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  #26    
Old March 29th, 2009, 09:09 AM
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1. You *WILL* get more evil Cynthia and you will get Lucian x Cynthia (kinda *sweatdrops*). What more IS there that you want? Oh, Sabrina and Will getting together again? Maybe, maybe not. Haven't decided yet. 0=)
2. ....you can threaten me, but will I care?
__________________
The Time goes by Here's my Key Philosophy And take your Time
So naturally A Freak like me To trust in me
While you'll receive Just needs And you'll find
~*~Infinity~*~
Lyrics from:Guru Josh Project:Infinity 2008
  #27    
Old March 29th, 2009, 10:31 AM
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Hehe, sorry; I fell asleep reading this. Not that it was boring, I was just really tired.

Anyway, I hate to blabber about grammar errors, but...

Quote:
meeting that lied ahead of him.
I believe it should be "lay" instead of "lied."

Quote:
wanted to have her around him more, too, yet she, especially she should know that the job he had was very important.
This is an error I saw a lot- the run-on sentance. There should be a period or semi-colon after "too" and before "yet." You often use "yet" as a joining word like "and," "or," and "but" even though "yet" is not truely a joining word. "Yet" made this sentance a run-on.

Quote:
There were not only a bunch of four talented idiots who lived off his renting and noble donations depending on it, but the whole land of Indigo, with its thousands of people and thousands of stacks of office papers.
Maybe I'm not reading this sentance right, but something does not make sense to me. I think it's the "bunch of four" that is messing me up.

Quote:
For a seemingly endless moment, she stared at Lance with her pale, grey eyes and innocent, silent smile, then she walked over to his chair, grabbed his collar and lifted him up, unhindered because Lance had never thought of needing his bodyguards with another champion in the same room.
Run-on. Period after smile.

Quote:
She knew his work took up a lot of time, yet she had hoped, maybe dumbly hoped that he would at least greet her and tell her what his absence had been about.
There should be a comma after "hoped" and you did the yet/run-on combo again.

Quote:
She hadn’t moved at all since the beginning of the battle, only keeping on staring down.
Keeping should be kept.

There were a few other times you used the yet/ run-on combo, but I didn't bother putting them all here.

Anyway, on to my more thoughtful comments.

Overall, this was, once again, a very good chapter. The battle was well described, as were Sabrina's emotions.

Right now, the plot is a little confusing, but I think it is supposed to be. This chapter opened many questions. For instance, I'm curious to see why Sabrina has the Eevee egg (I think) and why Cynthia wants her to have the egg. I also can't wait to find out what Lucian is so worried about and what Koga is going to do about his daughter.

Hehe, Cynthia's a real player... lol.

Quote:
Will smiled nervously, yet dared to place a kiss on her cheek, causing Janine to laugh even louder and blush.
I was about to murder Will at this moment. Sabrina should have, actually.

I felt so bad for Sabrina! With the way Will has been acting, I'm glad she dumped him, but it really stinks for her.

Ahh! Can't wait for the next chapter! Your story is great!
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  #28    
Old March 29th, 2009, 10:50 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by delongbi View Post
This is an error I saw a lot- the run-on sentance. There should be a period or semi-colon after "too" and before "yet." You often use "yet" as a joining word like "and," "or," and "but" even though "yet" is not truely a joining word. "Yet" made this sentance a run-on.
*grumbles about how they literally teach one nothing in English* I always thought 'yet' was like 'and', 'or' and so....*makes note to herself to search through the next chapter for any 'yet'* Would it be better then to cut the sentence before the 'yet' and just make a new one?

Quote:
Originally Posted by delongbi View Post
Right now, the plot is a little confusing, but I think it is supposed to be. This chapter opened many questions. For instance, I'm curious to see why Sabrina has the Eevee egg (I think) and why Cynthia wants her to have the egg. I also can't wait to find out what Lucian is so worried about and what Koga is going to do about his daughter.
Yes, it is supposed to be confusing. *g* The next chapter might either answer some questions or bring up even more, depends on how you view it.
Well, I can at least answer one question out of these. Sabrina has the egg because she found it. *lol* It was the egg that was left after Hunter J's appearance.

Quote:
Originally Posted by delongbi View Post
I was about to murder Will at this moment. Sabrina should have, actually.
ROFL, just ROFL.... I was just about to say 'Poor guy, needs love too', but then, you're right, Will acted very thoughtless here and he will get punished. Sorta.

Quote:
Originally Posted by delongbi View Post
I felt so bad for Sabrina! With the way Will has been acting, I'm glad she dumped him, but it really stinks for her.
It does. And it will continue during the next chapter. BTW, the next chapter should be up very soon. It's finished and just needs to be beta-read. ^^
__________________
The Time goes by Here's my Key Philosophy And take your Time
So naturally A Freak like me To trust in me
While you'll receive Just needs And you'll find
~*~Infinity~*~
Lyrics from:Guru Josh Project:Infinity 2008
  #29    
Old March 29th, 2009, 10:58 AM
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delongbi
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Quote:
*grumbles about how they literally teach one nothing in English*
Lol. I completely agree... I learned everything I know from my cousin.

