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  #4326    
Old January 21st, 2014 (10:40 PM).
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Quote originally posted by Faye Rose~:
Hey all,

I started a blog about my trials as a pre-transition transsexual female. Check it out, if you'd like I'd greatly appreciate it.

http://liberationoffaye.wordpress.com/
I used to have a nightly transition diary at one point, but I wound up having my rhythm disrupted so it's not so nightly anymore...

I just might keep an eye on this. Your situation is one that is completely different than mine pre-transition (I'm very early HRT now) but I wish all the luck to ya. I kinda need to make more trans friends though, largely in my local area...
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  #4327    
Old January 21st, 2014 (11:26 PM).
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Quote originally posted by TéaQQ:
I used to have a nightly transition diary at one point, but I wound up having my rhythm disrupted so it's not so nightly anymore...

I just might keep an eye on this. Your situation is one that is completely different than mine pre-transition (I'm very early HRT now) but I wish all the luck to ya. I kinda need to make more trans friends though, largely in my local area...
Thanks very much I'm planning on updating every week or so, my therapist might have info for me this Friday so I'm pretty excited for that.

But yeah, my situation is unique to say the least. It kinda sucks right now, and my relationship blowing up didnt help at all, but at least I'm making a little progress irl, and I'm convinced the future will be brighter for me.

I also need to make more trans friends, ones who can understand, help and guide me.
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  #4328    
Old January 22nd, 2014 (01:58 AM). Edited January 22nd, 2014 by Phantom.
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So, guys. I need advice.


Well one, let me explain what happened with my current room mate.

Right, so, Saturday I got a text from her telling me she got a notice of the damages from the pipe bursting, something like 1,400 bucks. (We had a pipe burst in my room on New Year's Eve, spraying water EVERYWHERE, and high pressure too. Also note, I am NOT on the lease.)

Later I learned that it wasn't just a bill/notice for payment, it was an eviction notice and that if it wasn't paid in ten days we would be forced to leave. It just seemed fishy to me, and to my dad. No one had inspected the apartment since the pipe burst, and we had heard nothing from the people below our apartment. My room mate has a habit of well, not being a good person. She has a bit of a bar issue, and a bit of a 'bring home men in the middle of the night while room mate is sleeping' thing. And it ended up once with a naked man in my bed room. I've been worried about her paying my half of the bill, since I give her cash for it so there is no paper trail, note, not on the lease.

Now, at this point I was ready to pay the damages myself. I'd been saving up to go back to school and better my life, that's why I moved there, to save money for school. I'd saved a little over what was needed, so I was gonna pay, then move out at the end of the month. I was willing to give up an entire year's worth of saving for this because I felt the damage to the pipe was more my responsibility, and I'm a good person. Also, my room mate, a thirty-nine year old woman, with children she sees every weekend, is friends with my mother. They work together, her working as my mom's assistant.

My dad made her text a picture of the notice, and my dad, using a fake name, left a message for the landlady saying he was from some church that was wanting to help us. Though he never really talked to her.

My dad called my mom, and told her that he'd talked to the landlady, but he didn't say what was said, only that they would 'talk later'. In truth, he never talked to her. My mom then told my room mate that my dad called the landlady, and my room mate was pissed. She was pissed my dad called the landlady, but my mom said he was trying to help. And was shocked to find her so angry. After a bit of working things out my room mate admitted that it wasn't for damages for the pipe, it was because she was three months behind on rent.

She'd been using the rent money to pay off other things, and ignoring the rent. We're already 18 days late this month, and hadn't paid in two already. This was ridiculous, seeing as I'd been giving her my half, she should have no problem with hers. This is entirely her fault, and I am not giving her a cent.

So I am not paying, and I'm packing to move in with my parents until things settle, which is gonna suck because I haven't lived with my parents in more than four years.

She hasn't even started packing. Nor has a cent been paid, and nor will it be paid by me. I plan to move on Friday or Saturday.

I'm done helping this *****.


But here I am at the impasse of, where the hell do I go? The only real solution, moving in with my girlfriend of two months. Well, by the time we move in together it will be three, but still. See, she's in a bad situation too, living trapped in a lease with a crazy ex. And we've talked before about this, it makes sense and will help us both mutually, I just want to figure out things I need to know and stuff. Advice? Comments?
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  #4329    
Old January 22nd, 2014 (02:27 AM).
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OK so it's a big step to move in with someone, particularly after such a short time. The questions I would ask are the following:

1. Does this mean more than just the necessity under which you're doing it?
2. If so, are you comfortable with the speed at which you're moving?
3. If not, are you happy to take such a serious step for such a meaningless reason?
4. Would it be better to live with your parents or risk your relationship?

