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Old November 12th, 2013, 05:03 PM
Krieg's Avatar
Krieg
THERE'S NO FENCE ON THIS FENCE
 
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Tennessee
Age: 15
Gender: Male
Nature: Rash
This is the collective of my writings here on PC. I write from poetry, short stories, songs, and anything you can think of.

Serieses (Not a word, but ♥♥♥♥ it.)
The Disturbed Chronicles [Currently in progress! 3/4 stories completed.]
The Black Veil [Currently in progress! 2/? stories/poems completed.]
Songs [I'm always writing more.. 4 total]
The Time of Camelot [0/26 completed. Don't worry about it.]

The Disturbed Chronicles Stories
Asylum
Indestructible
The Sickness
Full Circle [In Progress!]

The Black Veil
Perfect Weapon
Sweet Blasphemy
Saviour

Songs
Into The Darkness
Under The Veil
Come Clarity
Deliverance

The Time of Camelot
The Time of Camelot I - Silverthorn
Proposed:
____________________
The Time of Camelot II - Pandemonium
The Time of Camelot III - Epica
The Time of Camelot IV - Black Halo
The Time of Camelot V - Silverthorn II
The Time of Camelot VI - Karma
The Time of Camelot VII - March of Mephisto
The Time of Camelot VIII - Zodiac
The Time of Camelot IX - Soul Society
The Time of Camelot X - Pandemonium II
The Time of Camelot XI - Sacrimony
The Time of Camelot XII - Torn
The Time of Camelot XIII - The Confession
The Time of Camelot XIV - Center of the Universe
The Time of Camelot XV - Epica II
The Time of Camelot XVI - III Ways To Epica
The Time of Camelot XVII - Solitaire
The Time of Camelot XVIII - Silverthorn: The Third Coming
The Time of Camelot XIX - Journey Across The Lake of Avalon (The Final Journey)
______________________________________
The Disturbed Chronicles
Spoiler:

Rated R - VERY Violent themes. Read at your own risk. Content may be found by some as disturbing and overly cruel.
I wasn't ready.
Spoiler:
Chapter I - Krieger Beginnt
Spoiler:
Release me. No evidence was ever found, I'm free. Even though they never found anything, they still locked me in Asylum. Terror is coursing in me, thinking of the final moment when I have to feel you die, in Asylum. Forgive the lie, and release me. The terror of it all bringing a shock wave of hate through my body. Release me. My crime isn't real, it happened, but it's not real! They don't understand. My mind is turning into what they want. They wan't a Demon to fight. Asylum. Ha! I used to laugh at the thought that I would ever end up in here, but now, here I am, locked in Asylum. The very thought of it brings a sense of irony that makes me want to tear myself apart limb from limb.
Asylum, the once and future death-palace. The walls are red, not natural color. Blood. Everywhere. The cells that hold the uncontrollable, life-devouring beasts that stare at you with pure silver eyes, that tear out your soul and replace it with a tamed soul, one that will allow them into your mind and let them control you. Asylum. The very thought makes me laugh. I wasn't ready. Release me, you fiends!
Tonight. I can feel it. It will happen. They will mark tonight. It might be me, it might not. If it is me, I vow to kill myself before they can turn me, or if they do turn me, that I will destroy every last one of them.


Chapter II - Ill
Spoiler:
It was me, I knew it would be. They're taking me. The infection will begin. It will course through me, and turn me into one of them. I can't let it happen, I have to keep it from my brain.
They injected the serum. The silver liquid that seems to contain time and space itself. I feel it flowing in my blood. It's cool and flows easily. The container they had it in looked like one of those things they put blood in at a hospital. Its eating me alive.
Its taking over me. I can feel it in every part of my body. The Demon is rising in me. They will soon have a new Demon. The Wakers and Keepers will have to bow down to me. Is this really that bad of thing? I don't know anymore. I don't know who I am. Whats my name? Rick? Damion? I don't know.
It's done. I am a Demon. My blood red claws will tear into you and rip you apart piece by piece. The Wakers stop in their paths and stand aside in fear of me. The Keepers call on me in time of need. I feel different from the other Demons. I feel more powerful. I look more powerful. They all have skin tight hoods made out of skin, my hood is loose and is more of a cowl. They all have visible facial features under their hood, I don't. All you can see of my face is my eyes and mouth. They have silver eyes, and I have red-orange eyes. They have long claws with small arm muscles. I have shorter claws but much more powerful arm muscles. I have chain-link bracelets on my wrist. They have leather ones. I'm faster than they are. They all have "CR-XXXX", where the XXXX part is a number, written on there backs. I have "AR-2" on my back. I also have "Deum de Messores Duo" written on both of my forearms. They don't call me "Demon", either. I'm called "Reaper". What any of this means, I don't know.


