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  #4101    
Old August 18th, 2013 (8:56 PM).
Phantom's Avatar
Phantom Phantom is offline
Uh, I didn't do it
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Location: Minnesota
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Why the hell can't I find someone, anyone?!

Honestly, the local pool for lesbians here sucks.

Anyone else encountering something like this? Someone told me fish in the sea and all that, well my response was, it's not a flipping sea, it's a puddle.

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  #4102    
Old August 18th, 2013 (9:59 PM).
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The Dark Avenger The Dark Avenger is offline
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Don't complain to me, you live in Minneapolis! Try livin' in the middle of nowhere :p

Some tips:
Don't do the bar scene. Don't do the bar scene. Don't do the bar scene.

Instead

Join a LGBT activity group of some sort. For instance, a lesbian book club. Wow, that example sounds like a lame stereotype :p

Let your friends set you up. Sometimes, the interpersonal network will allow you to meet new people, but keep in mind that your friends don't actually have to date the person they set you up with! The plus side is that you may have common interests and you get a third-party perspective of the prospective suitor, though there's some bias, but it can be more accurate than a personal testimony.

Do the online dating thang! (Don't use POF [speaking of fish in the sea] or craiglist, ect.)
Further to that point, I would invest in a subscription of Match. Usually it's a smaller pool of people, but they all generally seek a long term relationship and are willing to make an investment to do so. The site is a filter in of itself. Though, Okcupid, is simply that, 'okay', if you can't afford the subscription, use that with some filter tools to get rid of the bad eggs.

Lastly, this may annoy you a tad, be patient and don't force anything. I have done that when I have felt like my options were limited, and I have many regrets for doing so.

Artwork by Fairy+
  #4103    
Old August 18th, 2013 (10:36 PM).
Phantom's Avatar
Phantom Phantom is offline
Uh, I didn't do it
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fenneking View Post
Don't complain to me, you live in Minneapolis! Try livin' in the middle of nowhere :p
I get that Minneapolis is supposedly the 'gayest city liek everr' but that doesn't mean that it's like you walk down the street and just can pick out the gay... okay, yes you can but that's not what I mean.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fenneking View Post
Some tips:
Don't do the bar scene. Don't do the bar scene. Don't do the bar scene.
I wouldn't touch the bar scene with a hundred foot pole.

Seriously.

And that's probably like, ninety-nine percent of the problem right there. The bar crowd is HUGE around here, and I don't drink... or dance... or even walk on the same side of the street as a club... or ever been to a...

Notmything.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fenneking View Post
Instead

Join a LGBT activity group of some sort. For instance, a lesbian book club. Wow, that example sounds like a lame stereotype :p

Let your friends set you up. Sometimes, the interpersonal network will allow you to meet new people, but keep in mind that your friends don't actually have to date the person they set you up with! The plus side is that you may have common interests and you get a third-party perspective of the prospective suitor, though there's some bias, but it can be more accurate than a personal testimony.

Do the online dating thang! (Don't use POF [speaking of fish in the sea] or craiglist, ect.)
Further to that point, I would invest in a subscription of Match. Usually it's a smaller pool of people, but they all generally seek a long term relationship and are willing to make an investment to do so. The site is a filter in of itself. Though, Okcupid, is simply that, 'okay', if you can't afford the subscription, use that with some filter tools to get rid of the bad eggs.

Lastly, this may annoy you a tad, be patient and don't force anything. I have done that when I have felt like my options were limited, and I have many regrets for doing so.
Don't know any real life groups. But actually, might look into it. Can't hurt, and I can't say I've really researched much. Been a lone wolf. Hooowwl. Okay I'm done.

I have a total of ONE gay friend. That's it. Out of all the people I know. One. One.

And he can't even find himself a boyfriend.

And online dating... last time I met someone from online it was not a pleasant experience.


Am I just being picky? I guess I'm just facing that point in my life where I need to go out of my way to meet people. Aside from work, family, and my circle of friends, I don't get to meet anyone really.
  #4104    
Old August 18th, 2013 (11:07 PM).
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New Eden New Eden is offline
Ascension to heaven
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Kind of in the same boat, and I just began expressing an interesting in having a partner.

