Your 14 year old sibling wants to have sex.

This situation has already occurred in my case (somewhat), where my nephew of 16 has just recently had a baby with his similarly aged girlfriend. There were two things I said to him: 1. congratulations, and 2. if you need any help, just let me know.

You see, I don't believe in judging what other people do in their lives, including family members, if they're not hurting themselves or someone else. My only concern is that they be happy. And despite their young age, I can tell you, both my Nephew and his girlfriend are very happy and both are also receiving a lot of help from their families. No judgements. No condemnations. Just unconditional love and support. I'm sure privately some thought they were foolish for not taking precautions. But they refuse to allow their own personal feelings to interfere with the couple and their daughter.

Reading some of the comments in this thread reminds me that there are still so many people who think it's their right to dictate the lives of others (including family members) based on their own beliefs and feelings. Instead of being judgemental and critical, we should at all times give our love and support to our loved ones, no matter what their decisions in life are. We aren't required to agree with them, and yes we certainly can voice our disapproval, but we should always do it with love, not anger. To threaten consequences is not only irresponsible, it is also counter-productive.

This is really awkward for fourteen year olds on PC. Like me. :/ I know other fourteen year olds that are not virgins (I am a virgin tho). Is this what my older sister thinks of me? I just want to say, as friends, not to do it. What if you are not protected enough? You might be throwing away your entire life if you accidentally get pregnant. If people find out, you may be judged as a h0e, wh0re, or something worse, especially if you are not very popular or charismatic. Just get past your studies, and then it's safer social-wise (still don't encourage it if you are a 14 year old with a doctor's degree). But friends don't have to always listen to friends, so the best thing to do, is to listen to your gut, even if it may be wrong.

My brothers 16 but I'd give him a high five if she was hot and a punch if she wasn't saying "wake up". Throw him a condom and say I don't need to know anymore

Get the shotgun and shoot the guy if he comes to the door, I kid I kid

Despite being 17 and a virgin,I think 16 is TOO young let alone 14.
Does your parents care about sex? Tell them! They have more power.
If not,Tell her use Condoms and Birth Control,if she gets preggo she's on her own. It is cruel,but you gotta learn one day, You parents might not follow you but you can break ties with her.

I'm also pretty sure where you're from sex is ILLEGAL. and the male can be charged with Stat rape? I'm not sure if it counts if they are both under A.O.C and if...heaven forbid the male is 18+ he can also be charged with Pedophile type charges.

Also,She shouldn't be interested(Psychologically 14 year olds are still getting geared up for mature thinking and sex drive isn't active yet and usually isn't in psych till 16 any ways, although it's not concrete) ,and I'm concerned that she's been pushed into it.

In the end,I would tell her wait until it's legal and go for there.

...
Just an FYI.. I'm definitely a pervert. I read that title wrong. Very Wrong.

If it was a sibling of mine... (I have none sadly)
A. Use protection
B. Make sure it's with someone who truly cares about it.
C. Do not do it because of peer-pressure.
D. If that person is more than 3 years older than you... HELL NO.
E. If that person's mother still chooses his/her clothes AND/OR he/she scootered to your house... HELL NO. I don't care the gender or the love connection, I will carry that person home for nap time and thump the hell out of you. ("You Crazy?"*THUMP*"That boy-"*THUMP*"-was 11."*THUMP*"And he scootered here."*THUMP*"SCOOTERED!"*Double THUMP for Emphasis*

And for those sad few who do not know what thump means...



Now you know the name of what it is that you were doing. Also called finger flicking, although that name is confused with something else too.

All the people that would abandon their family members because they made a mistake that has nothing to do with them is scary.

I would tell them, boy or girl, to not be afraid of Planned Parenthood and let me know if they need a ride or some money for Plan B in case something goes awry. I would probably also make sure they were well aware of the lines of consent; there's not enough consent education in our society yet and I would want them to know what crosses lines, both so they know what's inappropriate if someone tries something and so they know not to try things themselves.

SacredHeart said:

Get the shotgun and shoot the guy if he comes to the door, I kid I kid

Despite being 17 and a virgin,I think 16 is TOO young let alone 14.
Does your parents care about sex? Tell them! They have more power.
If not,Tell her use Condoms and Birth Control,if she gets preggo she's on her own. It is cruel,but you gotta learn one day, You parents might not follow you but you can break ties with her.

I'm also pretty sure where you're from sex is ILLEGAL. and the male can be charged with Stat rape? I'm not sure if it counts if they are both under A.O.C and if...heaven forbid the male is 18+ he can also be charged with Pedophile type charges.

Also,She shouldn't be interested(Psychologically 14 year olds are still getting geared up for mature thinking and sex drive isn't active yet and usually isn't in psych till 16 any ways, although it's not concrete) ,and I'm concerned that she's been pushed into it.

In the end,I would tell her wait until it's legal and go for there.

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I would like to address several points of yours.

1. Sex before the age of 16 is not illegal, contrary to the beliefs of some. In some places, the age of consent is as low as 14. Also, a lot of places have put in place a "buffer" where if there is an age difference between two people who wish to engage in sexual activity, even if one party is below the legal age of consent, provided the other person is older by no more than a certain number of years (usually 3), it would not be illegal for them to have sex.

