolf Brynjolf is offline
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Quote originally posted by Scarf:
I know this is going to make me sound like a Debbie Downer, but if someone breaks up with their partner to start dating someone else, isn't that kind of a warning that they're not the most reliable person?

This is why I think every relationship end should be followed by a cooling off period where you have a chance to reflect on things before you start a new relationship. I mean, even if a relationship has been over before it's officially over, you should still wait because, well, it can look bad.
I agree.. I think that a calm-down period of time is sort of required.. Otherwise you end up using the new boyfriend/girlfriend as a band-aid for the last one.
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Old June 6th, 2013 (01:41 PM).
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Quote originally posted by Scarf:
I know this is going to make me sound like a Debbie Downer, but if someone breaks up with their partner to start dating someone else, isn't that kind of a warning that they're not the most reliable person?

This is why I think every relationship end should be followed by a cooling off period where you have a chance to reflect on things before you start a new relationship. I mean, even if a relationship has been over before it's officially over, you should still wait because, well, it can look bad.
Totally agree. Breaking up with someone to get with someone else means that you should have broken up with them sooner.

My friend has had a similar situation where her (now) boyfriend broke up with his ex very shortly before they were officially together. It has led to her being paranoid, and for good reason too - he's cheated twice in the two years and she's still with him for some reason :s.

I believe, no matter how 'friendly' a break up is, if your ex is in a relationship soon afterwards, you're going to feel heartbroken. You should have to decency to hide it for a while, I feel.
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  #3878    
Old June 6th, 2013 (04:41 PM). Edited June 6th, 2013 by Kiriyuuki_Kasuna.
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Kiriyuuki_Kasuna Kiriyuuki_Kasuna is offline
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Quote originally posted by BlahISuck:
I'm surprised that the lot of you have enough experience to narrow your label down so precisely. I think I've had crushes on like... 3 people in my lifetime?
Quote originally posted by Insomniac:
Same here. I've liked about a total of 3-4 in my total life.

But that doesn't stop me from knowing what my preferences are.

I don't have to test out a relationship to know if the person's the kind of person I like.

I myself have had roughly the same amount of crushes/love interests in my time. But, I know that I'll always will be Bisexual, no matter what.

Quote originally posted by Scarf:
I know this is going to make me sound like a Debbie Downer, but if someone breaks up with their partner to start dating someone else, isn't that kind of a warning that they're not the most reliable person?

This is why I think every relationship end should be followed by a cooling off period where you have a chance to reflect on things before you start a new relationship. I mean, even if a relationship has been over before it's officially over, you should still wait because, well, it can look bad.
I agree as well, and it is a warning that they aren't going to be the most reliable person to be with, because they can leave (and cheat) at anytime, sadly. Truthfully it is really awful to start dating someone else right after you break up with you current partner, it's shameful and hurtful in my opinion. But I suppose that these things are bound to happen and occur, y'know cause it's life, it's unpredictable.

A cooling off period should be mandated in break-ups, it's ideal to have time for self reflection and to get your mind out of the gutter of the recent break-up.

Quote:
I mean, even if a relationship has been over before it's officially over, you should still wait because, well, it can look bad.
Always wait no matter what, ALWAYS WAIT!!


------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Oh, since we've been kinda lacking in the political discussion in the LGTB community, I'd thought I'd share this article I found in my Facebook Newsfeed:

http://english.alarabiya.net/en/perspective/2013/04/18/Transgender-candidates-stake-claim-in-Pakistan-vote-.html#

I only skimmed though as I was speechless and at loss for words, so would anyone like to give their sentiments and opinions on this?
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  #3879    
Old June 6th, 2013 (05:20 PM).
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The election's already over, and I don't think people would take her seriously. I wouldn't take her seriously though, she doesn't have much of a platform but a gimmick. And the article was spot on about patronage ruining democracy in Pakistan (which is a problem closer to home as well hmm? hmm?)

I don't want to sound too much of a downer, but I don't really enjoy how LGBT politics is treated here, at least not in the form it is. It's hardly controversial, either we pat ourselves on the back or shake our heads - but in unison. I like articles like this one though, they're more discussion-worthy and that's something I'd like to see more of.
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  #3880    
Old June 6th, 2013 (08:14 PM).
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...:I
Hmm... I see what you guys mean, but...
It's weird you know? Like... It's weird, but I love him.

