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  #1    
Old May 22nd, 2008, 07:21 PM
yeo101's Avatar
yeo101
A Pocketful of Rye
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Singapore
Gender:
Nature: Relaxed
Pokemon Journey started off as a little fic based off my Pokemon FireRed game(after receiving the National Pokedex, I pray you know how it works), where the main character was Steel, her rival being Blue. However, my friends wanted more and now it has spawned several stories.
Summary: Steel and Blue, whilst training in the Seafoam Islands, encounter the Pokemon with the Pokedex number #000- Missingno. Trapped on the islands with danger lurking in every corner, can they make it?

Steel Kairi
One month after becoming Champion of the Kanto League, Steel is bored, but unaware that her encounter with the Pokemon with the PokeDex number #000 will be the one of the most amazing adventures she has had. Feisty and cheerful, a great Pokemon-lover.

Blue Oak
Still slightly bitter about his loss to Steel, Blue can be quite cocky and arrogant, but his defeats are slowly mellowing him out. He has heard the story about #000 Missingno, but had always believed that it was a legend.

Chapter One

“The Sea Gallop is down?”

The sailor nodded, jabbing vigorously at the rudder of the ship.

“Sorry there, missy, but there’s something stuck to the rudder and I can’t get it out! ‘fraid you’re stuck in Kanto for a while, girl.” He replied. Eleven-year-old Steel Kairi sighed.

It had been about one month after she had received her National Pokedex shortly after her victory at the Pokemon League. She had been making regular trips to the Sevii Islands in an effort to fill up her Dex, but today......

“It’s alright. See you.”

“Bye missy, have a nice day!” the sailor yelled after her, before he promptly fell into the water, only to be pulled up by his Octillery.

Steel sighed once more, walking down the beaten path to the Pokemon Centre. When she entered the white building, she tumbled down onto a chair and closed her eyes.

Ever since she had defeated Blue at the Pokemon League, life had come to a standstill of sorts. She had nothing to aspire to now, since she had allowed Blue to stay at the League as ’Champion’- she couldn’t be bothered to assume that responsibility.

Blue.

Her rival.

It had seemed just like yesterday, when she and Blue had left to start journeying around Kanto. It had already been seven months since she had left Pallet Town, and look where she was. He had gone off with Bulbasaur and Pidgey, she had started off with Rara, who had been a Rattata then, and Kiki, who had only been a little Squirtle.

Steel took a gulp of lemonade.

She and Blue had clashed several times during their journey, but even though Blue’s party was always stronger, even though he was always one step ahead, she had always won.

At first, she had thought that it was beginners luck, but it didn’t seem that way when she battled him at Silph Co. At that time, she had been badly injured and bruised due to countless battles against Team Rocket. But she had still defeated him, before going on to defeat Giovanni.

Steel stood up, shaking her head to clear out all distracting thoughts.
Perhaps it was time to head back to Pallet Town.

<<PALLET TOWN>>

Steel groaned, kicking a rock into the ocean. The ocean she had surfed across to Cinnabar in order to get her Volcano badge.
She might as well go get her Pokedex rated, since she had nothing better to do.

<<PROF OAK’S LAB>>

“Hello Professor!”

“Steel! How have you been?” the elderly Pokemon Professor asked. Steel chuckled.

“I’ve been pretty good. Bored out of my half-wits, but I’ve been doing great.”

“That’s comforting to hear. Let me see your Pokedex.”

The brunette handed over her Dex, sitting on Prof. Oak’s desk, humming the Pokeflute tune to herself. Prof. Oak tinkered about with the Pokedex.

“Here you go. You’re doing quite well....do try dipping your rod into the water now and then, you’ll be able to find more Water-type Pokemon that way.” He advised.

“Thanks Prof.”

Ding!

The door was pushed open, and Blue Oak walked in, smiling.

“Hey.”

“Hello Blue.”

Prof. Oak greeted his grandson, before turning to Steel.

“I forgot to tell you, my dear girl, Blue quit being the Champion at Indigo Plateau.”

“Really?” Steel raised an eyebrow. Blue wasn’t one to give up a position of power so easily. He must have had a motive.

“Yeah.”

“Why?”

Blue ran a hand through his messy brown locks, smiling sheepishly.

“I missed you a lot.”

That remark caused Steel to burst into laughter.

“You-“ she managed to choke out, “-have so got to be kidding me. Three times you could’ve helped me defeat Team Rocket and three times you didn’t. What does that tell me?”

Blue kept quiet. It was true. He had had three chances to help Steel out, but he had instead used those chances to attempt to defeat her. Steel smiled.

