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Old January 31st, 2012, 03:54 PM
Volcanix769's Avatar
Volcanix769
Known as the Quilava Guy!
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: NJ in the U.S
Gender: Male
Nature: Careful
Chapter 1: A New Beginning: A New Adventure


I recall it of one warm and inviting summer day in New Bark Town. The sun shone down bright on the tranquil town. All the Pokémon woke from their slumber; the Starly sang in the new morning light, the Bellossom and Hoppip basked in the warmth of the early sun, and Chinchou and Remoraids swam happily.

The sunlight coming from the window was warm on my cheek. I groaned as I rolled over, trying to avoid the sun's early gaze, at the point where I arose out of my bed.

This boy used to be me, 3 years ago. This was the day when I received a Cyndaquil so I can be like my dad. But he's not here since he left us when I was 5. He won 3 Pokémon Leagues out of the 5 regions of Kanto, Johto, Hoenn, Sinnoh, and Unova.

I stretched and began to get ready for the day. I quickly changed into my jeans and yellow shirt, then put on my brown gloves and goggles as I made my way to the kitchen. I happily let out a small grin, amazed of what might become for me on this fine day.

As I walked towards the cabinet, I quickly grasped on my Corn Flakes cereal and quickly stuffed them in my mouth so I can depart from my house early. I choked for a small amount of time until I managed to swallow those sharp chunks disrupting my neck.

Then I heard something coming from my TV as the absurd noises and bangs began irritating me from my peaceful breakfast. I got up from my seat and slowly walked towards the living room, looking at my curious, enthusiastic mother watching old clips about my Dad winning in the Unova league 15 something years ago. It was my Dad's Charizard against Alder's Druddigon.

"Char, use Seismic Toss. Finish this once and for all!" Dad loudly commanded as he quickly points out to Char. Char nodded in response. He briskly managed to dive down from the sky and grabbed Druddigon as it thrashes around, trying to slip out of the Char's tight grip suffocating his neck.

Alder was furious as he clenched his teeth, unable to bear this for long. "Druddigon, use Thunder Fang to release yourself!"

Druddigon tried to crunch on Char's arm, but Char him suffocated harder and harder as the Druddigon began breathing. Druddigon was losing power while Char tightly held on him. The fans were getting frantic as they glance on how Druddigon's losing.

"Alder, you can do this!"

"Don't let that kid beat you!"

Char flew up higher towards the vast sky and spinned up and down. As Char quickly dived hard towards the ground, he lets go of Druddigion as he plunged it hard into the arena.

A cloud of dust began circling around the arena, causing the audience to be confused as they began questioning on what's going on. After the dust settled, the scene showed Druddigon lying on his back, his mouth slightly bleeding, with a few of his teeth chipped off and his wounds caused blood to gush out.

Alder gasped at the sight of his Pokemon harshly beaten and defeated.

Everyone cheered. They began jumping and rooting on while some unpleasantly booed on my Dad and his Charizard. Dad walked up to the bench at the right side of the arena.

"YAY!"

"That kid defeated Alder!?"

"He's legend!"

Dad picked up the trophy with Char the Charizard, Slasher the Samurott, Geico the Sceptile, Jolt the Jolteon, and Basher the Heracross. Char happily licked on Dad's face, then they lightly snuggled each other's faces.

Seeing this from the TV, my mom shuts it off, crying. "Oh Rald, why are you gone... please come back..." She placed her palm on her warm face, crying loudly. This is something my Mom would always watch and do every single morning. I would see her with a soulless look on her face which gave me shivers that ran down my spine.

So, for their starter Pokémon, Mom chose Squirtle while my dad chose Charmander. On their dazzling journey, Dad and Charmander grew to be an unbeatable pair. They would always train, while many people would wonder on why they would do so every single morning, and afternoon. When people were in trouble, they're more than willing to step up and protect them.

In seven years they completed the Pokédex. During that time, he managed to win in the various leagues: Johto, Hoenn, and Unova. He did lose in Kanto when he started out, and lost in Sinnoh, losing against Tobias.

He moved on to the Battle Frontier back in Kanto. He managed to win by recognizing his own shortcomings and using that to prevail. It was after this that Dad gave up collecting badges and married Mom. They were twenty-two.

2 years later, I was born. After that, Mom gave up battling and started taking care of me. Before my dad left, he would always tell me amazing stories on how he goes through his amazing adventures, that made me be amazed of what he went through. He used to be a rookie back when he was in Kanto until he realized on how to fully bond and understand Pokémon.

The day before he left, he was busy talking to Char outside about something, he was frustrated about it as I hear him thrash around and scream, but what? I was too young to understand on what was becoming of him. Then a day later, he finally left. He was afraid to tell Mom and me about it. But he inspired me to to become a trainer like him.

Back to this, my Mom still weeps in sadness and despair for my enigmatic father. Then she wiped her tears and fake smiled like nothing just happened. I shuddered when I got to see her creepy face, wondering if she's really all right.

"Blake, I'll miss you, you are the only one I have, except my Pokémon and Elekid. You remind me of your dad, since you have some of his looks. But you have my light skin and my face. Take care, and notify me by using the Pokegear." She said, then her smile grew somewhat wider since she knows that I will make it.

"I will mom, I will." I smiled happily. As I was about to depart, Buzz, our Elekid quickly ran towards me and tightly hugged my leg, hoping that he may see me again. Just seeing that made me feel a bit empty with grief and pain. I lightly patted his head and walked out of the house.

Buzz has been my Pokémon since my 5th birthday. My dad decided to find a perfect Pokémon for all of us to be with and he was the perfect once for me.

I walked down to Jackson's green, somewhat large house and loudly pounded the door.

"Hello? Jack, you there?" I yelled.

After 10 seconds have rolled by, Jackson slowly walked out of the door with a excited demeanor.

"Hey Blake? You're ready to get our starters today?" He asked.

"Yeah, I'm ready all right." I happily responded, "Professor Elm told me that Cyndaquil are very young and that they grow up early, they are timid also. So is Carly ready to get her starter?"

"She already left... She's too determined to get her Chikorita before us. She's always so joyous for everything, even when we were in Pokemon School in Violet City." He said as he lightly chuckled.

So Jackson and me been friends since we were very young. We met in the beautiful Olivine City, playing at the sand with the clear serene water lightly splashing on her soft skin. My Dad decided for me to meet new people, then that's when I met Jackson. We've always got our backs, and that he always cracks funny jokes, but he doesn't do it anyone since they are too offensive.

So when we slowly walked together to Professor Elm's lab, we looked at Carly putting her Chikorita on her face, laughing while she tickles her tummy.

"Wait... so since that she chose a Chikorita, I'll just pick Oshawott. I don't like Totodile anyway. He walked to Professer Elm as he was preparing our Pokédex. I turned around and saw a quiet Cyndaquil munching away Pokémon food silently.

I walked down to the starter table, feeling a bit nervous. Seeing that I came, the little echidna like Pokemon stopped chewing and using his monstrous Leer attack. I startled a bit as I slowly moved back with both of my arms up. Then I breathed in and out until I became confident.

"Hey... my name is Blake... and I am-"

I was too nervous to say anything else since that the grumpy little thing was getting more infuriated. Then he flared up a huge, fiery combustion from his 4 spots on his back.

"Quil cynda!" Cyndaquil loudly shrieked. I went back a bit, and fell down on my back while my stomach felt a bit painful, while his flames grew larger and larger. Professor Elm turned around while giving Jackson his Oshawott, glancing at the Cyndaquil's huge flame with his demonic expression glaring at my astonished face. His heart pounded faster and faster.

(Seriously, this Cyndaquil has something going on. Since I got it alone at Cyndaquil Cave, he would always be too angry and he almost destroyed the laboratory before! I have to give him to Blake, soon!)