2. You addressed the number one cause of alarm for advocates fighting against homeless children: the rejection by family members. All love should be unconditional within a family. There should never be any arbitrary conditions placed on that love. I strongly believe that if we put conditions on our love, then what we have is not truly love. And within a family, if this love for each other is conditional, then it's not really a family at all. Rather it's just a group of people living together and woe be to the person who dares to break one of those conditions. Anyone who would reject a family member for their actions should be ashamed of themselves.

3. You raise the issue of paedophilia, but that doesn't really apply in this case does it? Paedophilia is the victimization of pre-pubescent children by a much older person who is physically attracted to those pre-pubescent children. it does not apply in a case where a 14 year old wishes to engage in sexual relations with someone they most likely are already dating and who may or may not be a few years older or younger than themselves. Remember paedophilia is about the sexual exploitation of pre-pubescent children. It has absolutely nothing to do with teenagers who have already begun, or already gone through, puberty.

The age of consent is everything, and coupled with it is the existence of a buffer allowing a certain number of years age difference if one or both is below the legal age of consent. If both of these conditions are present, then legally that 14 year old could potentially have sex with someone as old as 17 without there being anything anyone legally could do about it. It is very important for you to check with the laws where you live before making statements about the legality of sexual relations between minors.

@SacredHeart - I just want to add another point in, if you think that the majority of fourteen-year-olds have no sex drive you've been mislead or lived a very sheltered life (sorry for the harshness there, but I think that gets the point across).

The hormones that makes us want to have sex are always present in small degrees, and they go absolutely haywire once puberty begins. Biologically speaking our bodies are telling us to go and have sex as early as 9-10 - especially in girls who begin puberty a few years earlier on average. The reason we don't is because of the law and because of social norms, it has absolutely nothing to do with sex-drive. The sex drive exists, that's why the vast majority of teens (and adults too) tend to turn to other means to control sexual urges when in situations when they shouldn't/can't actually have sex.

I just think it's kind of silly to assume that there's no sex drive until you reach 16 (which is the age of consent in most places), like there's some magical moment when we all suddenly start getting aroused and like the law controls our body functions. The fact of the matter is, most of us had some sort of sex-drive at that age which is why people at fourteen and even younger are having sex despite the law and why situations like the one given by the OP can occur. I still stand firm in my belief that sex before you're legally old enough and certainly before you're emotionally and financially ready for possible consequences is something that should be discouraged but to deny the obvious reason for such problems existing seems a little foolish to me.

Id let them do what they want aslong as they dont start asking money from me to take their bf/gf out

i'd threaten to tell my parents then i WOULD tell my parents, i'd force them to ground her and to make sure she can't get outside, no matter what. she'd have to be an idiot and i'd be ashamed to have her as my sister and um, i could do other things to, a LOT.

i'd phone up her boyfriend are after threatening to report her to my parents (i'd tell them anyway but yeah) then i'd tell him to piss off or i'll smash in his knee-cap. :p

then i'd remove her phone/computer/everything in her room because let's face it, teens be as stupid as rocks with brain damage when it comes to hormones, am i rite? Cx

harsh? who cares! i wouldn't want my little sister getting pregnant with some disgusting guy i don't know who probably encouraged her. >_<

Salamence62 said:

i'd threaten to tell my parents then i WOULD tell my parents, i'd force them to ground her and to make sure she can't get outside, no matter what. she'd have to be an idiot and i'd be ashamed to have her as my sister and um, i could do other things to, a LOT.

i'd phone up her boyfriend are after threatening to report her to my parents (i'd tell them anyway but yeah) then i'd tell him to piss off or i'll smash in his knee-cap. :p

then i'd remove her phone/computer/everything in her room because let's face it, teens be as stupid as rocks with brain damage when it comes to hormones, am i rite? Cx

harsh? who cares! i wouldn't want my little sister getting pregnant with some disgusting guy i don't know who probably encouraged her. >_<

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Oh yeah, that'd be real effective ... at getting yourself put in jail.

how? cx unless he reported me to the police, lol.

at least it'd repel the damn blighter. >:p

SacredHeart said:

Psychologically 14 year olds are still getting geared up for mature thinking and sex drive isn't active yet and usually isn't in psych till 16 any ways, although it's not concrete.

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I'm calling B.S. on that one. I know without a shadow of a doubt that sex drives exist at fourteen.

As far back as thirteen, I've been having sexual fantasies and hormone surges. I masturbated so much during middle school I'm amazed my hand didn't fall off.

Try again.

An increase in the interest in sexual activity can begin as early as the onset of puberty. It varies, though, when a person begins puberty. But generally, it is far more common for women to mature earlier than men. It has been documented that environment plays a very important role in determining when puberty begins, and in some cases the onset of puberty has been shown to be affected by the increased usage of common household chemicals. It is not unheard of for a female to begin puberty at the age of 5 and a male at about 8. There have also been documented instances of females as young as 5 and 7 becoming pregnant.

So for anyone to say there is a set age that people begin showing an interest in sex is simply not true. Everyone is different. Biology and a person's environment will both play a very critical role in determining when someone will begin to want to have sex.