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  #1    
Old December 7th, 2008, 06:26 AM
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Evil organizations always fail. They come up with a grand plot and then are thwarted by a nobody teenager when their plans were nearly coming to fruition. What, then, happens when four of the world's evil organizations come together to form one opposition force with a REAL threat?

You start off as a twelve year-old protagonist who I will call Jamie (could be a boy or girl). Jamie lives in the Pepto region, a chain of four medium-sized islands that have nothing to do with each other but the fact that they have a common government. You live in Hoppip Heights, the largest city on the westernmost island. Your father, Kyle Pepper, Ph. D teaches archaeology at the local university. Attention recently was brought upon yourselves when he published his latest research, a little evidence indicating that the Pepto Archipelago is at the center of the continents when they were formed based on geologic features, wildlife, and whatnot. This interests four teams in four different ways.
-Team Rocket-->having been overran in enough regions already, what remains of the dedicated criminals decided Pepto to be their next target. They intend on overthrowing the government and making the entire region Rocket-controlled
-Team Magma-->just because it was dissolved does not mean a few extremely dedicated members still do not exist. They come to Pepto thinking that they would be able to find ways to increase the landmass if the landmasses did indeed start here.
-Team Galactic-->obviously, this happens after the events of DP. Comander Jupiter grabbed enough members and came to Pepto only to find what interests them-- a possible connection to Palkia. The spacial consequences of making continents undoubtedly exists, so whatever secrets may lie in this region could yet further Cyrus's original vision.
-Team Green-->the local criminal group of Pepto, Team Green are a bunch of superenvironmentalists who force their Earth-first philosophy. They know the region well.

These evil teams all do their own things for a duration. One day, Green Admin Joe and two thugs attempt the 'important person kidnapping' on your father. They fail. Your father decides to, for your safety, send you moving throughout Pepto and not sitting in danger. He offers you three pokemon, a Fire type, a Water type, and a Normal type which can be seen outside with ease. Where's the Grass type? Joe stole it for himself. So you go off to collect the eight badges of Pepto, two per island. The second Gym leader of your island was sent to the Pepto Prison for affliations with Team Green. You have to go to the capital city's jail on the northernmost island to fight him (so that island has three).

After collecting five badges, news spreads that Team Rocket has overrun Pentapoint City, the capital mentioned earlier. Magnus, the current leader of Team Rocket, is now the president. He requires that, by law, all citizens must enlist with one of the four 'legal teams' (evidently, these groups already striked up some kind of deal, else Magnus would have just made everyone Team Rocket members). Jamie signs on with Team Galactic. After seeing the Galactic Hideout and meeting Jupiter face-to-face (getting five badges puts you on the radar), you have the opportunity to win two more. Of course, that entails fighting genuine Team Magma, Rocket, and Green members on the way because you do not agree with the horrible things they do. The latest Team Galactic meeting gives Jamie the idea that they are close to solving the 'Riddle of the Dots', the mystery behind the Regis (especially Regigigas, the pokemon that put the continents together). However, they need to find a 'lost island', as the seven 'Regi Dots' correspond to landmasses: the four Pepto islands, Hoenn, Sinnoh, and one unaccounted for island. They are currently searching for it.

Knowing that all of this is within the scope of your dad's research, you go home to Hoppip Heights to see dad. Dr. Pepper says that these teams are apparently using each other tog et what they want. Galactic and Magma work closely since they want nearly identical results. Green is just being used because they know the region well. Rocket protects them legally and hides the 'real' members because everyone has to be a member. Apparently that is not the entire story because Green Admin Joe appears again to get information from the professor, except this team you are here to fight him. Beating him gets you your now third-stage Grass type back. You lose the Galactic uniform and, with your dad's Dive HM, try to find out what exactly they are up to.

Galactic scientists are the only intelligent people in their ranks; they could find Nu, the 'last' of the seven dots. Galactic hoped for Palkia toc reate a new world. Magma hoped for a Groudon superior to rid the Earth of all saltwater. Green just hoped that whatever was down there was environmentally-friendly. Rocket new that whatever was down there was dangerous and would assist them in their tyrannical government. Seriously, what else could be down there other than Zerodee, the dimensional pokemon? This pokemon, contained by thick walls of rock and high water pressure above, does little else but maintain Earth's 3-D look. Any disturbances could make the world go flat really quickly, or make flat things go three-dimensional. Can Jamie, a regular kid with only seven badges, stop Leader Jupiter from harnessing such a pokemon, in addition to the other three teams backing her up? And who knows what the Rocket scientists have been doing this entire time? They must have had some reason for taking this region other than for Zerodee.


