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The Rainbow Connection [LGBTS Club]

Victini

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Welcome to the group Victini!

You never actually mentioned what category you fall under though. Would you care to share it with us? :)


Ooh shucks, my bad... ;;

Uhm, I'm what they call a Gray-A...

But I haven't found myself particularly feeling physical attraction at any point... I'm a little bit wonky. /////////
 
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Ooh, I thought I would go ahead and answer the topic at hand for myself...

I always knew what I was... there was just never a name for it until recently.. and honestly I haven't changed in the slightest, even upon discovering it... I've always been very open about myself in that category. Weirdly enough, no one has ever made a critical remark towards me about it...

.. I feel bad receiving that fortune when many have been way less fortunate...
We don't begrudge you if you had an easy coming out and found acceptance. It's what everyone wants, sure, but if we got mad at you for that we'd be no better than the people who aren't accepting us, you know?
 

Kano Shuuya

→ you're here, aren't you?
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Ooh shucks, my bad... ;;

Uhm, I'm what they call a Gray-A...

But I haven't found myself particularly feeling physical attraction at any point... I'm a little bit wonky. /////////

Oh, interesting, I'd never heard of that term before.

Sounds a bit like me, only I'd say I'm more demisexual..

I don't really care, I've stopped using labels at this point. I'm naturally attracted to females, can mentally crush on guys, and my sex drive is near nothing. XD; I give up on labels.

Also, I wouldn't call yourself wonky, Victini, what you are has a definition so it's just as normal as other definition that we fall under. -w-
 

Phantom1

[css-div="font-size: 12px; font-variant: small-cap
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Labels make things confusing. Try explaining to a parent that you're a biromantic asexual. Go ahead. Try it. They give you funny looks.
 

Victini

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We don't begrudge you if you had an easy coming out and found acceptance. It's what everyone wants, sure, but if we got mad at you for that we'd be no better than the people who aren't accepting us, you know?

Aww... gosh, I feel better after hearing that.

I hope someday everybody can have that... Not just here, but out there as well. ♥



Oh, interesting, I'd never heard of that term before.

Sounds a bit like me, only I'd say I'm more demisexual..

I don't really care, I've stopped using labels at this point. I'm naturally attracted to females, can mentally crush on guys, and my sex drive is near nothing. XD; I give up on labels.

Also, I wouldn't call yourself wonky, Victini, what you are has a definition so it's just as normal as other definition that we fall under. -w-


I-I don't completely fall under my definition, though... I'm still managing to lean more towards asexual, but not completely so...

It really is terribly confusing. ;////;

I don't think you're "wonky" either... Your explanation I can relate to. ^^ I think it's always nice to know you can relate to somebody else!
 

Shining Raichu

Expect me like you expect Jesus.
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Labels make things confusing. Try explaining to a parent that you're a biromantic asexual. Go ahead. Try it. They give you funny looks.

I almost wish I were a biromantic asexual just so I could try this out haha

We don't begrudge you if you had an easy coming out and found acceptance. It's what everyone wants, sure, but if we got mad at you for that we'd be no better than the people who aren't accepting us, you know?

This. I also have some thoughts that are semi-related:

I think the most difficult part of the whole process is coming out to and accepting yourself, and a great deal of the success of coming out to other people is contingent upon that. Of course there are other factors like bigots and parents who want grandchildren etc, but if you can be happy with who you are then I think it decreases the chances of people reacting badly and being happy with who you are allows it not to negatively affect your self-worth if they don't react well; which is incredibly important.

---

ALSO GUYS! There is very little chance any of you are going to care about this, but LGBT rights activist and all-round funnywoman Kathy Griffin IS GETTING HER OWN TALK SHOW!!!! I know this is not huge news but I could seriously not be more excited! Between this and finding out JK Rowling is writing books again, all just seems right with the world.
 

Victini

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This. I also have some thoughts that are semi-related:

I think the most difficult part of the whole process is coming out to and accepting yourself, and a great deal of the success of coming out to other people is contingent upon that. Of course there are other factors like bigots and parents who want grandchildren etc, but if you can be happy with who you are then I think it decreases the chances of people reacting badly and being happy with who you are allows it not to negatively affect your self-worth if they don't react well; which is incredibly important.

I highly agree with this thought...

It's hard for you to be taken down by other's words if you are satisfied with yourself... if you take no shame, it's hard for what others think to bother you.. I guess that's a part of why no one never tried to with me...

It makes a lot of sense if you really think about it...

ALSO GUYS! There is very little chance any of you are going to care about this, but LGBT rights activist and all-round funnywoman Kathy Griffin IS GETTING HER OWN TALK SHOW!!!! I know this is not huge news but I could seriously not be more excited! Between this and finding out JK Rowling is writing books again, all just seems right with the world.