“See? Well, I’ll be off now. C’ya!”

The Champion of the Kanto league left Professor Oak’s lab. Blue sighed deeply. In the name of the good Arceus, why on earth was Steel always on his mind?

Professor Oak laughed heartily.

“My dear boy, you really do care for her, don’t you?”

Blue blushed a bright shade of crimson in response.
__________________

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http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1993019/Clandestine_Irise
www.freewebs.com/yeo101
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Pokemon Journey-KANTO
The Book of Doom
Laiceps Nomekop

Last edited by yeo101; May 30th, 2008 at 06:30 PM. Reason: Constructive criticism
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  #2    
Old May 22nd, 2008, 07:31 PM
icomeanon6's Avatar
icomeanon6
It's "I Come Anon"
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Northern Virginia
Age: 20
Gender: Male
Three words: Wall of text. One of the best ways to make your fic legible is to insert an extra space between paragraphs. Also, I don't know if you posted your earlier "Pokemon Journey" fics on this forum, but it seems like you're dropping your reader into the middle of a story without any clue as to what happened earlier. I would post a link to where your story really begins.
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My chapter fics:
Kanto: The Disputed Frontier - 14 chapters, indefinite hiatus. Gary Stu's Unpredictable Adventure - 8 chapters, completed. Digimon Campaign - 5 chapters, ongoing.

One-shots:
There's Always Tomorrow (SWC 2009), A Matter of Stubbornness (SWC 2010), Left by the Roadside
(SWC 2011 1st place),
Giovanni Destroys the World and Everything in It (2012), By What Right? (SWC 2013 1st place) (New!)


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FFL ship/orgy/whatever.
Family (kind of?): Strange person who calls me strange names

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  #3    
Old May 22nd, 2008, 07:58 PM
Astinus's Avatar
Astinus
Remember NovEnder
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Connecticut, USA
Age: 27
Gender: Male
Also, could you make the size of the font bigger? When everything is itty-bitty and the story is squished together, it's very difficult to read.

Actually, icomeanon6 (Ha ha, spelled it right!), stories can start out in media res, in the midst of things. It's just up to the author to explain how the characters got into that situation.

Quick item of advice: When you are changing locations in the story, you shouldn't use bold font for the name of the place. Just start off the next sentence with something as simple as "In Pallet Town", or "Steel landed in Pallet Town". It's less jarring to the reader.

I would comment on more, but I sit kind of far away from my screen, and I can't read that tiny of a text size without my eyes hurting.
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  #4    
Old May 30th, 2008, 06:35 PM
yeo101's Avatar
yeo101
A Pocketful of Rye
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Singapore
Gender:
Nature: Relaxed
Chapter Two! Enjoy!
Chapter Two

“Water Pulse!”

Steel’s eyes flashed as she and Kiki trained against the wild Pokemon. She easily defeated the wild Mankey though- they were no match for her team.

“Good job Kiki. Take five. Dasher, it’s your turn!”She said, beckoning to the Rapidash. Dasher nodded, following Steel into the grass. Almost instantly, a Pidgey charged out at them, starting the battle with a Tackle attack.

“Stomp!” Steel ordered, promptly fainting the little creature. She patted Dasher on the head, before returning him to his ball. Training was fun, it was a brilliant opportunity to bond with her Pokemon, and in the process raise their levels, but in all honesty, it was hard to get a good battle in Kanto.

“When on earth will the Sea Gallop be up and running? I’m bored.” She told Rara, who was sitting at her feet, tittering away. The Raticate simply shrugged. Steel picked up her very first Pokemon, letting it sit on her shoulders as she walked around Fuchsia City, chatting to the citizens as well as Warden Slowpoke, who was having tea with Bill’s grandfather.

“Oi! Steel!”

Steel let out a little yelp when she heard her name being called. She whirled around to scowl at her rival.

“Don’t scare me like that! Anyway, what do you want?” she asked, holding a hand to her chest in an effort to calm her thumping heart.

“Paranoid, aren’t you? I got word that you were here, so I thought I’d grab you and make you train with me.” The taller of the two replied, winking at his rival.

Steel raised a brow at Blue’s words. Train with him? She stretched, smiling cheerfully.

“I don’t see why not. Rara and I could do with some training, right boy?” Steel tickled Rara’s nose, causing the tawny-coloured creature to squeak happily. Blue sighed. Steel’s bond with her Pokemon seriously amazed him.

“Fine then. Shall we?” Blue answered, reaching for a Pokeball.
“One-on-one, then, to make things simple. “ Steel said. Rara jumped off her shoulder, gearing up for a battle against Pidgeot.

