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  #1    
Old January 3rd, 2009, 02:58 PM
Mystery Soul
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First of all, hi everyone at PokeCommunity This is a very thought out game that I've been jotting down notes for since last year. The reason this isn't in the Game developmet section is because I can't find a Zip File download for RPG Maker XP Postality Knights Edition. Anyways...

Story:

Long ago, before man walked the Earth, there was the Original One, Arceus. In one week Arceus had created the universe, the Earth, the Sun and Moon, and the beings of Space and Time; Palkia and Dialga. Arceus then created three more beings; The beings of Heaven, Earth, and the Underworld. They were called Seraphium, Gaianon, and Sataruos. Arceus intructed them in their duties and the beings of Heaven and Earth took charge without hesitation. However, Sataruos did not take kindly to being the ruler of a hot, underground domain. He decided to rebel during Arceus's period of rest, which he took after creating humans on Earth; three days later. During his rest, Sataruos caused great havoc on Earth. Seraphium and Gaianon could not stop him, but a young woman, the princess of a community called Pokelantis, found a way to cease the Devil Pokemon's reighn of terror. She crafted a flute, an Azure Flute, and played it while on the highest altar in Pokelantis. She played the song Oracion on the flute and its tune awoke Arceus. When Arceus saw the terrors that Satauros had caused, he sealed away him away, in a stone coffin beneath a large mountain in the middle of the sea. However, before his imprisonment, Satauros cursed the princess that caused his demise by turning her into a Pokemon; the first Milotic. The Milotic then swan into the sea with the Azure Flute in its mouth and dropped it into the deepest crag in the sea. Arceus felt terrible for the curse on the princess and decided to immortalize her as a statue of pure Turquoise. The people of Pokelantis mourned the loss of their princess but they wondered why she took the Azure Flute to the bottom of the sea...

Now, located in the museum of Valencia City, is the statue of the princess in her Milotic form along with a restored tome of the events that took place in Pokelantis. Howvever, this legend spurred the interest of a terrible man, the leader of the evil Pokemon organization, Team Dark Fire. Now Team Dark Fire is causing havoc in the region of Cascade; split into its three island masses of Cascade, Azurite, and Turquoise. Their purpose, to find the Azure Flute to awaken Satauros by playing Oracion's opposite Mortalitas, the song of death...

Plot:

You begin the game as the son/daughter of Professor Rosewood, the head of ancient Pokemon research in the Cascade Region. One morning you wake up to find a note on your mother's work desk saying that she left to do field studies on Route 400, beyond your hometown of Newbreeze. You round up your friend and your rival and the three of you go out to Route 400 to find your mother being assualted by three men in black uniforms, later to be known as Team Dark Fire grunts. You and your companions do not hesitate to retrieve a PokeBall from a bag Rosewood had dropped a few feet behind her. The PokeBall you choose contains your Starter. After making your choice, you battle one of the grunts and defeat them. After, Rosewood takes you three back to the lab to explain the situation and gives you the Pokemon you chose to fight the grunt as a gift, along with a PokeDex, five PokeBalls, and a Trainer Pack. She asks the three of you to complete the PokeDex and gather information on every Pokemon native to Cascade. Thus begining your adventure to complete the PokeDex, along the way you start participating in Gym battles and Contests, and also begin to uncover information on Team Dark Fire...

Features:
*202 new Pokemon
*An entirly new region
*The addition of a Pokemon Academy, which you enroll in.
*New moves and D/P attacks
*The chance to capture every Pokemon
*An individual storyline for every Legendary Pokemon
*New items
*Focus on Arcues, Milotic, and three new Legendaries

Progress:
Even though I can't actually begin working on the game, I've worked on its data.

PokeDex 100%
Routes, Towns, Cities 96%
Attacks 0%
Items 0%
Trainers 0%
Gyms and Elite 4 50%

So wat do you all think?
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  #2    
Old January 3rd, 2009, 03:42 PM
Nytkoi's Avatar
Nytkoi
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Eh, the overall game seems okay. But I suggest you shouldn't have made a thread if you don't even have the program to make it ._.' Okay, first of all, let's talk about the name of the game, It's not that great. I mean, Turquoise Tears? It's kind of cheesy and also it dosen't sound 'pokemon'. You could take of the 'pokemon' of the name of this game and it would fit a game that's not related to pokemon perfectly. Try 'Pokemon Turquoise.' I understand the tie of the story and name of the game, but still, you need to chnage the name.

Next, I'll be talking about the story (becuase it's the only other thing I can talk about \o/). It's pretty good, and I like the part about Milotic, but some of it isn't that great. It's okay though. Pretty good job; you still need to work on it some more I think.

Overall, it's pretty good. I support this game in a ways where I don't add a link to this thread in my signature, but... Well, I hope you understand what you mean. I'd like to see how this game progresses. Good luck.

