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  #3876    
Old June 1st, 2013, 04:36 AM
Magic's Avatar
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To add to the whole 'text break up thing', do people really view it as that bad?

I've had to break up with the majority of my exs, not because I hated them or anything but either the situation was hard or we had drifted a part a lot. Text was the best way for me to do it because I found the words almost impossible to say, the one time I did break up with someone face-to-face I was drunk and utterly fed up with them.

Basically, the ones I cared about I broke up with by text - imo it's short, quick, and means there isn't the potential to break down and reconsider.
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  #3877    
Old June 1st, 2013, 04:38 AM
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AnonygooseD
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Join Date: Dec 2012
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Hey y'all, I just saw this thread & even as a straight I was curious to take a look
I think it would be fun to join, not because I'm LGBT but because I might have stuff to add.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not a hater or anything just so you know, I think I have some experiences that I would like to share, they're not mine though they're of people I know in real life, also I might give some advice, maybe from a straight's point of view?

I also don't want to say if I actually support gay marriage rights or not because:
- If I say I do then the people in real life that I know, who are stalking me here, would hate me.
- If I say I don't then all of you will hate me.


Also this:

This is kinda true in KSA, there are more secretly gay men than meets the eye, mainly because women don't exist in a growing boy's mind, since the only woman he will ever see is his mother, all other women across the country completely cover their body & face, so this makes sense.
They never made a gay pride however, because obviously KSA is an Islamic country, & Islam forbids homosexuality, & the penalty in KSA is death, it's not the same however in other Islamic countries.
I don't live there, but I know people who do & they told me this, but it's funny 'cause I was also told that the king already knows about the gays but he is pretending not to...

So anyway, I would like to join, but I hope you allow me to refrain from adding a user-bar or anything similar in my sig.
Cheers
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  #3878    
Old June 1st, 2013, 05:35 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Retro Bug View Post
Interrupting the flow, per usual.



I'm going to say that I'm ignorant of these terms for the most part, care to explain them in your own terms? I mean, I looked it up and I sorta kinda get it.

Also, congrats Jose~
ty!

And ok:

I feel romantic interest for both/any gender, but sexual interest only develops from a real connection. (Again though, gender is not a concern)

That is to say the more interesting I find a human and the more I connect to a human, the more sexually attracted to them I am.

I appreciate aesthetics greatly and this is in fact one of the main ways in which I feel a connection can begin to form (at least in the scenario of meeting someone new) but It's things like clothes and hair etc that are key here as they're a direct extension of personality.

Appreciation of physical aesthetics develops, but to quote "Kitty Spoon Train" of asexuality.org it is "because their appearance [is] the physical form of the person underneath, rather than some kind of predetermined aesthetic form which I can appreciate in a depersonalised way" and so requires that connection.


I think I've 'filed' myself correctly, but it is damn confusing. I've also been assured that when it gets this complicated wherever you feel you fit best is probably right.

That said, if anyone disagrees or knows of a more fitting name for this let me know.
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  #3879    
Old June 1st, 2013, 07:51 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Counterfeit View Post
ty!

And ok:

I feel romantic interest for both/any gender, but sexual interest only develops from a real connection. (Again though, gender is not a concern)

That is to say the more interesting I find a human and the more I connect to a human, the more sexually attracted to them I am.

I appreciate aesthetics greatly and this is in fact one of the main ways in which I feel a connection can begin to form (at least in the scenario of meeting someone new) but It's things like clothes and hair etc that are key here as they're a direct extension of personality.

Appreciation of physical aesthetics develops, but to quote "Kitty Spoon Train" of asexuality.org it is "because their appearance [is] the physical form of the person underneath, rather than some kind of predetermined aesthetic form which I can appreciate in a depersonalised way" and so requires that connection.


I think I've 'filed' myself correctly, but it is damn confusing. I've also been assured that when it gets this complicated wherever you feel you fit best is probably right.

That said, if anyone disagrees or knows of a more fitting name for this let me know.
Haha I think you've got it all figured out. I don't think you'd need to fix the label, you've got it so precise now.

Hey I've got a question

Does anyone else who is gay have random crushes on the opposite sex? Even though you're gay?

(Because I would in no way date/touch/etc a man, but damn RDJ is hot)
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  #3880    
Old June 1st, 2013, 08:53 AM
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I'm surprised that the lot of you have enough experience to narrow your label down so precisely. I think I've had crushes on like... 3 people in my lifetime?
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  #3881    
Old June 1st, 2013, 09:01 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BlahISuck View Post
I'm surprised that the lot of you have enough experience to narrow your label down so precisely. I think I've had crushes on like... 3 people in my lifetime? :S
Same here. I've liked about a total of 3-4 in my total life.