# BATTLE START #

“Pidgeot, Wing Attack!”

“Cut!”

Blue hissed as Pidgeot took the brunt of Rara’s cut, but she soon recovered.

“Let’s go! Drill Peck!”

“Rara, Shock Wave!”

Steel smiled in satisfaction as Pidgeot’s HP dropped drastically. Blue narrowed his eyes.

“Sky Attack!”

“Rara! Use Return!”

The sheer power of the Return attack sent Pidgeot flying, knocking it out for the count. Blue twitched.

“Man, I lost again!”

# BATTLE END #

Blue retrieved Pidgeot as Steel picked up Rara, cuddling it lovingly before she returned it to its Pokeball.

“That was fun, wasn’t it?” Steel asked, smiling. Blue sighed.

“I don’t understand you, Steel. To me, winning a battle tells me that I’m strong, so I get the prize money, whereas losing a battle makes me feel inferior.” He remarked. Steel laughed.

“That’s a rather common way of looking at it. But I have a different opinion.”

She knelt down next to Pidgeot and healed it with a Full-Restore.

“To me, winning a battle is a cause for celebration. It shows the talent of a Pokemon, it shows their level of strength, and it helps improve their confidence.”

Blue raised a brow as the petite girl stroked Pidgeot’s cheek gently, allowing it to regain consciousness.

“But, if I lose a battle, I simply take it as a learning experience, where I can figure out where I went wrong and how to use the Pokemon’s moves effectively when I battle a similar opponent.”

Steel returned Pidgeot to Blue. She took off her hat, wiping beads of sweat from her forehead. The weather was really warm. Blue returned Pidgeot to its ball, following Steel to the Pokemon Centre.
Her theories were different, if rather odd, Blue mused. But her bond with her Pokemon, the affection and trust between them, the immense power of Rara’s Return attack.....how did she achieve this? That was the one question Blue had been asking himself ever since his defeat at the Indigo Plateau.

How did Steel Kairi manage to win battle after battle, without ever losing hope? How?
__________________

Love Is But A Bitter War
http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1993019/Clandestine_Irise
www.freewebs.com/yeo101
The Pokemon Special Fanclub I love
Youtube: http://www.youtube.com/user/lotsoffood2eat
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The Book of Doom
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  #5    
Old May 30th, 2008, 07:08 PM
.Eevee-Chan's Avatar
.Eevee-Chan
Scyther
 
Join Date: May 2007
Gender: Female
Nature: Timid
This is great,please, keep it up!
Though you might want to add some more deail.
Like the appearence of the pokemon,the background,and in the battles.

Last edited by .Eevee-Chan; May 30th, 2008 at 10:00 PM.
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  #6    
Old June 14th, 2008, 05:02 PM
yeo101's Avatar
yeo101
A Pocketful of Rye
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Singapore
Gender:
Nature: Relaxed
Chapter Three

“Let’s head to Seafoam for some training. I heard that the Sea Gallop is down, so you can’t train at Mt. Ember, can you?” Blue asked, smiling at his rival. Steel laughed.

“You’re correct. I don’t mind training with you. You’re much better than those rich ladies who are really spoilt....”

“You go to Resort Gorgeous?” Blue asked, mildly surprised. Steel nodded.

“The pay is good if you can put up with Lady Selphy. C’mon, let’s go!”

Blue sent out Gyarados as Steel released Dewy. The two trainers set off for the Seafoam Islands.

<<SEAFOAM ISLANDS>>

Blue returned Gyarados to its ball, helping Steel off Dewy. The petite brunette patted the Dewgong on the head, before returning the creature to its ball.

“So....where to now?”

“Let’s just explore the place. I bet I know more about Seafoam than you do.” Blue teased. Steel huffed.

“Well, then I know the Sevii Islands better than you do!” she retorted. Rara and Pidgeot both sighed as the two eleven-year-olds bickered.

“Raticate-cate?”(Should we stop them?)

“Pidgeot-Pidgeot.”(I guess we should. Or they’ll never stop.)

“Raticate.”( I agree. Ready, get set...)

Steel and Blue both yelled when their Pokemon nipped and pecked at their legs, squeaking and squawking.

“They’re telling us to stop fighting and start training.” Steel muttered, picking up Rara. Blue rubbed his leg.

“I get their point. C’mon, let’s go.”

“You have no objections there.”

Steel and Blue entered the cave, where they were immediately attacked by a pair of wild Golduck.

“Rara, Cut!”

“Pidgeot, Wing Attack!”

The two Golduck responded with a combined Water Gun.

