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  #26    
Old August 18th, 2013, 05:23 PM
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So I finally got the full truth out from her. I don't care about what she does with her boyfriend. Let me get that out of the way. If I seemed like I did, then that would be because this was the same girl who I let get away. Sorry. But that's not my point, really.

As for the situation with this "thing" that my friend might tell her sister, apparently it's just the very fact that she's in a relationship. Brown problems. Apparently, she's legit afraid that if her mother finds out (and according to her, she was there with her sister when my friend talked to her [and said some really... harsh stuff]). All of that is paranoia on her part, and it's something I've convinced her to not worry about. That being said, I told her to talk with the guy just in case, and she's made steps to do just that. None of that really has anything to do with my problem, though.

My issue here is the fact that I know about her showering with her boyfriend (assuming they did. Rumors for ya). It's not a "holy ****, she did that" sort of issue. Cause her life isn't my problem. The only reason I said I was disappointed is because before the relationship, she made a huge deal about "no dating" and that she wasn't that kind of girl, yet she caved despite what she said. And I guess my disappointment also comes from the fact that the same girl who I figured to be so... innocent? ended up just being... well, who she is. If I'm honest with myself, I might as well add that I never made my move because I thought she was sure of her ways. Again, tangent, and not what I'm trying to focus on.

The main issue that I had (had) wasn't the rumor, but the origination of it. It seems to who have stemmed from this friend of hers who I'd always imagined to be her brother. That's it. In the end, I just decided to shut my trap cause, hey, not my problem.

Yeah, pointless post was pointless. Too much ****ing drama.

this is also the same girl i cried over on the last day of school. so give me a break if i sound jealous or whatever
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  #27    
Old August 18th, 2013, 05:41 PM
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Can I get some advice about colleges?

I live in Arkansas, and from what I've gathered, there are generally two types of colleges around here: expensive, 20k colleges and party colleges. I actually really, really want to go to Lyon, but $20k is way out of my range; if I want to go to college, I have to pay for it with financial aid, because I am flat out broke. I have a 29 on my ACT, which should pay off most lower universities, but I'm wondering if any of you know personally which colleges in the area have a generally hard working populace, but won't beat you with a rule book if you occasionally go to a party or something.

Another thing I really want to know about is, if all else should fail, what about colleges in Canada? I don't have family up there anymore, but all my uncles who lived there really enjoyed it, and I've heard tuition is much cheaper. What I don't know is, do ACTs transfer across national boundaries, or would I have to take the SAT? If the latter, would it be worth it?

Sorry I'm so long winded. U wU I'm just frazzing out about it.
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  #28    
Old August 19th, 2013, 09:19 AM
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So I just wrote this paragraph for my amazing girlfriend and I have never wrote anything like tbis before and woukd just like some feedback on it "

"Hey baby boo <3

When I met you, I never thought that we would ever be together, I instantly thought "that girl is too perfect for me*. You're funny, beautiful, incredible and too perfect to put into words. I don't know how I got you, maybe luck, I don't know. But what I do know is that I am happy that I am with you, and nobody else. My heart skips a beat when I think of you, and I get butterflies when I talk to you. And when I heard you singing...I melted inside. Your voice is angellic. You are angellic. Like a gift from heaven. When I talk to you, I can't help but smile, and when we're not talking, I can't help but think of you. I long for the day when we can actually be together, cuddling and kissing and doing cute stuff together. I don't know what I would do without you in my life. I love you more than words could ever explain. My heart beats for you, and only you. No other girls catch my eye any more because I already have perfection in my life. My mind goes all coo-coo when you tell how i'm perfect, when I know i'm not. But I still love it when you say i'm perfect. You're my girlfriend, and also the bestest friend I could ever ask for. I love you Grace, more than anyone or anything in the world. <3<3<3<3 :* "
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Last edited by Proud To Be A Brony; August 19th, 2013 at 09:20 AM. Reason: Your double post has been automatically merged.
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  #29    
Old August 19th, 2013, 09:26 AM
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If you wrote this for your girlfriend, it's from the heart and from you.. and I don't think we have any business in coming in to critique your wording on your feelings.. after all, only you can decide if you think those are the right words and phrases to express your love.

