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Old April 19th, 2013, 10:16 AM
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Magnetic
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Age: 25
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This is a story I started writing years ago, and never finished it because I didn't have any motivation and lost interest. I'm hoping to get some decent feedback, and to follow through this time. I'm posting the first two chapters now, and a couple of more are already written. If you guys like it, I'll post the next and keep writing this time.

Rated PG-13: Mild violence, romance, mild romantic situations

Prologue:
Yet another day was coming to a close in the city of Chardane, Wyoming. The sun made its way down, concluding its daily cycle, and disappeared behind the mountains in the distance. As the moon took the sun’s place in the sky, lights began to appear in the form of street lamp posts and dining room chandeliers. The temperature dropped like a led balloon and the wind had a say in making things even cooler. Breath looked like cigar smoke as people made their way around, most trying to get home for the evening.

Deep in the heart of Wyoming, there existed a little town called Salsburg. Salsburg was home to just a few hundred people, but didn’t lack the modern conveniences afforded to much of the United States. There were plenty of locations to get groceries, other necessities, and there was even a mall. However, unlike much of the United States, Salsburg prided itself on the large acres of land that remained untouched. Most houses had twenty acres or more between them; kids didn’t need to go to the park to play soccer. All of the greenery culminated in multiple forests that were located all around the town.

Salsburg was one of the hardest hit areas when the Pokerus Age hit in the year of 2118. People in the 21st century dreamed that the following one would consist of flying cars and perhaps life from other planets. The car idea never completely came to pass, but a form of life did make its way into the world in the early 22nd century. A series of unusual natural disasters took place in March of 2118, starting with a number of hurricanes making landfall on different parts of the globe. Tornadoes, blizzards and tsunamis took turns in respective parts of the world, resulting in a surprisingly low amount of fatalities and destruction. However, one final magnitude 9.3 earthquake shook nearly the entire planet, splitting it slightly right at the equator. Scientists are still looking at how this resulted in pokemon inhabiting the Earth, but now people, animals of the old world, and pokemon all shared the land in peace.

Pokemon was just one part of life. People still became doctors, baseball players, and geologists. The creatures just became a new type of friend to the humans that were fortunate enough to capture them, and pokemon battling found its niche as a sport, just like football and all the other events that sold out stadiums back in the 21st century. Each year, a tournament was held to decide who was the best of the best of the pokemon battling profession.

In order to keep a pokemon, one needed to obtain a pokemon license, which worked much like a driver’s license. Permits were granted to younger adolescents, allowing for the possession of pokemon, but not actual battling. When a teenager reached seventeen years of age, he or she could apply for a pokemon license, which enabled all the privileges of owning, raising, training and battling pokemon.

In the town of Salsburg lived a teenage boy named Chris. He stood about five foot ten inches, with an average build. His brown hair sat on his forehead, a little longer than average, but ended well before his green eyes. He rarely got in trouble, at least not in enough for anybody to notice. He was the middle of three children, and one of two boys. Chris was pretty much your average teenager, from appearance to attitude. The one thing that separated Chris from the rest of his family was his love of pokemon. Nobody disliked it, but nobody quite understood what he saw in them. Many people still had not come to grips with the fact that these creatures weren’t really aliens, and that they did indeed come in peace.

Chris knew it was only a matter of time until he pursued his dream of becoming a top pokemon battler. Days away from his seventeenth birthday, Chris was ready to take the next step towards his ultimate journey.


Chapter One

On the night of his birthday, Chris took joy in getting together with friends. They sat around in Chris’ living room, reminisced about times back in middle school and talked about what the future had in store.

“College, man, that’s what it’s all about,” Erik boasted. “My older brother always tells me stories. Nothing but parties and women.”

“Ugh,” Kelly shouted from her chair. “I hope guys are a little bit more mature in college. There is a little thing called class that is pretty important there.”

“Of course class is important,” Erik said, seemingly serious, which was out of character for him. “And I’ve got lots of it! The ladies will be blown away by all of my class.”

Chris couldn’t help but laugh out loud as the two went back and forth. Erik and Kelly had dated back in freshman year, before Erik hit his two week wall. To this day it was still his longest relationship.

“I’m still hoping to get a last minute scholarship somewhere,” Will said. “I’ve been training too hard not to get a chance to play ball somewhere.”