Chapter III - Lifted
Spoiler:
I am the warrior. I am the one. Raise your fist in salute. I am god. I am all. I am the Warrior. As I look upon you through the warrior's eyes, I can see my victory this time. I have no need for guidance. I'm one with the warrior inside, my dominance can't be denied. As you stare into my eyes, your entire world turns into a battlefield. I can see the fear that will ensure my victory. I am an indestructible master of war.
They did something more to me. I am no longer "Reaper" I am "Warrior". I am the first of my kind. I am the strongest in Asylum. I control even the most powerful of Demons. I can not be defeated. My oath holds me high. I hold my oath.


Chapter IV - Left for All
Spoiler:
We ravage this world that we love, creating yet another way to die. I don't understand why we do what we do. We destroy all that we are given. We cause all these painful and slow deaths to ourselves. We are to blame.
I killed one. I killed a Demon. It denied me. It didn't listen. I snapped its neck. It fell over, dead. Its silver-serum blood dripped from it's mouth. They told me that I was correct in my decision, yet I feel like what I did wasn't right. I am only causing destruction here at Asylum. It's almost, though.
The fear of Asylum is shown with all of the arrives faces. They have true tread on their faces. I stand guard at the gate. I watch them fall into the pit of hell. A burden that I left them when I made the mistake. I committed a crime. One that ravaged everyone within a 10 mile radius. I've heard that in that area, lots of crime sprees have been popping up. It's all my fault. I created another way to die.


Chapter V - Maniac
Spoiler:
They've struck it. I'm done here. I'm escaping. My name is Serpentine. I am a Demon. I am a Reaper. I am the Warrior. I am Serpentine. I used a demons blood to enhance my own powers. It worked to an extent, but not as I expected. It worked beyond what I wanted. I've grown more powerful than imaginable. I call myself Serpentine. You can see my muscles pulsing under my skin. They look like snakes. So, I call myself Serpentine.
They can see that I'm stronger, but they don't know what to do about it. They're awestruck. I am going to escape.


Chapter VI - Escape
Spoiler:
It's time.
I will run.
I will kill.
I will hide.
I will leave Remnants.
I will leave my mark on Asylum.
I will ravage the world above.
I will avenge the fallen innocent.
It's time.

I begin the run. I check every cell and look at every inmate. I say my last goodbyes to the Demons, Wakers, and Keepers. Serpentine is going to leave. Nothing can stop me.
I find the hole in the wall that they used for disposal of trash. I've looked through it before. It doesn't lead to a fire pit unlike popular belief. It leads up a tunnel and into a room guarded by Wakers. I crawl through the tunnels and take out all of the Wakers.
I have found the next step. I must go through the hallways and take out The Warden. I can take him. Hes no match for me. I am Serpentine. I make my way through the dark tunnels. Screams coming from every room I pass. One door has a sign on it that says "Beware of Serpentine.". I have made my mark. They are afraid. I continue down the hall. I come upon a door that is made of cast iron blood-stained metal. The phone rings inside. I try to open the door, but the sound of the phone freezes me. I don't know what it is. Finally, The Warden picks up the phone. I open the door.
He stares at me. He's taller, and stronger. But I'm faster. He can't keep up with me. It's a tough fight. I throw the first punch. He blocks it with ease. I grab his wrist that he used to block me. I bend it backwards until it snaps. He looks at me with trepidation. I can see it in his blue eyes, he wants me dead. He's scared of me. I take his wrist and pull it straight up until it snaps again. I let it fall. It hangs there like a leaf on a branch about to fall off. He takes it and snaps it back into place with terrifying ease. He grabs me by my neck and starts to squeeze. I can feel the life being taken out of me. He drops me.
I wake up. It was just a dream.
I follow exactly what I did in my dream, except I don't go to the warden, I go to the roof.
I'm standing on the edge of the roof. The dark building looms over the shadowed world. I can see lights in the distance. A town, a city. My goal. I jump off the roof and land on the ground.
I wake up. It was just a dream.
I try again. I crawl through the hallways into the kitchen. I find myself being pursued by someone with a chainsaw. I crawl through a morgue. He flips a switch on the side. The whole thing goes up in flames. I get pulled out. I'm alive, but burning to death. He takes his chainsaw and starts to saw through me. Finger by finger. Toe by toe. Arm by Arm. He saws me apart. I'm left with just my body and head.
I wake up. It was just a dream.
I wake up to a room filled with a white light that seemingly takes the life out of me. I can't go on in this room. I try to move. I'm tethered down to a chair. The straps are strong enough to bare even the force I can cause. Two men with needles come close to me. I growl at them with enough force to knock them down. They quickly get back up and rush to me. The inject a red serum into me. It has the exact opposite effect as the silver serum. I'm changing back. I'm going to be one of the common-grub in Asylum again. I can't take this. I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE.