What do you think? And, obviously, there are pokemon for other dimensions, as well. They are just other legends found after catching Zerodee. Palkia is more for space, whereas these are more focused on Earth.
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  #2    
Old December 7th, 2008, 06:32 AM
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Nytkoi
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Well, it seems pretty intresting. If you can get to work on it, It might become quite a good game. I'd like to see some graphics, first of all. And; you should think up a better name... Really. I mean... Dot? I'm sorry, but. :/ Good luck with this.
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  #3    
Old December 7th, 2008, 06:43 AM
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What would you rather I called it? Pokemon Cadmium Version? No, what about Pokemon Opal Version? Dot is appropriate, especially with the largle possibility of dot puzzles similar to the four ones at the Ruins of Alph but with dots instead of carved-in lines.
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  #4    
Old December 7th, 2008, 07:07 AM
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I guess so. But still, it seems quite... ununique. :/
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  #5    
Old December 7th, 2008, 11:13 AM
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I like the idea of this game it's pretty unique can't wait to see some screens.
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  #6    
Old December 7th, 2008, 11:41 AM
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h POKE
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Uhhh...Hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I think we all know that most people on the internet don't have the attention span to read something of this length (I should know...). However, the story is very thoughtfully written and seems like it could possibly go somewhere. The only thing I don't like is that the world is an archipelago. Most players who have ever gone through the lengthy and laborious sea routes from R/S/E will tell you how boring long patches of surfing are.

And come to think of it, dimensional pokemon? Changing the number of dimensions in a game seems unique, but not exactly the best idea I've ever heard.
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  #7    
Old December 7th, 2008, 11:45 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by h POKE View Post
Uhhh...Hate to be the bearer of bad news If you hate it, then why do you do it? , but I think we all know that most people on the internet don't have the attention span to read something of this length Yeah? Not my problem... (I should know...). However, the story is very thoughtfully written and seems like it could possibly go somewhere. The only thing I don't like is that the world is an archipelago. Most players who have ever gone through the lengthy and laborious sea routes from R/S/E will tell you how boring long patches of surfing are. I happen to love eastern Hoenn, but I understand your point. It would obviously run on a quick ferry system because it would get tedious to surf between the four islands EVERY time...think Phantom Hourglass.

And come to think of it, dimensional pokemon Would you rather I made it Palkia's secret hiding place/summer home?? Changing the number of dimensions in a game seems unique I never said that is the gameplay gimmick; that is merely what you're trying to prevent from happening..., but not exactly the best idea I've ever heard I agree =D....
Thanks for the comments, people!
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Originally Posted by Waudby
It's a shame that what once was a friendly community has turned into a place where the news people want to read about, is bad news.
Previously: Agent Zero
  #8    
Old December 7th, 2008, 12:52 PM
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this seems ok. you should maybe show something soon. like characters,screens a feature list or something. to be honest this isnt that good. tbh the four organizations thing kinda sucks. just my personnal opinion. It seems like you focus more on the teams than little things that play a big part in pokemon game. But I'll wait befoer I post again. I wanna see screens.

I'd also advise you dont try and criticize the other games here until you can make your better. It isn't too good either.
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Last edited by PokemonOI; December 7th, 2008 at 01:27 PM.
  #9    
Old December 7th, 2008, 03:29 PM
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Yes, I agree. You might want to start showing some preogress to the game. : D I still think the story is pretty good.
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  #10    
Old December 9th, 2008, 02:38 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Agent Zero View Post
Evil organizations always fail. They come up with a grand plot and then are thwarted by a nobody teenager when their plans were nearly coming to fruition. What, then, happens when four of the world's evil organizations come together to form one opposition force with a REAL threat? This seems interesting actually.

You start off as a twelve year-old protagonist who I will call Jamie (could be a boy or girl). Jamie lives in the Pepto That doesn't seem like a good name. region, a chain of four medium-sized islands that have nothing to do with each other but the fact that they have a common government. You live in Hoppip Heights, the largest city on the westernmost island. Your father, Kyle Pepper, Ph. D teaches archaeology at the local university. Attention recently was brought upon yourselves when he published his latest research, a little evidence indicating that the Pepto Archipelago is at the center of the continents when they were formed based on geologic features, wildlife, and whatnot. This interests four teams in four different ways.
-Team Rocket-->having been overran in enough regions already, what remains of the dedicated criminals decided Pepto to be their next target. They intend on overthrowing the government and making the entire region Rocket-controlled
-Team Magma-->just because it was dissolved does not mean a few extremely dedicated members still do not exist. They come to Pepto thinking that they would be able to find ways to increase the landmass if the landmasses did indeed start here.
-Team Galactic-->obviously, this happens after the events of DP. Comander Jupiter grabbed enough members and came to Pepto only to find what interests them-- a possible connection to Palkia. In Diamond, they went after Dialga, so this sorta doesn't make sense in some ways The spacial consequences of making continents undoubtedly exists, so whatever secrets may lie in this region could yet further Cyrus's original vision.
-Team Green This Needs a better name.-->the local criminal group of Pepto, Team Green are a bunch of superenvironmentalists who force their Earth-first philosophy. They know the region well.