I think... The relationship was really over before it was official. Things just... Never truly picked up after a while and we started growing apart... Me and him, I tried to talk to him, but sometimes I couldn't get an answer for a few days, and instead of worrying about it like I used to, I just shrugged it off. And then Leon came in, and... Well...

I know I may sound unfaithful, but...
I'm really, truly devoted to my partner, and it was hard to break up with him, don't get me wrong. And I do whatever to make them happy, and I can only hope he will try do the same for me.
Maybe... It's because I do fall in love with the person, not the looks. And he just... Wormed his way in.

*sigh* I am either making no sense, or just digging myself deeper, aren't I?
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  #3881    
Old June 7th, 2013 (03:36 AM).
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Nah, I think I get what you mean. Sounds amazingly cheesy, but sometimes that's what's best for both of you! As long as you know that your new bf is not just a "replacement" then I think it's alright, especially since you knew the last relationship was going downhill. While I do agree that a "cooling off" period is a good idea, just do whatever works for you as long as you know what you're doing! (and even if it doesn't quite work out, then at least you'll have that experience I guess)

I took me about six months or so to finally start thinking about the new friend coming into my life. Now I think I'm happy to stay loyal to my gf, even though I'm still kinda trying to work out feelings. It'll be alright.

Speaking of gf, I got to hear her voice today for the first time in a while, since we were doing a Pokemon trade. I sent her a Beartic so she could use it in the last gym, but afterward she found a wild Cubchoo IN SUMMER. Tomorrow she'll give my Beartic back. Anyway, it was nice to hear from her, even though she didn't speak much to me, I was mostly listening to her talk to her brother in Spanish XD
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  #3882    
Old June 7th, 2013 (06:36 AM).
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I'd like to join. :3 I saw this thread yesterday and fell in love with it. I am a strong believer in equal rights, as well as joined the It gets better project a few years ago. People can be kinda harsh when it comes to this sort of thing. Sorry for the short message, but I'm not good at introductions xD
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  #3883    
Old June 7th, 2013 (07:53 AM).
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It doesn't matter for me anymore anyway...
He broke up with me because I hurt his friend because I got jealous because they're so much closer...
He won't even talk to me anymore...

****... ****! I feel so ****ing bad now and I keep trying to apologize to them... I don't want to lose him... Even as a friend... God, I feel so bad... They won't talk to me... I didn't mean to hurt them...
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  #3884    
Old June 7th, 2013 (07:17 PM).
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So it's been a week for me.

You know what the first thing I noticed now that I'm alone?

How much goddamn time I have on my hands.

Seriously, I cleaned ALL THE THINGS yesterday. Everything. I found myself pacing. Video games didn't entertain me. I've been smoking more. Netflix asked me if I was alright because I watched nearly an season of Supernatural in almost one day, made it to episode 19.

I am outright bored, and it doesn't help me with avoiding thinking of her.
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Old June 8th, 2013 (09:34 AM).
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Just a small update. The Supreme Court here in the US is (probably) going to deliver its decision on DOMA (the so-called Defense of Marriage Act which makes the federal government unable to recognize same-sex marriage, even if certain states do) and/or Prop 8 (the same-sex marriage ban in California). Depending on how things go there could be lots of changes or not many changes for the whole country.

Quote originally posted by BlahISuck:
I don't want to sound too much of a downer, but I don't really enjoy how LGBT politics is treated here, at least not in the form it is. It's hardly controversial, either we pat ourselves on the back or shake our heads - but in unison. I like articles like this one though, they're more discussion-worthy and that's something I'd like to see more of.
Would you elaborate on that a little? Personally I see this club as a safe space first and a discussion space second. If we're just self-congratulating each other I don't see a problem with that because some of us don't have much/any support in our daily lives.

I'm all for heavy debates, but I don't know if most members who post or view this thread would want that.

Quote originally posted by PhantomX0990:
So it's been a week for me.

You know what the first thing I noticed now that I'm alone?

How much goddamn time I have on my hands.

Seriously, I cleaned ALL THE THINGS yesterday. Everything. I found myself pacing. Video games didn't entertain me. I've been smoking more. Netflix asked me if I was alright because I watched nearly an season of Supernatural in almost one day, made it to episode 19.

