[Pokémon] "Fate" ~ PKMN Fanfic

Renegade · Jun 7, 2014

*~*~*

"Fate" ~ PKMN Fanfic

~ Introductions ~

Hiya, PokéCommunity. My name is ~~CrystalStatic~~ Renegade, and I'm here with my PKMN fanfic titled, "Fate".

I'm completely new at story writing, so hopefully I can tell a good story without too many 'writing errors' or whatever you story-telling savvy people call them. :3

I hope you enjoy my fanfic. Thank you~

~ "Fate" ~

"Fate" is about a lost Snivy and his adventures through the slowly decaying Pokémon world.

Throughout his travels, Snivy meets up with a small group of Pokémon who become his friends.

The team ultimately has to figure out how to stop the world from complete decay and destruction before it is too late.

~ Chapter 1 ~

"...Huh? ...The sun, right?"

It was a bright and early morning when I rolled out of bed and went straight to the window to observe the atmosphere of the new day.

"...Right. Okay, it's time to get moving. Time doesn't just fall off trees, you know?"

After quietly mumbling to myself, I took my leave out of my cozy hut made of sticks and straw.

"Wow, what a beautiful day!" I yelled. "Now to gather some berries. Dinner just wouldn't be the same without them."

Compiling my thoughts, I strolled along past the small hut into the winding path behind my wooded backyard area. The beautiful little scene was filled with flowers and foliage with greenery and berries aplenty. My hut was surrounded by delicate but luscious green bushes and trees, swaying in the wind. Every little nook and cranny of the area was covered in blossoming roses and ferns. The location for a single surviving Snivy like myself was almost too amazing to imagine.

"Berries… such a delicious food. Mmmm, berries…"

Soon after strolling down the path, I stumbled upon an appetizing, gushing red-berry bush.

"Ah, there they are! My supper for tonight." *pluck* *pluck* *pluck* "That should be enough. I hope temptation doesn't get the best of me, haha."

With my red-berries plucked and my dinner thoughts satisfied, I started back to my hut.

"Actually, maybe I should gather just a few more. Who knows? Maybe I'll be extra hungry tonight…" "Here we are, just a few more…" *pluck* *pluck* *plu- "Ouch!"

A sudden stab of pain jolted my gut.

"Argh, what in Arceus's name was that?"

"......"

"Meh, must have just been a cramp or someth-"

Another shot of pain.

"Gah! What was that? What's going on…? Man, my gut…"

*crunch*

"Argh! Gah! Stop! My gut… stop this! What's wrong with me? I didn't eat a single ber-"

Cutting my words off, another blow of pain stung my stomach.

"Gah… Argh. The air… it's falling… it's dying away…"

*crack*

"Bwuh… no… I'm dying away…"

A final shot of pain to the gut.

"...Gah…"

Just then, a sudden 'thump' echoed around the woods. It was the alerting sound of a desperate Pokémon helplessly falling to the ground.

Renegade · Jun 7, 2014

~ Chapter 2 ~

The next couple of moments were the most memorable in my entire life thus far. A few, uh, hours…? after falling to the leafy ground unconscious, I felt a relaxing but eerie breeze against my face. I could hear soothing sounds of rustling leaves all around me, with a burning sun blazing above me. The ground - or whatever I was lying on, felt strangely alive, rocking me into a deep sleep. The wind, so peaceful, seemed to tickle my nose as it flushed by. Everything seemed to be at peace. Then suddenly, I could feel my fingers again. My senses were slowly creeping back to me now.

".....Mur…" I whispered as I tried to lift my eyelids. "Thh….nd…"

No use. I didn't yet have the strength to move, not even enough to lift my eyelids…

So I waited.

And waited.

And waiting even longer.

Eventually, I could feel another churning in my stomach, but this wasn't pain. It was hunger. Still, I couldn't move a muscle.

* ~ * ~ *

It felt like hours before I regained any strength at all. Once again, I attempted to raise an eyelid.

I was finally successful.

"The...hell…?" I managed to murmur.