"Wait here Jackson, I have to stop this Cyndaquil from burning the lab, NOW!"

Professor Elm ran as quick as he can to stop Cyndaquil. I turned around and looked at him putting out the Poké Ball as the red light sapped the Cyndaquil and sealed him. Professor Elm ran and caught the ball. Then he slowly walked towards me and I got up.

"Blake, take care of this Cyndaquil, he sure can have a nasty temper." He said as he nodded his head.

"I will, that explains how sensitive he is."

He turned around and grabbed the Pokédex, then he looked back toward me. "Ok, so here is your Pokédex, it's red, and that here are your Poke Balls, have a nice journey!" He said.

"I'll try to finish up the Pokedex like my father did!" I said, then I departed.

So when I walked out, I saw a red headed guy wearing a black, long sleeved shirt standing at the left of the laboratory's window.

"Who are you?" I asked.

He turned around and left out a menacing glare, causing me to move back a bit. "None of your business." He said in such a sarcastic tone, "Just get out of my way."

"Ok. Geez."

So as I quickly paced away from that arrogant jerk, I took out my Poké Ball. "Ok Quil, come out."

I threw out the Poke Ball and Quil was released as red energy until he was reformed into his real self. When he saw my excited gaze, he turned around, feeling irritable.

"Hey Quil, that's what I am going to name you, so... I will be your partner. But first, I need to take you to my house. SO let's go."

When I slowly walked towards my house, Quil wasn't even moving a bit. "I said, let's go." He still didn't move. Then I got my leash out of my bag and harshly tied at his neck. Then I dragged his body, but he's sort of heavy.

I harshly groaned, seeing that Quil would refuse to obey me. "Ok. I'll carry you." I picked him up and grabbed him tight, since he refuses to last in my hands. I came back, seeing my Mom cook her delicious Pecha Noodle Soup as the spicy, mouthwatering scent forcing its way into my hollow nostrils, causing me to feel nothing but a delicious soup that's awaiting for me. Then I looked at Buzz playing by himself as he lightly rocked himself around, happily chuckling.

"Mom, I'm back."

She stopped stirring and turned around towards me grabbing Quil. "Honey, why are you back so soon, I thought that you left for your journey."

"I did, but I want to show you my Cyndaquil." I lightly placed him at the ground. Buzz sprinted towards Quil, feeling excited that he could play with him. Quil is refusing to use mobility, causing the curious Buzz to become disoriented.

"Be Bee!" Buzz happily greeted with his hand up. Quil let out no response, making Buzz feel like Quil is just tired. "Bee?" Buzz looked at Quil's stomach, but all he hears is heavy breathing puffing out of Quil's mouth that cause Buzz's head to feel a bit warm.

Buzz tried moving Quil's front and back legs, but he still remains immobile. When Buzz used Thundershock to move Quil, the tingling and burning sensation around the grumpy Quil to become extremely furious. The strongest he could, he quickly jumped up and kicked Buzz to the wall. My eyes became weary as my stomach quickly became upset.

"Quil, stop this instant right now!" I angrily yelled as I put my finger down.

But Quil took my command as npnsense. He jumps down on his legs and bursts out a big wispy flame that can almost reach the ceiling. But this time, it's a wispy blue flame. My stomach twisted as I quickly tried breathing.

Like, how can a Cyndaquil have his flame be blue?! That's nearly impossible, except for a Charizard. Then Quil used Quick Attack and harshly tacked Buzz on his stomach, causing a massive crater on the wall.

They rolled down to my creepy basement used by sewer Pokemon such as Rattata and Spinarak. Then he punched him harshly on the face over and over. Buzz looked up and had a shocked facial expression while he glances at Quil's horrible condition. Quil pushed Buzz away from him and spits out massive blue embers on Buzz. Buzz let out a loud screech that caused me to become extremely frustrated.

"Quil, like I said, STOP NOW!" I angrily commanded as I stomped the ground angrily. But Quil still didn't comprehend like if he has no consciousness. Then he once again use Ember, but this time, it sets Buzz aflame as the fire rages on his body.

"Beeeeee!" Buzz ran and ran while he was on fire, at the where he lost consciousness. My mom quickly ran down the way towards Buzz. She grasped on Buzz while she harshly shivers, wondering if he is alright.

Then he slowly opened his eyes as he made a crooked smile on his face, startling my mom once more. I harshly bawled with my palm on top of my face. Then I loudly stomped my foot on the floor and quickly made my way to Buzz.

I was extremely shocked, seeing Buzz having burns badly cinched all over his body, with smoke puffing out of him, with a slight bit of blood streaming out of his wide open mouth. I got up and tightly clenched my fists as I harshly growled at Quil with my tensed up face.

"Quil! What is your problem?! You are the worst Pokemon I have ever seen! Your disobedience is far enough! You almost killed Buzz for pete sake! He would never do that to someone, and you don't even care about how much damage you caused!? I tried being your friend, but NOOOOO... You TEND TO act like I AM YOUR ENEMY! NOW WE ARE! IF YOU DON'T WANT TO BE MY FRIEND FINE! Get out of my face, NOW!" I pointed towards the door as I exhaled harshly.

Quil calmed down and looked up at me. He slowly opened his mouth as he appears to look extremely sorry. Then he harshly cried and ran away out of the door. I put my hand on my chest and gripped it tightly, realizing that what I did is not the idea of being a good trainer.

"What have I done? I shouldn't have ever been rude to that poor guy. Like why is he like this? What happened when Professor Elm found him?" I faintly said, shivering, "I better go to him right this instant."

I turned around towards Mom, while she held on Buzz lightly. "Mom, I'll try to go to Professor Elm to ask on why Quil is like this. I'll be back, take care of Buzz." I quickly ran out of the door.

"Take care, my son." She said passionately.

This was made by me, and that here is the link to the original post:http://fav.me/d5idzhx
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Last edited by Volcanix769; December 17th, 2012 at 04:07 PM.
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  #2    
Old February 2nd, 2012, 06:59 PM
psyanic's Avatar
psyanic
There's Something About Lamps
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: The USA
Age: 18
Gender: Female
Nature: Bold
Okay, ready for your review? You better be. To start with, I wouldn't use the actual numbers (7) instead of saying the letter-forms (seven). The rule is to spell out single digit numbers, but you can use the actual numbers for anything in double digits or higher.

Another thing, your grammar is off. It's not very clear and your story is hard to understand because of it. I would highly suggest reading over your story before posting and think about getting a beta-reader to help you out with that.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Volcanix769 View Post
In one warm summer day in New Bark Town, peace has been quite refreshing for the community. The bright and warm exciting ball of light woke up and greeted the morning with it's warm inviting rays of light. Bird Pokemon, such as Starly, flew happily with their piercing cries.
The first sentence of this paragraph is a bit awkward itself. I'd think most towns would be peaceful, I mean it's not like your setting is a few months after wartime or something. Also, I bolded two of the verbs because your tense agreement is not the same. "Has" is present while "greeted" is past-tense, so stick with one tense to avoid any kind of confusion.

"It's" is incorrect because that would be the conjugation of "it is", so the correct form would be "its" because that form would exhibit possession, which is what you're trying to get across here. And I have a bit of a problem when you describe the sun. The sun is just the sun. It's the same on most days, with the exceptions of solar eclipses, and it doesn't really need a description. It's perfectly fine to just say, "The sun shone brightly down on the tranquil town."

Quote:
Originally Posted by Volcanix769 View Post
And Grass-type Pokemon woke up from their shrubs, trees and grasses and they all walked to the brightest ray from the sun and showered in the sunlight. Water Pokemon swam happily with their colony.
I bolded "and" because it needs a comma before it. When you list things, there needs to be a comma before the and otherwise the meaning literally changes to "trees and grass".