I am outright bored, and it doesn't help me with avoiding thinking of her.
Netflix does that?

Perhaps you could spend more time with friends and let that keep your mind occupied.
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  #3886    
Old June 8th, 2013 (10:57 AM).
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Quote originally posted by Scarf:
Would you elaborate on that a little? Personally I see this club as a safe space first and a discussion space second. If we're just self-congratulating each other I don't see a problem with that because some of us don't have much/any support in our daily lives.

I'm all for heavy debates, but I don't know if most members who post or view this thread would want that.
The stories we post are usually really one-sided. Like there's no moral exploration and discussion going on, we know exactly what the response is going to be after reading the title. I'm talking about stories like "same sex marriage has been legalized in x" or "same sex marriage has been banned in y" of "z politician made outrageous comments". While every news story is new in itself, the ideas are nothing new, I guess to me it's just ... boring, repetitive and not very stimulating. News updates are cool, its just that I often see the buds of a discussion that disintegrates into yayy or nayy and watching a discussion that didn't have much potential to begin with unravel is a bit depressing to me.

You're right that this is a safe-space first though and that's what it should remain. I think my rant is better directed at D&D - I've just been pining for some serious discussion and intellectual stimulation lately.
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  #3887    
Old June 8th, 2013 (11:09 AM).
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Quote originally posted by BlahISuck:
The stories we post are usually really one-sided. Like there's no moral exploration and discussion going on, we know exactly what the response is going to be after reading the title. I'm talking about stories like "same sex marriage has been legalized in x" or "same sex marriage has been banned in y" of "z politician made outrageous comments". While every news story is new in itself, the ideas are nothing new, I guess to me it's just ... boring, repetitive and not very stimulating. News updates are cool, its just that I often see the buds of a discussion that disintegrates into yayy or nayy and watching a discussion that didn't have much potential to begin with unravel is a bit depressing to me.

You're right that this is a safe-space first though and that's what it should remain. I think my rant is better directed at D&D - I've just been pining for some serious discussion and intellectual stimulation lately.
Ah, I get what you mean now. I wasn't sure if you were talking about our individual stories and didn't want to assume that's what you meant. 'Cuz, you know, there are gonna be some one-sided opinions here about certain things!

Maybe you should start a D&D thread. Or maybe just say something here anyway and see what sticks. There is a certain kind of Daily Chit-Chat feel to this place sometimes depending on who's around and what we're talking about, but I'm sure that you could start some more discussion-based conversations.
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  #3888    
Old June 8th, 2013 (08:34 PM).
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Yeah Phantom man I know how you feel. I cannot get this girl off my mind and it's driving me nuts. I told my friend I would quit smoking weed for her but I've been so stressed recently I took a hit anyways. :\ Not so easy stopping when the piece is sitting in your closet

