< >
Hello, guest! Please log in or register.

The PokéCommunity

Go Back     The PokéCommunity Forums > Off-Topic Discussions > The Round Table Help & Advice Thread

Notices

The Round Table Have a seat at the Round Table for in-depth discussions, extended or serious conversations, and current events. From world news to talks on life, growing up, relationships, and issues in society, this is the place to be. Come be a knight.

Reply Post Reply
 
Thread Tools
  #401    
Old 3 Weeks Ago (2:45 PM).
Universe's Avatar
Universe Universe is offline
Pink ModeratorCS
 
Join Date: Oct 2013
Nature: Quirky
Posts: 1,958
This topic's pretty deep so I'll put it here instead.
Reply With Quote

Relevant Advertising!

  #402    
Old 3 Weeks Ago (4:32 PM).
Sun's Avatar
Sun Sun is offline
The Story of The Two Gallade
Silver Tier
 
Join Date: Sep 2013
Gender: Male
Nature: Hasty
Posts: 3,842
Quote:
Originally Posted by Master Snowy View Post
snip
Who ever tells you to not fall in love is rather foolish, that's a feeling that gets in; not something you can control (similar too, when a person falls out of love).

Back to the main topic, this is what I'm saying: If a person loves you, he/she should love you regardless the financial condition, hair and skin color, height, weight, your past and so on.

If this person leaves you because of your past, that person isn't worth your time; move on.

So don't be afraid on being honest, hiding or lying can be destructive when it comes to relationship, particularly lying.

They watch each other's back and protect one and another's heart and soul, even if it means costing everything.
Reply With Quote
  #403    
Old 3 Weeks Ago (9:14 PM).
Psychic's Avatar
Psychic Psychic is offline
Really and truly
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Gender: Female
Nature: Bold
Posts: 273
Quote:
Originally Posted by Master Snowy View Post
What if I marry a good guy who will free me from all this trauma?

My dad was abusive. So, I am traumatised by the sight of a guy at times and I am a girl. I am damn scared of men. So, I excercise and keep myself very strong. -This enables me to at least have normal conversations with men.

Now, what if I were to fall in love with a guy who comes from a clean and a high class society that knows no violence. He is peaceful and innocent.

Can I really make it with this guy or will my trauma always haunt me?
...
It's just sad isn't it- if I lose a good guy simply because I'm too traumatised in life?

This just haunts me because I do want to have a family and stuff... But, I'm so scared because my panic attacks get very real and ruin everything.

Medicine and doctors cannot help either.
It sounds like the crux of your question is: "Will I be able to have a normal life in spite of my trauma?"

The answer isn't an easy one. Yes, you could go on to live a happy, "normal" life - but only if you are able to overcome your trauma, and that requires help.

It sounds like what happened to you had a very deep impact on you, who you are and the way you act. That is awful, and I am so sorry to hear that. It's hard to deal with that kind of stuff on your own. Luckily, there are professionals out there who are trained in helping people just like you, and with their guidance you can overcome your trauma. If you don't resolve this with the help of a counsellor or therapist with the right knowledge and experience, you won't know how to get better. I know it sounds scary, but you've survived so well for this long, and having that extra help will go a long way in the road to recovery.

It sounds like you're thinking a lot about men and love, and it's great that you want to have a healthy relationship, but remember that romance isn't the be-all-end-all; there are other things in life you should focus on. Plus, as Sun said, if anyone stops loving you just because of what you've endured, they are not a good person you should spend time with!

I hope you can find a mental health professional who can help you through this, because it's just too much to try and deal with on your own.

~Psychic
Latest Fan Fic:
Sharing Secrets - Aarune’s passion for Secret Bases started from a young age, and it just never stopped growing


Click the Bulbasaur cupcake to check out my nerdy desserts thread!
Reply With Quote
  #404    
Old 3 Weeks Ago (9:45 PM).
Kaiyu Kaiyu is offline
On a very long hiatus
Crystal TierCS
 
Join Date: Nov 2015
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,771
I have this obstacle that's in front of me and I don't know how to overcome it. I should be more specific so you know what I mean right...? In my elementary to middle school years I was always picked on and bullied because I was "different" compared to others. Because of this I have lost the ability to trust people. I distant myself from others because I don't want to get close to them. The problem is I want to. I never had an actual real life friend. I just have an online friend. I have only one question...

My question is: "Is it possible to re-learn how to trust people? If there is a way what's the first step that I have to take?"
Reply With Quote
  #405    
Old 3 Weeks Ago (10:37 PM). Edited 3 Weeks Ago by Master Snowy.
Master Snowy's Avatar
Master Snowy Master Snowy is offline
The Bliss Lender
 
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Pokemon world
Nature: Brave
Posts: 222
Rather than learning to trust others first, we must trust our own capabilities.