I don't really like that you don't use specifics for the Pokemon. You just use their generic typings. It's less descriptive and takes away from the image. I mean the Grass Pokemon could be a herd of Venusaur and the Water Pokemon could be Wailords. Try to use specifics to help your imaging.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Volcanix769 View Post
In a local residents house, there lies a boy sleeping on his bed. He rotates around his bed, snoring loudly like a bear. The yellow rays that were generated from the sun penetrated through the sealed windows and it shone at his face. It tingled his face slightly, at the point where he arose out of his bed.
"Resident's" is the correct form because it should show possession, whereas the current form you're using is just the plural. And you can stop describing the sun, I mean you've said something about the sun in almost every single paragraph leading up to this one. It's overkill. We get it, it's morning and the sun is happy. Once is enough.

This paragraph is also in the third person. The rest of your story is in the first person. That is very bad. You should not change from the point of views so frequently, even more in the same chapter. I know notable exceptions, but the narrator doesn't even change. It's still the boy. Leave it as the first, since most of it is in the first. It's confusing so please be consistent when you write.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Volcanix769 View Post
This is boy is me, 3 years ago. My name is Blake and this is the day when I receive a Cyndaquil so I can be like my dad, but he's not there since he left us when I was 5.
The first sentence has one too many verbs. And the verbs aren't even in the correct tense. You're saying that the kid is the narrator three years prior, but he's speaking in the present tense? Think logically. Use past tense verbs such as "was". The "when" is also unnecessary.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Volcanix769 View Post
My mom wants me to be like my dad since that he won 3 Pokemon Leagues out of the 5 regions of Kanto, Johto, Hoenn, Sinnoh, and Unova. 5 minutes after I stretched and brushed my teeth gently like my mom tells me, I then came out of my bathroom and walked to my closet.
Take out "that". Also, I don't get the point of the second bolded part. It seems very pointless. Actually, it is very pointless.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Volcanix769 View Post
I then pull my Marill sleepwear and put on my jeans and yellow shirt. Then I put on my brown gloves and goggles and then walked downstairs to the kitchen.
Pull could simply mean he pinched a bit of fabric and stretched his arm out, then he dressed on top of it. Pulled doesn't mean he took it off. Use a better verb. And I thought it was rude that Blake is putting on gloves and goggles when he's eating breakfast. I mean who wears that indoors? Think about it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Volcanix769 View Post
As I walked down to the cabinet, I then got my Corn Flakes cereal and stuffed it at my mouth quickly as possible so I can leave early.
You already use "as" so you don't need to use "then". It's overkill man. And for the second bold, it should be "in" since "at" would imply he's just throwing cereal at his mouth and probably not eating most of it. What a pig.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Volcanix769 View Post
I choked for 20 seconds until I managed to swallow them all in my stomach. Then I heard about something going on in TV, I got up from my seat and walked down to the living room, seeing my curious mother watching old clips about my dad winning in the Unova league 20 something years ago.
Yes, when you swallow your food follows the digestive track to eventually go to the stomach. That's kind of common knowledge. And there's nothing curious about watching TV.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Volcanix769 View Post
In the video, it showed the Champion Alder against my dad. In this battle, it was my dad's Charizard against Alder's Druddigon.
"Char, use Seismic Toss. Finish this once and for all," Dad commanded.
Char nodded in response. He flew down from the sky like a meteor and grabbed Druddigon.
"Druddigon, use Thunder Fang to release yourself," Alder yelled.
Druddigon tried biting Char, but Char squeezed him harder. It was like a balloon being deflated, Druddigon was losing power the tighter Char held on. Char then flew up higher toward the sky and rotated counterclockwise. As Char dived hard toward the ground, he let go of Druddigion, forcing him to slam into the arena.
Space out the dialogue. Space out the dialogue. Space out the dialogue. It's easier to read and if it's not spaced out, it looks flat out messy. In addition, this is the freaking championship battle. Sure they're watching it, but watching sports still brings you some kind of emotion, adrenaline at least. Seriously, put it some more avid descriptions. Battles aren't exactly static like in the games. Fiction can brings this out, and that's your job. Convey the battle scene to bring in the emotions of the battle. Blake's mother could watch with her dull eyes because she was watching it all night. She jumps whenever "Char" gets hit. Whatever it is, make it interesting. Describing attacks and people yelling commands are not the only things going on in a battle. I'm going on a massive rant here, but I hope you get the point.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Volcanix769 View Post
A fume of dust covered the arena. After the dust settled, the scene showed Druddigon lying on his back, his mouth slightly bleeding.
"Fume of dust" is weak. And I don't really associate fume with dust. I think cloud of dust sounds better. And "slightly bleeding" is also a weak description. You could say a few of his teeth chipped off and stuck into his gums, blood rushing from his wounds.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Volcanix769 View Post
The announcer releases a saline water, erupting from his skin. Then he grabs his microphone and puts it at the base of his mouth. "Incredible! This is the 3rd time we see this young 15 year old boy winning at the Pokemon League. Give a round of applause with Rald and Char the Charizard!"
Then he grabs his microphone and puts it at the base of his mouth. "Incredible! This is the 3rd time we see this young 15 year old boy winning at the Pokemon League. Give a round of applause with Rald and Char the Charizard!"
I hope you realized you just repeated the dialogue here. Might want to delete the second dialogue set.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Volcanix769 View Post
Everyone cheered, with their happily cheers emitting out of their mouthes
Where else would cheers come from? Their socks? Common sense... Also, try not to just go off and list a Pokemon team. That's boring. You don't have to say anything because I'd think they'd be knocked out or something.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Volcanix769 View Post
Seeing this from the TV, my mom then shuts it off, crying. "Oh Rald, why are you gone....... please come back..." She then places her ringed palm at her face, crying loudly.
That's a bit too emotional. Blake's father left him when he was about five, and he's around ten now, right? So his mother should have gotten over it by now. If not, at least seeing a shrink every week or something.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Volcanix769 View Post
On their journey, dad and Charmander grew to become quite the pair.
"Dad" is capitalized because you're using "Dad" as a name and not the pronoun.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Volcanix769 View Post
He managed to win by recongizing his own shortcomings and using that to prevail.
Recognizing.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Volcanix769 View Post
2 years later, I was born, after that, my mom yet gave up battling and started taking care of me. Before my dad left, he tells me amazing stories on how he goes through his amazing adventures. He used to be a noob back when he was in Kanto until he realized of how to fully bond and understand Pokemon.
Take out "yet". Also, noob? Really? You can use much better words, like rookie or amateur. But noob?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Volcanix769 View Post
This caused Char to evolve into a Charizard in Johto after he lost in his big mistake in the Pokemon League.
This part was confusing, for me at least. The Pokemon League is so generic and you said his dad traveled everywhere. This is just too vague. And I don't think he lost in a big mistake, I think you meant tournament or battle.

I thought it was odd that Blake didn't take his Elekid. You did say it was his and all, so why not take that instead? Trainers don't always need the standard starters. And how is there an Oshawott when this is in Johto? Keep it in canon please.

I'll repeat this: read over your story. Check it for all the basic mechanics and make sure it's good enough to read. Your spelling is mostly fine, I found only one mistake. But the grammar can only look better really. I'd say get a beta-reader to help you out with the grammar and your plot. One thing too common is that people always try to describe the protagonist's pasts right off the bat.

Blake isn't smart is he? He let out the fire-breathing monster right after it tried burning down a laboratory. Genius there, pure genius. And when did he find a leash? Sounds weird. And how could he carry him if he couldn't drag him? That doesn't make much sense either.

Your descriptions are screaming for more. Comparing a Pokemon to a totem pole is rather farfetched. Cyndaquil's attitude better be explained, I mean it's weird that such a young Pokemon would behave that way. Most starters are usually born and raised in captivity, raised to be a starter Pokemon. They're starters for a reason, so they'd best be more mild and friendlier than other Pokemon. At least that's what I get from some canon. There are exceptions and all.

