The Rainbow Connection [LGBTS Club]

Wait, what? What isn't sexual about pansexuality? It's not that different from, say, heterosexuality wherein a straight person can form romantic and sexual attraction. It's just a matter of which group of people they can be attracted to.

@ Andy: of course you wouldn't form a romantic attraction to a woman. You like men.

I guess I would just like to amend the definition of pansexuality, it's just the one portion that makes the definition a bit skeptical.

It should not be, sexual and/or romantic attraction to all gender identities.

The definition should be sexual attraction to all gender identities.

Those who are not sexually attracted to all gender identities, but claim to be romantically attracted to all gender identities, and thereby claiming to be pansexual, seem to either be in a phase or a fad, that kind of undermines the premise that sexual minorities have no choice in their sexuality.

Illuminaughty said:

The definition should be sexual attraction to all gender identities.

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That's what the definition is. If you're romantically attracted to all genders, then you're panromantic.

I'd like to join. Just want to say I'm trans and kinda stressed out about it. Well not about it itself but the way my family is acting about it. Hope to meet new people here.

Oh, I have heard that term used in both contexts, but the definition I kept running into was "Pansexuality is sexual attraction, sexual desire, romantic love, or emotional attraction toward persons of all gender identities and biological sexes."

But I will take your word on it that the actual meaning is sexual attractions to all gender identities.

I have known several people who claimed to be pansexual who say they are only romantically and/or emotionally attraction toward all gender identities. People who claimed to be pansexual, but in actuality are exclusively pan-romantic or those who claim to be exclusively pan-romantic (not pansexual) are the ones that represent the fad.

And this goes for all sexualities, I have just seen this more with people who claim to be pansexual simply because of the ambiguity/misuse of the term. Like it's a fad if you are purely heterosexual yet you are homoromantic. Or, if you are purely homosexual, yet you are heteroromantic. It just doesn't make sense for someone to date outside their innate sexual orientation.

The only exceptions are asexual individuals since they do not have any sexual feelings towards any gender identities, and therefore have no choice but to identify as being romantic with someone who they are not sexually attracted to if they are to date.

Just to let you guys know, I was not saying pan-sexuality by it's more accurate definition was a fad.

IwatasBananas said:

I'd like to join. Just want to say I'm trans and kinda stressed out about it. Well not about it itself but the way my family is acting about it. Hope to meet new people here.

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Oh, hi. Welcome. Nice to have new peoples around.

So you're out to your family? That's brave. How badly did they take it?

http://www.joshweed.com/2012/06/club-unicorn-in-which-i-come-out-of.html

I found this on Facebook posted by a friend of mine interested in things like this. Thought I'd post it here for you all to read. I think you'll find it interesting. I certainly did.

"I want you to stop battling with this part of you that you may have understood as being sinful. Being gay does not mean you are a sinner or that you are evil. Sin is in action, not in temptation or attraction. I feel this is a very important distinction. This is true for every single person. You don't get to choose your circumstances, but you do get to choose what you do with them."

Look beyond the rhetoric and you will find a judgmental hypocrite. Paraphrase, "it's all right if you are homosexual, as long as you choose not to engage in homosexual activity, oh, but you have a choice!"


"If you are gay, you will have to choose to fill in the gaps somewhere. I choose to enjoy sex in a way that is different than the ideal for a gay man. It all comes down to what you choose and why, and knowing what you want for yourself and why you want it."

This is why heterosexual prisoners have sexual relations. They didn't really make a choice, they were locked-up in prison, the only way to engage in sexual activity is with other men. The only choices they have are less satisfying sex life/no sex life.

In this man's case, his faith and God tells him if he commits sexual acts with another man, he will burn in hell. He has been given either the option to burn in hell, or seek a less satisfying or no sex life. Obviously if you truly believed that those were the only "choices", you would go with one of the second choices (less satisfying sex life/no sex life). Essentially, he was placed in a similar predicament as a prisoner. He essentially did not make a choice, his religious faith did.

I think it is comedic that both him as his wife do the blog together, she being his publicist. Of course he is not going to say the sex is bad or even that it is just okay, everything is filtered through his wife! So I am not saying everything he is saying is true or false, it is more so impossible to determine since anything he is not willing to admit to wife cannot be written. Basically this blog means nothing since he cannot candidly address his sentiments, and gives an impression that those who are in gay relationships have made a choice of sin.

Scarf said:

Oh, hi. Welcome. Nice to have new peoples around.

So you're out to your family? That's brave. How badly did they take it?

