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Old October 13th, 2013 (08:26 AM). Edited December 4th, 2013 by TurtleKing.
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TurtleKing
Turtles > You
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
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ELITE ACADEMY


Overview
Spoiler:
Categories: Original, Action, Academy, Drama
Rating: Teen
Synopsis: Elite Academy is a story about a group of student Trainers and their experiences at the world's most renowned Pokemon academy. Amid the tests, battles, hardships, and victories, these students will learn life lessons that will help further them not only as Trainers but as citizens as well. What awaits you at Elite Academy? Enroll and find out!
Note: Chapters will be posted every Monday unless otherwise noted!


Character Profiles
Spoiler:



Volumes
Spoiler:
Year One
Spoiler:

Volume 1 - The Beginnings
1. A Challenger Emerges
2. Making the Grade
3. The Brave Bird
4. A Cold Queen
5. Night in the Woods, Part I
6. Night in the Woods, Part II
7. The Ditto Theory
8. Friends and Enemies



Volume 2 - The First Year Tournament
10. Mew Unleashed
11. Freaks and Geeks
12. The Prodigy vs. The Prodigious
13. Best Served Cold
14. A Crowned Champion
15. Doom
16. The Marvelous Eevee


----------


Volume 1
Chapter 1: A Challenger Emerges
Ordinarily, the Indigo Plateau was a symbol for champions and elite Trainers alike in the Kanto region. Ranging from Trainers who completely dominated the Kanto Gym Leader challenge to others who helped destroy one of the world's most feared crime syndicates, the names of Trainers engraved on the Indigo Wall outside of the stadium was an inspiration to Trainers all across the world.

Today, however, the Indigo Plateau was not being used to host a grand battle between a conqueror of the Elite 4 and the Kanto champion. Towards the end of every summer and right before autumn, an esteemed Pokemon academy hosted its battle examinations at the Indigo Plateau. This Academy was known as Elite Academy.

"How long are you gonna stare at that wall, Ryo?"

A boy with short brown hair, dressed in a blue and white striped jacket with gray shorts stood in front of the wall, fascinated by the many names that were engraved in the indigo structure. He too wanted to be remembered in history for being a great Pokemon Trainer.

"Ryo? Ryo!" said the voice again.

"Huh?" Ryo turned around the face his little brother who had been standing behind him for quite some time. Ryo's Houndour sat patiently beside his brother. "Oh, sorry Kenta," Ryo said. "Got a little distracted by the Indigo Wall. Where's mom?"

"I think she went inside to finish registering you for your battle exam," Kenta said. "Domo and I have been watching for about ten minutes. I don't think it takes ten minutes to read all of the names on the Indigo Wall."

Ryo groaned at Kenta as he snapped his fingers causing Domo to trot over happily to be met with a rub behind the ears. Domo was the first Pokemon that Ryo had received as a gift from his father. Ever since they were introduced at a young age, Ryo and Domo were pretty much inseparable. Ryo truly felt safe whenever he was near the Houndour.

"Cool, let's go inside and find her before she starts to worry."

----------

The lobby area inside of the Indigo Plateau was heavily crowded. Hundreds of young Trainers wanted to be admitted into Elite Academy because it was considered 'the best educational institute for the advancement of young Pokemon Trainers'. That's what the pamphlet that Ryo sent in the mail said anyway. Ryo wandered around aimlessly with Kenta and Domo following behind him.

"Wow, I... didn't think there would be so many Trainers here..." Ryo thought out loud.

Kenta balled his fist as a determined expression appeared on his face. "Just you wait!" he said excitedly. "In two years, I'm going to be ruling the school!"

Ryo looked back at Kenta and had smirk on his face as he said, "Yeah right, Kenta! You're going to have to go through me first!"

Kenta pouted and folded his arms as he said, "You barely passed your written exam Ryo. If you don't win your battle today or score enough points, you won't even be admitted into the academy!"

"So you've been in my room reading my emails!?" Ryo shouted at Kenta causing the entire lobby to stare at him. After a few moments, the continued on with what they were individually doing. Ryo sighed as they continued to walk.

Eventually, they found their mother who had just completed Ryo's registration for battle. She looked similar to her sons in that she short brown hair and hazel eyes. Ryo was a few inches taller than her. She wore a long, blue dress with a darker blue cardigan. She met her eldest son with an excited hug before withdrawing from it to look him in the eyes. Her name was Hana.

"Oh Ryo... I'm so proud of you! You're growing up so fast! You're still my little booger wooger!" she grabbed his cheeks and pinched them repeatedly while causing a scene. A few of the Trainers Ryo's age noticed this and started to point and laugh at him.

"Mooom... stop!" Ryo said as he backed away quickly.

Ryo's mother simply giggle as she knelt down to rub Domo on the head. The Houndour obliged as his back foot started to move uncontrollably upon being rubbed in just the perfect spot. After a few seconds of that, Hana stood up.

"Well, at least Domo appreciates the attention," she smiled at Ryo. "I'm just wishing you the best of luck and your battle exam today, honey! I'm sure that you and your Pokemon will do well and be victorious. Isn't that right, Kenta? You'll be cheering your big brother on with me as we're sitting in the crowd!"

"Yeah... but only if Ryo actually wins. He only has two Pokemon!" Kenta snickered, scratching the side of his forehead.

Ryo gave Kenta an intimidating stare as he was about to pounce on his younger brother, but his mother stopped him by grabbing him on the arm.

"Kenta! That's no way to talk to your big brother as he's about to participate in his first official battle as a student of Elite Academy!" She let go of Ryo's arm as she continued, "Not, Ryo, if I'm not mistaken, all applicants are to report to the challenger's lobby on the other side of the stadium. You should go over there and see if you could meet some new friends. Kenta and I will try to find us a good seat so that we can see your battle and so that we can cheer you on!"

Kenta walked over to Ryo and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Seriously, big bro, you've got this!"

Ryo looked down and smiled at Kenta before nodding at him and then nodding as his mother. Domo walked over to Ryo as the two waved at Hana and Kenta as they walked away to the seating section of the Indigo Plateau. Once the two were completely lost in the crowd of people, it was time for Ryo and Domo to make their way to this challenger's lounger that Ryo's mother spoke of.

He was a bit nervous at making new friends. Ryo had trouble making friends even in his hometown of Celadon City and that place had more than enough people to make friends with. These thoughts circulated through Ryo's mind as he and Domo made their way to the other side of the stadium.

----------

Ryo grabbed a seat in the lobby as Domo lay on the floor in front of him. He had intentions on speaking once he came in, but noticed that all of the Trainers in the room were already conversing with one another. He did not want to intrude on their conversations. Maybe they were having a good talk. Either that or Ryo was thinking too much.

As Ryo sat there in deep thought, he stared at Domo's back, not because he was interested in waht was going on with the Houndour's back, but he was completely zoned out. His focus was on making this battle examination go as smoothly as possible. A win would automatically grant him acceptance into Elite Academy. Ryo did not realize that he was being observed by a guy, standing over him.

"You okay, dude?" said the boy, hovering over Ryo.

Ryo jumped as he was broken from his trance as he looked up to see who had spoken to him. The boy was about his height and wore a white hoodie with khaki shorts. His shimmering blonde was perhaps his most notable feature. Ryo sat up straight and was about to respond until the boy took it upon himself to speak again.

"Ha! Ah man... I see. You're getting focused for the battle. It's cool," he said. He extended his hand for a respectable handshake between the two boys, "I'm Duke from Mahogany Town, Johto."

Ryo nodded and shook his hand. "Ryo, Celadon City, Kanto. This is Domo, my Houndour. He's friendly so you don't have to worry about him biting."

Duke grinned as he looked at Domo and rubbed the Houndour on the head. "Nice Houdour you got here," he said. He glanced over at the screen posted on the wall and then looked back at Ryo, "You seem like a pretty cool guy, Ryo. We'll have to talk when I get back from my battle okay? What number is your battle?"

Ryo reach into his pocket and pulled out his slip. "It says... Fifteen."

"Cool, that's a few battles after my battle..."

"Attention! Attention!" said a voice from the intercom. "Will applicant number eleven please report to the grass battlefield? Will applicant number eleven please report to the grass battlefield."

----------

Duke made his way to the grass battlefield as he stood opposite of a battle proctor. A smile appeared on his face as he took out a PokeBall and pointed it at his opponent. The roar of the crowd was much louder than the previous battle. Duke simply scoffed and shook his head as the referee waited for the crowd's noise to die down. Once it, the battle began immediately.

"Let's go, Scizz!"

Duke tossed the PokeBall forward as it burst open and shot back to his hand. Once the flash of the PokeBall opening died down, in front of Duke stood a powerful looking Scizor. The Scissors Pokemon slashed his claws forward in a violent fashion before posing and waiting on the battle proctor to release his Pokemon.

"Duke," the proctor said, "you will be facing... Granbull!"

He tossed a PokeBall into the air as the purple bulldog Pokemon was released. Stomping its feet, Granbull reared back and snarled loudly, but it failed to intimidate Scizz at all. The Scizor pointed a claw at Granbull as both combatants waited for a signal from the referee.

"Battle eleven will be between Elite Academy's Granbull and Duke from Mahogany Town's Scizor," the referee stated as he looked at both battlers to make sure that they were ready. "Begin!"

"Granbull, Fire Fang!"

The Granbull sprinted towards Scizz, its mouth becoming engulfed at flames. Once it reached the Scizor, it took a powerful snap at him with its fiery mandible. Scizz quickly dodged without any command from Duke. Granbull continued to try and bite at Scizz, but the speed of the Scizor was key in dodging each and every attempt that Granbull threw at him. Duke shoved his hands into his pockets as he waited for a moment and then decided to go on the offense.

"Fury Cutter!"

Once Scizz had room to attack, he took a quick swipe at Granbull's body. The attack did little damage as Granbull was then instructed to use a Rage attack. The anger fueled Granbull's offense as it struck Scizz in the abdomen, but the partially Steel-type Pokemon was not affected by it. With another chance to attack, Scizz went at Granbull again, but this time instead of attacking once it attacked twice, causing more damage to Granbull. The Fairy Pokemon was sent back and thudded off the ground, exposed to even more of an offensive onslaught.

"X-Scissor, Scizz!" Duke shouted.

Scizz nodded as he flew forward with crossed claws. The Scizor's moves were perfect, almost like poetry in motion, as it ultimately slashed Granbull across the chest with a crossing slash from his claws. Granbull flew back even further at the feet of the battle proctor. Scizz flew back to his Trainer as the crowd roared in excitement.

"Granbull is unable to battle," said the referee. "Therefore, the winner is Duke and Scizor from Mahogany Town!"

----------

Ryo stood and watched in amazement as Duke and his Scizor handily defeated the battle proctor's Granbull. He was positive that his Pokemon were not as strong as Duke's and there was no telling what other Pokemon Duke had in his arsenal.

"If Duke is so strong, why was he even talking to me? He had to have known that I was an inferior Trainer," Ryo thought to himself as he looked over at the group of other Trainers who were watching the big screen.

"That's the son of the Johto Champion. It's no wonder why he's so strong!" said one of the Trainers.

"The son of the Johto Champion!?" Ryo thought, his eyes widening in complete surprise.
Next - Chapter 2: Making the Grade
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Elite Academy - A Pokemon Academy fan-fiction by TurtleKing
Volume One | Volume Two
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  #2    
Old October 13th, 2013 (01:47 PM).
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krabbypatz93
August Burns Red FTW
 
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: AZ
Age: 21
Gender: Male
Nature: Jolly
You know the perfect way to end a chapter making the reader want more! As always, I very much enjoyed your work. Good and solid way to start the volume out, I can't wait to read more battles!
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  #3    
Old October 14th, 2013 (02:28 PM).
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TurtleKing
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Quote:
Originally Posted by krabbypatz93 View Post
You know the perfect way to end a chapter making the reader want more! As always, I very much enjoyed your work. Good and solid way to start the volume out, I can't wait to read more battles!
Thanks for the view and the comment Pat! Nice to know that you're still reading my stories!

For everyone else, I want to say that I'm happy to be back in the PC Fan-Fiction community! It's been an interesting hiatus for me as I've ventured to other endeavors not only on PC but in life as well. However, writing is something that has piqued my interest again and I've been doing it a lot lately (even between school and work surprisingly). I aim to update Elite Academy at least once per week (typically on Sundays) so if you're interested to be on the PM list, post here or PM me personally and I will inform you of new chapters!

Happy reading!

~TK
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Volume One | Volume Two
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  #4    
Old October 15th, 2013 (07:57 AM). Edited November 30th, 2013 by TurtleKing.
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TurtleKing
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Chapter 2: Making the Grade
The crowd after Duke's battle was heavily pleased with the blonde boy's victory. He put on an impressive show that wowed everyone but did not surprise many of the members of the audience including Ryo's little brother, Kenta. Kenta knew that Duke's father was the champion and seeing Duke display the potential of another future family was not alarming. However, he was very hyper about seeing such a great battle from Duke.

"You know that boy Kenta?" Hana asked her son.