One more point then I swear I'm done. You write in the first person, and that narrative is pretty much perfect for conveying imagery. When readers read through someone else's eyes, they can see and hear everything. They can taste the moldy pizza they were forced to eat because of a dare. You know why they can? Because you're telling them how. So do your job, describe things in a way that other people would think almost exactly what you think. You should also add more emotions into Blake. He's pretty bland and seemed flat to me. "I felt bad" is like a cheater's way out.

I alos suggest that you head over to the Writer's Lounge and check out a few of the guides there. You'll see them easily enough; they're all sticky. I'll see your progress on this so please try to use my advice and improve on your story!
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  #3    
Old October 23rd, 2012, 12:17 PM
Volcanix769's Avatar
Volcanix769
Known as the Quilava Guy!
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: NJ in the U.S
Gender: Male
Nature: Careful
Chapter 2: Childhood Conflict

As I briskly dashed out of my house, all I can feel is nothing but a very painful twist excruciating my stomach. I began to search every nook and cranny around the whole New Bark Town in this unbearably scorching sun that's touching the trees, the houses, and the whole vicinity in the middle of July.

As I cautiously try to walk into the bushes, I instantly noticed a soft, depressed whimpering cry cascading out of it. But it's almost identical to Quil's own cry.

"Breee... breee..." My mouth slowly opened as I began to feel extremely amazed of how it might be Quil.

"Bingo." I said, quietly snickering while shrouding my face with my palm. base of my head. I leaped into the bushes as I harshly plucked off the weak strands of grass one by one. But all I see in my perception is one dangerously troubled Jumpluff, glancing at me with an infuriated expression for menacingly eradicating her home.

"Dang it!" I loudly screamed while my saliva splashing on the enraged Jumpluff, making it even more angry by the second as it viciously puffs out a cloudy dust on top of my head. Then I pushed the cotton balled creature in frustration, plunging it to a tree. Leaves elegantly fluttered down to her weary, semiconscious body, concealing her whole presence as Starly and Swablu loudly squawked as they flew out of the enormous tree.

I got up on my 2 legs and stormed away from the beaten up Jumpluff. Then I loudly stomped the ground with full force, causing the ground to let out a big, bashing thud to the whole town.

"It's my fault that I had to take in this Pokemon! Why did I take it in with me!?" I loudly cried.

I grasped on my sleek red hair and forcefully tried to pull it off. But I heard numerous faint taps trying to approach towards me. I let go of my bushy hair and turned around. Suddenly I noticed that it was Jackson with his curious Oshawott glancing at me oddly, wondering what the heck is going on.

"Blaze! What happened to you!?" He yelled as he desperately tried to sprint towards me.

I got out my brush while I try to manage my bushy shaggy hair. Seeing that he reached towards where I am, I gulped with my blank blue eyes taking a look on his serious demeanor.

"Oh hey Jackson... I really don't want to say it..."

"Come on, you can tell me right!? We're best buddies bro!" He loudly pleaded.

Isolation began to fill me up even more when I heard him yell as it felt like if he really wants to do something about it. He's always like that way, so I can't cease him from doing so.

Then I put my head down, feeling more isolated with stress pouring inside my mind, filling it with negativity. "Ohhhh..." I heavily groaned. I then breathed in and out until I was finally prepared.

Noticing that Jackson is getting impatient as time begins to run by, I drugged my head back up as I gulped and harshly let out faint whimpers.

"Ok, so I raged once again, but only at Quil! He's never cooperative and he never gave me and Buzz a chance, all he does is push us aside like if we're enemies! He's really such a pain in the butt!" I screamed. Tears began to quickly run through my stressed, wearied out eyes .

Jackson lightly grabbed both of his arms at my shoulders. I looked quite dazed on what he's attempting to do next.

"Ok, you shouldn't have done that. You are taking this too far. From what I saw from analyzing Quil's whole personality, he's obviously have something going on. You don't understand how he feels since all you do is constantly try to talk to him. All you need to do is understand how Quil feels. Sorry if that was not enough, but I had to say it out of my mouth." Then he lets go of my vibrating shoulders, seeing that it's quickly began racing through my thoughts.

I brushed off my face, feeling somewhat encouraged. "Uhh... thanks Jackson... Anyways you sort of remind me of my dad when he had to help me with my problems back when we're having school. Still I wish that he was here."

Jackson slowly walked away, passing me as if he were a ghost. "Ok, let's find Quil together."

I became startled on what he just did and said. "What?"

He quickly turns around, having a cold stare on his face. "I said, let's find Quil together. You want to make up for what you did right? You chose to bond with that poor fella. If you don't try to solve it, that problem will still persist."

I felt a pain twist inside my stomach. Suddenly it's like if Jackson was my dad. "Wait I'm coming!" I said as I quickly dashed along with him.

3 hours had quickly flew by. Me and Jackson still persist to locate Quil, but no traces of that fiery demon has been detected.

"It's no use, maybe we should just give up." Jackson wearily said as he let out a wearily yawn escaping through his mouth.

I sighed with a hout puff full of weariness as well. "Maybe you're right. He's gone."

When we were about to depart, we hear faint, whimpering cries reaching through our heads as they began ringing through them. Our eyes were in shock as we instantly recognize that weak cry. We then turn around and we glanced at Quil. He blankly stares at the tree while sitting on the weak grass.

Jackson then lightly placed his arm on top of my shoulder, staring at me with a serious look. "Maybe it's the time that you should make up for this. He may forgive you."

I nodded my head with a determined face on me. I slowly approached to him, feeling no traces of fear in my heart.

"Hey." I calmly greeted.

Quil was instantly grieved. He quickly turns around towards me and stares at me with my clenched fists and my terrifying gaze that points out to his whimpering, cowardly face.

"Quil..." The flickering, pointly flame instantly combusts out of his back as he scampers while he terribly shivers.

Suddenly, a memory quickly rushed back into his head. He remembers as if he had a peaceful family once. His father was unable to be found, but his mother, which is a Typhlosion, was taking over the role as of being a support to Quil. He would remember being in his mother's warm, cozy arms while they sleep under Cyndaquil Cave.

He was pure once until a terrible storm that had terrible, angry winds with furious amounts of rain. Not to mention the crackles of lightning heavily piercing through the dark, unassuming clouds. It forcibly separates him and his mother. The light he once had was gone.

He would always scamper around the Cyndaquil Cave area desperately locate his mother, walking in consecutive circles feeling nothing but a terrible void in his lonely, depressed mind. He would see other Pokemon being very happy with their good families. That makes him more gloom every time he glances at their smiles and laughs once they unnoticably pass through him.

Everyone then starts to know that he has no family, so they harshly bully and soullessly abuse him around, even trainers will try to desperately capture him as he quickly runs away from them, trying to escape from these cruel, evil people. That made him what he was.

The more I try to approach to Quil, the more he quickly steps back to the tree as the leaves loudly rustle around.

I slowly breathed in and out until I was prepared. "Look... I'm really sorry for what I did, really I am. I didn't want you to get angry at me, and I just want to be your friend. What I said was truly uncalled for and..." Running out of words, I quickly gnawed away my nails as I experience extreme nervousness.

Feeling extremely touched about what I was trying to say, he briskly ran towards my chest, roughly snugging me as I began to feel his rough head beginning to ache my chest.

"Huh?" I quickly grasped the excited Quil away from my reddening chest. It seems as if he accepts me as a friend now.

It's was 6:30. As I pack up all my belongings in my blue backpack, I dashed out of the house towards Jackson's.

"Jackson, you want to walk together with me and Quil?' I yelled as I loudly punched the sleek, white door.