I usually make my posts in 'Tahoma', but for long ones I don't... *shot*.
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  #3    
Old January 3rd, 2009, 03:47 PM
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I get so excited when I see these new threads xD...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mystery Soul View Post
First of all, hi everyone at PokeCommunity This is a very thought out game Glad to hear it... that I've been jotting down notes for since last year. The reason this isn't in the Game developmet section is because I can't find a Zip File download for RPG Maker XP Postality Knights Edition Is that freeware? I wouldn't know, and I ask 'cause of all of the crack-users here (haha, that sounded like I meant something else =P).... Anyways...

Story:

Long ago, before man walked the Earth, there was the Original One, Arceus How do they know its name?. In one week Arceus had created the universe, the Earth, the Sun and Moon, and the beings of Space and Time; Palkia and Dialga Got anything original?. Arceus then created three more beings; The beings of Heaven, Earth, and the Underworld ...Diavil...Anjewl...and Groudon? xD. They were called Seraphium, Gaianon, and Sataruos ...I was gonna say how I don't like the names, but, comparing them to Charlie's, I guess it's all the same, really.. Arceus intructed them in their duties and the beings of Heaven and Earth took charge without hesitation So their administrators? What does the one for the Underworld get outta this (seems like a rotten deal t' me)?. However, Sataruos did not take kindly to being the ruler of a hot, underground domain Oh, so nothing? Surely, though, Arceus would offer some benefit.... He decided to rebel during Arceus's period of rest, which he took after creating humans on Earth; three days later. During his rest, Sataruos caused great havoc on Earth. Seraphium Why should Seraphium help? It's domain isn't Terra...wait, wouldn't Arceus rule over Heaven itself? and Gaianon could not stop him Why aren't they about equal-powered for a sense of balance? Where are Dialga and Palkia?, but a young woman, the princess of a community called Pokelantis ...yeeeeeah, does she have a name?, found a way to cease the Devil Pokemon's reighn of terror. She crafted a flute, an Azure Flute This has nothing to do with Arceus ..., and played it while on the highest altar in Pokelantis What song? Who wrote it? Where did she learn it? How did it soothe the pkmn?. She played the song Oracion ...grarg. Where did she learn it? on the flute and its tune awoke Arceus If that's indeed what it does, then how come Arceus did not awaken in the movie? When you say awaken, do you moreso mean summon?. When Arceus saw the terrors that Satauros had caused, he sealed away him away So he'd have to show himself, right?, in a stone coffin beneath a large mountain in the middle of the sea. However, before his imprisonment, Satauros cursed the princess that caused his demise by turning her into a Pokemon; the first Milotic You've got a really vivid imagination, and I like that...although this is blatantly not canon, it's something different. Not too original, either, but that's alright...I'm finding it interesting.. The Milotic then swan into the sea with the Azure Flute in its mouth and dropped it into the deepest crag in the sea Why wouldn't she go through more trouble to hide her Flute? Wouldn't she entrust it to a human?. Arceus felt terrible for the curse on the princess and decided to immortalize her as a statue of pure Turquoise ...I don't see what good that does her.. The people of Pokelantis mourned the loss of their princess but they wondered why she took the Azure Flute to the bottom of the sea...

Now, located in the museum of Valencia City Valencia Island...Valencia City...cxn?, is the statue of the princess in her Milotic form Explain Feebas to me. IMO, you could do so by adding to the story by making something yet happen to the Princess. Now that Sataruos is imprisoned, who rules over the Underworld? Why does it need ruling, anyways? A little expanding, and this'll look better... along with a restored tome of the events that took place in Pokelantis. Howvever, this legend spurred the interest of a terrible man, the leader of the evil Pokemon organization, Team Dark Fire Lose the evil team, pleeeeease...nobody wants to see them. It's better without 'em.. Now Team Dark Fire is causing havoc in the region of Cascade Why?; split into its three island masses of Cascade, Azurite What about the Aquanite and the Crimsonite?, and Turquoise. Their purpose, to find the Azure Flute to awaken Satauros What good would that do them? This pkmn wouldn't listen to the Arceus on High, so why would he listen to a few mortals? How did they learn this stuff, anyways? by playing Oracion's opposite Mortalitas, the song of death...Do you mean literally playing it backwards, or they learned another song from somewhere?

Plot: Zing!

You begin the game as the son/daughter of Professor Rosewood Lose the cliche; it's not needed..., the head of ancient Pokemon research in the Cascade Region. One morning you wake up to find a note on your mother's work desk saying that she left to do field studies on Route 400, beyond your hometown of Newbreeze. You round up your friend and your rival Is it a forced rival, or does s/he add to the plot? Wouldn't your rival be your friend, anyways? Unfriendly rivalries get dirty... and the three of you go out to Route 400 to find your mother being assualted by three men in black uniforms, later to be known as Team Dark Fire grunts. You and your companions do not hesitate to retrieve a PokeBall from a bag Rosewood had dropped a few feet behind her Can't you just make it a -little- different? Maybe as a twist on things, the grunts left their bags on the ground, and you raid those. Fair is fair, right? I bet they stole those pkmn, anyways, and they need loving trainers.... The PokeBall you choose contains your Starter. After making your choice, you battle one of the grunts and defeat them. After, Rosewood takes you three back to the lab to explain the situation and gives you the Pokemon you chose to fight the grunt as a gift, along with a PokeDex Why is there a pkdex? Were you guys planning on being trainers before this? What does the professor get outta it?, five PokeBalls, and a Trainer Pack. She asks the three of you to complete the PokeDex and gather information ...meh. on every Pokemon native to Cascade. Thus begining your adventure to complete the PokeDex, along the way you start participating in Gym battles and Contests, and also begin to uncover information on Team Dark Fire...