Kenta nodded and looked at his mother. They were sitting in center section of the audience so that they had a front-and-center view of the battles on the grass battlefield. "Yep, he's the son of the Johto Champion. You know... his brother's also the Gym Leader in his hometown of Mahogany."

"That's fascinating!" Hana said, focusing her attention on the battlefield now that the next battle was about to begin. "His family appears to... breed excellent Trainers!"

Kenta smiled and nodded saying, "Yep! When I get to the Academy, I'm going to ask him to be my mentor."

"What about your brother, Ken?"

"Eh... we'll see. Oh look, the battle's starting!"

----------

By the time Duke returned to the challenger's lounge, he was greeted by many of his appears who congratulating him on his victory. Seemingly annoyed with all of the attention, Duke thanked them for their acknowledgement and walked over to sit beside Ryo who was in the same spot he was in when Duke had left. Domo's head lifted upon seeing the return of Duke.

A sigh escaped Duke mouth as he leaned back into the chair saying, "Glad that's finally over with."

"Your Scizor is really powerful," Ryo complimented.

"Thanks," Duke said. "We've been together for quite some time so we really know how to battle with each other. But... I'm not perfect though. I still have trouble getting my Swinub to act right, haha."

Ryo grinned and chuckled saying, "Understandable. So... you're the son of the--"

"Leeet's not mention my father, okay?" Duke held up a finger to interrupt Ryo before he could even finish his sentence. "While we're at it... let's not mention my big brother either. So, is your Houndour the only Pokemon you have? Or do you have more?"

Ryo nodded, respecting Duke's wishes. Ryo imagined that it must have been tough and annoying to constantly get questioned by others about his family lineage. He probably would have grown tired of that himself.

"Other than Domo my Houndour, I have a Tangela named Moju," Ryo said, looking at the battle screen as he waited for his battle time to approach. "I just capture Moju so I'm trying to work with figuring out how to use it."

"Which Pokemon are you using for your examination? Domo or Moju?" Duke asked.

"Well, I was thinking I would do pretty well with Domo," Ryo replied.

"Ah, that's boring! Why don't you go out on a limb and use Moju? You just caught it right? What better way to see how he acts in battle than using him now!"

Ryo bit his lip and said in an uncertain tone, "I... I don't know Duke. I mean, I just caught it recently and..."

Duke grinned at Ryo and said, "Tell ya what... if you don't win your battle using your Tangela, I won't go to Elite Academy either. Besides, it's not fun going somewhere different without at least one friend, right? But I'm confident that you will win using your Tangela, Ryo."

Ryo thought for a moment as he looked down at Domo and then at Duke. After a moment of thought, Ryo said, "Alright. It'll be a challenge, but I'm up for a challenge!"

----------

Ryo stepped on to the grass battlefield as he was met with a slightly warm reception. Of course, in comparison to Duke's response, it was minimal but it was a response nonetheless. Ryo scanned through the crowd until he met eyes with his mother and little brother. They both waved at him and cheered loudly to which he responded with a simple nod of confidence. He faced the battle proctor who held out a PokeBall.

Ryo took out his own PokeBall and said to it, "Alright Moju... I've never used you in battle, but, I have the utmost confidence in you. Let's go!"

He tossed the PokeBall forward and out came the Vine Pokemon. His lavender vines wiggled freely as the Tangela looked around at the crowd. Never had he seen so many humans in one place after being captured by Ryo outside of Celadon City. It was a new experience for the Tangela and he was frightened.

"Stay calm, Moju," Ryo said to his Pokemon to increase it's courage.

The proctor then tossed a PokeBall forward, releasing a Luxio. The Electric-type Pokemon roared at Moju, causing the Tangela to run behind Ryo and hide for cover. The crowd immediately burst into laughter, causing a hint of embarrassment to appear on Ryo's face. Ryo lifted his leg to try and move Moju towards the battlefield, but to no avail.

"Trainer," said the referee, "your Pokemon needs to be on the battlefield or you automatically fail the examination."

"Uh, yes I know!" Ryo said nervously with a smile on his face. He knelt down to Moju and said, "Moju... just get on the battlefield. Come on!"

Moju shook his head rapidly as the two began to have a miniature battle themselves. Ryo tugged at Moju and struggled with him until the boy finally threw the Tangela onto the battlefield. Finally, the match would begin.

"Battle fifteen will be between Elite Academy's Luxio and Ryo from Celadon City's Tangela," the referee stated as he looked at both battlers to make sure that they were ready. "Begin!"

----------

It was an ugly scene on the grass battlefield in the eyes of the Trainers inside of the challenger's lounge. Duke watched the battle and winced. He had no intentions on making Ryo fail the exam by choosing to use his Tangela instead of his Houndour, but he did not expect for Ryo to be completely unprepared to use his Tangela.

"Oh my gosh, has he ever even battled before?"

"How did he even catch a Pokemon?"

"No way he's winning the battle."

"Right, the proctor can't possibly pass him.
"

Duke overheard these words from the others in the room and could not help but to feel guilty for pressuring Ryo into using a Pokemon that was not properly trained for battle right away. He balled his fists as he refrained from commenting about the situation as he looked on to the battle.

"C'mon Ryo..." he thought.

----------

Moju fell to the ground after being by another one of Luxio's Spark attacks. The proctor had signaled for Luxio to go in and finish the job with a Bite attack when Moju slowly got to his feet, appearing to look as if one more hit would do the job. Ryo gritted his teeth as he tried to come up with a solution to the incoming probably of his Tangela being knocked out and failing the examination in front of hundreds of people.

"I've got to stop Luxio.... it's too fast!" Ryo thought to himself.

Luxio continued to run towards Moju and, when it got within striking distance, it jumped up with its mouth gaping open.

"Bind!" Ryo shouted.

Moju extended two of its lavender vines, wrapping them around Luxio's body and holding it above his head in the air. Luxio wailed out in pain as it struggled to break free from the Bind attack. Finally, things were looking to be in favor for Ryo and Moju.

"Okay, now that we've stopped it, we've got to get some HP back, Moju," Ryo said. "Mega Drain!"

Moju squealed as the vines that wrapped around Luxio's body started to glow in a bright green color. The vines started to drain the energy out of Luxio and transferred the energy into Moju's body. In a matter of time, the two Pokemon had swapped health. After a few moments though, Moju's vines weakened and the Bind attack was finally broken. But now, Luxio was the one that was weak. The proctor commanded Luxio to Tackle Moju and the Spark Pokemon charged towards the Tangela yet again.

"Wait for it, Moju," said Ryo.

Once Luxio jumped up into the air like last time, Ryo commanded Moju to use a Vine Whip attack. Moju extended one of his vine, smacking Luxio across the face and sending it backwards, defeated upon impact.

"Luxio is unable to battle," said the referee. "Therefore, the winner is Ryo and Tangela from Celadon City!"

----------

After the battle, Ryo met with an academy representative in the lobby where he received his First Year pack consisting of a Pokedex, ten PokeBalls, a few Trainer items, and a map of the Archipelago. Immediately after receiving his things, Ryo's mother and brother came to congratulate him.

"I'm so proud of you honey!" his mother said as she gave him another big hug. "I promise I won't pinch your cheeks, but I must give you a big hug!"

When Hana withdrew from the hug, Kenta high-fived his big brother saying, "You were awesome, Ryo! I almost doubted you, but Moju really surprised us!"

Ryo thanked his mother and brother greatly, but there time together was cut short because he would have to meet up with more representatives of the academy so that he could be accounted for to board the ship to the institute.

----------

Before he knew it, Ryo found himself aboard the S.S. Elite, a ship provided by the academy that carried students that needed the transportation to the Elite Archipelago, home of the Elite Academy. Getting settled in his bunk, Ryo slid his suitcase underneath his bed and rested his two PokeBalls on the desk provided for him. He could not believe that he won that battle, but he did.

Ryo reached for the door and opened it simultaneously just as Duke had walked in with his things. The two grinned at each other and immediately shook hands.

"Hey dude, I'm so sorry about pressuring you to use your Tangela," Duke said, placing his things on his bunk as he faced Ryo.

Ryo shook his head saying, "No, it's cool. I never would have known how strong Moju was until I actually used him. Even my little brother was impressed and he's a tough crowd."

"I'm glad you won, then!" Duke said as he opened on of his PokeBalls, releasing his Swinub. "This is Swinus, by the way. I'm leaving him out for the trip if you don't mind."

"Not at all," Ryo replied.

The two converse about their backgrounds and upbringing with Duke even mentioning his father and his older brother. Ryo noted that his family was not all that important, stating that his mother was once a Trainer and his father was a soldier in the army. He also stated that his brother would be applying for the academy in two years.

When nightfall came, Ryo began to read through a pamphlet that was in the drawer of his desk and noticed that there was a ranking system for each of the First Year Trainers.

"Hey Duke, what are these... stars beside our names?" Ryo asked.

Duke turned around and looked at the page that Ryo was talking about. "Ah, those are a ratings. Usually, First Years are ranked with one stars upon entry but there are special cases where they can get two stars."

"Hmm, I have one star and you have two. I'm not surprised though."

"Eh, politics," Duke said as lay down on his bed.

"There's another person with two stars," Ryo said scanning the sheet. "Her name is Kelly. Do you know her?"

"Ah, that's the girl with the tough Sableye from the first battle. She's from Hoenn. Yeah, she's pretty tough," commented Duke. He glanced over at Ryo while rubbing Swinus on the back. "Don't worry so much about that stuff though. Stars mean nothing."

Ryo nodded and said, "Yeah you're right. A lot of people in the challenger's lounge didn't even think I would make it and here I am!"

"Right!" Duke said. "We should really stay close to each other while we're here."

Ryo got in his bed as well as he grew a bit tired. Soon, both he and Duke fell asleep in their bunks as the S.S. Elite continue its route towards the Elite Archipelago. By the time both boys woke up in the morning, they would be met by the presence of Elite Academy.
Next - Chapter 3: The Brave Bird
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Volume One | Volume Two
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  #5    
Old October 15th, 2013 (03:03 PM).
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krabbypatz93
August Burns Red FTW
 
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: AZ
Age: 21
Gender: Male
Nature: Jolly
Once again, I really enjoyed the chapter. I thought for sure you were going to put Houndour in with Ryo's battle, or it's what I was expecting at least. I liked visualizing that battle as well, it was very clear. I also like how you put the idea of 'trainer politics' in there towards the end, as I'm sure that's going to play a role with the characters at the Academy, I can just picture overconfident trainers thinking they're better than anyone. I love reading stories with big headed antagonists xD

Keep the good work up man, eagerly awaiting the next chapter. As well as your message back on your recommendation for a writing program so I can get started on my fic xD
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  #6    
Old October 19th, 2013 (10:36 AM). Edited November 30th, 2013 by TurtleKing.
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Chapter 3: The Brave Bird
The next morning, the S.S. Elite anchored at the short of the mainland island and alerted each of the students, whether if they were awake or slumbering, that they had arrived at Elite Academy. Ryo got dressed and released Domo but their departure was cut short when they both realized that Duke and Swinus were still comfortably asleep. The beginning of the year ceremony was about to start in fifteen minutes and here Duke was fast asleep and not dressed.

"Uh, Duke?" Ryo said, leaning over the blonde boy and poking him on the face.

Duke muttered something in an audible tone before flipped over to his other side and continued to snore. He surely was a heavy sleeper. By now, Swinus had woke up and hopped off the bed, ready to depart from the room, but his Trainer was far from ready.

"Duke!" Ryo shouted.

"Wha-wha-what!" Duke said sitting up in his bunk as he held his head. His messy blonde hair lay on his head as he swooshed it out of the way with his hand. "Aw crap, I overslept again didn't I?"

"Uh, yeah," Ryo said, taking a step back after Duke had woke up abruptly. "The ceremony starts in ten minutes. We're not going to make it in time are we?"

"Ah, we'll make it in time, I'm sure," Duke said as he got up and got dressed immediately.

The two boys exited the ship as a few of the academy's assistants carried their luggage off the ship. By now, the front lawn was completely deserted, leading the two boys and their Pokemon to run into the large front doors and into the corridors. Once they got inside, they were amazed at how large the main building was.

"This place is... freaking huge!" Ryo said as the two walked down the hall.

"I know right?" Duke responded. "The opening ceremony is taking place in the auditorium. Let's go."

----------

The auditorium was an immense structure that held hundreds of students. The point of focus though was the stage down in the center where several of Elite Academy's professors sat as they welcomed back current students while greeting the First Year students and congratulating them on acceptance into the academy. After each of the professors spoke, finally, the Headmaster of the Elite Academy stepped to the podium to a voluminous round of applause. The man was an elder, but healthy looking man with short white hair and a white mustache, dressed in a lab robe. It was at this time that Ryo and Duke made entered the auditorium and grabbed two seats near the back.

"Thank you students and staff! Welcome back to Elite Academy and for our First Year students, we greet you with a warm and comforting embrace! For those of you who are unaware of who I am, I am Headmaster Beaugard. I am happy to serve as the leader of this academy for a fifteenth year!"

The crowd applauded the headmaster. Ryo and Duke looked at each other and joined in on the applaud.