Asylum. The worlds largest prison. The place where convicts go to die. The place where convicts are changed into an other-world monster. Asylum, your worst nightmare. Your final resting place. You'll stay here forever, in Asylum.

I hope you enjoyed Asylum. This story was based off of the album "Asylum" by Disturbed in 2010.
10 points to you if find out something about the chapters. Hint: Look carefully



Rated 16+ - Violent themes, language.
Spoiler:

Chapter I - What started it all…
Spoiler:
A piercing alarm shrieked in David’s ear. He turned over and slammed his hand down on the alarm, turning it off. He wandered into the kitchen to eat breakfast. His mother was sitting at the counter making some juicy, succulent bacon. He sat down at the counter, waiting to be served by his mother. His mother greeted him with a simple “Good morning.”.
He sat there, eating bacon. His thoughts wandered onto what his day at school might hold for him today. He thought that it would be a usual day in school, getting beat on by the bigger seniors and juniors, getting teased by everyone, and sitting alone at lunch. He almost felt like his life was useless, and that he was not needed in this world. No one he knew loved him, or even cared for him in the slightest.
David’s father died in war when David was 7. Today, he is 14. He’s a small, weak-willed freshmen. His mother is extremely abusive, and only provides him with his basic needs, which is perfectly fine, but she could afford to get him so much more. David feels that if he took his life, no one would care, or even notice that he was gone. Ever since his father’s death, he’s felt deeply depressed and had suicidal thoughts every night.
At school, David lived a very poor life. He found himself victim of bullying everyday. He was tired of it. He had to change. The only way he could think of doing this was taking a self defense class. This what started it all. The rampage, the insanity, the lust, all of it.


Chapter II - The First Day
Spoiler:
“Alright class, welcome to the beginning of your Kung-Fu career. I’m Master Kyōsei.”, the Master stated. “Now, lets get one thing straight right here, right now. You will NOT call me ‘Kyōsei’. You will call me Master. If you EVER call me Kyōsei, then you will be kicked out of the class. Understood?”
“Yes, Master.”. the group of children said.
“Good. Now, line up in a straight line by age.”
The children do as said.
“You,” Master Kyōsei points at David, the oldest in the class, “step forward and call your name, followed by age.”
David steps forward.
“David, age 14.”
“Amachua David. Thank you, and welcome to the class. Next!”

After all children have been called….

“OK class, lets get down to business. I will start by teaching you the many postures of Kung-Fu. The first pose…..”

After class….

“So, how was the class, David?”, asked David’s Mother.
“It was ok.”, David said.
“Only ok? You look like you enjoyed it.”
“Liked it.”
“Thats what I thought.”
“What are you making for dinner tonight?”
“Parmesan-Butter Noodles.”
“Again? Didn’t we have that, like, two days ago?”
“Its all I can afford at the moment, David.”
“I know….”
“Dinner will be ready in about thirty minutes.”
“Thanks, Mom.”


