I think for me it was easier since I live with my 86 yr old aunt and 85 yr old grandma. Well my aunt is kinda old school so for her its kinda hard to accept. My grandma totally accepts it but is confused on what it truly means. So I find it sweet she does her best to understand.
The Rainbow Connection [LGBTS Club]
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Shining Raichu
Expect me like you expect Jesus.
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Welcome, QT! Adding your name to the memberlist now :)
I just think if parents just went into child-rearing with an open mind rather than letting their minds wander and have fantasies about our potential lives, it'd be much easier on everybody involved lol
I just think if parents just went into child-rearing with an open mind rather than letting their minds wander and have fantasies about our potential lives, it'd be much easier on everybody involved lol
Ineffable~
DAT SNARKITUDE
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Agreed totally, but I'm gonna tiptoe around the deep end of this topic because I can get way too fired up about it.
Suffice it to say, I definitely think I haven't lived up to my parents' expectations in any way.
I'm glad you've decided to join QT, welcome. (=
Well we could probably turn this coversation over and not limit it to just parents, but friends and significant others as well. Living while knowing certain people have expectations for you is thoroughly stressful, unless you decide to ignore it (which I find difficult, usually it causes negative feelings), but I couldn't tell you how many times I've been put on some sort of pedestal that I really feel I have no right being on. Especially with significant others, I'm sure someone here knows what I'm talking about. I don't want to be talked up so much that it feels like I can't "pull through" at some point. Sorry for the chalky description, I'm having a hard time finding the right words. I know it's supposed to be a positive gesture from the person, but it can pack a lot of stress on your shoulders.
Well we could probably turn this coversation over and not limit it to just parents, but friends and significant others as well. Living while knowing certain people have expectations for you is thoroughly stressful, unless you decide to ignore it (which I find difficult, usually it causes negative feelings), but I couldn't tell you how many times I've been put on some sort of pedestal that I really feel I have no right being on. Especially with significant others, I'm sure someone here knows what I'm talking about. I don't want to be talked up so much that it feels like I can't "pull through" at some point. Sorry for the chalky description, I'm having a hard time finding the right words. I know it's supposed to be a positive gesture from the person, but it can pack a lot of stress on your shoulders.
Who's Kiyo?
puking rainbows
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OH OH SHARING TIME <3
So I came out to my Dad the other day.
I decided to tell him the next time he picked me up, and I made sure he was the one coming to get me. Thankfully, my mom had a holiday party that day, so he had to be the one to come get me.
*Pick up*
Me: Hey dad. [Pause] How was your day? Not too stressful?
Dad: Not really. You?
Me: Fine, fine. [Pause] Say Dad, you know that club I go to on wednesdays?
Dad: Yeah?
Me: It's the Gay-Straight Alliance.
Dad: Gay-Straight Alliance. Okay. Why are you telling me this?
Me: ....Because I'm gay.
[Sudden off-topic conversation about what I do in gsa followed]
Dad: [Pause] So are you sure?
Me: Really sure.
Dad: What made you decide this?
Me: I didn't really decide.
Dad: ....So you do know I knew this already?
Me: I figured.
Dad: Well yeah, Joe. I know my kids very well.
Me: What tipped you off?
Dad: Well.... I dunno. You were always so sensitive. [Pause] Yet, still a manly-man! ....I dunno.
Me: Was it just different?
Dad: No, just.... I don't really know. I just knew. Joe, it doesn't really matter what your sexual preference is. You're my boy.
Me: <3
Dad: [Parental pride shaking knee thing] Such a brave boy you are!
[Awesome conversation followed]
Pretty freaking awesome.
So I came out to my Dad the other day.
I decided to tell him the next time he picked me up, and I made sure he was the one coming to get me. Thankfully, my mom had a holiday party that day, so he had to be the one to come get me.
*Pick up*
Me: Hey dad. [Pause] How was your day? Not too stressful?
Dad: Not really. You?
Me: Fine, fine. [Pause] Say Dad, you know that club I go to on wednesdays?
Dad: Yeah?
Me: It's the Gay-Straight Alliance.
Dad: Gay-Straight Alliance. Okay. Why are you telling me this?
Me: ....Because I'm gay.
[Sudden off-topic conversation about what I do in gsa followed]
Dad: [Pause] So are you sure?
Me: Really sure.
Dad: What made you decide this?
Me: I didn't really decide.
Dad: ....So you do know I knew this already?
Me: I figured.
Dad: Well yeah, Joe. I know my kids very well.