Will was the prototypical athlete of the group. He stood a whopping six foot three at age seventeen, and was the starting point guard on his high school basketball team. Chris and Will’s friendship went way back to the days of elementary school.

“Man you know you’ll get it,” Chris assured his friend, as they slapped hands and pounded knuckles.

“What about you Chris?” Nina asked from the couch, uttering her first words of the night. “What do you want to do?”

Nina was the shortest person in the group, at just a tad over five feet tall. Her jet black hair went straight down towards her shoulder blades and her deep blue eyes made the brightest sky look dull. Despite it all, Nina had never dated anybody, and was widely considered to be one of the shyest girls around.

“Well guys,” Chris started. “I’ve been thinking about it for a while. I think I want to try to become a great pokemon battler. I’ll still go to school but maybe this could be my career. Duke runs the gym across town and he’s getting up there in the years. Maybe I’ll take over that some day.”

Pokemon gyms were located sporadically throughout the United States. Similar types of buildings existed around the world, but the United States’ were the most recognized. These gyms contained some of the best trainers out there, and defeating them was not easy. However, if one succeeded, a badge was the reward, which eventually could gain a trainer access into the annual tournament.

“Figures,” Erik chuckled. “You’ll be mastering pokemon and I’ll be mastering the women of my college.”

“And just what college are you even going to go to?” Kelly snapped. “They do have standards ya know. Unlike the women you’ll be going after.”

“Still haven’t gotten over 9th grade have you?” Erik mocked. “It’s okay, I’d be bitter about losing me too.”

“You know what – “ Kelly started.

“Guys! Enough!” Chris protested. “Why don’t you two just get a room already and get it over with. You’re obviously still in love.”

That brought a roar of laughter from everybody in the room, besides Erik and Kelly of course, who blushed a little and muttered something under their respective breaths.

The grandfather clock chimed twelve times, officially signaling the end of Chris’ birthday. Everybody got up, said their collective happy birthday’s one more time, and headed out the door.

As Chris began to lock up he heard a quick knock at the door.

“Wait,” a quiet voice called out. It was Nina’s. “Are you really serious about making pokemon your career?”

Chris opened the door and let her back inside. The two took a seat in the dining room by the front door.

“They’ve intrigued me since they broke through during the earthquake,” Chris explained. “There’s so many different species and types. It’s like a whole new kingdom of animal. I want to become a great battler but I also want to make them my friends. Some say they possess certain characteristics that make them more compatible with humans than regular pets.”

“The whole concept fascinates me too,” Nina replied. “I’m not sure that I want to become a battler, but I certainly would like them as pets, er, um, friends. Some of them are so cute.”

“Well, you’re already seventeen,” Chris noted. “Maybe we can go get our licenses together.”

“I think I’d like that,” Nina said smiling. “Let’s not wait though. Let’s go tomorrow!”

“Sounds like a plan,” Chris answered back. “Let’s meet here at 10 tomorrow morning.”

She left for good this time. Chris heard her car start up and speed away. He wondered how he would sleep with such an exciting day planned.
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Last edited by Magnetic; April 19th, 2013 at 02:05 PM.
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  #2    
Old April 19th, 2013, 01:55 PM
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Astinus
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Join Date: May 2006
Location: Connecticut, USA
Age: 27
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The backstory is interesting to this. There's a good explanation for why Pokemon suddenly appeared in the real world, and how they fit in to life there. I'm sure there's going to be more exploration of this as Chris and Nina hopefully get their licenses and head out into the world.

It's the geography of this that I'm most interested in, especially now that Pokemon are involved. You mentioned that Salsburg has a Pokemon gym, which makes me ask questions. Salsburg is a tiny town, and it has a gym, so how many gyms are there? Does each state have their own league system? Or do trainers have to travel across the entire continent in order to challenge all the necessary gyms?

I will say that it seems like all the information about how Pokemon got into this world should be in a prologue, as it's not really part of the story, and sets up some background of the world. All the parts about Chris should be in one chapter, since it reads kind of funny to mention in one chapter that Chris is going to get his license, and then begin the chapter with Chris at the same stage. Your chapters are short enough that they can be combined that way, and nothing would be lost.

