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  #1    
Old August 6th, 2010, 06:42 AM
Cobalt'Scizor's Avatar
Cobalt'Scizor
Wannabe Spriter/ROM Hacker
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Go, Uxie! Erase that person's memories! I almost told you, phew!
Gender: Male


Sorry that it's choppy, couldn't make it go away D:

This is my first ever comic, so I may need some things explained in detail when you ask me to do something.

Plot:

A Riolu who likes to adventure one day wakes up in a jail cell. He nearly gets killed by a Hypno, but then a Latios saves him. He takes him to rest, and a while later a Charizard is also taken there to rest. The two start arguing straight away, and they both rush off. Riolu learns about Power Ribbons, and knows he must collect them to stop the disasters that have been happening recently. This is no easy task, however, as Charizard wants to beat him to it and with the Hypno attempting to stop him, anything could happen...

Riolu teams up with a Pikachu and they form a Rescue/Exploration Team. They rescue Pokemon , and explore as well whilst collecting Power Ribbons throughout the way. But all is not as simple as that...


Volumes:

I will try to add each one as soon as possible, but it takes a while to make them.

Volume 1
Volume 2
Volume 3
Volume 4
Volume 5
Volume 6
Volume 7
Volume 8
Volume 9


I am aware in some volumes that the text is too lightly colored and too small, but I can't fix that so please don't post mentioning it unless you can fix it for me.

Other:

Feel free to comment, criticize and rate my work. Don't be afraid to be too harsh, if it's true then you need to say it. If you have any further questions, feel free to ask.
I am not accepting anybody to help me.
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Last edited by Cobalt'Scizor; August 23rd, 2010 at 05:38 AM.
  #2    
Old August 6th, 2010, 12:49 PM
Logiedan's Avatar
Logiedan
highly-functioning sociopath
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: fountain of dreams
Gender: Male
The story could use a little more fixing up like,why is Hypno attempting to kill him? Why are there the disasters and how can you stop them by using the Power Ribbons?

The speed of the story is going too fast for me I don't know why but you should it down a bit. Volume 3 and 4 are also blurred causing the sprites and backgrounds to hurt my eyes. ):
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  #3    
Old August 6th, 2010, 12:59 PM
Cobalt'Scizor's Avatar
Cobalt'Scizor
Wannabe Spriter/ROM Hacker
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Go, Uxie! Erase that person's memories! I almost told you, phew!
Gender: Male
If everything went slower, I'll need a lot more comics, as it would take a very long time to explain everything. Also, the story isn't clear yet, as books usually create questions for the reader at the beginning which are later explained in the book, and that's what I'm doing here. The Hypno, it was intentional for the reader to wonder why, and it's something that will be explained.

When you see Celebi, it will take up a lot of the comic to explain things, and since it's an action comic, that messes it up but I still have to do it to fully explain what's happening.

The reader isn't supposed to know these things, but the Pokemon are as it is general knowledge, so it'll make more sense if it is explained when a character doesn't know something, and the information is revealed to the reader when it is revealed to that character.
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  #4    
Old August 6th, 2010, 04:18 PM
Esper's Avatar
Esper
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: California
As much as it's good to keep some things secret to keep the tension up if you keep too much hidden you risk alienating your readers and/or looking like you're not sure where the plot is going. You explained things, but I'm still in the dark about why these characters are doing what they're doing. I guess that's my main criticism, that they're a little generic even if the plot isn't.
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  #5    
Old August 8th, 2010, 12:44 PM
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tpmrpg
Beginning Hacker, Gamer
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Gender: Male
hey :::...Scizor...::: again nice comic
  #6    
Old August 22nd, 2010, 07:55 AM
Cobalt'Scizor's Avatar
Cobalt'Scizor
Wannabe Spriter/ROM Hacker
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Go, Uxie! Erase that person's memories! I almost told you, phew!
Gender: Male
I added volumes 7, 8 and 9. :D
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  #7    
Old June 7th, 2013, 03:45 PM
Creederboy
Unhatched Egg
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Gender: Male
PLEASE! I BEG YOU! MAKE MORE!!! THIS IS HILARIOUS!!!
  #8    
Old June 7th, 2013, 04:46 PM
joeyhugg's Avatar
joeyhugg
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Gender: Male
These are awesome. It's a bit depressing seeing one of my favorite Pokemon (Murkrow, Honchkrow being my favorite) being portrayed as a simple minion. The Honchkrows will lead a revolution! Anyway, these are great! Although, everything happens kinda randomly...

These are awesome. It's a bit depressing seeing one of my favorite Pokemon (Murkrow, Honchkrow being my favorite) being portrayed as a simple minion. The Honchkrows will lead a revolution! Anyway, these are great! Although, everything happens kinda randomly...
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Last edited by joeyhugg; June 7th, 2013 at 04:55 PM. Reason: Your double post has been automatically merged.
  #9    
Old June 21st, 2013, 01:13 PM
Logiedan's Avatar
Logiedan
highly-functioning sociopath
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: fountain of dreams
Gender: Male
oh gad. this is 3 years old. It's older than me! Please don't revive threads that are a month old, it's the official PC rules.

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