I have two friends that moved in together after not being together for very long. They're still together over a year later and they're quite happy, if a little co-dependent. So that's my only experience to share with you. Let me know what you decide!
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  #4330    
Old January 22nd, 2014 (02:36 AM).
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Quote originally posted by The Artist Formerly Known As Shining Raichu:
OK so it's a big step to move in with someone, particularly after such a short time. The questions I would ask are the following:

1. Does this mean more than just the necessity under which you're doing it?
2. If so, are you comfortable with the speed at which you're moving?
3. If not, are you happy to take such a serious step for such a meaningless reason?
4. Would it be better to live with your parents or risk your relationship?

I have two friends that moved in together after not being together for very long. They're still together over a year later and they're quite happy, if a little co-dependent. So that's my only experience to share with you. Let me know what you decide!


1. Right now it's a mix. We both agree we've never would have let a relationship move this fast, and haven't, with anyone else. It's just, well, she says when it feels right, it feels right and she wouldn't do it otherwise.
2. If it feels right, it feels right. I'm a really laid back person, usually if she's okay with it, so am I. I'm a little nervous maybe, but who wouldn't be?
3. I don't think it's meaningless. We do both love each other, and I do feel different about her than I have for anyone else.
4. Well, my parents and I do not get along. There was a reason I was pretty much homeless throughout high school. We are better with each other now, but living together might change that. My dad beat me until I was 18, when I finally moved out. So, no, I'd rather not stay at my parent's for long. My dad and I have reconciled, but still, leftover emotions are there. And since I came out things have been a bit weird. Geez, just imagine when she comes to visit. (She's already met my parents, they like her, but are still weirded out about things.)


We're gonna spend some time to figure things out. I do really love her and never felt this way before I thought I've been in love before, but this is totally different. I just don't want this to turn into a lesbian U-Haul situation. We did somewhat agree that if anything happens, forbid, we can remain friends and civil room mates. Which is why I suggest a two bedroom, just being cautious. What do you think?
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  #4331    
Old January 23rd, 2014 (06:05 PM).
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I have some pretty good news I guess.

In the U.K. same-sex marriage is set to begin in late March and fingers crossed we're getting hitched on our 4 year anniversary in mid April. It hasn't really sunk in yet, but I know I'm going to get so nervous later on in the year.

My SO proposed to me on Tuesday.
I'm hopefully getting married this year.
Holy crap I'm getting married this year.

On Tuesday we headed back to our hometown for a meet-up with some old friends from Highschool. We went to one of the local pubs and sat in the beer garden while having some drinks.
I'll spare you the details but she proposed to me on the same spot where we had our first kiss, and at the exact same time, in-front of some of our oldest friends.

I said yes, and cried a lot.
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  #4332    
Old January 23rd, 2014 (06:39 PM).
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Congratulations, Somniac! Best wishes to the both of you and for a long and happy life together!
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  #4333    
Old January 26th, 2014 (08:18 AM).
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Hello. I'm not sure if anyone here is asexual, but I'm going to go ahead and post this anyway.

I've been confused about what to call my sexuality for a while now. I've been labeling myself as a pansexual aromantic, but now I'm not so sure about the pansexual part; I don't feel sexually attracted to people, only aesthetically -- that is, I can find people of any gender "attractive", but that's about as far as it goes. I don't want to do anything else with them (like sex, kissing/cuddling, etc.), and the thought of actually engaging in anything sexual doesn't really appeal to me, similar to how I feel about romantic relationships. I know this is probably asexuality, and only I can determine what my sexual orientation is, but I still would like some input from someone who actually is asexual. I'm also going to try on the AVEN forum, I was just posting here in case anyone could help, haha~
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  #4334    
Old January 26th, 2014 (10:08 AM).
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I'm not sure how I've not joined this yet. Sign me up.

Anyway, Somniac, congrats!
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  #4335    
Old January 27th, 2014 (11:11 PM).
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Quote originally posted by Somniac:
My SO proposed to me on Tuesday.
I'm hopefully getting married this year.
Holy crap I'm getting married this year.