"The mission of Elite Academy is to further the knowledge of our youth so that they not only are more prepared the wondrous world of Pokemon, but also that they become good citizens of our world. Several student who have graduated from Elite Academy have gone on to become regional professors, gym leaders, ace trainers, Elite 4 members, and champions!"

The crowd cheered and applauded again before settling down.

"I say to each of you... you all are capable of doing great things! It takes courage, diligence, and determination to become Elite. Here at Elite Academy, we will strive towards our dreams and make them a reality! Here's to another successful year!"

----------

The first two days at Elite Academy were enjoyable for Ryo. He spent his Saturday and Sunday gathering supplies and materials for class while also doing a bit of Training with Domo and Moju. He occasionally conversed with Duke, who became is roommate due to luck of the draw, but Duke often was in and out of his room since he too was gathering supplies for class as well.

Monday morning came and Ryo was excited to attend his first class. Capturing 101 was a class that all First Year students had to take, since capturing was the basis of Pokemon Training. Ryo and Duke were both members of the class and walked from their dorm room to the front lawn of the mainland island where they were met by thirteen other students in this particular section of Capturing 101.

Ryo cleared his throat as he glance around everyone Star Tag: a tag placed on the left, outer part of the chest of each Trainer's blouse, jacket, or shirt. Ryo had one star patch on his tag while Duke donned two stars. As he looked around, Ryo noticed that most of the students at one star, until he saw a girl with two stars on her Star Tag.

"She must be pretty strong too. Just as strong as Duke," Ryo thought before diverting his attention to the incoming, red-haired woman dressed in a lab coat.

She smiled brightly at her pupils and said, "This never gets old for me! Seeing young Trainers at the start of the year and then watching them make something out of themselves!"

The students stared at the emotional woman blankly.

"Excuse me, everyone!" she wiped a tear from her eyes. "My name is Professor Fern and I am the head instructor for classes on capturing Pokemon. This particular class is Capturing 101! An easy A if you play your cards right! Today, we're gonna test the waters out for each of you! I'm going to send each of you to a separate location in the Forest Area alone. You need to catch a Pokemon within the hour time limit. Those who catch a Pokemon will receive extra credit points. Any questions?"

"What if we don't catch a Pokemon?" Ryo raised his hand and asked. It was a sincere question from him. His classmates chuckled. "No, seriously!"

Professor Fern raised a brow as she thought for a moment and said, "Ah... well, that has never happened to any of my students in the five years that I've been teaching here. I'm sure you all will do just fine! Any more questions? No? Okay! Everyone line up so you can receive your sector in the Forest Area!"

Ryo shook his head as a few of the students murmured something in reference to him being the boy who struggled at the battle examination. Duke got in line and looked back at Ryo to see if he was getting in line too. Ryo eventually got in place as he waited to receive his sector from Professor Fern. This was definitely going to be an interesting first day of class.

----------

Deciding to use Domo in his battle against whatever wild Pokemon he encountered, Ryo made his way through the Forest Area, looking around for Pokemon to catch. As he walked, he looked at his map of the island in order to get an understanding of what Pokemon were in the area. As he was walking, Domo started growling which alarmed Ryo.

"What is it Domo?" Ryo asked as he looked up and saw a Spinarak dangling from a web in front of the Houndour.

The Spinarak immediately dropped to the ground and sprayed Domo with a sticky String Shot, which tangled up the Houndour. Fortunately, Domo bit free of the strings and waited for a command from his Trainer.

"Ember!" Ryo shouted, excited that he had encountered a Pokemon so soon in his journey into the forest.

Domo opened his mouth and unleashed a fiery ball towards the Spinarak, but the Bug-type Pokemon was quick to dodge, slinging a web to the tree branch above Ryo and dangling behind the Trainer. Once it was behind Ryo, Spinarak fired another string of web but this time at Ryo. Tied in the sticky, tight web, Ryo tried flailing his way out of the Spinarak's trap, but it didn't work.

"Feint Attack, Domo!"

Domo barked as his body quickly disappeared quickly before appearing behind the Spinarak in mid air. After appearing behind Spinarak, Domo swiped his paw at the Spinarak, sending it flying out of the vicinity. Ryo groaned as he slumped to the ground, still trapped in Spinarak's web after Domo had sent it flying across the forest to who knows where.

"Great, Domo, now we've got to find another Pokemon to catch."

Domo pouted as it trotted towards his Trainer with lowered ears.

Ryo shook his head and smiled saying, "It's alright, Domo. Just get me out of these webs and we'll find us a Pokemon for sure."

----------

About an hour had past and Duke had made his way back to the front lawn where Professor Fern was. Many other students had successfully captured their Pokemon, but Ryo was no where in sight. Duke figured that the boy was still out catching a Pokemon, but he hoped he would at least find one before the afternoon. In his hands, Duke held the Tympole he successfully caught in the stream that ran through his assigned sector of the Forest Area.

"Ah!" said Professor Fern, "I see you've caught a Tympole! Ain't he a cutie? Wouldn't expect anything less from you, Mr. Duke."

Duke smiled and nodded at the professor, "Yes ma'am. Thank you ma'am."

He looked to his right as he saw, not surprisingly, Kelly walking towards them. When she reached Professor Fern, she held out her PokeBall that contained a Meowth. The good professor was ecstatic for Kelly as she too was awarded bonus points for capturing a Pokemon.

"So that gives you a Sableye, a Swablu, and now a Meowth! Good job Kelly!" said Professor Fern.

Kelly flashed a small smile and said, "Thank you, Professor." She looked at Duke and nodded before walking off towards the main building.

As more students came, Duke realized that Ryo was still out there trying to catch a Pokemon. He waited for him to come back, but after two hours, he was wondering if Ryo was okay.

"You can head inside with your classmates, Duke," Professor Fern stated after watching Duke look out to the forest for a few minutes.

Duke looked at Professor Fern and said, "Ah, I'm fine. Just waiting on my friend, Ryo to come back. He's probably in a tough battle."

----------

Ryo continued walking deeper into the forest until he was met by a slightly mountainous region. "Okay, I think I'm out of the Forest Area," Ryo chuckled to himself nervously.

He sat on the ground beside Domo as they both observed the map.

"Okay... it says here that we are nearing the eastern sector of the Mountain Region. So it's best if we go east to get back to the mainland island. I'm sure we can find a Pokemon eventually, Domo," said Ryo as he looked to his Houndour.

Ryo stood when he heard a shrilling sound. He held his ear firmly as he looked around for the source of this powerful caw-sound. Domo too was bothered by the sound as he growled immediately when he saw what caused it. A furry little Rufflet emerged from the top of this side of mountain and was swooping down towards the two. A beep was heard from Ryo's Pokedex inside of his pocket.

"Rufflet, the Eaglet Pokemon. Rufflet stands up to massive opponents, not out of courage, but out of recklessness. But that is how it gets stronger."

"Sounds like my kind of Pokemon," Ryo muttered to himself as he ducked out of the way of the swooping, Flying-type Pokemon.

Rufflet swooped back around cawed again before diving towards the two with a Peck attack.

"Domo, Ember!"

Domo jumped up in time to block Rufflet from its Trainer, sending it the other way. He opened his mouth and unleashed a fireball towards Rufflet, scorching the Eaglet Pokemon in the back with flames. Rufflet roared out in pain, but rose back up quickly. It flapped upward and swooped down with more speed, hitting Domo with a quick Aerial Ace attack. Domo fell to the ground, wincing in pain.

"The little guy is fast!" Ryo shouted, looking up at Rufflet who was now airborne again, flapping its wings. It appeared to be enjoying this spar with the much bigger Domo.

Domo finally stood up as Rufflet went at the Houndour again with another Aerial Ace, striking him in abdomen and sending Domo to the ground again.

"I gotta slow him down some how..." Ryo muttered to himself. "Smog!"

Domo stopped as he lifted his maw to the sky, sending out a howl. Smog slowly submerged out of no where, surrounding the battlefield leaving the Rufflet confused and damaged at the same time. Rufflet coughed for breath as it slowly lingered to the ground before landing on its feet, its balance wavering.

When the Smog cleared, Ryo ordered another Ember attack from Domo and the Houndour fired another ball of fire towards the Flying-type Pokemon, knocking it back even further and knocking it out. Seizing the opportunity of a fainted Pokemon, Ryo took out a PokeBall and tossed it at the Rufflet. The PokeBall bounced off the Pokemon, contained it inside, and then landed on the ground and it proceed to wobble back and forth.

It wobbled... and wobbled... and wobbled... until... Rufflet was captured!

Domo panted happily as he bounced up and down. Ryo ran over to the PokeBall and picked up with a smile.

"You're a tough little guy. I'm going to name you... Abel."

----------

The afternoon had completely zoomed by and it was approaching about 4:00 PM. Ryo finally made his way back to the front lawn where he was met by Professor Fern and Duke. Duke grinned as he finally saw his friend appear from the trees of the forest. Professor Fern smiled as well, happy that he had successfully made it back, despite it being about an hour after the last student returned with their captured Pokemon.

Ryo exhaled happily as he held out his Pokemon that contained his newly acquired Rufflet, Abel. "I captured a Rufflet," the boy said, out of breathe.

"Congratulations, Ryo!" Professor Fern smiled approvingly at her pupil. "Wasn't that bad was it?"

Ryo looked down at Domo and then at Professor Fern saying, "Oh it was bad alright..."

Duke burst into laughter as grabbed Ryo by the neck and gave hem a noogie to the crown of his head, "Ah-ha! You've got to give yourself more credit, Ryo. A Rufflet is an extremely rare Pokemon to catch! But hey, you did it man!"

Ryo grinned as he finally broke free from Duke's grasp by pushing him off. He had capture his first Pokemon at Elite Academy and things were actually looking up for him. He was still a bit nervous, but with three Pokemon on his team, a good friend in Duke, and a new acquaintance with Professor Fern, Ryo saw a positive future ahead for him.
Next - Chapter 4: A Cold Queen
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  #7    
Old October 21st, 2013 (05:14 PM). Edited December 4th, 2013 by TurtleKing.
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TurtleKing
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Chapter 4: A Cold Queen
By far the most exciting class for most students at Elite Academy were the classes that emphasized battling, a key component to any Trainer's development. The lead expert in the battling classes was Professor Wood, an extremely tall man with a shiny, bald head. Many people knew him as a former champion in the Hoenn region, but Professor Wood was so humble in that he did not let his accolades define him. It was for this reason that Ryo desired to build a close relationship with Professor Wood in hopes that the good professor would show him a thing or two about developing his battling skills. Of course, that was a hard task.

Ryo sat in his battling class beside Duke as they observed the center of the room. Professor Wood always set up his large class room so that there was a giant circle of seats formed around a small battlefield. However, for the past few classes, the students either just watched documentaries about the history battling or a few of the Pokemon League championship tournament matches, featuring some of the greatest battles in history. Today, according to Professor Wood, would be the day that two students would do battle with one another.

As he sat next to Duke, Ryo leaned over to his blonde friend and said, "I wonder who Professor Wood is going to choose for the battle today."

Duke glanced at Ryo and said, "I don't know... but I'm curious to see what some of our fellow classmates are capable of."

"Easy for you to say," Ryo replied. "You've got two stars and everyone respects you."

"Will you quit worrying about the stupid star system?" Duke said glaring at Ryo.

Ryo lifted both of his hands in defense and whispered an apology as his attention directed towards Professor Wood as he emerged in the center of the classroom circle.

"Greetings my students," Professor Wood started. "Today is the day many of you have been waiting for. Yes! I will be selecting two lucky contestants to take center stage and show off their best battling skills! For the purposes of this first battle, this will be a simple one-on-one contest and I will not intervene or comment until one Pokemon has been defeated."

The students let out a small cheer and round of applause.

"Without further ado, I won't keep you all in suspense any longer. The Trainer who will stand in the red corner is..." He turned on his heel as he glanced around all of the students in the circle. He stopped and pointed his finger in the direction of the person in his path. "Ms. Kelly, you are in the red corner!"

Ryo and Duke glanced over at the black haired girl as she silently stood up and walked towards the red corner of the battlefield. Kelly had a confident smirk on her face as she took out a PokeBall, awaiting the announcement of her opponent in this practice battle. Ryo raised a brow as he read the confidence in Kelly's body language. She appeared to be very sure of herself and Ryo did not know what to make of it. Something just did not seem right about her with him; he just could not put his finger on it.

"You gonna stare at her all day, dude?" Duke said, gently elbowing Ryo, shocking the boy.

"I'm not staring at her!" Ryo whispered loudly to Duke and elbowed him back.

Professor Wood noticed the two boys tussling with one another just as he was about to select the second student. Curious as to what they were talking about, the tall, bald man made his way over to the duo and stood in front of them while they exchanged friendly hits. Once he realized that they were never going to realize that he was standing before them, Professor Wood cleared his throat loudly and folded his arms to which the boys responded by sitting in their seats in a civilized manner.

"Mr. Ryo and Mr. Duke, since you boys both are so eager to fight, why don't you two decided who will be battling against Ms. Kelly, hmm?"

