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Fan Fiction and Writing Submit your stories and poems.

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  #1    
Old September 1st, 2008, 05:59 AM
Glitter Stain's Avatar
Glitter Stain
Booted out - don't be like me!
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
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Nature: Bold

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Sadly, this poem is no longer available. =[

Last edited by Glitter Stain; November 11th, 2008 at 05:07 PM.
  #2    
Old September 1st, 2008, 06:28 AM
N-XIGE's Avatar
N-XIGE
Ascension: Success Story
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Digital Nexus
Age: 21
Nature: Docile
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*Applaud*

This one deserves one that comes as expected as thunder is after a lightning.

This poem goes first degree...I just can't do without a comment, it even happens to have what I love best...Rhymes, not rapping rhymes but poetry rhymes...

Hope you don't mind my rating this poem...

Spoiler:

9/10...


Thumbs up!

Btwn: I'm yet to ever give anyone a 10.
  #3    
Old September 1st, 2008, 06:39 AM
Glitter Stain's Avatar
Glitter Stain
Booted out - don't be like me!
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Gender:
Nature: Bold
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kuchiki Byakyuya View Post
*Applaud*

This one deserves one that comes as expected as thunder is after a lightning.

This poem goes first degree...I just can't do without a comment, it even happens to have what I love best...Rhymes, not rapping rhymes but poetry rhymes...

Hope you don't mind my rating this poem...

Spoiler:

9/10...


Thumbs up!

Btwn: I'm yet to ever give anyone a 10.
Hm... well, I'm not going to complain about a 9/10. Thanks for taking the time to read my poem. Is there anything I need to be sure to improve on?
  #4    
Old September 1st, 2008, 06:46 AM
N-XIGE's Avatar
N-XIGE
Ascension: Success Story
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Digital Nexus
Age: 21
Nature: Docile
Send a message via Windows Live Messenger to N-XIGE
For now I'll just say concept...but there's not really much to that...it's all good, and your rhymes sure are...

The only place I didn't like was

Spoiler:
The thorny plant is as deadly as can be

Just one touch would tear anything apart


The concept here was good, but...tear anything apart could have been replaced with tear any skin/flesh...


Spoiler:

and you jumped from

The blood one would shed is easy to see


Though some still hold the rose close to their heart
There isn't really much connection between those two...but anyway...it's all good.





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