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  #301    
Old December 12th, 2014 (02:40 PM).
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obZen
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Quote originally posted by Venusaur♣:
I'm depressed. And I'm tired of it. I just want to do something and go somewhere to a place that nobody knows me and try to make a living. I was thinking about trying to go to Australia, and get a work visa, and stay there for a few years. After that just go around teaching English in foreign countries for a while. I just want to stop being bored. I just want to stop being so damn socially awkward and be able to express myself properly. I want to stop replaying every little thing in my head over and over again. Is that too much to ask for?
I know how you feel. I feel ridiculously bored every single day, regardless of what happens. It's gotten worse the past few years.
Try getting into social situations more; it'll help you improve
Replaying things won't help (unless you do in fact figure out a better solution)

But don't down yourself! You have all of the potential in the world to be happy
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  #302    
Old December 12th, 2014 (03:05 PM).
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Quote originally posted by obZen:
I know how you feel. I feel ridiculously bored every single day, regardless of what happens. It's gotten worse the past few years.
Try getting into social situations more; it'll help you improve
Replaying things won't help (unless you do in fact figure out a better solution)

But don't down yourself! You have all of the potential in the world to be happy
I can't even if I try. It's hard to explain without revealing the situation I'm in, I'm kust stuck.
Replaying things is the only thing I can do at this point, tbh. I just never imagined myself to be in this situation, ever. I didn't think things through and now I'm stuck aha. I had the potential is more like it aha.
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  #303    
Old December 13th, 2014 (12:02 AM).
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obZen
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Quote originally posted by Venusaur♣:
I can't even if I try. It's hard to explain without revealing the situation I'm in, I'm kust stuck.
Replaying things is the only thing I can do at this point, tbh. I just never imagined myself to be in this situation, ever. I didn't think things through and now I'm stuck aha. I had the potential is more like it aha.
Instead of replaying things, just focus on the now and how to get through each current situation.
I'd recommend The Happy Place on the Pokemon Showdown main server; it's a very helpful place for this type of stuff
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  #304    
Old December 13th, 2014 (03:46 AM).
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Quote originally posted by Venusaur♣:
I can't even if I try. It's hard to explain without revealing the situation I'm in, I'm kust stuck.
Replaying things is the only thing I can do at this point, tbh. I just never imagined myself to be in this situation, ever. I didn't think things through and now I'm stuck aha. I had the potential is more like it aha.
Take a week and do absolutely nothing that would be stressful or hard. let your brain and mind take a break, from everything. I dont think I need to go any deeper on why and whatnot, so I'll just say what i think might help you.
And dont think "oh but I could do something useful in a week". Lets face it, you won't, as long as something is blocking you. You have entire life ahead of you, one week of doing nothing wont hurt your productivity at all. So take a week off.

Next, after a week or so, find groups, associations, workshops, or anything of that kind that is anyhow connected to anything you like or are interested in. Join them. Dont feel pressured, just come to a meeting or something and see how it goes. You probably dont know those people and vice versa, so it doesnt matter what you did or didnt do before. if you dont feel comfortable with your past or current life, and they start asking questions, just give them some genral information, do NOT feel pressured, as if you had to explain yourself.
Trust me, EVERYONE does this, and it is ALRIGHT.

Im no expert on this, but I dont think change will just hapen out of nowehere. Allow your body to get some time off, then try with new stuff.
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  #305    
Old December 13th, 2014 (02:12 PM).
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Quote originally posted by Venusaur♣:
I can't even if I try. It's hard to explain without revealing the situation I'm in, I'm kust stuck.
Replaying things is the only thing I can do at this point, tbh. I just never imagined myself to be in this situation, ever. I didn't think things through and now I'm stuck aha. I had the potential is more like it aha.
Do anything but replaying things. I kind of disagree with the other advice here; I'd advocate that you do something that makes you uncomfortable. Things don't enter your comfort zone so much as you expand your comfort zone to include them. If you just avoid things that make you uncomfortable, then your comfort zone will shrink over time and that's hurting you in the long run. Make some short term pain for long term gain.
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  #306    
Old December 13th, 2014 (02:56 PM).
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Quote originally posted by Venusaur♣:
I'm depressed. And I'm tired of it. I just want to do something and go somewhere to a place that nobody knows me and try to make a living. I was thinking about trying to go to Australia, and get a work visa, and stay there for a few years. After that just go around teaching English in foreign countries for a while. I just want to stop being bored. I just want to stop being so damn socially awkward and be able to express myself properly. I want to stop replaying every little thing in my head over and over again. Is that too much to ask for?
Sometimes it rains, and clouds cover the sun. But that doesn't mean the sun is gone. In fact, if you look up at the sky you can still see where it is. Now the words are a bit corny I'll admit, but the message is important. Sometimes we're sad, sometimes we get the blues, it's human. But the important thing to remember is that it doesn't mean the world is ending. Tomorrow will come, the sun will rise. And even though it might be raining now, just think about how great it will feel when it stops. :D

