Make a wish and have it horribly corrupted

[Erudition]

Granted, however, he melts and all you're left with is Stalin candy goop o.o

I wish for total obliteration of this post!

[pikalax]

Granted, you also get banned because the obliterated post was SPAM!!!

I wish I had that special someone to brag about to my friends.

[ninjaman]

granted but its a guy and a fat @hole and you fall into a coma
I wish that I made a wish that would come true and could never be corrupted and the end result I would enjoy.

[jigglyppuff8]

Granted. It's wishing to post in this thread.

I wish when something happens to the internet, I knew if it's just me or not.

[Gazza]

Granted but something better than the internet came along and mad the internet obsolete. :O

I wish for an emblem.

[jigglyppuff8]

Granted. EVERYONE GETS CLANNAD THEMUS!!! :DDDDDDDD

I wish I could play my SSBM already ._.

[Gazza]

Granted. but after a day it stops working and you are forced to play SSBB. >:D

I wish for SSBM too. XD

[Muffin™]

Granted, but you could only be Jigglypuff -.-

I wish to have some piez :3

[Comrade Nikita Ivanova]

Granted, but they're stale, mouldy, and the mould comes to life. It backstabs you and tells all of your friends about the embarrassing things you don't want them to know.

I wish for a pair of wooden crutches that match the station wagon I want to buy~

[TrinityLimit]

granted, but the crutches break because they weren't very sturdy.

i wish a was good at math.

[Comrade Nikita Ivanova]

Granted, but everyone wants you to do their homework for them, which is annoying.

I wish I could take an octopus on our family vacation.

[Jordan]

Granted, however, it develops romantic feelings for you over the course of the trip and decides to stick itself to you forever. :[

I wish for higher taxes on poor people. o3o;

[RCMF13]

Granted, but you become poor and have to pay higher taxes. OH NO!!!!!!

I wish that the following would make sense:
qwertyuiop[]ASDFGHJKL;'#+\ZXCVBNM,./ UR ULITKJL.JFFGHFUYUY

[Comrade Nikita Ivanova]

Granted, but only in Swahili. And nobody speaks Swahili.

I wish my glasses were in style.

[Stormcloud Mystic]

Granted.

>implying that your glasses being in style is a bad thing.

I wish for the ability to punch through a wall.

[jigglyppuff8]

Granted. It still hurts though.

I wish for more non-meat food in my house.

[Comrade Nikita Ivanova]

Granted, but it's expired.

I wish I had a pet KGB officer~

[MarstheCar]

Granted, but they scared me, so I killed them.

I wish I had no head.

[ReddishDegree]

Granted, but now you wish you had it back.

I wish i never thought of eating cheese

[Polizard]

ok but you thought of eating poo

I wish mario would just stop dancing

[xoBoxxy]

Granted, but then he suddenly gets a new obsession of killing people.

I wish I was a video game character.

[Muffin™]

Granted, but you are Earthworm Jim.

I wish to have a time machine.

[AliceBlaze]

Granted, but you go back in time and accidently kill your father without realising who it is.

I wish Pokemon Heartgold will be released in the UK this weekend.

[jigglyppuff8]

Granted. It's Japanese HeartGold. And no SoulSilver either.

I wish I had motivation of some sort.

[pokemonleaguechamp]

Granted. It's motivation to be a cannibal.

I wish I ruled da internetz.