The door slowly lets out an unpleasant creak as it slowly opens. Jackson walks out towards me. "Yes I am." Then he glances at Quil letting out a bright smile to his somewhat blank face while he's being on top of my shoulder. "I see that he admires you now."

We turned around and was about to depart out of out home. Suddenly I began to hear small taps expectantly approaching behind me.

"Huh?" We quickly turn around and glanced down on out sneakers, but it's Buzz, my Elekid. He loudly whimpers and cries on my sneakers as he greatly clings on both of my legs.

"Buzz, what's wrong?" I asked.

"Be Bee be Bee Bee Be!" He asked.

Then I grabbed Buzz and lightky placed him on my left shoulder as I smiled. "Oh, so you want to be with me. You can't stay alone and you refuse to see me leave you behind." I turned around to my standard looking home

"I wonder if Mom's not going to cry..." I quietly said, feeling a bit sentimental.

"Uhhh... Blake, it's getting late, and we have to hurry to Cherrygrove."

I then looked at my Pokegear. "It's 6:37! We have to go!"

"Yeah!"

As we run out of our home that we both grew up for our whole life, both of our mothers glance out of the windows inside my house, watching the pretty sunset that shines the entire vicinity.

"They grew up, have they?" Jackson's mother said.

My mother then looked at my picture of me as a 5 year old smiling with my dad patting me. "Yes they have. First, Rald was gone, now he is..." She then breaks down to tears, harshly crying when she conceals her face with her palms.

Jackson's mother annoyingly stares at mine, feeling worried about how she's taking this departure too seriously. "Oh..." She lets out a bright, redeeming smile as she turns towards the window, watching as we get smaller and smaller until he fade away of her sight by the bright beautiful sunset as Starly and other Pokemon fly past the sun as they sing across the beautiful sun.

There begins our new adventure.
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Last edited by Volcanix769; November 15th, 2012 at 06:41 PM.
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Old October 27th, 2012, 11:45 AM
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Volcanix769
Known as the Quilava Guy!
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: NJ in the U.S
Gender: Male
Nature: Careful
Chapter 3: Vivid Attention

2 long, consecutive days had flew by since we escaped from our adoring home for the very last time. We were peacefully residing at the enormous, mansion sized Pokémon Center in Cherrygrove City at the time.

I remember that every singly night, all of us, even out Pokemon we have would glance at the pretty, twinkling, glimmering stars. They happily said hi to us as they start to release their light in the pretty night sky whenever we get to amusingly glance at them whenever we were on the balcony of the Pokémon Center.

But whenever Quil gets to stare at the glistening, yellow stars, he wouldn't even have a happy frown on his face. He would quickly put his head down and would faintly cry as I would began to feel disheartening affected by this depressingly emotional feeling that Quil's experiencing.

"Quil..." I faintly said out of my mouth as it fades towards Quil's ears.

Quil would quickly dash outside of the Pokémon Center soon after, but would return the next following day. Maybe me and Quil are starting to bond at the time, but I still don't understand on how he is like. But that was just 3 years ago.

The next following day, I slowly got up of the bed and let out a loud yawn as I slowly stretched out my arms. But I heard a medium, bursting explosion coming right outside of the Pokémon Center.

"Huh!?" Then I heard various amounts of delirious bawling come out outside as well. I briskly rushed outside and saw 2 young trainers in this interesting battle, but since I glance out of a mirror DOWN to the bottom, all the people and the Pokemon appear quite misty judging from the obscure window.

"Jackson, you got to see this!" I excitedly screamed as I turned around to his bed, but he's not there.

"Maybe he's there with the crowd." I said, then I yawned again as I concealed my mouth with my palm. I briskly rushed into the bathroom and quickly changed out of my Marill sleepwear to my regular clothes.

I walked to my shaggy, undressed bed, with my footsteps having faint taps coming from them. I stood in front of Buzz and lightly poked on his tender, stiff eyelid. "Poke." I quietly whispered on his ear, "Hey Buzz, it's time to go."

Buzz slowly opened his eyes and glanced at my face as his eyes became less obscure. "Beee..." He joyously jumped on to my shoulder as I began to smile at him.

As I ran out of the Pokémon Center, what I am seeing is a huge, untamed crowd of screaming, wild people that's shrouding the 2 trainers and their Pokémon.

"Ughhh..." I heavily puffed out an unpleasant groan. I cannot believe on what's was happening as I began to look at the irresistible crowd as they loudly escaped out a vicious scream and consecutively jumping and swinging out their arms. I dived into the berserk crowd and consecutively shoved them out of the way one by one.

"Excuse me. Pardon me. I need to move." I politely asked as I pushed the disoriented people around, until I saw Jackson motionlessly standing at the front of the oblivious crowd.

I slowly walked towards him. "Hey Jackson."

Jackson quickly jumped as he turned around towards me, feeling a bit surprised by my unexpected entry. "Oh hey Blake. I'm just seeing these 2 people battle."

I glanced at the 2 determined trainers, seeing that they are staring at each other in a determined look with their Pokémon. I lost my attention and quickly glanced at one of them having a shiny Eevee with glistening bright red sparkles traveling and shining around her body.

"What!? This Eevee seems to be one of the rarest shinies I've ever seen!" I quickly took out the Pokédex and scanned this Eevee's information.

"Eevee, the Evolution Pokémon. Eevee has an unstable genetic makeup that suddenly mutates due to the environment in which it lives. Radiation from various stones and its environment causes this Pokémon to evolve."

"Wow... And I wonder about this trainer that owns her..." Then I lost my attention of this special Eevee as I look up to her trainer. Suddenly it felt as if my heart was starting to ache with a weird sensation as it briskly pounds and pounds.

From what I am glancing at, I see a girl with a long, beautiful blond hair dancing up and down by the light breeze of wind that's traveling through the whole town. I see her light brown eyes that brightly glisten by the pretty light sun that's inviting it's bright warm rays of light to the whole town.

I also got to see her light face with her lips smiling with a determined look. I can also see her wearing a short sleeved purple shirt with her black and shady jeans almost covering her legs and with her purple sneakers. She's very appealing, and she appears to look at least fourteen years old.

Jackson looked down towards my face, seeing that there's something going on with me. "Uhh... Blake?" He quickly waves his hand around my petrified face, but no avail.

Now, the girl points towards the boy's Aipom. "Jordi, use Bite!" Jordi nodded with a determined grin. She leaped up and she quickly opened her mouth, revealing precise, sharp fangs emerging out of it. Numerous amounts of sweat rushes through the guy's body as he trembles harshly with his teeth clenched. "Aipom, counter it with Double Hit!"

Aipom revealed his tail. As it glows into a light pinkish figure, Aipom somersaulted out to the sky and was about to do a surprise attack! The girl gasped to see that Jordi was oblivious of that Aipom plunging down behind her to defeat her.

She lashes out her arm and then clenched her fist while having a serious demeanor. "Jordi, jump up and bite Aipom's tail!"

Jordi turned around as she looked up and saw that Aipom with a devious smile and it's tail arm clenched. She then dodged the Aipom with a Quick Attack. The Aipom plunged down to the ground. As he desperately tries to get up, Jordi forcibly bites the Aipom's tail.

"AIIII!" The Aipom tries to shove Jordi's face away, but no use as she continues to desperately cling on as blood quickly runs out inaccessibly of the hand-like end of the tail.

"Aipom!" The boy loudly screamed, feeling worried.

Suddenly I hear various people getting all frantic from seeing how weak this Aipom is, especially this trainer.

"What a weak Aipom!"

"This is the worst trainer I've seen!"

"She could whip his butt!"

"This guy is really an amateur, is he?" I asked when I turned towards Jackson.

He's glancing on the weak Aipom's getting stuck. "Uh huh."

