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[Pokémon] zinthos region adventure

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oshiottiz

6
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10
Years
  • Age 24
  • Seen Nov 25, 2013
This story (which is totally fake) starts on route 401 and has five main characters; the other three will be seen later. The two most important characters are named Zane and Marceline. they are both 10 and they live in Tokron town. Those two will be able to choose from three starters. The first is seedle the second is embereasel and the third is dolphond. The journey all begins like this.
One day in Tokron town two trainers where going to see the world.
Zane approached the grass but then immediately a Digameer popped out of the ground
"Ah!!"
Zane screamed
Then a professor threw him a poke ball
He caught it
Then he threw it
A seed popped out
"Seedle" the seed said
Then the professor told him to say "use vine whip"
He did
The Digameer then dug down deep in fear
"Yes!!" Zane said
Then Marceline came and picked up the seed and said "ooh I want it"
She then gave Zane eleven poke balls she said "all of these for that adorable seed"
Zane said "there's something in one" then Marceline said "yup I'm giving you this one as a trade"
"Ok" Zane said and they started the trade
Then the professor said "I'm sorry I never got to formally introduce myself." "I'm Professor Green ash"
Then the two trainers ran off into the grass
TO BE CONTINUED…
Caught Pokémon Zane Marceline
//////////////// Embereasel Seedle
 
Last edited:

Sam89

71
Posts
10
Years
  • Age 23
  • Seen Mar 26, 2014
I think that you should work on it some more. It seems really rushed, and really, eleven pokemon for one little seed? And what is with the ///////////Seedle Embereasel? Describe you charachters more. What level are they? What type? (I can guess but when new ones come out...). Could you post pictures? This is kind of incomplete so be sure to edit it. I'm working on my first series too I know how it feels.
 
Nolafus

Nolafus

Aspiring something
5,724
Posts
11
Years
Okay, I know that the 1,000 word limit is more of a strong suggestion and that quality can be the exemption to that rule, but there has to be a line, and 145 words crosses that line. No, the quality doesn't make this story an exemption to the rule. There isn't any description to be found, the story jumps from event to event way too fast, and to be completely honest, it looks like you spent about five minutes writing it out. If you want to post a story here, please put some more effort into it. Take a little time to describe the various events and take your time with it. I'm sorry if this seems harsh, but I don't know how to word it in a way that conveys what I want to say and in a really nice way. If you have any questions or concerns, please don't hesitate to ask me, but for now...

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