These evil teams all do their own things for a duration. One day, Green Admin Joe and two thugs attempt the 'important person kidnapping' on your father. They fail. Your father decides to, for your safety, send you moving throughout Pepto and not sitting in danger. He offers you three pokemon, a Fire type, a Water type, and a Normal type which can be seen outside with ease. Where's the Grass type? Joe stole it for himself. So you go off to collect the eight badges of Pepto, two per island. The second Gym leader of your island was sent to the Pepto Prison for affliations with Team Green. You have to go to the capital city's jail on the northernmost island to fight him (so that island has three). I applaud you for the gym leader in jail thing, it's a new idea. I think...

After collecting five badges, news spreads that Team Rocket has overrun Pentapoint City, the capital mentioned earlier. Magnus, the current leader of Team Rocket, is now the president. He requires that, by law, all citizens must enlist with one of the four 'legal teams' (evidently, these groups already striked up some kind of deal, else Magnus would have just made everyone Team Rocket members). Jamie signs on with Team Galactic. After seeing the Galactic Hideout and meeting Jupiter face-to-face (getting five badges puts you on the radar), you have the opportunity to win two more. Of course, that entails fighting genuine Team Magma, Rocket, and Green members on the way because you do not agree with the horrible things they do. The latest Team Galactic meeting gives Jamie the idea that they are close to solving the 'Riddle of the Dots', the mystery behind the Regis (especially Regigigas, the pokemon that put the continents together). However, they need to find a 'lost island', as the seven 'Regi Dots' correspond to landmasses: the four Pepto islands, Hoenn, Sinnoh, and one unaccounted for island. They are currently searching for it.

Knowing that all of this is within the scope of your dad's research, you go home to Hoppip Heights to see dad. Dr. Pepper says that these teams are apparently using each other tog et what they want. Galactic and Magma work closely since they want nearly identical results. Green is just being used because they know the region well. Rocket protects them legally and hides the 'real' members because everyone has to be a member. Apparently that is not the entire story because Green Admin Joe appears again to get information from the professor, except this team you are here to fight him. Beating him gets you your now third-stage Grass type back. You lose the Galactic uniform and, with your dad's Dive HM, try to find out what exactly they are up to.

Galactic scientists are the only intelligent people in their ranks; they could find Nu, the 'last' of the seven dots. Galactic hoped for Palkia toc reate a new world. Magma hoped for a Groudon superior to rid the Earth of all saltwater. Green just hoped that whatever was down there was environmentally-friendly. Rocket new that whatever was down there was dangerous and would assist them in their tyrannical government. Seriously, what else could be down there other than Zerodee, the dimensional pokemon? This pokemon, contained by thick walls of rock and high water pressure above, does little else but maintain Earth's 3-D look. Any disturbances could make the world go flat really quickly, or make flat things go three-dimensional. Can Jamie, a regular kid with only seven badges, stop Leader Jupiter from harnessing such a pokemon, in addition to the other three teams backing her up? And who knows what the Rocket scientists have been doing this entire time? They must have had some reason for taking this region other than for Zerodee.


What do you think? And, obviously, there are pokemon for other dimensions, as well. They are just other legends found after catching Zerodee. Palkia is more for space, whereas these are more focused on Earth.
I think this needs a little work, but it could go well if you try.

