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Fanfiction Lounge

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Natsuki

.bluefang.
5,046
Posts
19
Years
Well, I've read your LotR series RMW, and I think it's a pretty good fan fic in the plot sense. ^^

Really what you have to do for descriptions is just cram as much detail into it as possible. XD Even the tiniest things, like what Frodo and the gang had for lunch and the simmering vegetables over a stoking fire is enough detail to really get readers ready for more. ^______^

~Kelsey
 
Morkula

Morkula

[b][color=#356F93]Get in the Game[/color][/b]
7,297
Posts
20
Years
Oh, you've only seen part of the plot now. ;)
I could always post the previews... ^^
 

Miyu-chan

.::f l o w e r g i r l::.
5,956
Posts
20
Years
  • Age 35
  • Seen Apr 23, 2014
Ooo, Thanks for the correction of grammar. xD; *is very bad at grammar*

Well, some of the points that you mentioned are going to be explained in further chapters... *is hit with a wave of shame*

But thank you so much for the review! xDDD
 

Natsuki

.bluefang.
5,046
Posts
19
Years
Yeah! ^____^ I'd love for you to post some previews of it. <3<3 Gah, I have yet to write another chapter to my fic. .__.

~Kelsey
 

Iveechan

based on a paperclip
1,383
Posts
20
Years
Hm. I'd rather not list any awards that my fics have one (well, just one of my fics has won a few awards). It makes the person seem snotty and egotystical. And that actually turns me OFF from a fic. Though once in awhile I will read a fic that won a bajillion awards, more out of spite, trying to find flaws with them. Yes, I'm spiteful and mean.
 
Morkula

Morkula

[b][color=#356F93]Get in the Game[/color][/b]
7,297
Posts
20
Years
k, here are the previews I posted at Insanity V2. Not too many spoilers :P:

THE GROWING SHADOW- Darkness has fallen upon Middle-Earth once again. Over a hundred years after the War of the Ring, a new Dark Lord has risen to power. He has unleashed his Daeg?l upon the world. They have already reclaimed Angmar in the name of Mordor. Can they be stopped? At the same time, Gondor's new king has been captured. Only one person can save him...

THE DARKNESS DEEPENS- Morkula continues his assault upon Middle-Earth. With the aid of some very powerful new allies, he marches toward Gondor. Can Minas Tirith be saved from destruction by this terrible force? And an new ally shows up to aid Gandalf and the forces of good. Will it be enough?

THE FATE OF AN AGE- The battle goes to the east, where unexpected allies await the forces of good. The biggest battle in Middle-Earth's history comes to the gates of Variagas, capital of the Variags, a race of Men who had once allied themselves with Sauron. Here Morkula unleashes his greatest terror on the world. Can this new terror be defeated? It's the forces of good, led by Gandalf, Aragorn, and Eldarion, battling the forces of darkness, led by Morkula himself...
 

Casual Billy

Wargreymon: Miracle Mega
217
Posts
19
Years
  • Seen May 13, 2006
I agree with Iveechan. Expressing how good you think your fic is does sound kinda haughty and arrogant and if you already think your fic is awesome, why solicit the opinions of reviewers? I always try to remain humble as I see it the best way to attract well-intentioned reviewers and not draw them in out of spite ^.
 

Aiya Quackform

Her High Quackiness
189
Posts
19
Years
Well, I think the manner in which you show the awards that your fic has won makes a difference. For a person to say something along the lines of, "I won this award! Now you have to read it! My fic totally deserves it!" is obnoxious and I probably wouldn't read it. However, for someone to say, "I'd like to thank soandso for awarding my fic this NAMEOFAWARD. I'm glad you like it so much, and I look forward to improving my skills further," is something else entirely. It can also just be a matter of personal preference, I suppose.

Meanwhile, I have a new original fiction out! It's less than 250 words, so I'd appreciate a few reviews since I'm working really hard on my original fiction and need some feedback. It's called "Sins & Scars".

Commercial: So many things in the past, so many things that are scarred and can never heal. I was foolish. So many years later, and my senses still cannot leave behind the stink of destruction and death.

You can find "Sins & Scars" in the "Other Writing" chamber, or you can just click here:
http://www.pokecommunity.com/showthread.php?p=924907#post924907
 
Frostweaver

Frostweaver

Ancient + Prehistoric
8,246
Posts
20
Years
@ Summer's Dying Days

-first sentence needed either an "and" or some other forms of conjunction... right now I doubt that it's grammatically correct

-hmm... the appearance of "Emily" seems to take away from the fanfic more than adding to it. Really didn't do much except adding it extra confusion... just use "Alexander's friend" as the label instead.

-the 2nd scene of the battle can actually be expanded even a bit more in the emotional level... about either Linoone's loyalty to Alexander, or Alexander's care for Linoone

-another problem is Linoone playing with the leaves... if summer/fall is used as such important symbols, then associating Linoone's healthy days with the autumn leaves is a bit contradictory... in the symbolic level, that needs to be improved...

Good Points
-original ideas
-very emotional, supported by proper structure
-well constructed story!

Focuses to Improve On
-small grammar mistakes
-agreement of symbols and metaphors
-trimming down unneeded information

Grammar Basics: 9/10
Characterization: 18/20
Coherence/Readability: 10/10
Tone/Structure: 17/20
Diction: 18/20
Effort/Originality: 20/20 *excellent*
Lit. Device bonus: +5 (motif, symbol, alliteration, metaphor, flashback)

Total: 97 {STANDARD OF EXCELLENCE}

... from now on I'll just say 1 Standard of Excellence Story from each author... all of you getting multiple awards are crowding my sig too much >>;
 

Natsuki

.bluefang.
5,046
Posts
19
Years
Oooooooooh, those are neat previews. <3<3 I really like the second one, The Darkness Deepens. ^^ It gives you a good feeling of a neat cliffhanger coming into play. ^.~ Nice work RMW. ^_________^

~Kelsey
 
Morkula

Morkula

[b][color=#356F93]Get in the Game[/color][/b]
7,297
Posts
20
Years
Actually, IMO, the second one has the weakest story. =/
But we'll see how it is after I finish it. ^^
 

Geometric-sama

The Manly Man of Steel
11,440
Posts
20
Years
:O 97? Cool! XD I didn't even know I used alliteration... I need to re-read that story, I haven't looked at it for WEEKS. XD Thanks Fwosty~

@ Lily: See, you get so many SoEs Fwosty had to take out some of them XD

*goes to reread the story and look @ corrections*

Oh, and I left out an "and" on purpose. Again, it's for a certain impression. Grammatically, it's correct. As the last words are all comma-separated adjectives a conjunction isn't required.
 
Frostweaver

Frostweaver

Ancient + Prehistoric
8,246
Posts
20
Years
... unless that adjective is an "Australian thing" then I don't know. In terms of Canada reading, yes you do ^^;
 

Geometric-sama

The Manly Man of Steel
11,440
Posts
20
Years
Really? I didn't know you live in Canada XD. Well, OK, I'll keep that in mind for the next "Frosty-review"...

Hey, isn't 97 the same as what Lily and someone else got? XD
 
Frostweaver

Frostweaver

Ancient + Prehistoric
8,246
Posts
20
Years
yes yes 97 are the highest score presented- Lily's Light Kiss, Yamato-san's Pocket Monster Chronicles... no one got 98 and 99, and I *never* give 100 as I don't believe in any writing getting "perfect"
 
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