The PokéCommunity Forums  

Go Back   The PokéCommunity Forums > Off-Topic Discussions > Discussions & Debates
Sign Up Rules/FAQ Live Battle Blogs Mark Forums Read

Notices

Discussions & Debates The place to go for slightly more in-depth topics. Discussions and debates about the world, current events, ideas, news, and more.


Reply
Click here to go to the first staff post in this thread.  
Thread Tools
  #1    
Old July 19th, 2013, 01:07 PM
Lance's Avatar
Lance
Master of Dragons
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Blackthorn City
Gender: Male
Nature: Adamant
Send a message via Skype™ to Lance
Spoiler:
Quote:
An article published under the headline “Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior” in the Wall Street Journal on January 8, 2011, contained excerpts from her book, in which Chua describes her efforts to give her children what she describes as a traditional, strict “Chinese” upbringing. This piece was controversial. Many readers missed the supposed irony and self-deprecating humor in the title and the piece itself and instead believed that Chua was advocating the “superiority” of a particular, very strict, ethnically defined approach to parenting. In fact Chua has stated that the book was not a "how-to" manual but a self-mocking memoir. In any case, Chua defines “Chinese mother” loosely to include parents of other ethnicities who practice traditional, strict child-rearing, while also acknowledging that “Western parents come in all varieties,” and not all ethnically Chinese parents practice strict child-rearing.

Chua also reported that in one study of 48 Chinese immigrant mothers, the vast majority 'said that they believe their children can be "the best" students, that "academic achievement reflects successful parenting," and that if children did not excel at school then there was "a problem" and parents "were not doing their job."' Chua contrasts them with the view she labels “Western” – that a child’s self-esteem is paramount.

In one extreme example, Chua mentioned that she had called one of her children “garbage,” a translation of a term her own father called her on occasion in her family’s native Hokkien dialect. Particularly controversial was the ‘Little White Donkey’ anecdote, where Chua described how she got her unwilling younger daughter to learn a very difficult piano piece. In Chua’s words, “… I hauled Lulu’s dollhouse to the car and told her I’d donate it to the Salvation Army piece by piece if she didn’t have ‘The Little White Donkey’ perfect by the next day. When Lulu said, ‘I thought you were going to the Salvation Army, why are you still here?’ I threatened her with no lunch, no dinner, no Christmas or Hanukkah presents, no birthday parties for two, three, four years. When she still kept playing it wrong, I told her she was purposely working herself into a frenzy because she was secretly afraid she couldn’t do it. I told her to stop being lazy, cowardly, self-indulgent and pathetic.” They then “work[ed] right through dinner” without letting her daughter “get up, not for water, not even for bathroom breaks.” The anecdote concludes by describing how her daughter was “beaming” after she finally mastered the piece and “wanted to play [it] over and over.”

Chua uses the term "Tiger Mother" to mean a mother who is a strict disciplinarian. This use of the term appears to be fairly recent.


Definition and background in the spoiler. Do you agree with the super-strict version of parenting, or a more relaxed one? Does it actually produce smarter children? (Hint: some studies suggest it doesn't)

Thoughts?
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #2    
Old July 19th, 2013, 01:15 PM
Kanzler
スペースディスコ ��82.
Community Supporter
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Toronto
Age: 20
Gender: Male
Nature: Relaxed
The parenting style has to match the personality of the child. It's all about the child in the end. If he or she is not receptive to a strict parenting style, then it's only going to cause problems. Chua was successful at engaging her daughter, and that to me is the main factor in successful parenting. As long as you engage the child in whatever, no matter how you do it, you're being a good parent.
__________________
Cadance.
Reply With Quote
  #3    
Old July 19th, 2013, 02:12 PM
droomph's Avatar
droomph
mmm gurl that 90s
Community Supporter
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: bar'jách
Age: 17
Gender: Male
Nature: Impish
I think most Asian parents (and otherwise strict parents) just tend to throw money and resources at the kid with the hopes of having one or two stick.

But let me tell you, if you carefully get to know your child and actually give them stuff in a way that is acceptable to them, they can get a million times more stuff for a millionth of the cost.

Maybe some people operate with strict parents, and I understand. But many others don't. So you have to match your children's personality or else all the strictness and extracurricular activities will fail miserably and you'll have a kid who hates you forever for what you did to them, etc.
__________________
did u no there r 21 letters in the alphabet
o i forgot 5
uraqt


Reply With Quote
  #4    
Old July 19th, 2013, 06:38 PM
twocows's Avatar
twocows
Pretentious Intellectual Jerk
Community Supporter
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Michigan
Age: 23
Gender: Male
Nature: Lax
I don't know about the rest of it, but what I got out of it is that threatening your kid (especially if you don't follow through) isn't nearly as effective as working together with them on something they're having trouble with.
__________________
Doctors Without Borders: one of the few charity groups you can rely on to actually do real good in the world.