Ryo glanced over at Kelly who had by now exchanged an icy look with him. He quickly looked at Duke who, unbeknownst to Professor Wood, pushed the boy out of his chair, sending him up onto the battlefield. Of course, this action was met with a response of laughs, giggles, and murmurs of the other students who were watching. Duke stuck his tongue out at Ryo while Ryo shook a friendly fist at Duke.

"Ah, Mr. Ryo. So nice of you to show a desire to battle. Please, go to the blue corner," said Professor Wood as he watched the brown haired boy make his way opposite of Kelly. "Now that we've finally got out two contestants, I want everyone to take notes on what each of the two. Observe their battle styles, positive and negatives, and what they can approve on! Kelly... Ryo... begin!"

Ryo took out a PokeBall and pointed it at Kelly, "Ladies f---"

"I don't need your permission," Kelly said, cutting Ryo off. "Go, Gemma!"

Kelly tossed her PokeBall forward as it burst open upon impact with the ground. Once the bright light cleared, a Sableye emerged in place in front of Kelly. Ryo observed the Sableye closely, recalling Duke mentioning how strong Kelly's Sableye was back when they were at their battle examination at the Indigo Plateau. Clearing his throat, Ryo tossed his PokeBall forward, releasing his Houndour, Domo.

"A Dark-type to counterattack her own Dark-type Pokemon," Ryo thought.

Domo took a fighting stance as he growled at Gemma. The Sableye merely flashed a bright grin at her opposition as she waited for a command from her Trainer. Ryo waited for Kelly to make the first move as he looked at her across the battlefield to see if she was about to call a command. Instead, she was staring back at him as if she was trying to intimidate him.

"Uh?" Ryo said in a confused tone.

"Feint Attack into Brick Break!" Kelly shouted.

Gemma snickered as she dashed forward, disappearing with a black poof. Domo looked around for his vanished opponent, but was caught completely off guard when Gemma appeared above him and hacked her right hand across the Houndour's back. Domo yelped out in pain as he fell flat to the ground, suffering from severe damage provided by the Fighting-type move. Gemma back flipped towards Kelly as she waited for another command.

Kelly folded her arms, appearing to be bored with her opponent. Many of the classmates snickered at how easily Kelly's Sableye pulled off the maneuver, but they were quickly shushed by Professor Wood,

"Your move," Kelly said simply.

"Gladly," Ryo thought. "Domo, get up and use Ember!"

Domo finally got to his feet and opened his mouth, unleashing a fiery ball towards Gemma, which the Sableye successfully dodged before utilizing the same tactics as before. Kelly commanded Gemma to use Feint Attack into a Brick Break which ultimately led to Domo lying flat on his stomach yet again. The Houndour stood up quickly after suffering even more damage.

"Howl, Domo!"

Domo sat back on his hind legs as he howled to the ceiling, upping his attack power. Once that was completed, Ryo commanded Domo use Bite.

"Stay strong, Gemma," Kelly said, arms still folded.

Gemma stood firmly in her place as Domo approached her rapidly. The Houndour jumped up and bit deep into the Darkness Pokemon's arms, causing Gemma to yelp slightly in minor pain. Now that Domo's teeth were sunk into Gemma's arm, the Sableye glared the Houndour in the face and began to laugh her funny laugh.

"Mean Look!"

The sapphire eyes of Gemma shone brightly before turning a bloody crimson color. Domo's eyes shone the same color as his body lay still, appearing to be frozen by Gemma's Mean Look. Almost immediately after using Mean Look, Gemma lifted her free arm into the air while Domo's teeth were still sunk in her body and slammed another Brick Break attack across the head of Domo. The Houndour was sent flying back towards his training, bouncing off the ground a few times and landing at his Trainer's feet in utter defeat.

The crowd applauded Kelly for her victory as she immediately returned her Pokemon and walked to her seat. Ryo returned his defeated Domo to his PokeBall and made his way back to her seat as well. Duke, who had been paying close attention to the battle, was impressed with Kelly's Sableye and had taken many notes on the battle. Of course, Professor Wood's words would probably mean more to Ryo at this point.

----------

"I am not a gullible Trainer! I can't be!"

"Um, in that battle you were, dude," said Duke as class ended.

"You're just one person, Duke!" Ryo said as he gathered his things, standing up as many of the students left Professor Wood's class.

Duke laughed and shook his head, "Seventy-seven percent of the class agrees with me in that you were gullible to fall for Kelly's attacks."

"I wouldn't say that, necessarily," said Professor Wood as he approached the two boys. "Kelly is a highly skilled Trainer and a true student to battling. She takes battling very seriously and you have to match her dedication if you ever want to defeat her."

Ryo turned to Professor Wood and said, "Will you teach me?"

"Dedication and hard work are not teachable skills. You have work towards it," he replied quickly. "But, if you want a lesson about those two things, I know a former student of mines who can help you out. He's a Third Year student named Len. You should talk to him."

"Ah!" Duke said in a realizing tone. "Isn't Len like the only guy who was a Second Year to compete in the Elite tournament?"

"Indeed, he truly is prodigious," Professor Wood responded.

"I'll be sure to find him then," Ryo said, nodding his head.

----------

For the rest of the day, Ryo went around asking all of the guys who lived in his dorm about where he could find this Len guy. Most of the replies to his inquiries were "I don't know" while others told him that he was probably out training somewhere. One thing was definitely for sure: Ryo had to meet with him if he was going to get any better at being a Pokemon Trainer. Sure, he had captured a Pokemon but if he was not able to successful train and prepare them for any battle, then what was the use?

Towards the evening, Ryo had just about given up on his search for Len when Duke walked into the room with a bit of good news.

"Hey, Ryo? Len's on the front lawn with some of friends. You should go talk to him before he disappears into thin air."

Ryo got up and immediately left the room en route to the front lawn. Sure enough, there was a tall guy with short brown hair surrounded by a group of seven or eight people. On his shoulder was an Aipom. Domo walked beside Ryo as the two approached Len as he was in mid-conversation about some sort of random occurrence with a Pokedex.

"Excuse me, are you Len?" Ryo asked, tapping the tall guy on his shoulder. Len turned around and the first things that Ryo noticed were the five stars on Len's Star Tag. He recalled Duke telling him not to worry about the star system, but that was hard considering Len was a third year student with a five star Trainer rating already! Ryo felt extremely inferior as he waited for Len's response.

"Yeah, what's up?" said Len in a sincere tone as he turned to face Ryo, arms folded.

Ryo scratched the back of his head and looked off, saying, "I was wondering... if you could… help me out with some stuff?"

"Training?" Len said immediately.

"Um, now that you mentioned it, sure why not?"

The Aipom on Len's shoulder did not appear to be impressed with Ryo's presence. An annoyed expression appeared on the Aipom's face as it uttered something in Ryo's direction, Domo looked up and noticed that the Aipom appeared to be insulting his Trainer and, instantly, the Houndour started barking at Aipom. Aipom stuck its tongue out a Domo but was quickly stopped by Len as he did not appreciate the foolery between the two Pokemon.

Once the Pokemon stopped throwing teased, Len looked down at Ryo and said, "Tell you what, kid. Prove yourself at the First Year tournament and I'll definitely work with you on increasing your Training skills. Sound like a plan?"

Ryo was not sure if this was going to go well. What did Len mean by "proving" himself? Did Ryo have to win the First Year tournament in order to gain the respect of one of his peers? A person who was still in school with him? These thoughts circulated through Ryo's mind until he realized that he really did not have anything else to lose at this point. He had no idea what the First Year tournament would entail as far as the competition, but he was positive that Kelly and Duke would participating. Not to mention other students as well.

Ryo extended his hand at Len and shook it, agreeing to the deal. "Deal," he said.

"Cool, now... get out of here and go train. I'm in the middle of an important meeting," Len stated in the stern, but nice way. Ryo did interrupt the guy as he was talking to a group of friends.

Ryo smiled and nodded as he and Domo backed away from the group of Trainers and headed back inside the main building. Once he got inside, he noticed Kelly walk past him without giving him a glance. Ryo's eyes followed her as he turned to watch her walk away from him. Something just did not feel right about Kelly and Ryo was sure he would find out in the future.

"I should probably go train," Ryo said out loud. "I should see if Duke will be busy this weekend."
Next - Chapter 5: Night in the Woods, Part I
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  #8    
Old October 26th, 2013 (02:37 PM).
Cutlerine
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Hm. I've only read the first two chapters, but since it's now getting late here I thought I'd leave a review now and come back to finish things off tomorrow. This really is quite a good piece of work: some proper thought's gone into the characters and into how they interact, which is something that I always look for and which I so often don't find, and the pacing is great. There are so many fics which either hurtle through the plot like the gingerbread man or meander about, slowly going nowhere - but this has got it pretty much spot on for this sort of story. The appropriate weight and space on the page is given to all areas of the narrative, and that results in a pleasantly smooth read. It's nicely crafted.

In fact, so far, most of what I have to criticise is typographical, which is always a good sign! There are quite a few instances of misspellings - 'waht' for 'what' and so on - or missing words, such as (to give my favourite example so far) here:

Quote:
His shimmering blonde was perhaps his most notable feature.
I assume you meant his blonde hair, as opposed to his semi-corporeal blonde friend. Not all of the missing words radically change the reading, but they do detract from the reading experience and it's worth reading through the story slowly and trying to pick them all out, or at least giving future chapters a close reread after finishing with them to catch them.

Other than that, my main complaint thus far is with passages like this:

Quote:
Once Scizz had room to attack, he took a quick swipe at Granbull's body. The attack did little damage as Granbull was then instructed to use a Rage attack. The anger fueled Granbull's offense as it struck Scizz in the abdomen, but the partially Steel-type Pokemon was not affected by it. With another chance to attack, Scizz went at Granbull again, but this time instead of attacking once it attacked twice, causing more damage to Granbull. The Fairy Pokemon was sent back and thudded off the ground, exposed to even more of an offensive onslaught.
You're telling me very exciting things, but I'm not actually that excited about them. The facts of the fight are presented in a series of sentences that are mostly the same length, many of which start with the same words, and which repeat words like 'attack' up to six times - three of those in the same sentence. That sort of similarity works against the events you're presenting and actually deadens their impact; if you vary the length of the sentences and try to keep from repeating the same words too often, fight scenes like this will be a lot punchier and more dynamic - which is, I hope, what the writers of fight scenes are after.

My last reservation is about the use of a 'VS X' formula for each chapter, but I'm not going to judge that until I've read a bit further ahead and have a sense of whether it's working for the story or not.

Now that the unpleasant bit's over, I thought I'd share something I took an especial fancy to.

Quote:
The Houndour obliged as his back foot started to move uncontrollably upon being rubbed in just the perfect spot.
It's a lovely bit of detail. People often seem to forget that Pokémon have, in most cases, real-life counterparts whose behaviour they probably mimic at times; this familiar bit of dogginess (for want of a better word) really brings Domo to life. If there's more of this sort of thing for other Pokémon, then I'm really looking forward to seeing it.

All in all, what I've read so far bodes very well. I'll be sure to let you know what I think in more detail once I've made my way through the next six chapters.
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Old October 27th, 2013 (09:16 PM).
Dillon1102
 
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Is Roy based off a character from master quest?
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  #10    
Old October 28th, 2013 (11:28 AM).
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@Cutlerine - Thanks so much for the review! I really appreciate you taking the time out to read. In regards to the battle scenes, I think I understand where you're coming from. I think what I've been trying to do for these first few "introductory" chapters was to not make the battles, I guess, too descriptive seeing as how nothing of significance has occurred yet plot wise, but you're right, I need to make sure the reader is excited to read a battle scene. I will keep that in mind for the future! Thanks again!

EDIT: Also, Cutlerin, in regards to the names of the chapters, I think I've done that solely because I'm kind of... terrible at naming chapters lol. However, do you think it would be best for me to actually name the chapters or no? I usually did the "VS. X" because I was an avid reader of the Pokemon Manga, but thinking about it now, I should probably be more original in that sense. What do you think?

@Dillon1102 - I'm not sure I understand your question, Dillon. All of the characters in this fan-fiction are original and created by me. I'm assuming you're referencing Master Quest as in the Pokemon season? Either way, Ryo is an original character, but thanks for viewing my fan-fic!

I will have the next chapter up shortly once I get done editing guys! Thanks so much!

~TK
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Old October 28th, 2013 (07:45 PM). Edited November 30th, 2013 by TurtleKing.
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Chapter 5: Night in the Woods, Part I
It had been a little over a week since Ryo met with Len about possibly training together. He and Duke decided to train together the weekend prior, but it ultimately led to them tussling with each other. Ryo complained that Duke was not taking their training session as seriously as he was, while Duke stated that Ryo never wanted to do anything else other than train. A clash of two ideas, no doubt, but some time away from the academy probably did both of them good.

It was a Saturday night in mid-October, meaning that class had been going on for about a six weeks. Given that they had attended several classes throughout these first few weeks, the First Years were now adequately prepared to experience their first night of travelling on the mainland. Journeying 101 was only held once a month, starting this month likewise, and many of the First Year students were excited about getting the chance to experience the wild on their own.