I have absolutely no friend circle at all concerning in-person, and I haven't since I was thirteen, so I guess that's one thing.

My situation seems to be a little more crunched side considering that I'm pre-HRT though... but I have the fortune of group sessions starting in the fall so luck may come my way in some shape then.

  #4105    
Old August 18th, 2013 (11:50 PM).
The Dark Avenger's Avatar
The Dark Avenger The Dark Avenger is offline
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Well, I think many of us have had bad online experiences. It's best used as a date making tool rather than a dating tool. As suggested, I would go to a reputable site, in which, all or most of the users are serious in their pursuits for a long-term/life-long relationship if they meet the right person. Of course people will lie and disappoint you...it's the internet :p
That is why I would say, it is a date setting tool, and should really only be used to help you meet someone in person in order to then access if you are compatible. An online/long distance relationship should not be the main function of the site. It's all about how you use it. Though you might go on five terrible date per one promising one, it might be worth it. As you said, you might have to put yourself out there. Though, it's a lot easier to say than to do in that respect.

Artwork by Fairy+
  #4106    
Old August 18th, 2013 (11:58 PM).
Phantom's Avatar
Phantom Phantom is offline
Uh, I didn't do it
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fenneking View Post
Well, I think many of us have had bad online experiences. It's best used as a date making tool rather than a dating tool. As suggested, I would go to a reputable site, in which, all or most of the users are serious in their pursuits for a long-term/life-long relationship if they meet the right person. Of course people will lie and disappoint you...it's the internet :p
That is why I would say, it is a date setting tool, and should really only be used to help you meet someone in person in order to then access if you are compatible. An online/long distance relationship should not be the main function of the site. It's all about how you use it. Though you might go on five terrible date per one promising one, it might be worth it. As you said, you might have to put yourself out there. Though, it's a lot easier to say than to do in that respect.
Yeah... that moment when you meet them.

And they're a guy.

Nope.
  #4107    
Old August 19th, 2013 (12:07 AM).
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Star-Lord Star-Lord is offline
dangerous and ambitious.
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Ah, people who are interested in relationships. I think it's really cute actually.

I wish I could find a way to fix my intimacy issues so I could do that. I'm petty happy with single life altogether though.
  #4108    
Old August 19th, 2013 (12:23 AM). Edited August 19th, 2013 by The Dark Avenger.
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The Dark Avenger The Dark Avenger is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PhantomX0990 View Post
Yeah... that moment when you meet them.

And they're a guy.

Nope.
I doubt that happens often, especially those who pay for a subscription. Though, you have a legitimate concern about meeting a total stranger, especially not knowing if they are physically the person that they are portraying. In your case, perhaps you might want to do a phone call, or better yet, a short and sweet Skype conversation. That way, you might be able to reduce your in-person dating anxiety.

I don't know why I think I am qualified to give dating advice tonight. But, I guess my tips can't be any worse than the crap Patti Stanger spews, and she actually gets paid for her disservice :p

Quote:
Originally Posted by Moogles View Post
Ah, people who are interested in relationships. I think it's really cute actually.

I wish I could find a way to fix my intimacy issues so I could do that. I'm petty happy with single life altogether though.
Eh, you're 18, there's no huge rush. Plus, you shouldn't feel obligated or anything to be relationship-minded. You have plenty of time to come to that conclusion. I personally have been on a hiatus of which will last another year once I move, and I mean a complete hiatus from physical and emotional bonding. It's good to know how to be single or independent, especially while figuring out what you want to do with your own life. During last year and through graduation coming up next Spring, I feel like I needed to establish my own identity and be able to relocate freely without being tied down by romantic baggage.

Artwork by Fairy+
  #4109    
Old August 19th, 2013 (4:55 AM).
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Shining Raichu Shining Raichu is offline
Emile Hersch turned 30 today. Who the hell is Emile Hersch?
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Moogles
Ah, people who are interested in relationships. I think it's really cute actually.
That sounded so condescending lmao Moogles I love you so much.

"So this is why God bombed us."

