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Help & Advice Thread

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Silais

That useless reptile
297
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I'm not sure if this kind of question is allowed, but I'll try anyways...

So for the past couple of days I've been urinating more than normal, and my immediate thought went to "Oh God, I'm pregnant". I don't have any other early symptoms of pregnancy, but frequent urination is one of them. I was sexually active up until about 10 days ago; I was on birth control and condoms were used the last time I had sex. Ever since I started being sexually active I'd been extremely worried about being pregnant, and having my period was such a relief each month. It's been 24 days since my last period and I'm on pins and needles waiting for it to occur or not occur. I'm not sure what I'm asking...I guess I'm just wondering what I should do? If I don't get my period after a week into October, what should I do?

I was as mature and careful about sex as I possibly could be, but...it may not have been enough. I realize the risks of having sex and know if I'm pregnant I am responsible for it. However, I'm not sure what to do right now. Again, sorry if this is a question that isn't supposed to be asked here.
 
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I'm not sure if this kind of question is allowed, but I'll try anyways...

So for the past couple of days I've been urinating more than normal, and my immediate thought went to "Oh God, I'm pregnant". I don't have any other early symptoms of pregnancy, but frequent urination is one of them. I was sexually active up until about 10 days ago; I was on birth control and condoms were used the last time I had sex. Ever since I started being sexually active I'd been extremely worried about being pregnant, and having my period was such a relief each month. It's been 24 days since my last period and I'm on pins and needles waiting for it to occur or not occur. I'm not sure what I'm asking...I guess I'm just wondering what I should do? If I don't get my period after a week into October, what should I do?

I was as mature and careful about sex as I possibly could be, but...it may not have been enough. I realize the risks of having sex and know if I'm pregnant I am responsible for it. However, I'm not sure what to do right now. Again, sorry if this is a question that isn't supposed to be asked here.

First off, I want you to keep in mind that I'm a guy, & thus will never experience it myself.

Still, what I can tell you is, if your period hasn't come within a week's worth of time, you could either get one of those home pregnancy tests, or see an Obstetrician, if possible. That's considering that you've got regular periods, ma'am.

Quite frankly, since you've been taking birth control, I've heard that they might mess around with your periods from time to time, so that's also something to keep in mind as well.

If it turns out that you're not pregnant, & your still experiencing this frequent urinating, it's likely something to do with your bladder. That, or your drinking too much fluids.
 

Sydian

fake your death.
33,379
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I'm a girl, here I am to bless you. Anyway, birth control is supposed to regulate your period, but there are still times where it may slip up, especially if you don't take it at regular times (say you take it at 9 AM one day, 5 PM the next, 6 AM the next, etc). I'm on it for that, but I tend to forget to take it or I don't have the time and end up taking it at the end of the day, so that gets me off track.

If you used a condom last time you had sex and you're on your birth control though, I would think you'd be okay, unless that condom broke. Any recollection if that might have been what happened? I don't have any experience in this department though, so I'm not sure if a condom breaking is something you can really feel or notice afterwards or anything like that.

Also, do you have contact with the last person you had sex with? Just in case...you know. Father deserves to know, if that's what it comes to.
 

Silais

That useless reptile
297
Posts
10
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  • Seen Jul 17, 2016
First off, I want you to keep in mind that I'm a guy, & thus will never experience it myself.

Still, what I can tell you is, if your period hasn't come within a week's worth of time, you could either get one of those home pregnancy tests, or see an Obstetrician, if possible. That's considering that you've got regular periods, ma'am.

Quite frankly, since you've been taking birth control, I've heard that they might mess around with your periods from time to time, so that's also something to keep in mind as well.

If it turns out that you're not pregnant, & your still experiencing this frequent urinating, it's likely something to do with your bladder. That, or your drinking too much fluids.

The last time I took birth control was a day before having sex with a condom. I had run out of pills and I needed my doctor to authorize the refill because it had been an entire year since I first got on the prescription. Since then, I've been having massive amounts of trouble trying to get the prescription refilled, but I haven't had sex since the last time. Birth control made my periods much lighter but it was always regular. Since it's been 2 weeks since I haven't taken it, I'm guessing it might be messed up because of the different hormones. I can't be sure though. I was planning on getting a pregnancy test the first week in October if nothing has happened.

I'm a girl, here I am to bless you. Anyway, birth control is supposed to regulate your period, but there are still times where it may slip up, especially if you don't take it at regular times (say you take it at 9 AM one day, 5 PM the next, 6 AM the next, etc). I'm on it for that, but I tend to forget to take it or I don't have the time and end up taking it at the end of the day, so that gets me off track.