On Tuesday we headed back to our hometown for a meet-up with some old friends from Highschool. We went to one of the local pubs and sat in the beer garden while having some drinks.
I'll spare you the details but she proposed to me on the same spot where we had our first kiss, and at the exact same time, in-front of some of our oldest friends.

I said yes, and cried a lot.
Holy crap that's amazing! Congrats to you!!


Quote originally posted by Atomic Pirate:
I'm not sure how I've not joined this yet. Sign me up.
Welcome to the fun club!


Okay, I am in need of some advice over some issues at hand here.

First off I will re-introduce myself to give a taste of the situation at hand: I am a male to female transsexual who is not very far in transition at all. I’m only three months into HRT I've done some voice work (I still sound like a guy though.) I am still very boyish in my looks, and I’m still pretty gender-neutral in the ways of dressing.

My therapist suggests the time has come for me to make some friends around here for once, and so, wants me to go to this LGBT center during its drop-in hours and try to meet (and hopefully befriend) some fellow MTFs. If not this, try to go to a support group for those in my age range. While to some people this might seem like no big deal, I have some things about me that make it a huge issue:
• I have been a social recluse for over seven years, so as a result, I don’t know how to start conversations with people about almost anything. I am almost always a skittish disaster when I try to talk to people (aside from work and other obligations.) I made absolutely no friends in high school, and only made a few middle school acquaintances who I don’t keep in contact with anymore. I seriously only have one friend in person that I only get to see rarely, and we seldom discuss my problems.
• I’m very scared to open up to most people because I’m worried of the possibility of leaving disastrous trail behind me. When I do open up to someone, however, it is an extremely slow process and I tend to shy away from everyone who tries to start a conversation with me. It’s interesting since I like having fewer, yet closer friendships. I understand that the biggest thing about me (being trans) is not that much of a big deal in a situation like this, but the anxiety still follows me. Plus, there are a bunch of other quantities of me I only share with my boyfriend because of how high-tension silence inducing they can be, so I guess that’s a thing (I have had on and off phases of misanthropy and nihilism in my early teen years.)

Even with all this mind, I really want to go, but…the problem is that I’m very scared. I’ve told her (my therapist) about this, but I’ve been told that transitioning may be far more difficult if I don’t at least try. It’s the unknown to me, which I think is the scariest part about it.


So…what the hell do I do? Do I try overcome my fears and try to be friends with some people, or do I sit here and wait for things to come to me? I know I want to do the former, but for the love of god I don’t have any idea how!
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  #4336    
Old January 28th, 2014 (03:59 PM). Edited January 28th, 2014 by Faye Rose~.
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Since you've been out of socialization of course it will take a while, but I think that after a while it will start to be easier and come back, so I say go. Nothing to lose

On my side of things, new blog post coming soon... I'm at a complete loss of what to do.

EDIT: Blog post is out.
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  #4337    
Old January 28th, 2014 (08:13 PM).
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I've been reading a couple of the posts here and thought I'd add my input, so I guess I'll be joining. I'm not entirely qualified to give advice on some of these matters, but I assume different perspectives are welcome?


Quote originally posted by TéaQQ:
Okay, I am in need of some advice over some issues at hand here.

First off I will re-introduce myself to give a taste of the situation at hand: I am a male to female transsexual who is not very far in transition at all. I’m only three months into HRT I've done some voice work (I still sound like a guy though.) I am still very boyish in my looks, and I’m still pretty gender-neutral in the ways of dressing.

My therapist suggests the time has come for me to make some friends around here for once, and so, wants me to go to this LGBT center during its drop-in hours and try to meet (and hopefully befriend) some fellow MTFs. If not this, try to go to a support group for those in my age range. While to some people this might seem like no big deal, I have some things about me that make it a huge issue:
• I have been a social recluse for over seven years, so as a result, I don’t know how to start conversations with people about almost anything. I am almost always a skittish disaster when I try to talk to people (aside from work and other obligations.) I made absolutely no friends in high school, and only made a few middle school acquaintances who I don’t keep in contact with anymore. I seriously only have one friend in person that I only get to see rarely, and we seldom discuss my problems.
• I’m very scared to open up to most people because I’m worried of the possibility of leaving disastrous trail behind me. When I do open up to someone, however, it is an extremely slow process and I tend to shy away from everyone who tries to start a conversation with me. It’s interesting since I like having fewer, yet closer friendships. I understand that the biggest thing about me (being trans) is not that much of a big deal in a situation like this, but the anxiety still follows me. Plus, there are a bunch of other quantities of me I only share with my boyfriend because of how high-tension silence inducing they can be, so I guess that’s a thing (I have had on and off phases of misanthropy and nihilism in my early teen years.)