Oh my goodness! Hooray! Somebody who supports groups like these is getting an opportunity to speak to the world~!

This is definitely a spectacle to behold~. I will certainly tune in for her show. :3 I'm really excited too!!
 

-ty-

Don't Ask, Just Tell
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Okay, I have a personal and irrational hatred of bisexuals!! lmao (that point is sarcastic for the most part ;)

So, I either get sexual propositions from them (let me mind you they always have girlfriends) or they want to date me and girls too. Also, they all seem to really be just closeted gay guys, because really...if you were attracted to men and women you wouldn't have to go through the issues that gay and transgender people face. Ugh, I am sorry about the rant, I am sure that the bisexual people I have met do not speak for any of you on here, or for the vast majority of bisexual people in general, lol.

So I have a follow-up question...
Why doesn't a bisexual person simply just date those of the opposite sex?
(Why go through all of the issues that gay/trans people face if it could be avoided.)


I guess I am still under the assumption that most "bi" people are gay, as many other people also believe. It may just be a misconception, and it's probably not completely true, but I know it is true for many bisexual individuals.
 

TwiDragon

The fun shawl be doubled!
367
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^I'm polysexual, which is kind of a branch name from bisexual.

So I'm going to give my personal response to you.

I'm always open to love from anyone. I find myself attracted to guys and girls; sexually and emotionally. I can imagine myself with another male the rest of my life just as much as I can with a girl.
I don't care if there are some issues to face. Love is love, and I don't need gender to put me off.

I can say that I have had male crushes and female crushes. I'm sexually attracted to both genders. I have had girlfriends and boyfriends (Not trying to brag :x ) I'm fine with who I am. If I'm full out gay or full out straight, then so be it. I don't care, I love who I do~
 

Shining Raichu

Expect me like you expect Jesus.
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I think a lot of bisexual people would just opt to date the opposite sex for that very reason; it's easier, and they can escape any issues that being different in this world might bring. But in the end I think it depends on the person they fall for. I've always been of the opinion that if you like boys and girls equally, then it comes down to the person you fall in love with, rather than what's in their pants.

I think the problem for you though is our age. There is a lot of promiscuity and experimentation with younger people, and a lot of the time people just want your body rather than you. I've learned to just enjoy it while I'm young and not worry so much about finding a relationship. If one happens then that's fantastic, but there's plenty of time.
 

Oryx

CoquettishCat
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Well, I feel like that's the same as asking "why doesn't X person date Y person". Why don't you just date Andy, ty? It would make your life so much easier, no more awkwardness of trying to find a date, you wouldn't have to worry about how people saw you since it's online, etc. But you have your reasons for not proposing to Andy right here, right? (inb4 you proposing to Andy) Bisexual the way I see it is just the capacity for attraction to someone of either sex. It doesn't make you more able to control your attraction for one person or another. Maybe you fall for a guy, and then you fall for a girl.

I have to disagree with the idea that they don't have to go through issues as well. I've mentioned before that my sister is bi, and my mom pretty much told her that she thinks bi people are just ****s that want to sleep with everyone so they can't pick a side. She's fine with straight people and fine with gay people but doesn't think bisexual is a real sexuality, just an experimental phase. Then there are people like you that think people who are bi are just people who are too afraid to come out as gay. There's also the people who are afraid to date bisexuals, because they get the misconception of "I can be attracted to both genders so I might leave you for a person of the other gender" from the idea of bisexuality (similar to the age-old question that homophobic people say to gay people of the same gender, "are you attracted to me because you're gay?"). Bisexuals face a lot of issues as well, it's just less visible if they happen to date someone of the opposite sex. I think their advantage comes from the fact that if they are currently with someone of the opposite sex they can easily avoid questions raised unless they tell someone else they're bi, however it's a double-edged sword imo. Bi people dating people of the opposite sex I can imagine might hate the idea of constantly being assumed to be something other than what they are for convenience's sake.
 

Alice

(>^.(>0.0)>
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I'm technically bisexual, but I've opted to date only the same sex, not because I find them more attractive physically, but because I'm a bottom because I'm more easily attracted to them emotionally.

I would probably enjoy sex with a girl well enough, but I'm really not afraid of the challenges I would face for being gay, (thus, I usually do refer to myself as gay) so I see no reason to base who I want to date on what everyone else wants. If you're bi, it's because you like both genders, and to pretend that you don't is really no different than a gay person pretending they're straight. Maybe a little bit easier, but still, you're going to want to explore that side of yourself at some point.
 