Jordi then launched the Aipom into the sky and jumped up to the sky. She used Quick Attack as she briskly dashed in circles to create a small, dark twister around the Aipom.

She generates a big, dark, and shady Shadow Ball as particles began spawning and clasping together into a big ball as it enlarges. Since it's ready, she then somersaulted quickly and launched at the treacherous twister, creating an very big explosion.

"Urggg!" I try to put on my goggles to shield my tender blue eyes as various bystanders try to cover from the huge blast. Puffy clouds of dust that heavily fumed the area quickly fades away in just an instant, seeing that Aipom is unable to stand up as it's tail has 2 big holes pierced right through.

The boy let out a loud gasp as he runs towards the unconscious Aipom. People cheered wildly as they jumped and hugged each other, even random guys.

"That was strong for an Eevee, am I right?" Jackson said as he looked at my face, seeing that I'm still in a trance with my mouth wide open.

He glanced down at Buzz, quickly winking his left eye towards him. "Buzz, you know what to do."

Buzz happily nodded and used Thundershock to break me out of the deep, tender infautiation. "URRRHHHRRRHGGGGGHHHH!" I harshly trembled, then I had a cripsy, dark, and smoked body.

"Blake, you're all right?" He asked.

I shake my head as smoke begins to puff out of my charred body. "Uhhh... yess... But Jackson, you know what we should do?" I happily asked, filled with zest.

"What should we do?" He curiously asked.

"Maybe we should train in order to be as strong as that pretty girl that we seen!" I happily said as I began hopping. Jackson frowned in annoyance, feeling a bit uneasy as I glance at his troubled face. "Ok..."

30 minutes have gone by. Then me and Jackson slowky walked to an empty, clear spot around the shore. Buzz slowly walked until the big, tough tree and started to fall asleep as he faintly snores. As I began to hear the rustling leaves from the various trees and the euphoria of waves clash into the motionless ground, I quickly got out my Poke Ball out of my pocket, feeling a bit determined as I was about to be like that girl I saw half an hour ago.

"Quil, come out!" I yelled as I quickly threw out the red Poké Ball. The transparent red energy blasts out in a quick red zap as it quickly plunges into the ground and quickly reforms and morphs into Quil.

"Cyndaquill!" He loudly cheered as erupted his glimmering, red flames in excitement.

Jackson took out his Poké Ball out of his blue backpack and tossed it as it's heavily penetrated by the bright sun. "Dance, Typhoon!" The Poke Ball let out a blue, glistening energy and quickly reformsinto Typhoon.

"Oshawoottttt!" He happily jumps with his eyes closed as he is lashing out his scalchop aimlessly.

Jackson became a bit uneasy of this situation, so he said: "Uhhh... Blake? Is it a good idea to send out a Fire-Type like that against a Water-Type like Typhoon?"

I softly let out a chuckle with a determined grin on my face. "It doesn't matter. What matter is how we battle."

Jackson exhaled with annoyance and showed a stressed look on his face. "Fine by me."

"Quil, use Smokescreen!" I loudly command as I lash out my hand.

Quil jumped on top of Typhoon. He puffed out a big fume of smoke, making Jackson and Typhoon oblivious towards our actions as they try to look around the obscure area.

"What? I can't see!" Jackson's eyes instantly became irritated by the powerful fume as it furiously began twitching. "ARRRGGGHHHH!" Typhoon looks around to see if Quil's around, but suddenly he was badly struck by little, strong embers right on his back.

"Wott!" He quickly fell down face flat. "Typhoon!" Jackson yelled. Then Quil quickly slammed Typhoon by a surprise Quick Attack. Typhoon was harshly flung into the deep, rich, blue sea as the waves quickly sway along with the battered Typhoon.

The smoke cleared away in just an instant, then Jackson glances at my determined expression and with Quil on his 4 limbs with his flames moderately flared up.

"Huh. Maybe these two are good together." Then he turns around and glances at Typhoon quickly rushing out of the water as he desperately tries to breathe as his lungs began to ache along with his cinched back.

Suddenly as we were about to continue our battle, we noticed that same pretty girl with her shiny Eevee slowly walking to us. I was immediately sucked into a trance by her lovely, flowery aroma reaching into my nostrils and her physical presence. I quickly align my legs together as I harshly shiver in timidness. "Hey..."

Suddenly I turn around and saw Typhoon up at the sky, diving down like a jet as he was about to slice Quil by his elongated scalchop.

My mouth was wide open with an astonished facial expression. "Quil, use Quick Attack to dodge the hit!" I yelled as I quickly point my finger to identify Quil. Quil instantly vanished in sight, leaving no traces of his presence. Typhoon once again missed and plunged down to the ground, unable to get up. "Oshaa..."

Then he was suddenly struck by large, powerful embers right at his back. "OSHHAAAA!" Typhoon fell down at a loud thud, unable to battle as his back is harshly cinched with large quantities of smoke puffing out consecutively.

Jackson strongly stomped his foot, feeling agitated as all of us are astonished by his serious demeanor.

"Blake! That's not fair of how your Cyndaquil won! He's fast enough to do so and I don't see on how a Fire-Type would beat Typhoon when we're at the same level!"

I trembled heavily as I point something behind me. "Hey Jackson... that girl we saw in the morning..."

"Yeah... so..." He strangely questions.

"She's right behind me..."

Jackson walked behind me and saw the girl with both of her arms locked together. "Oh, hi. Did you just see..." I turned around and looked at her.

She made a cute, adoring smile on her face with her eyes closed, displaying her precise long eyelashes. "Yeah I did. Anyways that battle you guys did was pretty cool! Even on how strategic you two are!"

"Thanks... And can we hang out with you..." I nervously asked as I dangerously tremble.

"Sure. You can, I'd love to!"

My face lighted up with timidness with a bright shade of red, making the rest wonder on what's happening to me.

"Blake, are you..." Jackson asked.

"Oh, yes I am!" I quickly jumped with a very creepy smile. Later, me and Jackson was walking with the girl towards her nearby house while I was holding her light, soft, warm hand. "Uhhh..." I nervously moaned, but no one heard me. I turned my face away her's, smiling with my blushes appearing around my face. Quil, Buzz, and Typhoon was happily walking with Jordi behind us.

"So, Jordan. Tell us about your Eevee." I said.

She turns her cute face towards mine as I slightly move my head back.

"Ok, so I got Jordi when I was 10 like almost 4 years ago by my grandfather. She was once a quiet and scared Eevee until we actually began to understand each other. But I chose to not evolve her and keep her the cute way she is."

She turns her head to Jordi, smiling with her eyes quickly winking at her's. Jordi lest out a pure smile and turns back to Quil.

"Maybe I shouldn't evolve Quil, but he doesn't have to be cute." I timidly said as I shake.

Jackson then intervened. "Hey, is that your house?" He pointed at the medium sized standard blue, white mixed colored house.

"Uh yes." She said.

As all of us entered in her beautiful abode. It has a very clean living room along with a chrome-like TV that looks like it's very new. We see a happy, somewhat young woman coming out and randomly shakes my hand, which caused my body to flap like paper being pushed harshly by the troubled wind. "Ohohoho" I yelled as I was being shaken around.

"It's so nice of Jordan to invite some friends! I'm her mother!" Then she looks down and sees Quil shaking on my leg, feeling very intimidated and used Leer.

Ms. Cook was oblivious of the attack and grabbed Quil towards her creepy, happy demeanor. "Oh, this is a cute Cyndaquil that you have!" She then points her finger and tickles Quil's tummy in a circular direction.

"Quil..." Quil felt sick to his stomach, but the mother showed no concern. Quil's cheeks quickly inflated up and coughed out black, rotting smoke towards her face.

She brushes it off and still laughs. "Oh, this is such a cute Cyndaquil!"