Sorry, I don't see the point in offering you my feedback.. but maybe others will disagree and will want to fix your grammar, sentence structure, etc.
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  #30    
Old August 19th, 2013, 09:35 AM
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I can kinda see your point haha. But with this being the first time I ever wrote something like this, I just wanted to get feedback on it and stuff " heheh. Thanks anyway ^-^
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  #31    
Old August 19th, 2013, 09:40 AM
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Originally Posted by Vertigo View Post
godbless free wifi

So I finally got the full truth out from her. I don't care about what she does with her boyfriend. Let me get that out of the way. If I seemed like I did, then that would be because this was the same girl who I let get away. Sorry. But that's not my point, really.

As for the situation with this "thing" that my friend might tell her sister, apparently it's just the very fact that she's in a relationship. Brown problems. Apparently, she's legit afraid that if her mother finds out (and according to her, she was there with her sister when my friend talked to her [and said some really... harsh stuff]). All of that is paranoia on her part, and it's something I've convinced her to not worry about. That being said, I told her to talk with the guy just in case, and she's made steps to do just that. None of that really has anything to do with my problem, though.

My issue here is the fact that I know about her showering with her boyfriend (assuming they did. Rumors for ya). It's not a "holy ****, she did that" sort of issue. Cause her life isn't my problem. The only reason I said I was disappointed is because before the relationship, she made a huge deal about "no dating" and that she wasn't that kind of girl, yet she caved despite what she said. And I guess my disappointment also comes from the fact that the same girl who I figured to be so... innocent? ended up just being... well, who she is. If I'm honest with myself, I might as well add that I never made my move because I thought she was sure of her ways. Again, tangent, and not what I'm trying to focus on.

The main issue that I had (had) wasn't the rumor, but the origination of it. It seems to who have stemmed from this friend of hers who I'd always imagined to be her brother. That's it. In the end, I just decided to shut my trap cause, hey, not my problem.

Yeah, pointless post was pointless. Too much ****ing drama.

this is also the same girl i cried over on the last day of school. so give me a break if i sound jealous or whatever
I can tell you are a bit jealous honestly.. and also.. you need to realize that people change. When we are 10, we all think "ewww.. kissing boys, gross!"
I still don't really see a problem here. I understand you want to be a hero in this situation because this is the girl you fell for (and you're probably denying you still have feelings for even now) and so yeah you care... but this is between her, her family, and her other guy friend. All you can do in this situation is be someone for her to vent to, but I don't recommend getting involved in her relationship and family matters. I recommend also not getting so involved emotionally in other peoples' problems, especially with a situation you should not set into.


Sinful, I am not sure about Colleges in the US, but just by going to college internationally you are spending about 20K extra (sometimes PER YEAR) for the same course. I recommend staying in your state unless you get a scholarship or sponsorship to go over to Canada, or if you get accepted into an amazing school which guarantees you like a great paying job upon graduation.
(I know some friends who took my college degree course and they were paying about 26 grand a year while I paid 7-8 not including books, supplies, etc.)
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  #32    
Old August 19th, 2013, 09:49 AM
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Originally Posted by Kura View Post
If you wrote this for your girlfriend, it's from the heart and from you.. and I don't think we have any business in coming in to critique your wording on your feelings.. after all, only you can decide if you think those are the right words and phrases to express your love.

Sorry, I don't see the point in offering you my feedback.. but maybe others will disagree and will want to fix your grammar, sentence structure, etc.
i can see that you want us to tell you how we feel about it, but it's all on your thoughts and feelings. our opinions wouldn't help. it's cute tho!
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  #33    
Old August 19th, 2013, 10:05 AM
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I can see that now ^-^" heheh. Thanks
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  #34    
Old August 19th, 2013, 10:19 AM
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Originally Posted by Vertigo View Post
godbless free wifi

So I finally got the full truth out from her. I don't care about what she does with her boyfriend. Let me get that out of the way. If I seemed like I did, then that would be because this was the same girl who I let get away. Sorry. But that's not my point, really.