I couldn't help but feel perplexed at what I saw in my vicinity. Faintly, I could make out a straight line of blackened, towering trees jutting up into the gloomy atmosphere. There were dark shadows in the midst and dead flowers busheled against the side of a dusty, weed infested path of dehydrated grass. The air tasted like black smoke and excessive pollution. Ashes of, perhaps, burning leaves, fell helplessly to the shrouded earth. I couldn't see much more with just a single eyelid's energy.

After the previous feeling of paradise, now everything felt amiss.

Something was very wrong.

"How…"

I started to come up with some solutions to how I would handle the situation and where the hell I was at in the first place. I figured I would rest a bit and let my body regain some energy before trying to strain myself to get up. After that, I would investigate more of the area before guessing where I was. This seemed to be the only way of doing things at the moment, since I was basically dead the the world, wherever that world happened to be.

Renegade · Jun 7, 2014

*~*~*

~ Chapter 3 ~

"Grumph…"

A good few hours had passed by the time I once again awoke from unconsciousness.

"...Is it time?" *pushes to get up* "Gah… My legs are still weak, but I think I'm fine besides that. I guess it's time to get going…"

Miraculously, I managed a slow trudge towards who-knows-where. The dark path was all I knew at the moment. Once again taking in the scenery, I began contemplating a few things. Why is it so gloomy around here? Where exactly am I, anyways? How did I get here? Am I ever going to get out of this place? That last one hit me pretty hard. The forest seemed like a forever, on-going path of darkness and pollution, but I managed to override my imagination on that one and kept walking.

* ~ * ~ *

Time kept passing as I continued to move forward. Eventually, I saw something that gave me a boost of, possibly, fake hope.

"Oh! There's something here!" I told myself. "This has to be something worth seeing..."

I emerged upon a small lime-green circle of metal on the ground with a glowing white ring around it.

It was at least big enough for one Pokémon to fit on.

"What in the world is this?" I wondered. "It's some sort of armor piece, right?"

I reached down to grab it.

"HALT! STOP!"

A sudden shriek of commands were thrown at me instantly. My heart jerked back in my chest while I tried to figure out where the voice came from.

"Eek! Uh, sorry..? Who's here?"

An aggressive rustling sound came from the bushes around me.

"It's me! I'm here to protect that portal you called an 'armor piece'. It's my duty to keep the forest out of enemy hands…"

The alerted Pokémon's voice slowly drifted away at the end of it's sentence. Now I could see it clearly, right out of the brownish-looking bushes. This Pokémon was a rather small, oval shaped pig with an impressively long and curly tail. It's body was striped red and dark brown, and its tail had a funny looking orange ball sitting on it's tip. It's legs were stout with black toes, and it's face was in a circular shape. It's whole head was the same dark brown color as the stripes on it's body, and it's ears were jutted back into the air. It had a pretty sizeable mouth and a yellow-goldish looking circle right above its red nose.

"Oh, sorry about that. I had no idea it was yours. I guess I'll go the other way…"

"No, wait!"

I froze and looked back.

"I didn't mean to startle you like that. My apologies. My name is Tepig, and you are…?"

"Um, okay, my name is… Snivy."

"Snivy… what a cool name…"

This Pokémon called 'Tepig' seemed really… out of it. It's eyes started to go blank and it's gaze was stuck on me.

"Um, I'm sorry, is there something wrong?"

"What? Oh, no, don't mind me. I was just thinking. But anyways, where are you headed to?"

I thought about it for a second.

"Eh… just somewhere, haha…"

'Just somewhere' was really the most honest answer I could have given, really.

"Oh, okay. Well, good luck with that."

As Tepig started to dash off into the woods, I quickly called back.

"Hold on a minute!"

"Yes?"

"What did you mean when you said 'portal'?

This really hooked Tepig's interest.

"Oh, so you don't live around here, I'm assuming?"

"Uh, live around…"

"It doesn't matter. But yeah, that piece of metal is no armor piece, it's a customly designed and constructed portal device that my group of Pokémon use to get around quickly and somewhat safely. We have these all around the world… well, we have them everywhere we have explored so far, which isn't very far."

"So you have a group of Pokémon with you?"