Quote:
Would it be better then to cut the sentence before the 'yet' and just make a new one?
Sometimes you can write "and yet... blah, blah, blah" or you can just stick a period before the yet and start a new sentance. Then, sometimes, it's better just to rephrase the whole thing. It really depends on the situation.

Quote:
BTW, the next chapter should be up very soon. It's finished and just needs to be beta-read.
Yay!!!! Can't wait!
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  #30    
Old April 22nd, 2009, 08:58 AM
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*grumbles about busy beta-readers* SO absolutely sorry for this delay, but bear with me, I had to put up with a exam-writing beta-reader. ^.~
Last shipping of this fic was included last chapter as I said. It was WikiErrorShipping (great name, really), aka Cynthia x Lance.

5.Chapter, Part 2: Breakups& Breakdowns

“It’s over, William.”

“What?” Now he was mirroring her non-existing movements, staring at her as well. He felt so cold, frozen in place, frozen in that one moment of time. He could hear her words, yet it was as if they had never reached his consciousness. He could just not grasp their meaning, his whole mind frozen, too cold to think.

Sabrina closed her eyes, appearing to be sighing. Will wondered if he could trust his eyes anymore, for he saw a white haze appearing as she spoke, indicating that the temperature around them had indeed fallen. Yet that was not possible, was it? They were still in the stadium, on a spring’s afternoon...weren’t they? He couldn’t be sure anymore, as his mind played tricks on him-unbelievable tricks.

“It’s over. Our relationship...is over.” She opened her eyes again and her icy blue stare bore into his lively violet one. There couldn’t be a bigger contrast between the auras those two gave off. Sabrina was cold, unemotional, and uncaring again, while Will was still feeling the heat of the battle, the happiness from all the persons greeting and congratulating him. All the warmness.

“What? You can’t be, you can’t be serious!” he exclaimed, suddenly shocked and slightly frightened. She didn’t look as if she was joking at all....

“I am serious.” Her voice had turned into a whisper-a quiet clear whisper, which was as sharp as the hiss of a snake. He could understand every word. Every word was understandable, and yet not understandable for him.

“But, why?” He shook his head, still not believing what she was saying. She wanted to...break up with him? Why, just why? He thought it had been love...true love...but, had it all been a joke now? The Sabrina he knew wasn’t joking, not about serious things like their time together. But then...that meant she really...was breaking up with him. “Why?”

Her sigh sounded helpless, hurt, as if she was hoping for herself not to be there, not to have to do what she was doing. And yet, she forced herself to speak to him.

“You don’t love me. I see that now. Please understand me, Will. I do not wish to be hurt anymore. It’s better, for both of us.”

“But, but...” He couldn’t believe her words. She actually thought he didn’t love her?! Had she lost her sanity?! He loved her more than anything else! He bit his tongue, fearing he hadn’t shown his love as much as maybe he needed. Maybe he should have kept away from Janine, but...it hadn’t been his decision, damnit! He had no chance to get away from her! “I do love you! Please, believe me!“ If she was so strong of a psychic, couldn’t she just read his mind and find out?

But...maybe she had done that. Maybe he was lying to himself. Maybe he did love Janine...

No. Definitely not. Will shook his head.

“I wish I could believe you, Will, yet what you’ve done speaks against you.” She closed her eyes again. “Just remember...I loved you. I wish it could have worked, but it did not. Goodbye.”

And with her last word, she disappeared, reality surrounding Will again. He could see Janine, Lance, and all the other trainers around him, concerned, as he was kneeling on the stairs, apparently pale and not completely on the earth anymore. Dimly, he wondered if Sabrina had teleported him somewhere, or what else it had been about, but more important things flashed into his mind, making him jump, even though his legs weren’t that strong. He nearly fell, trying to run up the stairs. But his hope was destroyed.