As for the situation with this "thing" that my friend might tell her sister, apparently it's just the very fact that she's in a relationship. Brown problems. Apparently, she's legit afraid that if her mother finds out (and according to her, she was there with her sister when my friend talked to her [and said some really... harsh stuff]). All of that is paranoia on her part, and it's something I've convinced her to not worry about. That being said, I told her to talk with the guy just in case, and she's made steps to do just that. None of that really has anything to do with my problem, though.

My issue here is the fact that I know about her showering with her boyfriend (assuming they did. Rumors for ya). It's not a "holy ****, she did that" sort of issue. Cause her life isn't my problem. The only reason I said I was disappointed is because before the relationship, she made a huge deal about "no dating" and that she wasn't that kind of girl, yet she caved despite what she said. And I guess my disappointment also comes from the fact that the same girl who I figured to be so... innocent? ended up just being... well, who she is. If I'm honest with myself, I might as well add that I never made my move because I thought she was sure of her ways. Again, tangent, and not what I'm trying to focus on.

The main issue that I had (had) wasn't the rumor, but the origination of it. It seems to who have stemmed from this friend of hers who I'd always imagined to be her brother. That's it. In the end, I just decided to shut my trap cause, hey, not my problem.

Yeah, pointless post was pointless. Too much ****ing drama.

this is also the same girl i cried over on the last day of school. so give me a break if i sound jealous or whatever
People shower with each other all the time. Drakow constantly asks me to shower with him but I am yet to take the opportunity.

Okay serious point now, if she showered with a guy that was considered her boyfriend then you hypothetically expect the worst in your mind that they made of done something more than "just showering." You're probably hurt that she didn't have a shower with you and that's okay, I wish hot girls would shower with me all the time..even though I'm more of a bath kinda of guy. I dunno usually in a shower my legs never get warmed up but in a bath they sure do and that just feels great for me especially after a good work out when my legs are aching.

Girls may normally lie if they don't like you and say stuff like "oh I'm a ****, you're better off without me" or "I'm not ready" or my personal favourite that I have experienced "I don't like guys, I'm a lesbian" and then 2 months later she is dating a guy again !

If you can't trust her because of this and how she acts, then that's fair enough but you should move on and find a girl who likes you for who you are and you like her for who she is etc.
If she's a good friend then keep her but if her friendship is just causing you drama and unnecessary pain then loosing her friendship and not seeing her as often would help you get over her completely.

You'll feel free and a new man !

Now on the subject of colleges I have no idea where you should study or what you should study, just be prepared to be in debt and make sure you're ready to work your ass off.
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  #35    
Old August 19th, 2013, 10:42 AM
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People shower with each other all the time. Drakow constantly asks me to shower with him but I am yet to take the opportunity.
Omg I'm gonna kick the **** out of you at training tonight!

But Vertigo, girls are full of crap seriously. Not all of them, but I think a lot of them are. They say one thing then X amount of time later they'll contradict themselves and they won't even give a **** or even realize! Seriously, whenever it happens to me, I'm just like '****ing ****** ass women logic'. Don't waste your time complaining about **** you can't even change. March forward steadily and you'll be fine.
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  #36    
Old August 19th, 2013, 02:46 PM
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What did I just read. Who the hell calls their girlfriend "baby boo" ? Is that something out of dragonball Z "Baby kidd buu ?"
Okay we get the message, you love your girlfriend but seriously you don't need to go into all this detail to show or say how much you love her.
The heart skipping beats and butterflies sounds so cliche. I kinda hate talking about feelings like this, it just seems everything has been said or done. It just seems cringe worthy to me. Some people will generally take what you have produced here and be like "awwwwwwwwww...." and others like me will go "okay..cringe worthy". Girls love simplicity and maybe just saying a few simple words or remembering something romantic and showing her will do the trick.
Maybe take her out to where you first met, show her pictures of when you first got together or something she really likes that you enjoy together and write a simple message on it.
You are her man and you should know what she likes...so it's up to you !