"Not exactly with me, but yeah, I'm part of a little group of Pokémon. Our goal is to explore as much of the world as we can and create portals wherever seems necessary for fast travel. This way, we can help lost Pokémon get to where they want to go safely and quickly."

Tepig started to lose his sharp daze for a moment.

"...Or that was our goal until just recently. I mean, it's still our main goal, but something else has come up that is stopping us from doing it."

"And what is that?" I asked quickly.

"Well…"

He stared into (yes, Tepig is a male creature) the darkness of the gloomy forest.

"I can tell you later… For now, how about coming with me? I could show you where my group and I live and we can talk about this."

"Uhm, hmm…"

My brain started to scramble a bit. I just met this stranger Pokémon named Tepig who I've never seen before in my life and he's asking me to go to his house and 'meet' his group or whatever. My first reaction was to get out of there quickly, but my mind caught a hold of my legs for a minute. I don't really have anywhere else to go at the moment, and I'm basically dying of hunger right now…

"Hmm… it could be…"

"Oh, sorry if you have somewhere to go. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to bother y-"

"No!"

Tepig jumped.

"Ack, I didn't mean to scare you. I mean yes, I think I will go with you. It's probably the best decision right now."

"The best... um, okay then. Just step on to the teleportation pad and we'll be on our way!"

Following the red-and-orange-striped Pokémon's orders, I cautiously stepped onto the pad. Suddenly, I felt a colossal sense of extreme motion sickness and uneasiness in my body and my mind and vision instantly went blank.

Renegade · Jun 7, 2014

*~*~*

~ Chapter 4 ~

I couldn't see. I couldn't hear. I couldn't think. My body felt so much inescapable stress at this point that I didn't even care whether I could do anything simple such as seeing, I just needed to bare the intense uneasiness that was being forced upon me.

"...Here we are!"

I opened my eyes. Apparently my eyes were closed when I was being teleported through space at light speed… not sure how that one works, but whatevs.

"Neat, isn't it?"

"...Huh? Oh, well… ohhhh…"

Boy, neat was an understatement. I took in my immediate surroundings. First thing of note, there was an absolutely gorgeous, open field striped with different shades of light green. The field went on for as long as you could see and flowers just blooming into their most famous stage. The air was extremely clean and refreshing. There were puffy white clouds and a light breeze blowing through the land, just enough to give that refreshing sense of satisfaction for being outside. There were bright green, lively trees spread out along the field in arranged columns, each one swaying in the breeze and making a beautiful swooshing sound. The open space, accompanied by all of these things, felt like I've been teleported straight into paradise by Lord Arceus himself.

"Taking it all in, are you?"

"....."

"Well… okay, I guess I'll wait some time…"

"....."

* ~ * ~ *

"So where's your base that you were talking about? All I see is wide-open land."

"Oh, this isn't where my group's base is."

"...Oh. Wait, excuse me?"

"Yeah, it's actually directly under us."

"Under… Ack!"

*another quick teleportation*

"This is the real base."

I looked around. Oh, so that amazing little paradise was just the stuff above me that won't be affecting me in the slightest…

Well, that figures.

...But as you can probably tell, due to my reaction, this little cave area is no where near as beautiful as the previous. It was a, eh, maybe six or seven feet high cave with a quietly dripping ceiling of H2O. Like, the only thing you could hear in the place was an echoed dripping water sound every five seconds or so. The cavern walls were somewhat jutted in and out in a cracked sort of pattern, the floor was hard and damp, the space provided wasn't very big, maybe 26ft x 19ft x 6 or 7ft (obviously length, width, and height), and the whole place sort of had a cold feeling to it, like someone left the window open on a windy day or something. I guess the only eye appealing feature would be the golden-plated torches every four feet plastered against the walls for some light.

"So, how do you like it?"

I thought of a few insults I could throw his way, but instead, being me, I decided to play it safe (mainly because I really have no idea what is going on around here).

"Eh, it definitely gives off a 'safe homeish' kind of feel."

"Yep, the perfect place for a secret base like this one."

"I guess you could think of it that way."

I walked off the small green and white piece of metal on the ground. Really, that thing is quite the thing, you know?

