The Funny, Stupid, Silly Thread

here's a couple(someone probly posted them but maybe not!):

a lepercon(lep-er-con)(sp) walks up to u and says"can i have a dollor i'm a little short"

next

what do u call cheese that isn't urs? NOTCHOCHEESE!(nacho-cheese not cho cheese) got that from comdy central

next

lets say jim had a marbu(a beer) after about 7 he had a marbu-bu! got that from the radio.

hey! i finally have one! the little kid says to his mom:mom,in the school they call me the killer! mom... mommy!.......MOM!....................................

did you get it?

Umm, I sort of get that one..
Ok, this isn't a joke, but I heard a commercial on the radio where you hear a little kid say, "Look Mommy! I painted you a picture- right here on the wall!"

Jynx: What do you mean that I can't come in?

Shop Keeper: Cause I don't think you can...

Jynx: Your attitude is just the worst I've ever seen! Be thankful you don't live in Hong Kong coz you'll be suspended with this kind of attitude!

Shop Keeper: Be thankful you don't live in Hong Kong too because you can't get in anything!

Jynx: Why can't I?

Shop Keeper: I don't mean I don't want you to come in, what I meant was...er...you are...too fat to go through the door...

Jynx: Oh! Sorry for the misunderstood!

if you were at the bar thread a while ago, you saw me tell this one:
alright, so there are these 3 strings that are working long and hard in the fields. at the end of their long hard day the all decide to go to the bar. the first string goes up to the bartender and says, "hello bartender, i would like a drink"
the bartender says, "are you a string?"
the first srting says, "yes"
and the bartender says, "i'm sorry, we don't serve strings here"
so the first string leaves and the second string comes up to bar and says, "hello bartender, i would like a drink"
the bartender says, "are you a string?"
the second string says, "yes"
and the bartender says, "i'm sorry, we don't serve strings here"
so the second string leaves. the third string who is the smartest of all the strings ties himself into a bow, and messes up his hair a little bit before he goes up to the bartender and says, "hello bartender, i would like a drink"
the bartender says, "are you a string?"
and the string says, "i'm a fraid knot"
get it? afraid not? wow... i kill me...
that's almost as funny as the age old rhyme:
oooooo...... jack fell out of the window!
you'd think that his head would be split!
but luck was with him that morning!
he fell in a pile of..... shaving cream!

hm...well thought! Bit too long though
-------------------------------
*Ring ring!*
A man picked up the phone.
Voice: Husband, I found a marvellous Burberry Hand Bag and it really matches me! Can I buy it?

Man: Of Course!

Voice: Oh, and there's a car sales here, I think we need a new car, shall I buy one? Is blue ok for you?

Man: Course!

Voice: Oh, you've never treated me so well! See ya!
*cuts phone*
Man: Who on earth does this telephone belong to?

i don't know if these r jokes:

tic tac toe three in a row barney got shot by a GIJoe.
with a bangbang here and a bangbang there
barney just lost his hair doing a double dare

i hate u!
u hate me!
lets get together and kill barney
with a bangbang here and a double droping dare!!!
we just took barneys fortified lair!

(sorry if is in proper)

LOL:
Two boys were camping one day without a watch. One boy said:
"Hey, what time is it?"
"I don't know. Lets start making lots of noise, then we'll find out."
Uh..okay.."
So, they made lots of noise, and sure enough, someone next door shouted,"Be quiet! It's 5 A.M.!

Another LOL thing that one of my little sisters made up:

??????

were do u go when it is 7:11 am/pm?
to the 7/11 store!

(^^^stupid wasn't it)

There are 5 ppl on a jet.
And then the jet broke, but there were only 4 parachutes!

Pilot: Ar! I not losing my life!
And he took a parachute and jumped.

Nurse Joy: The Pokemon in PC needs me!
And she took a parachute and jumped.

Ash:i'm the most important so I need a parachute!
He jumped

Agatha: Oh well, Max. I'm very old and I think I'd lived enough. SO you take the parachute!

Max: No! There's 2 parachutes for us!

Agatha: How come?

Max: Err...the person called Ash ya...he took my school bag instead!

So Agatha and Max landed safely

Haha, their all great! And the last one jynx did, I heard before without the Pokemon influence!