That's so gay.

I'm not sure how I feel about it. I mean, I'm not personally offended by it (though I'm bi not gay, I can't imagine I'd be offended by "that's so bi" either). That's probably because I don't feel that my sexuality is so closely tied to my identity. In fact, it has no connection to my identity or who I am as a person whatsoever, so why should I be personally offended?

But I like to choose my words carefully, and I don't want to offend anybody, so I never use it.

OMG @ this even being a discussion topic in 2014.

No, I don't use the word gay in that sense because it has HOMOPHOBIC origins in the association of 'gay' with negativity. You can try to argue that 'words change over time', but this word has been adopted by a group of people and they use it to identify.

Don't undermine a minority's identity.

When I say "That's so gay" I don't mean that it's stupid, but homosexual.

Aerial Ace said:

I don't like it when people use it that way. You are issuing it in a negative connotation and therefore are subconsciously promoting negative associations to the word that many people struggle to accept in themselves for years. If you think something is lame, refer to it as lame. Unfortunately this use of the work has been engraved in the youth and will continue to thrive. On a personal level, calling something gay is a sure fire way for me to lose some respect for someone.

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basically.

i don't use it. precisely as Erik Destler stated, the word has origins as a slur, and though word usage (and language, in general) may evolve and vary, that does not remove the historical and social context/s the word is rooted in. and using a noun as an adjective or verb is particularly problematic is the noun is that of a minority group and if the said adjective or verb has a negative connotation by nature.

although people are justifying their use of the word by saying that members of the said group (e.g. gays, or Blacks in the case of the "n" word) are using it to refer to members of the same group. the reason why it's "okay" for them to use it to refer to one another is that, being members of the minority group the word targets, they have this shared awareness and experience of the weight and context of the word. as a member of the "out-group," you have none of that, thus, unless they're your friends, or they see you as a trustworthy, close companion, your usage of the term will come off as offensive and/or ignorant.

PervertedPikachu said:

I think you're incredibly obnoxious in trying to push your LGBT agenda. In my eyes groups can't "claim" words, and when they do all it does is deepen divisions within society.

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While that may be true for your distorted perception of reality, that doesn't change the fact that saying "that's so gay" is undermining a minority's identity.

I don't think you quite understand what a minority is, nor how it works in society.

PervertedPikachu said:

I think you're incredibly obnoxious in trying to push your LGBT agenda. In my eyes groups can't "claim" words, and when they do all it does is deepen divisions within society.

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Gathering your posts on this forum you are a) White b) A man c) Straight so you have absoutely no idea what it's like to be a minority nor should you be telling minorities that they shouldn't claim words when you have not experienced the power of them being used against you, as well as the power it helps when you reclaim it.

If any of your friends are minorities I'd honestly go talk to them on the subject. I bet some of the closest people to you will think differently.

"That's So Gay" Commercial on YouTube

I remember this video a while back with Wanda Sykes in it, and I'm gonna sling this on over to this discussion.

The term "gay" may have meant "happy" quite a while back, but when people use that as an excuse for saying it to describe something negative nowadays, it's extremely ignorant. Especially in youth. You obviously know you didn't mean it that way, and you really have no way to hide behind such an old meaning for the word. The LGBT community uses it to define themselves. I've used it, I've heard lesbians use it, and I've even heard bisexuals call themselves half-gay. Saying it so nonchalantly is awful.

I suggest those of you who use it to describe something negative grab a thesaurus and take a seat, because you need to expand your vocabulary.

Azonic said:

I use it a lot, even in the presence of gay friends. It's just a word and people need to chill out about it. I hate people who are just like omg u sed gay u must b homofobe like no, chill out and stop being so rigid.

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And then you'll use it in front of that one person who takes so much offence over your use of the word that he or she will use your face as punching bag.

People need to realize that freedom of speech isn't just a right, it's also a responsibility. How we are regarded by others in this world is directly affected by how we speak. Whether this is right or wrong is irrelevant. If you are a person who uses crass language and who swears often (including dropping multiple f-bombs in a single sentence like I hear so many do these day) you will not make a friend of me.

The English language is so extensive that we have a huge vocabulary of words to choose from to get our points across to others. And yet, what do I find day in and day out? That people are either incapable of or unwilling to use that vocabulary in favour of being rude and ignorant.

You personally may not see anything wrong with using certain words in your everyday life, but your choice of words can affect more than just personal relationships, it can also have very negative consequences in your professional life as well.

And yes, I am one who would take great offense to your use of the word "gay" and believe me, I would not hesitate for one second to give you a verbal lashing that will put you firmly in your place.