"So why did you take me to that 'paradise garden' before we came here?"

"I just wanted to give you a sense of where we were going so you're not curious about where you're really at in the world."

It would be nice if that trick actually worked. Actually, figuring out where I'm at was one of the goals that I made prior to getting on my feet in the gloomy forest.

"Oh, so I guess we're not going back there…?"

"What's your name? Oh, Snivy, that's right. Anyways, Snivy, don't look at anything beautiful the way you did earlier, got it?"

"Uh… I'm not following."

"Just don't. Everything you saw was probably just doomed to die in a couple of days, anyways."

...What. This was the most confusing thing for me to comprehend. Why would Tepig say that?

Couldn't he see the gorgeous scenery just before him? I didn't understand. So, I just decided to change the subject, or I was going to, before Tepig started with another speech.

"But yeah, this is where my friends and I live when we aren't out and about. We only claimed this cave a couple of days ago, so it's still pretty fresh."

"Okay, so where do you guys sleep and eat?"

"I was hoping you would ask me that."

Just then, the small cave started to rumble a bit. It wasn't so much of an earthquake's kind of rumble, but a more subtle and quiet one. Plus, it wasn't the floor that was shaking, it was the walls. Soon, six square imprints started to form on all sides of the cave. The square indents weren't too wide, just about 4ft x 4ft x ceiling height. Each indent then shifted off to the sides of the rocky walls, exactly like an automatic door on an elevator. What was revealed behind the rocky doors weren't elevator shafts, though. Six small rooms (one behind each of the automatic sliding 'doors') were nicely carved into a decent looking rectangular shape. Each room was about, eh, 12ft x 8ft x ceiling height, so they were not, by any means, 'big living quarters'. Each room had a small brown and tan wooden table with a blue and white plaid cloth sitting over the top center of it. There were two wooden chairs per room, but only a single bed. Each 'bed' was a pile of sticks and dirt neatly shaped out into an oval on the ground. The beds actually didn't look half bad after not having one for a decent amount of time. Each room also had a small candle on the tables and there were two golden-plated torches tightened up on both of the side walls.

"Wow…"

"Quite the engineering, right?"

"Uh, yeah, who made this stuff, if you don't mind telling?"

"All of these doors and the teleportation portals were constructed by my friend, Torkoal. He's the one that creates all of our handy gadgets around here."

"So he must be really good with inventing stuff then, right?"

"That's right. All six of us in this group are good at something or another. Each Pokémon here plays a big role in the grand scheme of things. Not only that, but we're all good friends. We've all been friends for a long time, even before we created this group."

This made me sort of shrivel up on the inside. Thinking about Tepig and his friends makes me wish I would have gone out and made some friends during my time alone at my house. But it's really too late for that, now. You can't go back and change the past…

"...Do you like it here, Snivy?"

"What? Oh, me?"

"Yeah. Do you like it here?"

"Uh, yeah I guess so. It's better than where I've been for the past… uh… while."

"Oh really? What were you doing before you came with me?"

"Well…"

Cutting my words off, the teleportation portal started to glow with an intense white glare.

"Oh, it's the rest of the group!"

I started to get nervous when Tepig announced this. I still don't feel comfortable being here with one stranger, so adding even more of them might not be an ideal reality for me.

"Here they come..."

With that, five Pokémon suddenly appeared out of a white illumination.

Renegade · Jun 16, 2014

*~*~*

~ Chapter 5 ~

"Welcome back!"

Tepig must have been happy to see his friends. His smile never seems to fade away when he's thinking about them.

"Hiya, Tepig!"

"Tepig, we're back!"

"How's it going, Tepig?"

As I continued to awkwardly stare into the shining white light, I could make out five Pokémon in total. The first one was a surprisingly cute little pig-nosed guy. It had a dull grey color to its round body with a grey pig-shaped nose attached right on the front. Its eyes were like little black marbles plastered right above the thing's big nose. Its cheeks were a bright light oval-shaped pink positioned right under its innocent eyes with little stubby arms on the side of its body. It held a decent sized pink and white ball in between its small pointy ears. The ball seemed to be made of glass, but I couldn't really tell. It walked… or jumped..? on a grey, spring-like tail. It seemed to be really excited to see Tepig. Maybe this was a younger Pokémon, because it acted like Tepig was its father or something.

