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  #1    
Old November 19th, 2008, 09:44 AM
An-chan's Avatar
An-chan
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Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Finland
Age: 23
Author says hello:
Um, hello, everyone.

I've been posting fanfiction on PC recently, but not an original story before. I first wrote this in Finnish, which is my native language, and then translated it into English. I did it for a school assignment (I was too lazy to write anything new), but I revised it and decided to post it here.

So, please share your thoughts about my short story!

Warnings: If you dislike stories that only tell of a brief moment and happen mainly in someone's head, don't read this, because that's precisely what this story is about.
If you dislike any blood, gore, sex, nudity and so on, feel free to read this, because this has none of those.



The Elevator

A short story


I stood in an elevator and it was still a long way up. The only person with me on the elevator was a blonde girl with a long, cylinder-shaped package with her. It must have been an important package as she held it so close to her chest. She had a long, green, woolly coat on her. Apparently she was also wearing a skirt, but if she was, it was too short to be seen from under her coat. She also had dark brown pantyhose covering her skinny legs. It was still a long way to go before the right floor, as the elevator was old and slow and the building was tall. The girl would leave the elevator one floor before me. I could see it from the lit-up buttons on the control panel. I hoped no-one else would enter the elevator, because I really wanted to know what was inside the important parcel.

Suddently the light flickered and went out and the whole elevator stopped. Both the blonde girl and I stood on our marks and didn't say a word. The lit-up buttons went out and for a brief while, there was a complete darkness. Soon the yellowish lights at the corners of the roof lit up. I looked up to confirm that they indeed were emergency lights, jus I had suspected. The girl, however, didn't move at all. She started to irritate me. Did she think it was cool to stare at the door of the elevator no matter what happened?

I had forgot which floor we had reached when the display above the door had shut off. I looked at the girl. She was still squeezing the package close to her body. Nothing had changed about her stance after the lights went out: she just stood there facing the door. Her hair was long enough to reach her back, but some of it was trapped under her white scarf. She had round earrings, but I couldn't see what colour they were in the faint light. I was sure she wasn't a courier. There was a loud creak in the elevator shaft. Great! The girl was just the type of person I had always wanted to die with. Just as long as I got to know what was in the package before I died.

The minutes were long in the dim light of the elevator. The girl breathed and I breathed, and I wondered whether there was an air vent somewhere in the elevator for situations like this or would we perhaps suffocate to death. I wondered if someone was coming to help us. What could have caused the blackout? What if the girl was a criminal and there was a gun in her package, a gun that would soon claim my life? I took a small, unoticeable step away from her.

There were 87 floors in this building. I moved my weight from one foot to another and suddently my nose started to itch terribly. I didn't dare to scratch it, that would've made a huge noise in the absolute silence. I thought how embarassing it would be if my stomache started to make noises now. The girl didn't make any sounds at all, she didn't even sigh, she only inhaled and exhaled with a steady rhythm. Then, when she tightened her grip of the package, the friction between her skin and the cartboard packet let out a small sound. The elevator shaft creaked again, and I grabbed the opportunity to scratch my nose. The noise was even worse than I had thought, but the girl didn't glance at me.

She sniffed a bit, though. Hah, I thought, she wasn't a statue after all. She was, however, awfully calm, given the situation in hand. Maybe there was a painting in her parcel. Had she made it herself or had she stolen it? She had probably stolen the painting and was waiting for her partners-in-crime to come and get her from the elevator now that the power outage had disabled all security systems. That was the only explanation for her calmness. That, or then she was planning to hijack the building. That didn't explain the package, though. Unless there was some sort of written demand there that she would hand out to officials after killing me. Maybe there was just a simple poster in her package, one that she bought legally and wanted to put up on her wall?

”It sure has taken a while,” she said suddently, and I almost got a heart attack and died instantly and squaled ”don't kill me!” and a lot of other things, too, but I managed to tune imy emotions down. In the end, I only lifted my eyebrow.

”It sure has,” I answered her. Would I dare to ask what was in the parcel? Would she kill me if I did that? I switched feet again. The largest creak yet echoed in the elevator shaft, followed by some clatter. If I was going to die here, I wanted to know what was in that package!

She sniffed again. ”A minor cold,” she simply noted.

”That's what you get when it's cold outside,” I answered compassionately and smiled to her although she wasn't looking at me.

Then, there were three hours of absolute silence where nothing moved. I can swear it took three hours! It felt like time had stopped and world had ceased to excist. There wasn't even a single creak in the elevator shaft. I think my heart beat got gradually faster for the whole time. Do I dare to ask? Do I dare to ask? After those immensily long three hours, she let out a faint laugh.

”The things I do for my brother!” she snorted and leaned slightly towards the wall.

”What do you mean?” I asked her. My heart was pounding something like a billion times in a minute. The moment of truth had come! Would she now claim the world, get her gun out and kill me? Whould she reveal that she was actually a celebrated artist, taking her newest work of art secretly to her brother to floor number 73 for him to give it to his boss and get a promotion? Did her brother want her to assasinate me? Would the secret be revealed?

”He asked me to bring an empty tube from work,” she said, looked at me for the first time and smiled. ”And then there's a blackout and I get stuck on an elevator! All just because his children love to play astronomers...”

My utter amazement, confusion, disappointment and a whole lot of other emotions all tried to be seen on my face at the same time, resulting in a bright blush. Right on that very same second, the lights went on, the elevator started moving and, much to my joy, the girl didn't look at me anymore. After half a second of moving, the elevator stopped and the door opened. We had arrived in her floor, the 73rd floor of the building. As the door closed behind her, I noticed her earrings were blue, just as her shoes were.

”How is this even possible?” I heard her snort before the door closed completely. I was just wondering about the same thing. The elevator started moving again.

Because of the power outage, I was some 20 minutes late from my job interview. Luckily, they forgave me, as they, too, had experienced the blackout. After all, during that time I spent with the mystery girl in the elevator, I had almost been killed - several times.
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One shots: The Elevator|Once in a Forest Fire|

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  #2    
Old November 21st, 2008, 04:10 PM
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Narcissus Secret
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Join Date: Sep 2008
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The Girl with the blond hair seemed like a nut job. It kept me reading though. Good Work.

EDIT:Liberator I was the first post fyi.
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Last edited by Narcissus Secret; November 22nd, 2008 at 06:46 PM.
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  #3    
Old November 22nd, 2008, 02:08 PM
LiberatorXD
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Join Date: Nov 2008
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Very good i think :D - Yeah i must say. My heart stopped too once in a while..

Off-Topic: First post ;P
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