Sabrina wasn’t there anymore.

~~~~~~~

The town of Indigo was not only known for its famous league and the tournaments that took stage here, but also for the mass of touristic industries that had been built around it, benefitting from the attractiveness it had on the trainers. And with that, not only ten-year olds were appealed.

Indigo Town had many night bars, adult cinemas, dancing theatres and other colourful establishments with their fancy decorations, disguising names, hidden entries and bright, gleaming neon lights. Many of them were in downtown, where the more celebrated, richer citizens claimed they never went to, but that was only the attempt of keeping the clean, straight image of infallibility.

In reality, many of the high society member parties took place there, as those were the only places where they could forget the strict rules, the rigid conventions, and just be humans, with all their emotions, tragedies, feelings, happiness, and dirtiness. Not to mention that they were technically the only ones who could pay the horrendous prices for...special staff.

If there was one place you theoretically couldn’t find Sabrina Bennett in, it was there.

But today’s night was not a usual night, not after everything that had happened the afternoon before.

Her dark violet coat wrapped tightly around her body, she walked silently through the shadows, out of the reach of the flickering street lamps and blinding neon sights, the rounded dusty tubes in ugly loud colours. It was getting cold again, the warm of the afternoon and April’s sun misleading one to the conclusion it might already be summer in the mountains, when it wasn’t. The nights were still cold; sometimes there were even small layers of ice covering the fresh, small blossoms on the trees at the streets’ sides. Sabrina didn’t know why she was forcing herself to do this, to wander around aimlessly when it was close to midnight, and anything but safe outside. She should go back to her hotel room, to her bed and try to find some sleep. But deep inside, she knew she wouldn’t be able to bear the emotional pain, knowing that she was so close to him and yet...so far. She wouldn’t find any sleep in a hotel room that was directly next to his. And since she hadn’t bothered with finding a new one the whole afternoon- who could take offence at that, regarding all the trouble she had been through?-there was not much she could do right now, besides spending the whole night on the streets. She felt even lonelier now, with the darkness not only surrounding her body, but also her soul. There was no one caring for her anymore. If she got attacked there, robbed, hurt, raped...no one would care. No one.

Sniffing and glancing at the side, where some fat, unshaved scum was drinking...unrecognizable stuff, she shook her head. She could take care of herself, as she wasn’t one of the most powerful psychics for nothing. Yet, it would have been nice not to be truly alone in the world, to have at least someone she could lean on, someone that saw in her more than just the gym leader and the psychic, but the...person.

Again, the young woman shook her head. It wouldn’t help her anything to pity herself. Somehow, she had to survive this night and then, maybe then, everything would look a bit brighter the next morning. After all, the meeting would be over in six days, and then she would be home again, maybe finally able to forget all the nasty incidents and...him.

She had to go back to regularity after all. She had her gym and school to lead and that was enough trouble for her, yet trouble she was used to. She could deal with that. Not with a broken heart, though.

Maybe it had been her fault, her inexperience. She had never been loved before-at least not in the romantic way, for she at least hoped that her parents did love her, even after all she had put them through. Maybe that had been the reason she had been stupid enough to be tricked, to be cheated on. She had no understanding of the ways of love. She was one of the strongest gym leaders-and lacked knowledge of the most essential human emotion. She was truly pathetic.

Even more pathetic was the fact that she was already missing him. And couldn’t help but think of him.

“Damn it!” the psychic cursed, kicking an empty can in front of her, so hard it bounced off the bin to her left and flew right into it. She couldn’t forget him as easily as she had hoped. Life wasn’t just as easy anymore, now that she had a whole bunch of emotions to deal with. Sometimes, she wished Ash had never set foot in Saffron City. Sometimes, she wondered if she had been better off without any emotions.

After all, she had only ended up hurt.

Glancing at the illuminated side of the street, she noticed a lonely bar, its wooden door half open, sending a warm, orange light onto the stony sidewalk. It seemed different from all the other pubs: more friendly, more like home, more...more like something she definitely needed right now. Besides sleep.

Maybe she did need a drink. After all, alcohol was said to make your mind clearer, right?

Glancing to the left and the right, she sprinted over to the entrance, swallowing her fear and hesitance, yet wondering where these feelings even came from. She had no reason to be afraid, no reason to be uncertain-after all, her powers were her safest protection. She could get out of every situation; she didn’t need anyone to guard her.

A wall of stale air hit her, smelling of different types of alcohol, wood polisher, and cigarette smoke. Clearly, this was no place she would ever visit if she had her sanity, but right now, she couldn’t imagine a more fitting atmosphere. Better than crying into her bed sheets at least. She assumed she should be surprised by her own behaviour, but she wasn’t. There were other things certainly more shocking...

Like the presence of Lucian and Claire.

“What...what are you two doing here?” Sabrina asked, walking up to her two fellow trainers and hanging her coat over the backrest of an empty chair, before sitting down on a barstool to Lucian’s right.

“Well, what does it look like?” the psychic elite trainer said slowly, downing a small glass filled with an amber-coloured liquid. “Drowning our sorrows, that it!” His voice went through several octaves.

Claire laughed, a high, shaking laugh, mixed with a coughing. She had a colourful cocktail in front of her, even with a small cherry which was nearly covered by blue-white froth in the middle. “But they seem to...to can swim...” she hiccupped, hitting the bar table with her fist. “Another one, please!” The barkeeper, a young, brown-haired man with a small beard, wearing blue-red-white clothes, nodded without looking at her, getting a similar glass and a few bottles with fancy labels and pictures of beaches.

“What sorrows, if I may ask?” Sabrina wasn’t looking at Lucian and Claire anymore, rather watching the barman and his mixings. It did look fascinating and she supposed she could have a drink herself, as after all, one couldn’t hurt so much and she knew how to restrain herself enough to leave it at that. Now, if she only knew what these names meant, and what ingredients were in them...


“Ah, fickle things, you know, love...” Lucian suddenly sounded as if he had aged fifty years in a matter of five minutes. “We both got turned down.” He laughed, a short, empty laugh, closing his eyes and rocking back and forth on the stool, while trying to grab the next small glass with the same liquid. Sabrina was close to helping the poor guy. Yet she did not know if it would really help him if she got the glass for him or if it would be better to pour it into the sink.

Claire nodded, shaking her head as she managed to get her nose dipped into the cocktail. “Lance an-and that, you know, that woman from Sin, Sin, Sinnoh...they were seen together today. Somewhere. Kissing.” ‘What an... unfortunate coincidence...’ Sabrina mused, her mood suddenly as down as Claire’s head. Lucian chuckled suddenly, yet sounding as if he was close to vomiting.

“And then both of them break up with us. Funny, not? Just after the battle...just after I’m down already...stupid shippers, messed up our whole plan...” He laughed and grabbed blindly, trying to get the third glass, but all he was holding was the ashtray and he had to thank Sabrina for not getting an extreme case of silicosis.

The psychic gym leader sighed deeply. “Same here, actually... Will cheated on me, too.” She looked downwards, at the strained wooden floor and so, she was fairly startled when a hand touched her shoulder.

“You, too?” both Lucian and Claire exclaimed, the former being the one touching her, while the latter rather pronounced something that sounded like ‘Youtwo’.

Lucian leaned back, forgetting that the barstool had to backrest for a moment and almost fell down, yet steadied himself sideward at the last second. “You now, eh, know, ehm...we should open up some club, hehe...the leftovers or something.” Sabrina sweatdropped, while Claire hit the table so hard with her fist that the glasses clanged and one of Lucian’s actually tipped over and fell down.


“Never! I’m no going ta be in the some, eh, same class, no, wait club as her!” she exclaimed while pointing at Sabrina, or at least in her general direction, as it couldn’t be made out where Claire actually wanted to point with her whole body wavering.

“No offence, but I don’t want, either,” Sabrina whispered, not daring to cross Claire’s eyes. They had never been on good terms and even though Claire was drunk right now, she wouldn’t suddenly start acting all friendly. Maybe she was indeed in desperate need of company, but she wouldn’t lower herself to the level of actually trying to make friends with one of her bigger enemies.

Lucian patted her shoulder again, smiling whimsically. “Ah, I can understand what you’re going through, we all can, we all can.” He sighed and indicated the barkeeper to come closer. “Bring her something, too. I’ll pay for it.“ For a moment, Sabrina wanted to turn down the offer, knowing that whatever she would get now would, for once, be unknown to her and second, not good for her anyway. But then, against her better knowledge, she stayed quiet. What was the point of going to a bar when you didn’t even drink? She was there to have some fun, to forget all the pain of that day, and what better resolution was there than drinking? Of course, not much. She wouldn’t allow herself to get drunk like both Claire and Lucian were, as her self-esteem, or rather what was left of it, would get in the way of that anyway.

And still, she accepted the drink without even asking what it was. Different from Claire’s cocktail, of course, hers was a bright red. ‘Like the colour of...’ Sighing, she closed her eyes and took a small sip. It tasted sweet, yet bitter at the same time. ‘Fitting, very fitting.’ She supposed she could get used to this flavour.