Chapter III - The First Fight
Spoiler:
“Hey David, how are those Kung-Fu classes going, huh?” Justin, one of David’s bullies, said.
“Pretty good.”, David replied.
“You think you can take me, little pussy?”
“Maybe.”
“Lets try.”
Justin punches David in the arm. David retaliates with an uppercut. The attacker knocks David on the ground and holds him there.
“Doesn't look like your classes are working, Davy.”
“F-f-f-f-uck o-o-o-off.”
“Why should I? You won’t do anything.”
David flips Justin beneath him.
“I told you to **** OFF!”
David starts wailing on Justin.
“S-S-STOP! I give up! I give up!”, Justin screamed.
“No. I've taken enough of your ********.”
David pushes harder on Justin’s chest.
Crack!
Justin coughs up blood in David’s face.
“DAVID! STOP!”, screamed Josh, one of Justin’s cronies, “HE WAS JOKING WITH YOU! JUST STOP!”
David lets off of Justin.
“Do you fear me?”, David asked.
“Yes….. yes…. yes…. yes yes yes yes a thousand times! I DO!”, Justin pleaded.
“Good. NEVER mess with me again, or you won’t be alive to see what happens to your friends.”

Justin lay there in a puddle of his own blood, coughing up more every minute. David was in Principal Laster’s office.
“So, David, want to tell me what happened?”, Laster asked.
“I beat up Justin.”
“Why?”
“Because I could. He beats on me everyday, so I think that this makes up for all those times.”
“It doesn’t, though.”
“I had to have my revenge.”
“But you didn’t have to….”
“But I did.”
“Did you get what you wanted?”
“Close enough.”
“Do feel better about yourself, David?”
“I do.”
“Well. I’m going to have to tell your mother.”
“See if I care.”
“Huhhh…. David, what are supposed to do with you? Your failing school, and now beating up people.”
“Leave me alone.”
“How would that solve anything.”
“Awake at night, I focus, on everyone who’s hurt me. Then write a list of targets, my violence, lack of virtue. I am breathing, while you're sleeping. Go, and leave me alone. My hearts beating, the liars cheating, go, and leave me alone. Heres to your perfect weapon. Like a bird whose wings are broken, I live without direction, cracked bones with blind aggression.”
“David, stop blabbering about things you don’t understand.”
“You’re all going to understand what true pain and terror is. I promise you that.”


Chapter IV - Rampage
Spoiler:
Why don’t they just leave me alone, David thought, I don’t understand why they don’t see the pain I go through everyday. I’m done with them. I promise, they will feel pain, they will know.
Someone knocked on his door.
“Come in!”, said David, preparing his knife. His mother walks in. David lunges at her with his knife.

At Davids School the next day.

David walks up to Justin and his friends, knife in pocket.
“Oh no, guys! Hes going to beat me up again.”, Justin said in a mocking voice.
“Take a last look around while you’re alive, I’m an indestructible master of war.”, David said, lunging at Justin with the knife. With Justin murdered in cold blood, David turns on Josh and Jake. “Don’t be afraid.”, David said.
“Stay away from us, David.”
“Another cause for me to fight, another reason brought forward, alight.”. David stabs them both.


Chapter V - Indestructible, Master of War.
Spoiler:
David stands on the top of a very tall building, 2 years after murdering his mother and, three kids at school.
“I’m an Indestructible Master of War. Don’t forget it.”, David screamed at the world. David jumps from the roof, his intention is suicide. He hits the ground.



Rated 0+ - Everyone could read this.
Spoiler:

Day 4
I’m not really sure whats going to happen. The Sickness is spreading. They say that it started in China, and I have no idea whats going to happen, no one does….. They still have no idea whats causing, how it spreads, or what it even is. I hope this ends soon.

Day 5
I ran into a group of people, today. They were huddled around a dead fire, not moving. I walked up to them, and tapped one of them on the shoulder. He turned around, and the very thought that if I caught The Sickness that I would like him made me run away in a fear. When you catch The Sickness, it turns your skin inside out, and makes you eyes seem to fall out of you body. So far, there is no cure. You can be therapied, but you’ll be the same. You go back to the first stage of development in Psychosocial Development.

