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Pokémon Fallout (OOC/SU)

Khawill

<3
1,567
Posts
11
Years
Very brief, slight interaction with you three's characters in the last part of my latest post. I don't plan on staying near this mountain much longer so that will be the last interaction with you guys for now.
 

Dawn

[span="font-size:180%;font-weight:900;color:#a568f
4,594
Posts
15
Years
@TornZero: No... not psychic. If one wants to fly or move stuff in general with psychic powers they need to suck it up and dedicate one of their moveslots to telekinesis. Letting people use telekinesis without actually knowing the move would be hilariously overpowered. (As telekinesis is already an excellent support move with insane amounts of potential in combat.)

I'd say bird pokespirit wielders would be the only wielders who could get away with flying without knowing the move fly. (Though, it can be presumed that knowing the move fly would make you a much better flier overall.)
 

Satan.EXE

King of the Hell
2,807
Posts
12
Years
  • Age 29
  • C:\
  • Seen Jun 12, 2015
If it makes logical sense, then it should work. If not, don't use Gamesharks.
 

Khawill

<3
1,567
Posts
11
Years
I'm making a sign up for another character. Mostly to speak in first person.
Name: Khalil Withrow (Kitsune pen name)
Age: 13
Appearence: Kitsune wears clothes that he writes on, it is covered with scrawled writings in both English and Japanese. He wears a t shirt and jeans. He is very tall, standing at 5'4 and has white hair. He keeps his hair low to avoid anyone from grabbing it. He walks with confidence and fearlessness, always looking happy.

Personality:Kitsune is very imaginative, often thinking up stories and other things. He has the ability to read and write English. He is kind but loves to play practical jokes on travelers, bandits, and children, though he never does anything that causes harm to others it can get him in a lot of trouble. He tends to avoid direct fights, but does love to be in ones where he is equal to his opponent in which case he doesn't hold back. Additionally he is very carefree, though do not pull any of his tails because he hates when people do that and will often swipe back.

Kitsune is very interested in myths and literature from the past, he tries to make life a big story and tries to live out fantasies. He is very loyal to whoever is in charge and prefers to follow than to lead. He is honorable, never breaking a promise and always returning a favor. (He once watched a family's twin children for months, because he promised he would. Needless to say he had lost them due to being distracted.) He prefers leadership, and hates being without a task. He has no moral compas, only what the person in charge tells him is what is right or wrong.

Edit* Kitsune is restless when he has nothing to do, and he can not do things for himself. Without a leader or guidance he becomes lost, and even scared. He has an intense fear of being worthless. He lacks survival skills past eating berries he knows are safe, and even then he is severely dependent on the healing properties of Oran and sitrus berries, something that his parents had problems suppressing. If he did not eat a berry at least once every three days, he would break into a sweat and become prone to more rash decisions, also feeling severe headaches.

History: Kitsune grew up with a father and a mother, they wandered around often and his father was relatively educated. The Withrow family had tried to keep as much of civilization and education in their family as they could, making them general targets of spiteful people who feared what intelligence could do to their "freedom". His family moved around a lot, very happy with life considering how easy it was for them to live. His father was very strict about him learning how to read, write, and do very basic math. He previously had a tumor in which his father researched vigorously for a cure. He found that Oran and sitrus berries would help cure the tumor, though it did Kitsune's body still relied on the berries. His parents tried to ween him off, but it was much too hard and they gave up.

When he turned thirteen his family had heard rumors of Pokemon spirits and sent him off to learn what he could about it. On his way to the mountain the first time, he did not learn anything, and was much to fearful to approach the crystal. When he returned his parents scolded him, (for they were strict and required perfection in every aspect, from fighting to learning) and told him this, "We want you to go out again and gain a spirit, do not return for we do not wish to see you any longer." Though the words stung, the reason was clear: he would be of no help to them with a spirit and may very well be a danger to them.

(I'm starting off actually going to the mountain the second time)

Spirit (This will all happen in my first post)
Pokemon: Ninetales

Personality: Obedient towards Kitsune he calls her Kyukon instead of Ninetales and she calls him Kitsune. She is very wise and lived for hundreds of years before the removal of Pokemon, she often speaks like an educated woman and hardly cares if she offends someone (often causing Kitsune to say aloud "that isn't very nice")

Moves: (Flash Fire) Hex, Power Swap, Flame Thrower, Iron Tail, Flame Charge, Confuse Ray

Other things: He always stays fused because he loves Ninetales's tails, additionally he breathes fire through his mouth. He is resistant to fire, but it doesn't make him stronger.
Power Swap only works through contact. His tails are quiet large and likely the most noticeable thing when fused, he also has keen eye. He uses Kitsune as a pen name, though when he introduces himself he uses his real name.

Opening Post (Not all posts with him are journal entries, most will be flashback or a story to another)
Journal Entry
I tell this story of events after they happen, I can not say what happens after today but I can meditate on the past as Inari has told me. This is a journal of my life, as I can write and that is a skill that Inari says is valuable. I believe her because she is much like a goddess, and most importantly- she is my leader. Of course her real name is not Inari, just as mine is not Kitsune, but she feeds me, my addiction.