No need to re-sight a sonnet or a love poem.
Oh ._. Well she is kinda my first girlfriend. And me and her have never met in person. Soooo yeah :L
And thanks...I guess :/
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  #37    
Old August 19th, 2013, 03:20 PM
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Originally Posted by SupernovaTyphlosion View Post
Oh ._. Well she is kinda my first girlfriend. And me and her have never met in person. Soooo yeah :L
And thanks...I guess :/
Like I said earlier, you should tell her what you feel is right to say. If Renpuu thinks it's tacky or whatever, then let him. Like he said, some people will find it cringe-worthy (like him) and others will think it's cute. I think nicknames are cute, and I think poems are really thoughtful. But what really matters is how your girlfriend will take it. If she's super serious and hates poetry, she might laugh and say thanks, or maybe she'll love it and frame it. After all, you know her best, and you can choose any way that you want to express your feelings to her of course!!
I'm a girl and not all of us just like "simplicity," so I don't think Renpuu can truly generalize. I'm the type of person who values thought over just throwing a wad of cash over a dinner table, or being bought a drink, so maybe that's why.. but I think any girl regardless of if she's picky or not should (and most likely would, if she cares for you) appreciate the effort you made to say what you have.

And poem or no poem, if you want to call your girlfriend baby boo, you're entirely entitled to do such and shouldn't be ridiculed for it. I have inside jokes and nicknames for me too, and I like them. Again, it's your relationship, and I don't think anyone has the right to critique truly, unless there is an aspect in the relationship that would be harming you or your partner.
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  #38    
Old August 19th, 2013, 05:54 PM
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Like I said earlier, you should tell her what you feel is right to say. If Renpuu thinks it's tacky or whatever, then let him. Like he said, some people will find it cringe-worthy (like him) and others will think it's cute. I think nicknames are cute, and I think poems are really thoughtful. But what really matters is how your girlfriend will take it. If she's super serious and hates poetry, she might laugh and say thanks, or maybe she'll love it and frame it. After all, you know her best, and you can choose any way that you want to express your feelings to her of course!!
I'm a girl and not all of us just like "simplicity," so I don't think Renpuu can truly generalize. I'm the type of person who values thought over just throwing a wad of cash over a dinner table, or being bought a drink, so maybe that's why.. but I think any girl regardless of if she's picky or not should (and most likely would, if she cares for you) appreciate the effort you made to say what you have.


And poem or no poem, if you want to call your girlfriend baby boo, you're entirely entitled to do such and shouldn't be ridiculed for it. I have inside jokes and nicknames for me too, and I like them. Again, it's your relationship, and I don't think anyone has the right to critique truly, unless there is an aspect in the relationship that would be harming you or your partner.
Firstly I would like to say thank you very much for that
Secondly, thank you very much for that xD
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  #39    
Old August 20th, 2013, 11:56 AM
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I did not mean to be rude, I do apologise. I got a warning for that post X_X !
I agree knowing what girlfriend will do the trick but sometimes if you really have no idea, basic/simple things will usually work out better than trying to something complicated on the spot craziness.
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  #40    
Old August 20th, 2013, 12:54 PM
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Hey guys, wondering if you could help me with a problem I'm having.

I'm going to be a sophomore in college next Monday, and I'm feeling pretty down. I'm excited to see my new dorm (I have no roommate this year, which is AWESOME) and I can't wait to start class and my new job, but I'm scared of meeting my fellow Coyotes this year. I guess the reasons are superficial, but they're a big problem for me.

I live in a small town filled with extremely attractive people, but I'm not one of them. I'm 200lbs (I'm working on it) and I'm definitely one of the least-pretty girls on campus. I hate seeing how I compare to other girls because it makes me realize just how physically ugly I am. It's embarrassing. Yes, I do have a couple friends, and a boyfriend of one year, but still—I'm embarrassed to go out in public, and classes are going to be hell for me. I don't understand why I was made so ugly while others were made beautiful and perfect, but I guess there's nothing I can do about that.