The second Pokémon in line looked exactly like a dark grey-colored horse. It had white stripes on different parts of its body with small black hooves and a lightning-shaped stubby tail. This Pokémon also had a black, oval-looking nose and a white lightning-shaped design on its head. I think it's hair, but I'm not entirely sure. It's eyes were ocean blue and it had a small smile hidden underneath its nose.

The next Pokémon was a bright blue turtle with a decent sized brown shell attached to its back. It had a curly tail coming out from underneath its backshell and its arms and legs looked like pointy stubs made out of water. Its eyes were a serious deep purple. Looking into them, you could tell that this Pokémon wasn't the 'joker' one of the pack.

The sight of all of these new Pokémon was a lot to take in, but I kept going.

The fourth Pokémon looked like a short mole Pokémon with intimidating claws that were just about as big as its entire body! It stood on two chubby feet and had a dark brown and bluish-purple color design to it. Its face, however, was pure white, like something made out of the clouds in the sky. Its nose was jutting out of its face with a stern and serious facial expression.

The last Pokémon that appeared was a dirty, dusty, dried-out, old looking Pokémon. It looked like an old, saggy, orange turtle with a grey shell on its back with some smoke bellowing out of it. The mere sight of this Pokémon made you think of how tired and worked it was from the day's activities. Its face suggested that it was worn out, but also happy to see its friends, too.

"Hiya, you guys. Welcome back."

"So, Tepig, who's your friend?"

I jumped at the sentence.

"This is Snivy. I found him wandering around Faithful Forest just a little while ago. I've been talking to him about what we do and showing him our home."

"Wait a minute," the blue turtle said, "are you planning on asking him to help us out?"

"Ehm, well, I was just going to tell-"

"He doesn't look like the most useful Pokémon in the world, you know."

"Well, you don't know that for-"

"Just remember that we need be be cautious about interacting with other Pokémon right now. You never know who has been infected and who is still sane."

This was confusing. What did the turtle mean when he said 'infected'? There's still so much to understand and figure out about, well, everything and everyone right now…

The turtle started talking to me. "So, Snivy."

"Oh, eh, yeah?"

"What were you doing in that forest, anyway? If you were there not to long ago, you must've been infected by now, right? So what were you doing?"

"Ehm, well, I…"

How could I answer him? I don't even know what I was doing in there.

"Well, I was just… you know… looking for an exit."

"What do you mean? Clearly you went into the forest to do something, right?"

"Eh, hmm…"

All eyes were on me now.

"I didn't go into the, what did you call it, Faithful Forest intentionally."

Everyone's faces were completely frozen on me now. I could feel every one of these Pokémon judging me as I spoke.

"I don't know how long I was really in there. At first, I was picking berries at my home when all of a sudden I felt a piercing sting in my gut. After a few more shots, I…"

The turtle spoke up again. "You what?"

"Well, I don't remember. I just woke up, somehow in the middle of a dark and eerie forest."

"So you must be clean, then."

"What? What do you mean, clean?"

"..."

"Uhm, are you okay?"

"Yeah, just thinking about something."

Tepig broke in. " Hold on, Snivy. You said you just woke up in the forest, right? Not knowing where you were?"

"Yes, that's correct."

"So that explains why you didn't know about the portal yet. Snivy, I think we might actually know what happened to you. It's just that…"

The turtle broke in with a deadly serious sound to his voice. "I'll explain."

Renegade · Jun 16, 2014

*~*~*

~ Chapter 6 ~

The turtle began to speak.

"A few days ago, we established a group. Our group was just us six friends trying to help out lost Pokémon, such as yourself. We did this by creating custom portal devices that would teleport Pokémon from one area of the world to another. We started off pretty well and helped quite a few Pokémon, but then something got in the way."

Tepig broke in. "Let me just say that this wasn't something we could ask to move. It was a sort of darkness, a pure decaying force."