Still, looking forward to more! Seeing fanfics based in the real world is interesting to me (I searched all through Wyoming, and couldn't find either one of the towns you mentioned, so did the world rearrange itself to fit in the surge of Pokemon?), so hope to see more!
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Old April 19th, 2013, 02:04 PM
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Magnetic
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Join Date: Aug 2009
Age: 25
Gender: Male
Nature: Mild
Quote:
Originally Posted by Astinus View Post
The backstory is interesting to this. There's a good explanation for why Pokemon suddenly appeared in the real world, and how they fit in to life there. I'm sure there's going to be more exploration of this as Chris and Nina hopefully get their licenses and head out into the world.

It's the geography of this that I'm most interested in, especially now that Pokemon are involved. You mentioned that Salsburg has a Pokemon gym, which makes me ask questions. Salsburg is a tiny town, and it has a gym, so how many gyms are there? Does each state have their own league system? Or do trainers have to travel across the entire continent in order to challenge all the necessary gyms?

I will say that it seems like all the information about how Pokemon got into this world should be in a prologue, as it's not really part of the story, and sets up some background of the world. All the parts about Chris should be in one chapter, since it reads kind of funny to mention in one chapter that Chris is going to get his license, and then begin the chapter with Chris at the same stage. Your chapters are short enough that they can be combined that way, and nothing would be lost.

Still, looking forward to more! Seeing fanfics based in the real world is interesting to me (I searched all through Wyoming, and couldn't find either one of the towns you mentioned, so did the world rearrange itself to fit in the surge of Pokemon?), so hope to see more!
All fair questions!

- The gyms things hasn't been fleshed out yet, nor in the next couple of chapters that are already written. My original thought was that the US was kind of a whole combined system, so yes, people have to travel to get to all the gyms. There just happens to be one in the area.

- I actually considered exactly what you said about the prologue versus chapter one, so I'll probably just change it since I completely agree.

- The towns are fictional, which in hindsight is slightly weird, since everything else is real. I guess I just wanted the story to maintain slight intimacies from the real world, so exact locations aren't necessarily a priority.
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Old April 20th, 2013, 08:30 AM
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Magnetic
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Join Date: Aug 2009
Age: 25
Gender: Male
Nature: Mild
Chapter Two

Buzzing filled Chris’ room at 9 a.m. the next morning. His alarm was annoying, but it sure worked. He brushed his teeth and got dressed. He finished pulling on his red t-shirt just as he heard his doorbell.

He ran down the stairs and opened up the door. Arriving 45 minutes early was Nina, backpack and all.

“I’m sorry, I couldn’t wait anymore,” Nina exclaimed. “I’m just too excited.”

“No worries,” Chris chuckled. “Look at you all cute with that backpack. We stopping at school first?”

“There’s no school on Saturdays,” Nina laughed nervously, unaccustomed to any sort of flirtation.

The two started on their way towards the Pokemon License Center. They walked along the edge of a river, peering over from time to time.

“Just think, soon we’ll actually be able to catch the pokemon that live in there,” Chris said.

Chris knew that technically he could have owned a pokemon since he was thirteen, but knew the temptation to break the rules and battle would be too much.

Finally they reached the large, ten story building at the end of town. They walked up to the door and Chris held it open for Nina.

“Thanks,” she smiled.

Once inside, they made their way to the line. Luckily for them, the line at the PLC was shorter than the DMV. They were to the front in less than five minutes.

“Can I help you?” the woman behind the desk questioned.

“Yeah, we’d both like to take our pokemon license tests,” Chris answered.

“Let me check your I.D’s please,” the woman said.

Chris and Nina pulled out their wallets and handed over their identifications.

“You didn’t wait long,” the woman laughed heartily, looking at Chris. “You’re both of age. Right this way please.”

The two were led into a room that looked much like a regular classroom. The written exam was the first step to getting the pokemon license. The ten people in the room were all seated and handed an exam. Chris eagerly got to work.

Question One: What would you battle a Charmander with?
A) Bulbasaur
B) Squirtle
C) Pidgey

“You’re got to be kidding me,” Chris thought to himself, circling B. “I hope they’re all this easy.”

Question Fourteen: True or False – Aerodactyl is a fossil pokemon.

“I know this one too,” Nina thought to herself happily.