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Shining Raichu

Expect me like you expect Jesus.
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I think what is meant by the lack of issues faced by bisexuals is that the fact that they can date the same sex means that they don't ever really have to come out of the closet if they don't want to, and it would have far less impact on their happiness, if any.
 

Oryx

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I think what is meant by the lack of issues faced by bisexuals is that the fact that they can date the same sex means that they don't ever really have to come out of the closet if they don't want to, and it would have far less impact on their happiness, if any.

Unless they happened to fall in love with someone of the same sex. Then they get to go through the same thing a closeted gay person does. But they have no issues because they have the ability to be attracted to someone of the opposite sex, although they are currently attracted to someone of the same sex. 0 issues surely.
 

Keiran

[b]Rock Solid[/b]
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I'm not bi, but I would assume being with someone who is more compatible and that you can have a better relationship with would make life easier than some idiots opinions make it harder. Then again, I tend to not care one bit what someone thinks of me, unless they insult my weave or music taste.

Even if I was bi, I couldn't see myself sitting back and not caring about LGBT issues while dating a female and living a more "comfortable" life. I don't think my life would change at all if I was dating a guy rather than a girl.
 
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For all we know there are tons of bi people out there who do opt for the 'easier' way and date people of the opposite sex. How would we know otherwise?

But if I may stir things up a bit, I've heard stories, read things, talked to people, and sort of have this feeling that a lot of gay guys are just distrustful of bi guys. Men do tend to see sexuality in more absolute terms than women (which may be why more women are accepting of bi and why there are more women who identify as bi) which isn't to say every man does, just that more do. I dunno. Maybe some people unconsciously see it as a bit of a threat to the gay identity, either from the perception that outsiders will assume gay men can be attracted to women or that gay men pretend to be bi because they don't want to embrace their gay-ness in some kind of self-hating psychological thing.

I'm not just pulling this out of my... sleeve. My close friend who is gay says he'd never date a bi guy because he wouldn't be comfortable. I don't judge him (or anyone) for that, but I do think there's some level of misunderstanding or assuming going on when a gay guy doesn't want to date bi guys.
 

Kano Shuuya

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A lot of gay people won't date people who are bi, just because they feel like the person they're dating could easily fall for someone of the opposite gender. It boils down to being a trust issue, though, because there are certainly bisexuals who can date someone of the same gender, and stay with them for years. -w- If they care about their partner enough, then it's the same as any other relationship, as stable or as risky..
 
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A lot of gay people won't date people who are bi, just because they feel like the person they're dating could easily fall for someone of the opposite gender. It boils down to being a trust issue, though, because there are certainly bisexuals who can date someone of the same gender, and stay with them for years. -w- If they care about their partner enough, then it's the same as any other relationship, as stable or as risky..

Guess that's the same for any sexuality though, Bisexuals (and often gay men) get categorised as being ****s etc., even though most of them are loving, monogamous people.

Personally I think dating a Bisexual person would have it's issues, for example noticing them check out a girl's breasts might leave a "Well I can't offer that..." kind of thought.

Casually butting in to the thread (no pun intended).
 

Shining Raichu

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It isn't even necessarily specific to gay guys. A lot of straight women won't date bisexual men because they are distrustful and see it as basically doubling the chances of being cheated on or because they feel like bisexuality is just a rest stop on the highway to homo. There is a label of promiscuity on bisexual people, even moreso than on the gays. They did an episode of Ally McBeal on this very subject.

However I have a male friend who has only ever dated bisexual women - not by design, that's just coincidentally how it's worked out. He has no problem with it. I think perhaps the idea of your girlfriend cheating on you with another woman is less disturbing to a man than having your boyfriend cheat on you with another man would be to a woman.
 

-ty-

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I hope there was no offense; I was just annoyed because yet ANOTHER "bi" guy wanted to... with me the other day, he is engaged to a girl. I guess a lot of what is annoying is the entitlement some people have, whether it's gay or bi; "since you are gay then we can have sex!" Ugh, the whole things irritates me. lol. This type of thing has happened a few times to me. It's like, if you are dating a girl, why is that not enough? Are they really just gay, in SOME cases?

Yeah, I would say I am one of those gay guys that, for whatever reason, just cannot trust a bisexual when it comes to dating. I feel like if I were bi, I would just think it would be sooo much easier to date and fall in love with a girl. I was just wondering why one would choose to seek out other gay or bi men when heterosexual girls are so much easier to casually meet and develop a lasting relationship with. Are most of these bi guys just MORE attracted to men? This brings up another thing, I have totally different perspectives of male and female bisexuals. I think more guys are more attracted to guys and more females are more attracted to males.
I guess I's just be ignorantz. haha
 
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