Me: What tipped you off?
Dad: Well.... I dunno. You were always so sensitive. [Pause] Yet, still a manly-man! ....I dunno.
Me: Was it just different?
Dad: No, just.... I don't really know. I just knew. Joe, it doesn't really matter what your sexual preference is. You're my boy.
Me: <3
Dad: [Parental pride shaking knee thing] Such a brave boy you are!
[Awesome conversation followed]
Pretty freaking awesome.
Hey, I'm so happy for you!
It's such a big step, but it seems like everything feel into place exactly the way you planned it to. Congratulations on having the courage to tell your dad (and in a pretty smooth way too, if I might add), it's admirable of you. I'm glad your dad was accepting as well, he sounds like a really proud parent.
It sucks that we're in a position to be so excited and happy for a parent to accept us as their child for who we are, absurd actually. Ah, no getting around it so no use complaining too much.
Good for you , a freaking awesome moment indeed. (=
It's such a big step, but it seems like everything feel into place exactly the way you planned it to. Congratulations on having the courage to tell your dad (and in a pretty smooth way too, if I might add), it's admirable of you. I'm glad your dad was accepting as well, he sounds like a really proud parent.
It sucks that we're in a position to be so excited and happy for a parent to accept us as their child for who we are, absurd actually. Ah, no getting around it so no use complaining too much.
Good for you , a freaking awesome moment indeed. (=
That's so awesome! You're very lucky to have a father that is so loving and supportive of his children. I know I was pretty apprehensive about telling my dad I was gay, but it sounds like you two have a great relationship.
So touching. :3
So touching. :3
-Jared-
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Oh that is so awesome! :D :D :D I am so glad it went well! We need more of these stories, so thank you for sharing it with us!
Plus, that line I bolded up there was my favorite part. He was like, trying so hard not to hurt your feelings. So much awwwwwww! x3
Phantom1
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I didn't want to tell my mom, she found out, and was sort of pissed but had no reason to.
See we had gone to the family cabin and my cell phone wasn't working so she loaned me hers. I used it to go on fb, and check some things. Well I was stupid and forgot to log out. The next morning my mom comes up to me telling me, "Why are you lying to *name? You don't need to lie to make friends" then she went on a rant. And I'm standing there like, wait, what the hell happened what are you talking about.
Turns out she'd seen I was still logged on so she helped herself to my PM's where I was 'coming out' to my friend. My mom was under the impression that I was lying to get attention or something. I told her I wasn't lying, her response was "yeah right". I stand my ground and said, "No, Mom, I'm not. I seriously am interested in women too." And she just gave me this 'whatever look'. I then told her, "Proof? Remember *name? We were really good friends... really good friends. In fact she was my girlfriend, for months. We broke up, but are still friends."
My mom just left the conversation hanging and to this day I still get this 'yeah right' look and rolled eyes like I was lying for attention or something.
See we had gone to the family cabin and my cell phone wasn't working so she loaned me hers. I used it to go on fb, and check some things. Well I was stupid and forgot to log out. The next morning my mom comes up to me telling me, "Why are you lying to *name? You don't need to lie to make friends" then she went on a rant. And I'm standing there like, wait, what the hell happened what are you talking about.
Turns out she'd seen I was still logged on so she helped herself to my PM's where I was 'coming out' to my friend. My mom was under the impression that I was lying to get attention or something. I told her I wasn't lying, her response was "yeah right". I stand my ground and said, "No, Mom, I'm not. I seriously am interested in women too." And she just gave me this 'whatever look'. I then told her, "Proof? Remember *name? We were really good friends... really good friends. In fact she was my girlfriend, for months. We broke up, but are still friends."
My mom just left the conversation hanging and to this day I still get this 'yeah right' look and rolled eyes like I was lying for attention or something.
GREAT STORY KIYOSHI!
I am glad things worked out so well for you!
Also, just to let everyone know I am going to go on a date for the first time in...maybe a year! Although I am not going to have high expectations, I think that there is a lot of potential. He is the ideal guy, you know, the standards that you don't apply because they limit the amount of people you can pick from essentially. So he is 6'5", sings, plays piano extremely well, has a graduate degree, does charity work, and is kinda a manly man, lol...not to mention he is so attractive; he looks like Paul Walker! Okay, enough of my excessive optimism, I am just trying to be very positive. I made sure not to jump the gun and ask him out; I wanted to be sure that he wanted to, and he I just waited for him to ask.
Well, there you go. Kiyoshi's story was positive, so I tried to do the same. But his, of course is much more important, you only come out to your parent once!
