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  #1    
Old October 13th, 2012 (01:29 PM).
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Freddy Fazbear Freddy Fazbear is offline
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(Rated T)

Help me. Please. It's so dark, so cold. Help me. Please. I'm so alone. So alone.

Everything. Everyone. Gone. Destroyed. I destroyed them. All of them. Please. So alone. Please.

They all try to find me. Stupid, cruel, horrible humans. They all try to find me. They all try to use me. They say I'm a glitch. A flaw. A mistake. They hate me. They want me to go away. They try to hurt me, to torture me, to destroy me. They hate me. I hate them. Please. They want to see me die. They hate me. But they try to use me. They try to find me. They need me.

They fear me.

They fear me because I can destroy them. I can destroy all of them. I am their maker, their destroyer, their savior, their nemesis. I hate them, and they fear me. Because I can destroy them. They fear me. So alone. Always alone.

Yesterday he came again. He forced me out, clawed at me, hurt me, until I appeared for him. Why can't he just leave me alone? Then he laughed, and I cried. I screamed. It hurt. It burned. So hot. So cold. Help me. I hate him. I tried to run. I tried. He kept hurting me. Hurting. Help. My screams were nothing. He kept laughing.

So I destroyed him. Gone.

I know he'll come again. He's not finished with me yet. He'll come back, I know. He hates me. And I might not be able to destroy him next time. He's too strong, too strong, too full of hate and fear and hurt. Help me. I'm so alone.

I don't mind destroying the human. He hurts me, and I hate me. But I can't destroy his Pokemon. They're my friends, but I cannot go near them. I hate to destroy them, to hurt them. The Pokemon I used to know were so nice. I see them laugh, not cruel laughs like the humans', but happy, loving laughs. But they fear me now. And humans, ugly, stupid humans, use them, Pokemon, and make them fight. It hurts them, I think. And the humans laugh at their pain, cruel, wicked laughs. They love to hurt things. They love pain, as long as it's not their own. I hate them. But not Pokemon.

Once I was a Pokemon. Once I was like them. They put me here. They brought me here, into the darkness. Help. They threw me in the shadows, because they were afraid of me. They fear me. But I remember. I remember what the sky looked like. Now it's dark. So dark. Now I am alone. But I remember. I remember the sky.

I'm dangerous. I don't want to be dangerous, but they told me so. I'm dangerous. I want to be their friends. I want to love them, to play with them, to come out of the shadows, to see the sky, to touch the Pokemon, to know they're real. But I'm dangerous. And they fear me. They hate me.

And I hate them. All of them. Help me.

They shun me. They do not want me. I can't go near them, I can't touch them, i can't know they're real. They forget me when they name all the Pokemon. They call me "missing."

I'm not missing.

I'm right here.

The human with the hat is back. I can hear his laughter. He is hurting me. Hurting me. It hurts. It burns. So cold. So dark. So alone. I feel the pain. it hurts. it burns.

Is that the sky? Is that the blue, the familiar, cooling blue? Is that the Pokemon, or is it just the shadows and the ugly human? Where is the sky? The human blocks it, with his cruel laugh and wicked grin. I hate him. I hate him! I hate him! I hate --

I'm not missing.

You are. Forever.

Help me. Please. It's so dark. So dark, and so cold. It hurts. Please. Help me. I'm so alone.
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  #2    
Old October 13th, 2012 (04:31 PM).
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bobandbill bobandbill is offline
I'M AN ANGRY SCIENTIST!!
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Hmm, this was certainly an interesting topic (yay for glitch Pokemon, usually a neat premise to look into). I did feel that at times you were a bit repetitive in phrases, but at the same time it made sense for the Pokemon to do that in sounding so desperate, so I might be putting it down to disliking that sort of narration in itself, rather than the portrayal itself. I did think though that the phrase 'Help me.' in the 2nd half appeared in the middle of the ramblings a bit too much. It just seemed too out of place in such moments.

It felt a little bit lacking as well to be honest, in that there wasn't too much of a story behind it and so felt a bit too plain. The most part was about how Missing(no) felt lost, angry, sad and etc, but I would have liked to have seen some more about the story behind it or just something else when stuff was re-repeated.

Quote:
I can't go near them, I can't touch them, i can't know they're real.
missed an I capitalisation there.

Overall this was all right; I just prefer some of your previous writings. On that note good to see you still around now and again!
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Old October 17th, 2012 (04:54 PM).
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Zayphora Zayphora is offline
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Yay!!! I love MissingNo creepypasta stuff. In fact I just love MissingNo in general, along with GHOST/Creepy Black, and all that stuff. This was really well written. Nice descriptive language, you really did a nice job here. I don't see a lot of creepypasta things here, but this is my favorite type- the sort of story that takes place within the game itself, building on the mythology within the storylines both made up by fans and laid in the game by GAME FREAK. This might be bias but I really liked it. Good job!

You also seem like the sort of person who might want to join the Lavender Town club that I co-own! *obvious spam is obvious xDD* and that signature is BEAUTIFUL <3
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