My question is, what should I do to be less worried about starting college again? I'm never comfortable being in public (haven't since I moved to Arizona 12 years ago, the worst decision my parents ever made) and it's going to be so hard for me to get out and enjoy college with the body and face I was cursed with. Any suggestions?
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Old August 21st, 2013, 01:38 AM
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Hey guys, wondering if you could help me with a problem I'm having.

I'm going to be a sophomore in college next Monday, and I'm feeling pretty down. I'm excited to see my new dorm (I have no roommate this year, which is AWESOME) and I can't wait to start class and my new job, but I'm scared of meeting my fellow Coyotes this year. I guess the reasons are superficial, but they're a big problem for me.

I live in a small town filled with extremely attractive people, but I'm not one of them. I'm 200lbs (I'm working on it) and I'm definitely one of the least-pretty girls on campus. I hate seeing how I compare to other girls because it makes me realize just how physically ugly I am. It's embarrassing. Yes, I do have a couple friends, and a boyfriend of one year, but still—I'm embarrassed to go out in public, and classes are going to be hell for me. I don't understand why I was made so ugly while others were made beautiful and perfect, but I guess there's nothing I can do about that.

My question is, what should I do to be less worried about starting college again? I'm never comfortable being in public (haven't since I moved to Arizona 12 years ago, the worst decision my parents ever made) and it's going to be so hard for me to get out and enjoy college with the body and face I was cursed with. Any suggestions?

You need to stop telling yourself that your ugly for starters. Stop thinking about what other people are thinking about you, their opinions don't mean a damn thing. Worrying about other's opinions is just going to destroy your self esteem and confidence. You'll need that confidence to push yourself outside of your comfort zone and get comfortable with your body. The mind can be one hell of a thing, you'd be suprised in how much it can hold you back in life.

For instance, I'm a terrible runner. Always have been. I'm a skinny guy, but I always thought that pain you feel in your side when you run is the worst pain in the world. When I went through basic combat training for the army my very first run time was 25 minutes for a 2 mile run, I needed to run in 16 minutes to pass. Well 7 weeks go by of training, at this point I was able to knock off pushups and situps like crazy, but I was running my 2 miles in 18 minutes, still not passing and the next day was our PT test. Well next day comes by, during the PT test I kept telling myself that I can't fail this test, if I do then it will be another 2-3 months before I see my family. Ended up scoring a 15:45 on that test, passed.

So what's the point of my boring story? Well that day I realized that it was all in my head. I was physically capable of running, but I kept telling myself that I couldn't. It's the same with your situation. If you keep telling yourself that your ugly, then you'll believe it. But, if you tell yourself that your pretty, and truly believe it. Then I guarentee you'll see something else in that mirror. Now, I'm not saying that believing in yourself is going to make you pretty, but it is a start.
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  #42    
Old August 21st, 2013, 02:22 PM
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Agreeing with Kyrul here. Also, sadly we live in a society that automatically puts pressure onto those who aren't stick insects and it's terrible- but you have to say to yourself that well... why would you want to let a comparison get in the way of you living your life? And attractiveness is very much personal opinion.
I say stop with the comparing and focus on you. Focus on living your life and focus on the fun and good times. I don't believe anyone was "made ugly" because once you hit a certain age, you realize that beauty isn't in the way someone looks, but in their heart and their intentions and how they carry themselves. And there is a lot that molds you into the way you are today (even posture will make a difference in your appearance!) Yeah I know that sounds a bit tacky, but I've also been through self esteem issues (I also used to be overweight, have skin conditions, was mocked when I was younger, and I'm even now mocked because I'm only 4'10".. and that I REALLY can't change about myself.) but why should I let that affect the way I want to live? I think you need to change your outlook, but I understand your frustration of wanting to be sexy or beautiful. Try and tone the comparing down, and even throw some of the jealousy aside, and focus on you and what IS good about you (heck I can already say you are humble and present yourself through words very well, already, and I am sure there is more good about you too) and if there are things you dislike, then you should experiment with them! (Try a different style or things with your hair or do your nails, etc.) Find little things that make you feel pretty, and DON'T say "oh well ___ has better ___ than me so what's the point in putting in the effort?" YOU are the point. So yes, put in the effort to feel good about yourself. Knock down those mental boundaries.