Even with all this mind, I really want to go, but…the problem is that I’m very scared. I’ve told her (my therapist) about this, but I’ve been told that transitioning may be far more difficult if I don’t at least try. It’s the unknown to me, which I think is the scariest part about it.


So…what the hell do I do? Do I try overcome my fears and try to be friends with some people, or do I sit here and wait for things to come to me? I know I want to do the former, but for the love of god I don’t have any idea how!
I say you go. Whether it's something like a support group or LGBT center, I think being around other people who are in the same boat will help. You don't necessarily need to share your life story, maybe take awhile to listen to others and just become comfortable in that sort of environment. Eventually, familiarity will sink in an you can start opening up to other people, who should welcome you and be respectful of you fears and anxiety. You don't have to strike up conversations right away, and perhaps you'll meet other people who feel the same way.

Quote originally posted by Faye Rose~:
Since you've been out of socialization of course it will take a while, but I think that after a while it will start to be easier and come back, so I say go. Nothing to lose

On my side of things, new blog post coming soon... I'm at a complete loss of what to do.

EDIT: Blog post is out.
I guess I don't know the severity of the parent situation, but I've always "been a fan" of explaining yourself to them. If you are truly depressed that's something that would be of concern to them, and if they were to kick you out, or anything to that effect, that would, in all reality, exacerbate the situation. This is where my limited scope of the situation comes into play. I don't want to say that "if they love you they'll accept you", but honestly, I expect that if a parent sees their child suffering, they'll do their best to try and comfort them.

If something like being kicked out or rejected is a real possibility, make sure you stay positive. Go get that license, try to get a job. If 4 months is all it takes, then don't stress out. You should see this time in your life as working towards your eventual goal, instead of being stuck, because although you may not be on hormones, you're still crafting a new life. You've already made tremendous progress, and although it may not be physical, let the prospect of a better life be the motivator.
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  #4338    
Old January 31st, 2014 (03:15 AM).
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Quote originally posted by Alessi_sys:
Congratulations, Somniac! Best wishes to the both of you and for a long and happy life together!
Quote originally posted by Atomic Pirate:
Anyway, Somniac, congrats!
Quote originally posted by TéaQQ:
Holy crap that's amazing! Congrats to you!!
I wrote a blog post about it, the first of many most likely. I'll probably cover some topics that may be relevant to this club in the future, so if anyone is interested feel free to check it out.
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  #4339    
Old January 31st, 2014 (10:22 AM).
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So... my parents snooped through my computer and found out I was trans.

And they're being unsupportive, overcontrolling jerks about it too.

My mom say's she'd rather die than let me transition.

Jerks. Jerks. Jerks.
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  #4340    
Old January 31st, 2014 (10:44 AM).
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I hope you can stick it out? Don't let them get to you! Be the mature one at all times, unless your parents aren't really reasonable people :\
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  #4341    
Old January 31st, 2014 (10:54 AM). Edited January 31st, 2014 by Faye Rose~.
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My mom has the audacity to tell me that 'I don't know what I'm doing' and that 'I'm delusional' She acts like just because she's my mother she knows everything about me inside and out.

She thinks I'm being selfish for wanting this, but it's okay and unselfish for her to try to force me to live my life how she wants me to live it.

Pathetic.
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  #4342    
Old February 2nd, 2014 (12:52 AM).
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So, yesterday I was checking in some guy at work. And he started chatting with me.

Somehow the conversation got to religion, I don't really remember how. And I mentioned that I used to be Catholic. (I then wanted to smack myself in the face because that never leads to anything good) And the guy asked why I used to be. I just tried to shrug it off and just say I didn't meet eye to eye with the church. \

The guy then started ranting about Catholic priests and how they should not let gay men be priests. And he then said that he heard a rumor about a local priest being seen in a gay bar.