I am glad things worked out so well for you!
Also, just to let everyone know I am going to go on a date for the first time in...maybe a year! Although I am not going to have high expectations, I think that there is a lot of potential. He is the ideal guy, you know, the standards that you don't apply because they limit the amount of people you can pick from essentially. So he is 6'5", sings, plays piano extremely well, has a graduate degree, does charity work, and is kinda a manly man, lol...not to mention he is so attractive; he looks like Paul Walker! Okay, enough of my excessive optimism, I am just trying to be very positive. I made sure not to jump the gun and ask him out; I wanted to be sure that he wanted to, and he I just waited for him to ask.
Well, there you go. Kiyoshi's story was positive, so I tried to do the same. But his, of course is much more important, you only come out to your parent once!
dream's-epilogue
Worthless
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Ahhh...what the hell. I haven't really joined because I don't know what all I can contribute, but hey, might as well, right?
So I'll jump in. Dreamsepilogue, Dreams for sort, I'm a guy, I'm 20, and I'm pan. ^^
So I'll jump in. Dreamsepilogue, Dreams for sort, I'm a guy, I'm 20, and I'm pan. ^^
oocyst
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Congrats Kiyoshi!
My coming out experience was pretty funny. I was acting a bit down that day and my parents kept asking me what was wrong, until they just asked me if I was gay. They go on and on about how they have lots of gay friends, until my dad says: "And me! I'm like half gay." Turns out my dad is bisexual :P
My coming out experience was pretty funny. I was acting a bit down that day and my parents kept asking me what was wrong, until they just asked me if I was gay. They go on and on about how they have lots of gay friends, until my dad says: "And me! I'm like half gay." Turns out my dad is bisexual :P
Ctrl.Alt.Geak
Swords Master
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Kiyoshi, your story was so charming, I'm so glad things worked out well for you :)
http://www.pokecommunity.com/member.php?u=272089
http://www.pokecommunity.com/member.php?u=272089
Ineffable~
DAT SNARKITUDE
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Welcome to you! ^^ It's always nice to have new people. (At least it is for me--you can ask anyone, I always say this. :D)
Anyway try and have fun here! I too sometimes get the feeling of not being able to contribute but if you get over that feeling you can always at least end up accidentally saying something right. xD
I uh don't know if we have any active pansexuals in this group, so it'll be great to have you so we can have more perspectives here because that's what it's all about. ^^
And of course, the traditional New Member Crown:
^^ Enjoy it!
Hahaha that's really interesting information! xD I would love that kind of reaction, it's just so cute and funny and perfect. Glad some people here have such great coming out experiences. Good news is good. <3
Shining Raichu
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I got a MacBook yesterday and I've pretty much spent the last two days working out how to use it, so I've been pretty inactive on PC lol. Turns out it was pretty crappy timing though, because so much has happened! D:
AAAAAAAA Kiyoshi! That is so amazing! Your father sounds frikkin' awesome XD. I'm so excited for you! And I'm so happy you thought to come back here and tell us, I haven't seen you in ages! It's moments like these that make me really love this club, it feels like we're growing and evolving together!
I question the wisdom of a woman who thinks we live in a world in which people tell others they are gay/bi/etc as a way to be liked. I've heard of denial, but that just takes it to a whole new level lol.
Welcome, Dreams! I'll add your name to the list now. We love fresh meat :3
Kiyoshi The Polar Bear said:
AAAAAAAA Kiyoshi! That is so amazing! Your father sounds frikkin' awesome XD. I'm so excited for you! And I'm so happy you thought to come back here and tell us, I haven't seen you in ages! It's moments like these that make me really love this club, it feels like we're growing and evolving together!
PhantomX0990 said:
I question the wisdom of a woman who thinks we live in a world in which people tell others they are gay/bi/etc as a way to be liked. I've heard of denial, but that just takes it to a whole new level lol.
dream's-epilogue said:
Welcome, Dreams! I'll add your name to the list now. We love fresh meat :3
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I was requested by Mr Christmas mod up there to post this, so here I am. Posting and stuff.
So yesterday I came out to my parents that I'm gay. I'd been planning this for a while now and yesterday was pretty much the last chance I'd get to be alone with my mum till after new years so it had to be done xD I got up extra early so I could catch a ride with my mum as she went to work. This was kinda breaking a rule I'd set about not doing it whilst driving just incase she took it badly but I was willing to make an exception xD
So about a minute had passed I started talking
Me: Mum, what would you do if one of your kids said they were gay?