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They try to talk me out of it sadly

IwatasBananas said:

They try to talk me out of it sadly

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I am sorry to hear about your situation. If it helps, many parents of sexual/gender minorities think that either it's a choice or it can be changed. On the bright side, it doesn't sound like they have kicked you out of their lives; they really do think that they are helping. The reason why they want to help is because they love you.

With that being said, like most parents who try to help their children by trying to change their sexual or gender identity, overtime, they will see the only way that they can help you is through supporting you, eventually they may even embrace it.

I don't really have any useful advice other than don't compromise who you are, as frustrating as it may be, have some patience with your parents'/family's acceptance, and seek out old and new friends to be supportive of you when you might not have that from your parents.

I really hope that anything I say helps, there are a lot of people to talk to on here, some who, like you, have had gender identity struggles.

My mother belivie that everyone has some attractiveness for both genders inside of them ,even if its a little tiny bit of difference. My parents are perfectly ok with who I am.

I actually want to just kind of talk about something, its a bit personal, but I'd rather dump it here to see what people think about what I have to say. It is about my sexuality, my "gender", and even my apperence.

I had a lot of phases where I thought I was gay, bisexual, transgender, or all sorts of sexuality, but right now I'm just myself and pansexual. I am a natural born male, but I have came to the conclusion that I'd rather be known as some where in the between. Where I can be able to pass as both and kind of be a 50/50. I find people who give off that kind of apperence to be attractive, and I'd love to strive to be that. However, I am not that; I am more masculine physically, more neutral in RL appeal, and a lot more feminine in online talk.

I feel as if I can't really give myself the label of "gender-nuetral" because I'm not aligned in the middle in all of my situations, when I would rather be. A big part of my desire to become one in the middle is a bit because I have an attractiveness for people like that, and part of it is because its something I would want to do.

I never really felt like this until some time last year when I started going through these weird phases, but this feels like the final answer to what I need. I don't want to be a girly-male, or a trans woman, I kind of just want to be on my own in a way. I don't want to grow a beard and be muscular, nor do I care to be wearing skirts and trying to take hormones.

I don't know, maybe I am weird for this, but I'd rather be weird than sheltered from myself.

TL;DR - I feel like that my sexuality has shifted to something I have a high agreeing on and that is being someone who has an unidentified gender and belong in the pansexual flag.

I may follow up later, I may not; just want to talk.

Hey, IwatasBananas, it's great to see you made your way down here :D welcome! And welcome to you too Illuminaughty! :D

Patchisou Yutohru said:

http://www.joshweed.com/2012/06/club-unicorn-in-which-i-come-out-of.html

I found this on Facebook posted by a friend of mine interested in things like this. Thought I'd post it here for you all to read. I think you'll find it interesting. I certainly did.

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That is quite possibly the most fascinating gay-related thing I've ever read. I'm honestly really happy for him and his wife. I watched the video of them thanking everybody in their most recent blog post and they really do seem like they're totally in love.

I do think it's sad that his faith made him feel like a same-sex relationship wasn't an option for him, but in this rare case it seems like religion worked to his advantage, because the restrictions it placed on him drove him to his wife. Just a case of circumstances working out and everything falling into place. Rare, but I guess it can happen.

I did notice what you noticed, too, Illuminaughty - he was very vague and wishy-washy in his answer to that question, which irked me a bit - but I guess it was better than outright saying "homosexual acts are a sin and against God and yes I do believe all gay Mormon men should endeavour to find a woman". I don't think I'm quite as cynical about the whole thing as you are :P

I also hope he apologised for what he said to that lesbian psychologist - even if he was joking to make a point, that was still not a nice thing to say.

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@SchwarzRozen - I actually think that's pretty cool. I've seen a few androgynous people before where I couldn't tell whether they were male or female and when it's done right, it doesn't matter which they are because they're incredibly attractive regardless. I've always admired those people because I think they're really cool and mysterious haha.

Tehe, thanks ^.^

Yeah, I really would like to go for that apperence, who knows maybe I'd crossdress every know and then too as some girls clothing does look nice~
I wish I wern't so tall, large, lazy, and poor to go for this apperence, but I have been taking baby steps to go for it. It wasn't until 2012 where I started thinking about apperences, fashion, and all this stuff in real detail.

Patchisou Yutohru said:

http://www.joshweed.com/2012/06/club-unicorn-in-which-i-come-out-of.html

I found this on Facebook posted by a friend of mine interested in things like this. Thought I'd post it here for you all to read. I think you'll find it interesting. I certainly did.

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While I also thought I saw hints of "gays should try to act as straight as they can" I do think this guy is being pretty honest and not judgmental. I do think that he's being a little harsh on people who don't have those grand, love-conquers-all relationships like he says he has. And when you put those ideas together I can see how the message sort of ends up as "if you really felt love for someone like you should it shouldn't matter if it's a woman." But eh, at least he isn't saying he's ex-gay. That's some progress.