Day 6
I heard on the news that they have finally discovered what the main component of The Sickness is. It’s Vanadium, a rare earth element. When Vanadium gets in your bloodstream, it messes with your DNA, and can make you mutate almost overnight. The amount of vanadium recorded in people who are infected takes up 3% of your blood. This is enough to make your skin flip inside-out. Anymore and they will die. Instantly.

Day 10
They have started to create a cure for The Sickness, now being called “Vanademica”. The amount of oxygen in the atmosphere is very slowly going down. Any that is taken away is being replaced by vanadium gas. The amount in the atmosphere is so low, however that it won’t affect us, yet. Hopefully this will end soon.

Day 17
Today they officially considered this a Pandemic. This is the year 2016, and there has not been a global pandemic in over 500 years. Over 10% of the world’s population is currently affected with Vanademica. I really hope this all ends soon. I’m not sure how much I can take.

Day 20
This is the 20th day of the pandemic. My wife died on day one. Shows you how fast it spreads and kills. Some people have been known to live for more than 3 days while infected. If you get bit, spit on, coughed on, touched, or ,in some very serious cases, in near vicinity of someone infected, you will catch it. It’s a miracle that I haven’t caught it yet.

Day 31
The vaccine is finally done. It works 89% of the time. Worth the $150? You bet. They have test to see if it worked. If it doesn’t work, you die. The vaccine injects a large amount of purified vanadium into you. This vanadium has deadly effects on some people. Others live through it. This “purified” vanadium variant is so poisonous that it kills off and dissolves the other vanadium in a matter of seconds. The vanadium is quickly sucked out back through the same needle that injected. It also creates an immunity to it at the same time. I survived it. This also cures people, too. But for those infected, if it is not injected soon after infection, there is no redemption for them.

Day 37
Even though peoples cures are working, once they are cured Vanademica will come back at some time. Once it comes back, the victim will die within 12 hours. Even some people who got the vaccine are still getting infected. The infection is getting stronger. I’ve had a double dose of the vaccine, so hopefully that is enough to protect myself.

Day 58
Psychosocial Needs Development Program (PSNDP) was formed today. They formed it to help those who have come back from the infection to rehabilitate their psychological and societal needs and behaviors.

Day 80
80 days in, and its still not over. Nearly 60% of the worlds population in gone.

Day 87
They say that only 700 people in the world are still affected. They are hunting them, so that this will end.

Day 95
Its over. For 95 days, we fought this huge virus. We lost 63.8% of the human population. Vanademica is not gone, not by a longshot. It will come back eventually, but this time we are prepared. Its funny. What everyone doesn’t know, is that not EVERYONE who is infected has been eradicated. Only once I am gone, will the world be safe. I am Devin Entity, and I will end this.

Day 3
Vanademica Pre-log 3

Forst: Before I forget, Msr. Entity, don’t forget to make sure that your husband is infected with the ultra-virus. Our plan won’t work otherwise.
Mrs. Entity: Don’t worry, Mr. Forst, I will make sure that we both play a role in this. Goodbye, Mr. Forst. This will be the last time the world hears my voice.
Forst: Goodbye, Mrs. Entity. Your service will be greatly missed, and appreciated.


Day 2
Vanademica Pre-Log 2

Forst
: Is the ultra-virus prepared, Doctor?
Dr. Meardec: Yes, Mr. Forst. It is ready for injection in Subject-1882471.
Forst: Is Psychosocio-therapy ready for the subject after injection?
Dr. Meardec: The Sickness Program is in full scale, Mr. Forst. It is all ready. Vanademica is prepared to launch on the population. Soon, this worlds plight will be over.
Forst: Very good. It is prepared to launch tomorrow.


Day 1
Vanademica Pre-Log 1

Forst
: How is The Sickness Project coming along?
Mrs. Entity: Very well, sir. We should have it done tomorrow. Why are we doing this again?
Forst: I’ve wished for this, I’ve *****ed at that, I’ve left behind this little fact. You can not kill what you did not create. I’ve screamed until blood boils, this world I can’t stand. Patch me up or rip me skin from bone. The pain is the only that stops the ache. That is why we are doing this.
Mrs. Entity: Very well, sir.
