Anyways, I recommend you might see if your college offers an on-site therapist to help you with social anxiety. If you're worried about your weight, then take steps to either be accepting of it, or change it.

As Kyrul says, it's mostly in the mind. And heck, I am sure your boyfriend and family think you are a beautiful girl, no doubt. And honestly, if someone else were in your position on how you feel.. what would you tell them?

It's difficult to try and build confidence but try and do so through YOURSELF and your accomplishments and feeling good about YOU rather than trying to build confidence through other peoples' positive comments, because you will end up holding those comments to more regard than they are actually worth.

Good luck and feel free to write in here again if you are still troubled.
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  #43    
Old August 21st, 2013, 03:14 PM
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I agree with the above posts (Kura and Kyrul) that thinking too much on negativity will only bring you down. If you have good friends, family and a boyfriend then you must be doing something right to keep them around in your life. You can chose what attitude and what you want to do with your life but you can't chose what skin colour and height you may end up being. I was blessed with having a tall farther so I naturally inherited his height.
Being "short" or being "fat" is considered a bad thing, but I don't feel there is anything wrong with being short because you're born tall or short and that's just the way it is.
If a girl has a bit of meat to her then that's nice, but I don't feel being obese is good for anyone it just puts more strain on your joints and organs X_X !
You can chose to lose weight and exercise and if you're working on that then stick to it ! I wish you luck loosing the weight !
I eat like a horse and I am blessed to not put on much weight but I used to struggle to gain weight, so I can see how it can be a struggle to lose weight !
Also being short does have it's advantages...we proved if Kura was taken hostage she would make a very poor meat-shield for her assailant if he was my height, meaning he could easily be shot and she would survive !
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  #44    
Old August 21st, 2013, 03:42 PM
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Broken_Arrow
Paper plane~
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Dragons Nest~
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Nature: Careful
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There is no ugly girl.. beauty is a matter of opinion..you might see yourself ugly but others can see you beautiful....don't be afraid just be yourself and love the way you look cuz it's you...i think you're a brave girl tbh ;3

I understand how you feel when it comes to being uncomfortable in public cuz i went through the same..but there is nothing to make you worry about just breath and inside your head keep saying everything is okay because it is....Love yourself,gurl..don't be too harsh on you!

if you want to lose weight go for it care less about people more about yourself!! i hope you feel better though ^.^
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Old August 23rd, 2013, 12:42 PM
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The Dark Avenger
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: US of Eh
Age: 22
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Originally Posted by SinfulGuroRose View Post
Can I get some advice about colleges?

I live in Arkansas, and from what I've gathered, there are generally two types of colleges around here: expensive, 20k colleges and party colleges. I actually really, really want to go to Lyon, but $20k is way out of my range; if I want to go to college, I have to pay for it with financial aid, because I am flat out broke. I have a 29 on my ACT, which should pay off most lower universities, but I'm wondering if any of you know personally which colleges in the area have a generally hard working populace, but won't beat you with a rule book if you occasionally go to a party or something.

Another thing I really want to know about is, if all else should fail, what about colleges in Canada? I don't have family up there anymore, but all my uncles who lived there really enjoyed it, and I've heard tuition is much cheaper. What I don't know is, do ACTs transfer across national boundaries, or would I have to take the SAT? If the latter, would it be worth it?

Sorry I'm so long winded. U wU I'm just frazzing out about it.
Don't worry. In the US, accredited schools (don't go anywhere unaccredited) will accept either ACT and/or SAT scores when factoring in both your acceptance and financial aid offers.

A 29 is great!!! That is in the 93 percentile!!! You should be very proud. I scored a 28, accredited universities offered anywhere from 25-100% off, and I went to a more local state university to lower costs of living/housing and essentially receive free tuition/housing; as long as it was a state university, I was fine. Like you, I didn't have any finances, and I didn't want to accrue any debts with heavy student loans.