“Shock Wave!”

“Sky Attack!”

The Golduck fainted. Steel stretched, smiling in satisfaction.

“Let’s carry on.”

“I hear you.”

Steel & Blue continued walking through the cavern, where they battled many wild Pokemon. Steel patted Rara’s head.

“Level up to 79!” she chirped happily. Blue smiled at the petite brunette.

“Let’s take a break. Catch.”

Steel fumbled to catch the bottle of Lemonade Blue had thrown to her.

“Thank you.” She muttered, opening the bottle.

“Not at all.” Her rival replied.

They sat in silence, just sipping their lemonade and making small talk.

“Can I ask you a question, Blue?” Steel queried.

“What is it?”

The brunette sighed, stretching.

“I’m just curious...you never really told me about your parents, you know. All I heard from Daisy is that your mother died from a heart disease shortly after you were born.”

Blue screwed the cap of his lemonade bottle on, his eyes shut.

“My father was a scientist. He was part of the Mewtwo project...but unfortunately, his research killed him two months before I was born.” The runner-up in the Kanto League muttered bitterly, his head lowered.

“Oh. I’m sorry I asked.” Steel said quietly. Blue looked up, and Steel was mildly surprised to see tears in her rival’s eyes.

“It’s alright. It isn’t your fault.” He mumbled.

Blue blinked when Steel stood on tiptoe and brushed away his tears with her hand. She smiled gently.

“I don’t really know my dad as well. He divorced Mom when I was only a few months old, so I don’t know what kind of person he is. Well then,” Steel drained her lemonade and grinned cheerfully at Blue, “shall we?”

Blue smirked.

“Of course.”
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Love Is But A Bitter War
http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1993019/Clandestine_Irise
www.freewebs.com/yeo101
The Pokemon Special Fanclub I love
Youtube: http://www.youtube.com/user/lotsoffood2eat
Deviantart:http://yeo101.deviantart.com/
Pokemon Journey-KANTO
The Book of Doom
Laiceps Nomekop
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  #7    
Old October 13th, 2008, 07:47 AM
tentakilini
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Join Date: Oct 2008
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A game about Missingno. This sounds great.
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  #8    
Old December 22nd, 2008, 02:14 AM
yeo101's Avatar
yeo101
A Pocketful of Rye
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Singapore
Gender:
Nature: Relaxed
Pokemon Journey will be on hiatus for a while, but I'll try and update as much as I can.
My sincerest apologies.
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http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1993019/Clandestine_Irise
www.freewebs.com/yeo101
The Pokemon Special Fanclub I love
Youtube: http://www.youtube.com/user/lotsoffood2eat
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Pokemon Journey-KANTO
The Book of Doom
Laiceps Nomekop
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  #9    
Old December 22nd, 2008, 11:32 AM
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Blue Angel
Living for now
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
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I've read the first chapter so far but I plan on continuing soon.
It's fun to read your work.

I thought bolding the font made it a little harder to read but that's just me :p
Other people said it was harder to read when it was in smaller font so maybe it is best to leave it alone and let me suffer jk
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  #10    
Old March 18th, 2009, 10:10 PM
yeo101's Avatar
yeo101
A Pocketful of Rye
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Singapore
Gender:
Nature: Relaxed
The next chapter is up, sorry for the long wait!

Chapter Four

Blue jumped over a boulder.

“Here. Let me help you.” He extended his hand to the petite brunette, who sighed in exasperation.

“I hate climbing boulders!” she all but yelled, sitting down on the huge lump of minerals. Blue chuckled. Steel was only a few months younger than he was, but sometimes, she behaved like a little kid.

“Well, then how do you get around Mt. Ember?”

“There are two HMs which I use. HM04, Strength. The other,” Steel jumped off the boulder, landing gracefully next to Blue, “Is HM06, Rock Smash.”

“So in other words, you simply smash or shift boulders and rocks, am I correct?” Blue asked, as they walked through the island. The wild Pokemon seemed to be very quiet today- so far, there had been no sudden ambushes by the wild Pokemon, with the exception of the hordes that they had encountered at the entrance.

“Yeah. It’s rather quiet today. It’s rather...unnatural.” Steel muttered. Blue nodded. There was something strange going on.

“Do you wanna check it out? It might be Team Rocket again...I might have defeated Giovanni, but some of them who have yet to hear of his fall might still be...” the brunette said, her voice trailing off. Blue nodded.

“Yup. C’mon.”

Steel and Blue walked farther into the caves. Blue tapped his chin after he and Steel jumped down a hole, landing next to what had once been a lake. It was frozen now.