The Black Veil
Spoiler:

Perfect Weapon - A Poem
Rated 13+ - Themes that usually start to make sense at this age.
Spoiler:


Go
Leave me alone
Let me cut in silence
Let me be
Turn out the light
I tried my best
Go

Go
Leave us alone
Let us cry in deep silence
Let us be
Turn out the light
We tried our best
Go

Here's to your perfect weapon
Cold love that you lost
Cracked bones with blind aggression
Like a bird with broken wings
We live without direction
Go
Leave us alone
Let me cut
Let us cry
We tried our best
Turn out the light
Go

Alone at night
I sit and fight
For this plight
Tonight
I can’t go on without you love
You lost
You never held on

Go
Leave me alone
Take your Perfect Weapon
Let me cut in the dark silence
Of your cold love

This lyrical vow
I will prove
This plight of fate
One final fight
For this
I will prove
This lyrical vow

Go
Leave me alone
Let me cut in silence
Let me be
Your Perfect Weapon
I tried my best
Turn out the light
For the last time
Remember these last words
Your Perfect Weapon caused them
I tried my best
Let me cry
Let me take this blight
That you made
Your “Mistake”
Your hate
Your plight
Your light
Your love
Your fear
Your Perfect Weapon
Remember this night
It will be my last
Your fight will be over
Go
I’ve lost all faith in this blurring plight
Storming through this
Despite what’s right
Your Perfect Weapon
Will end my fight
Go
I’m done
Its over
You won
Turn out the light
This one last time
My blade cuts deep
My fight is done
My wrists bleed
Its not enough
My blade cuts deeper
My whole arm bleeds
Its not enough
My blade cuts to far
My heart bleeds and cries
For your Perfect Weapon
Which brought this upon me
Go

Your Perfect Weapon
Ended this life
Your Perfect Weapon
Has finished what you wrought
Your Perfect Weapon
Violent lack Virtue
Cracked bones
Blind Aggression
Go
Turn out the light
Take your Perfect Weapon
And end another
Start the Cycle
And begin again

Go



Sweet Blasphemy - A Poem
Rated 0+ - This is for anyone.
Spoiler:

This ballad,
to all those who are lost.


I won’t believe this lie,
There’s something more inside,
This is my sweet blasphemy.

I am young,
I am strong,
With strength in myself,
I have become,
something more than you can be,
when darkness is all you see,
remember my sweet blasphemy.

These lyrics-
from my chest come-
will tear down your walls,
when darkness is all you see,
remember my sweet blasphemy.

I won’t believe this lie,
There’s something more inside,
When darkness is all you see,
This is my sweet blasphemy.

Uncover this veil,
don’t believe the lie,
from their hearts come forth,
will unravel you,
take who you are,
your words will,
from your heart come,
unravel them,
your blasphemy,
your sweet blasphemy.

Under this black veil,
when darkness is all you see,
think of my sweet blasphemy.
I am young,
I am strong,
Through strength in self I have become,
something more than they can be,
This is my sweet blasphemy.

I won’t believe this lie,
The lie they create in vain,
my blasphemy,
Sweet Blasphemy.



Saviour - A Poem
Rated 0+ - This is for everyone. It contains nothing bad.
Spoiler:

When you’re feeling down,
I’ll be there.
Waiting,
Watching,
Listening,
I’ll be there.
I never meant to be,
but I’ll take this burden,
and become the holy one.
A saviour,
for all your sins.




Songs
Spoiler:

Into The Darkness
Spoiler:

We fly into the darkness
Haven’t been here for a while
Sounds of it all fade away
And Hell is brought back from the grave

I fly into the darkness
Haven’t been here for a while
Sounds of it all fade away
My heart blacks out the sun

You kept me running and hiding
Deliver Me
From it all
Deliver Us
You kept us running and hiding
Deliver Us
From the darkness
Deliver me
But now
I fly

We fly into the darkness
Haven’t been here for a while
The distant sounds of it all fade away
My heart blocks out the sun

I haven’t been here for a while,
Did you miss me?