Kanzl sort of has the right idea, too!
Be confident, get out there into the world and try something new. Sometimes it just takes discomfort to make you comfortable. And, you might just find something new that you really like!
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  #307    
Old 3 Weeks Ago (01:00 PM).
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I'm having a bit of a problem regarding my future relationship. One of my female online friends, as well as her sister, are interested in sleeping with me (she views me as her friend with benefits). At first I felt excited, but I soon had second thoughts. I feared that if I eventually get a girlfriend and learned that I've slept with another woman before her, she'll leave me right at the moment, having me fear in shame of being forever alone for doing such a thing. The two sisters think it's nonsense and told me to stop worrying about the future and start worrying about the present and that I can still get myself a girlfriend regardless if I slept with someone before. But I don't which advice I should believe: My own advice or theirs?
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  #308    
Old 3 Weeks Ago (02:18 PM).
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Quote originally posted by Pinkie-Dawn:
I'm having a bit of a problem regarding my future relationship. One of my female online friends, as well as her sister, are interested in sleeping with me (she views me as her friend with benefits). At first I felt excited, but I soon had second thoughts. I feared that if I eventually get a girlfriend and learned that I've slept with another woman before her, she'll leave me right at the moment, having me fear in shame of being forever alone for doing such a thing. The two sisters think it's nonsense and told me to stop worrying about the future and start worrying about the present and that I can still get myself a girlfriend regardless if I slept with someone before. But I don't which advice I should believe: My own advice or theirs?
Both of you are right: there are women who will hold sleeping with someone before her against you and women who don't. And even more, there are women who won't take you seriously if you haven't slept with anybody before. The point is, do whatever's comfortable for you, because at the end of the day you'll have to explain your actions to a potential girlfriend no matter what you choose. Such is the way with girlfriends.

I guess it also depends somewhat on what you're looking for. Say you want a girlfriend who wants to be your first, then you obviously would want to wait until you find her right? At the end of the day though, you'll probably be able to find some women who find your past sex life agreeable, so it's not like any one of the choices are better either way outside of your preference.
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  #309    
Old 3 Weeks Ago (06:01 PM).
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Quote originally posted by Pinkie-Dawn:
I'm having a bit of a problem regarding my future relationship. One of my female online friends, as well as her sister, are interested in sleeping with me (she views me as her friend with benefits). At first I felt excited, but I soon had second thoughts. I feared that if I eventually get a girlfriend and learned that I've slept with another woman before her, she'll leave me right at the moment, having me fear in shame of being forever alone for doing such a thing. The two sisters think it's nonsense and told me to stop worrying about the future and start worrying about the present and that I can still get myself a girlfriend regardless if I slept with someone before. But I don't which advice I should believe: My own advice or theirs?
i'm more interested in the sister/sister sex scenario you've laid out
i'm guessing they're fine with each other sharing the same man? i'm guessing you're fine with having sex with both of them? i just hope you've all thought this out

as for your main problem
weigh up want you want more
do you want these girls/other women in a sexual nature before you get a girlfriend? or would you rather you be in a relationship with your girlfriend before you have sex?

either way is okay; if it doesn't work for you with one person, it will work out with someone else. just do what you feel is best for you.
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  #310    
Old 3 Weeks Ago (07:10 PM).
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Quote originally posted by Aphrodite:
i'm more interested in the sister/sister sex scenario you've laid out
i'm guessing they're fine with each other sharing the same man? i'm guessing you're fine with having sex with both of them? i just hope you've all thought this out
They're fine with each other sharing the same man, because they've done it before with another. I'm also fine with the idea of having sex with both.

Quote:
as for your main problem
weigh up want you want more
do you want these girls/other women in a sexual nature before you get a girlfriend? or would you rather you be in a relationship with your girlfriend before you have sex?
Well on one hand, they could help me experience real sex, but on the other hand, I wanted to have sex during a relationship with a girlfriend. Of course, Kanzler did bring an excellent point about women's reaction to this type of situation.
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  #311    
Old 3 Weeks Ago (08:04 PM).
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Pinkie, serious question here - why do you think it matters if you had sex with a girl before your relationship? Yeah some women may feel a bit awkward about that but lets get real here - many men aren't virgins and to cut them out on that alone is pretty silly. So it would really be silly for a mature and long-lasting relationship to have an individual who is really nasty about your previous sex life. Frankly, as long as you're not going to give her an illness or something, it really shouldn't matter.