Students were assigned to groups of three Trainers and had the freedom to choose who they wanted to partner with during this first session. Ryo and Duke, obviously, immediately paired up, but the question remained as to who would be the third member of their group. As the First Years departed from the front lawn of the main building towards their chosen camp destination, Ryo and Duke stood, looking around for the third member of their group. Professor Branch, the Journeying 101 instructor, looked at them with a confused look on his face.

"What are you boys waiting for?" said the short, chubby man with big goggles on his forehead.

"We don't know who the third member of our traveling group is," Duke replied, shifting the weight on his backpack. "I don't think we were ever assigned another guy."

Ryo nodded in approval.

"Ah... you're Group 3 if I am not mistaken," said Professor Branch as he took out a sheet of paper with all of the names of the groups on it. He took out his flashlight and shone it over the paper and read the names, "Ryo... Duke... and... Sophie." He looked up and looked around.

"Sophie?" Ryo inquired. He looked at Duke and said, "The pink-haired girl from our battling class?"

"Oh man... she's weird," Duke shook his head and raised his eyebrows at Professor Branch. "On second thought... I think that Ryo and I will be--"

"I'm so sorry I'm late!" said a voice coming from the front doors of the main building. The double sliding doors slid open as a girl with long pink hair down her back jogged towards them before catching her breath. She blushed lightly as she bowed her head saying, "I-I was w-working with Professor Gregory on a few things for Pokemon Anatomy and Physiology and lost track of time. Please forgive me!"

Duke had an unimpressed look on his face he leaned over to Ryo and muttered, "And she hangs out with Professor Gregory? Yeah, one hundred percent weird."

Ryo glanced at Sophie and chuckled at Duke's comments before he was interrupted by Professor Branch's words.

"That's alright, Sophie. Ryo and Duke will you be your travelling companions for this evening into the morning. I have decided to assign you three to the Mountain Area just outside of the Forest Area. There is a tunnel that you three could possibly find residence in or you could find another place to sleep for the night. Be careful! Wild Pokemon can appear in the grass or caves!"

----------

The trio of Trainers finally headed out towards the Mountain Area together in the night. Ryo released Domo from his PokeBall, knowing that the Houndour would enjoy the darkness and the moonlight; Duke decided to keep his Pokemon inside of their PokeBalls; Sophie had her Dratini, Minnie, draped around her neck in a fashion similar to a scarf.

Sophie walked ahead of Ryo and Duke as the two boys looked at each other, trying to figure out a way to break the ice with this bashful girl.

"Say something," Duke whispered to Ryo.

"You say something!" Ryo whispered back.

"You're friendlier than I am."

"You're better with words than I am."

"Rock-Paper-Scissors?"

"That's a waste of time!"

"What if she casts a spell on us?"

"Now that's just dumb!"

"You're dumb!"

Before they knew it, Ryo and Duke were at it again as they wrestled each other to the ground. The commotion by the two boys had alerted Domo, who had been walking alongside Sophie. She was quite alright to the Houndour. Domo had turned around and noticed the two boys wrestling on the forest floor and then barked to Sophie who turned around. She appeared to be taken back by the physical altercation between the two boys.

"Umm... Excuse me..." Sophie said softly.

The two boys, of course, continued wrestling as they did not here Sophie's voice trying to get their attention.

"Excuse me?"

The tussling continued on as Domo sat on his hind legs, watching the battle unfold.

"STOP FIGHTING!" yelled Sophie, loud enough to probably wake up the entire forest of Pokemon.

Ryo and Duke immediately stopped the fight as they stared up at Sophie was looking down at them. Somehow, Minnie was still asleep on her shoulder. A soft smile emerged on Sophie's face.

"I-I think we should probably find somewhere to stop and set up camp. Fighting among ourselves will only lead us to danger... Right?"

The two boys nodded slowly, a bit of fear in their faces.

"R-right. I believe the mountains are up ahead. W-we should get going," Sophie smiled nervously as she looked down at Domo. "Come on Domo..."

Domo nodded and then flashed the two boys a happy look before trotting after the pink-haired girl.

Ryo exchanged looked with Duke as they both said in unison, "She's crazy."

----------

The trio of Trainers successfully clambered up with mountain a bit upon reaching it. They found a small cave with a bit of ground outside of it where they could set up their camp. They refrained from going inside since they were unsure of what Pokemon slept inside. Ryo used Domo in partnership with some wood to create a fire while Duke and Scizz caught food in the creek near the base of the mountain. Once Duke returned he prepared a meal much to Ryo and Sophie's surprise. Sophie was busy reading a book while Minnie was still asleep across her shoulders.

Duke gave Ryo look and nodded in Sophie's direction. Ryo mouthed the words "fine" before clearing his throat to speak to Sophie.

"Erm... so Sophie? We don't know much about you. Where are you from?"

Sophie looked up from her reading and gently closed her book, using her thumb to mark where she left off. "I'm from Kalos. I've been living there for about ten years now. We moved from Sinnoh when I was about four." She glanced up at Ryo and Duke before avoiding eye contact.

Duke lifted a brow at her and said, "Kalos, huh? Interesting. I've never been there before. But I hear that a lot of the Pokemon that are native there aren't native anywhere else."

"Th-that's right..." she said, opening her book again.

There was a moment of silence as she started to read again. Duke was preparing grilled Magikarp, avoiding any other questions to ask Sophie since she was so engaged with her book. Ryo sat beside a sleeping Domo as he rubbed his hands together before holding them to the fire. It was a bit chilly on this October evening.

"What Pokemon do you have, Sophie?" Ryo asked after finally thinking of another question. "I have, other than my Houndour, a Tangela and a Rufflet."

Sophie looked up from her book again and said, "Well, you've met Minnie, my Dratini. I also have a baby Joltik and a Ditto that I found lingering around the Anatomy lab the other day."

"Interesting," Ryo said in reference to her Ditto. "I hear Ditto are tough Pokemon to train. Of course they can use Transform, but their tricky."

"Yeah," Duke nodded. "There aren't too many Ditto Trainers out there."

"Well," Sophie said softly. "I felt kind of... o-obligated to capture it because... I don't know... I just thought it would help with my research with Professor Gregory and..."

"Ah, Professor Gregory," Duke exhaled in disdain. "His classes are so difficult. Who seriously has time to read his entire book?"

Sophie's eyes slightly widened as she blushed. She held her book tightly in her hands as she looked away saying, "I-I'm reading it again for the third time. It's a remarkable book. I-I think it's very important for the advancement in the study of Pokemon and..."

"Come ooon," Duke said as he finished preparing their meal. "That book is like... seven-hundred pages long. We've only been in class for about a month and a half and we have other class. Professor Gregory couldn't possibly expect us to complete that book by the end of this month. Let alone completing it almost three times."

Ryo gave Duke a "chill out" look as he looked at Sophie who appeared to be embarrassed by her own intelligence.

"You're right... I-I shouldn't be focusing so much of my time in books..." Sophie said, her voice trailing off. "Excuse me... I-I have to go get some air." She stood and walked off, leaving her book behind.

Ryo glared at Duke and said, "You didn't have to be so mean to her, Duke."

"I was being mean?" Duke said as he began to chop the Magikarp into bite-size pieces.

----------

About an hour had passed and Sophie still had not returned to the campsite. Ryo had fallen asleep immediately after finishing his meal and Duke followed suit right afterward. Domo curled up beside his Trainer to keep him warm but was woken up by a strange ultrasonic sound. Immediately alerted, Domo stood up and trotted over to the edge of the campsite, sniffing the air. He heard the sound again and walked over to Ryo, nudging the boy on the head before licking his cheek.

"Domo, go to sleep," murmured Ryo as he turned over in his sleeping bag.

Domo's ears shifted downward before shooting back up when he heard the sound again. Seeing that his Trainer would not be able to wake up, Domo decided to take matters into his own hands as he started sprinting down the path of the mountain towards the ultrasonic sound.

Once he got to the base of the mountain, Domo continued to follow the sound hearing it come from a pile of rocks near the beginning of the path. Domo barked before clawing at the rocks, throwing them out of the way to uncover what was making the irritating sound that had woke him from his slumber. After minutes of continuous digging, Domo finally saw what the cause of the apparent cry for help was. A small Whismur that was badly wounded from an apparent rock slide was buried beneath the rocks in appeared to be hanging on for dear life. Worried, Domo used his nose to gently roll the Whisper Pokemon onto his back and began to walk back up the path of the mountain to the campsite. Domo did not expect what occurred next to happen.

Whismur had regained consciousness and was under the impression that it had been attacked by Domo. Instantly, the Whismur opened its mouth unleashing a displeasing Hyper Voice that alarmed the entire area. Domo, struck by the attack, flew backwards with a thud and landed on the path. The Whismur was sent away as well in the opposing direction.

Back at the campsite, Ryo and Duke both were awoken by the Hyper Voice and held their ears until the screeching sound had ended.

"What the heck was that?" Duke said in a strained voice.

"I don't know," Ryo said baring his teeth. He looked to his side and noticed that Domo was gone. "Domo's gone missing!"

Duke looked around for Sophie and said, "And Sophie hasn't came back either. Oh man, this isn't good. Not good at all."

The two boys quickly stood as they put on their shoes preparing to go out and look for Domo as well as Sophie. Just as they prepared to set out, an extremely loud roar came from inside of the cave.

Duke turned to Ryo and said, "Please tell me that you didn't eat enough food before going to bed and that was your stomach growling."

Ryo shook his head as they heard a powerful series of stomps coming from inside of the cave nearing them at an alarming rate. The stomps proceeded to get faster and louder as time elapsed until an abnormally large Exploud came into the moonlight, unleashing a powerful roar at the two boys.

"I think that sound that woke us up came from this Exploud!" Duke shouted as he began to back away slowly.

"Let's not stick around for it to attack, come on we gotta move!" Ryo shouted.

The two boys immediately began to run away from the Exploud as the Loud Noise Pokemon began to pursue the two boys. The boys had a troublesome situation on their hands: Sophie was nowhere to be found, Domo had gone missing, and they were being chased by a Pokemon that apparently was disturbed in its sleep.
Next - Night in the Woods, Part II
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  #12    
Old October 29th, 2013 (10:28 PM).
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Okay, I'll review this latest chapter as Cutlerine has seemed to have covered the earlier ones.

Quote:
"I hear Ditto are tough Pokemon to train. Of course they can use Transform, but their tricky."
You used the wrong form of "their/they're/there". The form you were looking for was "they're" since it's short for "they are".

That's the only grammar mistake I found, so that's good. It's a good sign when the grammar section of these reviews is short.

As far as the story goes, I have to agree with Cutlerine. The flow is good, it's keeping me interested, and from an overall perspective, I have no qualms with the storyline. However, I do have a couple critiques.

Quote:
Domo's ears shifted downward before shooting back up when he heard the sound again. Seeing that his Trainer would not be able to wake up, Domo decided to take matters into his own hands as he started sprinting down the path of the mountain towards the ultrasonic sound.
I feel that you're telling here instead of showing. Instead of telling us that Domo wasn't able to wake up Ryo, why not show us? What did Domo do to wake up Ryo? How did Domo do it? Why did he reach the conclusion that Ryo wasn't going to wake up? Asking simple questions like why, what, when, where, and how can really help you show instead of tell. You are showing us in places, so I know you have the concept down, but I think you need to work on showing all of your story.

At the beginning of the chapter when the boys are picking out groups, I was a little confused. You said that the boys were picking their own groups, but when the boys had trouble picking out the third member, the professor had a sheet that made it seem like the groups were preassigned. I was wondering if there was a signup session earlier that the readers just didn't know about before. It just struck me as odd because the way the story was written, it seemed like the groups were decided right there on the lawn with no preparation.

Other than those things, a really nice story. I read the earlier chapters Sunday night and I would like to thank you for giving me something interesting to read during one of my insomnia attacks. I'm not sure if I'll be able to keep updated with future chapters because of college, but you can be sure I'll at least make an effort to read updates and provide feedback. You have a nice story going on and it would be a shame for me to miss it. I hope I helped and good luck with future chapters.
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Old November 9th, 2013 (08:16 AM).
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A bit of an update for everyone... I'm currently winding down my semester at school so my schedule is a bit hectic right now. However, I have completed a few chapters, I just haven't posted them or edited them yet. More than likely I will post the next two chapters tomorrow, just depends on my work schedule.

Thanks again!

~TK
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Old November 10th, 2013 (11:04 AM). Edited November 30th, 2013 by TurtleKing.
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Chapter 6: Night in the Woods, Part II
Exploud was in hot pursuit of the two boys as they descended the path down the mountain. Each wailing for their lives, Ryo and Duke ran as fast as they could while trying to avoid the Exploud's onslaught.

"Should we try to hold it off with our Pokemon?" Ryo asked, looking back at Exploud and then over at Duke as he ran beside him.

"Right now," Duke said, "I only have Swinus and Bass on me. Swinus is definitely no match for an Exploud at this stage and Bass is only useful when he's in the water!"

"Where's Scizz!?" Ryo exclaimed.