~~~~~~~

Miles away from the debacle that was about to happen, a young girl, barely in her teenage years, bounced along the empty, quiet street, marked with diverse flowers, bushes and trees. A lonely street lamp was the only witness of her joyfulness, or so the girl at least thought.

She held onto the street lamp with one hand and spun around it like in that old movie with the cheesy rain song. Yet she couldn’t care less, as after all, she had to show the world how great she felt, how lucky she was, how good everything had turned out. She had the cutest boy in the whole of Indigo in her hands, and no one, absolutely no one, was ever going to take him away from her now. May her friends think now that she was egoistical, keeping Will all for herself, when the original plan had only been getting his mind off Sabrina, and then starting yet another competition for his heart, but who cared? Not her, not her.

She had played foul when stealing Will- though Janine herself wouldn’t describe it as stealing, more like getting him back on the right road, and now she played foul by keeping him. So what? Life was never fair, but it was good.

At least for her. Deep inside, Janine knew she had caused some hearts to break that day, but she suppressed these dark thoughts as good as she could, lowering their importance and quantity. Sabrina would get over it, Janine was sure of that. After all, that witch had never deserved him, and she should know that, so it would have been only a matter of time until the right princess for the handsome came and saved him out of the grasp of the witch. She had no, absolutely no right to be sad and depressed now, for their relationship had been anything but real, anything but true love. Janine wondered briefly how a guy as smart as Will could have fallen into such a wicked trap, though she supposed Sabrina’s abilities had helped a bit. ‘What an unfair trick, influencing him with her powers...that cheater!’ Janine grumbled, pressing her fingers together so hard that there was a quiet cracking sound. Janine felt angry, at the same time not knowing who she was angry at. Sabrina, for stealing so much of the time the young ninja and Will could have spent together? Her friends, for choosing her out of pure boredom and fuelling the rivalry between them when it was clear that there could be only one girl winning in the end? Will, for not recognising her emotions earlier? Or herself, for having caused this mess?

Surprisingly, Lance had taken this rather well. Janine put a finger to her chin, recalling the short briefing they had after the battle. Lance seemed...well, rather calm and relaxed, yet with his mind elsewhere. He had this weird, unusual wicked smile, too. As if he wasn’t completely himself. But then, Lance often overtaxed himself, so it was probably just his strained nerves playing games with his personality.

Would fit the rumours about him breaking up with Claire all of a sudden and making up to Cynthia, of all the people!

