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  #26    
Old October 16th, 2013, 05:53 PM
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I think this is the best punishment for this action. Humility is the best punishment because it usually ensures they won't do it again.

This parent is smart. That child best be learning though.
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  #27    
Old October 16th, 2013, 06:17 PM
Kanzler
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Humiliation and humility are two different things. One doesn't necessarily lead to another.
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  #28    
Old October 16th, 2013, 06:20 PM
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Originally Posted by BlahISuck View Post
Humiliation and humility are two different things. One doesn't necessarily lead to another.
can u please explain? cause they pretty much seem to go hand in hand to me
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  #29    
Old October 16th, 2013, 06:28 PM
Kanzler
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Just because they're spelled the same doesn't mean they have similar connotations. Humiliation is taking away of someone's pride. We would put humiliation among things like degrading a person or disrespecting their dignity. Humility on the other hand is modesty, not showing off, not trying to act like you're better than other people - the important thing here is how you act with respect to other people.

I can humiliate someone and two things can happen: either I destroy their self-esteem and have them afraid of me, so they're too meek to act out again, or I give them an excuse to have a grudge on me and they certainly won't have humility, at least not to me - because they'll try to best me and act out even more.

An important part of humility is not making others feel bad by respecting yourself and other people. Humiliating others is not part of being humble, at least not in my books. It's just a power play.
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  #30    
Old October 16th, 2013, 07:05 PM
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Originally Posted by BlahISuck View Post
Just because they're spelled the same doesn't mean they have similar connotations. Humiliation is taking away of someone's pride. We would put humiliation among things like degrading a person or disrespecting their dignity. Humility on the other hand is modesty, not showing off, not trying to act like you're better than other people - the important thing here is how you act with respect to other people.

I can humiliate someone and two things can happen: either I destroy their self-esteem and have them afraid of me, so they're too meek to act out again, or I give them an excuse to have a grudge on me and they certainly won't have humility, at least not to me - because they'll try to best me and act out even more.

An important part of humility is not making others feel bad by respecting yourself and other people. Humiliating others is not part of being humble, at least not in my books. It's just a power play.
umm... ok: Part temp.

first paragraph. Humiliation is to degrade and take away pride yes. that way they can actually learn humility. usually what keeps someone from humility is pride (they are opposites)

How about a third usage in humiliation. they learn humility because they're self-esteem (pride) has been lowered. Then they thank you because of what you have done. in fact too much confidence on something is so bad. (you think ur so good you don't need to be better)

Humility actually is a level you hold yourself too. it affects how to act to people, but it isn't about other people. Acting humble is like showing how less you are instead of how more. Like if you think u did a good job or not.

Also, u seem to think humiliation is all bad. when its not. when People truly feel humiliation, its a lowering experience. like when someone Thought they owned everything, then realize they only own a part of something, they are experiencing humiliation.

Your first example however, u didn't humiliate them, you seemed to scare them. then in your second example, you seemed to have angered them
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  #31    
Old October 16th, 2013, 07:34 PM
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We need to teach our children that our bodies are not objects that we should use to exploit ourselves and others.
And then everyone turns 16. And no one has any problem with exploiting their own bodies anymore. What, you think punishing your child is going to make them have any less hormones when they get older? No, it isn't. When you have sex literally atleast once every month (and don't say that most parents don't), and then tell your children sex is bad, you're a hypocrite. When you tell your child that twerking is bad but do it yourself at parties or whatever, you're a hypocrite.

I find it hilarious when people at age 20 are appalled at 18 year olds having sex, 18 appalled at 16 having sex, 16 at 14, 14 at 12, 12 at 10, etc. All it is is people not being able to deal with their own insecurities, due often based on psychological reasons - like "I don't want my daughter to be a pregnant teen like me" or "Oh my I'm sure that grown man next door will rape my daughter since I feel he looks at everyone perversely" or things like that. And yet, when you see people that have no insecurities, you'll find they aren't hypocritical and they let everyone do whatever they want without going in and screwing up others' lives.
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  #32    
Old October 16th, 2013, 07:45 PM
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Originally Posted by AzuGazer View Post
umm... ok: Part temp.

first paragraph. Humiliation is to degrade and take away pride yes. that way they can actually learn humility. usually what keeps someone from humility is pride (they are opposites)

How about a third usage in humiliation. they learn humility because they're self-esteem (pride) has been lowered. Then they thank you because of what you have done. in fact too much confidence on something is so bad. (you think ur so good you don't need to be better)

Humility actually is a level you hold yourself too. it affects how to act to people, but it isn't about other people. Acting humble is like showing how less you are instead of how more. Like if you think u did a good job or not.

Also, u seem to think humiliation is all bad. when its not. when People truly feel humiliation, its a lowering experience. like when someone Thought they owned everything, then realize they only own a part of something, they are experiencing humiliation.

