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Konfuzzled x_x

Poki

Banned
2,423
Posts
10
Years
Do you have ''best friends'' who chat with you all the time and then slowly drift away without any reason at all? Even when you try contacting them?

I don't understand it at all. Do you?

Has this ever happened to you?


For all who do not understand the title: ''Confused x_x''
 

Beyond Infinity

Couldn't Outfox a Donkey
264
Posts
10
Years
I have friends from home I drift away from because we're not living near each other anymore.

Then I have friends here who drift away because they start dating, devote themselves to their significant other and ignore all their friends.

Then my flatmate just decided to not be friendly at all this academic year, not matter how hard I try.
 

Towerizer

Alcoholic Renegade
107
Posts
10
Years
yes i do, my (about to be ex) best friend has just become more distant over time and i don't know what the deal is but quite frankly i dont like it, it's really been bumming me out =(
 

starseed galaxy auticorn

[font=Finger Paint][COLOR=#DCA6F3][i]PC's Resident
6,647
Posts
19
Years
I had one person do that to me. It pissed me off because he was like an older brother to me. Well, all of a sudden he stops talking to me and completely ignores me like... seriously? Apparently, I got to attached to him. What pisses me off was that he couldn't just come to me and work this out. He went and ignored me still... even now. I've told him plenty of times about how I feel and... yeah.

It made me so mad because well... a normal person would confront you instead of making you feel like complete and utter ****, right?
 

TY

Guest
0
Posts
I have this too, and also i might have done this to other people aswell, so apologies if any of you are one of the victims.

My ex tried to become friends again by starting to talk to me and soon i got ignored like usual. I was kinda upset at first but i just forgot about her.
 

Poki

Banned
2,423
Posts
10
Years
All I can say this that it sucks, and that it's one of the sh*t I simply cannot explain. :P

And those people tend to be the biggest hypocrites.
 
284
Posts
10
Years
  • Age 25
  • Seen Sep 14, 2017
I've drifted away from two of the people I was closest with, there are reasons why though.

The first friend, it just felt like she stopped caring about me and only wanted me around when she was hurt, to make her feel better or something. Plus, it was kinda obvious this other girl (a girl I really didn't like) was more important to her than I was. Like, gee, thanks. ">.>

The other friend, just kept pestering me about something when I'd told her to drop it a million times, she wouldn't give it up. It was to the point where if I ever tried to talk to her about anything she would find a way to bring it up.

Blah. Friendship is hard.
 

Poki

Banned
2,423
Posts
10
Years
I've drifted away from two of the people I was closest with, there are reasons why though.

The first friend, it just felt like she stopped caring about me and only wanted me around when she was hurt, to make her feel better or something. Plus, it was kinda obvious this other girl (a girl I really didn't like) was more important to her than I was. Like, gee, thanks. ">.>

The other friend, just kept pestering me about something when I'd told her to drop it a million times, she wouldn't give it up. It was to the point where if I ever tried to talk to her about anything she would find a way to bring it up.

Blah. Friendship is hard.

At least you have a legit reason. I'd do that too, if I were you, to be honest. :P
 

Hannah

beep bop boop
1,150
Posts
11
Years
  • Age 23
  • Seen Nov 16, 2021
Yeah, I've had a lot of friends who've forgotten about me. I do my best to maintain a close friendship and open communication with them, though, but I think the reason why it happens so often is because there's a lot of misunderstandings between our group of friends.

There's this one girl who was a bit of a loner in the beginning of the school year. We'd always approach her and let her sit with us in the canteen, let her come with us on random adventures so she wouldn't feel left out. She was pretty happy about it, but after some time, she started to talk to the other girls in class. At first, we were okay about that, because that means she's opening up and socializing more. It's not like we're the only friends she could have, right? So this went on for, like, three months, and after that, she completely stopped hanging out with us. Then a month passed, and she started following us again. We were honestly very irritated about that. We'd always think, "Why is she hanging out with us again? Doesn't she like her new friends?"

As a tradition, us friends would have an open forum at least twice every month, so that our friendship would be stronger and we could let go of any negative thoughts. We did that once and included the girl, so we could finally confront her about it. She told us that she didn't hang out with us anymore was because she felt like we were just being fake towards her, like we were being forced to hang out with her because she was a loner. After that, we started to loosen up a little around her. It sort of proved that communication solves everything -- or at least problems involving friends.
 
7,741
Posts
17
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  • Seen Sep 18, 2020
This seems to be normal. Establishing a particular and mutual openness on all matters while you're close helps.
 
Last edited:

Dreg

Done after the GT.
1,496
Posts
12
Years
  • Seen Jul 11, 2016
This happens all the time to me. I don't get it sometimes; you try and keep in regular contact with them, then you get nothing afterwards. It's a horrible feeling.
 

Poki

Banned
2,423
Posts
10
Years
Yeah, I've had a lot of friends who've forgotten about me. I do my best to maintain a close friendship and open communication with them, though, but I think the reason why it happens so often is because there's a lot of misunderstandings between our group of friends.