Depending upon your GPA, intended major, and high school courses, you may receive full-funding, if not substantial funding, like 75%. A smaller loan at a good university is worth more than free school at a community college as far as investments go.

What was your GPA and Highschool course load like?
So far, you seemed to be in great shape for financial aid offers.

Quote:
Originally Posted by SupernovaTyphlosion View Post
So I just wrote this paragraph for my amazing girlfriend and I have never wrote anything like tbis before and woukd just like some feedback on it "

"Hey baby boo <3

When I met you, I never thought that we would ever be together, I instantly thought "that girl is too perfect for me*. You're funny, beautiful, incredible and too perfect to put into words. I don't know how I got you, maybe luck, I don't know. But what I do know is that I am happy that I am with you, and nobody else. My heart skips a beat when I think of you, and I get butterflies when I talk to you. And when I heard you singing...I melted inside. Your voice is angellic. You are angellic. Like a gift from heaven. When I talk to you, I can't help but smile, and when we're not talking, I can't help but think of you. I long for the day when we can actually be together, cuddling and kissing and doing cute stuff together. I don't know what I would do without you in my life. I love you more than words could ever explain. My heart beats for you, and only you. No other girls catch my eye any more because I already have perfection in my life. My mind goes all coo-coo when you tell how i'm perfect, when I know i'm not. But I still love it when you say i'm perfect. You're my girlfriend, and also the bestest friend I could ever ask for. I love you Grace, more than anyone or anything in the world. <3<3<3<3 :* "
Take this advice with a grain of salt. It might seem cold and heartless, but I am only telling you this from experience as well as reflection upon those experiences.

Long-distance online relationships are setup to fail. Beyond the importance of "is that what this person really looks like" of which popular media and shows like Catfish seem to emphasize most, there exists more troubling issues about who the person is aside from their physical appearance, which can be verified fairly simple with skype.

The issues are, people, including ourselves, want to present the best self they can. They often don't act as they would normally. Additionally, things that can be typed in a text or spoken into a phone may not reflect how we would express ourselves otherwise, in person. Let me tell you, the idea of the person is what we fall in love with, not the actual person. Words like, "I love you" are thrown around much easier and quicker in the online arena given how easy they are to type as oppose to utter in person. This can be dangerous to someone's self-esteem and emotions if the emotions are not legitimate once in-person. Just like we see more opinionated, confident, hateful, among other emotive speech online than we do in real life, simply because there exists that security of anonymity. It's almost like playing Sims online, we may be ourselves to a certain extent, but we cannot pick up on certain body languages or get a clear idea of who this person and how they react with others besides ourselves, we love the idea of the relationship, but it hasn't faced actual trials that couples face in real life. Lastly, it's the false information, that transcends physical appearance, that may be very troublesome. For instance, how do you this person is attending this or that college, has this or that job, is single, does or doesn't have kids, ect.? I would say, either meet this person and decide how you feel then so you can move on with your life whether it be strengthening that relationship or moving on with your life. I would just hold off on the emotional investment until then.

With all of that said, you are only 17! Be careful with any decisions you make.
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Last edited by The Dark Avenger; August 23rd, 2013 at 08:26 PM. Reason: Your double post has been automatically merged.
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  #46    
Old August 26th, 2013, 05:15 PM
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@ dark eco
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Alabama
Age: 22
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Ew, mushy lovey advice.

Anyway, ugh I hate that I'm actually using this thread for something like this, but I'm really at a loss here and I'd like more a general answer than the ones I've gotten from specific people that I know really well.

1. Is it considered weird to talk to someone for the first time over Facebook, or should I keep pushing for face to face conversation? Like, actually carry a conversation. The "Hi, I'm so-and-so" I've had with them doesn't count as talking. I have social anxiety so talking to people isn't my forte, especially when I'm the one that is gonna have to take the first step here.