Features:
*202 new Pokemon ...please don't say plus 493...
*An entirly new region
*The addition of a Pokemon Academy, which you enroll in. Three dorms: Charizard, Pikachu, and Blastoise?
*New moves and D/P attacks
*The chance to capture every Pokemon
*An individual storyline for every Legendary Pokemon How many are there?! Just the four...?
*New items
*Focus on Arcues, Milotic, and three new Legendaries You've gotta weave in Feebas...the first longer set of questions is what you should flesh out for more elegance here.

Progress:
Even though I can't actually begin working on the game, I've worked on its data.

PokeDex 100%
Routes, Towns, Cities 96%
Attacks 0%
Items 0%
Trainers 0%
Gyms and Elite 4 50%

So wat do you all think?
Nytkoi: give specifics when chewing up the story (otherwise, they don't get any help)...but don't worry, I think I did plenty of that in the form of ?s for you 8D...
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  #4    
Old January 3rd, 2009, 03:52 PM
Nytkoi's Avatar
Nytkoi
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Heh, sorry about that ;D Just trying to get to the point without getting my hands numb~
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  #5    
Old January 3rd, 2009, 06:15 PM
h POKE's Avatar
h POKE
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This seems like more of a matter of religion. And if we've learned anything of political correctness, religion and pokemon are a big no-no combination... Second of all, for all its promising originality (despite the obvious poor taste in the beginning), the actual plot of the game is quite disappointing. Not only does the rival, as AZ said, seem "forced", but also the professor.
In all consideration, how much does having a professor add to your plot? You started with an idea that goes against the norm (although it probably would be nigh impossible to convey in a game), why don't you continue that theme into the actual game instead of deliberately tying yourself down with the cliches made by the professionals?
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  #6    
Old January 4th, 2009, 08:25 AM
Mystery Soul
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Gah. Gone for a day and this happens. Anyways, look, I'm like 14 and a hlaf, so my skills with a dynamic story and plot are not the most original. Also, the name. Anyone have suggestions? To answer some questions:

1.Freeware? No idea. It's the hacked version that I used on my old computer cause I'm too cheap to pay=D
2.The princess's name is to be revealed should the game be made
3.Seraphium and Gaianon couldn't defeat him for the reason that (A) Seraphium is Light in type and by my rules Dark trumps Light and vice versa. (B)It makes the plot better, no?
4.The song, obviously based from the Rise of Darkrai, was written by her as well. Jeez, do I have to type EVERY detail?
5.Yes, she summoned him/it.
6.She's a Pokemon, no talking, see? Besides, what if she entrusted it to a human that wanted to use Arceus for his own nefarious purposes?
7.I know, however, she isn't technically dead, just imprisoned. It all has a way of coming together, trust me
8.I had no idea that the name Valencia was already used but what ever.
9.Feebas plays a somewhat secret role in this.
10.It's still in Satauros's control, he's just imprisoned. Will be explained.
11.EVERY game has an evil team/group. They stay.
12. Hence the opposite song. And this evil mastermind isn't stupid. Yet again, to be revealed.
13.Cliche? I don't remember a game where your the professor's child...
14.Friendly rival. Yes, they add to the plot.
15. Good idea...I may use that...
16. Technically, yes.
17. Um, yeah. ALL Pokemon will be catchable.
18. No, havn't thought of names.
19. I meant a story for EVERY Legendary.
20. There will be Feebas. That I can promise.
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  #7    
Old January 4th, 2009, 08:38 AM
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Keep this on the hush, but i found you the Zip file!
http://www.sendspace.com/file/kjydv8
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  #8    
Old January 4th, 2009, 01:35 PM
Mystery Soul
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Holy crud! Thanks, Jonny! Once I get it going, I'll post some screenies and Pokemon. Also, I have a new look for the plot. But, I'll reveal that later.
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  #9    
Old January 4th, 2009, 02:18 PM
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h POKE
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Anybody who knows a good thing or two about Spain would also realize that Valencia isn't just a name for the province of video games. And... A story for every legendary? All of these plans and ideas and wishes makes me kind of wonder what kids are smoking these days. In case you couldn't tell from the hundreds of examples here, making video games is difficult. That means that going around and making empty promises is just a waste of time if you don't even have experience in the program you are -illegally- downloading...

And as for your first point, being younger than some (I'm younger than you) does not mean you get a free pass from having to make your story just as well-developed and thoughtfully written as the next guy.
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  #10    
Old January 4th, 2009, 02:26 PM
Mystery Soul
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Wow. Never thought I'd get an Internet lecture. That's what I have parents for, k? And for your info, I'm experienced enough with it to know how to make the game, savvy?

Also, to anyone else, It says I need authorization for some UI Gothic font. Help?
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