If you used a condom last time you had sex and you're on your birth control though, I would think you'd be okay, unless that condom broke. Any recollection if that might have been what happened? I don't have any experience in this department though, so I'm not sure if a condom breaking is something you can really feel or notice afterwards or anything like that.

Also, do you have contact with the last person you had sex with? Just in case...you know. Father deserves to know, if that's what it comes to.

The condom didn't break, I know that. As I said above, I hadn't taken birth control that day because I had run out of pills and couldn't refill it yet. They were the green/white pills that come after the three weeks of hormonal blue pills, so I'm not sure if that had anything to do with it.

The potential father would be my ex-boyfriend of a year. I haven't told him I'm worried about it because I have no real way of knowing if I am pregnant or not yet. He's the only person I've ever slept with, so at least if I'm pregnant I'll have no worries about knowing who the father is.
 

Nathan

Blade of Justice
4,066
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11
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Dunno if I can ask this but have you thought of what you'd do if you were pregnant?
 

Sydian

fake your death.
33,379
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The condom didn't break, I know that. As I said above, I hadn't taken birth control that day because I had run out of pills and couldn't refill it yet. They were the green/white pills that come after the three weeks of hormonal blue pills, so I'm not sure if that had anything to do with it.

Medically speaking, I have no clue what the odd colored last pills do, I just remember them as the "lol you could manipulate your schedule if you take these every other day" pills cause those are what usually initiate your period starting. That being said though, I have had times where I've taken those last four and moved onto the next pack and still not started. That's not often, but it happens, so maybe that's what you're going through.
 

Silais

That useless reptile
297
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Well, my desire to urinate is gone, so I'm wondering if it was just the coffee I had early that day or dehydration. I should start my period by October 4th, so I guess we'll see.
 

Sandshrew4

Also known as Sandwich
304
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All these grown up questions XD

Ok, homecomings around the corner, and I couldn't care less. Which poses a problem. There is a girl I know who has made it so blatantly obvious that she wants to go to homecoming with me, and I don't know what to do.

Worst case scenario: Homecoming becomes a stepping stone and she wants to get in a relationship or whatever, and I do not want that.

Best case scenario: I go, eat a lot, we're friends.

Pros: Uh...there'll be food? Also I won't break her heart or whatever happens in this situation. And she's a nice person.
Cons: I don't want to dance. I don't want to take the chance of this escalating into anything more than a friendship. I don't really want to pay money to do something I don't think I want to do.

Keep in mind I'm very ignorant in this subject and haven't actually been to homecoming or anything like it before.
 
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All these grown up questions XD

Ok, homecomings around the corner, and I couldn't care less. Which poses a problem. There is a girl I know who has made it so blatantly obvious that she wants to go to homecoming with me, and I don't know what to do.

Worst case scenario: Homecoming becomes a stepping stone and she wants to get in a relationship or whatever, and I do not want that.

Best case scenario: I go, eat a lot, we're friends.

Pros: Uh...there'll be food? Also I won't break her heart or whatever happens in this situation. And she's a nice person.
Cons: I don't want to dance. I don't want to take the chance of this escalating into anything more than a friendship. I don't really want to pay money to do something I don't think I want to do.

Keep in mind I'm very ignorant in this subject and haven't actually been to homecoming or anything like it before.
Have you talked with her about your concerns? Like "Hey, I'm not looking to be in a relationship right now, but we'd be cool as friends and I'd like to go with you, but I'm worried about the cost of it all since I'm not into dancing." Just, speaking your mind to her, being honest. You could find out she only wants to go because she likes you and doesn't care about homecoming at all otherwise. Or not. Point is, you don't know.

And if, for whatever reason, talking about it makes things worse, well, that's what happens sometimes, but talking usually leaves you feeling better about things because even in a worse case scenario you won't be left with those "What ifs" and wondering what might have happened.

But don't just take my advice. Get a second opinion.
 
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Ok, homecomings around the corner, and I couldn't care less. Which poses a problem. There is a girl I know who has made it so blatantly obvious that she wants to go to homecoming with me, and I don't know what to do.

Perhaps, if you have any dateless friends, you could all go as a group? That way you have extra people to fall back on and less pressure - it also makes the situation less 'date'y and more of a friendly environment.

And if you think she is getting the wrong idea another friend can bail you out.
 
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As a person who doesn't get involved in these things, I usually need a person to drag me in. If it's something that you're not interested in, why not go for her sake? It's not like "escalation" is somehow inevitable, you can just go and see what's up, have a good time and all.
 

