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  #1    
Old February 1st, 2008 (08:12 AM).
Binary's Avatar
Binary
え?
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Age: 20
Umm...ok this is my first poem ever...so here ya go!
I wrote this when I was bored lol.

From your every glimpse,
to every smile
It makes me faint,
and fly a mile.

When you come,
in my sight,
It makes my heart
shine and light.

You make my heart burst,
You take away my hunger,
and my thirst.
All I want to do is,
Love you first.

Your beauty is not something,
that is available to buy.
And something without which,
I would die.

When I see your eye,
gleam and shine.
It makes me wish,
that you were mine.


Hope you like it

~C3LEBI
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  #2    
Old February 23rd, 2008 (12:09 PM).
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Guns n' Roses
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: LA
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can you make another one that actualy is good
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  #3    
Old February 23rd, 2008 (06:20 PM).
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Virtual Chatot
Himmelreich
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Denver, Co
Age: 22
Gender: Male
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Great job for a first attempt, hope you'll make some more. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to get off the floor.
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  #4    
Old March 21st, 2008 (04:18 PM).
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Romance Hero
문법의 경찰!
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Flushing, New York
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Guns n' Roses View Post
can you make another one that actualy is good
Quote:
Originally Posted by Heatran View Post
Great job for a first attempt, hope you'll make some more. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to get off the floor.
Constructive criticism please.

I think it was Plato who said this: Suddenly, at the spark of romance, everyone is a poet...
Ah, my favorite subject. It's kind of easy to describe how you feel about love in the beginning, isn't it? I tend to run out of words to say, but that doesn't mean I don't stop loving. I'm sure you feel the same way, and I admire anyone who writes love poems. You're on your way awesome work.
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