Why are you so afraid to trust others? Example: if you had to trust someone to keep your 100$, you probably won't do it. But, if you trust in your own self about the 100$ and say that it is hard to earn money, but I can fight for it or at least, earn it back. Then, don't fear.

^That example could be wrong in many ways. But, I'm trying to give an instance of what I mean.

Simply trust people, not because they are saints, but because you are strong enough to. Say what's to lose? And you'll get there. (Unless it is something too important or complicated to trust someone with. Then, stay away and take your time)

This is something that works for me and it is the only thing I could think of. So, I hope this helps you, Kyo! : )

Back to my own topic:

@Universe: Thank you for moving my topic!

@Sun: If I was lost earlier, your answer was very reassuring to read. And it also gave me a few ideas I could try. So, thank you so very much, Sun!

@Psychic: Wow, that was such a mature, well thought out and composed answer! 0.0 Thank you SO very much, Psychic! I needed to read something mature like this for my situation. It is very reassuring and I have a few ideas on mind that I can try out in order to make this situation better now. So, thank you.. : )

Extra Note:

The problem comes in because there are no therapists, etc in my city, it is under-developed. So, I have to wait till I have grown up and have had enough money to move out and find a good therapist for myself.

I tried online therapy once, but it didn't work out well. But no problem there. I'll think of something. So meh, that's ok! : p I've got it from here, hopefully.

And thank you Soo very much to ALL of you guys! I just LOVE this place! X) :D :D



Relieve the World of poverty

Reply With Quote
  #406    
Old 3 Weeks Ago (11:19 PM).
Kaiyu Kaiyu is offline
On a very long hiatus
Crystal TierCS
 
Join Date: Nov 2015
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,771
Quote:
Originally Posted by Master Snowy View Post
Rather than learning to trust others first, we must trust our own capabilities.

Why are you so afraid to trust others? Example: if you had to trust someone to keep your 100$, you probably won't do it. But, if you trust in your own self about the 100$ and say that it is hard to earn money, but I can fight for it or at least, earn it back. Then, don't fear.

^That example could be wrong in many ways. But, I'm trying to give an instance of what I mean.

Simply trust people, not because they are saints, but because you are strong enough to. Say what's to lose? And you'll get there. (Unless it is something too important or complicated to trust someone with. Then, stay away and take your time)

This is something that works for me and it is the only thing I could think of. So, I hope this helps you, Kyo! : )
Thank you for trying Snowy. I really appreciate it. Why am I afraid with trusting people? It's because I have minor polio. I'm not confined to a wheelchair if that's what you were thinking. I'm able to walk but I can't walk long distances. When I walk I limp a little and I get laughed at and others try to imitate me. I can fall very easily because I have very poor balance and they use that to their advantage. I've broken both arms and legs in school twice. My life before reaching high school was nothing but pain and torture. It literally scarred and shattered me. The damage that was done to me has never healed. This is why I cannot trust anyone. If you were to put yourself in my shoes then you would know how hard my life is.
Reply With Quote
  #407    
Old 3 Weeks Ago (12:02 AM).
Psychic's Avatar
Psychic Psychic is offline
Really and truly
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Gender: Female
Nature: Bold
Posts: 273
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kaiyu View Post
I have this obstacle that's in front of me and I don't know how to overcome it. I should be more specific so you know what I mean right...? In my elementary to middle school years I was always picked on and bullied because I was "different" compared to others. Because of this I have lost the ability to trust people. I distant myself from others because I don't want to get close to them. The problem is I want to. I never had an actual real life friend. I just have an online friend. I have only one question...

My question is: "Is it possible to re-learn how to trust people? If there is a way what's the first step that I have to take?"
Having polio, even if it's minor, must be really hard, and I'm sorry to hear that it's been a struggle for you. It sounds like you're still in high school, so I just want to say first that kids and teens can be absolutely terrible when it comes to bullying. There definitely should have been teachers disciplining anyone who did that, and more education, since most kids don't understand what it's like to live with polio.