Moderator of General Chat

  #4110    
Old August 19th, 2013 (6:45 AM).
Psycho Yuffie's Avatar
Psycho Yuffie Psycho Yuffie is offline
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Minnesota, USA
Age: 31
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I would like to have a girlfriend, but I don't see it happening any time soon. The dating world is pretty harsh and honestly seems to be a lot more of a hassle than it's worth.
  #4111    
Old August 19th, 2013 (7:00 AM).
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Zero° Zero° is offline
Mirai Nikki
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I'm happy with my current relationship, even though it is a long distance one. This is my first long distance relationship and I've heard they're hard to maintain but I think communication is key especially in LDRs so I try to communicate with my partner as much as possible. It does frustrate me a little sometimes because it feels like I'll never be able to see him in person anytime soon but who knows honestly, I'm not trying to be too optimistic but I don't want to be negative either.

Anyway I would like to join this club. I'm bisexual and have been so since middle school. I'm not open about it irl but there have been a few close friends that I've told, and that's all I plan to tell for now.
  #4112    
Old August 19th, 2013 (11:31 AM).
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Mana Mana is online now
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I found my boyfriend on Grindr...

Yeah I don't admit that to many. except entire websites
  #4113    
Old August 19th, 2013 (11:43 AM).
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Star-Lord Star-Lord is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fenneking View Post
Eh, you're 18, there's no huge rush. Plus, you shouldn't feel obligated or anything to be relationship-minded. You have plenty of time to come to that conclusion. I personally have been on a hiatus of which will last another year once I move, and I mean a complete hiatus from physical and emotional bonding. It's good to know how to be single or independent, especially while figuring out what you want to do with your own life. During last year and through graduation coming up next Spring, I feel like I needed to establish my own identity and be able to relocate freely without being tied down by romantic baggage.
I'm not really in a rush nor do I feel obligated. I think it's just a self-realization that I do have serious issues being intimate with other people and a self-reflection has shown that I ca't expect to be able to get through my life like this. While I've managed the last three years basically by myself, that isn't an effective of necessarily a healthy lifestyle and I should come to terms that being intimate with other people is ok, sharing secrets with people are ok and trusting people is perfectly fine. While I myself firmly believe I am a strong, independent person who enjoys single life, I'm also moving across country for two weeks for post-secondary and from there I'll finally be able to have an age of discovery for who I am. Working on my intimacy issues will be something I'll actively work towards.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Shining Raichu View Post
That sounded so condescending lmao Moogles I love you so much.
oh my god I was being sincere too lmf

also no shame on meeting your bf on grindr.
  #4114    
Old August 20th, 2013 (3:25 AM). Edited August 20th, 2013 by umbryan.
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umbryan umbryan is offline
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Kalos
Gender: Male
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OMG! How has it taken me so long to find this! I wanna join!

Quote:
Originally Posted by SwiftSign View Post
I found my boyfriend on Grindr...

Yeah I don't admit that to many. except entire websites
Oh god, such horrifying memories of that app.....

Quote:
Originally Posted by Moogles View Post
Ah, people who are interested in relationships. I think it's really cute actually.

I wish I could find a way to fix my intimacy issues so I could do that. I'm petty happy with single life altogether though.
I'm so unhappy with single life, it sucks! It's been a long six months since I even had any kind of date! Lol

Quote:
Originally Posted by Psycho Yuffie View Post
I would like to have a girlfriend, but I don't see it happening any time soon. The dating world is pretty harsh and honestly seems to be a lot more of a hassle than it's worth.
It is harsh! But come on, you're 28! You have to get out there, missy!

What's that Edgar Allan Poe quote, "it's better to love and lost, then to never love at all"

And you miss 100% of the shots you don't take.

