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  #1    
Old November 20th, 2013, 01:47 PM
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Do you have ''best friends'' who chat with you all the time and then slowly drift away without any reason at all? Even when you try contacting them?

I don't understand it at all. Do you?

Has this ever happened to you?


For all who do not understand the title: ''Confused x_x''
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  #2    
Old November 20th, 2013, 01:50 PM
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I have friends from home I drift away from because we're not living near each other anymore.

Then I have friends here who drift away because they start dating, devote themselves to their significant other and ignore all their friends.

Then my flatmate just decided to not be friendly at all this academic year, not matter how hard I try.
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  #3    
Old November 20th, 2013, 01:57 PM
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yes i do, my (about to be ex) best friend has just become more distant over time and i don't know what the deal is but quite frankly i dont like it, it's really been bumming me out =(
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  #4    
Old November 20th, 2013, 01:59 PM
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I had one person do that to me. It pissed me off because he was like an older brother to me. Well, all of a sudden he stops talking to me and completely ignores me like... seriously? Apparently, I got to attached to him. What pisses me off was that he couldn't just come to me and work this out. He went and ignored me still... even now. I've told him plenty of times about how I feel and... yeah.

It made me so mad because well... a normal person would confront you instead of making you feel like complete and utter ****, right?
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  #5    
Old November 20th, 2013, 02:05 PM
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I have this too, and also i might have done this to other people aswell, so apologies if any of you are one of the victims.

My ex tried to become friends again by starting to talk to me and soon i got ignored like usual. I was kinda upset at first but i just forgot about her.
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  #6    
Old November 20th, 2013, 02:17 PM
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All I can say this that it sucks, and that it's one of the sh*t I simply cannot explain.

And those people tend to be the biggest hypocrites.
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  #7    
Old November 20th, 2013, 03:29 PM
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I've drifted away from two of the people I was closest with, there are reasons why though.

The first friend, it just felt like she stopped caring about me and only wanted me around when she was hurt, to make her feel better or something. Plus, it was kinda obvious this other girl (a girl I really didn't like) was more important to her than I was. Like, gee, thanks. ">.>

The other friend, just kept pestering me about something when I'd told her to drop it a million times, she wouldn't give it up. It was to the point where if I ever tried to talk to her about anything she would find a way to bring it up.

Blah. Friendship is hard.
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  #8    
Old November 20th, 2013, 03:33 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sh1nyzorua View Post
I've drifted away from two of the people I was closest with, there are reasons why though.

The first friend, it just felt like she stopped caring about me and only wanted me around when she was hurt, to make her feel better or something. Plus, it was kinda obvious this other girl (a girl I really didn't like) was more important to her than I was. Like, gee, thanks. ">.>

The other friend, just kept pestering me about something when I'd told her to drop it a million times, she wouldn't give it up. It was to the point where if I ever tried to talk to her about anything she would find a way to bring it up.

Blah. Friendship is hard.
At least you have a legit reason. I'd do that too, if I were you, to be honest.
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  #9    
Old November 22nd, 2013, 02:43 AM
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Yeah, I've had a lot of friends who've forgotten about me. I do my best to maintain a close friendship and open communication with them, though, but I think the reason why it happens so often is because there's a lot of misunderstandings between our group of friends.

There's this one girl who was a bit of a loner in the beginning of the school year. We'd always approach her and let her sit with us in the canteen, let her come with us on random adventures so she wouldn't feel left out. She was pretty happy about it, but after some time, she started to talk to the other girls in class. At first, we were okay about that, because that means she's opening up and socializing more. It's not like we're the only friends she could have, right? So this went on for, like, three months, and after that, she completely stopped hanging out with us. Then a month passed, and she started following us again. We were honestly very irritated about that. We'd always think, "Why is she hanging out with us again? Doesn't she like her new friends?"