"Right. Just yesterday, which was the day before Tepig found you in Faithful Forest, a dark shadow suddenly appeared in the middle of the forest where there were absolutely zero trees. All of us decided to investigate the source of the shadow. Once we got there, we noticed something eerie. The shadow was rapidly expanding, like some kind of slime experiment gone wrong. The weird part is, everything it engulfed instantly… well… instantly died."

Now the little spring-tailed character spoke. "Obviously, we didn't want to touch the thing, because that would be scary!"

"Erm, yes, she's right. Let me elaborate. We didn't want to step into the shadow because we were afraid we might die as well, along with the surrounding vegetation. So, we decided to run for some help, but right when we turned around to escape, a sharp sting of pain was shot straight through our guts, similar to what you experienced. A few minutes later we all regained some consciousness and found our beautiful forest looking like a dead, decaying wasteland of forgotten life."

All of this information was astonishing. I was completely frozen at the story being told to me.

"We were happy that we were alive, however, terrified at the sight of Faithful Forest. After waking from unconsciousness, we decided to check the borders of the forest to make sure the land next to us wasn't, infected, if you will. Luckily, the shadow seemed to stop at the border of the forest, contrary to what we thought at the time. Just after that, everyone, excluding Tepig, decided to ask around to see if anyone knew what was going on, but nobody knew anything."

"That's right." Tepig cut in. "And just as they left to ask for any knowledge on the situation, I stumbled upon you, Snivy, lying in the middle of the forest."

I started to think about my surroundings when I awoke. If that was what the forest looked like after the shadow engulfed it, then…

"Do you understand so far?"

"Oh, me? Yeah, I'm following. I'm just thinking, if you all were hit by the shadow's force just hours before me, that must mean the shadow contacted my home's area, right?"

"You may be right." The old, worn-out turtle spoke now. "With the force that we experienced, it wouldn't be unlikely that the shadow spread to your house just after it hit the edges of the forest. Although, you do have keep in mind that the land outside the forest was untouched just as Tepig found you. So if you think back on the shadow originating in the forest, it's likely that…"

"Mhm." The zebra started to speak. "It's likely that the shadow doesn't exactly stretch outwards like we thought, rather, it targets certain areas and then spawns a new shadow to take over its next target."

"Hmm…"

We all stood in deep thought for a few long minutes.

* ~ * ~ *

"So!" shouted Tepig. "I suppose that everyone should introduce themselves to Snivy now, right?"

"Hmm, I suppose." The blue turtle was the first to speak to me. "My name is Squirtle. I have the job of dealing with all things that have to do with water."

Next, the black and white-striped zebra spoke. "My name is Blitzle. I do all of the message-carrying and stuff like that. So basically, I carry messages to each member of the group when we're all split up."

Next was the brown and blue mole with the gigantic claws. "Hey, my name's Drilbur. I ain't got time for runnin' around, so I have the job of drillin' holes into the ground whenever we need to dig in the ground to either stabilize portals in the dirt or whatever else."

Fourth was the little springy Pokémon with the pink pearl on its head. "Hiya, friend! My name is Spoink! I like to pick berries off of trees and bring them home for my friends to eat. And sometimes, Tepig lets me go with the others and help put some portals in the ground!"

Lastly was the worn old turtle. "Hello, Snivy."

Just hearing his deep intriguing voice made me instantly gain respect for him.

"My name is Torkoal. I used to study as a biological engineer back in the day, but now I construct my very own portal devices to help lost Pokémon. You may not know this yet, but I am actually Squirtle's past-mentor in battle training."

"And as you know, I'm Tepig. Now I think it's safe to ask you, Snivy, would you…"

Tepig looked back at the group of Pokémon awaiting an offer from Tepig. They all nodded their heads in agreement to whatever he was about to ask.

"Would you like to join our group? We would love to have you as a part of our team and I'm sure you would make a great friend! So what do you say?"

I felt extremely happy on the inside, being asked to join Tepig's group of friends. Almost too happy. I could feel a tear shed from my right eye as I looked past Tepig into the crowd of Pokémon waiting for my response. I had never been asked to be a part of anything before. I was so happy…

"Snivy?"