Moogles said:

Gathering your posts on this forum you are a) White b) A man c) Straight so you have absoutely no idea what it's like to be a minority nor should you be telling minorities that they shouldn't claim words when you have not experienced the power of them being used against you, as well as the power it helps when you reclaim it.

If any of your friends are minorities I'd honestly go talk to them on the subject. I bet some of the closest people to you will think differently.

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Wow. That is just so unbelievably racist and bigoted I just can't... wow. Just wow.

Amachi said:

Wow. That is just so unbelievably racist and bigoted I just can't... wow. Just wow.

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Grow up and understand the world as it is.

I am a white man. I do not attempt to talk about the difficulties of black people considering.... I am not black... nor do I tell black people whether they should or shouldn't say the N word... this isn't a hard concept. Apply it in turn to gay people.

Moogles said:

Grow up and understand the world as it is.

I am a white man. I do not attempt to talk about the difficulties of black people considering.... I am not black... nor do I tell black people whether they should or shouldn't say the N word... this isn't a hard concept. Apply it in turn to gay people.

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How white are you? Do you check your privilege daily, because I think you're long overdue. And just because you say "the n word" doesn't make it less offensive - we all know what word you mean.

Amachi said:

How white are you?

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French-Canadian born to two white parents, one of whom is Anglophone and the other is Francophone. Because of this I'm in an interesting little societal divide when it comes to Canada's language issues. Thanks for asking.

Do you check your privilege daily, because I think you're long overdue.

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lmao

And just because you say "the n word" doesn't make it less offensive - we all know what word you mean.

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Ummm... yeah, it does make it less offensive because I'm being respectful by not using the word in its entirety because I have an understanding its not my place to do so. I don't get what your other point is because of course everybody knows what slurs are in our society ?____? it's a matter of not using them if they've never affected your race/identity personally.

Amachi said:

nah man, you don't get it (which is understandable, considering your oppressive blood). You can't even refer to the word, let alone think about it, otherwise you're perpetuating racist/bigoted/heteronormative/sexist/etc. views.

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However, you say we can't refer to a racial slur while being respectful and using it for pure discussion? You sound like a hypocrite.

What about retarded? My school has this big campaign every year to stop everyone from saying it (it doesn't entirely work, sadly), but whenever someone uses it it ticks me off.

I am going to avoid the cancerous posts above and instead simply jump to the point, because reading you two argue is like reading two kids arguing over who gets the gamecube controller. Both of you, stay classy.

Anyways.

I don't really agree with it, I have used it but I have an awful mouth. Sometimes context does change it's offensiveness (for example, I have gay friends and I tease them with it, they tease me back), but more often than not it's a pretty stupid derogatory comment that I try to avoid since it is uncreative, based on a slur and is honestly pretty offensive.

Jakeremix said:

What about retarded? My school has this big campaign every year to stop everyone from saying it (it doesn't entirely work, sadly), but whenever someone uses it it ticks me off.

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Honestly, retarded I don't believe is a slur. I know, pretty controversial of me to say it, but the reality is, do most people use "retarded" to refer to someone who has a disability? Or do people use it for people who are just plain stupid? I would argue the latter. Retarded is mocking someone's intelligence, which is something that you can do to anyone, not just someone with a disability. What makes it different from just "gay" is that gay almost ubiquitously refers to homosexuals.

Claiming that retarded is a slur also implies that people who have mental impairments by default are "retarded" which is honestly more offensive than, say, someone calling a website or a pokemon design retarded.

The word retarded works almost completely opposite to "gay" does - gay is considered a slur if it's used outside of strictly talking about homosexuals, but retarded is considered a slur only in reference to talking to people with mental handicaps.

Erik Destler said:

OMG @ this even being a discussion topic in 2014.

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Your indignation is unfounded. It was not until very recently that any cultures were even able to have this sort of discussion

Slavery was abolished 200 years ago, but racial equality is still an unrealized dream in many ways. Women's liberation movements began some years later, and we have yet to see true equality manifest. The earliest you could probably trace back gay rights movements with any meaningful amount of momentum is the 60's. Is it really so surprising that such topics as this are in the cultural spotlight?

If homosexuality was considered natural and acceptable by the majority of people, this would likely be a non-issue. As things currently stand, having this discussion is way to raise awareness of the inequalities and indignities that still exist, and as I said before, this type of political correctness is empowerment for marginalized sociocultural groups.

Alessi_sys said:

And then you'll use it in front of that one person who takes so much offence over your use of the word that he or she will use your face as punching bag.