Jordan then quickly grasped Quil out of her mother's destructive hands and placed it on mine, causing me to blush when I felt her smooth skin brushing on mine. "Ohhhh..." My eyes began shaking when I saw her serious face directly glancing at mine, causing my reddening face to become even brighter.

"Let's go up to my older sister." She said as she turned around, revealing her long beautiful hair, flapping up like a bird's wing when she walks up the stairs.

Jackson then snaps his fingers very loud, causing me to regain sense. "Blake, let's go."

"Oh, yeah... right."

We then walked up the stairs and stared at Jordan's sister texting her friends with her Pokégear with her legs on top of each other on her bed, as if it seems as if she's entirely focusing her attention on it.

"Sis, this is Blake, the legendary trainer's son, and his friend Jackson." She said as she puts her arm on both of my shoulders.

She looked up and blankly stared at both of us, but she sees me badly shivering and blushing. "Hey... does that kid like you?"

I turned around from everyone's curious faces, as I began to feel extreme cowardliness pouring into my well being. Jordan turns around, seeing me crouching down and shivering harshly while feeling intense isolation. "I think he does."

Jackson then walked towards me. "Blake, I knew why you wanted to be close to her. I KNOW IT." his face then had a very wide smile as he chuckles when he pats his back on mine.

"STOP IT!" I yelled as I brushed off his hand coming towards me. Then we hear various amounts of painful shrieking coming from the outside. My pupils shrunk as a twisting, painful sensation was created in my stomach.

"What the hell!" a random voice harshly screamed loudly.

I quickly dashed towards the window and took a glance outside, seeing smoke coming out of the Pokemon Center. I got a glimpse of various trainers swarming towards it as I hear various screeching coming from them.

"Let's go guys!" I briskly bolted out of the door as Jordan's hair was violently flapping around by the result. Jackson placed Typhoon on his shoulder and quickly ran off as well.

Jordan turned around to her sister, feeling a bit mature and somewhat concerned of our safety. She said: "I'd better follow them, they are 10 after all, yet I'm like almost fourteen."

Her sister flaps her long nailed hand around, feeling uninterested. "Yeah yeah, go off. You're ready to handle this one on your own."

This ends when all of us run outside of Jordan's home.
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Last edited by Volcanix769; November 23rd, 2012 at 08:57 PM.
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  #5    
Old November 16th, 2012, 05:58 PM
Volcanix769's Avatar
Volcanix769
Known as the Quilava Guy!
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: NJ in the U.S
Gender: Male
Nature: Careful
NOTE that Jordan is a friend I am with from another website.

Chapter 4: Blinding Sight

As me and Jackson quickly dashed out of Jordan's fine, cozy home, I began to sense of how Jackson's becoming a little discomfited based off of his dismal face as his moderately despondent, blue eyes made me ponder on what they're trying to say.

"Blake, what you think might happen to the Pokemon Center?" He said towards me as we run towards the Pokemon Center.

My face instantly responds in doubt as my tenuous eyes instantly released small droplets of tears as they quickly slither off of my tenuous skin. "I don't know...." I faintly said.

My face instantly responds in doubt as my tenuous eyes instantly released small droplets of tears as they quickly slither off of my tenuous skin. "I don't know...." I faintly said.

In just an instant, we arrived at the Pokemon Center as we tend to see a massive, furious crowd as they angrily bellow in annoyance. Suddenly I was astounded by its terrible condition.

Big clouds of smoke viciously fumed out at the back of the enormous place as small chunks of cracked, clear blue glass quickly began raining down and broke into dust as the trailing wind forcibly swept them away until no traces were found.

Nurse Joy appears to look disturbingly intense as I tend to see her worried expression as she desperately tries to soothe the unpleasant crowd down.

"Please, we are trying to solve this problem." She sadly responded, "Now I ask you to calm down, please." Even though she tried her best to soothe the infuriated crowd, they coldly brushed her useless sentence away as they got even angrier by the second.

This caused Nurse Joy to cringe as she trembled, making her close her legs together when she saw their intimidating grins that made her more intimidated.

"I want Puffy back!" pleaded one little girl.

"You should do something about this, you took care of them right!?" yelled another one.

I slowly walked towards Nurse Joy and lightly tapped her shoulder. She shivered by just a faint tap as she was oblivious, then she turned around and saw me with Quil and Buzz on my shoulder. She quickly moved back because of my sudden appearance, then she settled down.

"Nurse Joy, what happened to the Pokemon Center, and why are those people angry? I said as I was pointing towards them as they released a menacing grin towards Nurse Joy.

As she was seeing this, it instantly made her jump in intimidation. "I don't know. When I was busy trying to take care of some of the Pokemon left in my nursing care, a huge bust came next door to it. Then I ran towards the storage unit of Pokemon… and I saw 2 trainers running off with the Pokemon!"

Suddenly I cringed in shock as my heart began to ache. As I was going to ask her why, suddenly I was disrupted. "I don't know what to do!" she yelled as she loudly cried on her palm.

Jackson slowly walked towards her and leaned his head towards her back. "Nurse Joy, it'll be all right." He kindly said as he began rubbing her back in circles smoothly, trying to release all of the negative, desolate emotions she's experiencing.

As I was painfully glancing at Jackson comforting Nurse Joy, suddenly I hear a faint, girly cry that's nearby.

"Blake!" A girl faintly hollered out.

"Vui!"

I quickly turned around as I was intrigued by that sudden cry. From what I'm seeing, all I view Jordan and Jordi quickly hustled toward us, until they actually stopped towards me.

"Blake," she said as she roughly puffed towards my reddening face, "What is going on at the Pokemon Center?" she asked. Then she quickly got out her small, fresh water battle from her bag and quickly drank it as some of the water streamed out of her mouth.

She lets out a light exhale as I stare at her cute, illuminating face as she perks out her fresh, glossy lips. Then she turned around towards me with a serious look on her face.

"Jordan." I calmly said as I tried breathing, "The Pokemon Center was attacked." I boldly said as I tightly clenched my fists. She let out a quick gasp out of her mouth.

"That's horrible!" She seriously yelled.

Suddenly, we all hear a territorial humming noise as it traveled towards our ear. All of us quickly reacted as our stomachs ached. "Huh?" I said. Then we quickly turned around and saw a young, attractive police woman with long, glassy blue hair as she travels on her black and blue chrome motorcycle.

As she reached towards us, all of us began to feel in suspense as we want to know who this mysterious woman was. She got out of the motorcycle and slowly took off her blue/black striped helmet as she lashed out her long, luscious, light blue hair.

As she opened her light, gleaming blue eyes, she released a serious demeanor that caused the crowd to become a bit intimidated.

"Officer Jenny...." Nurse Joy timidly said.

"I see that they went to you to." Officer Jenny boldly let out.

Nurse Joy became a bit intrigued by that sudden comment as she continuously touched her fingers together. "What do you mean?"

Officer Jenny walked towards her motorcycle and took out a huge packet out of her blue bag. She slowly walked towards Nurse Joy and handed out the packet. Nurse Joy became discomfited on what's happening.

"What is this?" She curiously asked.

Officer Jenny lets out an infuriated smirk all over her face. "Read all of the documents and you can understand."

Nurse Joy curiously took the packets and glanced through them. She felt a mild pain in her stomach as she loudly gasped, making us feel conspicuous.

"Nurse Joy.... What's in that paper?" A boy said.

She slowly showed her overwhelmed face as we tend to gaze our eyes on her.

"So..... Team Earth is up to this....." She faintly said.

Officer Jenny closed her eyes with a cold grin. "Yes. They are a rouge organization that's stealing Pokemon and using them for experiments and who know what else they may use them for?" She said as she puts her hands up, "Oh, and I heard that they are planning on getting a special item somewhere in this region."

I quickly became intrigued as I loudly let out a ghastly puff. "But what are they trying to achieve on this...."