Janine shrugged. Those matters did not concern her, aside from the general topic of breaking up. After all, Sabrina had officially given up Will, or so other sources said, and so, he was free. Free for her, of course. For her only. She had confessed her feelings to him, now she only needed to wait until he would do the same. He still had about six days, and Janine figured that would be enough for the poor, still confused boy to sort everything out and finally see that the right girl for him had always been around, just waiting in the shadows.

Yet, the right girl was not the one waiting in the shadows right now, but rather someone else. Someone Janine knew very well, and respected very much.

“Daughter, I must say I’m deeply disappointed with you.” ”Yikes!” Janine suddenly let go of the street lamp’s post, and landed face down straight on the street walk, embarrassing herself even more. Now her father had seen her singing....

“Daddy- I mean, dear father,” Janine bowed, one side of her face still decorated with grey, little pebbles. “It’s an honour to meet you here, after...” Koga waved his hand, silencing Janine.

“Cut off the formalities, Janine. I’m here to speak to you both as your mentor and your father.” He sighed. “What you’ve done is wrong. Very wrong.“

“What?” Janine didn’t really get what she had done wrong. Her father had every right to scold and discipline her, yet she had no idea what it was about now...

“Janine, it’s a ninja's rule to play fair. And not to meddle with others’ emotions.” He sighed. “Love is a very complicated thing; I can imagine that a girl as young as you doesn’t know all its subtleties yet. You’re still too immature, that speaks for you, so I can still forgive you of many of your mistakes. What I can’t forgive, though, is that you deliberately broke up a young, until now very happy couple.” His dark eyes locked onto hers, never leaving her and scanning her soul as precisely as an X-ray unit could.

“But, but?” Janine blinked. She would have never thought that her father would try to interfere with her love life; she thought she had at least those freedoms. “Sabrina didn’t deserve him! He was always supposed to be mine! My boyfriend!”

Koga sighed. He truly was speaking to a little, naive little child, but then, he should have expected that from his daughter. She still had much to learn to achieve true wisdom.

“And who told you this? Who played the cards of fate and decided that they wouldn’t be king and queen of the same colour and symbol? You?” he laughed. But it was a friendly laugh, not meant to make his daughter feel ashamed, even though it was debatable if she didn’t deserve that. “Maybe they are meant for each other. How should you know? You only threw yourself right into the mess, not caring about the damage you might cause. Janine, I’m really disappointed with you. Ninjas do not try to steal their beloved ones; they do not destroy steady relationships.” He closed his eyes, sighing. After all the scolding, he had to admit that he wasn’t all that innocent himself.

“Yet, I feel responsible for this, too. I have watched you, and kept watching for too long, letting things go freely without my intervention. Had I talked to you earlier, this wouldn’t have happened.”

Janine blinked. “What do you mean, wouldn’t have happened?” she asked, raising an eyebrow. Maybe her question would get her father’s mind of the discussion, as for now, Janine did feel guilty. She had been reckless and thoughtless.

Koga sighed. “I have been keeping an eye on Sabrina, knowing that after everything she’s been through, she might be a bit...emotionally unstable.” ‘Please bear with me, my dear....I came too late.’

“And?” Janine crossed her arms defensively. No way would she start feeling remorse because of that...witch. Guilt, yes, because her father was angry with her, but never remorse. Sabrina didn’t need her apology.

Her father sighed again. “Janine, she is in a bar in downtown Indigo...and drunk.“

“Oh...” Knowing Sabrina, this was a grim situation. And suddenly, Janine did feel the whole weight of shame and regret wash over her.
__________________
The Time goes by Here's my Key Philosophy And take your Time
So naturally A Freak like me To trust in me
While you'll receive Just needs And you'll find
~*~Infinity~*~
Lyrics from:Guru Josh Project:Infinity 2008
  #31    
Old April 22nd, 2009, 08:59 AM
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Psychic*Absol
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(Continued)

“A-d-and ya know wha-what? She said I wasn’t her first! Whoopey, big deal, I said, no surprise, eh? That girl gets around.” Lucian staggered forth and back, the glass in his left hand half empty, but only because half of the liquid had not actually ended up in his mouth, but rather the bar’s floor. Yet, that didn’t matter, both to Lucian and his body. He didn’t need any more alcohol to be kind of high.

And he wasn’t the only one.

Claire burped, spitting out some droplets of her drink out at the same time, laughing hard. “Hah! You think Lancy was my first? Never.“ She paused to take a sip from the bottle itself, not even bothering with letting her drinks getting mixed, rather combining the different brands in her mouth.

“The guy was my...oh dear, I forgot.” She giggled whimsically, sniffing at the smoke filled air and leaning back. “I forgot how many boyfriends I had! Yay!” the dragon gym leader laughed again, not even caring about the people around hearing all her private stories when during her soberness, they would be running for their lives by then, fearing Claire’s whip.

Now the only thing they had to fear was her breath.

One dose full of Claire’s air would probably give one enough blood alcohol to fail a driving test.

“I’ve forgotten how many boyfriends I had, too~oo...” Lucian whistled, laughing through every second word. “Boyfriends?” Claire tried to stare at him, the emphasis on ‘tried’. Just like before, her world was swimming and with her body not under her control anymore, she was doubly disorientated. “You had boyfriends?” she asked, just to make sure she had heard right. Her ears weren’t working so well...