I walked through the forests again after being sent away. I looked up the mountain, towards the goal given to me by my parents. It was the last thing they gave to me before sending me off. I heard some fighting on the other side, but I could hardly worry about that then so I had ignored it and continued on. The climb lacked in anything interesting so I will omit that part of my journey. Though when I got to the top I certainly did receive a gift that would change my life. I had received my companion Kyukon, and I certain loved her.

I have been reminded to write that she is still with me, and I still love her.

I came down the mountain on the other side, stopping halfway after I saw a group of people, I decided to ignore and avoid them, as fate would have it I would be meeting some of them anyways. Anyways I followed the road east, lacking direction. I remember only speaking to Kyukon during this time of uselessness. She told me stories of the past, her past, and honestly even as I write this I can not remember what she told me.

She is telling me that human memories are weak compared to hers, I don't disagree, many humans have forgotten their values. She is always right though, maybe one day I can be as wise as her and my Inari. I need a berry, as I write this my palms are sweating and my hand shakes, it is a cold sweat, I'm reassured by Kyukon that I will be sated. I must write off to see her, she keeps my berries.
 
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Batel

A nothing.
119
Posts
11
Years
I'm hoping for James to bump into the characters at the base of Coronet for a short time. Mostly just to get a good feel of how he'll interact with other PC's. I'm not really planning for him to become gelled to another character, but interaction promotes development and all, so I'm keen on it. But if you guys'd rather not, he's on his way to Children's city anyway. Just giving a heads up.
 

Crystallized

Always here. Always there.
60
Posts
11
Years
Wow. o.o This sounds very, very interesting. I think I'm going to write up an SU right now for this. Although it might take a short bit to complete ^^

Well, here it is.

Spoiler:
 
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Khawill

<3
1,567
Posts
11
Years
picture.php


I decided to draw a picture using a new drawing program. Unfortunately I'm a terrible artist so Spark looks a bit, uh, demonic. Also I can't draw people very well.
 

Dawn

[span="font-size:180%;font-weight:900;color:#a568f
4,594
Posts
15
Years
Alright... Time to tackle SUs.

@Khawill: While I did not find anything directly contradiciing the RP, I did however have on question echoing in my mind while reading the history / personality sections...

"Okay... so... where were these guys /after/ the apocolypse hit?"

That's, of course, rhetorical. What I'm trying to say is that it doesn't feel like the apocolypse even hit them. They're just dandy bunch o' good ol' guys that would fit in right at home in a pre-apocolypse world. They have no readily apparent negative flaws appropriate for the setting. They aren't thieves. They aren't murderers. They are way into books. The dude won't fight. His parents wander around actively seeking out the depraved people left in the world trying to teach them that civilization, y'know that thing that died, is better...

How have they /survived/, let alone ignored the objectively horrible world they're living in enough to raise a happy family? I might be missing details here, but if I am it's because they weren't in the SU to begin with. That being said, while the character concept itself is not necessarily unacceptable, the way you fleshed it out makes the character come off as a Mary Sue by crime of lack of appropriate flaws. This could partially be fixed by just giving more details on the history, /presuming/ those details explaining why they act how they act are also appropriate.




@Crystallized: Your SU looks pretty good for the most part, except for one thing. Your appearance is unusual in that it presents an issue. I generally don't even bother looking for issues in appearance sections (Sort of like name sections and the like) but TornZero pointed this out to me and I had to agree. Your character gains Cacturne themed clothes as his transformation with no actual physical changes. This puts them at roughly 0-1% Pokemon, which is... kind of an awful waste of potential don't you think?

That being said I feel like your fused transformation is a bit inappropriate for the RP, as there's supposed to be a physical change to the body of the wielder of some sort appropriate to the pokemon in question, and I mean... Cacturne? Without /thorns/? Oh lawdy. But yeah. I'd heavily reommend you revise your transformed appearance to better reflect this.
 

Khawill

<3
1,567
Posts
11
Years
My bad, I meant to make a happier character, compared to Spark that is.
-They have been traveling, there are only of them and they kicked out Kitsune for basically being a beacon.

-Kitsune does fight, he just doesn't fight enemies he thinks are stronger than him (He doesn't take risks pretty much)

-I never really meant to imply happy, they are more content. Also considering how intellectual they are, it wouldn't be hard to stay away from less educated bandits and such.
He is really meant to be more of an off character for me, so I didn't make him a huge unique character. (I also want to try out first person)

Edit* You may consider his entire history to be a downside, he has no experience killing, his only real ability is reading and being smart, he wouldn't beat many people in a fight unless they had no spirit.
 

Dawn

[span="font-size:180%;font-weight:900;color:#a568f
4,594
Posts
15
Years
@Khawill: Happy. Content. Doesn't change the point. His entire history being a downside as you put it is not a proper character flaw. Please consider what I said above, because you do /need/ to review your character's SU. Also, for future reference, names can and often do in fact effect someone's first impression of your SU. For your own good, I'd advise against ever naming your character after an animal with a well-known internet fanbase.
 