Learning to trust people ca be very hard, especially when you're so used to getting hurt. The important thing about trust is that it doesn't always come easily, and that's normal. You shouldn't trust every person you meet with big things 100% of the time. Start with little things. Find an extra-curricular activity or class outside of school, and slowly get to know people there. Sharing small, personal details about ourselves to other people is a little way of showing and building trust. Start small, then work your way up. It's okay if you only have an online friend - some of my best friends in high school were internet friends! But I also did theatre in high school, which helped me meet people, and I made a lot of great friends because of it who I trust deeply to this day. :>


Quote:
Originally Posted by Master Snowy View Post
@Psychic: Wow, that was such a mature, well thought out and composed answer! 0.0 Thank you SO very much, Psychic! I needed to read something mature like this for my situation. It is very reassuring and I have a few ideas on mind that I can try out in order to make this situation better now. So, thank you.. : )

Extra Note:

The problem comes in because there are no therapists, etc in my city, it is under-developed. So, I have to wait till I have grown up and have had enough money to move out and find a good therapist for myself.

I tried online therapy once, but it didn't work out well. But no problem there. I'll think of something. So meh, that's ok! : p I've got it from here, hopefully.

And thank you Soo very much to ALL of you guys! I just LOVE this place! X) :D :D :)
You're welcome! I'm not an expert, but I am fairly knowledgeable about this stuff. Definitely try out your ideas!

Wow, having no therapists in your city makes things a lot harder. Are you in school? Many schools have guidance counsellors who can help you out, and may even have resources to help you reach other professionals. You can also try asking at your local community centre or place of worship (church/synagogue/mosque). I hope you can find something until you can move out and find your own therapist, even if it's just online or group counselling.

~Psychic
Latest Fan Fic:
Sharing Secrets - Aarune’s passion for Secret Bases started from a young age, and it just never stopped growing


Click the Bulbasaur cupcake to check out my nerdy desserts thread!
Reply With Quote
  #408    
Old 3 Weeks Ago (12:18 AM).
gimmepie's Avatar
gimmepie gimmepie is offline
ModeratorCS
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Australia
Age: 20
Gender: Male
Nature: Mild
Posts: 8,140
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kaiyu View Post
Thank you for trying Snowy. I really appreciate it. Why am I afraid with trusting people? It's because I have minor polio. I'm not confined to a wheelchair if that's what you were thinking. I'm able to walk but I can't walk long distances. When I walk I limp a little and I get laughed at and others try to imitate me. I can fall very easily because I have very poor balance and they use that to their advantage. I've broken both arms and legs in school twice. My life before reaching high school was nothing but pain and torture. It literally scarred and shattered me. The damage that was done to me has never healed. This is why I cannot trust anyone. If you were to put yourself in my shoes then you would know how hard my life is.
Generally speaking there's a lot of terrible people in the world but that doesn't mean everyone is going to be that way. If you want to start having trusting relationships with people easier, you're going to need to make the conscious choice to put yourself out there so you can experience first hand that not everyone is like those that mistreated you.

Being open about your polio is a good idea as well. People tend to be more accepting of difference when they understand it and you don't make it taboo.

Reply With Quote
  #409    
Old 3 Weeks Ago (2:11 AM).
curiousnathan's Avatar
curiousnathan curiousnathan is online now
what do i put here again?
ModeratorCSPokéCommunity Daily Staff
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Australia
Gender: Male
Nature: Adamant
Posts: 7,466
This will sound so cliche but it's something that I live by. It's totally okay to be different. We all have our quirks and faults but at the end of the day, if you put yourself out there I guarantee you, you will find someone who really likes you for who you are. Such a stigma is placed on having differences, when really more of us just need to embrace them. It's what makes us interesting; mysterious.

I don't trust many people if any at all, but that doesn't mean I can't make friends or confide in people. I just know who to confide to and about what. I think it's important that you first trust in yourself and embrace who you are and then put yourself out there and meet new people. It sounds easier than it is I know, but if you're persistent, confident, and always remember that being different isn't something to be ashamed of, you'll find yourself in a much happier and more productive situation.

Pity those who are all the same. Not those who choose to embrace their quirks.
mod| pair
Reply With Quote
  #410    
Old 3 Weeks Ago (3:33 AM). Edited 3 Weeks Ago by Master Snowy.
Master Snowy's Avatar
Master Snowy Master Snowy is offline
The Bliss Lender
 
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Pokemon world
Nature: Brave
Posts: 222
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kaiyu View Post
Thank you for trying Snowy. I really appreciate it. Why am I afraid with trusting people? It's because I have minor polio. I'm not confined to a wheelchair if that's what you were thinking. I'm able to walk but I can't walk long distances. When I walk I limp a little and I get laughed at and others try to imitate me. I can fall very easily because I have very poor balance and they use that to their advantage. I've broken both arms and legs in school twice. My life before reaching high school was nothing but pain and torture. It literally scarred and shattered me. The damage that was done to me has never healed. This is why I cannot trust anyone. If you were to put yourself in my shoes then you would know how hard my life is.
What insensitive FREAKS do you live with, KYO? D:< That is COMPLETELY intolerable! It's unacceptable.. I can't explain it!