Lucian looked at her with a complete lack of understanding.”I had boyfriends?”

Claire laughed out loud. “Oh my god, you have short termed memory! Hah, get it, short termed...aw, whatever.” She waved her hand when no one seemed to get, or rather, care for her joke.

Lucian still blinked. “What boyfriends?” He looked around the room, as if he was expecting a random guy to lurk around the corner, just waiting for the right moment to glomp him – or do worse, from behind.

“Cut it out, Lucian, you never had boyfriends. Now I wish I never had one, either.” Surprisingly, Sabrina sounded much sober than one should have expected from a woman who usually didn’t drink much and just had swallowed her seventh cocktail. Or was it the eighth? She had given up counting them....

“You had a boyfriend?” Lucian had obviously forgotten the number of drinks he had consumed hours ago.

“Yeah, I had. A quiet dumb one...dumped me the very second I left him alone. A*shole.” Sabrina growled with a tone of voice never ever heard before, before reaching for the bottle of beer Claire had more or less bought for them, which was now standing between the dragon gym leader and Lucian. She had decided that beer didn’t taste quite as good as wine or whisky or these sweet lemonade-spirits mixes. The barkeeper, though-that idiot! Refused to give them anymore, so they had to fall back on more old fashioned methods of damaging their brain. ‘Imbecile...’ Sabrina snorted. ‘Thinking he knows us better than we do.’

Obviously, she thought she knew enough about her body to force more alcohol into it than she had drunk in her whole life before, every little drop of it counted in.

“Oh, I never knew,” Lucian giggled. “Can I be your boyfriend?” he asked, with a gipsy smile, leaning towards Sabrina who backed away. His sunglasses hanged in lop-sided on his nose.

“Nah,” she shook her head. “You have a girlfriend. Or had. Or something. I don’t know, damn.“ She gave off a loopy smile. Her memory wasn’t as bad as Lucian’s yet. Proof that she was not drunk. Not she. Not the psychic gym leader of Fuchsia.

Oh wait, not Fuchsia. Pewter, right?

“Damn.” She couldn’t even remember her home town anymore, what a pity. Frustrated, she tried to take a sip from the beer bottle, yet found it to be completely empty already. Growling, Sabrina snapped her fingers, indicating that she wanted another. The barkeeper rolled his eyes, and yet he reached for another brown bottle beneath the bar table. He couldn’t allow his customers to get so drunk that it was physically endangering their health, but, that bit of beer couldn’t make it worse, could it? And in the end, after all...they did pay. Maybe even a bit more. In their condition, they weren’t able to properly see the numbers on the notes anymore, much less count together the bill.

Not even bothering to get a bottle opener, Sabrina used her powers to push away the cap. However, as unconcentrated as she was, she rather managed to make the liquid overheat and it sizzled, dripping out as a yellowish froth at the gap between the cap and the bottle itself. Yet, even that did not trouble the psychic; she licked away the droplets with delight, getting her lips slightly cut open in the process.

Claire sighed and shrugged. “If you’re that desperate, you can be my best friend, guy. After all, my last one, ehm...my last one...” She blinked. Something was not right, yet Claire could not put her finger on it. She couldn’t put her finger on anything; she was staggering way too much for that. “My last one was weird...”

“Yeah, he was related to you...” Sabrina laughed. Now that was funny, having a relative as a boyfriend…

“Related to you?” Lucian asked, head spinning around, trying to watch the two girls at the same time.

“Yeah, he was my....oh god, what was he again?” Claire blinked and stared at the ceiling. Her family was so damn big... “He was my father’s son’s brother...oh, no, wait....that’s not right. He was my brother’s father’s son...“

“That’s...that’s the same!” Sabrina said weakly, the words only forming slowly.

“Oh, yes, you’re right, the same..ehm...isn’t he my brother’s father?”

“You’re dating your father?”

“No, no, of course not! Hehe…“ Claire giggled. “Then he is my son’s brother’s father.”

“You have a son?” Now it was Sabrina’s turn to be slightly surprised. Her mind was staggering, she was fairly sure Claire had no son...or had she? Had she herself any children? Not as far as she knew...but if so, then they were poor to have a mother who was sitting in a bar at nearly three o’clock in the morning. And who hadn’t succeeded at all in forgetting her boyfriend...

“Oops...I hope not...” the dragon trainer laughed out loud, hitting the table with her fist. “If I have, though... I don’t know about it. Isn’t that funny? I don’t know if I had a son…and what my boyfriend is…“

“He is your uncle,” Sabrina muttered, fairly sure about this. Just as sure as she was that she came from Celadon.

“Well, then my uncle....does that matter?” Claire asked, reaching for the bottle, finding it to be nowhere near her reach. She blinked. She was fairly sure there had just been a bottle of beer next to her hand, but now, it wasn’t there anymore. Had it run away? But bottles had no legs, had they?