I tried to get my thoughts organized, but the feelings were just too strong. I had to think about things for a minute. Would anybody miss me if I stayed here? No, I was all alone at home. Do I have to go home and grab anything? No, I had nothing anyways, and thinking about the shadow, I might not even have a home anymore. Is it safe to stay with these Pokémon? I thought to myself. It had to be. These Pokémon were the most accepting I've ever seen in my life. They're asking me to become one of them and help them with their quest to stop the shadow and help with the transportation stuff after just meeting me.

"Uhm, Snivy? What do you say?"

I looked up at Tepig. I took a deep breath and exhaled with delight and satisfaction.

"All right. I think I'll join you guys!"

icomeanon6 · Jun 19, 2014

CrystalStatic said:
Hiya, PokéCommunity. My name is CrystalStatic, and I'm here with my PKMN fanfic titled, "Fate".

I'm completely new at story writing, so hopefully I can tell a good story without too many 'writing errors' or whatever you story-telling savvy people call them. :3

Hiya CrystalStatic, my name's Anon. Welcome to the wonderful world of writing and our little corner in it at PCFF&W!

First off, it's nice to see that you've kept posting even without any replies/reviews. An early dry spell is often a major deterrent for new guys around here, so keep it up.

On that note, I think one of the reasons reviewers haven't showed up yet might be the CSS. I can kind of dig the scroll bar, but I'm absolutely not digging the green-on-grey. The low contrast makes it hard to read. I think it's better to stick to the default colors so you know what shows up for everyone will be what they want to see.

And now on to the actual review:

You have a few good ideas working here. The shadow is interesting, and provides a good amount of menace. Another good source of menace is the implication that some Pokemon are insane due to their being "infected" by something. In execution, though, I think these are missed opportunities so far. You have a character in Snivy who knows about as little as we do going into all this, but the shadow and rampant infection are explained to him instead of encountered more directly. When Snivy goes from being vaguely-lost-and-confused to all of the sudden in a very safe, very well equipped facility complete with six instant friends it makes the whole world feel much safer than I think you mean it to. If you keep the danger at arm's length and dispose of mystery too abruptly through exposition, there's little left to grab the reader.

As for the quality of the writing itself, you're certainly not short on description. Unfortunately, you let it run a little wild in parts, especially on the physical description of the characters. Even if you're going with the pretense that Snivy doesn't really know about any other Pokemon, you don't need to go into every last detail of what a Tepig looks like. Either the reader knows what a Tepig looks like and gets bored with the length, or the reader doesn't know what a Tepig looks like and can't remember all the details anyway. More general descriptions are fine, especially because you already use words like "pig" or "turtle."

Other problems that arise when you try to say too much in the description is that sometimes you get inconsistencies, like here:

I felt a relaxing but eerie breeze against my somewhat numb face.

Snivy's getting a really specific feeling from that breeze, which is incongruous with how his face is "numb."

Description is tricky. It's hard to find that balance between dry and overwrought (at least, it certainly is for me). One guideline I try to follow is to avoid is adding detail just because everything feels too short. It's better to focus on what your main ideas are and come up with just enough detail to convey and enrich those. So for example, don't tell us how big a room is by giving its precise dimensions (even if you precede it with 'maybe' so that it sounds like a guess). Stick with the qualitative indicators for how big it is, the ones that evoke how the place is supposed to feel. So descriptions like the open window comparison good, numbers bad.

There are some grammar mistakes in there as well. The biggest one I noticed was using it's where you actually mean its. The former is the contraction for it is, while the latter is the possessive. So "it's hot outside," but "its teeth sure are sharp." I don't have time to do a full grammar review of your fic, though, so if you need more help on that front you can try looking for a grammar beta-reader.

tl;dr: You have some good ideas but still need to present them in a gripping way. Descriptions are shaky too, so be sure you keep writing and especially keep reading books, as that's the best way to improve your overall writing quality.

[Pokémon] "Fate" ~ PKMN Fanfic

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Renegade

Time for real life...

Renegade

Time for real life...

Renegade

Time for real life...

Renegade

Time for real life...

Renegade

Time for real life...

Renegade

Time for real life...

icomeanon6

It's "I Come Anon"