"At the Pokemon Center. I battled a guy earlier with him and he needed to recover. What about you? Why don't you use Moju or Abel?"

"Worth a shot maybe. Moju could probably hold it still!"

Ryo turned to face the incoming Exploud and took out a PokeBall, releasing his Tangela. Not expecting to battle in these conditions, Moju eyes widened as he saw that he was placed in a terrifying situation of a rampaging Exploud. Duke turned on his heel and decided that it would probably be best to help out Ryo as much as possible.

"Maybe I can get Swinus to stop it in it's tracks by freezing it. Let's go, Swinus!" Duke took out a PokeBall and released his Swinub.

Moju and Swinus stood side-by-side as Duke ordered Swinus to use Powder Snow. The little Swinub conjured up a wintry mix with his breath and shot a flurry of snow at the Exploud. The raging Exploud ran through the snow, Mega Punching Swinus directly in the snout. Duke quickly took out his PokeBall and returned Swinus before any further damage could be done to his young Pokemon. He looked to Ryo's Tangela to see if he could do better.

Moju, discouraged by what just happened to Swinus, closed his eyes tightly as Exploud unleashed a Hyper Voice attack. The force of the sound-based attack was so strong from Exploud's mouth that it sent back Ryo, Duke, and Moju. There was absolutely nothing that could be done to stop the Exploud.

----------

Sophie was sitting on the shore of the little creek where Duke had caught the Magikarp for their supper. She felt a bit embarrassed by the situation with the boys but knew that they were probably right. She was spending too much time in her studies and not enough time actually having fun.

"But reading... is so important to me. My family depends on my success here at Elite Academy," Sophie thought as she stared at the reflection of the moon in the water.

Minnie had ventured into the water and peaked her head up causing a ripple effect in the creek. A smile emerged on Sophie's face as her Dratini slithered ashore and curled into her lap. Sophie rubbed Minnie on the head as she looked up into the sky. She was not aware of what time it was, but she had been out here for hours, certainly. She wondered if Ryo and Duke noticed how long she had been gone. They had not gone looking for her so Sophie figured that they probably were asleep at the campsite.

"I should get going," Sophie thought to herself as she stood in stretched her arms. She noticed that Minnie was growing tired by the way that she yawned and returned her Dratini to her PokeBall.

Suddenly, there was an extremely loud sound that caused Sophie to cover hears and wince out loud. She had heard the sound before but figured she would ignore, but hearing the sound again gave her more reason to investigate what was going on.

Taking out another PokeBall, Sophie began to run towards the sound as she said to herself, "I hope Ryo and Duke are okay..."

----------

Silence was the best friend of Ryo and Duke as they found safe haven on the thick limbs of one of the tree in the forest. The large, autumn-colored leaves helped them hide as the Exploud continued rampaging below them. They had managed to evade Exploud, at the expense of Ryo's Tangela being defeated. There was no other option but to wait things out... up a tree.

Duke whispered to Ryo and said, "I told you... Sophie ditched us."

"I don't blame her. You told her off! You gotta work on your sentimental skills."

There was another roar coming from below them as the duo looked down and saw the Exploud looking up at them. Another roar escaped its mouth as it held out its arms, shaking its head rapidly.

"What is it trying to do?" Duke asked, standing up on the branch now.

"I don't know, but we're done for!" Ryo exclaimed as he too stood up to maintain balance.

The Exploud roared again before grabbing the tree's trunk and shaking it repeatedly. Ryo held on to the base of the tree, but Duke was not so lucky and ended up falling off and into Exploud's grasp. Ryo's gritted his teeth as he watched the Exploud immediately run off. Ryo, with no other choice but to try save his friend, hopped down and started running after the wild Exploud. As he was running, Ryo was caught off guard by the emergence of Domo, seemingly from out of thin air.

"Domo? Where have you been?" Ryo said as he ran alongside his Houndour.

Domo simply barked a bit at Ryo before running ahead of him after the Exploud that had Duke in its grasps. They were led out of the forest, back up the ascending path of the mountain, and returned to their campsite where... they were met by Sophie? The Exploud had stopped in its tracks beside Sophie, still holding on to Duke was a bit uncomfortable in the grasp of the Exploud. He soon was released and landed on his feet as he had an equally confused expression on his face. Sophie flashed a bashful smile as Ryo and Duke looked at her with the utmost confusion.

"Wait... this Exploud is yours?" Ryo asked.

"What kind of sick joke is this!?" Duke exclaimed, throwing his hands up.

"Um, it's not a joke?" said Sophie in a questioning tone. She looked to the Exploud before she realized something. "Oh! Meta, you can change back now."

Exploud's body began to seemingly melt down to a small size before completely transfiguring into a pink blob with beady eyes. It turned out that the Exploud was actually Sophie's Ditto, Meta.

After a moment of silence, Duke said again, "What kind of sick joke is this!?"

Sophie faced Duke as her Ditto hopped onto her shoulder. "The real Exploud is still out there, but Meta managed to hold it off for a while, just enough to rescue you and Ryo. Judging by the way it was acting... I think it lost it's child."

"How do you know that?" Ryo asked.

"Your Houndour told me," Sophie said to Ryo.

Ryo looked down at Domo, then at Duke, and then at Sophie. Was Sophie able to communicate with Pokemon?

"H-how?" Ryo asked.

Sophie shrugged bashfully and said, "I-I don't know. It's just something that I picked up. I wasn't always able to do it. It... just happened one day. It's not one-hundred percent communication, but... it's pretty close."

Duke rubbed the temples of his head as he said, "Okay, my mind is definitely blown right now. Angry Exploud parent, talking to Pokemon... ah man this is crazy. So what are we going to do now guys?"

Sophie nodded at Domo, "Domo told me that he did see a Whismur a few hours ago. He rescued it from underneath a pile of rocks," she said as she walked towards Domo. "Can you find the Whismur by scent?"

Domo barked as he sniffed around in a circle on the ground before darting off in the western direction. The trio of Trainers ran after the Houndour as they were in search of the Whismur.

----------

Domo led them deeper into the forest and stopped once he saw the Whismur from before lying on the ground still heavily damaged from the rock slide earlier. Once the trio of Trainers arrived on the scene, the Houndour gently nudged the Whismur with its nose before looking up at the Trainers, hoping that they could do something to save the poor Pokemon.

Sophie knelt down as she lifted the Whismur up. It was not conscious based on the relatively cool temperature that Sophie felt when her arms pressed against its body. She looked to Ryo and Duke for assistance.

"Do either of you have a Revive?"

Ryo shook his head and said, "Those things are very expensive."

"Yeah," Duke agreed, but took off his backpack and grabbed a bag from a side pouch. He reached into the pouch and pulled out a Revival Herb as he knelt down to the Whismur and said, "But I do have a Revival Herb that I was growing in our dorm room. It's bitter and Whismur will be a bit cranky when he wakes up, but it should heal him pretty well. Besides, I'm sure you'll be able to talk some sense into it when it regains consciousness."

Ryo smirked and folded his arms saying, "Since when did you become such an expert on medical stuff, Duke?"

Duke smirked back at Ryo and said, "My Dad's the League champion in Johto. I think I know a thing or two about the nurturing of Pokemon."

Focusing his attention back on Whismur, Duke crushed the Revival Herb in his hands before mixing it with some water he poured into the cap of his canister. After stirring it up a bit, Duke advised Sophie to open the mouth of Whismur and he poured the medicinally altered water down the throat of Whismur. After a few moments, the warmth returned to Whismur's body as it coughed violently before regaining consciousness. It immediately hopped out of Sophie's grasp, preparing to attack.

"Wait Whismur!" Sophie said, calming the Whisper Pokemon down. "We're your friends... we're not here to hurt you..."

Duke quickly reached into his bag as he flipped an Oran Berry at Whismur. It immediately grabbed the fruit and nibbled on it repeatedly before it was gone. After understanding that they were not going to harm it, Whismur squealed out loudly, which caused everyone to hold their ears. A few moments later, the familiar stomping sound could be heard as Exploud emerged from the other side of the forest. Seeing it's child, Exploud quickly ran over to the Whismur and hugged it tightly. Whismur said something to Exploud before it and its parent mumbled something to the Trainers. Afterward, the two Pokemon disappeared into the forest, leaving the trio of Trainers behind.

"What did they say?" Ryo asked, looking at Sophie.

Giggling, Sophie looked at Ryo and said, "I-I don't think it takes a genius to know that they thanked us."

"Well, at least we're not getting attacked anymore," Duke said, looking to the sky and noticing that the Sun was about to rise. "It's already morning? Man... what a night. I only slept for like an hour."

"Leeeet's not tell Professor Branch what happened to us out here," Ryo chuckled. "I think it's best if we keep this little adventure between us three."

They all nodded in agreement.

----------

After their night in the wild, all of the First Years had to report to Professor Branch's office the following morning to give him an update about how things went. Ryo, Duke, and Sophie, surprisingly enough, were the first to arrive at Professor Branch's office and the instructor could not be more surprised at how happy each of them looked to be around each other. There was certainly a different vibe among the three in comparison to when they met the night prior.

"You three seemed to have bonded pretty well," said Professor Branch as he stood from his desk. "How did your night go?"

The three looked at each other with jovial smiles. Ryo decided to speak first.

"Well, it certainly was interesting. We learned that Sophie was a pretty smart girl."

Duke nodded in agreement and said, "Yeah, she is. She's not as weird as I thought she was. Plus, Ryo's Houndour came through for us in a tough time."

Sophie smiled. "Duke's a really good chef too. He's also good at catching fist, growing plants, and all of that... outdoorsy stuff."

Ryo gently elbowed Duke and whispered to him, "If I didn't know any better, I'd say she likes you."

"Don't get ahead of yourself. She has a good relationship with your Houndour," Duke muttered back at Ryo, elbowing him as well.

"Splendid," Professor Branch said, cupping his hands together. "Since you three work so well together, I'll take it upon myself to say that you three shall work together for the remainder of the year how does that sound?"

"Sounds... great!" Sophie said with a bright smile.

"Great..." Ryo and Duke said in unison.
Next - Chapter 7: The Ditto Theory
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  #15    
Old November 10th, 2013 (11:51 AM).
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Nolafus
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A pretty good chapter and some definite strong points.

Quote:
Suddenly, there was an extremely loud sound that caused Sophie to cover hears and wince out loud. She had heard the sound before but figured she would ignore, but hearing the sound again gave her more reason to investigate what was going on.
The parts in bold is what I had trouble with. I think you meant "her ears" instead of "hears". Also, I have an issue with "wince out loud". No one can really wince in a way that produces any audible noise, so I'm not exactly sure what you're describing there. The last part I think you're missing an "it" after the bolded part, as it doesn't make much sense as it currently sits.

Quote:
The Exploud had stopped in its tracks beside Sophie, still holding on to Duke was a bit uncomfortable in the grasp of the Exploud.
I think you're missing a "who" between "Duke" and "was". It just seems weird without it, or something else there.

That's all I found for grammar.

I still feel like you're telling us the story. There are some moments when you're showing, so I would work on spreading it around the entire story. It's so difficult to do, so I wish you luck. I'm currently stumbling around trying to fix that in my own writing, so I've pretty much already given you all my knowledge on it. It's just something you have to remember to keep conscious while writing and try to improve on gradually.

I really like the way you directed this chapter. As I was reading, I was concerned about which way you were going to make them escape the Exploud. I was not expecting Sophie's ditto, and if you know me, then you know how much I love surprises while reading. I know this has been said before, but I'm also a fan of the way you describe the various attacks. It's just something that fits in great with your writing style.

Once again, good job on another chapter. It flowed, made sense, and had an unexpected way on getting out of a tight spot. I look forward to reading future installments.
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Old November 20th, 2013 (08:28 PM). Edited November 30th, 2013 by TurtleKing.
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Chapter 7: The Ditto Theory
"Have any of you ever wondered why there are so many Pokemon that look alike?"

There was an awkward silence as the class sat in the auditorium of the Pokemon Anatomy and Physiology class. Down towards the base of the room was a well-dressed man wearing a shirt and tie. He wore thin-framed glasses and had long brown hair that was back in a ponytail. The class he lectured was one of the largest classes offered for First Year students as it was one of the requirements for aspiring graduates.

Ryo and Duke sat near the top (considered the back) of the auditorium and Ryo was half-asleep during the lecture. Duke, meanwhile, was messing around in his Pokedex as he updated an entry about his Tympole, which he named Boom, as it had recently evolved into a Palpitoad.

Duke glanced up when he realized that Ryo's head had somehow landed on his shoulder. Was he drooling while he was asleep?

"Ryo, dude, wake up," Duke said as he nudged his best friend. Unfortunately, he wasn't moving. "Okay... upsidaisy!" He grabbed Ryo's head and sat the boy up straight in his chair. "I don't know how you even sleep in these uncomfortable seats. Must have been really studying hard last night."

Duke's attention went to the base of the auditorium as he saw Sophie scribbling something in her notepad. He shook his head.

"Of course, she sits in front of the class during Professor Gregory's lectures. I don't understand that girl sometimes. So weird..."