Sydian

fake your death.
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I think if you just explain you don't want to go as a couple-y kind of date, you'll be okay.

As someone that always avoided going to these things though, I really think you should go anyway. You may end up regretting it, as weird as that may sound! I just now started going to parties and stuff this year, and I've actually really enjoyed myself. I strongly recommend just trying to get a little out there and have fun. If it really makes you uncomfortable though, then don't bother. But it can't hurt to try. Homecoming things in high school usually aren't too big a deal anyway. But yeah.

Also, lol another ~teensy~ thingie here from me...how do I tell someone they're cute without sounding like a weirdo? :3c I'm just afraid this person is already aware I think they're the cat's pajamas and has preconceived notions about me, but I mean, I could be wrong. I just worry and assume a lot of the time and that's what makes this way harder than it should be. Plus, this person has plenty of heads turned, so I'm worried that kind of compliment wouldn't mean anything, cause I think he gets it a lot. ;( 21 and still having problems that 11 year olds have yay!
 

Nathan

Blade of Justice
4,066
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Also, lol another ~teensy~ thingie here from me...how do I tell someone they're cute without sounding like a weirdo? :3c I'm just afraid this person is already aware I think they're the cat's pajamas and has preconceived notions about me, but I mean, I could be wrong. I just worry and assume a lot of the time and that's what makes this way harder than it should be. Plus, this person has plenty of heads turned, so I'm worried that kind of compliment wouldn't mean anything, cause I think he gets it a lot. ;( 21 and still having problems that 11 year olds have yay!
If I understand well, you want to know how to tell a guy he's kinda cute without seeming obviously in love with him?
 

Sydian

fake your death.
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If I understand well, you want to know how to tell a guy he's kinda cute without seeming obviously in love with him?

Pretty much. Not in love with him, though lol. That's way too strong a phrase to use. I just really like him and would like to get to know him better, but I kind of suck at that. :D
 

Nathan

Blade of Justice
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Well in my opinion(that can be wrong), you don't really have to, especially if you're just looking to know him better. I mean he could think it's just what every girl do. If you don't know him really well, it could seem weird and random to him. But if you guys are good friends, no problem.
Anyway, avoid the use of "hot" and "sexy" with a man as that could lead to unwanted ideas if you see what I mean.
I don't have a lot of advices sadly since those things just come naturally and I suck at those kind of things. Very shy myself. I hope I've been helpful in any way.
 

Sydian

fake your death.
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Anyway, avoid the use of "hot" and "sexy" with a man as that could lead to unwanted ideas if you see what I mean.

That's why I've been using cute as an example. Obviously you save those for much later. ;) Thank you though~

Edit: Also, he knows who I am and we've had a few interactions, so it's not like I'm a totally random person that he's never heard of. So I don't think it would be too terrible to tell him he's a cutie pop. Not like that though but lol.
 
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You could just tell him "Boy, you're the cat's pajamas."

Really though, you can only control what you do. Can't really control how someone reacts to something so there's always that risk. Communication's a two-way street and all that. So, what I'm saying I guess, is which is more important, telling him or not looking weird?
 
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This isn't just a simple compliment, is it? I'm thinking if it was, it would've been done and over it, no discussion.
 

Sydian

fake your death.
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Really though, you can only control what you do. Can't really control how someone reacts to something so there's always that risk. Communication's a two-way street and all that. So, what I'm saying I guess, is which is more important, telling him or not looking weird?

I'm sure he'd take it fine, now that I think about it. He's a really nice guy, and I know that when my friend would tell him he looked nice on days he dressed up, he was really nice and appreciative and not like...a jerk or anything haha. So I guess I wouldn't look too weird.

This isn't just a simple compliment, is it? I'm thinking if it was, it would've been done and over it, no discussion.

Talking to people is never a simple task for me, so. :P

Thanks fellas!
 

Silais

That useless reptile
297
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So any of you guys in college or college graduates? I'm a double major with CJUS and PSYCH and am a sophomore in college. I'm also balancing my honors program, which is quite a bit of supplementary classes. I'm actually taking three honors classes this semester to get them out of the way ASAP. I feel a bit overwhelmed with my double major and the honors program, but I'm (suicidally) considering taking on a sociology minor too. Do you think this is a good idea? I'm already pretty swamped with classes and credits I need, but I'm really interested in sociology and I feel like it'd be good for my transcript and it would give me some more experience for the job I want to do—being a corrections counselor or someone who works in prisons/rehab centers/detention centers.

Thanks guys!
 
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