There's this one girl who was a bit of a loner in the beginning of the school year. We'd always approach her and let her sit with us in the canteen, let her come with us on random adventures so she wouldn't feel left out. She was pretty happy about it, but after some time, she started to talk to the other girls in class. At first, we were okay about that, because that means she's opening up and socializing more. It's not like we're the only friends she could have, right? So this went on for, like, three months, and after that, she completely stopped hanging out with us. Then a month passed, and she started following us again. We were honestly very irritated about that. We'd always think, "Why is she hanging out with us again? Doesn't she like her new friends?"

As a tradition, us friends would have an open forum at least twice every month, so that our friendship would be stronger and we could let go of any negative thoughts. We did that once and included the girl, so we could finally confront her about it. She told us that she didn't hang out with us anymore was because she felt like we were just being fake towards her, like we were being forced to hang out with her because she was a loner. After that, we started to loosen up a little around her. It sort of proved that communication solves everything -- or at least problems involving friends.
Glad it got sorted out, sometimes a simple misunderstanding can lead to such thoughts. :)
This seems to be normal. Establishing a particular and mutual openness on all matters while you're close helps.
Well, yes. But most of my friends live faar faaaaar away. ;-;
This happens all the time to me. I don't get it sometimes; you try and keep in regular contact with them, then you get nothing afterwards. It's a horrible feeling.
Same - I don't get it at all. -_-
 

LoudSilence

more like uncommon sense
590
Posts
10
Years
  • Age 35
  • US
  • Seen Aug 7, 2016
I knew this one guy for years, we became pretty close friends. All of a sudden he just drops all contact.

You know, I get it, friendship is a two-way street and I can respect losing interest for whatever reason, but at least say so, you know?

Ignoring someone is way colder than coming to a mutual understanding as to why your friendship just won't pan out. Dunno how people can have the heart to do that for the sake of avoiding feeling "awkward". Have some consideration, dude...
 

Poki

Banned
2,423
Posts
10
Years
I knew this one guy for years, we became pretty close friends. All of a sudden he just drops all contact.

You know, I get it, friendship is a two-way street and I can respect losing interest for whatever reason, but at least say so, you know?

Ignoring someone is way colder than coming to a mutual understanding as to why your friendship just won't pan out. Dunno how people can have the heart to do that for the sake of avoiding feeling "awkward". Have some consideration, dude...

Exactly! If you don't wanna be friends with someone - tell 'em instead of ignoring 'em. Simple. As. That.

Sure, I'd be a little upset if my friendship with a person ends, but it's a hell lot better than being ignored and having no idea whether the person wants to be your friend or not.
 
3,869
Posts
10
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  • Seen Feb 5, 2023
No not really, if anything I feel like I've drifted away from some of my friends because I'm not as social as I used to be. This is for a number of reasons. I try to hangout with my friends sometimes, but most of my time is consumed with work or school.
 

Meganium

[i]memento mori[/i]
17,226
Posts
13
Years
This thread was calling me, because unfortunately I can empathize.

To make it short. I've been forgotten several times by many friends, including one that's my best friend. It's really saddening and it breaks my heart because I actually care about my friends and I never wanted to lose them. Usually the pain goes away for a few months, or until I find new peeps to talk to.
 
36
Posts
10
Years
  • Age 36
  • Seen Jul 23, 2015
There's always a reason. Maybe they're avoiding you to give you the reason. Cuz "I don't want to hurt your feelings"...or something.

Maybe they should -- as a comedian once said -- "Be a man, do the right thing."

Wait a few more hours/days/whateverworksforyou and try contacting them again?
 

Bounsweet

Fruit Pokémon
2,103
Posts
16
Years
  • Seen Sep 17, 2018
Goood yes. I have one best friend who I've known for ten years and it's actually become a joke between us how we stop talking just entirely unprecedented for several months then one day, one of us texts the other and it's literally like those several months were just a couple days. Our relationship is so weird lol.

I don't know why or how it happens tbh. I know she's very sensitive and I'm very ditzy about actively texting people so I'll be busy for a week and she'll think I don't want to talk so she's scared to text me. It's weird.
 

s0nido

turn up the engine
1,590
Posts
15
Years
I'm going to come out and say it, but I've been the person who's drifted away from people before a number of times. Call me a douche, but I have my reasons. The one time I actively tried to distance myself from a friend was because I never felt comfortable being in the friendship with him. I always found myself bored and irritated while with him, and he did a LOT of things that pissed me off, confused me or weirded me out. We were friends for a long time - 7 years - but since finishing high school last year, I haven't seen him since. He has tried to contact me on Facebook every now and then and I do try my best to maintain conversation with him, but honestly, I think it's for the better that him and I find new friends. Maybe we'll be close friends again, but I highly doubt it. It's probably for the better anyway - a friendship where either friend is uncomfortable is never a healthy one.

What I've got to contribute to your situation is this: if someone isn't willing to talk to you or keep up a friendship, they probably want the distance. If you've tried to bridge the gap and they're making it difficult, give them that distance and try to find new friends or keep up relationships with old ones. You've done your bit in trying to rekindle the friendship, but if they don't want things to continue, don't force it.
 

Kikaito plush

Angeline plushxKikaito plush
5,557
Posts
14
Years
Pretty much my best friend from High school years. we spoke for a few years until one day last year we stopped speaking without a word from him explaining why he did not want to speak to me.
 
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