I hope my inspirational quotes help xD
Trainer Name: Jordin
Pokemon Y

Team: (The Cute & The Fluffy)

Paris- Female Furfrou
Sam- Male Togekiss
Blueberry- Female Altaria
Logan- Male Flareon
Ramchop IV- Female Ampharos
Mademoiselle- Female Gardevoir (MEGA) (SHINY)
  #4115    
Old August 20th, 2013 (5:39 AM).
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Sanguine Sanguine is offline
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Location: in front of my TV
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I actually enjoy being single, it's refreshing not having to commit to anything too serious. It's always a laugh being able to go out with friends and get your fill of the local merchandise ;D

I've never been the biggest fan of relationships, but I can admit that it was nice being in one (the security, closeness was pretty amazing). I'm not sure whether I want to be in one anytime soon, but it's a possibility :3

It's amazingly weird, because I don't remember if I ever joined this club xD If I didn't, I'd like to!
[00:18] +oocyst: sang is too pure
  #4116    
Old August 20th, 2013 (6:38 AM).
Shining Raichu's Avatar
Shining Raichu Shining Raichu is offline
Emile Hersch turned 30 today. Who the hell is Emile Hersch?
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I kind of owe my current life to Grindr. I'm sitting here in my nice apartment with two gay roommates all thanks to the magic that is Grindr. Without it I'd still be sitting at Mum's house waiting for some opportunity to find me instead of going out and seeking one.

And if my roommate would have just said yes, I could have said "I found my boyfriend on Grindr" too

"So this is why God bombed us."

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  #4117    
Old August 20th, 2013 (6:54 AM).
umbryan's Avatar
umbryan umbryan is offline
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shining Raichu View Post
I kind of owe my current life to Grindr. I'm sitting here in my nice apartment with two gay roommates all thanks to the magic that is Grindr. Without it I'd still be sitting at Mum's house waiting for some opportunity to find me instead of going out and seeking one.

And if my roommate would have just said yes, I could have said "I found my boyfriend on Grindr" too
All I found on Grindr were old guys who wanted to pay me for things and guys my age that just wanted a fun night.

Sooooo. Grindr and I don't really like each other xD
Trainer Name: Jordin
Pokemon Y

Team: (The Cute & The Fluffy)

Paris- Female Furfrou
Sam- Male Togekiss
Blueberry- Female Altaria
Logan- Male Flareon
Ramchop IV- Female Ampharos
Mademoiselle- Female Gardevoir (MEGA) (SHINY)
  #4118    
Old August 20th, 2013 (7:35 AM).
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Gyardosamped Gyardosamped is offline
entering snake habitat
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My experience on both Grindr and Jack'd (the only two gay networking apps on my phone) haven't been the best. They've made me a little hesitant when it comes to the dating scene. I know some have had a good experience on them, which I was hoping would happen to me too, but it hasn't.. at least not yet lol. There seems to be two sets of people on the apps (at least from what I've experienced).. those who just want one-night stands, or those who really are sincere, but won't really continue any conversation you have with them. You ask them open-ended questions but the conversation ends up becoming very narrow. :\ It sucks for me especially because I'm already very introverted as it is. Obviously this isn't always the case with everyone on there, but I'm just some speaking from what I've experiened. GAHHHHH. I just want a LTR. Is that so hard to ask for? lol
  #4119    
Old August 20th, 2013 (8:09 AM). Edited August 20th, 2013 by umbryan.
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umbryan umbryan is offline
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
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Gender: Male
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gyardosamped View Post
My experience on both Grindr and Jack'd (the only two gay networking apps on my phone) haven't been the best. They've made me a little hesitant when it comes to the dating scene. I know some have had a good experience on them, which I was hoping would happen to me too, but it hasn't.. at least not yet lol. There seems to be two sets of people on the apps (at least from what I've experienced).. those who just want one-night stands, or those who really are sincere, but won't really continue any conversation you have with them. You ask them open-ended questions but the conversation ends up becoming very narrow. :\ It sucks for me especially because I'm already very introverted as it is. Obviously this isn't always the case with everyone on there, but I'm just some speaking from what I've experiened. GAHHHHH. I just want a LTR. Is that so hard to ask for? lol
I know exactly what you mean! I just want a boyfriend I can cuddle with and hold hands with xD

It's def too much to ask for these days I guess

Just a PokéCommunity observation I'd like to make!

I was so impressed by the option of genderqueer on gender! It really made me feel that much more comfortable knowing that this must be a very accepting site when I first registered!