"Yeah but she's kind of nice..." Ryo said suddenly, waking up. Bags were apparent under his tired eyes.

"Dude don't scare me like that anymore!" Duke said loudly, which caused the rest of the class to shush him. "No, you shush!"

Professor Gregory glanced up at the sleeping Ryo and the shushing Duke as he carried on with his lecture. "Let's take a look at a few Pokemon, shall we?" He pressed button on his podium as a display screen came down from the ceiling on the back wall. Immediately, a picture of a few Pokemon emerged from the screen. "Here we have the Pikachu family, Minun, Plusle, Pachirisu, and Emolga. Note how each of these creatures are similar in type attribute, Electric, and share similar physical qualities. Their electric pouches are generally stored in their cheeks, they are each generally quick Pokemon, and behave in similar fashions."

"What's the point?" said one of the students in crowd.

Shooting the student a cold look, Professor Gregory responded, "The point is... we can better understand the origins of Pokemon by studying what Pokemon have in common with one another. One can truly not know Pokemon or be an expert about Pokemon without knowing where they come from and how they are not only similar to each other, but us as people as well." He clasped his hands together as he said, "Alright class you are dismissed. I expect a lab report about our discussions today by next class."

Sophie had made her way to the professor's desk, preparing to inquire about a question, but she was interrupted by his intentions on solving a mystery within his class.

"Ryo and Duke, could you please come speak with me?"

The duo were just about to exit class before they descended the steps and met with Professor Gregory and Sophie at his desk. By now the class had empty after the last student left and closed the door behind her.

"Yes, Professor Gregory?" Ryo asked, rubbing his eyes, trying his best to not look tired.

Professor Gregory gave Ryo a concerned look, "Ryo, why are you sleeping in my class? I hope it's because you're over-studying and if that is the case, I will have to put an end to this. Rest is very important for one's physical well-being."

"Oh, it's not that sir... I just, I've been training really hard for the First Year tournament, so I'm kinda... sleep deprived."

"Ah... I see. I'll have to tell Wood to lay off on being a bad influence on my students," Professor Gregory said in reference to Professor Wood, the battle professor. "And as for you, Duke. You're quite disruptive in my class. That will have to cease as well."

"Yeah, yeah..." Duke said looking else where as his voice trailed. "Won't happen again."

"Good," Professor Gregory nodded as he looked to Sophie. "You had something you wanted to talk to me about, Sophie?"

Sophie, this whole time, had been standing off to the side waiting for Professor Gregory to finish scolding her two friends. Once she was acknowledged, the pink haired girl walked up to Professor Gregory.

"Um, yes sir," she nodded. Sophie took out a PokeBall and released Meta, her Ditto, as it hopped onto the desk and stood there as if it was preparing to be examined. "I always had inquiries about Dittos and I was hoping you could enlighten me as to, well, what a Ditto really is?"

Professor Gregory smiled brightly as he said, "Ah... the Ditto theorem. That's always an interesting discussion." He looked to Ryo and Duke and said, "You two should stick around and listen. I won't mark down your grades for disrupting my class if you do so."

Ryo and Duke nodded as they stood, listening to Professor Gregory's statements about Ditto.

"Almost everyone knows that Ditto is a man-made Pokemon," Professor Gregory began. "And, of course, man-made Pokemon or chemically created Pokemon are becoming more and more frequent in the modern world. But years ago, the creation, or should I say the accident of creating Ditto, was a major scientific breakthrough. My father was one of the assistants to Blaine, the former Cinnabar Island Gym Leader and Pokemon genetics professor..."

----------

Years ago...

"My father, Professor Eugene Gregory, worked heavily in the operating lab. He was more of a hands on guy. They worked endlessly on Pokemon trying to figure out ways to create Pokemon not through natural selection, but by creating Pokemon."

A tall man with long brown hair to his shoulders was in a lab, staring through a microscope as he was attempting unite a DNA molecule to an atomic particle. "I'm attempting to combine a Rattata's DNA with this atomic particle in hopes that it will somehow grow exponential in the coming days," said Eugene to his assistants. "After so many failed attempts, I think it's safe to say that we're heading in the right direction.

"The Rattata experiment was a success in terms of the times. Of course, the thought of creating a living, breathing, and functioning Rattata certainly did not make sense. However, they succeeded in creating a... deformed Rattata. They named it Rattatwo."

In a small cage near the sink in the lab was an eerily deformed Rattata. Unlike a normal Rattata, this Rattata was partially discolored, it's eyes with beadier, and its body was much smaller than average. Nonetheless, Eugene admired his creation. "Rattatwo has been alive for about three weeks now. Although he's not as full as other Rattata's, Rattatwo is a sign in the right direction for us as scientists."

"Five weeks. Five weeks was considered to be an amazing lifespan for a man-made Pokemon. Rattatwo, however, could not survive in this world due such diminished DNA from the original Rattata. It died. My father buried him in our backyard. Rattatwo was his life; his treasure. He mourned but his colleague, Blaine, brought forth good news."

"Eugene!" Blaine said, bursting into the laboratory.

Eugene looked up from his microscope and said, "Yes?"

"Remember that organization we partnered with for catching Pokemon for experiments?"

"Team Rocket, right?"

"Right, well. They somehow managed to capture, get this, Mew! And they heard about your Rattatwo and want us to try to extract Mew's DNA to clone it. Their willing to make us rich. Millions upon millions of dollars we're talking about here!"

A smile emerged on Eugene's face, "Really?"


"Mew... The New Species Pokemon. It was remarkable that Team Rocket somehow managed to capture it, the life blood of all Pokemon. My father, Blaine, and many other scientists began to work on extracting Mew's DNA but the process was as tough as Mew was strong."

Mew lay floating in a plasma chamber as several scientists surrounded the tube. One of them attempted to make an incision on the Pokemon, but a wave of psychic energy blew them all backward, completely destroying the lab.

"The lab was destroyed, so my father offered to move the operations to our mansion on the other side of Cinnabar Island. He immediately told my mother and I that we had to move so he shipped us to the Seafoam Islands while he and his fellow scientists continued to work on Mew what seemed to be for many years. Finally, they managed to make a breakthrough... but it wasn't the breakthrough that they expected. They were successful at extracting Mew's DNA, but the result was, well..."

"Clear for incubation! Now!" said Eugene as a laser from above several tubes of embryo's shot a warm energy beam towards an opening in each of the holsters. Immediately, pink energy formed within the containers as onlookers admired the successful experiment. Soon, the form of many small Mews appeared in the containers and were met with a cheerful roar.

A man dressed in a dark suit with a crimson R on the chest of it shook hands with Eugene saying, "Congratulations, Eugene. Your services are greatly appreciated by Team Rocket."

However, each of the Mews' bodies began to melt away into thick blobs of liquid. The Mews' blue eyes turned into beady ones and it's cat-like body turned into a slimy figure. The attempted sounds of a 'mew' from the deformed creatures sounded more like a 'ditto'. Soon, the blobs burst out of their containers and began multiplying like crazy. The scientists and Team Rocket members dispersed from the mansion as the blobs overtook the mansion.


"Unfortunately, it took the efforts of many of the Trainers in the city as well as Blaine's Fire-type Pokemon to tear down the Pokemon Mansion as well as defeat most of the Dittos. Some of them still reside there now but others have been captured, relocated, and what have you. If you consider Ditto, it shares the same color as Mew, both are the only Pokemon capable of using Transform, and both weigh about 9 pounds. Basically, Ditto truly is a failed Mew..."

----------

"What happened to your father?" Sophie asked.

"He was driven insane by his failures. Team Rocket, of course, broke their contract with him after the Ditto outbreak and I haven't heard or seen from his since," Professor Gregory replied. "Team Rocket was successful at cloning Mew, of course, into Mewtwo, but they were defeated and apprehended before they could do any damage. No one knows where Mewtwo is to this day, after it disappeared from a cave in Cerulean City, Kanto. It's amazing that such an intriguing Pokemon like Ditto came from all of this mess."

Ryo was amazed by Professor Gregory's story, honored at the fact that he was in the presence of a man who's father helped create a unique Pokemon like Ditto through a complete accident.

"That's... crazy," Duke said. "But it's still pretty awesome. I guess it's kind of unfortunate that your father disappeared like that. Do you think he's dead?"

"Duke!" Ryo elbowed him.

"What?"

Professor Gregory chuckled and said, "It's alright. I've mourned long enough. I've learned that if you dwell on something you can't control for too long, you'll end up depressed. I'm at peace with my father's destiny, whatever it may have been."

Sophie rubbed her Ditto on top of its head as it squirmed up her arms before resting on her shoulder. "Well, I'm glad your father accidentally created Ditto. Meta's a very cool Pokemon. It helped save us when we were attacked by a Loudred, right guys?"

"I guess you could say that," Duke said with a shrug. Ryo simply nodded.

Professor Gregory smiled and said, "That's good to hear. Well, I've talked long enough. You three get out of here and enjoy the rest of your day."

----------

"For a serious guy, Professor Gregory's kind of cool," said Ryo as he, Duke, and Sophie made their way to the Pokemon Center to relax for a while.

Sophie smiled and nodded saying, "Yeah, he's my favorite Professor."

"I bet," Duke said rolling his eyes. "Have you guys signed up for the First Year tournament? It's coming up next week."

Sophie nodded and said, "Isn't today the deadline to sign up?"

"Yup, at four o'clock?"

"Oh crap," Ryo said to himself, remember his conversation with Len. "What time is it now?"

"You've got about ten minutes to run to the other side of campus and sign up. Hurry!" said Duke.

Ryo nodded as he took off sprinting, "See you guys later!" He shook his head as he continued to run down the hall. "I definitely gotta get some sleep tonight!"
Next - Chapter 8: Friends and Enemies
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Old November 22nd, 2013 (11:54 AM). Edited November 30th, 2013 by TurtleKing.
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Chapter 8: Friends and Enemies
Ryo was not sure what exactly happened to Domo or, rather, what attacked the Houndour while he was out training. The entire scene was a complete blur.

He sat inside the Pokemon Center, glancing up at the television screen as it displayed an electronic bulletin board about the upcoming events at Elite Academy. Of course, midterms were slowly approaching as well as a few activities for the older students, but the most important event that Ryo had his mind on was the First Year tournament. He had managed to, in the nick of time, sign up for the tournament and wondered what lay ahead for him. For now, he was really worried about his Houndour's health.

Suddenly, the sliding doors at the front of the Pokemon Center open and a familiar faced walked. It was Len! Ryo looked up quickly as he saw the Third Year student hand over six PokeBalls to the nurse at the counter. After a brief conversation with the nurse, Len nodded at her before glancing over at Ryo, a small grin appearing on his face. He made his way over to the waiting section as he sat down in front of him.

"Hey how's it going Ryo?" Len said.

"You remember my name?" Ryo answered.

A questioning look appeared on Len's face. "Was I supposed to not remember?" he chuckled.

Ryo laughed along with Len as he said, "Ah, it's nothing. I just thought that someone like you wouldn't remember me, you know, a First Year student with one star."

"Well, you introduced yourself to me before. I'm relatively good with names," Len said and nodded. "How's the first half of your semester going for you?"

"It's going..." Ryo said with a chuckle. "I'm getting better at training my Pokemon, that's for sure. The curriculum and the studying and the late nights... that's the hard part."

Len laughed and shook his head, "Yeah, I definitely agree. Certain things about being a Pokemon Trainer you can't learn from reading a book. You just gotta go out there and learn it yourself." He paused for a moment before asking, "Healing your Pokemon party here I'm assuming?"

"Oh, no," Ryo said. "My Houndour got scratched across the eye earlier today. It was a pretty bad scar too. I just brought him here before it gets infected or anything..."

Len tilted his head, puzzled by Ryo statement. "What Pokemon scratched your Houndour's eye?"

"I don't know," Ryo said. "I'm assuming a forest Pokemon since that's where we were training. But it was so fast, all you could see was a blur. Once it scratched Domo across the eye, the blur vanished."

"Hmm," Len said, stroking his chin.

Soon, a doctor came out of the operating room with Domo. There was a bandage over the Houndour's right eye as he eventually ran over to his Trainer and nuzzled his face against Ryo's leg. Ryo smiled as he rubbed Domo behind the ear, causing the Houndour's leg to thump on the ground repeatedly as it usually did when Ryo rubbed him.

"Your Houndour is going to be just fine," said the doctor. "He'll need a day or so with that patch over his eye so that the wound can close up, but that scar will remain. However, he won't catch an infection since you brought him here promptly after it happened. But I don't want him participating in any more physical activity until tomorrow."

"Yes sir. Thank you, doctor," Ryo said as he stood and looked down at Len who was still sitting. "I've gotta run and catch Duke so that we can train together before the tournament. Will you be there to watch?"

"Sure thing, kid," Len said, giving him a thumbs up. "Good luck, see you then."

----------

Earlier in the day, Ryo and Duke had agreed to meet in Practice Stadium One to have a light training session with their Pokemon. Ryo and Duke practiced with each other frequently in order to hone their skills but they also did this because it was always fun practicing and sparring with each other. Often, they would get a small crowd, particularly because people wanted to watch Duke, but Duke would be the first one to say that he "wasn't all that good at being a Trainer" despite his natural ability.