Khawill

<3
1,567
Posts
11
Years
I made some edits to my opening, history, and personality. Im not sure if this is better (It was hard for me to make flaw for a child who is generally sheltered).
 

TornZero

Resident Yuri-ism Cult Leader
1,137
Posts
14
Years
Edit* Kitsune is restless when he has nothing to do, and he can not do things for himself. Without a leader or guidance he becomes lost, and even scared. He has an intense fear of being worthless. He lacks survival skills past eating berries he knows are safe, and even then he is severely addicted to Oran berries. If he does not eat at least one a day he begins to suffer from withdraw, and is prone to being more aggressive. (His addiction is predicted by his father to be a birth defect.) This addiction can cause him to quickly change allegiances.

Edit* It was common knowledge that this family had knowledge and this made them somewhat of targets to some gang leaders who didn't want knowledge and order being circulated through the region. They especially feared that if another gang could get the family to join then that gang would have an advantage. The Withrow's had to stay vigilant when traveling, not wanting to join any gangs.

Okay, your edits are making less sense than the original SU.

How is he addicted to Oran berries when they're already a rarity? If he's in a traveling family then it's even less likely to find a consistent source of that particular fruit. "A birth defect" isn't a proper explanation for an acquired psychological condition, either.

Also, knowledge isn't condemned in the least, especially among adults — they don't exactly want everyone to be as dumb as a Psyduck that can't get rid of its headache. Learning reading and writing, among other basic school-taught subjects, just isn't readily available to everyone. It does not mean at all that people are going to hate everyone that learns any of those things or try to use them for their own gain.
 
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Crystallized

Always here. Always there.
60
Posts
11
Years
@Yellow Oh!... actually i had completely forgotten about the fused apperence ^^;; My bad, I've added that in now so i hope it will be alright.
 

TornZero

Resident Yuri-ism Cult Leader
1,137
Posts
14
Years
@Yellow Oh!... actually i had completely forgotten about the fused apperence ^^;; My bad, I've added that in now so i hope it will be alright.

As a note, Rayn's clothing really shouldn't be themed in a world where Pokémon to theme clothing around (not to mention the technology to make it past handcrafting) are all but gone. I have to seriously suggest that you change your clothing to something normal for when your character isn't fused. However, they're acceptable for a fused state as fusion has various effects on the person's clothes just as it does their body. (That's actually how Yellow and I interpreted it, in that you didn't have regular clothes to use but that that /was/ his fused form.)

That said, I have to ask you that you come up with a "regular" set of clothing for Rayn to use when he's not fused.
 

Crystallized

Always here. Always there.
60
Posts
11
Years
As a note, Rayn's clothing really shouldn't be themed in a world where Pokémon to theme clothing around (not to mention the technology to make it past handcrafting) are all but gone. I have to seriously suggest that you change your clothing to something normal for when your character isn't fused. However, they're acceptable for a fused state as fusion has various effects on the person's clothes just as it does their body. (That's actually how Yellow and I interpreted it, in that you didn't have regular clothes to use but that that /was/ his fused form.)

That said, I have to ask you that you come up with a "regular" set of clothing for Rayn to use when he's not fused.

Oh, I see. Well his clothes aren't really styles like Cacturne's, he's wearing a green t-shirt, black overcoat, and black trousers the only thing that i would see that is like Cacturn's style is the hat, which i will change ^^ Sorry for the misunderstanding.
 

TornZero

Resident Yuri-ism Cult Leader
1,137
Posts
14
Years
Thank you; but it's not the T-shirt or pants. It's the gloves; it's the tattoo that appears to be there for no particular reason (that I'd actually like you to explain, please, because it makes little sense to have an actual tattoo concerning the time period); it's the overcoat that seems to have everything intact (for example, why are there no rips or missing buttons?). Everything seems to be made around the fact that he has a Cacturne spirit that makes it themed to me.

Anyways, thanks again for listening and working to fix up your SU.
 

Crystallized

Always here. Always there.
60
Posts
11
Years
Oh o.o Well if you want I could change his gloves or anything else that needs changing, just tell me what and I'll change it to see fit. And as for an explanation on the tattoo, can i maybe explain that in Rp? As it would be a lot easier that way.
 

TornZero

Resident Yuri-ism Cult Leader
1,137
Posts
14
Years
The clothes are fine as a fused form (though the overcoat could very easily be altered, like the buttons becoming spikes), but I'd very much like that Rayn has "regular" attire so he's not going naked when he's unfused. Since clothing is going to be "fixed up" while fused (and styles changed; Aiden's Froslass, for example, effectively turns his shirt and jeans into a kimono), pretty much any normal kid clothes are good.

However, the tattoo /needs/ to be explained or removed, as it wasn't part of the fused form in the first place, and it doesn't make sense as part of the fused form since Cacturne don't have tattoos. The technology for safely applying tattoos is all but gone, and primitive needle methods are extremely dangerous without the sanitation that the Fallout world doesn't have.
 

Crystallized

Always here. Always there.
60
Posts
11
Years
Alright then ^^ Time to do some editing! I should have it done in a snap so just check my SU and it should be done.
 
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