As a tradition, us friends would have an open forum at least twice every month, so that our friendship would be stronger and we could let go of any negative thoughts. We did that once and included the girl, so we could finally confront her about it. She told us that she didn't hang out with us anymore was because she felt like we were just being fake towards her, like we were being forced to hang out with her because she was a loner. After that, we started to loosen up a little around her. It sort of proved that communication solves everything -- or at least problems involving friends.
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  #10    
Old November 22nd, 2013, 07:57 AM
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This seems to be normal. Establishing a particular and mutual openness on all matters while you're close helps.
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  #11    
Old November 22nd, 2013, 08:13 AM
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This happens all the time to me. I don't get it sometimes; you try and keep in regular contact with them, then you get nothing afterwards. It's a horrible feeling.
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  #12    
Old November 23rd, 2013, 07:28 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Laugh View Post
Yeah, I've had a lot of friends who've forgotten about me. I do my best to maintain a close friendship and open communication with them, though, but I think the reason why it happens so often is because there's a lot of misunderstandings between our group of friends.

There's this one girl who was a bit of a loner in the beginning of the school year. We'd always approach her and let her sit with us in the canteen, let her come with us on random adventures so she wouldn't feel left out. She was pretty happy about it, but after some time, she started to talk to the other girls in class. At first, we were okay about that, because that means she's opening up and socializing more. It's not like we're the only friends she could have, right? So this went on for, like, three months, and after that, she completely stopped hanging out with us. Then a month passed, and she started following us again. We were honestly very irritated about that. We'd always think, "Why is she hanging out with us again? Doesn't she like her new friends?"

As a tradition, us friends would have an open forum at least twice every month, so that our friendship would be stronger and we could let go of any negative thoughts. We did that once and included the girl, so we could finally confront her about it. She told us that she didn't hang out with us anymore was because she felt like we were just being fake towards her, like we were being forced to hang out with her because she was a loner. After that, we started to loosen up a little around her. It sort of proved that communication solves everything -- or at least problems involving friends.
Glad it got sorted out, sometimes a simple misunderstanding can lead to such thoughts.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cassino View Post
This seems to be normal. Establishing a particular and mutual openness on all matters while you're close helps.
Well, yes. But most of my friends live faar faaaaar away.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Airbourne Bubblun View Post
This happens all the time to me. I don't get it sometimes; you try and keep in regular contact with them, then you get nothing afterwards. It's a horrible feeling.
Same - I don't get it at all.
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  #13    
Old November 23rd, 2013, 08:09 AM
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I knew this one guy for years, we became pretty close friends. All of a sudden he just drops all contact.

You know, I get it, friendship is a two-way street and I can respect losing interest for whatever reason, but at least say so, you know?

Ignoring someone is way colder than coming to a mutual understanding as to why your friendship just won't pan out. Dunno how people can have the heart to do that for the sake of avoiding feeling "awkward". Have some consideration, dude...
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  #14    
Old November 23rd, 2013, 08:14 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LoudSilence View Post
I knew this one guy for years, we became pretty close friends. All of a sudden he just drops all contact.

You know, I get it, friendship is a two-way street and I can respect losing interest for whatever reason, but at least say so, you know?

Ignoring someone is way colder than coming to a mutual understanding as to why your friendship just won't pan out. Dunno how people can have the heart to do that for the sake of avoiding feeling "awkward". Have some consideration, dude...
Exactly! If you don't wanna be friends with someone - tell 'em instead of ignoring 'em. Simple. As. That.

Sure, I'd be a little upset if my friendship with a person ends, but it's a hell lot better than being ignored and having no idea whether the person wants to be your friend or not.
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  #15    
Old November 23rd, 2013, 09:42 PM
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No not really, if anything I feel like I've drifted away from some of my friends because I'm not as social as I used to be. This is for a number of reasons. I try to hangout with my friends sometimes, but most of my time is consumed with work or school.
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  #16    
Old November 23rd, 2013, 09:46 PM
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This thread was calling me, because unfortunately I can empathize.

