Cheating

In a relationship I mean. Is there ever a situation where cheating is acceptable/understandable? Have you cheated on, been cheated on, or been with someone who cheated on a person?

Curious to hear what people think :p

I've been cheated on before and it hurts a lot. It's never acceptable imo. Often times in relationships people will cheat because the other person isn't there for them or maybe they have lost interest. Just end the relationship and then hook up with someone else.

It is never acceptable.

I'd say there are times when it's acceptable. For example, someone being stuck in an abusive or unhealthy relationship they're completely unable to escape from cheating on their abusive partner? I don't see how that's a problem. Like, if they're in a relationship they can't leave and don't want to be in, I see nothing wrong with cheating in that situation. Or a situation along those lines.

Personally I've been cheated on by 4 of my 7 partners, possibly more that I don't know about, and it's the primary cause of my paranoia. I have extreme seperation anxiety as a result of it that impacts a lot of my relationship now. None of them had a good reason, though.

Never been cheated on, however, my first ex accused me of cheating on him because I was hanging out with a group of friends that are guys. He was a jealous prick. :( One of the big reasons why we broke up.

It's not acceptable to cheat on your partner though. It's unforgivable.

i'm not naive enough to put out a blanket statement on this subject.

i've been cheated on and while i gladly took part in glorious revenge on him due to his scenario not being acceptable, i understand that there will be situations where cheating on a person will at the very least be understandable, if not acceptable.

there are many kinds of unhappiness, many kinds of selfishness. saying that cheating is universally unacceptable is naive.

edit: note that this is coming from the prerequisite that at least one person in the relationship is unaware or otherwise not supportive of the cheating

Those in a closed, monogamous relationship who do not agree upon seeing other people should not do so without their partners' consent. It's a serious breach of trust and is really disrespectful. Monogamy isn't for everyone, and sometimes opening up a relationship can be really awesome as long as all parties are aware of and consent to what happens. (Cheating is still possible within an open relationship, after all!)

My first relationship was pretty dubious in terms of cheating. I took it in stride due to the nature of it. Looking back, I should have actually given him some degree of flack instead of reacting the way I did.

~Psychic

I've never been in a relationship but I have cuckold fantasies so it wouldn't bother me even if I were cheated on. ; )

Speaking from a monogamous standpoint though. If for whatever reason you consider your partner to be inadequate then you could try discussing the issue with them assuming it's something they can work on. Or you could break up with them before moving on to someone else. Cheating is selfish and hurtful in most cases. Depending on the person being cheated on it can also be dangerous for yourself and the third party involved if they ever find out. Unless you're stuck in an abusive relationship I can't think of a good excuse to betray your partner's trust.

Ignoring open relationships etc and going for STRICTLY TRADITIONAL RELATIONSHIPS

It's a form of deception which isn't good to have in a relationship I suppose. Can people learn from their mistakes/make up for cheating? I can say yes from a situation I was quite involved in. In most cases I suppose I'd condemn it though I'd probably defend friends for murder, never mind cheating.

Cheating is terrible, because it implies a betrayal of a deep, intimate trust. If your current partner is so non-exciting you can happily consider cheating on them, you should probably talk things through and end the relationship. And if your old partner is still exciting and you just want an "adventure", you should wonder whether the risk of hurting them and ruining your relationship is worth it.

When, over a year ago, I fell in love (hard) with a new person, I ended my old relationship off. It was painful, but it would have been much worse if I hadn't. She didn't deserve that.

I guess I'm weird in that I don't really think it's that big a deal if it isn't a long-term thing. My ex had a one-night stand with someone else and honestly I wasn't massively bothered. I mean don't get me wrong I was not at all pleased about it, but it wasn't a world-ending issue or something I'd have considered breaking up with her over. Honestly I felt like it was a much lesser deal than people make it out to be and I felt like I should have cared more, haha. I dunno if that'd even be considered "cheating" in the way that most of you guys are thinking about it. Also fwiw I've never done this. I just don't think it's a massive deal.

