Hoenn RéBURST [M] [OOC + SU]
- Thread starter Vato
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TornZero
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IcyBurn, since he's already been accepted and decided he has time to join in, has Torchic. Mudkipz is available, though! I do have to ask, though, why do you keep the Team Rocket reference? I mean, literally all you did was take out the fact they had a Meowth with them and make it so Steelix didn't actually hit them. You even kept the very obvious reference to G/S/C at the end, which I'm not sure Vato totally picked up on the first time.
Also, reading the rest of the history, where did "his Staryu" come from? If he had a Staryu, why would he bother going all the way to Hoenn just to abandon it and get a starter Pokémon? I mean, he already has a Pokémon; why would the professor send him a letter?
Also, reading the rest of the history, where did "his Staryu" come from? If he had a Staryu, why would he bother going all the way to Hoenn just to abandon it and get a starter Pokémon? I mean, he already has a Pokémon; why would the professor send him a letter?
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Bleacher
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So I need to edit the Team Rocket reference, GSC reference & Staryu? Done editting, check it out now.
IcyBurn, bailed out, I wanted the Torchic. I thought that it was'nt reserved? From the very first day, I wanted a Torchic. -_-0
!
IcyBurn, bailed out, I wanted the Torchic. I thought that it was'nt reserved? From the very first day, I wanted a Torchic. -_-0
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Vato
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First of all, this anger (I'm assuming it's anger by the way you typed it) is pretty much unnecessary, kinda rude in my opinion.
Yes, you wanted Torchic, but IcyBrn took it.
Yes, he decidd to withdraw, but round a day after notifying me with this VM:
He decided to send me this other VM:
I decided to accept him because your SU wasn't done because of the whole Team Rocket stuff. But in case you're wondering, you reserve a spot, not a Pokemon, both you and IcyBurn wantd that Torchic, but IcyBurn made a SU that I considered complete before you, and despite withdrawing, I didn't accept you because I hadn't had the time to reply to your SU, but I would have said the same as Torn (except for hat GSC reference, I have no idea why I didn't notice it) meaning that Torchicwould have still been available even if IcyBurn had had that change of heart later on.
I agreed to let him join once more because I would hate to just refuse to after he gladly did the edits I told him to do, and even answered my questions about his character. I understand you're mad because of this, but it's first come first serve when it comes to starters..
As a side note, I have edited the OOC, updating it with whatever had to be updated... But if you need to create a new OOC to keep track of any changes, feel fre to do so Torn.
And now I'm off... For real... Kinda... Still gotta edit the IC for one last time...
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OrangeNess
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I don't mean to be rude, but am I accepted? I haven't gotten anything about my SU that I changed.
Bleacher
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Sorry if my post sounded rude, I had a really bad day with my ex. Coming to the point, it wasn't anger, but sadness. Cause I was basing my char on Torchic line, even had a draft in my head how Torchic helps him to catch pokemon, battle the Braviary man, things like that. If my SU gets accepted, I'll wait if some new starter is brought out, otherwise I'm taking Mudkip.
TornZero
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Since there are already so many starters (and only four are actual starters), there won't be more. However, I can say that (since I'm not going to be nit-picky about names here — really, Jupiter? Not something, you know, human? Along with it, "Jupe" just sounds extremely silly. Seriously. Say it; I dare you; see how silly it sounds yet, especially for a Pokémon world human to be named after the real world Roman king of gods?) with the history edited and no other noticeable issues that actually need to be taken care of, your character now has a Mudkip and you are allowed to make your first post.
Torrent
- Tackle
- Sludge
- Protect
(Seriously, though, I really have to recommend a name change before you start. I feel like I have to just call him Ju Ju to get over his name, then it makes me think of jujubes, and then I get hungry.)
@OrangeNess, I'll make sure to take a look at yours soon — I'm low on time right now.
Torrent
- Tackle
- Sludge
- Protect
(Seriously, though, I really have to recommend a name change before you start. I feel like I have to just call him Ju Ju to get over his name, then it makes me think of jujubes, and then I get hungry.)
@OrangeNess, I'll make sure to take a look at yours soon — I'm low on time right now.
TornZero
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@Bleacher & Icy Burn: In your posts, they're saying you each got a PokéGear. It's actually the PokéDex. xD Huge difference there.
I'd say very unrealistic. They aren't like Jigglypuff, who're obviously willing to stalk the characters across every region just to make them enjoy her concert (or draw on their faces). Up to three or four posts for stalking, encountering and catching/beating would be fine, though.
You're welcome to join back in anytime, Zerin. Until then, I think Arla's going to be a bit lonelier!
I'd say very unrealistic. They aren't like Jigglypuff, who're obviously willing to stalk the characters across every region just to make them enjoy her concert (or draw on their faces). Up to three or four posts for stalking, encountering and catching/beating would be fine, though.