That's my two cents anyways...
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  #312    
Old 3 Weeks Ago (12:54 PM).
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Quote originally posted by daigonite:
Pinkie, serious question here - why do you think it matters if you had sex with a girl before your relationship?
Because I was told that I shouldn't be losing my virginity to some cheap thrill with someone before getting into a serious relationship, because it's suppose to feel special.
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  #313    
Old 3 Weeks Ago (01:03 PM).
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Corvus of the Black Night
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Quote originally posted by Pinkie-Dawn:
Because I was told that I shouldn't be losing my virginity to some cheap thrill with someone before getting into a serious relationship, because it's suppose to feel special.
That's not a requirement though and honestly you can lose your virginity to whom you please. It's up to you how you live your life. If you want to have a one night stand with someone, go ahead; if you want to save your virginity for someone special, do that too - although with the latter, things change, so that might be for naught anyhow.

I don't know who told you that but there's no reason why it has to be that way, that may be that individual's personal choice.
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  #314    
Old 2 Weeks Ago (06:55 PM).
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Ok so basically I want to be dead but lets explain that into detail with some questions:

-Why are people so horrible?
-What are people trying to protect when they say they care when they really don't and only "care" because they have to, not because they want to?

Now this thinking comes from a long way of ignoring to me. I try, and try, and try to make new friends. Someone was depressed and I tried to be nice to them, and they pushed me away. In fact, a lot of people in the past 4 months have done this to me, both online and physically. What is wrong with me? Is it because I don't have popular opinions, or do "cool" things? Is it because I play competitive pokemon, stand up and not be afraid to be myself, and actually help someone because I care, not because I have to?

I just don't understand how this type of thing is so common. How common it is to be a dick to others for no reason. My favorite example:

"I am so lonely I need a boyfriend"
*insert decent cool and loving guy*
"Oh but not you"

I just don't understand why.....
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  #315    
Old 2 Weeks Ago (08:18 PM).
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Quote originally posted by DDDchu:
Ok so basically I want to be dead but lets explain that into detail with some questions:

-Why are people so horrible?
-What are people trying to protect when they say they care when they really don't and only "care" because they have to, not because they want to?
Not everyone is horrible and speaking from a logical point of view the horrible people make up a very small percentage of the population--especially in comparison to the average person. I'd also safely surmise the number of "horrible" people is outweighed by the number of amazing people. That being said, horrible is an objective term and it largely depends on how you look at the situation. If the person really is horrible, then you have a choice to let it affect you or not. If someone has a bad attitude towards you when you've put your bet foot forward simply brush it off, it's obviously their loss.

To answer the second question it largely depends on the person and the subject of what they care about. It could be to keep up appearance, or to spare someone's feelings it really all depends. But instead, I offer you another question: How do you know that the person doesn't really care? Maybe they simply have difficulty actually showing that they do, or maybe you're not realizing something that shows that they do care. Without a specific situation in mind it is very difficult to answer your question.

Quote:
Now this thinking comes from a long way of ignoring to me. I try, and try, and try to make new friends. Someone was depressed and I tried to be nice to them, and they pushed me away. In fact, a lot of people in the past 4 months have done this to me, both online and physically. What is wrong with me? Is it because I don't have popular opinions, or do "cool" things? Is it because I play competitive pokemon, stand up and not be afraid to be myself, and actually help someone because I care, not because I have to?

I just don't understand how this type of thing is so common. How common it is to be a dick to others for no reason. My favorite example:

"I am so lonely I need a boyfriend"
*insert decent cool and loving guy*
"Oh but not you"

I just don't understand why.....
Depression is a very fickle subject and people often do things that they don't always mean to do. When your emotions are all haywire you can even confuse yourself on what you want. That person could be pushing you away for a myriad of different reasons. When I was struggling with depression I pushed people because everyone tended to patronize me or were quick to fit me into their neat little metaphorical boxes of interpersonal definition. I went about that for a very long time and pushed away many people. While I'm generally over the worst of my depression having someone that actually genuinely cares about me that isn't family or a close friend I've already known for year is a very foreign and frankly uncomfortable concept to me so I'm still resistant when it comes forming new relationships with people, romantic or otherwise.

My point is, the answer to these questions and the solution to the problems you're facing is highly dependent on so many many things. The best advice I can offer you is: You don't have to go looking for friends/relationships. I mean, you have to put some effort forth but if you just be yourself and focus on bettering yourself you'll make those friends in no time. Be nice and compassionate to other people simply because it's in your nature to do these things; don't do it because you get something out of it--even if it is something intangible such as feelings, friendships etc. You can't always control what happens to you, but you CAN control how you let it affect you. If you're thinking negatively about something that happened your attitude will be negative. If you're thinking positively, your attitude will be positive.

If you ever need to talk about anything(literally anything) you can always shoot me a VM or PM and I'll be glad to chat with ya. As someone who has experienced what you're describing from both sides I sincerely hope things get better for you--just don't be too harsh on other people because you have no way of fully understanding how they feel, or what they are going through.
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