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  #1    
Old June 14th, 2012, 08:50 AM
Steller the Raichu's Avatar
Steller the Raichu
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A streak darts across the clear blue waters
Splitting it like curtains on a stage
Proud and triumphant
Shining brightly for all to see

A force so fast, so bold
Strikes as fast as a snake
Protecting the weak
Never giving up

The Wott, upholding strength
Always standing for justice
The Wott has a heart of steel, yet...a heart of compassion and kindness
Bold, Brave, Strong, Kind, that is, The Way of the Wott
  #2    
Old June 19th, 2012, 04:21 PM
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This poem is really good, but I don't like the use of the word "Wott" as a shortened version of Oshawott. I know that's what makes the poem fit etc, but it just seems like such an iffy word to describe something so stealthy and powerful. I guess the word itself kinda resembles "wat", which doesn't paint a nice image in my mind when I'm reading the poem. D: Although other than that I love the use of adjectives to portray the Oshawott's heroic nature and mighty skills/abilities; you've really made Oshawott seem like a true paladin of the water as it bursts onto the stage for all to see! Good job. c:
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Old November 29th, 2012, 08:05 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AlexOzzyCake View Post
seems like such an iffy word to describe something so stealthy and powerful. I guess the word itself kinda resembles "wat", which doesn't paint a nice image in my mind when I'm reading the poem.:
actually i guess wott can be perceived as water as oshawott is a water type plus i think the image of a water type should be very clear since he introduces it in the first stanza, but just my opinion.

As for the poem i like the flow of the poem shifting from the aspect of type of Pokemon, which is water to its ability of swift bold action and then moving on to praise its emotion. so good job on that. What i don't get however, is the lines

Quote:
Originally Posted by Steller the Raichu View Post
"Strikes as fast as a snake
Protecting the weak" :
you see in most poetry snake is usually perceived as evil due to the biblical references, while you mention it as protecting the weak. so i think this is a bit contradictory, also oshawott doesn't really have much caparison with a snake, so that kind of seems unbalanced as well, but nonetheless it doesn't effect the flow of the poem.

You should try to pay attention to some themes next time maybe, but nonetheless it is a beautiful poem which strikes as great praise and overall comes of as a great ode to osha"wott"
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  #4    
Old November 30th, 2012, 03:11 PM
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While it's great to see you reviewing poems, just remember to keep the thread revival rule in mind. Only the author of the thread can revive it with new work. If anyone else does it, it's bumping a dead thread, and that's against the rules.

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