It's hard to find a way to distract yourself. I would hang out with friends and do things that don't remind me of her. I play skyrim. Water my garden. Read a book. You know?
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Old June 9th, 2013 (01:13 AM).
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FenrirDarkWolf FenrirDarkWolf is offline
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This is how the second break-up went.
Spoiler:
[2:30:27 AM] Fenrir: [1:41:13 AM] Leon carrot cat: hi
[1:41:38 AM] Fenrir: Hi
[1:41:55 AM] Leon carrot cat: :iyou have to say h first from now on :I
[1:42:06 AM] Fenrir: Okay. Why is that?
[1:43:45 AM] Leon carrot cat: cuzi feel ****ing special ._.
[1:44:26 AM] Fenrir: Hm?
[1:46:37 AM] Leon carrot cat: ._>
[1:46:49 AM] Fenrir: Umm...
Alright?
[1:46:59 AM] Fenrir: I'm still highly confused...
[1:51:22 AM] Leon carrot cat: You have to say "Hi" to me first ._.
[1:51:33 AM] Leon carrot cat: weh i or you code offline
[1:52:03 AM] Fenrir: I understood that...
Why do you feel special?
[1:52:32 AM] Leon carrot cat: cuz
[1:52:38 AM] Leon carrot cat: ifeel loved
[1:52:46 AM] Fenrir: Mhmm...
[1:53:18 AM] Leon carrot cat: >:I
[1:53:28 AM] Leon carrot cat: you dont love me?
[1:53:37 AM] Fenrir: I love you.
[1:53:49 AM] Leon carrot cat: <_<lier
[1:53:52 AM] Leon carrot cat: <w<
[1:53:57 AM] Fenrir: Umm....
[1:54:10 AM] Fenrir: To be honest, I never expected to get back with you Leon.
[1:54:17 AM] Fenrir: I just wanted us to stay friends.
[1:54:22 AM] Leon carrot cat: ..
[1:54:27 AM] Leon carrot cat: wellfine then
[1:54:37 AM] Fenrir: Sorry...
[1:55:05 AM] Leon carrot cat: t(T_Tt) to think i liked you
[1:55:11 AM] Fenrir: Sorry...
[1:55:56 AM] Fenrir: Leon, don't do this. I just wanted to be friends. I never expected a second chance from you Leon. I'm sorry if I hurt you though.
[1:58:46 AM] Leon carrot cat: Leon carrot cat has shared contact details with Fenrir.
[1:59:20 AM] Leon carrot cat: you ****ing said yes andyou do this
[2:00:01 AM] Fenrir: I'm sorry....
I'm really sorry...
But, when you told me to **** off, and that I pissed you off a lot, I thought that you didn't like me back...
[2:00:14 AM] Leon carrot cat: now i trust you as far as i can throw you >: |
[2:00:54 AM] Fenrir: I still want to be friends Leon. I'll still draw the art I promised you. I don't want to lose your friendship Leon.
[2:01:45 AM] Leon carrot cat: Nope
[2:01:58 AM] Fenrir: ....Leon...
[2:02:01 AM] Leon carrot cat: but hey thats what i get for adding someone i dont know
[2:02:05 AM] Fenrir: Leon, I'm sorry.
[2:02:32 AM] Fenrir: You know I didn't want to hurt you...
[2:02:53 AM] Leon carrot cat: well ya did
[2:03:09 AM] Fenrir: I'm sorry I did...
I never mean to hurt anyone...
[2:03:31 AM] Fenrir: I still want to be friends Leon...
[202 AM] Leon carrot cat: piss off you cant just say you love somone then pull that shhit just because they said "**** off" all cuz you made him mad ;I
[226 AM] Fenrir: ...Leon...
[215 AM] Leon carrot cat: T_T what
[207 AM] Fenrir: I'm sorry I did what I did. I shouldn't have led you on. I only hope you can forgive me.
[225 AM] Leon carrot cat: Forgive you
[239 AM] Leon carrot cat: thats the las t thing i'll do in 67 years
[202 AM] Fenrir: ...Okay...
[217 AM] Leon carrot cat: scratch that 67 year part
[220 AM] Leon carrot cat: I WILL NEVER
[226 AM] Leon carrot cat: forgive you
[249 AM] Fenrir: ...Okay. I can respect that desicion.


And you know what?
I. Feel. Great.
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  #3890    
Old June 9th, 2013 (02:57 AM).
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Quote originally posted by Insomniac:
It's hard to find a way to distract yourself. I would hang out with friends and do things that don't remind me of her. I play skyrim. Water my garden. Read a book. You know?
Getting out in general might help in the past I've found the best thing to do is to detach myself from what I would normally contact my ex on.

So I would go out without my phone, or watch a film without my laptop on, little things like that to stop checking up on things constantly.
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  #3891    
Old June 9th, 2013 (03:07 AM).
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AnonygooseD AnonygooseD is offline
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You can always find yourself something to do that takes up time & makes you committed to it, like getting a job, applying for a course, or going training (playing any sport or just going to the gym)...
You'll be occupying your time & in the same time benefiting from it! Whatever you do don't "sleep it off", it'll make you lazier & make you tire easily.
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Old June 9th, 2013 (04:57 AM).
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Quote originally posted by ProjectMisfit:
I'd like to join. :3 I saw this thread yesterday and fell in love with it. I am a strong believer in equal rights, as well as joined the It gets better project a few years ago. People can be kinda harsh when it comes to this sort of thing. Sorry for the short message, but I'm not good at introductions xD
Hello! That's cool that you were part of the It Gets Better project. Do you mind telling us your gender and/or orientation? (seems to be kind of traditional to start things off that way, haha ) If there's no label that suits you, feel free to just describe yourself as best you can