And I agree with PokemonOI, you shoudn't criticize other games if your game isn't too good either. But that's just my opinion.
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  #11    
Old December 9th, 2008, 02:48 PM
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Join Date: Sep 2008
Nature: Adamant
Quote:
That doesn't seem like a good name.
I promise you, that name is more profitable than most other region names here...Google it if you HAVE to.
In Diamond, they went after Dialga, so this sorta doesn't make sense in some ways
We have to assume they know there were two of them. Cyrus was a genius (so claimed the old woman in Sunyshore). But, really, this occurs after Pt since the disbanding in Pt is more clear and both legends were seen by Jupiter (she was at Spear Pillar, right?).
This Needs a better name.
That would be a logical point; however, ever went to the library and looked at the book club notices? They'll be called something simple like 'Whatever Book Club' as opposed to something more flashy. It grabs the target audience quickly by not playing any games. Team Green clearly indicates what they stand for; I never said they were an entirely evil organisation. They do what is best for the environment, which sometimes conflicts with the goals of humans and pkmn alike.
I applaud you for the gym leader in jail thing, it's a new idea. I think...
It's no different than me saying the Gym leader is not in town...just a prettier presentation.
I think this needs a little work, but it could go well if you try.
Oh, surely...if I try.
And I agree with PokemonOI, you shoudn't criticize other games if your game isn't too good either. But that's just my opinion.
Since when do I care if you agree with him? Send it to him in a PM next time, dude...
I'll have some screens either tomorrow or the day after to show.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Waudby
It's a shame that what once was a friendly community has turned into a place where the news people want to read about, is bad news.
Previously: Agent Zero
  #12    
Old December 9th, 2008, 05:21 PM
h POKE's Avatar
h POKE
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If you really want to get serious with this game, you're going to have to think a bit beyond just the plot of this game. What's the appeal? In other words, what gameplay feature/s make this better from any other game on this website? Next, think about the story. What will compel potential players through this game? Will going through story-based events be a drag, or actually what they're supposed to be; recreational? Tying right into this, using excessive amounts of backtracking and/or traveling to get around the world can be just as boring as making excruciatingly long cutscenes (unless, of course, it's Golden Sun). What makes the player feel like they're progressing their IGC as opposed to just flubbing around where they started? Of course, giving a little sense of hopelessness can give an extra edge of realism, but making the game progress too fast at some points and too slow in others is a recipe for disaster.
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  #13    
Old December 17th, 2008, 03:03 PM
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I may have come out 2 a bad start with the first post of my idea but i am pretty good with maping i think. I could help you out! I really think i like your idea, and adding some more puzzles in it with the ruins might be a good idea. also, one thing i didnt like about the pokemon games nintendo made(not that im hating on them or whetever) but i thought that the routes were unrealisticaly short. you cant span the length between two cities with a few hundred feet. it makes me feel like u know, whatever. I think that you should make the routes a little bit longer, more space in between each, not like their trying to spawn camp you in halo 3. mabye some dont even approach you for a battle like some are optional. <-To give it a bigger sense of openness, eh? try it out and it might be fun! though it should have an interesting thing or 2 along it. let me know
  #14    
Old December 21st, 2008, 07:08 PM
ErnVern
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hahaha Dr. Pepper lmao!!!
  #15    
Old December 22nd, 2008, 10:51 AM
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Hope you like my brilliant review:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Agent Zero View Post
Evil organizations always fail. They come up with a grand plot and then are thwarted by a nobody teenager when their plans were nearly coming to fruition. What, then, happens when four of the world's evil organizations come together to form one opposition force with a REAL threat? Sounds good, but a bit cliché.

You start off as a twelve year-old protagonist who I will call Jamie (could be a boy or girl). Jamie... sure that's okay, but remember to let us choose a different name, because not everyone is called Jamie. Jamie lives in the Pepto region, a chain of four medium-sized islands that have nothing to do with each other but the fact that they have a common government. Goverment? This is a Pokémon game... You live in Hoppip Heights, the largest city on the westernmost island. Your father, Kyle Pepper, Ph. D teaches archaeology at the local university. Kyle Pepper? Who your mother, Kylie Salt? Nah, I'm just kidding. Attention recently was brought upon yourselves when he published his latest research, a little evidence indicating that the Pepto Archipelago is at the center of the continents when they were formed based on geologic features, wildlife, and whatnot. Hooray for geeks! Good plot so far...This interests four teams in four different ways. Well, it is interesting.
-Team Rocket-->having been overran in enough regions already, what remains of the dedicated criminals decided Pepto to be their next target. They intend on overthrowing the government and making the entire region Rocket-controlled Be sure to add something new about them. Team Rocket has been used a lot of times in the show and you don't want to base everything about them on Jessie and James.
-Team Magma-->just because it was dissolved does not mean a few extremely dedicated members still do not exist. They come to Pepto thinking that they would be able to find ways to increase the landmass if the landmasses did indeed start here. Good ol' Magma. Seeing as you have Magma, are you planning to mention Aqua a bit?
-Team Galactic-->obviously, this happens after the events of DP. Comander Jupiter grabbed enough members and came to Pepto only to find what interests them-- a possible connection to Palkia. The spacial consequences of making continents undoubtedly exists, so whatever secrets may lie in this region could yet further Cyrus's original vision. Good plot there.
-Team Green-->the local criminal group of Pepto, Team Green are a bunch of superenvironmentalists who force their Earth-first philosophy. They know the region well. Criminals who are enviromentalists? Has the world gone mad! I really think you should rethink who they are a bit. Perhaps they want to use nature to take over the world or something. And 'Green'. It's a bit 'boring'. Team Grass, Team Nature, Team Enviro, just something other than green.