PM me if you have computer troubles. I work in IT for a living and can probably solve your problems. My rate is $expensive/hr, but I'm still cheaper than Creep Squad and, unlike them, will actually get the job done or let you know if I can't.

Quote:
The trouble with fighting for human freedom is that one spends most of one's time defending scoundrels. For it is against scoundrels that oppressive laws are first aimed, and oppression must be stopped at the beginning if it is to be stopped at all.
- H. L. Mencken, unsourced

Quote:
There is a cult of ignorance in the United States, and there always has been. The strain of anti-intellectualism has been a constant thread winding its way through our political and cultural life, nurtured by the false notion that democracy means that "my ignorance is just as good as your knowledge."
- Isaac Asimov, Column in Newsweek (21 January 1980) [source]

NEW 40K MMOFPS YESSSSS
Reply With Quote
  #5    
Old July 20th, 2013, 03:37 AM
Limerent's Avatar
Limerent
Community Supporter
 
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Sydney, Australia
Age: 18
Gender: Male
Nature: Quiet
My parents are extremely relaxed, I'd have rather have had really strict parents like in the Chinese culture from the article. No, having non-strict parents or strict parents does not make you any smarter, but stricter parents provide a more supportive environment for a child to achieve their full potential. You don't have to be a full on Nazi mom or dad, but putting your foot down and keeping your child's best interests is heart should be the unwavering role of your job. A 70-30% ratio of tough love to genuine bonding would be nice in my opinion.

Not to blame my failures in life on my parents, because they are my failures after all, but getting tough love seems to breed more successful people than the "give the kids everything they want and not what they need" approach. Of course this is entirely my personal point of view due to my experiences, others will feel differently
__________________
Hi.
Reply With Quote
  #6    
Old August 7th, 2013, 11:43 AM
Lance's Avatar
Lance
Master of Dragons
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Blackthorn City
Gender: Male
Nature: Adamant
Send a message via Skype™ to Lance
What may work in one culture may not necessarily fly in another. The U.S., by and large, lacks the societal discipline for this to catch on en masse, I think. From personal experience, I can tell you that people I have known that were raised in an ultra-strict, dictatorial household were in the fact more rebellious and such - all you need for a problem is a rigid system of parenting and a stubborn child. The real key is balance and flexibility. Know when to be hard or firm and when to ease off and let the child experiment or learn for themselves.
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #7    
Old August 17th, 2013, 02:49 PM
zakisrage's Avatar
zakisrage
In the trunk on Highway 10
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Newcastle, NSW, Australia
Age: 19
Gender: Male
Nature: Impish
I think it's a bad idea. Most Asians I know do not have parents who subscribed to that. Most Asian Americans don't have tiger mothers either. It's an idea that only represents a fraction of Chinese parents. Many of them will end up with normal jobs. I think Amy Chua is playing into ethnic stereotypes.

China's success has a lot to do with its government. Japan is not a communist government, and strict orderly emphasis has severely backfired. The phenomenon of hikikomori exists because of this. Also, Southeast Asians in the US and other countries are often less successful than East Asians.

She also fails to take into account the Chinese families who were in the US for generations. Many of them are unfamiliar with Asian etiquette, and many have non-Chinese ancestry.

I don't see the same stereotype where I live. The Chinese are barely better off than average people.
__________________
Helga: Look Phoebe, you gotta snap out of this. I mean, criminy, it's not like it's the first time you ever farted. Heck, when you sleep over you do it all the time. You rip 'em all night long, they stink to high heaven. It's all I can do to keep from passing out.
Phoebe: Just get out.
- Hey Arnold
Reply With Quote
  #8    
Old August 17th, 2013, 05:50 PM
Aeroblast's Avatar
Aeroblast
Cutting inside like a boss
Community Supporter
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: My mom's basement. (not really)
Age: 19
Gender: Male
Nature: Serious
I think Authoritarian parenting largely have negative effect on kids. For example, children that were raised in authoritarian environment usually have low self-esteem and/or are socially awkward. Otherwise they might be more aggressive when they get older if they want to vent their frustration toward others.
__________________

Reply With Quote
Reply
Quick Reply

Sponsored Links
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Minimum Characters Per Post: 25



All times are UTC -8. The time now is 11:33 PM.


Style by Nymphadora, artwork by Sa-Dui.
Like our Facebook Page Follow us on Twitter © 2002 - 2014 The PokéCommunity™, pokecommunity.com.
Pokémon characters and images belong to The Pokémon Company International and Nintendo. This website is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Nintendo, Creatures, GAMEFREAK, The Pokémon Company or The Pokémon Company International. We just love Pokémon.
All forum styles, their images (unless noted otherwise) and site designs are © 2002 - 2014 The PokéCommunity / PokéCommunity.com.
PokéCommunity™ is a trademark of The PokéCommunity. All rights reserved. Sponsor advertisements do not imply our endorsement of that product or service. User generated content remains the property of its creator.