People need to realize that freedom of speech isn't just a right, it's also a responsibility. How we are regarded by others in this world is directly affected by how we speak. Whether this is right or wrong is irrelevant. If you are a person who uses crass language and who swears often (including dropping multiple f-bombs in a single sentence like I hear so many do these day) you will not make a friend of me.

The English language is so extensive that we have a huge vocabulary of words to choose from to get our points across to others. And yet, what do I find day in and day out? That people are either incapable of or unwilling to use that vocabulary in favour of being rude and ignorant.

You personally may not see anything wrong with using certain words in your everyday life, but your choice of words can affect more than just personal relationships, it can also have very negative consequences in your professional life as well.

And yes, I am one who would take great offense to your use of the word "gay" and believe me, I would not hesitate for one second to give you a verbal lashing that will put you firmly in your place.

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lol k. If you take this word that seriously then that's your problem. And no, freedom of speech is not a responsibility. I'm not responsible for how other's react to what I say, including you. If you think me casually saying the word "gay" is an attack on the homosexual community then you're laughably wrong. If you judge me based on how many times I drop the f-bomb then that's your problem, not mine. I'm more than aware of what comes out of my mouth, and I am more than capable of adjusting my behavior when it comes to professional circumstances thxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx. You said you wouldn't make a friend of me for my language, but I wouldn't make a friend of you either if you were actually rigid and anal enough to verbally lash at me for my use of casual language. gayyyyyyy

Azonic said:

lol k. If you take this word that seriously then that's your problem. And no, freedom of speech is not a responsibility. I'm not responsible for how other's react to what I say, including you. If you think me casually saying the word "gay" is an attack on the homosexual community then you're laughably wrong. If you judge me based on how many times I drop the f-bomb then that's your problem, not mine. I'm more than aware of what comes out of my mouth, and I am more than capable of adjusting my behavior when it comes to professional circumstances thxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx. You said you wouldn't make a friend of me for my language, but I wouldn't make a friend of you either if you were actually rigid and anal enough to verbally lash at me for my use of casual language. gayyyyyyy

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While freedom of speech does allow you to say whatever you want, it doesn't make you immune to their response. They have every right to be offended, no matter how trivial you think it is. So if you care about not pissing people off, then yes, you do actually have to respect what other people say. Of course, there's a point where you have to say, "are you ♥♥♥♥ing serious" because you can't cater to everyone's speshul needs. That's when it turns back to you.

I don't use it myself, at least not often enough that I'm aware of it. I know some people take offense to it and I don't like upsetting people over things that are trivial to me (if it was something important to me, that would be different).

That said, I don't see any problem with others using it that way. It's pretty obvious that they're not using it as a slur against homosexuals any more than using it to mean "happy" is using it to praise homosexuals. It's a word, words can have multiple meanings. It doesn't mean people are trying to associate the multiple meanings with each other. There are definitely people who are prejudiced against homosexuals, but I don't think there's any ill-intent in this case.

I have to admit I use it sometimes, even though I'm gay. I didn't use to pay much attention to it, but lately I find that I do get offended if other people use it carelessly. Not because I get terribly offended and want to punch the other person in the face, but because whenever someone says "that's so gay" I always think (as has been mentioned before) "what if the person next to you is gay?" (which in some cases is true, because I'm sitting next to them).

I'm trying to lessen my use of "That's so gay" because I don't like it when other people use it. Maybe that makes me bigoted, by essentialy claiming that my use of the word doesn't offend, because I'm gay and I don't get offended, but that's not what I mean. I don't like it when other people say it, because you can never truly know what they mean. Do they mean whatever they're talking about is stupid? or do they mean it's gay as in homosexual. I don't really care if they call it stupid/lame/etc., but if they use it to 'have a laugh' with homosexuals, that's an entirely different story.

For me the problem lies not in the usage of "that's so gay", but in trying to decipher the meaning. The word 'gay' nowadays does get used to describe several things: happy (though almost no one uses it like that anymore), homosexual, stupid/lame/etc. When I use it to describe me for example, I like to believe I use it in a neutral way. If I use it in a negative way, it has nothing to do with homosexuals, but with something being stupid/lame/etc. The big problem here is there's no clear divide between the two as some people place being homosexual on the same level as stupid/lame which does make it offensive. As I can't go around and ask everyone who uses "that's so gay'": "Well what do you mean with that? Do you just mean stupid or do you think being homosexual is disgusting?", it gets quite difficult. I understand that it has a widespread usage, but I'd rather not try to decipher if my friend just tried to (inadvertly) insult me or just thought something was stupid. So I'm actively trying to lessen my usage, but I do think people need to see it for themselves and want to break the habit of saying it, because just telling them not to use it is easier said than done.