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  #1    
Old September 28th, 2008 (11:33 PM). Edited September 30th, 2008 by Satoshi Sugimori.
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Satoshi Sugimori Satoshi Sugimori is offline
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Life brings pain and glory,
My life is like an never ending story,
Unwanted things happen all the time,
Not the way I like it the way that isn't fine.

My life has brought me so much misery,
That the only thing I can see,
Is the bad side of everything,
And I can't listen to how the birds sing.

Just a little time ago,
I was left by the ones I looked up to,
And all I had was sorrow,
I have learnt of the experience from the things I had to do,

I got wiser but not without any sacrifice,
I had to leave my youth on the breaking ice,
Now I feel like an adult but look like an child,
No one understands and that's making me feel like going wild,

I just can't live on my own,
It is bad just like my father and mother have shown,
I just don't want to be alone any more,
I need someone that helps me and to care for.

Pains of Life by Satoshi Sugimori


I'm sorry if there are any spelling faults please correct me if you find them

A haiku:

All alone are the words
That is what you don't deserve
It's bad all alone

(this is right, right?)
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  #2    
Old September 30th, 2008 (3:29 PM).
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eevee00 eevee00 is offline
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A lovely poem, I only saw three mistakes, missery should be misery, whitout should with without and I think anymore is two words instead of one.

Anyway, I enjoyed this poem, keep writing.
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Old September 30th, 2008 (3:48 PM).
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Satoshi Sugimori Satoshi Sugimori is offline
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Thank you:D I changed it
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Old September 30th, 2008 (6:12 PM).
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Lady Berlitz Lady Berlitz is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by eevee00 View Post
A lovely poem, I only saw three mistakes, missery should be misery, whitout should with without and I think anymore is two words instead of one.
Actually, "anyone" is one word, if that is what Satoshi Sugimori is meaning.

Otherwise, the story is great. I hope you continue to write more.
Good luck, Satoshi.
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Old October 1st, 2008 (4:09 AM).
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Satoshi Sugimori Satoshi Sugimori is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Infernal Contraption View Post
Actually, "anyone" is one word, if that is what Satoshi Sugimori is meaning.

Otherwise, the story is great. I hope you continue to write more.
Good luck, Satoshi.
Actually I do mean anymore
Thanks And I'll write some more I think :D
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