Quote originally posted by FenrirDarkWolf:
This is how the second break-up went.
Spoiler:
[2:30:27 AM] Fenrir: [1:41:13 AM] Leon carrot cat: hi
[1:41:38 AM] Fenrir: Hi
[1:41:55 AM] Leon carrot cat: :iyou have to say h first from now on :I
[1:42:06 AM] Fenrir: Okay. Why is that?
[1:43:45 AM] Leon carrot cat: cuzi feel ****ing special ._.
[1:44:26 AM] Fenrir: Hm?
[1:46:37 AM] Leon carrot cat: ._>
[1:46:49 AM] Fenrir: Umm...
Alright?
[1:46:59 AM] Fenrir: I'm still highly confused...
[1:51:22 AM] Leon carrot cat: You have to say "Hi" to me first ._.
[1:51:33 AM] Leon carrot cat: weh i or you code offline
[1:52:03 AM] Fenrir: I understood that...
Why do you feel special?
[1:52:32 AM] Leon carrot cat: cuz
[1:52:38 AM] Leon carrot cat: ifeel loved
[1:52:46 AM] Fenrir: Mhmm...
[1:53:18 AM] Leon carrot cat: >:I
[1:53:28 AM] Leon carrot cat: you dont love me?
[1:53:37 AM] Fenrir: I love you.
[1:53:49 AM] Leon carrot cat: <_<lier
[1:53:52 AM] Leon carrot cat: <w<
[1:53:57 AM] Fenrir: Umm....
[1:54:10 AM] Fenrir: To be honest, I never expected to get back with you Leon.
[1:54:17 AM] Fenrir: I just wanted us to stay friends.
[1:54:22 AM] Leon carrot cat: ..
[1:54:27 AM] Leon carrot cat: wellfine then
[1:54:37 AM] Fenrir: Sorry...
[1:55:05 AM] Leon carrot cat: t(T_Tt) to think i liked you
[1:55:11 AM] Fenrir: Sorry...
[1:55:56 AM] Fenrir: Leon, don't do this. I just wanted to be friends. I never expected a second chance from you Leon. I'm sorry if I hurt you though.
[1:58:46 AM] Leon carrot cat: Leon carrot cat has shared contact details with Fenrir.
[1:59:20 AM] Leon carrot cat: you ****ing said yes andyou do this
[2:00:01 AM] Fenrir: I'm sorry....
I'm really sorry...
But, when you told me to **** off, and that I pissed you off a lot, I thought that you didn't like me back...
[2:00:14 AM] Leon carrot cat: now i trust you as far as i can throw you >: |
[2:00:54 AM] Fenrir: I still want to be friends Leon. I'll still draw the art I promised you. I don't want to lose your friendship Leon.
[2:01:45 AM] Leon carrot cat: Nope
[2:01:58 AM] Fenrir: ....Leon...
[2:02:01 AM] Leon carrot cat: but hey thats what i get for adding someone i dont know
[2:02:05 AM] Fenrir: Leon, I'm sorry.
[2:02:32 AM] Fenrir: You know I didn't want to hurt you...
[2:02:53 AM] Leon carrot cat: well ya did
[2:03:09 AM] Fenrir: I'm sorry I did...
I never mean to hurt anyone...
[2:03:31 AM] Fenrir: I still want to be friends Leon...
[202 AM] Leon carrot cat: piss off you cant just say you love somone then pull that shhit just because they said "**** off" all cuz you made him mad ;I
[226 AM] Fenrir: ...Leon...
[215 AM] Leon carrot cat: T_T what
[207 AM] Fenrir: I'm sorry I did what I did. I shouldn't have led you on. I only hope you can forgive me.
[225 AM] Leon carrot cat: Forgive you
[239 AM] Leon carrot cat: thats the las t thing i'll do in 67 years
[202 AM] Fenrir: ...Okay...
[217 AM] Leon carrot cat: scratch that 67 year part
[220 AM] Leon carrot cat: I WILL NEVER
[226 AM] Leon carrot cat: forgive you
[249 AM] Fenrir: ...Okay. I can respect that desicion.