To make it short. I've been forgotten several times by many friends, including one that's my best friend. It's really saddening and it breaks my heart because I actually care about my friends and I never wanted to lose them. Usually the pain goes away for a few months, or until I find new peeps to talk to.
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Old November 23rd, 2013, 09:54 PM
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There's always a reason. Maybe they're avoiding you to give you the reason. Cuz "I don't want to hurt your feelings"...or something.

Maybe they should -- as a comedian once said -- "Be a man, do the right thing."

Wait a few more hours/days/whateverworksforyou and try contacting them again?
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  #18    
Old November 23rd, 2013, 10:30 PM
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Goood yes. I have one best friend who I've known for ten years and it's actually become a joke between us how we stop talking just entirely unprecedented for several months then one day, one of us texts the other and it's literally like those several months were just a couple days. Our relationship is so weird lol.

I don't know why or how it happens tbh. I know she's very sensitive and I'm very ditzy about actively texting people so I'll be busy for a week and she'll think I don't want to talk so she's scared to text me. It's weird.
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Old November 24th, 2013, 04:12 AM
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I'm going to come out and say it, but I've been the person who's drifted away from people before a number of times. Call me a douche, but I have my reasons. The one time I actively tried to distance myself from a friend was because I never felt comfortable being in the friendship with him. I always found myself bored and irritated while with him, and he did a LOT of things that pissed me off, confused me or weirded me out. We were friends for a long time - 7 years - but since finishing high school last year, I haven't seen him since. He has tried to contact me on Facebook every now and then and I do try my best to maintain conversation with him, but honestly, I think it's for the better that him and I find new friends. Maybe we'll be close friends again, but I highly doubt it. It's probably for the better anyway - a friendship where either friend is uncomfortable is never a healthy one.

What I've got to contribute to your situation is this: if someone isn't willing to talk to you or keep up a friendship, they probably want the distance. If you've tried to bridge the gap and they're making it difficult, give them that distance and try to find new friends or keep up relationships with old ones. You've done your bit in trying to rekindle the friendship, but if they don't want things to continue, don't force it.
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Old November 24th, 2013, 09:12 AM
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Pretty much my best friend from High school years. we spoke for a few years until one day last year we stopped speaking without a word from him explaining why he did not want to speak to me.
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Old November 24th, 2013, 10:10 AM
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This has happened to me with my neighbours and people who live near me and are similarly aged. When we were kids back then we used to be really huge friends with each other, always hanging out after school, playing football and always going around each others houses. Then high school came around, and we all went to different schools. First few years we managed to stay together, but as time passed we eventually drifted away and away and now it's awkward to even see each other anymore. It's weird because we still live close to each other, like none of us have moved houses, but because of all the time we didn't hang out and got different friends our interests started to change and now I don't even know some of them anymore. They seem like completely different people now, but the memories I have of them makes me pretty sad as we used to be so close when we were kids, where I guess it was a lot simpler since we all went to the same primary school.

I hadn't thought about it deeply before but now that I do, I wish we still at least saw each other from time to time. It's too late now though.
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  #22    
Old November 24th, 2013, 11:40 AM
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Well, yes. But most of my friends live faar faaaaar away. ;-;
I find that's only a barrier if one thinks it is.
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Old November 24th, 2013, 12:16 PM
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I think it happens to everyone, especially when it comes to online relationships. Scientific studies say that on average most friendships only last 7 years before people start moving away from each other or begin to develop less contact.
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Old November 24th, 2013, 12:33 PM
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I no longer have any friends, I stopped talking to them and I haven't really heard from them ever since school ended.
I get along with people at work but I don't see them outside of the workplace. Not that it bothers me though.
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  #25    
Old November 24th, 2013, 01:06 PM
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It happens. Best friends sometimes drift apart, but a lot of times it doesn't last. Even if you drift apart for a few months or even a few years, sometimes you always end up looping back around to each other. It's happened to me, and with a couple other friends, and my mom has said that it happened with her and her best friend - they didn't talk through most of high school, but then reconnected in college.

I think it's normal, people change, but in the end you still care about each other and find a way to get back in contact eventually.
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