You're welcome to join back in anytime, Zerin. Until then, I think Arla's going to be a bit lonelier!
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Logan
[img]http://pldh.net/media/pokecons_action/403.gif
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Name: Jack 'There are cat videos on the internet!' Burridge
Age: 17
Gender: Male
Appearance: Jack is a scruffy character; this probably stems from his upbringing and troubled past. Since having his adolescent growth spurt he always wears the same jogging bottoms, navy jacket and navy cap look. His clothes are often dirty and unwashed coming from the fact Jack is always outside and probably sleeping rough also. Underneath his navy blue cap Jack dons flowing black locks that would probably reach down the majority of his back if it weren't for his ponytail being wrapped inside his cap.
Personality: Despite having a troubled past and being somewhat of an alienated loner form other people his own age, Jack is still willing to make friends and only wants to move on from his past and start his life afresh. Unfortunately because of Jack's scruffy appearance many others don't want to talk to Jack and this alienation affects him dearly. Jack has a vicious streak that has got him into much trouble in his short, yet eventful, life so far and if people don't treat him like he treats them Jack will snap and then everyone gets the wrong end of the stick.
History: As previously mentioned Jack has had somewhat of a troubled past. He has grown up on the rough side of town without either of his parent's love. Jack has always been made to fend for himself; often going against his own moral values to steal from others just to get by in life. His parents weren't very static people, always moving home without breathing even a word to Jack. Jack has spent some time staying in their abandoned homes by himself but, to this day, still has no knowledge of their whereabouts.
Pokémon: Phanphy
Age: 17
Gender: Male
Appearance: Jack is a scruffy character; this probably stems from his upbringing and troubled past. Since having his adolescent growth spurt he always wears the same jogging bottoms, navy jacket and navy cap look. His clothes are often dirty and unwashed coming from the fact Jack is always outside and probably sleeping rough also. Underneath his navy blue cap Jack dons flowing black locks that would probably reach down the majority of his back if it weren't for his ponytail being wrapped inside his cap.
Personality: Despite having a troubled past and being somewhat of an alienated loner form other people his own age, Jack is still willing to make friends and only wants to move on from his past and start his life afresh. Unfortunately because of Jack's scruffy appearance many others don't want to talk to Jack and this alienation affects him dearly. Jack has a vicious streak that has got him into much trouble in his short, yet eventful, life so far and if people don't treat him like he treats them Jack will snap and then everyone gets the wrong end of the stick.
History: As previously mentioned Jack has had somewhat of a troubled past. He has grown up on the rough side of town without either of his parent's love. Jack has always been made to fend for himself; often going against his own moral values to steal from others just to get by in life. His parents weren't very static people, always moving home without breathing even a word to Jack. Jack has spent some time staying in their abandoned homes by himself but, to this day, still has no knowledge of their whereabouts.
Pokémon: Phanphy
TornZero
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The first thing I noticed, Manipulation, is that it's quite short. Also, while the Appearance and Personality sections seem fine (though the latter could use a bit of expansion), the history's lacking, and doesn't make much sense. Where did he actually come from? Why did he have to resort to stealing? Surely his parents still fed him, even if they never spoke to him. Did he have any friends — and if not, why? Constantly-gone parents aren't necessarily much of an excuse. What drove him to going to Hoenn and starting a Pokémon training journey?
It might help to take a look at some of the other sign-ups. (They don't have to be as long as Fuyu's or Mr. Mammoth's, of course.)
Now, for OrangeNess, because that's been put off enough. While it's fine in length now, some things are still very odd. Why does she carry weaponry? Weapons are never generally seen in the Pokémon world. Even the villains use Pokémon instead of knives and guns. While it's fine to have the Trick Master as a relative, why are his sister and her kids addicted to puzzles and riddles, too? Siblings don't tend to become clones of each other, and kids can grow up drastically different from their parents regardless of environment. (Some Amish families, for example, encourage their kids to see the real world as a coming of age-type activity, to see if they want to stay... you know, Amish.) Also, why do you just say, "She has a very high IQ..." without anything to actually support that besides a love of puzzles? What makes that true? Along with it, IQ can technically only be determined by imperfect tests. I have to ask that you refrain from using IQ as an indicator of her intelligence. Provide examples and the like.
On the history, what makes Emma's father "one of the biggest rivals" to the man who's arguably the world's best coordinator? Does he have a sort of elegance to commanding a team of Feebas, Muk and female Machamp? Does he excel in the battle portion of Pokémon Contests and can somehow manage to knock out Wallace's Milotic without too much struggle? "A while" also doesn't mean "two years". For all we know, Team Aqua and Team Magma could have disbanded years before any of the characters in this RP were born. While using her mother's Plusle and Minun is fine, please remove the section about the disbanded teams.
Then there's just this gap that seems to come out of nowhere.