So kudos to PokéCommunity!:D
Trainer Name: Jordin
Pokemon Y

Team: (The Cute & The Fluffy)

Paris- Female Furfrou
Sam- Male Togekiss
Blueberry- Female Altaria
Logan- Male Flareon
Ramchop IV- Female Ampharos
Mademoiselle- Female Gardevoir (MEGA) (SHINY)
  #4120    
Old August 20th, 2013 (12:39 PM).
Kiriyuuki Kasuna's Avatar
Kiriyuuki Kasuna Kiriyuuki Kasuna is offline
&lt;b&gt;&lt;i&gt;&lt;font color=&quot;#979C1F&quot;&gt;Insert Purpose of Meaning&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/i&gt;&lt;/b&gt;
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Age: 22
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Moriarteh. View Post
It's amazingly weird, because I don't remember if I ever joined this club xD If I didn't, I'd like to!
Renee, you did you forgetful girl, here ya go for remembrance sakes:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Moriarteh. View Post
Ta, I would love to be a part of this, y'know

Eh, I live through the stance that if I'm attracted to someone romantically and physically, I don't particularly care what gender they identify as ~

Now, I'm not one to follow "guidelines", but if I were to use the terms you've listed on the front page, I'd say that I was pansexual xD

Also, PC is very LGBT friendly if anyone hasn't noticed yet, so yay? :D <3
" I Want You to Need me, could you do that for me? "

~Mei Aihara, CITRUS BY SABURO UTA


Partner N'Crime
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  #4121    
Old August 20th, 2013 (3:30 PM).
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Jasper Jasper is offline
C'mere, brat
 
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Nature: Brave
Posts: 1,757
Soooo who's recently gotten dumped? *raises hand*
  #4122    
Old August 20th, 2013 (6:13 PM).
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Songbird Songbird is offline
RPT's resident fanfic & smut writer.
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Age: 22
Gender: Female
Posts: 456
I should really post more in here.

Anyways, as many of you here may not know, I'm trans (MtF, pre-everything). Even though I'm not transitioning at the moment (I'm too much of a wuss to outright tell my mother), I've been doing various things over the past six or seven years to help me look more girly. I've grown my hair out (and it's now currently just past my shoulders due to donating much of it some time ago), I stopped a nasty nail-biting habit by way of painting and filing, and I was blessed with a generally feminine figure.

Today was the best of these past years, between school troubles and my mother's emotional abuse, as I got ma'am'd, even while dressed in cargo pants and a loose T-shirt. I couldn't be happier, for hopefully obvious reasons, and now my mother is confused as to why I don't mind being called a girl. She's started making jokes (after a short insistence that I shouldn't feel complimented over being called a girl), but not in a mean manner.

I feel like I should be able to tell her soon, but I still can't find the courage necessary to do so without breaking down since her reaction is too unpredictable. T_T
  #4123    
Old August 22nd, 2013 (9:38 AM).
Psycho Yuffie's Avatar
Psycho Yuffie Psycho Yuffie is offline
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Minnesota, USA
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Nature: Quirky
Posts: 44
Songbird, I know how it is. I waited until I was 26 to come out to my parents because I was a giant coward. Telling my parents was the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my entire life thus far. Here's the thing, though: waiting doesn't make it any easier and there's no such thing as waiting for a "good time." Eventually you'll realize that you need to just bite the bullet and go for it. Here's the unfortunate thing: when someone is just homosexual, they don't have a time limit but trans people do. Every single day that goes by, hormones do more irreversible damage. It sucks, but it's the truth.
  #4124    
Old August 22nd, 2013 (9:41 AM).
Kanzler's Avatar
Kanzler Kanzler is online now
naughty biscotti
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Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Toronto
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I wouldn't call it damage though. People aren't usually ready, although you will never be ready.
  #4125    
Old August 22nd, 2013 (11:24 AM).
Psycho Yuffie's Avatar
Psycho Yuffie Psycho Yuffie is offline
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Minnesota, USA
Age: 31
Gender: Female
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BlahISuck View Post
I wouldn't call it damage though. People aren't usually ready, although you will never be ready.
In terms of transgender people, it is damage. We're talking about undesirable physical changes. You may be okay with having big muscles, body hair, and a deep voice, but it isn't pleasant for trans women.
 
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