After thirty minutes, the exams were handed in. Chris and Nina were passed through to the next room, indicating that their scores were high enough. They high fived as they approached the next part of the test.

“Congratulations on passing the written part,” the head instructor said to the group. “All that’s left is to demonstrate that you can handle a pokemon in battle. You will receive a random pokemon, and will battle me head to head. As long as you prove you know what you’re doing, you will all receive your pokemon licenses.”

Chris was chosen to go first. He stepped up to his side of the battle field. His heart was pounding in his chest so hard that he could feel it in his temples. This was all that was separating him from the first huge step of his journey to being a great pokemon battler.

Chris was handed a pokeball, containing his random pokemon inside. For the first time, he felt the ball in his hand and felt the power inside. An instructor gave him the thumbs up and Chris nodded.

“Let’s do this!” Chris yelled, throwing his pokeball onto the battle field.

The red and white ball spiraled towards the ground, and opened 7 inches from the surface. A red laser looking silhouette emerged before the pokemon became clear. A small, blue circle with two tiny feet and a tail popped into view as the ball flew back to Chris.

“Poliwag!” Chris exclaimed.

The instructed smiled before tossing out his ball. The circle rotated towards the ground before opening with a red silhouette. A small, green almost dog looking pokemon with a flower on its back appeared. It was a Bulbasaur.

“A grass type against my water type,” Chris said. “This is a tough match up.”

“Good catch Chris,” the instructor said. “It’s your move.”

“Alright well let’s start things out with a Mud Shot attack!” Chris commanded.

Poliwag shot a muddy stream towards Bulbasaur, and connected dead on. Bulbasaur recoiled and tried to shake the mud from its eyes.

“Very good choice Chris,” the instructor applauded. “You stayed away from Poliwag’s normal water attacks, knowing its inferior against grass.”

After a few more minutes of battling, the instructor called it to a hault.

“Good job Chris,” he smiled. “You pass.”

“Yes!” Chris yelled. He had finally accomplished his goal of obtaining his pokemon license. But he knew there was more at stake here. He had to stay and cheer on Nina.

After a few more people went, it was finally Nina’s turn. A pokeball was placed in her hand and she quietly walked out to the battlefield.

“Go ahead Nina,” the instructor said. “Show us what you’ve got.”

“Alright, here it goes,” Nina exclaimed letting loose the ball.

Her pokeball struck the ground twice before it popped open in an instant. A purple sludge monster materialized. It was a Grimer.

“Oh no,” Chris thought to himself. “A poison type is a difficult one to demonstrate knowledge with. They usually give you a water, grass or fire to work with.”

The instructor threw his ball into the arena, and out popped a bumble bee with needles for hands. Beedrill was the instructor’s pokemon.

“This should be a nice battle,” Nina said. “Beedrill is resistant to poison and Grimer is resistant to bug. We’re going to have to be creative.”

Chris’ jaw dropped.

“Very good catch,” the instructor said with a smile. “Most don’t get that.”

“Grimer, hit it with a Mud Bomb!” Nina called out.

Grimer consented and launched a ball of mud towards Beedrill. The shot hit perfectly, leaving the large bee to attempt to shake the mud off.

“Another good call Nina,” the instructor said. “You’ll make a great trainer.”

The match was called to an end and the pokeballs were taken back. Nina ran over to Chris and hugged him.

“We did it!” she exclaimed. “Nothing can stop us now.”

The two celebrated and then went back inside the building to claim their pokemon licenses.

“Smile for the camera,” the original woman that greeted them said. The two had their pictures taken for their licenses.

“I’m just glad there’s no parking part of this test,” Chris joked, sending the woman and Nina into a laugh.

The two received their licenses and headed for the exit. Chris gripped his in his hand tightly, knowing what he had just accomplished. Nina slipped hers into her wallet, smiling at her own picture.
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Old April 22nd, 2013, 09:57 AM
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Magnetic
Underground Trainer
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Age: 25
Gender: Male
Nature: Mild
This is the last full chapter that I have written already. After this, there's only a partially constructed chapter and that's the end of the progress I made years ago. Please let me know if you guys have interest in me continuing this story, or I'm not sure I'll end up having the motivation. The main character here is based on my pokemon interests, though nothing else about the character is. Thanks for reading.

Chapter Three

“First things first,” Nina said. “We need to buy some pokeballs so that we’re ready when the moment comes.”