Your first example however, u didn't humiliate them, you seemed to scare them. then in your second example, you seemed to have angered them
No, humiliation usually involves making people feel like ****. I'd like to believe you can teach somebody to be humble without doing so. Anyways, it's not like this girl is arrogant or anything, this is about humiliation not humility. There's no evidence to say that she thought she was "all that".
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  #33    
Old October 16th, 2013, 07:54 PM
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It's good and bad, koff~

All forms (nearly all forms) of punishment have their meaning. Some are less effective than others. This punishment may prevent her from doing stuff in the future, koffi~
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  #34    
Old October 16th, 2013, 09:08 PM
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Originally Posted by BlahISuck View Post
No, humiliation usually involves making people feel like ****. I'd like to believe you can teach somebody to be humble without doing so. Anyways, it's not like this girl is arrogant or anything, this is about humiliation not humility. There's no evidence to say that she thought she was "all that".
of course people feel like poop. what they thought before is now seen to them as wrong because of the humiliation

u don't have to do anything to anyone to make them feel anything. which must mean everything anyone does in unnecessary.

This Parent was being every effective in using that method to assure dat girl won't be shaming.

i mean she is 12. clearly the parent saw this and wasn't having any of that. she needs these lesson this early, easier to learn.

the humidity she learn is to think "is this what my parents would be ok with?" sometimes. very good life lesson
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  #35    
Old October 17th, 2013, 07:56 AM
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Originally Posted by Rezilia View Post
And then everyone turns 16. And no one has any problem with exploiting their own bodies anymore. What, you think punishing your child is going to make them have any less hormones when they get older? No, it isn't. When you have sex literally atleast once every month (and don't say that most parents don't), and then tell your children sex is bad, you're a hypocrite. When you tell your child that twerking is bad but do it yourself at parties or whatever, you're a hypocrite.

I find it hilarious when people at age 20 are appalled at 18 year olds having sex, 18 appalled at 16 having sex, 16 at 14, 14 at 12, 12 at 10, etc. All it is is people not being able to deal with their own insecurities, due often based on psychological reasons - like "I don't want my daughter to be a pregnant teen like me" or "Oh my I'm sure that grown man next door will rape my daughter since I feel he looks at everyone perversely" or things like that. And yet, when you see people that have no insecurities, you'll find they aren't hypocritical and they let everyone do whatever they want without going in and screwing up others' lives.
I doubt that no one cares about a person's sexuality when they turn 16; parents still regard their children as children and while some may be a bit less involved in their children's lives, I sincerely doubt that most (or all, as you're claiming) parents find that their daughters and sons sexual experiences at any age to be appropriate before adulthood. When you are 11-14 years old, you are NOT mentally mature enough to make decisions about sexual activity; as I had said before, you are not mentally mature until you are 25, but being an 11 year old engaging in sexual conduct is not acceptable. These children will most likely not understand the necessity for protection; they may not see or know there are consequences to such actions. A good parent understands this and will not just try to shield their child from behaviors that may create permanent consequences but also try to teach them that some activities are not meant to be engaged in by children and that as they grow older, they will become more mature and will be more able to make these life-changing decisions while understanding the risks and rewards.

I think you're a bit confused about parenthood. A parent that tells a child sex is "wrong" is different from a parent who tells a child sex is "for adults" or "not acceptable for your age". To say something is "wrong" means that it should never be attempted; if the child's parents are having sex while they are telling their child it is wrong to do so, then yes, they are being hypocritical. But an adult parent who tells their child that sex is not meant for someone of their youth is not a hypocrite; they're simply trying to warn their child about the consequences and that it's not always a good thing to grow up too fast.

If you think that a child acting in a sexualized way is okay, then I think perhaps you need to rethink what you are saying. Not all adults sexualize children, but those who do would be more inclined to act upon those desires when they see children as young as 11 participating in actions that are adult and insinuate sexual activity. It is not really a matter of insecurity; having sex is a MASSIVE responsibility and when a child is still young enough to throw tantrums, there is no way that we as mature adults should allow them to become sexually active or act in a sexualized manner. It's simply not responsible.
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  #36    
Old October 17th, 2013, 07:59 AM
Kanzler
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I don't think twerking is that sexualized, tbh. It has a sexual inspiration, but as it gets more and more mainstream, it becomes just a dance.
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  #37    
Old October 17th, 2013, 10:00 AM
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Originally Posted by BlahISuck View Post
I don't think twerking is that sexualized, tbh. It has a sexual inspiration, but as it gets more and more mainstream, it becomes just a dance.
I agree that most people doing it probably aren't thinking of it as a sexual thing, but that doesn't mean that people viewing it will think the same way. There's a dissonance going on. Us more experienced older people look at a 12 year old and say: "Why are you doing that? Kids that age shouldn't be doing sexual things." We're afraid it'll lead to something they aren't ready for even if that's not their intention at all.
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  #38    
Old October 18th, 2013, 08:02 AM
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Originally Posted by BlahISuck View Post
I don't think twerking is that sexualized, tbh. It has a sexual inspiration, but as it gets more and more mainstream, it becomes just a dance.
I'm sorry, but popping your ass back isn't at all sexual? Let's go back in time... Even Elvis Presley's hip swaying movements back in the 60s was (and still is) sexual. I think it more has to do with how "whorish" one looks. Look at the tango, for example.. one of the sexiest dances ever, yet since it's so elegant, it's widely accepted.

Who knows, maybe over time twerking will become just as accepted as the tango.
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