Mum: Nothing. Their still my kids, it doesn't matter what their sexuality is I'd still love them just as much as if they were straight. *goes on talking about pop culture references to people wanting gay kids because its in style*
At this point I'm feeling all "stfu and let me come out >:("
Me: You do see where I was going with this right?
Mum: Yea, and David I don't care if your gay. I still love you either way. And to be honest I've known for a while now. Probably longer than you have.
Here I'm all like "B**** please. I've known since before I could remember."
Me: Do you think you could tell Grant*?
Mum: Sure, but it's not like he's going to take it badly. Remember Richard? He was gay and Grant didn't care at all. Richards mum cared because his only sister was a lesbian so she was never getting grandkids but that's another story.
Here we get out of the car and have an awkward conversation about who knows and who doesn't and how everyone will be cool with it and stuff. Then I go to the bank and she goes to work and I go home.
Then once I get home and I'm telling Shining Raichu about what happened I get this text from my stepdad:
"David I'm not bothered about you being gay. Me and mum spoke about this years ago. I'm just glad you realised it . So just get on as normal and you'll soon start thinking how silly you were for being worried about telling us. Have a good day see you later."
To be honest I still don't really know how to react to this xD I'm kinda wanna confront him about the realised it bit because it's not like I woke up yesterday and thought "Oh, I think I'm gay lol" and I'm also kinda curious about this "talk" that they had about me...
But yea, apart from awkward small talk with my parents to see if I want to talk about it everything seems normal :D
*Grant is my stepdad btw :3
So yesterday I came out to my parents that I'm gay. I'd been planning this for a while now and yesterday was pretty much the last chance I'd get to be alone with my mum till after new years so it had to be done xD I got up extra early so I could catch a ride with my mum as she went to work. This was kinda breaking a rule I'd set about not doing it whilst driving just incase she took it badly but I was willing to make an exception xD
So about a minute had passed I started talking
Me: Mum, what would you do if one of your kids said they were gay?
Mum: Nothing. Their still my kids, it doesn't matter what their sexuality is I'd still love them just as much as if they were straight. *goes on talking about pop culture references to people wanting gay kids because its in style*
At this point I'm feeling all "stfu and let me come out >:("
Me: You do see where I was going with this right?
Mum: Yea, and David I don't care if your gay. I still love you either way. And to be honest I've known for a while now. Probably longer than you have.
Here I'm all like "B**** please. I've known since before I could remember."
Me: Do you think you could tell Grant*?
Mum: Sure, but it's not like he's going to take it badly. Remember Richard? He was gay and Grant didn't care at all. Richards mum cared because his only sister was a lesbian so she was never getting grandkids but that's another story.
Here we get out of the car and have an awkward conversation about who knows and who doesn't and how everyone will be cool with it and stuff. Then I go to the bank and she goes to work and I go home.
Then once I get home and I'm telling Shining Raichu about what happened I get this text from my stepdad:
"David I'm not bothered about you being gay. Me and mum spoke about this years ago. I'm just glad you realised it . So just get on as normal and you'll soon start thinking how silly you were for being worried about telling us. Have a good day see you later."
To be honest I still don't really know how to react to this xD I'm kinda wanna confront him about the realised it bit because it's not like I woke up yesterday and thought "Oh, I think I'm gay lol" and I'm also kinda curious about this "talk" that they had about me...
But yea, apart from awkward small talk with my parents to see if I want to talk about it everything seems normal :D
*Grant is my stepdad btw :3
Shining Raichu
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I know I said this on MSN, but I maintain to this very moment that that is the sweetest goddamn text message I have ever read in your life. You have the most awesome stepdad ever. When I read the "Have a good day see you later" bit, I almost teared up. It's just the most amazing reaction a person could ever have. Your Mum is amazing too but that text message really got me :P
Don't you dare delete it ever!
This whole story is just amazing, I'm so happy I was there as it went down lol. It doesn't matter if he thinks you only just realised it lmao, though I think you should ask about the talk they had about you because otherwiseI'll you'll die of curiosity!
Don't you dare delete it ever!
This whole story is just amazing, I'm so happy I was there as it went down lol. It doesn't matter if he thinks you only just realised it lmao, though I think you should ask about the talk they had about you because otherwise
-Jared-
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<3
D'awwwwwwwwwwwwww. :3 That has got to be as cute as Kiyoshi's story. :3
Gee everyone seems to be talking about coming out lately. :3 Should it be an official topic? xD