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  #1    
Old January 16th, 2009 (02:08 PM).
The Heavenly Hunter's Avatar
The Heavenly Hunter The Heavenly Hunter is offline
The Heavenly Sword Wielder
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: In The Flying Foxs Den rescuing Kai.
Age: 19
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Thank You

The sun sets
Upon the golden sand
We sit together
Hand in hand

We gently embrace
And look into each other's eyes
I wonder if you are
An angel in disguise

You hold me
Like there's no tomorrow
I suddenly forget
The past sorrow

I kiss your soft lips
And you kiss mine
I never knew
Loving someone could be this fine

You pick me up
And carry me to our room
Oh how a love can blossom
And a heart can bloom.

Your touch is so gentle
But your hands so strong
How could a love like this
Ever go wrong?

My heart is beating
200 times a minute
Because my love
You are in it

The sound of your heartbeat
All through the night
We fall asleep in each other's arms
And wake to the morning light.

I look into your eyes
And this is when
I say "Thank You"
For teaching me to love again.

Well waddya think?
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  #2    
Old January 18th, 2009 (02:38 PM).
h POKE's Avatar
h POKE h POKE is offline
angry kid and a keyboard
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: CT
Posts: 318
I couldn't help but think of something dirty when I read this. But, ermm... If you're a man, it's generally pretty wrong to write from a woman's point of view. Just sayin'. A good poem, but the subject is, in my opinion cliche. On the positive side, you showed well the meaning of love.
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