And you know what?
I. Feel. Great.
Sorry to be blunt, but I gotta say, from where I'm standing... Leon's kind of being an ass, and extremely immature. You admitted you were wrong, you tried to apologize, and he shot you down. If one of my friends behaved like that, well... I'd be the one letting them come back to me, not the other way around. People who handle disagreements and misunderstandings like that just aren't worth the frustration.
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Old June 9th, 2013 (08:29 AM).
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FenrirDarkWolf FenrirDarkWolf is offline
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Quote originally posted by Inkblots:
Sorry to be blunt, but I gotta say, from where I'm standing... Leon's kind of being an ass, and extremely immature. You admitted you were wrong, you tried to apologize, and he shot you down. If one of my friends behaved like that, well... I'd be the one letting them come back to me, not the other way around. People who handle disagreements and misunderstandings like that just aren't worth the frustration.
Oh no, that's fine. That's what a lot of my friends told me too.
Now I'm just like, whatevs, I still respect him as an artist and a person and stuff and if he can't do the same back at the very least, then that's his problem, not mine.

And the reason I feel great, is because I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
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Old June 9th, 2013 (08:45 AM).
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Quote originally posted by Inkblots:
Sorry to be blunt, but I gotta say, from where I'm standing... Leon's kind of being an ass, and extremely immature. You admitted you were wrong, you tried to apologize, and he shot you down. If one of my friends behaved like that, well... I'd be the one letting them come back to me, not the other way around. People who handle disagreements and misunderstandings like that just aren't worth the frustration.
YES. This is EXACTLY what I was about to say. Leon just seems like an immature ass to you here. He does not deserve the sympathy and patience you gave him, but you did. That was noble.

I do hope he understands how stupid he sounded eventually though.

I really do hope that this goes well for you though. There is always someone out there dude.
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Old June 9th, 2013 (11:43 AM).
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I think you both were being immature. Fenrir, you moved too quickly before thinking about -everyone's- feelings in the situation, and Leon was hasty as well.
Right now it's all high drama because it just happened, but I say give it time to cool down, then if you want Leon back in your life as a friend, then approach Leon again explaining that the feelings were all new to you, and you had no intention of hurting him. Of course right NOW he won't listen because you just probably broke his heart a little, and emotions were going everywhere.
Everyone needs to cool off. No one was "more in the right" than the other. Just looks like it is a big mess to me- people jumping from one partner to another is always going to be a bit messy.
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Old June 9th, 2013 (04:07 PM).
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Quote originally posted by Kura:
I think you both were being immature. Fenrir, you moved too quickly before thinking about -everyone's- feelings in the situation, and Leon was hasty as well.
Right now it's all high drama because it just happened, but I say give it time to cool down, then if you want Leon back in your life as a friend, then approach Leon again explaining that the feelings were all new to you, and you had no intention of hurting him. Of course right NOW he won't listen because you just probably broke his heart a little, and emotions were going everywhere.
Everyone needs to cool off. No one was "more in the right" than the other. Just looks like it is a big mess to me- people jumping from one partner to another is always going to be a bit messy.
I see what you mean, I totally understand.
I'll give him some time, I'll give myself some time, and we'll see if he wants to be friends later on.
If anything, I still respect him as an artist.
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Old June 10th, 2013 (01:08 PM).
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Quote originally posted by FenrirDarkWolf:
I see what you mean, I totally understand.
I'll give him some time, I'll give myself some time, and we'll see if he wants to be friends later on.
If anything, I still respect him as an artist.
As an artist? Why only respect him as an artist?
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Old June 10th, 2013 (04:25 PM).
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Old June 11th, 2013 (03:36 AM).
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Quote originally posted by Insomniac:
As an artist? Why only respect him as an artist?
Because, he's a pretty good artist.
And the fact that I'm pretty sure that's the only shred of respect he has for me is an begrudging artist's respect.

Kinda like how I've got these two friends and they hate each other, but they respect each others massaging skills.
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Old June 11th, 2013 (10:24 AM).
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Quote originally posted by FenrirDarkWolf:
Because, he's a pretty good artist.
And the fact that I'm pretty sure that's the only shred of respect he has for me is an begrudging artist's respect.

Kinda like how I've got these two friends and they hate each other, but they respect each others massaging skills.
To me though that makes no sense. Just respect him anyway. You don't have to only respect him because he is an 'artist' just respect him and wait patiently for his replies, be kind to him and expect the same back and eventually he will respect you back.

If you want to become friends with him again, you can't JUST respect him as an artist.
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