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  #251    
Old August 24th, 2013, 08:16 AM
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Again you have my thanks.
Could you point them out as well? I would be grateful.
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  #252    
Old August 24th, 2013, 09:03 AM
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YellowGardevoir
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Sure, lemme see what I can do.

Quote:
He doesn't spar or talk since he does other thing in his time and he's is also very confident. From childhood he never knew anyone just himself as he grew on the streets. At early age he trained with metal so he could train his sword arm.
All three of these sentences need some work.

Quote:
He has worked with bandits only to defeat them in the end for his job. But despite this he is very humble and does not take items like money because people need it more than him. More on full moons he likes to walk outside and makes his own food. He is claustrophobic and fear of people in large crowds.
These also need work.
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  #253    
Old August 24th, 2013, 09:11 AM
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Better? I like this edit.
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  #254    
Old August 24th, 2013, 10:36 AM
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Better. I hate to be a stickler, but the problem still remains.

Quote:
But despite, this he is very humble and does not take items like money because people need it more than him. On full moons he likes to walk outside and makes his own food. He is claustrophobic and fear of people in large crowds.
Misplaced comma in the first sentence. It should either come after this or not be there at all. "he" is needed after and in the second sentence. "has a" is needed after and in the third sentence.

Quote:
His greatest triumphs are defeating bandit hordes,defeating arenas by himself.
You need an "and" after the comma.

Quote:
Though Shadow seeks the shepherds so he could see what power they had.
Still not a complete sentence, I've pointed this out before.

I do hate to give you homework on the weekend, but this is necessary stuff. Also, good grammar will be required in posts made in the IC thread.
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  #255    
Old August 24th, 2013, 11:02 AM
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It is no bother to me. I'm not good at catching these things believe me.
Thanks though.
Edit:I have made the changes.

Anything else? Any more feedback?
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Last edited by Shadowhawkfrost; August 24th, 2013 at 02:32 PM. Reason: Your double post has been automatically merged.
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  #256    
Old August 24th, 2013, 04:20 PM
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That'll do! Welcome to the group.

As far as IC posting goes, try to come up with a way to insert yourself. Alternatively, you can wait until we begin Chapter 2.
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  #257    
Old August 24th, 2013, 04:35 PM
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Thanks! Yeah chapter 2. I'll pro

Thanks! Yeah chapter 2. I'll probably do that.
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Last edited by Shadowhawkfrost; August 24th, 2013 at 04:35 PM. Reason: Your double post has been automatically merged.
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  #258    
Old August 28th, 2013, 03:51 PM
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Hey everybody, posted. Sorry for taking so long on getting that up.

Lets all get some good posts up so we can progress to Chapter 2!
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  #259    
Old August 28th, 2013, 09:05 PM
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I don't know if I should wait for Nideous to post or not...

Actually, I just thought of something. Do you think I (or anyone, really) would be able to post for Nideous?
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  #260    
Old August 29th, 2013, 01:12 AM
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Well, that would technically be bunnying, which is against the Pokecommunity rules. However, I would allow it if Nideous said that you could, and if what you write is what he would have done anyway. Stuff like that is awkward though, and as a generaly rule its better to stay away from it.
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  #261    
Old August 29th, 2013, 12:15 PM
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Alright. Did Nideous have any idea of when he'd be back?
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  #262    
Old August 29th, 2013, 05:06 PM
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Not to me. But from what I can glean from his main page is that he's really busy. I'll contact him as soon as I can, see what he says.
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  #263    
Old August 30th, 2013, 04:47 AM
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If it's alright with you guys, I'm just gonna wait for Chapter 2. I don't really know what to put in a post with Shinji.
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  #264    
Old August 30th, 2013, 05:11 AM
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kk. That's fine heretostay. We're just wrapping it up anyway.
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  #265    
Old August 31st, 2013, 04:14 PM
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Turns out, I didn't need to bunny Mason for my post (or maybe I very slightly did).

Posted!

(I also just noticed that Tarin is the only female in the entire RP o_0)
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  #266    
Old September 1st, 2013, 03:17 AM
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Hmmm. Well, hopefully when I start everyone getting their second characters we'll increase the number of female characters. Otherwise, I can see some awkward situations unfolding in the future...
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  #267    
Old September 1st, 2013, 08:22 PM
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As much as I love this RP, I was curious as too how many chapters we're expecting? I mean, we're still only on Chapter 1 and summer's already ended xD
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  #268    
Old September 2nd, 2013, 04:08 AM
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@darkpokeball- Well, I'm actually not sure. I have the plans for two or three more at least, but chapter one is taking much longer than I expected. Not to worry, Chapter Two will be much shorter, though I can't vouch for three (especially since I haven't worked all the details out.) Also, this is the first RP that I've GMed, and I'm not really sure how long these things typically last... But still, I'm glad you like it!
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  #269    
Old September 2nd, 2013, 04:21 AM
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I think the reason Chapter 1 is taking so long is that we had a wave of inactivity, and we were practically waiting on ghosts. Now, there are about 5? of us, and we can have a Super Elite force of like 5? guys!
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  #270    
Old September 2nd, 2013, 07:54 PM
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darkpokeball
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Yeah...Nokam, Cloff, Shinji, and Tarin seem to be the only ones mildly active...correct me if I'm wrong.
Should we just double-up characters? Like, some of us will bunny the inactive characters(Mason, for example) and the rest just create a 2nd character to be introduced later, just to help the plot flow and to help the story progress quicker?
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  #271    
Old September 2nd, 2013, 09:34 PM
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Well, Nideous is currently having family issues which explains his inactivity. And I'm pretty sure that SomariFeyWright is still interested in the RP.

And basically what heretostay said. I'm also willing to take some of the blame myself, as I did have quite a few periods of time in which I was inactive.

I've also just posted!
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Last edited by Dansparce; September 2nd, 2013 at 09:44 PM.
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  #272    
Old September 8th, 2013, 06:49 AM
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umm darkpokeball I think its your post next, you need to respond to Dansparce's post.
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  #273    
Old September 14th, 2013, 01:34 PM
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When is chapter 2? I would really like to know.
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  #274    
Old September 15th, 2013, 06:59 AM
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well....... We've hit a major dry spell. I'm considering using my magical GM powers of awesomeness to advance us to Chapter 2. Would everyone be alright with this?
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  #275    
Old September 16th, 2013, 04:10 PM
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I'm ok with it. just tell the others.
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