In a stroke of marketing genius, a pokemon shop was recently set up right next to the Pokemon License Center. Sales had never been higher.

Chris and Nina walked up to the small shop, and the automatic doors parted in front of them. They strolled up to the counter and asked for six pokeballs each. The license said that no trainer may carry more than six pokemon with them at a time, and the seventh pokemon caught would be sent automatically to each town’s respective pokemon professor. Pokemon could be recalled with the help of a computer located sporadically throughout the city.

“You know what, give me a Milky Way bar too,” Chris said, feeling hungry after the day’s events.

Chris and Nina received their six pokeballs each and left the store. Once they got outside, Nina was the first to speak.

“The sky is the limit,” she said. “We can officially catch and train pokemon. Let’s go run around looking for some!”

“I’ve always sort of had a plan,” Chris explained. “I’m just as excited as you are, but I’ve always had my dream team of favorites. I know if I feel a special connection with the pokemon I capture, we will be unbeatable. I have a map with the locations of all the pokemon in the area. The first one I want to go after is a bit of a trip.”

“Chris, this was your doing,” Nina replied. “Without your inspiration, I wouldn’t be here. I’ll follow you.”

The two walked back to Chris’ house and got in his car. He turned his key in the ignition, and the car shook as the engine turned on. Green Day’s last CD, put out in the band’s 80’s, started playing in the background.

“What’s with the oldies?” Nina asked.

“Sorry,” Chris said. “My grandparents must have gone for a ride recently.”

The two set off for a destination that only Chris knew. They got on the speedway where the speed limit had recently been raised to 160 miles per hour.

“Finally they’re getting with the picture,” Chris said. “Can you believe we used to have to drive 150 miles per hour? I don’t know how we got anywhere.”

“So where are we going Chris?” Nina asked, somewhat tentatively.

“Unfortunately, with such a big planet, the pokemon are so spread out. If there is any in particular that you want to catch, you really have to make a trip. In Salsburg, there are only 20 types of pokemon, and there’s nearly 700 known.”

“Which are you planning on going after?” Nina questioned him.

“I’ve been thinking about this moment for years and years,” Chris said with a grin. “The one rule that I have is that I only want first evolution pokemon. They’ll evolve eventually, and it’ll be from our determined training.”

“You have to be careful Chris,” Nina cautioned. “Since they don’t give out free starter pokemon anymore, your first capture is extremely difficult. I mean, pokemon seem to understand human language and their emotions, but if you get one that doesn’t understand, you may get hurt.”

“What you say is true,” Chris admitted. “I’m prepared for anything to happen. It’s all part of the journey.”

The two sat in silence with only the sound of the car tearing through the wind. Finally, after driving for hours, Chris got off at an exit and parked his car at the side of a mountain.

“Are we here?” Nina asked.

Chris only smiled, looking up at the large mountain. The two walked around the mountain until an opening appeared at the base.

“This way!” Chris yelled, as he grabbed Nina by the hand and ran inside the mountain.

As they made their way inside, Chris turned on a lantern that he had brought along. All of a sudden, a bat with no eyes appeared on the wall.

“A Zubat?” Nina asked, surprised.

“No,” Chris laughed. “I mean nothing against Zubat here, but that’s not what I’m after.”

The two proceeded a little further when a rock covered dog looking creature wandered out.

“It’s an Aron!” Nina exclaimed. “If this isn’t what you want Chris, I think I may have to try to capture it.”

“It’s all yours,” Chris replied with a smile.

Nina approached the Aron with nerves building. Her hands were shaking as she finally came within view of the Aron. It saw her but didn’t budge.

“Aron!” she called out to it. “Do not fear me. I come to you as a friend. I want you to be my first pokemon. We can make a great team. Give me a sign if you want to be my pokemon.”

The Aron stayed stagnant at first. After a few seconds it began to approach Nina. Her legs were shaking as the Aron came up next to her. It sniffed her shoes and up to her shin. Finally, it let out a cheerful cry and jumped up into her arms. Nina hugged the Aron and finally started to calm down.

“Let’s try out your pokeball,” Nina said. She tossed the pokeball at Aron. It glowed and briefly shook before settling down. Aron was officially hers.