But that doesn't stop me from knowing what my preferences are.

I don't have to test out a relationship to know if the person's the kind of person I like.
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  #3882    
Old June 1st, 2013, 09:22 AM
Kanzler
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Do you think people do that? Test out relationships? So once they break up with you they'll never want to get back together again? That makes the world feel soo much colder.
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  #3883    
Old June 1st, 2013, 09:28 AM
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Originally Posted by BlahISuck View Post
Do you think people do that? Test out relationships? So once they break up with you they'll never want to get back together again? That makes the world feel soo much colder. :(
Sadly, people do.

Bi curious people are the highest offenders (I have nothing against bi curious but it's the truth) they'll go out with someone to experiment and then break up with them if they figure out they're not bi or they just don't care.

Of course there are good bi curious and mischievous bi curious (the ones who are only "bi" because they think it's cool)
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  #3884    
Old June 6th, 2013, 07:01 AM
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So...
My boyfriend and I broke up for too reason.
One: I did find someone else my age, and, we're together now.
Two: I feel like me and him just lost that.. Spark, y'know?

But he didn't mind. He said he would wait for me. And for that, I'm forever grateful.

I still feel a small bit bad for what Leon(my new guy) did for me... In that, he broke up with his boyfriend at the time, and the bastard had to Leon a "dick, stupid ass, and worthless" and I just wanted to find this guy and beat his ass so badly for putting Leon though hell like that.
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  #3885    
Old June 6th, 2013, 08:34 AM
Kanzler
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LOL I know what that feels like (losing spark) and it's kind of hilarious to me. To think how quickly feelings can change in so short a span of time. I'm kind of apathetic about it now.
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  #3886    
Old June 6th, 2013, 11:13 AM
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I know this is going to make me sound like a Debbie Downer, but if someone breaks up with their partner to start dating someone else, isn't that kind of a warning that they're not the most reliable person?

This is why I think every relationship end should be followed by a cooling off period where you have a chance to reflect on things before you start a new relationship. I mean, even if a relationship has been over before it's officially over, you should still wait because, well, it can look bad.
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  #3887    
Old June 6th, 2013, 01:39 PM
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Originally Posted by Scarf View Post
I know this is going to make me sound like a Debbie Downer, but if someone breaks up with their partner to start dating someone else, isn't that kind of a warning that they're not the most reliable person?

This is why I think every relationship end should be followed by a cooling off period where you have a chance to reflect on things before you start a new relationship. I mean, even if a relationship has been over before it's officially over, you should still wait because, well, it can look bad.
I agree.. I think that a calm-down period of time is sort of required.. Otherwise you end up using the new boyfriend/girlfriend as a band-aid for the last one.
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  #3888    
Old June 6th, 2013, 01:41 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Scarf View Post
I know this is going to make me sound like a Debbie Downer, but if someone breaks up with their partner to start dating someone else, isn't that kind of a warning that they're not the most reliable person?

This is why I think every relationship end should be followed by a cooling off period where you have a chance to reflect on things before you start a new relationship. I mean, even if a relationship has been over before it's officially over, you should still wait because, well, it can look bad.
Totally agree. Breaking up with someone to get with someone else means that you should have broken up with them sooner.

My friend has had a similar situation where her (now) boyfriend broke up with his ex very shortly before they were officially together. It has led to her being paranoid, and for good reason too - he's cheated twice in the two years and she's still with him for some reason :s.

I believe, no matter how 'friendly' a break up is, if your ex is in a relationship soon afterwards, you're going to feel heartbroken. You should have to decency to hide it for a while, I feel.
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  #3889    
Old June 6th, 2013, 04:41 PM
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YamiNoBlade Twihiki Amias
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BlahISuck View Post
I'm surprised that the lot of you have enough experience to narrow your label down so precisely. I think I've had crushes on like... 3 people in my lifetime?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Insomniac View Post
Same here. I've liked about a total of 3-4 in my total life.

But that doesn't stop me from knowing what my preferences are.

I don't have to test out a relationship to know if the person's the kind of person I like.

I myself have had roughly the same amount of crushes/love interests in my time. But, I know that I'll always will be Bisexual, no matter what.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Scarf View Post
I know this is going to make me sound like a Debbie Downer, but if someone breaks up with their partner to start dating someone else, isn't that kind of a warning that they're not the most reliable person?