Lastly, from the things I noticed on a light read, "This young girl's story begins here." is extremely cliché-sounding, and frankly just looks silly. Then, right before that, it looks like you made a direct reference to the first episode of the anime's Hoenn saga. It makes me think Emma's going to come across Professor Birch and get her first Pokémon just like May did.
It might help to take a look at some of the other sign-ups. (They don't have to be as long as Fuyu's or Mr. Mammoth's, of course.)
Now, for OrangeNess, because that's been put off enough. While it's fine in length now, some things are still very odd. Why does she carry weaponry? Weapons are never generally seen in the Pokémon world. Even the villains use Pokémon instead of knives and guns. While it's fine to have the Trick Master as a relative, why are his sister and her kids addicted to puzzles and riddles, too? Siblings don't tend to become clones of each other, and kids can grow up drastically different from their parents regardless of environment. (Some Amish families, for example, encourage their kids to see the real world as a coming of age-type activity, to see if they want to stay... you know, Amish.) Also, why do you just say, "She has a very high IQ..." without anything to actually support that besides a love of puzzles? What makes that true? Along with it, IQ can technically only be determined by imperfect tests. I have to ask that you refrain from using IQ as an indicator of her intelligence. Provide examples and the like.
On the history, what makes Emma's father "one of the biggest rivals" to the man who's arguably the world's best coordinator? Does he have a sort of elegance to commanding a team of Feebas, Muk and female Machamp? Does he excel in the battle portion of Pokémon Contests and can somehow manage to knock out Wallace's Milotic without too much struggle? "A while" also doesn't mean "two years". For all we know, Team Aqua and Team Magma could have disbanded years before any of the characters in this RP were born. While using her mother's Plusle and Minun is fine, please remove the section about the disbanded teams.
Then there's just this gap that seems to come out of nowhere.
Lastly, from the things I noticed on a light read, "This young girl's story begins here." is extremely cliché-sounding, and frankly just looks silly. Then, right before that, it looks like you made a direct reference to the first episode of the anime's Hoenn saga. It makes me think Emma's going to come across Professor Birch and get her first Pokémon just like May did.
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TornZero
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You'd have to find the Move Tutor first, and they typically don't leave their homes. TMs should generally be taught the same way — that is, someone teaching them. They can also learn and use it spontaneously, such as in times of high stress (read: by the GM telling you, to prevent you from abusing it).
Basically, without GM approval, stick to learned-by-level moves.
Also, why is no one posting? POST, YOU GLAYBERDORFS! (Yeah, I went there!)
Basically, without GM approval, stick to learned-by-level moves.
Also, why is no one posting? POST, YOU GLAYBERDORFS! (Yeah, I went there!)
OrangeNess
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@TornZero
It sounded like how May got her pokemon? Wow, never thought of it that way. Hmm... And I know of the cliche, I just couldn't think of a way to end it! xD Yeah, I'll fix that. And I also have a reason for her carrying weapons, which I will explain on my next edit. And a reason for her obsession with puzzles, which was not because of her mother, but her uncle. I will also put that in my next edit. I used IQ because I wasn't sure if "smarts" was in the dictionary, and I have a reson for that, too. When I'm through with the rewrite, it will be longer even without the Magma/Aqua section!
It sounded like how May got her pokemon? Wow, never thought of it that way. Hmm... And I know of the cliche, I just couldn't think of a way to end it! xD Yeah, I'll fix that. And I also have a reason for her carrying weapons, which I will explain on my next edit. And a reason for her obsession with puzzles, which was not because of her mother, but her uncle. I will also put that in my next edit. I used IQ because I wasn't sure if "smarts" was in the dictionary, and I have a reson for that, too. When I'm through with the rewrite, it will be longer even without the Magma/Aqua section!
TornZero
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There is literally no legitimate reason for a Pokémon world character to carry a weapon.
OrangeNess
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I've got this in the bag!
Name: Emma van Boven
Age: 13 1/2
Gender: Female
Appearance: Emma is a semi-tanned girl with straight brown hair and a thin figure. She is also obsessed with the color green and wears green everything except pants, and for those she wears blue jeans. One other instance in which she only wears a miniscule amount of green is during her contests, and for those she wears a top hat and trench coat. Emma carries around a green purse which is pretty organised. One of Emma's favorite shirts says, "There are cat videos on the internet!" on it. She always has at least one scab every day and because of this, carries some pikachu band-aids around with her. For her height, she is 4'11". She has a PokeNav because she likes to remember everyone she has met. She rarely has much money on her for two reasons: The first being she loses battles often, and the other being she is a careless spender.