“This is so cool!” Nina exclaimed. “I have my very own pokemon. I’m so glad we came here. Aron is the best.”

“I’m very happy for you Nina,” Chris said coolly. “Now let’s keep going.”

The two continued to walk into the mountain. After turning the corner, a boulder with two arms popped out of nowhere. The Geodude startled both Chris and Nina.

“Should one of us try to catch it?” Nina asked, visibly frightened.

“You should never catch a pokemon unless you want it,” Chris replied, his own hands trembling a little. “Hopefully it’ll pass us by.”

But the Geodude had other plans. It went towards the ground and tossed some rocks at the two. They started to run away but ended up against a wall. Suddenly, Nina stepped forward.

“Aron, go!” Nina yelled, tossing her pokeball.

The ball spiraled to the ground and popped open. Aron jumped out and stared down the Geodude.

“Aron, use your headbutt!” Nina commanded.

With a sharp cry, Aron lunged at the Geodude, connecting with him square in the face. The stunned Geodude fled instantly.

“Aron that was great!” Nina shouted, running to embrace her friend. “You were awesome.” The Aron let out a joyful cry.

“I guess that’s why they said to be careful,” Chris said. “I hope we find what I’m looking for soon.”

“You still haven’t told me what you’re going after,” Nina realized.

“According to my map, it should be right around the corner,” Chris replied.

Chris and Nina went through another corner and found themselves in a huge room. However, Chris’ lantern wasn’t the only illumination lighting up the room. Electric charges were appearing from all corners of the room.

“Here they are,” Chris said, with excitement in his voice.

“Electric types in a mountain?” Nina asked, confused.

Suddenly, dozens of floating one eyed circles with a magnet on both sides of its face appeared. It was Magnemite, and the one that Chris had come for. He knew this was the moment.

“Be careful Chris,” Nina pleaded. “These electric shocks are dangerous.”

“Magnemite, hear me,” Chris began. “I am a new trainer. I have no pokemon. For years I have dreamed of beginning my pokemon journey to become the best and it’s always been my plan to start with a Magnemite. We will be battle partners but we will also be friends. Please, hear me now. Which one of you will join me on my journey?”

After a momentary pause, the Magnemite began to stir. They seemed to be communicating with one another over the situation at hand. Metallic cries could be heard from all over the group. Finally, the Magnemite’s stopped looking at each other and looked down at Chris. Chris tried to control his nerves as he awaited the Magnemite’s next move.

Just as Chris was beginning to worry that his dream of owning a Magnemite was not going to be realized, one odd looking Magnemite descended from the left side of the group. Chris could barely contain himself as the Magnemite, all gray with darker gray magnets came into close range. Finally, the shiny Magnemite zoomed into his arms, and looked at him in joy. Chris embraced his new friend as his dream officially came true. Perhaps the Magnemite clan had realized Chris’ connection with the creature and chosen out a special one for his journey.

“We’re going to make a great team Magnemite,” Chris told the electric pokemon. “Let’s try out your pokeball, but you won’t be staying in it long.”

Chris touched the pokeball to Magnemite, and the ball barely started to glow and shake before it stopped. Magnemite was officially Chris’ pokemon, and he couldn’t be happier.

“Alright Mags, come on out,” Chris said as he tossed his pokeball onto the ground. Magnemite popped out and floated to Chris’ side.

“I’m so happy for you,” Nina said. “Is Mags its nickname?”

“Yes,” Chris replied. “It feels right. Now let’s get out of this mountain before something else attacks!”
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Old April 22nd, 2013, 11:46 AM
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Astinus
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Join Date: May 2006
Location: Connecticut, USA
Age: 27
Gender: Male
Seems rather dangerous to send out new trainers without any Pokemon to protect them. Things worked out well for Chris and Nina, but what if another trainer isn't that lucky?

I have to say that there really wasn't much to grab me these past two chapters. Nina and Chris easily passed their license tests, then were able to travel easily to their destination, and easily catch their first Pokemon. There's not much of a struggle for these characters, nothing that will make the reader wonder if they'll make it out in the world because the beginning (when they have nothing to rely on) was so easy for them.

I like the story of this world. Almost wondering how this story would look if you rewrote it to your current abilities instead of the ones you had years ago. That would be interesting to see, especially if you still wanting to explore it yourself.
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