She quickly opened her eyes. "I'm not certain. Their objective remains shady. But like Team Rocket that was disbanded 15 years ago..... they just be stealing Pokemon....."

I became extremely enthusiastic of the situation. I clenched my fists as I put them towards my face with a determined expression on my face. "Let me try to stop them!" I yelled.

Officer Jenny quickly jumped with a troubled expression. She turned around with an intense demeanor that caused me to move back a bit. "Kid, I don't think that you can handle this." She said, "You're too inexperienced."

"But I can handle this! Just leave it to me and let me take care of them!" I loudly screamed. The whole crowd was shocked by my zest as they stopped their bickering.

Furious by my response, Officer Jenny raised up her hand, and she harshly slapped across my face!

"UGGHHH!" I fell down in the long, sleek strands of grass as they tend to uphold me. The various bystanders became intrigued as they gasped by just seeing on what that cold, inconsiderate officer did to me.

"Is that kid all right?"

"I hope he's OK."

I slowly got up as I began to feel the tingling, hot sensation as it popped out of my cheek. It painfully burned as I tend to hold on my face. Jordan quickly ran towards Officer Jenny and tightly grabbed on to her shoulder as she shows an angry smirk.

"Officer Jenny! Why would you do this to him!? He's just a boy!" She painfully shrieked. I turned around as I began to hear the sullen tone of hers bursting out that caused me to feel very ashamed.

Officer Jenny slowly let out a cold puff out of her mouth as she closed her eyes. "Sorry...." She coldly said as she brushed Jordan's hand off of her shoulder. Jordan moved back as she lets out a serious scowl with her teeth clenched.

Officer Jenny gazed at her serious expression as she walked back to her motorcycle. As she glanced on her motorcycle, she said: "I'd better return to the Police Agency to research Team Earth's whereabouts." He got on her motorcycle as she grasped on her helmet.

She grabbed her silky bangs that's close to her tender cheeks along with her illuminating blue hair and rolled all of them up in her helmet as she perks up her sweet, red lips. I blushed a bit as she does this, then she turned around to me with a cold look on her face. "And kid." She seriously said, "You need to face reality."

Suddenly my heart began to feel negative by this response as I tightly grabbed my chest. All of us glanced on her driving away as her long hair tends to wave gracefully by the winds as it illuminates everyone's attention.

Jackson slowly walked towards me with his arms tightly tucked in his pockets. "Blake, are you OK?"

I seriously showed him my intense expression as I start to loudly snarl. "I am OK!" I loudly screamed as I loudly stomped the ground, causing Jackson to move back a bit. "Ok… I'll head to Jordan's house." He quickly trailed off with Typhoon.

Quil and Buzz quickly ran towards me as they tugged on to my blue pants. I looked down at their troubled faces as they faintly whimper.

"Guys, I'm ok...." I slowly walked towards Jordan's house as they continue to desperately cling on to me. I coldly let out a sigh as I moved along.

At 9:33 P.M in the middle of the night while me and Jackson along with the Pokemon was next door to Jordan's room, I instantly woke up as I hear ghastly singing emitting from outside that's probably Noctowl and Hoothoot's singing at nights.

I looked up as I glanced around in the shady darkness and I can barely see that the rest are completely asleep as I tend to hear their faint snoring. I sadly let out a frown as I was looking at this.

I remember that when this happened, I was thinking, like how was I immature? Like I'm who I am and Officer Jenny said that I need to "face reality". Like what does she mean like by that? Then I instantly went back to my peaceful slumber.

The next day, I slowly slumped down the stairs. As the whole family along with the Pokemon was happily munching on their delicious, tasty food, they hear faint noises as they looked at my worn out face, wondering on what's wrong with me.

"Blake.... What happened?" Jordan's mom said.

"I just need to get something…" I faintly let out. Everyone instantly became silent. All I can hear is no sound of munching or chattering uttering out of their mouthes that made me feel uninterested.

So I slowly trailed off to the cabinet and took out the half empty Apple Jack's box. I carelessly dumped all of the cereal to the bowl as some rolled out of the glassy bowl.

I quickly walked back to the guest's room as I stomped out loud busts from the stairs. Feeling sympathy for my not-so joyous personality, Jordan dropped her plate of pancakes and quickly ran up the stairs.

As I was loudly munching Apple Jacks, I hear a loud, unexpected bust come out of the door. "What!?" Suddenly I see Jordan walk into the room with her face having a worried expression.

I nervously wiped off the crumbs off of my slobbered face as I see that she was here. I began to let out a bright red blush on my face, and then I instantly became depressed.

"What is it? Did you want to call me a kid?" I sadly said.

"No.... I just want to apologize." She slowly walked towards me as I began to blush. She sat next towards me with both of her hands between her legs that made me have a… I'm not saying it, because it's very creepy for a 10 ½ year old to face this.

She looked down towards my red face as my mouth is noticeably open for me.

"Listen." She said, "I'm really sorry for me calling you a kid. It's just that, I met people like you before along my 3 year journey. They were rude, inconsiderate, and careless. But you seem to be different in a way. Like you're very ambitious and kind towards your Pokemon, and I really didn't mean to say that."

I felt intrigued by what she said. My face turned even redder as her kind words began ringing through my head. Suddenly I grabbed her as I began whimpering. I tightly hugged her tender body as I shake her. I let go of her as I grabbed on to her tender palms.

"Jordan! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you so much! You're one of the prettiest girls I met, even the nicest! You're very passionate and sweet!" I joyously said.

She elegantly brushed off her unintended, long bang towards her hair as her face lights up a small blush on her rosy cheeks. "Thanks...."

A few hours later, I walked outside into the battlefield as I looked at the crowd gluing their eyes on me with they excited faces. I tend to hear numerous amount of screaming and bawling that made me feel instantly annoyed as I violently shiver. Then I looked up and saw Jordan at the other side, having a smirk on her face.

"So Blake, this is your first battle?" She excitedly said.

"Uhhh...." I glanced around and saw Jackson along with Typhoon waving out large, blue flags having a Cyndaquil's happy face along with my face. I let out a smile as I glanced back at Jordan.

"So, it's 2 on 2. You should make the first move." She said as she directly pointed towards my face.

I began to think. Like Buzz should be a good option, since I kind of want him to battle for a chance….. So I looked down to Buzz as he gazed at my serious look.

"Buzz, you should go first." I boldly said.

"Bee! BEBE!" He happily screamed as he walked, punching his fists together as they create big sparks flying around. Everyone lets out a loud, interested ooo as they were interested by the bright sparks Buzz created. Then some tend to laugh and chuckle on this.

"That Elekid doesn't know on what he's getting in to!"

"I bet Jordan can whip that sorry BUTT of an Elekid!"

Jordan took out her polished Great Ball and lightly touched her lips on it.

"Go Candi!" She elegantly kneels down and gracefully throws out the Poke ball as it covers the bright sun and released a blue, gleaming energy out of it. It quickly morphs into a Lampent that instantly caused my eyes to mislead my vision. Like how was there a Lampent in Johto?

I quickly took out the Pokedex and scanned its information. "Lampent, the Lamp Pokemon. It's only available sucking people spirits that caused its internal flame to fuel up even greater."

I put the Pokedex down, feeling a bit intrigued on how this Lampent seems to be rare in Unova. "I rarely see those around here. I remember various people from Unova tend to move here and migrate. So I guess that it must be from Unova as well."

Jordan lets out an adorable expression on her face as she rubs Candi's head that made her feel a bit joyous of her warm hand as she faintly cooed. "Yes, and I had Candi for at least 2 years." She said.

Everyone, including Jackson, wildly cheered for both of us to see who will win!
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Last edited by Volcanix769; November 17th, 2012 at 10:37 AM.
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