I fly into the darkness
Disappear now for awhile
And I’ll watch you all down from below
And cry as you burn

Together,
We’ll fly into the darkness
Sounds of it all fade away
We’ll black out the sun
We’ll tear it all up

Alone I sit here and wait
For the darkness that never comes
Dark one come for me now
In my time of wanting
I’ll wait
Here
For you

I”ll fly into the darkness
And leave it all behind
I haven’t been here in a while
Did you miss me?

We fly into the darkness
(Deliver Us)
Haven’t been here in a while
(Deliver Us)
Sounds of it all fade away
(Deliver Us)
Hell’s brought back from the grave


I give the world to you
Let you fly into the darkness
But you can’t make sense of this

I’ll let you fly
But you’ll fall
Don’t hold back
Fly into the darkness


Into the darkness
We fly
And hide
From your pain
Your suffering
Your hate

Take this life
and run with it

I fly into the darkness
Haven’t been here in a while
Sounds of it all fade away
Hell’s brought back from the grave

Make me see
Make me pray
Make me understand

Deliver Us

Deliver Us

Deliver Me

Into The Darkness


I fly into the darkness
Haven't been here for a while
Sounds of it all fade away
If I never
If I ever
Deliver Me
Into The Darkness

I fly into the darkness
Alone

Deliver Me
Into The Darkness
Into The Darkness
Into The Darkness
I fly



Under The Veil
Spoiler:

Don’t want to be rude
But I have to
I Want break these chains
But its hard when I’m so run down

You're so cynical,
Undefined villain of evil,
Put me through this hell

Pushing on I’m lost in a haze,
Trying hard to clear my brain.

Don’t want to be rude
But I have to
Keep holding on,
even through this pitiful stage

My mind,
Can’t clear
Thoughts,
so scrambled,

My mind,
Can’t clear
Thoughts,
Undefined

Want to break you’re rule,
But it’s hard to escape
Don’t want to be crude
But you want me to

You're so cynical,
Undefined villain of evil,
Put me through this hell

Pushing on, I’m lost in a haze,
Trying hard to clear my brain,

Don’t want to run
But I have to
Don’t want to hide
But I have to
My mind,
Is clear,
Thoughts,
Redefined

My mind,
Is clear,
Thoughts,
Put in place

Don’t want to be rude
But I have to
Want throw you down
Gonna throw you down

Your mind,
can’t clear,
Your thoughts,
Under the veil.



Come Clarity
Spoiler:

Sounds of it all
Fading
I fell it
It's coming

Come Clarity

We are ghosts of a concrete world
Trying to breath in life
Left behind by those we love
The sounds of everything we know
Fade
And wash away

We live in a world of ghosts
Trying to cleanse themselves
The earth fends them off
And leaves them alone

It's not the pain
It's more the actual act
One more time and the picture is perfect

The rain hits me like a blade
From the stem of your hate
My mind can't handle all you give me
It fills my mind with these thoughts

These thoughts will keep me fearful
These thoughts burn a hole in my mind
These thoughts will turn you

My world is suppressed
My mind is clouded
My thoughts rampant
Come clarity
Come clarity

We live in world of demons
Full of hate and evil
We can't escape what comes out way
The cannibalistic purge of us
Comes without a second thought

I fall under the thoughts
Of yesterday
And my mind falls under
The thoughts of you

You keep filling me with the hate
Sounds of it keep me going
The darkness at the end of light
Keeps me going

My world is stormed
My mind is clammed
My thoughts are unclear
Come Clarity
Come Clarity

We are ghosts of a concrete world
The dying breed leaves us behind
We become the ghosts of the concrete world

Whats left behind is what we have
The life that no one wants is what were given
Clarity is stolen and
Our minds our frozen
Our world is oppressive
Our thoughts are blazing
Come clarity
Come back to those who need it

We can't make sense of this
But we have to try
It's darkness above
Let me take control

Come clarity
Come back
Come clarity

Fly into the distance
Disappear for a while
Can't make sense of it
But we have to try
The sounds of the darkness
at the end of light
keep us going

Come clarity



Deliverance
Spoiler:

I've screamed
I've waited
I've wished
for something that never comes

I've laughed
I've jested
I've teased
at something that don't understand

I've delivered
I've taken
I've washed away
everything that's ever come your way

But this whole time
through the screaming
through the laughing
through the delivering
I've waited
For one thing

You haven't delivered
The one thing that I need
I've waited for deliverance

I've vanished
I've hidden
I've covered
From everything that you've sent

But I still haven't found
What you're hiding from me

I can't stand this any longer
I can't stand waiting for
Deliverance

I've stood
I've blocked
I've run from
Everything that would help me

I've destroyed
I've killed
I've eradicated
Everything that you've tried to press on me

But this whole time
Through the vanishing
Through the standing
Through the destruction
I've waited
For one thing

You haven't delivered
The one thing that I need
I've waited for deliverance


I fell like I'm going in circles
My mind is breaking
Your hate still hasn't been delivered
I can't wait any longer
Bring it to me
Give me what I need
To have reason
To finish what was started
All those years ago

When I look back upon that day
I find myself cursing at the ground
Wondering if I need to change direction
I felt I was running an endless mile


I've dove
I've fallen
I've ran
Off the edge

Waiting for the day that never comes
The day when you deliver

All the hate I've waited for
Never seems to come

But I guess
I've got what I deserved
Walking where the champions lay
I deserve what never comes

I've waited
I've waited
I've waited
For deliverance
But deliverance comes

Deliver the hate
Eradicate the love
I don't need it

Deliverance



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Last edited by Krieg; April 12th, 2014 at 12:22 PM. Reason: New song added (Yes, I write songs now.)
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  #2    
Old November 12th, 2013, 06:15 PM
Slayr231's Avatar
Slayr231
Aspiring Writer, or something
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Lost in thought... again
Age: 19
Gender: Male
Nature: Calm
First of all, I would like to welcome you to PC! I hope you continue to post your work and stick around for a long while.

Quote:
They container they had it in looked like one of those things they blood in in a hospital.
I think you meant "the" at the beginning of the sentence in chapter two. Also, this is a little awkward to read and you lost me at the last part with "one of those things they blood in in a hospital". Oh, and you have two "in"s in a row.

Quote:
I fell over, dead.
I think you meant "It" as I don't think the main character died right here in chapter four.

Quote:
Nothing can sop me.
I think you meant "stop" in chapter six.

Quote:
I find the hole in the wall that they used for disposal of trash.
I think the "it" should be turned into "they" in chapter six.

Quote:
It leads up a tunnel and into a room guarded be Wakers.
I think you mean "by" instead on "be" in chapter six.

Quote:
Screaming coming from every room I pass.
I think you want "Screams" instead of "Screaming" because you're using it as a noun, not as a verb.

Quote:
He blocks it with it eases.
"blocks it with ease."

Quote:
I hangs there like a leaf on a branch about to fall off.
"It hangs there..."

Okay, a quick scan through before dinner is all I have time for right now, so that's all the grammar mistakes I caught with a quick skim. I would recommend letting your writing sit for a day or two, then proofread it again as there were a lot of mistakes here.

Your writing style is very weird, but in a good way. At least in this story, it almost goes hand in hand with the insane mindset. In the beginning it had a real off-the-wall charm to it, that was unfortunately lost later on in the story. I believe the charm you originally had was really gone in the sixth chapter. You tried too hard to explain what was going on whilst having the insane voice. I'm not exactly sure what you can do about that as your style of writing is uncommon here, so I'm afraid that's all I can explain about it.

Overall, a really good story. Lot's of mistakes, mainly grammar, but it has the potential to be really good. Your off-the-wall voice compliments this theme very well and I was easily able to make the connection of how an insane individual could grasp reality. I have to go eat dinner now, so I'll end my review here. A good story with lots of potential. I look forward to reading more by you in the future.
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  #3    
Old November 12th, 2013, 06:22 PM
Krieg's Avatar
Krieg
THERE'S NO FENCE ON THIS FENCE
 
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Tennessee
Age: 15
Gender: Male
Nature: Rash
Thanks for the criticism, Slayr! I noticed all those typos after I put it up and was already working on "Indestructible" when I noticed it. I really tried to make it seem like the person started out as normal, but the more they worked on him, the more insane he became.
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