“It kinda does matter....,” Sabrina growled. There wasn’t any more beer coming out, and at the same time she did not know how to open the bottle properly...”If you ever want to have children, they’re going to be nutcases.” Looking around, the psychic finally decided that the edge of the bar table would be sharp enough to cut open the bottle, despite the obvious difference in stability, resulting in the wood’s disadvantage and further destruction.

And in a bottle getting split in half.

“Eeeeks!” Lucian cried, in a tone normally not used by any member of a male species, at least not on purpose. His whole jacket was wet now, wet and probably going to be sticky once the liquid dried off. Yet, Lucian was not half as angry as Claire, despite her being nearly dry. After all, she had Lucian who sat in front of her as a living barrier. The few drops that hit Claire weren’t nearly enough to be mentioned, but, fuelled with alcohol to the brim; it only took a minor accident to break her loose.

“Hey, what do you think you’re doing!“ she screamed, waving wildly with her hands. She hit Lucian several times, although all he cared about was getting his hair style right again and cleaning his sunglasses to see at least accurately what was going on.

“Ehm, getting this bottle open?” Sabrina asked uncertainly, while staring unhappily at the half bottle in her hand, its sharp edges grinning at her evilly. No chance of drinking from that bottle anymore...

“Yeah, and getting me all dirty and wet!” Claire growled. It was debatable if the few droplets were even visible without a magnifying glass.

Sabrina thought the same. Yet another proof that she was completely sober. Claire and Lucian were drunk, not her. Never her. It was just impossible for her to get drunk. And she hadn’t consumed nine drinks over the span of four hours, no, of course not. And these beer bottles on the floor were just empty by accident, nothing more.

“You want to get in trouble?” Claire’s voice was desperately trying to sound intimidating and dark when in really, her vocal cords were close to faltering.

‘Aren’t I already in trouble?’ Sabrina’s eyes started to water. She wanted to cry and didn’t even know why. No, she wasn’t drunk. No, she wasn’t missing Will. No, she wasn’t depressed. No, she wasn’t thinking of death...

No, she wasn’t lying to herself.

And she would prove the world that she was capable of caring for herself just aswell. She didn’t need anyone.

“Maybe I do.” Her smile was evil. She was going to prove her strength. Maybe in an unusual way. Unusual for her. But hadn’t she fought with some blonde chick just mere weeks go? And had managed to knock that girl away for a moment? There was something that nagged in the back of her mind; something that warned her not to get herself into this trouble now, for this small piece of consciousness that was left remembered the consequences of said fight.

Yet Sabrina shoved it back, standing up and facing Claire. “If you want to bring it on, then do it right here and now,” she said, her voice challenging and, to her dismay, staggering a bit. She wasn’t so steady on her feet, too. She did register that it was late and she should sleep, but that didn’t matter. Not today, not anymore.

But something unexpected hindered her.

“Girls, stop it.” The barkeeper glared at both her and Claire. He was okay with them getting drunk to the brim and more, but not with fighting in his bar. His neighbours had enough of that and he tried to keep a relatively unsoiled image. His poor table was already split because of that weird woman with long hair.

“If you want to fight, then go and leave the area, I don’t want to have to do anything with you two anymore then.” Sabrina blinked. Had she already sunk that low that she was thrown out of a rough bar? She felt bad...really bad. Something was not right with her. Her head started to hurt.

Sitting down on a chair away from the bar, she held her head with both her hands. She knew without doubt that this was the beginning of a huge headache, one that would probably keep her company for at least one whole day. Just what had she done? She had let herself go, without any dignity limits, without caring about anything, much less her life, anymore. She had managed to show her strength by being the one who ended the relationship, but in doing so, she had weakened herself. Weakened herself so much that she was now sitting in a lonely bar in the dirtiest part of Indigo, drunk and ready to start a brawl.

Grabbing blindly for her coat, Sabrina stood up suddenly, running through the maze of chairs and tables with eyes blinded by unwanted tears. She had to get out of there and that soon. She hit her shin several times, yet forcing herself to bite away any sobs while she just kept on walking. It was almost a relief to breathe fresh air again, falling out of the artificial light and warmness into the darkness and coldness of the still young morning. But only almost. Her emotions were way too stirred up, her mind unstable and wavering, she collapsed onto the street walk just metres away from the bar, in a small, hidden alley, now shrouded in complete darkness because of the lack of street lamps and the moon hidden by clouds shimmering in a milky blue.

Feeling the tickle of tears on her cheeks, she knew she couldn’t just lie to herself anymore. It was useless. Her mind didn’t let itself be deceived anymore; the tears spoke a clearer language than the powerless words and formulas she had aggregated to save herself. She still loved him.

She still loved him.

And yet it had been her turn to end it all. Because she hadn’t wanted to be hurt anymore. Laughing weakly, Sabrina realized the irony. She was hurt either way. Either by the sheer knowledge that he didn’t truly love her or by the loneliness she felt. There was no way to get out of this.

In theory, everything sounded so easy. Or what did they say, there are more fish in the ocean? Too bad when you only want one fish and that one has already been caught. Or rather taken right out of your arms.