2. This is mainly aimed at guys, but girls can answer too really. Do you think it's weird when girls take initiative in talking to someone and making the moves? Does it come off as creepy or trying too hard or something? I've just generally noticed that guys tend to think that when girls try to get close to a guy, they're crazy or weird or psycho, but if a guy does it, it seems to be totally fine and cute. idk. I'm at a loss here. lol

I really can't believe I'm using this thread for this omg. v_v Good thing no one I know irl goes here.
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  #47    
Old August 26th, 2013, 06:20 PM
Kanzler
スペースディスコ ��82.
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Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Toronto
Age: 21
Gender: Male
Nature: Relaxed
2: NOOOOOOOOOO! I think it's sweet when the girl makes the first move, but that spoils me. Also, I think it's creepy for me to do anything so ehh I guess
Quote:
but if a guy does it, it seems to be totally fine and cute
means I should be making moves? Hmmm.
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  #48    
Old August 26th, 2013, 08:03 PM
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Lance
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Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Blackthorn City
Gender: Male
Nature: Adamant
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sydian View Post
Ew, mushy lovey advice.

Anyway, ugh I hate that I'm actually using this thread for something like this, but I'm really at a loss here and I'd like more a general answer than the ones I've gotten from specific people that I know really well.

1. Is it considered weird to talk to someone for the first time over Facebook, or should I keep pushing for face to face conversation? Like, actually carry a conversation. The "Hi, I'm so-and-so" I've had with them doesn't count as talking. I have social anxiety so talking to people isn't my forte, especially when I'm the one that is gonna have to take the first step here.

2. This is mainly aimed at guys, but girls can answer too really. Do you think it's weird when girls take initiative in talking to someone and making the moves? Does it come off as creepy or trying too hard or something? I've just generally noticed that guys tend to think that when girls try to get close to a guy, they're crazy or weird or psycho, but if a guy does it, it seems to be totally fine and cute. idk. I'm at a loss here. lol
1. You could do both, but I really think it would be beneficial for you to focus on some face-to-face conversations and interactions.

2. I personally don't think it's weird, half the time I wish the girls would initiate things. And I only think it comes across as trying too hard or creepy if you were to really force the issue. Be subtle at first, and gradually ease into a higher level of interaction. Nice and slow.
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  #49    
Old August 27th, 2013, 04:01 AM
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Sweets Witch
I just love ham jerky.
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Old People Community, USA
Age: 21
Gender: Male
Nature: Adamant
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sydian View Post
Ew, mushy lovey advice.

Anyway, ugh I hate that I'm actually using this thread for something like this, but I'm really at a loss here and I'd like more a general answer than the ones I've gotten from specific people that I know really well.

1. Is it considered weird to talk to someone for the first time over Facebook, or should I keep pushing for face to face conversation? Like, actually carry a conversation. The "Hi, I'm so-and-so" I've had with them doesn't count as talking. I have social anxiety so talking to people isn't my forte, especially when I'm the one that is gonna have to take the first step here.

2. This is mainly aimed at guys, but girls can answer too really. Do you think it's weird when girls take initiative in talking to someone and making the moves? Does it come off as creepy or trying too hard or something? I've just generally noticed that guys tend to think that when girls try to get close to a guy, they're crazy or weird or psycho, but if a guy does it, it seems to be totally fine and cute. idk. I'm at a loss here. lol

I really can't believe I'm using this thread for this omg. v_v Good thing no one I know irl goes here.
1: Personally, I'd recommend Facebook first since you could use it to segue into real-life interactions. Sooner or later you'll end up doing both, but it'd be much easier to get the ball rolling on Facebook. You're not a stranger to this person since you've gotten your introduction out of the way so you won't be working from scratch. It'll be a cinch.

2: Nah, it's not weird or creepy unless the actions themselves are weird or creepy. Initiating conversations and arranging get-togethers are good beginnings, but nailing confessions to his front door or burning your name in his yard might be a little too...Well, just don't do that.
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Old September 11th, 2013, 01:15 PM
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Renpuu
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Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: United Kingdom
Age: 24
Gender: Male
Girls need to make the first move more often ! Just go for it..he'll think it's his lucky day !
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