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[Other Original] The Fallen Hero (temp title)

225
Posts
10
Years
Hi everyone,

I'll be posting a story that I've been working on, chapter one. The reason I'm posting is because I'm kind of stuck on where to go from here, and I would love to get some advice. If you're interested, please read through it, it would mean a lot to me.

A tale of magic, adventure and fantasy, that's how I can best describe my story. My inspiration, among many others but most widely known is Lord of the Rings and the Warcraft universe, and lesser known is the Raven's Shadow series. These examples will give you an idea of what awaits.
I'll be posting the story in several spoilers so as to prevent a massive first post. The first chapter is about 20 pages long.

(In this bit you'll find a few bold underscored words - they're just key words that I made more notable so that I can refer to that easier.)
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If you have read everything up to this point, you have my most sincere gratitude.
Now, since I've posted all the sections that compose chapter one I can discuss my problem a bit more freely.

The direction of the story: I want it to be about Arithos and Serena being on the run; hunted down by the Rangers and the Council. In the meantime, Venn will travel to the capital City to relay a message to all Racial Leaders. Central to this chapter is an encounter between Argoth's minions and Arithos and Serena.

So as an example: The new chapter opens with Arithos and Serena sitting by a campfire in the forest out of town. Serena wakes up, they discuss what had just happened and what's going to happen. Venn will travel to the North, to the center of Nalmoreden to a messenger outpost, and send out messengers to every capital, then he'll go back South-East and travel to the High King.

That'smy plan for chapter two so far. However, doesn't it all sound a bit stale? The entire world sounds a bit stale. Should I put some focus on the other races as well?
I'd want to avoid the story to focus on Arithos and Serena completely, even though they're the protagonists. How should I do this?
I also am not planning to "ship" Arithos and Serena.
Please let me know if you need more clues or information, any feedback at all is welcome and advice is highly appreciated.
 
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Phantom1

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1,182
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12
Years
Hmm, this might be better suited for the Lounge part of FF&W. This area is for stories being posted.

My advice though would be this. We can't write it for you. The best I could say would be to use a third party's perspective. But again we can't write it for you. It's a part of being a writer is finding your own way through things.
 
225
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10
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Ah, I'm sorry I must have phrased myself wrongly. I never wanted anyone else to write the story for me, I'm simply looking for advice on how to pick up on the story now, in order to keep it interesting.

While on that, I'm looking for opinions on what I have currently written. Is there anything I can improve on? Are there any sections you dislike? Is it clear?

Those are my questions and reasons for posting.
 

Phantom1

[css-div="font-size: 12px; font-variant: small-cap
1,182
Posts
12
Years
Ah, I'm sorry I must have phrased myself wrongly. I never wanted anyone else to write the story for me, I'm simply looking for advice on how to pick up on the story now, in order to keep it interesting.

See, that's the thing, that's your job as a writer. I gave an idea in my last post, but that's all I can give. I didn't mean to have someone physically write your story for you, I meant that if people give you all the ideas on how to 'keep it interesting', then it's really not your story, now is it? Writer's block, running into corners, it's all part of the job.

I'm not commenting on the sections because technically it's against the guidelines for the area to not post an entire chapter.
 
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225
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10
Years
See, that's the thing, that's your job as a writer. I gave an idea in my last post, but that's all I can give. I didn't mean to have someone physically write your story for you, I meant that if people give you all the ideas on how to 'keep it interesting', then it's really not your story, now is it? Writer's block, running into corners, it's all part of the job.

I'm not commenting on the sections because technically it's against the guidelines for the area to not post an entire chapter.

I understand. In that case, my post still has very little use for me. If you'd like, please take it down.
 

Phantom1

[css-div="font-size: 12px; font-variant: small-cap
1,182
Posts
12
Years
I understand. In that case, my post still has very little use for me. If you'd like, please take it down.

You keep looking over the advice that I did give. So I'll say it again, third party's perspective.

And it doesn't have to be deleted. Just ask for it to be moved. It isn't an issue really.
 
225
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10
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You keep looking over the advice that I did give. So I'll say it again, third party's perspective.

And it doesn't have to be deleted. Just ask for it to be moved. It isn't an issue really.

It just now dawned on me what you meant. I feel like hitting my head against the wall - but my story would suffer if I did. ;)
First I thought you meant exactly to ask others (hence third party), but now I think you mean to write in a third party's perspective, rather than first person, is that correct?

I've spoken with Nolafus and we decided that my post is fit for FF&W, however, I've now edited my original post to make my questions some more feedback related rather than advice related.
 
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Phantom1

[css-div="font-size: 12px; font-variant: small-cap
1,182
Posts
12
Years
It just now dawned on me what you meant. I feel like hitting my head against the wall - but my story would suffer if I did. ;)
First I thought you meant exactly to ask others (hence third party), but now I think you mean to write in a third party's perspective, rather than first person, is that correct?

I've spoken with Nolafus and we decided that my post is fit for FF&W, however, I've now edited my original post to make my questions some more feedback related rather than advice related.

I'm not talking the actual perspecitve, but, rather, having a third party experience the events. Create a character or work with existing characters that work with your other characters that you feel are getting too much lime light.
 
225
Posts
10
Years
I'm not talking the actual perspecitve, but, rather, having a third party experience the events. Create a character or work with existing characters that work with your other characters that you feel are getting too much lime light.

Ahh like so. That's actually something I hadn't thought about at all.
I'll have to think about how to work this, but this is really nice advice thank you very much!
 
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