I do appreciate hearing about people with off-the-beaten-path sexualities like this.

IwatasBananas said:

They try to talk me out of it sadly

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Well, as long as it's only talk and there's no hatred you've got plenty of hope of getting through to them. Assuming they listen to you at all, but if they're talking they're probably listening, too.

SchwarzRozen said:

My mother belivie that everyone has some attractiveness for both genders inside of them ,even if its a little tiny bit of difference. My parents are perfectly ok with who I am.

I actually want to just kind of talk about something, its a bit personal, but I'd rather dump it here to see what people think about what I have to say. It is about my sexuality, my "gender", and even my apperence.

I had a lot of phases where I thought I was gay, bisexual, transgender, or all sorts of sexuality, but right now I'm just myself and pansexual. I am a natural born male, but I have came to the conclusion that I'd rather be known as some where in the between. Where I can be able to pass as both and kind of be a 50/50. I find people who give off that kind of apperence to be attractive, and I'd love to strive to be that. However, I am not that; I am more masculine physically, more neutral in RL appeal, and a lot more feminine in online talk.

I feel as if I can't really give myself the label of "gender-nuetral" because I'm not aligned in the middle in all of my situations, when I would rather be. A big part of my desire to become one in the middle is a bit because I have an attractiveness for people like that, and part of it is because its something I would want to do.

I never really felt like this until some time last year when I started going through these weird phases, but this feels like the final answer to what I need. I don't want to be a girly-male, or a trans woman, I kind of just want to be on my own in a way. I don't want to grow a beard and be muscular, nor do I care to be wearing skirts and trying to take hormones.

I don't know, maybe I am weird for this, but I'd rather be weird than sheltered from myself.

TL;DR - I feel like that my sexuality has shifted to something I have a high agreeing on and that is being someone who has an unidentified gender and belong in the pansexual flag.

I may follow up later, I may not; just want to talk.

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What you should strive for is to be happy with yourself. Ask yourself what really matters most to you. Is it how you feel inside, how people perceive you, how they interact with you, address you or think of you? Everyone deals with issues of their appearance, even people without sexual/gender identity questions. Just look at any girl who isn't pencil thin and you're probably looking at someone who has struggled with the idea of being unhappy with how they look because they didn't fit some preconceived idea of what they should look like.

I've also gone through a lot of feelings where I just wanted to be androgynous across the board. It would make things a lot easier, but hard work is something you gotta do if you want to have a greater impression on others and even yourself sometimes. Whatever you feel like you want to be, that's how you should think of yourself regardless of what others think of you. There is no minimum requirement you have to meet before you can be androgynous expect the ones that you set for yourself and those that you let other people put on you.

My policy is not to make yourself something you're not. If you naturally act feminine when online, well that's who you are. Being androgynous does not mean being 50/50 gender-neutral in all aspects. It means your "girly" balances out your "boyish" and vice-versa. Plenty of androgyne/genderqueer people have feminine things about them and masculine things about them. Being a mixed bag is just the beauty of it.

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I don't mind acting more feminine, actually I kind of like it a bit more, I know I act to who I am, and I'm true to that. Its my apperence that is more masculine, but all I really need to do to fix that is to loose some weight, and maybe shave my chin.

What you should strive for is to be happy with yourself. Ask yourself what really matters most to you. Is it how you feel inside, how people perceive you, how they interact with you, address you or think of you? Everyone deals with issues of their appearance, even people without sexual/gender identity questions. Just look at any girl who isn't pencil thin and you're probably looking at someone who has struggled with the idea of being unhappy with how they look because they didn't fit some preconceived idea of what they should look like.

I've also gone through a lot of feelings where I just wanted to be androgynous across the board. It would make things a lot easier, but hard work is something you gotta do if you want to have a greater impression on others and even yourself sometimes. Whatever you feel like you want to be, that's how you should think of yourself regardless of what others think of you. There is no minimum requirement you have to meet before you can be androgynous expect the ones that you set for yourself and those that you let other people put on you.

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I just want to look attractive to where I can look at my natural body and be like "I'm proud to have it". Right now I weigh around 270lbs, and I hate it. Its not as bad as I'm on the taller side, but I would like to shrink down. I have fun doing things like crossdressing and what not, so it'd be done a lot better if I were more slender. I'm happy with the ideas I have,a nd who I am mentally, but when it comes to the physcial side of things, I'm kind of on the oppisite end of where I want to be, but I can work at it. Infact, I've been spending the last few hours planning some stuff to do.