These evil teams all do their own things for a duration. One day, Green Admin Joe and two thugs attempt the 'important person kidnapping' on your father. They fail. Your father decides to, for your safety, send you moving throughout Pepto and not sitting in danger. Good plot for starting your Pokémon journey. I mean, I know kids can be annoying, but to throw them out before they can even hit puberty? Madness. I like this plot a lot better. He offers you three pokemon, a Fire type, a Water type, and a Normal type which can be seen outside with ease. Fire, water and normal? Fire and Water are good, but you really need to think of a different type than Normal. Where's the Grass type? Joe stole it for himself. Yeah. You really need to explain the kidnapping better. Also, if he has the grass starter, wouldn't that mean that watter Pokémon would struggle, while those who picked fire would own. And those who picked normal face him normally? Or is the starter not going to be seen until the end. So you go off to collect the eight badges of Pepto, two per island. ... Why? The second Gym leader of your island was sent to the Pepto Prison for affliations with Team Green. *Gasp* You have to go to the capital city's jail on the northernmost island to fight him (so that island has three). Why would you want to fight him. Free him, yes, but travel the journey just to challenge him?
I'll do the rest of my great, brilliant review later.
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  #16    
Old December 23rd, 2008, 01:04 PM
h POKE's Avatar
h POKE
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FOOLS! It's supposed to be cliche!
As AZ said, any game that uses "team" as the main baddie should not be written (or some approximation of the latter...).
I mean, come on! Team Green? Twelve-year-old kid? All the bad guys from before teaming up? In hindsight, even I can say this is a bit of a mockery of the games around here.
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  #17    
Old December 23rd, 2008, 06:33 PM
Rabbit
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The story sounds fantastic and really dynamic. It's very well thought out and realistic, unlike most "save the world" stories. I like how the plot sends you back to your father for a reason, and that the ordinary starter choices are mixed up a little. It looks like the protagonist doesn't have a rival. I always thought the idea of a rival who was always one gym ahead was a little overused.

Quote:
-Team Green-->the local criminal group of Pepto, Team Green are a bunch of superenvironmentalists who force their Earth-first philosophy. They know the region well.
Hooray! <3 Ecoterrorists are easy to play for laughs, and they can do all sorts of damage, from defacing buildings to blowing up large corporations. However, why are they targeting the protagonist's father? Is he damaging the environment in some way? Real-life ecoterrorist groups try to keep some measure of popular support by keeping their attacks strictly environment related.

Where does Team Rocket get their support? They need support from either the masses or the powerful businessmen to keep power. Is their takeover like a military coup? I love those. But then the government would have to have been doing badly in past years, and the people willing to exchange civil rights for stability and economic progress.

Quote:
Your father decides to, for your safety, send you moving throughout Pepto and not sitting in danger.
I don't think that's entirely logical. If the protagonist is collecting all of the badges in order, it's too easy for any organization to target him - just ambush him beside the next gym. Do you get a bodyguard?

Anywho, I think that this would make a wonderful game. It might be a challenge to reflect the complexity of the world in-game, but that's just part of making it, right?

Quote:
Criminals who are enviromentalists? Has the world gone mad! I really think you should rethink who they are a bit.
There already are environmental criminals - ecoterrorists like ELF and ELA. What I like best about this plot is that at least one of the 'evil groups' is so realistic and believable, especially since environmental concerns are current events. Players love that sort of thing. At least, I do. (My own game idea also has eco-terrorists. xD) It's the other groups that I have issues with. Promise that you won't make them classic "evil"? :x Team Aqua and Magma's motives are so short-sighted that I want to slap them with a fish.
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  #18    
Old December 29th, 2008, 07:42 PM
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eeveegirl
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Pokemon dot sounds like its from the 80s get a better name LOL
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  #19    
Old December 30th, 2008, 12:12 AM
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If you can get this working, it would be great!
Keep it up!
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  #20    
Old December 30th, 2008, 01:30 AM
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When I saw the name I thought it would be an awfull game but by reading what you typed it seems much better than the name says! :D
  #21    
Old December 30th, 2008, 05:47 PM
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monarc,
Cute! A Pokemon Adventure
 
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first up I hope this game comes to fruition, cause it looks really good =3

Secondly, in your signature, there is something that looks like a new type of battle system or something >.> it looks good... is that going to be intergrated into your game?
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Rawr. That is all.



  #22    
Old January 3rd, 2009, 02:41 AM
Radnen's Avatar
Radnen
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I don't get it...

This game has a good story, so why are people complaining?

People, this is a plot + story thread, therefore if you aren't into reading plots or stories (no matter how greatly orchestrated), then this thread isn't for you.

Some said a 12 year old protagonist is... too young? Remember: Ash was only 10. (The legal age in which trainers can begin their journey).

I would agree with those who say the name is weird, I generally like games with names that have more than 3 letters in it. You really can't make a "catchy" name with a 1 syllable word (aside from the pokémon title).

Some said that the word "government" shouldn't be associated with pokémon games, but I believe this is not only original but adds a new dynamic. Since when did it become a "law" to narrow our creative endeavors for the sake of making pokémon the same old thing it used to be? Adding a government is a great complement to the various criminal/political organizations which are a staple of the pokemon franchise. They come hand in hand. (Come on, who pays officer Jenny? Team rocket sure as hell doesn't.)

I'm really looking forward to a game that centered around a really nice central story. I like it how gym badges become a benchmark for personal success and inadvertently a beacon for greater danger. This has got to be one of the best ideas here.
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  #23    
Old January 3rd, 2009, 03:49 AM
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Let's be honest here, no one should expect a brilliant, flawless, innovative plot from a Pokémon game. It's just not the way the series is made.