If it's a longer-term thing then fuck that, though. If it's in a normal, supposedly healthy (key point here) relationship then that's not okay.

Psychic said:

Cheating is still possible within an open relationship, after all!

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I'm curious here since I've never been in an open relationship - how? This is gonna sound terrible but I've always seen an open relationship as a closed one where cheating is basically allowed. Saying "we're together but you can sleep with other people" is, in my mind, essentially permitting cheating. I'm obviously not exactly right there but... yeah, could you explain this?

i think a lot more about the potential health risk that comes with sexual cheating as emotional stuff is one thing but stds are a totally different story

Cheating is wrong in any circumstance. There is nothing more to it.

I have had 9 boyfriends in my entire life, 8 of them have cheated on me.

Not acceptable in my opinion. I expect that intimacy and sex to be reserved only for me and it'd be a huge betrayal of trust if my partner cheated. I probably wouldn't want to speak with them again much less date them, as much as my forgiving personality would try telling me otherwise.

each kind of cheating is circumstantial. one of the things that many people don't seem to understand is that there's a difference between love and lust. it's possible that someone can be in love with the one their in a relationship with, but also be more turned on by girlfriend/boyfriends sibling. when that type of thing occurs it tends to be better for the one who loves one sibling & lusts after the other to get the hell out of that relationship before temptation takes its hold & a very stupid mistake occurs or if the mistake was made to still get out of there and to not ever make that mistake again.
then there comes the times when someone is in a relationship with someone and reveals that they where dating someone else at the same time & the other person that they where dating knew about it & they both wanted it to become a 3 way relationship. at that point your options are to either open pandora's box or get the hell out. one of the main reason's why those types of relationships don't work is because a lot of people get jealous way to easily.
then we got the swinger couples. can't really call them cheaters because both of the people in the relationship know & accept the sleeping around thing. to people like that, sex is more of a hobby then anything else which is why they work so well together strangely enough.
though the one thing that is really annoying & intolerable is when you are in a relationship with someone who constantly accuses you of cheating when your not doing so, which seems to be an increasingly common fad with people now days. people like that who won't accept that your not cheating on them no matter how much evidence is put before them that your not... its best to leave them & get a restraining order placed on them. when their that far gone into their own personal world of paranoia & suspicion you won't ever be able to have a good relationship with them and it will only hurt you more to stay in the relationship with them. being accused & yelled at constantly about being a cheater can hurt a lot more then being cheated on.

cheating on someone is never acceptable. why forgive them if they might do it again? i mean you just lose trust with that person and it's never the same. yes i have been cheated on. when i was with my ex i called him and a girl picked up the phone :/

xxkaylabby said:

cheating on someone is never acceptable. why forgive them if they might do it again? i mean you just lose trust with that person and it's never the same. yes i have been cheated on. when i was with my ex i called him and a girl picked up the phone :/

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thats better then walking in on them at least. i punched the last girl who did that to me & told her to choose between the two guys before her. she chose me & it lasted a few more weeks before she broke up with me & checked herself into therapy for having a sexual addiction. i've long since forgiven her for cheating. she had more then a few problems & went to get them resolved. we are human & we make mistakes, the only one who should not be forgiven are the ones who don't learn from their mistakes.

Ive cheated on many people. Anyone whos ever been dumb enough to try to talk me into dating them after I warned them. Cant say I feel guilt for them inviting it.

Ashes to Ashes said:

Ive cheated on many people. Anyone whos ever been dumb enough to try to talk me into dating them after I warned them. Cant say I feel guilt for them inviting it.

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if you warned them well before had that might cheat i can't say i can feel sorry for anyone you dated either. if their not prepared for you to sleep around on them after you outright told them you would most likely cheat, then its their own fault that they didn't see it coming. probably lowed some egos though.