Make a wish and have it horribly corrupted

Granted, but you're stuck in the real world.

I wish I had some caffeine.

Granted, but now your hopelessly addicted.

I wish for cheat codes for the real world.

That would be helpful if you didnt already fail so much that you had a cheat barrier on life cause your life is at -1.

Anyway uh i wish for the girl i love to have not done all this to me and to have just gone out with me in the first place and not make me go through this torturous hell i feel.

Granted, but you just passed up a chance to date your soul-mate after enduring several moments hell.

I wish for a cold day in hell.

Granted. Because it would be a cold day in hell when they stopped making Pokemon...

I wish for a bicycle for two.

Granted, but they don't have any wheels.

I wish for Up, Left, B, B, R, R, Select, Up, Down.

Granted, but the cheat doesn't work.

I wish for a t shirt

((Oh, and there is a Hell, Michigan so there can be a cold day in Hell, heck, Hell can even freeze over))

Granted, but its too small for you to wear it

I wish that I can teleport my self as nightcrawler from X-men

Granted, but you can only teleport to the same place you left.

I wish for an 8 turned 90 degrees.

Granted, but now its just a small racetrack, not infinity.

I wish to get a job at GameStop.

granted, but it's only a custodial job and there is no chance of promotions available.

I wish for a key lime cheesecake that creates a perfect world, for me and those I choose, to live in after I eat it.

Granted. It tastes horrible and for order for its effect to work, you need to eat all of it. Btw, it's also the current world record holder for largest l i e cake.

I wish for tomorrow not to come.

granted but you will never get birthday, christmas, valentines, thanksgiving, or easter presents

i wish i lived in a castle

Granted, but it was invaded by old men. =O

I wish for a gluestick.

Granted. However, around the same time you take the cap off the glue stick, your parents come into the room and become super paranoid for some reason and think you're sniffing glue. Months of unneeded therapy and rehab ensue.

I wish for a figgy pudding.

Granted but you throw up right after you eat it.


I wish I was still in Disney.

Granted. But it fell apart.

I wish I was a rubber duck.

Granted, but you get eaten by rabid sharks.

I wish I was Konata.
(If you don't know who she is, look it up.)

(I know who she is, she's awesome!)
Granted, but are always stalked by fanboys, fangirls, and lolicons.

I wish I knew Japanese.

Granted, but the offical language becomes Todoroki so it doesn't matter >.<

I wish I could tell who is who in this lovely April Fools Day prank.