This is why I think every relationship end should be followed by a cooling off period where you have a chance to reflect on things before you start a new relationship. I mean, even if a relationship has been over before it's officially over, you should still wait because, well, it can look bad.
I agree as well, and it is a warning that they aren't going to be the most reliable person to be with, because they can leave (and cheat) at anytime, sadly. Truthfully it is really awful to start dating someone else right after you break up with you current partner, it's shameful and hurtful in my opinion. But I suppose that these things are bound to happen and occur, y'know cause it's life, it's unpredictable.

A cooling off period should be mandated in break-ups, it's ideal to have time for self reflection and to get your mind out of the gutter of the recent break-up.

Quote:
I mean, even if a relationship has been over before it's officially over, you should still wait because, well, it can look bad.
Always wait no matter what, ALWAYS WAIT!!


------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Oh, since we've been kinda lacking in the political discussion in the LGTB community, I'd thought I'd share this article I found in my Facebook Newsfeed:

http://english.alarabiya.net/en/pers...an-vote-.html#

I only skimmed though as I was speechless and at loss for words, so would anyone like to give their sentiments and opinions on this?
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Last edited by YamiNoBlade Twihiki Amias; June 6th, 2013 at 04:51 PM. Reason: Your double post has been automatically merged.
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  #3890    
Old June 6th, 2013, 05:20 PM
Kanzler
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The election's already over, and I don't think people would take her seriously. I wouldn't take her seriously though, she doesn't have much of a platform but a gimmick. And the article was spot on about patronage ruining democracy in Pakistan (which is a problem closer to home as well hmm? hmm?)

I don't want to sound too much of a downer, but I don't really enjoy how LGBT politics is treated here, at least not in the form it is. It's hardly controversial, either we pat ourselves on the back or shake our heads - but in unison. I like articles like this one though, they're more discussion-worthy and that's something I'd like to see more of.
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  #3891    
Old June 6th, 2013, 08:14 PM
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...:I
Hmm... I see what you guys mean, but...
It's weird you know? Like... It's weird, but I love him.

I think... The relationship was really over before it was official. Things just... Never truly picked up after a while and we started growing apart... Me and him, I tried to talk to him, but sometimes I couldn't get an answer for a few days, and instead of worrying about it like I used to, I just shrugged it off. And then Leon came in, and... Well...

I know I may sound unfaithful, but...
I'm really, truly devoted to my partner, and it was hard to break up with him, don't get me wrong. And I do whatever to make them happy, and I can only hope he will try do the same for me.
Maybe... It's because I do fall in love with the person, not the looks. And he just... Wormed his way in.

*sigh* I am either making no sense, or just digging myself deeper, aren't I?
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  #3892    
Old June 7th, 2013, 03:36 AM
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Nah, I think I get what you mean. Sounds amazingly cheesy, but sometimes that's what's best for both of you! As long as you know that your new bf is not just a "replacement" then I think it's alright, especially since you knew the last relationship was going downhill. While I do agree that a "cooling off" period is a good idea, just do whatever works for you as long as you know what you're doing! (and even if it doesn't quite work out, then at least you'll have that experience I guess)

I took me about six months or so to finally start thinking about the new friend coming into my life. Now I think I'm happy to stay loyal to my gf, even though I'm still kinda trying to work out feelings. It'll be alright.

Speaking of gf, I got to hear her voice today for the first time in a while, since we were doing a Pokemon trade. I sent her a Beartic so she could use it in the last gym, but afterward she found a wild Cubchoo IN SUMMER. Tomorrow she'll give my Beartic back. Anyway, it was nice to hear from her, even though she didn't speak much to me, I was mostly listening to her talk to her brother in Spanish XD
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  #3893    
Old June 7th, 2013, 06:36 AM
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I'd like to join. :3 I saw this thread yesterday and fell in love with it. I am a strong believer in equal rights, as well as joined the It gets better project a few years ago. People can be kinda harsh when it comes to this sort of thing. Sorry for the short message, but I'm not good at introductions xD
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  #3894    
Old June 7th, 2013, 07:53 AM
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FenrirDarkWolf
Water Musician Fenrir
 
Join Date: Feb 2013
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It doesn't matter for me anymore anyway...
He broke up with me because I hurt his friend because I got jealous because they're so much closer...
He won't even talk to me anymore...

****... ****! I feel so ****ing bad now and I keep trying to apologize to them... I don't want to lose him... Even as a friend... God, I feel so bad... They won't talk to me... I didn't mean to hurt them...
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  #3895    
Old June 7th, 2013, 07:17 PM
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So it's been a week for me.

