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  #26    
Old November 24th, 2013, 01:19 PM
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LoudSilence
more like uncommon sense
 
Join Date: Nov 2013
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pumpkaboo View Post
I think it happens to everyone, especially when it comes to online relationships. Scientific studies say that on average most friendships only last 7 years before people start moving away from each other or begin to develop less contact.
I don't know, I don't like to relegate my relationships to statistics. Just because it happens a lot doesn't mean it needs to happen to me

When I make a friend, I usually intend it to last for the foreseeable future unless something serious enough happens to get in the way of that. Accepting it as a reality is like preparing yourself to let it go at some point and I'd never do that :/
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  #27    
Old November 24th, 2013, 02:44 PM
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Location: Europe
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cassino View Post
I find that's only a barrier if one thinks it is.
I misinterpreted ''while you're close''. My bad.
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  #28    
Old November 25th, 2013, 10:35 AM
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Fortunately, i dont have a friend like that . All of us contacts each other once in while.

And hopefully, none of us will do such thing.
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  #29    
Old November 25th, 2013, 10:50 PM
Dakota
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It's happened, and is probably happening right now, really. The problem with social media is the disconnect it creates while connecting us with people. We get so used to being able to contact one another over a screen, real life interaction becomes scarce. It's when people get lazy, or are too busy, that the real falling out happens. My best friend and I rarely talk nowadays, cause we're both like mad, and it sucks. We still try every now and then to talk, and we do, but it's not the same as it once was.
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  #30    
Old November 26th, 2013, 03:37 AM
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LoudSilence
more like uncommon sense
 
Join Date: Nov 2013
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Vertigo View Post
It's happened, and is probably happening right now, really. The problem with social media is the disconnect it creates while connecting us with people. We get so used to being able to contact one another over a screen, real life interaction becomes scarce. It's when people get lazy, or are too busy, that the real falling out happens. My best friend and I rarely talk nowadays, cause we're both like mad, and it sucks. We still try every now and then to talk, and we do, but it's not the same as it once was.
Right on about social media man, it's creating a generation of socially inept people who are more comfortable with a display of text rather than a face. The disparity is getting larger every day, especially with social networks like Facebook opening up to children of any age (once upon a time you needed a university email to register!). Why do 9 year olds have iPhones and Instagram accounts?

When I have kids, they are NOT signing up for any of that crap until they're way older and have developed some manner of social skills :/
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  #31    
Old November 26th, 2013, 05:32 PM
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Well, people drift apart. It's sad, but whether it was a misunderstanding, or just a change of interests, it's something that happens.

If you don't want it to, then either pull them back to you, or strive to reach them. But remember that even friendships sail, and you can't stop them from leaving if they really want to.
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  #32    
Old November 27th, 2013, 11:39 AM
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One of the best things about the internet is that you can keep up friendships that otherwise would have died because of the distance. On the same coin, one of the worst things about the internet is that you feel obliged to keep as many friendships going as possible because distance is no longer an issue. Relationships that weren't all that close to begin with can't die off with dignity anymore because there's "no reason to" since it's so easy to keep in touch.

I've been the one drifted away from and I've purposefully drifted away from others before. Yeah, it sucks, but sometimes you just lose your spark with someone. Sometimes they haven't even done anything wrong but you just lose interest in your relationship and despite attempts to jump start it, there's just nothing you can do but let yourself drift off. Maybe one day you'll find each other again and the spark will relight on its own but relationships (and I mean platonic or otherwise) just aren't something that can be forced and you've gotta know when to call it quits. :(

Besides, every so often you get one of those friends where you can ignore/not talk to each other for weeks or months at a time and when you do manage to see each other or talk to each other, it's like no time has passed. I never mind if I drift a bit from people like that because I know eventually things will be right back to normal.
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  #33    
Old November 27th, 2013, 01:01 PM
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Limerent
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Join Date: May 2013
Location: Sydney, Australia
Age: 18
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I am not going to lie, I drift away from friends all the time. I believe it is truly natural, nothing lasts forever. Realistically there is a bell curve of how long all the friendships I have made have lasted. A few will last a few days, most a few months and some for years. It is very doubtful that even 1 out of the thousands of people I have known will be my friend for decades or even a lifetime.

Examples of those that only last a few days are: (friends made on camps, some people met during video games etc.) These friendships can be very enjoyable at the time, however they were simply made of circumstance, although we might have some common ground once that circumstance has terminated we are no longer truly friends. I do not keep in contact with many short term relationships.

Medium term friendships for me last for a few months up to a year. It's likely we do have a considerable amount in common and just gel well together, I'll talk to you a fair amount and we will have some intimacy. It is a healthy relationship. Things happen however, little quirks of your behaviour may start to get on my nerves, I may meet new people and we will quickly stop talking altogether. This happens altogether. I have a friend who I met playing video games, same age, sense of humour, easy to talk to, great guy, slowly though our relationship is starting to fray because I find he firetrucks around too much and he presumably finds me like a nagging mother at this.

I have a few longer lasting relationships. What characterises them most is there not being dependence on regular communication, I could go off the grid for a year and we'd most likely still be friends. They've survived hardship too, I often have spats with my American long term friends over their language and politics but at the end of the day we're still friends. Not because we're the same in behaviour and opinions, we're very different and I can hate them for that sometimes, but because one understands the other on a personal level

To reiterate though nothing lasts forever, and eventually even for the closest friends I will most likely drift away without saying anything, which you all seem to hate so much. Well tough. I prefer this method to staying "friends" until hatred and backstabbing erupts to the surface. Leaving without saying much may seem cruel, but it's for the best. I cherish the memories of our friendship and the time we had together, no matter how brief it may have been. Live in the moment with friends and remember those moments for your best characterisations of those people

Oh and if we're truly made for each other you could be a long term of lifetime friend of mine no matter how we met.
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