Personality: Emma is an energetic girl with a love for puzzles. This is due to having the Trick Master's sister as her mother. Emma's love for puzzles really shines in her contests, in which she combines her pokemon's moves with her puzzles of her own creation. If you give Emma a riddle she can't solve, she will go into deep thought and probably not talk for a while. Emma is a very good student and when presented with a test, will do it. She also will travel with others if she finds you to be a nice person, but don't double cross her, or you will end up in a perdicament from which there is no escape. She is a very talented pokeblack maker and even sold them as a buisness in Lilycove. Her favorite berries to use are Cheri berries. She is not really taken seriously as a pokemon trainer, and she will be seriously offended if teased because of this. She loves the idea of a bond between every pokemon and trainer, and will fight againsed anyone who dislikes this bond (Team Plasma is an example). She is not a very good battler, but this does not matter, because she's not really a trainer, but a coodinator. She carries a PokeNav because she loves remembering everyone she meets and she gets lost often, so the map feature come in handy for her often.
History: Emma was born with the Trick Master's sister as her mother and a cordinator as a father. Her father is a semi-well known coordinator. She began to get bored in school, and was finishing her homework with nothing to do afterward. She began to look for ways to occupy herself. One of these ways was through her uncle. Her uncle introduced into the world of magic tricks and puzzles, and she became obsessed. Her mother loathed puzzles, because when she lived with her brother, he would not stop talking about them. Her love for contests began when her mother took her to a Master Contest in there home town, Lillycove City. She loved the beauty and grace of the pokemon, and ended up taking part in a contest with her mother's Plusle and Minun. She won, but she felt it was a hallow victory. Emma felt it was a hollow victory because she did not train the pokemon herself. She was 11 years old at the time. She was set on catching her own pokemon from then on. After two entire years of failing to catch a pokemon, 6 months after her 13th birthday she received the letter from Prof. Birch saying she could get a pokemon of her own. So, after a long day of goodbyes, Emma left to obtain her first pokemon. On the way, she began to wonder about what kind of people and pokemon she'll meet on her journey to enter the Wallace Cup. Forgetting the thought, she began peddling harder on her bike ride to Littleroot town.
Name: Emma van Boven
Age: 13 1/2
Gender: Female
Appearance: Emma is a semi-tanned girl with straight brown hair and a thin figure. She is also obsessed with the color green and wears green everything except pants, and for those she wears blue jeans. One other instance in which she only wears a miniscule amount of green is during her contests, and for those she wears a top hat and trench coat. Emma carries around a green purse which is pretty organised. One of Emma's favorite shirts says, "There are cat videos on the internet!" on it. She always has at least one scab every day and because of this, carries some pikachu band-aids around with her. For her height, she is 4'11". She has a PokeNav because she likes to remember everyone she has met. She rarely has much money on her for two reasons: The first being she loses battles often, and the other being she is a careless spender.
Personality: Emma is an energetic girl with a love for puzzles. This is due to having the Trick Master's sister as her mother. Emma's love for puzzles really shines in her contests, in which she combines her pokemon's moves with her puzzles of her own creation. If you give Emma a riddle she can't solve, she will go into deep thought and probably not talk for a while. Emma is a very good student and when presented with a test, will do it. She also will travel with others if she finds you to be a nice person, but don't double cross her, or you will end up in a perdicament from which there is no escape. She is a very talented pokeblack maker and even sold them as a buisness in Lilycove. Her favorite berries to use are Cheri berries. She is not really taken seriously as a pokemon trainer, and she will be seriously offended if teased because of this. She loves the idea of a bond between every pokemon and trainer, and will fight againsed anyone who dislikes this bond (Team Plasma is an example). She is not a very good battler, but this does not matter, because she's not really a trainer, but a coodinator. She carries a PokeNav because she loves remembering everyone she meets and she gets lost often, so the map feature come in handy for her often.
History: Emma was born with the Trick Master's sister as her mother and a cordinator as a father. Her father is a semi-well known coordinator. She began to get bored in school, and was finishing her homework with nothing to do afterward. She began to look for ways to occupy herself. One of these ways was through her uncle. Her uncle introduced into the world of magic tricks and puzzles, and she became obsessed. Her mother loathed puzzles, because when she lived with her brother, he would not stop talking about them. Her love for contests began when her mother took her to a Master Contest in there home town, Lillycove City. She loved the beauty and grace of the pokemon, and ended up taking part in a contest with her mother's Plusle and Minun. She won, but she felt it was a hallow victory. Emma felt it was a hollow victory because she did not train the pokemon herself. She was 11 years old at the time. She was set on catching her own pokemon from then on. After two entire years of failing to catch a pokemon, 6 months after her 13th birthday she received the letter from Prof. Birch saying she could get a pokemon of her own. So, after a long day of goodbyes, Emma left to obtain her first pokemon. On the way, she began to wonder about what kind of people and pokemon she'll meet on her journey to enter the Wallace Cup. Forgetting the thought, she began peddling harder on her bike ride to Littleroot town.
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