You know what the first thing I noticed now that I'm alone?

How much goddamn time I have on my hands.

Seriously, I cleaned ALL THE THINGS yesterday. Everything. I found myself pacing. Video games didn't entertain me. I've been smoking more. Netflix asked me if I was alright because I watched nearly an season of Supernatural in almost one day, made it to episode 19.

I am outright bored, and it doesn't help me with avoiding thinking of her.
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  #3896    
Old June 8th, 2013, 09:34 AM
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Just a small update. The Supreme Court here in the US is (probably) going to deliver its decision on DOMA (the so-called Defense of Marriage Act which makes the federal government unable to recognize same-sex marriage, even if certain states do) and/or Prop 8 (the same-sex marriage ban in California). Depending on how things go there could be lots of changes or not many changes for the whole country.

Quote:
Originally Posted by BlahISuck View Post
I don't want to sound too much of a downer, but I don't really enjoy how LGBT politics is treated here, at least not in the form it is. It's hardly controversial, either we pat ourselves on the back or shake our heads - but in unison. I like articles like this one though, they're more discussion-worthy and that's something I'd like to see more of.
Would you elaborate on that a little? Personally I see this club as a safe space first and a discussion space second. If we're just self-congratulating each other I don't see a problem with that because some of us don't have much/any support in our daily lives.

I'm all for heavy debates, but I don't know if most members who post or view this thread would want that.

Quote:
Originally Posted by PhantomX0990 View Post
So it's been a week for me.

You know what the first thing I noticed now that I'm alone?

How much goddamn time I have on my hands.

Seriously, I cleaned ALL THE THINGS yesterday. Everything. I found myself pacing. Video games didn't entertain me. I've been smoking more. Netflix asked me if I was alright because I watched nearly an season of Supernatural in almost one day, made it to episode 19.

I am outright bored, and it doesn't help me with avoiding thinking of her.
Netflix does that?

Perhaps you could spend more time with friends and let that keep your mind occupied.
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  #3897    
Old June 8th, 2013, 10:57 AM
Kanzler
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Would you elaborate on that a little? Personally I see this club as a safe space first and a discussion space second. If we're just self-congratulating each other I don't see a problem with that because some of us don't have much/any support in our daily lives.

I'm all for heavy debates, but I don't know if most members who post or view this thread would want that.
The stories we post are usually really one-sided. Like there's no moral exploration and discussion going on, we know exactly what the response is going to be after reading the title. I'm talking about stories like "same sex marriage has been legalized in x" or "same sex marriage has been banned in y" of "z politician made outrageous comments". While every news story is new in itself, the ideas are nothing new, I guess to me it's just ... boring, repetitive and not very stimulating. News updates are cool, its just that I often see the buds of a discussion that disintegrates into yayy or nayy and watching a discussion that didn't have much potential to begin with unravel is a bit depressing to me.

You're right that this is a safe-space first though and that's what it should remain. I think my rant is better directed at D&D - I've just been pining for some serious discussion and intellectual stimulation lately.
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  #3898    
Old June 8th, 2013, 11:09 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BlahISuck View Post
The stories we post are usually really one-sided. Like there's no moral exploration and discussion going on, we know exactly what the response is going to be after reading the title. I'm talking about stories like "same sex marriage has been legalized in x" or "same sex marriage has been banned in y" of "z politician made outrageous comments". While every news story is new in itself, the ideas are nothing new, I guess to me it's just ... boring, repetitive and not very stimulating. News updates are cool, its just that I often see the buds of a discussion that disintegrates into yayy or nayy and watching a discussion that didn't have much potential to begin with unravel is a bit depressing to me.

You're right that this is a safe-space first though and that's what it should remain. I think my rant is better directed at D&D - I've just been pining for some serious discussion and intellectual stimulation lately.
Ah, I get what you mean now. I wasn't sure if you were talking about our individual stories and didn't want to assume that's what you meant. 'Cuz, you know, there are gonna be some one-sided opinions here about certain things!