A smirk appeared on Ryo's face as he entered the training facility, hearing the sounds of a battle going on. However, he was not met with Duke battling or even their distant friend Sophie; he was met by two Trainers battling with a crowd of three other students watching. The appearance of Sableye on the battlefield could only mean one thing...

"It's Kelly again..." Ryo said as he watched the battle come to an end.

"Feint Attack, Gemma!" Kelly commanded her Sableye.

Gemma disappeared from in front of her opponent, a Growlithe, and reappeared behind it, scratching it across the back. The Growlithe collapsed to the ground defeated. The crowd of three applauded Kelly has her opponent returned her Growlithe to its PokeBall, ran past Ryo in tears, and disappeared out of the facility.

Ryo quirked an eyebrow as he saw Kelly walking over to her comrades as they praised her.

"You showed her Kelly!"

"Yeah, that'll teach her not to cross us anymore."

"She wasn't a fit with us anyway."

Kelly smirked at her friends and said, "You're too kind. Come on, let's get out of here before someone else shows up..." She turned and led her friends towards the exit, but Ryo stood in their way. "...oh it's you again. The boy who I beat in that battle in Professor Wood's class. Here for a rematch, I assume?"

"My name is Ryo," he said in response to Kelly referring to him as 'boy'. "And, no, I'm not here to battle you. I was looking for my friend, Duke."

"The blond guy?" Kelly chortled. "I find it interesting that he even wastes his time with you. I guess he doesn't realize that he's stunting his growth by being around you."

Ryo gritted his teeth as he clenched his fist. He never felt like punching a girl before, but Kelly was pushing his buttons and it seemed like she sincerely was not even trying to do so based on her carefree expression.

"But, if you are looking for him, we last saw him on the front lawn," Kelly said walking past Ryo as her 'bodyguards' purposely bumped into Ryo, causing him to stumble back. "See you at the tournament... if you're good enough to make it that far."

Ryo caught himself from falling as he turned to face the group. "I don't like them..."

----------

Ryo went searching for Duke pretty much everywhere Duke could possibly be. He was not on the front lawn as Kelly had suggested; he was not in their dorm room; he was not in the Pokemon Center; and he was not even in the cafeteria. Ryo eventually gave up in searching and found himself sitting in the courtyard at the back of the central building. He sat on a bench as he stared into at the fountain lost in thought. Soon, his mind wandered away from where Duke was and focused more on the preparations for the tournament next week.

"Mid-terms are this," Ryo thought to himself, "so I will have time to train this weekend. If only Duke was here so we could properly prepare. Maybe I should train with someone else, hm?"

"Hi, Ryo," said a voice from behind where Ryo was sitting.

He turned and saw Sophie walking down the steps, her Dratini draped around her neck.

"Hey Sophie," Ryo said as his eyes watched her until she sat down beside him. "What are you doing here?"

"I normally come out here to read during the evening hours... as the Sun goes down. Minnie likes it out here too," Sophie said as she rubbed her Dratini along her back. "What about you? I've never seen you here. Where's Duke?"

"Your guess is as good as mines," Ryo chuckled as he stood. "We were supposed to train but I guess he's got other things to do."

"Well," Sophie stood with an encouraging smile as she said softly, "it's not wise to train with the same partner over and over again. You should try training with different partners as much as possible. A-at least that's what Professor Wood spoke about in class."

"It's kind of hard when you don't have any other friends other than Duke," Ryo shrugged. "And Duke's got plenty of friends other than me."

"Well, I thought we were f-friends," Sophie said disappointingly as she glanced away.

Ryo realized he had hurt Sophie's feelings and quickly tried to fix, "Oh no, no! I didn't mean it like that Sophie!" He snapped his fingers, "In fact, you're the perfect partner for me right now! I would love to battle your Dratini!"

Sophie smiled, "Really?"

Moments later, Ryo and Sophie began a battle right there in the courtyard. Ryo decided to use his Tangela, Moju, against her Dratini. For most of the battle, the two Pokemon exchange a multitude of blows. Ryo was not expecting Minnie to be that strong of a Dratini, but he soon learned that Sophie's training was not to be taken likely simply because she was soft spoken. However, Ryo's Tangela had gained the upper hand shortly after being wrapped up by Minnie.

"Moju, Growth!" Ryo shouted as the Tangela's body began to grow considerably in size. Minnie eventually lost her grip on Moju as the Tangela knocked the Dratini off his body.

Increased in side now, Moju stared back at Minnie as he made a powerful sound. After moving its vines in a violent manner, the earth beneath Moju cracked open as a large rock ascended and floated into the air. Ryo was as shocked as to what was happening, but he continued to allow Moju to do whatever attack he was doing. Sophie stood there, mouthed gaped open, as Minnie waited for a command. She was prepared to dodge at any moment.

Moju unleashed the boulder towards the Dratini at an alarming rate, knocking her out instantly as the rock shattered into several pebbles on the ground. Sophie quickly returned Minnie to her PokeBall.

"Your Tangela is... strong," she said softly. "I think it just learned AncientPower."

"AncientPower?" Ryo said aloud to himself as he looked down at Moju before being distracted by an incoming twinkle in the sky. "Sophie watch out!"

Ryo dove forward as he tackled Sophie to the ground, landing uncomfortably. Once the dust settled, the two stood up as they saw a sleek Scizor standing in front of Moju, preparing to wage in battle. The Scizor slashed Moju across the body, sending the Tangela crashing into the fountain's water.

"Wait... is that Scizz?" Ryo questioned.

Duke emerged from the other side of the building, pointing at Ryo with hurtful intent. "Domo almost killed Swinus! Why would you leave your Houndour out to attack when it clearly was in an unstable condition!"

"Wait what!?" Ryo said with confusion in his voice. "Domo was with me the entire day to day!"

"Oh yeah?" Duke exclaimed. "Well, the school records show you're the only Trainer at Elite Academy who has possession of a Houndour. And Houndours are not native to the archipelago! Explain that!"

Ryo really could not explain it, but that was no reason for Duke to blame him for whatever happened to his Swinub. It also was not a reason for Duke to sic his Scizor on a defenseless Moju. Ryo immediately ran over to the fountain but he was immediately blinded by a shining white light that erupted from the fountain. Duke, Sophie, and Scizor shielded their vision as a large figure grew from the fountain, completely destroying it in the process. With the structure of the fountain gone, water continued to spurt from the pipe in the ground, causing an unnatural downpour in the courtyard, drenching the trio of Trainer's and the two Pokemon. Standing opposite from Scizz, was now a large Tangrowth. A beep came from Ryo's Pokedex:

"Tangrowth, the Vine Pokemon. Tangrowth is the evolved form of Tangela when it finally learns AncientPower. Even if one of Tangrowth's arms is eaten, it's fine. Tangrowth regenerates quickly and will go right back to normal."

"This changes nothing!" Duke shouted, as the water continued to sprinkle on them. "Scizz, Fury Cutter!"

Scizz crossed his claws, snapping them in an intimidating manner, as he dashed towards Moju, hacking at the Tangrowth's vines. As the Pokedex stated, the vine immediately grew back. Moju extended his arm as he grabbed Scizz and slammed the Scizor onto the ground repeatedly until Scizz managed to break free and took flight.

Standing behind Moju, Ryo shouted to Duke, "That couldn't have been Domo, Duke! You gotta believe me! I've been looking for you all day!" He shook his head as he balled his fists. "Well, this wasn't what I had in mind for training..."

Duke's face remained unchanged as he was still angered by what happened to Swinus. He commanded Scizz to make another move again as the Scizor swooped down towards Moju, his claws suggesting that he was about to do another Fury Cutter.

Suddenly, both sides were met with a power and forceful punch, sending Moju and Scizz flying in opposite direction, immediately knocking them into confusion. A Hariyama landed on the ground and held a fighting stance as Professor Wood emerged from behind where Ryo was standing.

"What's going on here?"

----------

"Ryo's Houndour almost killed my Swinub. Ryo wasn't around, but Domo was there trying to fully sink his teeth into Swinus! Then he just ran off out of nowhere!" Duke shouted as he, Ryo, and Sophie sat in Professor Wood's office.

"Professor," Ryo explained, "I've been with Domo all day and he hasn't been out of my sight! Domo was attacked in the forest too if it means anything! He's got the scar to prove it!"

"Of course he would have a scar if my Scizor whacked it across the head!"

"I'll whack you across the head!"

The two boys jumped at each other and began wrestling on the ground until Professor Wood's Hariyama picked the two boys up and kept them separated by grabbing each of them with one of its hands. Sophie watched in silence as her face blushed with embarrassment for her two friends.

"Settle down you two," Professor Wood stated. "Obviously something weird is going on here and the other professor's and I will have to investigate this. Now, if you two can't be cordial with each other, I'm going to have to ask Headmaster Beaugard to suspend both of you. It's bad enough the fountain in the courtyard was destroyed." Hariyama sat the two boys down in their seats again. "Now, return to your dorm rooms and if I hear a peep about you two fighting, I will send Hariyama your way. Do I make myself clear?"

The two boys mumbled in silence.

"AM I CLEAR!?" Professor Wood exclaimed.

"Yes sir," Ryo and Duke said in unison.

"Good, now get out," he said to the two boys. He looked at Sophie and said, "May I have a word with you for a moment Sophie?"

"Y-yes sir..." Sophie blinked as she watched her friends leave.

Next - Elite Academy: Volume 2!
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Old November 27th, 2013 (03:40 AM).
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Quick update to all my readers! The first chapter of Volume 2 will be released, hopefully, by December 9th. I'm spending another week around PC to look at some more stories in between my writing. Also, if you would be so kind, be sure to comment about what you liked and did not like about the first volume. This volume is known as the "Introductory Arc".

Volume Two will focus particularly on the First Year battle tournament since it is the only tournament of the fall semester. Hope you guys are excited for it!

~TK
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Old November 27th, 2013 (04:51 AM).
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Interesting! I can't wait to find out what actually happened in the forest. This is a really engaging fic, I'm enjoying it a whole bunch. I like the variety of characters and pokemon, and the fast pace of the story. Also the setting is really awesome? God, I wish I could go to elite academy!

one thing about the latest chapter...you reference Houndour getting a "scar" a couple of times: "It was a pretty bad scar too.", "so that the wound can close up, but that scar will remain", "...He's got the scar to prove it!", etc.

If Domo was just attacked the same day of this story, there's no way he'd already have a scar, you don't get one of those until the whole wound's healed and you've grown scar tissue over the injury.
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Old November 27th, 2013 (07:37 AM).
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Vociferocity View Post
Interesting! I can't wait to find out what actually happened in the forest. This is a really engaging fic, I'm enjoying it a whole bunch. I like the variety of characters and pokemon, and the fast pace of the story. Also the setting is really awesome? God, I wish I could go to elite academy!

one thing about the latest chapter...you reference Houndour getting a "scar" a couple of times: "It was a pretty bad scar too.", "so that the wound can close up, but that scar will remain", "...He's got the scar to prove it!", etc.

If Domo was just attacked the same day of this story, there's no way he'd already have a scar, you don't get one of those until the whole wound's healed and you've grown scar tissue over the injury.
I probably should have rephrased it, but I understand what you mean. In the Pokemon world, Pokemon heal a bit faster than animals and the healing technology is pretty advanced, but I do understand your statement. Nonetheless, thanks for the review! :-)
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Old November 27th, 2013 (04:13 PM).
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I get what you're saying, but you have the doctor say something to the effect of "the wound will heal, but the scar will remain" - are there two injuries? One that healed, and one that didn't? I think it could stand to be clearer in the story
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Old November 29th, 2013 (09:00 PM).
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I think the doctor meant, and this is what got from it the first time. The wound is going to heal but there will be a scar.
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Old November 30th, 2013 (07:09 PM).
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After some thought, I have decided that I will edit each of the chapter titles and replace them with more creative titles. This way, the attention will deviate away from a "Pokemon of the Chapter" plot and focus more on the actual plot itself. Wish me luck on naming these chapters successfully!

As a reminder, Volume 2 will begin later on next week (December 6th or 7th depending on my editing process) and will primarily focus on the First Year battle tournament. Another update, Volumes 1 through 3 will focus on the first year at Elite Academy for Ryo and the gang, thus there are two volumes remaining. The first post will be updated with chapter names and such, and the trainer cards have been updated if you haven't already noticed.

Thank you and please continue to read and comment! I enjoyed this past week in reading a bunch of other stories here on PC and I must say that activity is slowly but surely starting to pick back up! I will now return to my story and continue to try to entertain everyone!

~TK
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Old December 1st, 2013 (04:42 PM).
Sam89
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I just started reading and I'm hooked on this series. I saw a couple of flaws, none that weren't pointed out already, but it's still good. I look forward to your next chapter.
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Old December 2nd, 2013 (10:36 PM).
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Great Story, I'm getting a small Harry Potter vibe from it that I kinda like. Waiting for Volume 2. :D
I've never really read any fanfics before this and I have to say I'll probably start reading more thanks to this.
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