But anyway, for someone who is quite fond of criticising other people's plots (there's nothing bad with doing it, just saying), your plot certainly isn't amazing.
  #24    
Old January 3rd, 2009, 06:41 AM
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Okay, I've had it with the abuse...but, before I give my lil' speech, I have a few comments to make:
Quote:
Originally Posted by h POKE View Post
but making the game progress too fast at some points and too slow in others is a recipe for disaster.
Yanno, I don't agree with you at all here. Take ANY good commercial, story-based game--the beginning and end tend to be a little bit of a drag, if you ask me, comapred to the event-based middle. It's the way some of it goes...
Quote:
Originally Posted by ErnVern View Post
hahaha Dr. Pepper lmao!!!
...you also know what Pepto Bismol is, right?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Harry Blue5
Good ol' Magma. Seeing as you have Magma, are you planning to mention Aqua a bit?
Actually, I never once planned on it; just because they're treated like Bonnie and Clyde by everyone does not mean they have to come together. This 'smell' that attracted all of these thinging-alike, evil minds did not interest the former, serious Aquas. They'd be better off hangin' in a water treatment plant or something.
Quote:
Originally Posted by h POKE View Post
FOOLS! It's supposed to be cliche!
As AZ said, any game that uses "team" as the main baddie should not be written (or some approximation of the latter...).
I mean, come on! Team Green? Twelve-year-old kid? All the bad guys from before teaming up? In hindsight, even I can say this is a bit of a mockery of the games around here.
h POKE was the closest to anyone here but still not correct...it's not a mockery, although it does contain unfiltered cliches, some that, without, dealing with this would have been difficult.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rabbit View Post
Where does Team Rocket get their support? They need support from either the masses or the powerful businessmen to keep power. Is their takeover like a military coup? I love those. But then the government would have to have been doing badly in past years, and the people willing to exchange civil rights for stability and economic progress.
Iron-fisted rule...they're not even a handfull of islands, not some grand civilisation (which is likely why they're so government-centric in the first place). Having a TR member every six steps is enough to keep everyone in line for the time being...and anybody upset with their rule can just infiltrate bcause they are FORCED to join.
Quote:
Originally Posted by eeveegirl View Post
Pokemon dot sounds like its from the 80s get a better name LOL
You come outta nowhere and bash my name; I did -rep this one for its thirty second-ness. I was discussing this earlier--if you had a more appropriate name, you should have shouted. I wouldn't call it something epic like 'Pokemon: Terra Firma' or 'Pokemon: Hidden Beginnings' because it just is not the right shoe size. Besides, names are subjective. I don't like a couple of the names around here, but, if they're justifiable, then they're alright whether they are pleasing to the ears or not.
Quote:
Originally Posted by TroyKrantz View Post
Secondly, in your signature, there is something that looks like a new type of battle system or something >.> it looks good... is that going to be intergrated into your game?
Of course not--that was just a mock-up MMBN one Theik threw together xD...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Radnen View Post
Some said a 12 year old protagonist is... too young? Too young for dealing with a bunch of adults, yes, that's a blatant downside here because I do not explicitly mention any help or aid that Jamie receives. Remember: Ash was only 10. (The legal age in which trainers can begin their journey).

I would agree with those who say the name is weird, I generally like games with names that have more than 3 letters in it. You really can't make a "catchy" name with a 1 syllable word (aside from the pokémon title). ...you kinda got me there, buuuuuut...what about Gold Version? =D

Some said that the word "government" shouldn't be associated with pokémon games, but I believe this is not only original but adds a new dynamic. Since when did it become a "law" to narrow our creative endeavors for the sake of making pokémon the same old thing it used to be? Adding a government is a great complement to the various criminal/political organizations which are a staple of the pokemon franchise. They come hand in hand. (Come on, who pays officer Jenny? Team rocket sure as hell doesn't.) Ding
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrchewy View Post
Let's be honest here, no one should expect a brilliant, flawless, innovative plot from a Pokémon game. It's just not the way the series is made.

But anyway, for someone who is quite fond of criticising other people's plots (there's nothing bad with doing it, just saying), your plot certainly isn't amazing.
I have no reason to lie--if I could negrep you, I would. This made me angry and directly brought upon this post.

First point: I guess that makes me 'no one'. You can insult me however you like, but AT LEAST be smart enough keep it outta my own thread where I can see it. Now, the end of that point is a good one--the actual pkmn games' plots are terrible comparatively to what I expect outta people here. Why? Well, why would anyone play these games if they were the same stuff Gamefreak tosses to us every four years or so? Why do we want to hear the same song again? And don't you feel that extra motivation from an excellent, engaging story? One that is constantly shifting with twsits (I don't mean the 'I never knew my best friend was my nemesis! =O')...