“This is odd. Why is it frozen?” he murmured, knocking on it. The ice was freezing. Seafoam was cold, but not cold enough to freeze a lake to such an icy temperature. Steel sighed.

“I agree. There’s something strange going on...”

The brunette girl suddenly looked up.

“Blue! Duck!”

“What?”

Steel grabbed Blue and pulled him down to the cold ground as a Sludge Bomb attack whizzed past, narrowly missing them.

“What was that?” Blue asked. Steel stood up, closing her eyes. She reached for Rara’s ball, and all of a sudden, she whirled around.

“Cut!”

Rara’s claws met with an oddly shaped creature. It seemed to be made up of reflective, metal blocks, and it hissed eerily. Blue stood up, reaching for his Tyranitar.

“Dark Pulse!”

The ball of energy clashed with the creature. It howled, before unleashing a barrage of Sludge Bombs at the duo.

“Run!”

Steel and Blue ran, running over the cold, freezing ground, slipping and sliding on the ice. Blue grabbed Steel’s wrist, yanking her up from the ground as the creature gave chase.

“Rara! Shock Wave!”

“Tyranitar, Stomp!”

The creature didn’t seem to be fazed in the slightest, as it continued hurling attacks.

“Wh-wh-what is that?” Steel asked, entwining her fingers with Blue’s. His pulse was racing, and the boy had no idea whether it was due to being chased by the mysterious Pokemon, or the close contact with Steel.

“I don’t know! Tyranitar, use Sandstorm to cover us!”

Tyranitar let out a yell in response, unleashing a furious storm that blocked the duo from view.

“Now! Rara, dig!”

Blue returned Tyranitar to its ball, but just before they departed from the underground caves of Seafoam, Steel caught sight of the creature’s eyes.

They were red.

They were as red as blood.

And they were filled with bloodlust.
******
“Are you alright?”

Steel was trembling uncontrollably, her arms wrapped around herself. Blue wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling the quaking girl into his arms.

“Relax Steel. Calm down. Hush.”

Steel’s breathing evened, and she buried her face in the crook of her rival’s neck.

Blue was glad Daisy was faraway in Cerulean City with her boyfriend, Bill. If she, or anyone for that matter, saw he and Steel like this, rumours would fly.

“Oh my god! Look!”

“Ah, that’s so sweet!”

Blue groaned inwardly as the two gossiping trainers, both dressed in their swimsuits, ran off giggling. This would be all over the Daily Scoop tomorrow, he could just feel it.

“B-b-blue?”

“Yes?”

Steel gazed up at him, glistening sapphire orbs meeting with his emotionless, emerald orbs. She took a deep breath.

“I...I’ve seen that creature before, Blue, in legends and fairytales. And I saw its eyes, Blue, I saw! It was hungry...bloodthirsty...destructive..it looked as if it was hell-bent on causing chaos.” She whimpered. Blue raked his hand through messy brown locks.

“Do you know its name?” he asked. Steel nodded.

“Yes! Its MissingNo...the Pokemon with no identity!”
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Love Is But A Bitter War
http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1993019/Clandestine_Irise
www.freewebs.com/yeo101
The Pokemon Special Fanclub I love
Youtube: http://www.youtube.com/user/lotsoffood2eat
Deviantart:http://yeo101.deviantart.com/
Pokemon Journey-KANTO
The Book of Doom
Laiceps Nomekop
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  #11    
Old March 19th, 2009, 03:12 PM
Blue Angel's Avatar
Blue Angel
Living for now
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
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Nature: Calm
I always enjoy reading your work (which is also obvious by the fact that I was the last to comment before this new chapter).

I am glad to say that inspiration hit me while reading your story(surprisingly, my story idea was nothing like your story). I did like the part about the red eyes; at first I thought it meant it was a creature tainted by "Team _____" experimentation, or something of the like. Shows you how in assuming, you're often wrong.

No spelling errors to report but I wasn't scouring for them. Glad to see you got to write more.
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  #12    
Old March 22nd, 2009, 04:33 AM
yeo101's Avatar
yeo101
A Pocketful of Rye
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Singapore
Gender:
Nature: Relaxed
HIATUS BEGONE!

This is definitely no longer on Hiatus, (:, just to inform everyone.
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Love Is But A Bitter War
http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1993019/Clandestine_Irise
www.freewebs.com/yeo101
The Pokemon Special Fanclub I love
Youtube: http://www.youtube.com/user/lotsoffood2eat
Deviantart:http://yeo101.deviantart.com/
Pokemon Journey-KANTO
The Book of Doom
Laiceps Nomekop
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