Especially in 'school' too? Weren't there teachers to fine the bullies?

We have very strict laws at schools and colleges in my place. So, bullies don't normally get away with things.

And I've been in your shoes. So, I know what you mean. But, my school had thoroughly safe-guarded me from exterior hardships.

(I won't tell you in what way I'm similar to you because, I can be reserved about these things at times. But, just understand that I know what you mean and I can feel it.)

Also, stay strong..

You're not one of those low-lives.

You are exalted and superior in terms of knowing what life can really be.

You have to walk out there with a big chest and do what you're there for and follow your dreams!

Ignore the hatred and don't get side-tracked is all I have to say.

Of all the people, you should be the last to feel so sensitive about your condition.

Go out there and show who's boss!

And I wish I was there with you so we could both show people who's boss. We could have been great real-life friends...

But, I think you can stand on your own feet and not need my shoulder too. But, I'm still always right here if you ever need me! : )

Quote:
Originally Posted by Psychic
You're welcome! I'm not an expert, but I am fairly knowledgeable about this stuff. Definitely try out your ideas!

Wow, having no therapists in your city makes things a lot harder. Are you in school? Many schools have guidance counsellors who can help you out, and may even have resources to help you reach other professionals. You can also try asking at your local community centre or place of worship (church/synagogue/mosque). I hope you can find something until you can move out and find your own therapist, even if it's just online or group counselling.

~Psychic
Once again, thank you very much, Psychic. Your words of concern just make my day! : )

And yeah, my city is like that.. But hey, I think I can get around it now...

I was just searching for a clue and was feeling overwhelmed, but coming to this thread helped me rewire a lot of things. ^.^



Relieve the World of poverty

Reply With Quote
  #411    
Old 3 Weeks Ago (7:09 AM). Edited 3 Weeks Ago by Kaiyu.
Kaiyu Kaiyu is offline
On a very long hiatus
Crystal TierCS
 
Join Date: Nov 2015
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,771
Thanks again Snowy. I don't have answers to your questions. Well just for the "insensitive freaks" and "in school" part. Nobody in school bothered to help me. They just stood there, watched me and laughed. The sound of my crying alerted nearby teachers. If I didn't cry the teachers wouldn't have come. I'll try my best to do that. It's not going to be easy though.

Edit: @Psychic & gimmepie: You both ninja'd me lol. I didn't see your posts. Anyway thanks to the both of you for replying. I will try my best to keep them in mind.
Reply With Quote
  #412    
Old 2 Weeks Ago (7:20 PM).
MiracleGhost47's Avatar
MiracleGhost47 MiracleGhost47 is offline
 
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: The Spirit World
Gender: Male
Nature: Relaxed
Posts: 228
I would like an explanation for the definition of the "4/25" rule.
MiracleGhost47
Reply With Quote
  #413    
Old 2 Weeks Ago (8:03 PM).
gimmepie's Avatar
gimmepie gimmepie is offline
ModeratorCS
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Australia
Age: 20
Gender: Male
Nature: Mild
Posts: 8,140
Quote:
Originally Posted by MiracleGhost47 View Post
I would like an explanation for the definition of the "4/25" rule.
You can find all of PCs forum-wide rules here. I recommend that you look into them as well as sectional rules. In the future please direct any questions about the website and its rules to the Community Questions and Feedback forum found near the top of the main index page. This thread is for asking for help and advice in relation to events outside of PC, not for queries about the rules.

Reply With Quote
  #414    
Old 2 Weeks Ago (8:28 PM). Edited 2 Weeks Ago by MiracleGhost47.
MiracleGhost47's Avatar
MiracleGhost47 MiracleGhost47 is offline
 
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: The Spirit World
Gender: Male
Nature: Relaxed
Posts: 228
Quote:
Originally Posted by gimmepie View Post
You can find all of PCs forum-wide rules here. I recommend that you look into them as well as sectional rules. In the future please direct any questions about the website and its rules to the Community Questions and Feedback forum found near the top of the main index page. This thread is for asking for help and advice in relation to events outside of PC, not for queries about the rules.
I would imagine it being a little more convenient for this thread being able to answer my question, but it suppose I doesn't matter. I will post my question there instead. I have also evaluated the rules, of course. I'm not sure why you assume I haven't. Whatever the case, no big deal. I'll that in mind.
MiracleGhost47
Reply With Quote
  #415    
Old 2 Weeks Ago (10:35 AM).
TheKeybashGirl's Avatar
TheKeybashGirl TheKeybashGirl is offline
 
Join Date: Jan 2016
Gender: Female
Posts: 2
Hi there...