Second point: why do I do what I do? Because I could do what you just did to me--go around and tell people that they need to learn the meaning of the word cliche, grow up, and move on. But I don't--I attempt to point out what I don't like (as well as every other thought that comes to mind...) as a way of helping them if they want it. There have been people open to my criticism, while there have been others not. I suspect you posted as an ego deflater because you did not actually offer any serious HELP to me; technically, it's spam because yo did not contribute to the topic at all. Without specifics, you cannot back up your claim that this is a 'isn't amazing'. I do agree that it is not the best, but it certainly is greater and more thought-out than a lot of the stuff I've seen here...time for the point of the post!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Agent Zero View Post
Evil organizations always fail Open statements like this also fail. I've gotten sick of them since writing this.... They come up with a grand plot and then are thwarted by a nobody teenager when their plans were nearly coming to fruition. What, then, happens when four of the world's evil organizations come together to form one opposition force with a REAL threat If I actually knew, I would have given you the ending. I actually never wrote an ending because I don't know how this could possibly end without tainting one of these canon 'Teams'.

Oh, yeah, you wanna know what the premise here is, anyways? This ain't my plot; it was just an experiment. I was sitting around one day wondering how I would approach the many teams idea I've seen before. Thus, Dot Version was born. The major premise, four teams holding hands, is a poor one and could never work. That is the highest-flying red flag here.?

You start off as a twelve year-old protagonist I hate ten year-olds in pkmn games... who I will call Jamie (could be a boy or girl). Jamie lives in the Pepto Now this is a silly name...Pepto Bismol? Yeah, that was an underhanded joke...I don't actually suggest joke names in any SERIOUS projects. region, a chain of four medium-sized islands that have nothing to do with each other but the fact that they have a common government I didn't elaborate, then, why anybody figured out that there was a 'higher' purpose to these islands than meets the eye. Sorry, but it's a bad idea.... You live in Hoppip Heights ...I like this name. It sure beats 'Newdude Town' or whatnot..., the largest city on the westernmost island. Your father, Kyle Pepper, Ph. D Dr. Pepper, haha...Dr. Pepper, haha. That's anothe joke name. teaches archaeology at the local university Now, this is a cliche but the story wouldn't work too well without it.... Attention recently was brought upon yourselves when he published his latest research The research cliche makes me ill...really, this wasn't a manifesto on the cliches people use here, but if you take it that way, then more power to ya..., a little evidence indicating What was that? Oh, I never specified; that's ;cause it's a poor premise entirely...but, again, this plot would not float without it. that the Pepto Archipelago is at the center of the continents How convenient... when they were formed based on geologic features, wildlife, and whatnot. This interests four teams in four different ways. Why did they hear at the same time? The research? Well, there's no way that this coldn happen because of the distance issue. We don't hear about the Internet much in the pkmn world...
-Team Rocket-->having been overran in enough regions already, what remains of the dedicated criminals On my Acanthite commentary, I pointed out that several members probably retire to more sedated lives after each failed campaign; how many campaigns would there have been? By now, there'll be no TR left... decided Pepto to be their next target. They intend on overthrowing the government and making the entire region Rocket-controlled
-Team Magma-->just because it was dissolved does not mean a few extremely dedicated members still do not exist ...this one was blatantly stretched. I can't defend it. I didn't try to make this one decent.... They come to Pepto thinking that they would be able to find ways to increase the landmass if the landmasses did indeed start here.
-Team Galactic-->obviously, this happens after the events of DP. Comander Jupiter grabbed enough members and came to Pepto only to find what interests them-- a possible connection to Palkia This cliche is becoming annoying. Lay Dialga and Palkia to rest, people. Again, the point I made there was not intended--I needed that as an excuse to include TG...and, hey, it was decent. The high-end Galactics are by no means uneducated.. The spacial consequences of making continents undoubtedly exists, so whatever secrets may lie in this region could yet further Cyrus's original vision. What of Cyrus? He's in the background somewhere atoning...anywhere else he should not be.
-Team Green-->the local criminal group of Pepto, Team Green are a bunch of superenvironmentalists who force their Earth-first philosophy. They know the region well.

These evil teams all do their own things for a duration Do they quarrel? Not really, at first? Now ain't that odd?. One day, Green Admin Joe Joe...Green...Serebii? Oh, cool, there are actually three joke names in here (I forgot about this one)... and two thugs attempt the 'important person kidnapping' on your father. They fail Hey, undermined cliche...good deal, dude.. Your father decides to, for your safety, send you moving throughout Pepto and not sitting in danger It's harder to hit a moving targer than a stationary one, right?. He offers you three pokemon, a Fire type, a Water type, and a Normal type ...yeah, I don't like the triangle cliche. Slain... which can be seen outside with ease. Where's the Grass type? Joe stole it for himself Now, I really thought this was a cool idea, and yet I didn't really get anything about it...[/disappointment]. So you go off to collect the eight badges There should be mroe than eight, yanno... of Pepto, two per island. The second Gym leader of your island was sent to the Pepto Prison for affliations with Team Green ...I like that one; the corrupt gov't still letsn s/he be Gym leader anyways.. You have to go to the capital city's jail on the northernmost island to fight him (so that island has three).