I couldn't help it. I told him that, so? Just if a priest is gay, doesn't mean he's a child molester, and that a straight priest could molest a child too. I told him I was once an altar server and the priest could have done something to me, never did, and I never would think my priest to do that.

The guy then goes, well wouldn't I be concerned if I saw someone of influence in a gay bar.

I couldn't help it, again.

I just said I hadn't seen anyone important there lately.

The guy sort of paused. He looks me over and goes, "I don't believe that." I ask him what. "Well, you know."

I pause and say, "Well, my girlfriend probably believes different than you do."

He then just smiles and goes. "Yeah, I don't believe that's true." I just give him a look that just screamed, 'seriously?'. He laughs and keeps going saying how if he gave me an hour to talk how he could change my mind of that. He kept saying that he didn't believe it like I was lying or something.

Oh, gee, another religious person that thinks they can 'fix' me. Not only that, but that guy thought I was 'wrong' about myself.
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  #4343    
Old February 2nd, 2014 (09:33 AM). Edited February 2nd, 2014 by Faye Rose~.
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Quote originally posted by PhantomX0990:
Oh, gee, another religious person that thinks they can 'fix' me. Not only that, but that guy thought I was 'wrong' about myself.
Sounds like my parents. They think they can 'fix' my transgenderism, and they think I'm wrong about what I feel.

Update about my blog, I'm fairly sure that my parents, when they snooped on my laptop, found it so I'm going to move it to a new URL.

Also changed my password on my laptop so they can't do it again.

I am allowed back in my house tomorrow, so my 2 day bout of homelessness is over. In reality, I just sat in my friends' basement playing Pokemon Showdown and drinking Mtn Dew for 2 days.

My parents are sending me to a psychiatrist, they're hoping that they'll diagnose me with some other Mental disorder, when in reality, I'll just get diagnosed with Gender dysphoria. Once they hear that from a doctor, they won't be able to tell me I'm wrong about myself any more.

Check, mate.
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  #4344    
Old February 3rd, 2014 (01:53 AM).
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Parents have this nasty habit of thinking they're right about everything and that they know their children better than their children know themselves. They're wrong, of course, but they don't figure this out until it's too late for it to make any difference to the living situation.

In a few years when you've moved out on your own terms, that's when she'll come to her senses lol. That's what happened with me anyway - not so much about my sexuality but just things in general.
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  #4345    
Old February 3rd, 2014 (02:59 PM).
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Can I join?


Also in relatedness(if that's a word) to the current topic. Parents can seriously suck sometimes.
They act like they know you inside and out, like they know /YOU/ and how /YOU/ feel. You can be telling them with tear-filled eyes that you love somebody and they might just say "I don't think you do".


Its things like that that leave me no choice but to just keep to myself and avoid letting my true feelings show at any cost to anybody IRL. I try to make up for my apathy by being a good friend to people online though.
Doesn't help I've got a ton of issues and I probably can't name half of them. But meh.


Hopefully that was relevant.
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  #4346    
Old February 3rd, 2014 (03:14 PM).
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Quote originally posted by Faye Rose~:
So... my parents snooped through my computer and found out I was trans.

And they're being unsupportive, overcontrolling jerks about it too.

My mom say's she'd rather die than let me transition.

Jerks. Jerks. Jerks.
I guess her love is conditional then. It's not uncommon, I'm afraid. I wish you the best going forward.
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  #4347    
Old February 3rd, 2014 (04:50 PM).
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'Cause why not?
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May I join? I'm bisexual, a Jew, and, uh...yeah.

On topic, parents should love their child no matter what. It is sad that some, as put in the above post, have only conditional love.
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  #4348    
Old February 4th, 2014 (03:23 AM).
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Quote originally posted by Unknown#:
May I join? I'm bisexual, a Jew, and, uh...yeah.

On topic, parents should love their child no matter what. It is sad that some, as put in the above post, have only conditional love.
I completely agree. I am fortunate to have parents who love me no matter what. I just that one day all parents can be unconditionally loving.
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  #4349    
Old February 4th, 2014 (05:24 PM).
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Unknown#
'Cause why not?
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Part of what I said in that post were a direct quote from my mom. Strangely enough, my parents still don't know that I'm bi.
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  #4350    
Old February 4th, 2014 (08:07 PM).
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http://imgur.com/gallery/EnOhK

Wow. These parents seem like they love their kids no matter what. Something that caught my eye, felt like it was worth sharing.
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