Maybe you should start a D&D thread. Or maybe just say something here anyway and see what sticks. There is a certain kind of Daily Chit-Chat feel to this place sometimes depending on who's around and what we're talking about, but I'm sure that you could start some more discussion-based conversations.
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  #3899    
Old June 8th, 2013, 08:34 PM
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Yeah Phantom man I know how you feel. I cannot get this girl off my mind and it's driving me nuts. I told my friend I would quit smoking weed for her but I've been so stressed recently I took a hit anyways. :\ Not so easy stopping when the piece is sitting in your closet

It's hard to find a way to distract yourself. I would hang out with friends and do things that don't remind me of her. I play skyrim. Water my garden. Read a book. You know?
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Old June 9th, 2013, 01:13 AM
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FenrirDarkWolf
Water Musician Fenrir
 
Join Date: Feb 2013
Gender: Male
Nature: Quirky
This is how the second break-up went.
Spoiler:
[2:30:27 AM] Fenrir: [1:41:13 AM] Leon carrot cat: hi
[1:41:38 AM] Fenrir: Hi
[1:41:55 AM] Leon carrot cat: :iyou have to say h first from now on :I
[1:42:06 AM] Fenrir: Okay. Why is that?
[1:43:45 AM] Leon carrot cat: cuzi feel ****ing special ._.
[1:44:26 AM] Fenrir: Hm?
[1:46:37 AM] Leon carrot cat: ._>
[1:46:49 AM] Fenrir: Umm...
Alright?
[1:46:59 AM] Fenrir: I'm still highly confused...
[1:51:22 AM] Leon carrot cat: You have to say "Hi" to me first ._.
[1:51:33 AM] Leon carrot cat: weh i or you code offline
[1:52:03 AM] Fenrir: I understood that...
Why do you feel special?
[1:52:32 AM] Leon carrot cat: cuz
[1:52:38 AM] Leon carrot cat: ifeel loved
[1:52:46 AM] Fenrir: Mhmm...
[1:53:18 AM] Leon carrot cat: >:I
[1:53:28 AM] Leon carrot cat: you dont love me?
[1:53:37 AM] Fenrir: I love you.
[1:53:49 AM] Leon carrot cat: <_<lier
[1:53:52 AM] Leon carrot cat: <w<
[1:53:57 AM] Fenrir: Umm....
[1:54:10 AM] Fenrir: To be honest, I never expected to get back with you Leon.
[1:54:17 AM] Fenrir: I just wanted us to stay friends.
[1:54:22 AM] Leon carrot cat: ..
[1:54:27 AM] Leon carrot cat: wellfine then
[1:54:37 AM] Fenrir: Sorry...
[1:55:05 AM] Leon carrot cat: t(T_Tt) to think i liked you
[1:55:11 AM] Fenrir: Sorry...
[1:55:56 AM] Fenrir: Leon, don't do this. I just wanted to be friends. I never expected a second chance from you Leon. I'm sorry if I hurt you though.
[1:58:46 AM] Leon carrot cat: Leon carrot cat has shared contact details with Fenrir.
[1:59:20 AM] Leon carrot cat: you ****ing said yes andyou do this
[2:00:01 AM] Fenrir: I'm sorry....
I'm really sorry...
But, when you told me to **** off, and that I pissed you off a lot, I thought that you didn't like me back...
[2:00:14 AM] Leon carrot cat: now i trust you as far as i can throw you >: |
[2:00:54 AM] Fenrir: I still want to be friends Leon. I'll still draw the art I promised you. I don't want to lose your friendship Leon.
[2:01:45 AM] Leon carrot cat: Nope
[2:01:58 AM] Fenrir: ....Leon...
[2:02:01 AM] Leon carrot cat: but hey thats what i get for adding someone i dont know
[2:02:05 AM] Fenrir: Leon, I'm sorry.
[2:02:32 AM] Fenrir: You know I didn't want to hurt you...
[2:02:53 AM] Leon carrot cat: well ya did
[2:03:09 AM] Fenrir: I'm sorry I did...
I never mean to hurt anyone...
[2:03:31 AM] Fenrir: I still want to be friends Leon...
[202 AM] Leon carrot cat: piss off you cant just say you love somone then pull that shhit just because they said "**** off" all cuz you made him mad ;I
[226 AM] Fenrir: ...Leon...
[215 AM] Leon carrot cat: T_T what
[207 AM] Fenrir: I'm sorry I did what I did. I shouldn't have led you on. I only hope you can forgive me.
[225 AM] Leon carrot cat: Forgive you
[239 AM] Leon carrot cat: thats the las t thing i'll do in 67 years
[202 AM] Fenrir: ...Okay...
[217 AM] Leon carrot cat: scratch that 67 year part
[220 AM] Leon carrot cat: I WILL NEVER
[226 AM] Leon carrot cat: forgive you
[249 AM] Fenrir: ...Okay. I can respect that desicion.


And you know what?
I. Feel. Great.
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