After collecting five badges Five badges...five sides...hey, I didn't plan that., news spreads that Team Rocket has overrun Pentapoint City [/coolname], the capital mentioned earlier. Magnus, the current leader of Team Rocket, is now the president. He requires that, by law, all citizens must enlist with one of the four 'legal teams' (evidently, these groups already striked up some kind of deal What's the deal? Don't know? Oh, look, it's underdeveloped..., else Magnus Anyone who tells me where this name came from gets a cookie. would have just made everyone Team Rocket members). Jamie signs on with Team Galactic IMO, Team Magma would be cool, but it's everyone's own choice.... After seeing the Galactic Hideout and meeting Jupiter face-to-face (getting five badges puts you on the radar Why not for suspicion of infiltration? Especially given your connections...unless daddy changed your name. Hey, cool idea, Agent Zero...did I just have a mini-conversation with myself? Do you consider that a monologue?), you have the opportunity to win two more. Of course, that entails fighting genuine Team Magma, Rocket, and Green members on the way because you do not agree with the horrible things they do What things?. The latest Team Galactic meeting gives Jamie the idea that they are close to solving the 'Riddle of the Dots' How come? What stands out about it?, the mystery behind the Regis (especially Regigigas, the pokemon that put the continents together So how did Regigigas end up in a temple in SINNOH, far from here, if he strung the continents together here?). However, they need to find a 'lost island' Eww, I can't believe I wrote this..., as the seven 'Regi Dots' correspond to landmasses: the four Pepto islands, Hoenn Why is Hoenn in the mix?, Sinnoh, and one unaccounted for island How can they verify that? I did never say what Hoenn has to do with any of this.... They are currently searching for it Can I help?.

Knowing that all of this is within the scope of your dad's research, you go home to Hoppip Heights to see dad. Dr. Pepper says that these teams are apparently using each other tog et what they want Doesn't take a Rocket scientist to figure that out...a Galactic, Magma, or Green scientist is good, too.[/eh,Itried]. Galactic and Magma work closely since they want nearly identical results Yet they both are undoubtedly planning a backstabbing.... Green is just being used because they know the region well Yeah, what DO they get from this? The other teams are way outta their league in terms of wisdom.... Rocket protects them legally and hides the 'real' members because everyone has to be a member Yeah, but that's an inefficiency...discerning real ones from false ones.. Apparently that is not the entire story because Green Admin Joe appears again to get information from the professor What sorts of info? Do the other Teams have it already?, except this team time you are here to fight him. Beating him gets you your now third-stage Grass type back Ain't that a cool idea? it's the only good idea to come outta this... You lose the Galactic uniform and, with your dad's Dive HM Eww, In hate HMs..., try to find out what exactly they are up to Didn't it say earlier that you had an idea already?.

Galactic scientists are the only intelligent people in their ranks; they could find Nu Nobody'll know how I derived this one..., the 'last' of the seven dots. Galactic hoped for Palkia toc reate a new world. Magma hoped for a Groudon You mean like a 'TERRAKING' or something liken that? Pff... superior to rid the Earth of all saltwater. Green just hoped that whatever was down there was environmentally-friendly *snickers*. Rocket knew that whatever was down there was dangerous and would assist them in their tyrannical government TR has smarter management than this.. Seriously, what else could be down there other than Zerodee 0-D?, the dimensional pokemon I'm better off explaining an already-existing legend instead of making up my own frivilous one? Good advice.? This pokemon, contained by thick walls of rock and high water pressure above Then how does anyone else get down there?, does little else but maintain Earth's 3-D look. Any disturbances could make the world go flat really quickly, or make flat things go three-dimensional Looks like the end of the world once its metaphorical snooze is ended, wouldn't you agree?. Can Jamie, a regular kid with only seven badges, stop Leader Jupiter from harnessing such a pokemon, in addition to the other three teams backing her up Nope...s/he has no help.? And who knows what the Rocket scientists have been doing this entire time? They must have had some reason for taking this region other than for Zerodee. What is that? Oh, you never said? Or did you just forget? Am I addressing myself again?


What do you think? And, obviously, there are pokemon Use the accent mark... for other dimensions, as well. They are just other legends found after catching Zerodee. Palkia is more for space, whereas these are more focused on Earth So every large body of mass has its own set of dimension-keeping pkmn? Not that's actually...an interesting idea...but it would never work..
Dot was not a serious project; it was an experiment. I hope you learned something from it because I didn't really xD...just don't EVER try this major premise again. Additionally, although the story is well-thought-out for the fail that it is when you boil it down, it has a strong fault. I never wrote any ending or indicated that I had one. You cannot have a beginning without an ending, so how could any of what I said be worth anything if it is heading towards an anticlimax? You couldn't even slap an ending to this one and put those Teams back in reasonable situations...no, it does not function. No, it can never happen. No, Dot Version will never be.

Any further posts are considered spam (I've reported for a closure); if you wish to discuss anything, there are VMs and PMs. Thank you for your time.
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  #25    
Old January 3rd, 2009, 09:18 AM
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