I really need help.
Reply With Quote
  #416    
Old 2 Weeks Ago (12:06 PM).
Nah's Avatar
Nah Nah is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: over there
Age: 23
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,392
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheKeybashGirl View Post
Hi there...

I really need help.
Help with what though? We can't begin to help you if we don't know what the problem is.
My Breeding Shop (open) | PC's Intro to Competitive Battling
Round Table: The PCNation | PCL Clan: Black Magic
Reply With Quote
  #417    
Old 2 Weeks Ago (2:28 PM).
Kura's Avatar
Kura Kura is offline
twitter.com/kuraberrym
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Horsham, UK (orig. Toronto, Canada)
Age: 26
Gender: Female
Nature: Serious
Posts: 10,980
Quote:
Originally Posted by Master Snowy View Post
What insensitive FREAKS do you live with, KYO? D:< That is COMPLETELY intolerable! It's unacceptable.. I can't explain it!

Especially in 'school' too? Weren't there teachers to fine the bullies?

We have very strict laws at schools and colleges in my place. So, bullies don't normally get away with things.

And I've been in your shoes. So, I know what you mean. But, my school had thoroughly safe-guarded me from exterior hardships.

(I won't tell you in what way I'm similar to you because, I can be reserved about these things at times. But, just understand that I know what you mean and I can feel it.)

Also, stay strong..

You're not one of those low-lives.

You are exalted and superior in terms of knowing what life can really be.

You have to walk out there with a big chest and do what you're there for and follow your dreams!

Ignore the hatred and don't get side-tracked is all I have to say.

Of all the people, you should be the last to feel so sensitive about your condition.

Go out there and show who's boss!

And I wish I was there with you so we could both show people who's boss. We could have been great real-life friends...

But, I think you can stand on your own feet and not need my shoulder too. But, I'm still always right here if you ever need me! : )



Once again, thank you very much, Psychic. Your words of concern just make my day! : )

And yeah, my city is like that.. But hey, I think I can get around it now... :)

I was just searching for a clue and was feeling overwhelmed, but coming to this thread helped me rewire a lot of things. ^.^
How old are you and do you have healthcare insurance or benefits at work? I'm not sure of your whole situation but I know there are some free mental health helplines that you can call to help you with this, but ideally you can find a therapist to help you with this specifically and can cater their sessions to you to really help with these issues. Often I find that school counsellors aren't necessarily trained well enough to deal with psychological disorders that are this deep. And sometimes some people don't gel well with their therapist and have to just do a little bit of searching around until they find one that's right for them.

You should look into what "CBT" and "Psychodynamic" therapies are to see if they might appeal to you. I think this might be a good route for you.
~Yuugiou Fan~
~Kamen Rider Fan~
♡(´・ω・`)LOVE! ☆
Reply With Quote
  #418    
Old 1 Week Ago (3:19 PM).
MiracleGhost47's Avatar
MiracleGhost47 MiracleGhost47 is offline
 
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: The Spirit World
Gender: Male
Nature: Relaxed
Posts: 228
Where's the best place to go to buy games? Should I order online instead?
MiracleGhost47
Reply With Quote
  #419    
Old 1 Week Ago (4:48 PM).
Nah's Avatar
Nah Nah is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: over there
Age: 23
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,392
Quote:
Originally Posted by MiracleGhost47 View Post
Where's the best place to go to buy games? Should I order online instead?
The Video Games section would far and away be the better place to ask this question, so ask there instead. This thread is more for substantial irl issues.
My Breeding Shop (open) | PC's Intro to Competitive Battling
Round Table: The PCNation | PCL Clan: Black Magic
Reply With Quote
  #420    
Old 1 Week Ago (5:55 PM). Edited 3 Days Ago by MiracleGhost47.
MiracleGhost47's Avatar
MiracleGhost47 MiracleGhost47 is offline
 
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: The Spirit World
Gender: Male
Nature: Relaxed
Posts: 228
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nah View Post
The Video Games section would far and away be the better place to ask this question, so ask there instead. This thread is more for substantial irl issues.
Oh yeah I forgot about that place.
MiracleGhost47
Reply With Quote
Reply Post Reply
Quick Reply

Sponsored Links
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Minimum Characters Per Post: 25

Forum Jump


  All times are GMT -8. The time now is 7:47 AM.


Contact Us Archive Privacy Statement Terms of Service Top