She sniffed, looking at her surroundings. She was lost. She didn’t know where to go to anymore. She didn’t know how to get to the hotel anymore. Of course, she could ask her way through the town, but knowing the figures living there, that wasn’t the safest of ways. She didn’t know if she had full control of her powers yet, so she couldn’t just rely on them in case of an emergency. Maybe she should just go back into the bar and spend the rest of the night there...

Or maybe she should stay shrouded in darkness.

~~~~~~~

Janine was frustrated. She had been running through the streets for more than half an hour by then and still hadn’t found her fellow gym leader. The young ninja had figured that Sabrina might have left the bar by now, but she hadn’t expected her to walk away so far. Yet that was what it looked like right then. Of course, that talk with her dad was an hour away and Koga had last seen the psychic two hours ago, so she might already be at the hotel.

Janine sighed and stopped, reaching for her mobile phone. She might as well just phone Will and ask him kindly to check the room for her.

The ninja hesitated a moment before touching the button to call up his number with a bit of sadness on her face. She had just phoned Will an hour ago to tell him the truth about everything. How an alliance of several frustrated and rejected girls had formed. How they had thought about separating him and Sabrina. How she had come up with the idea of ‘attacking’ him with her love and forcing Sabrina to see it. How Karen had agreed to this plan and switched places with her for the battle on purpose. How everything had just been a big farce, a big trick. How much it had hurt.

Shaking her head, Janine dialed in the number. Will had taken it surprisingly lightly, even apologizing to her for not recognizing her feelings earlier, yet again swearing that he loved Sabrina, and Sabrina only. Then it had been Janine’s turn to apologize, saying that she had not realized what the psychic gym leader meant to him and what harm she could cause with her reckless actions. Now she knew for sure. This area of Indigo was dangerous and for a woman like Sabrina, who had never been confronted with the lower part of civilization, was probably not able to defend herself right now...

“Yeah?” He didn’t sound sleepy at all, rather as if he had been through several bottles of beer himself. Yet Janine knew that was not the case, as he was just extremely worried and stressed ever since Koga had gone back to the league headquarters and told him about Sabrina’s situation.

“I couldn’t find her yet.” Janine bit her tongue, knowing that her own worry didn’t help Will at all. He didn’t answer. “I thought...maybe you could check her hotel room and see...” “Janine, where do you think I have been for the last hour?” The girl bit deeper into her tongue. “I also thought she would return...Janine...” he sighed deeply. “I have to talk to her once she comes back...or once you find her. Tell her I’m sorry. Tell her I want to speak to her personally. Please.” It would be an understatement to say he sounded sad. He sounded more than just simply sad.

“I will, I promise.” With that, Janine hung up.

~~~~~~~

Miles away, a single tear fell onto a red rose. ‘Please, be alright, my dear.’

~~~~~~~

Janine was just about to give up completely when she bumped into Claire. The dragon type gym leader wasn’t exactly sober herself anymore, even carrying a bottle of beer in each of her hands and drinking occasionally from each. Janine took a deep breath before she approached the older woman, not only because of her respect, but also because of the smell...

“Ahem...Claire...may I ask you a question?” Blinking, Claire tried to understand the words. It took her a moment- and another sip of beer, to answer.

“Sure.”

“Have you seen Sabrina?”

“Hm?” Claire blinked. Who was that again…? “Ah, you mean that psychic...sure. She was out with me and Lucian. Lucian’s still in the bar, he sure can take a lot. Ha, ha.”

Janine sighed. Why was it that all people were suddenly so embarrassing once they had a drink too much?

“And do you know where she is now?” the girl asked, desperately.

Claire grinned. “Sure.“ And pointed to the alley next to the bar.

Janine almost wanted to slap her forehead. She had been so close the whole time and had not realized it! “Thanks!” And with that, she spun around the corner, leaving Claire as fast as possible.

Claire nodded. “No problem, whoever you were…“

~~~~~~~

Just a few rooms away from Will, a young woman was staring out of her window. She wasn’t waiting for anything, even though one could expect her waiting for a sign, any special sign, the way she kept staring at the empty street.

In reality, she only liked the night. It was calming her with its quietness and darkness. The night was when she really blossomed, when her beauty shining through all dimensions, when she appeared to be inhuman. At day, she was nothing more than a champion. Nothing more.

At night, she was a goddess.

She closed her eyes. Others adored the title of Pokemon’s league champion, would give everything to gain it and may even try to do so again and again. She had achieved it and yet, while she was happy about being a champion and would do anything to defend her position, it wasn’t her life goal. There were bigger things in life than that. Goals not based on material sources. She was going for the bigger fishes and she knew how to do so.

Glancing at the sleeping man on the bed, she managed a weak, yet wicked smile. Lance had the scandal he never wished for, and he was blissfully unaware of it. He never had a chance against her. Poor guy.
Pressing her lips together, the woman started to think about her true lover and what he had done. Poor guy. Without her, he was lost. But it was his own fault he had ended up alone. After everything he had done to her…

Shrugging, Cynthia went to her bedside table and reached for her mobile phone. Not her concern. She had to know how sweet Jenny was doing.

~~~~~~~

“Sabrina?” Janine asked carefully, glancing into the dark alley. Absolutely no light reached the small piece of sidewalk placed between two high houses, so all she could see were faint outlines of boxes and trash containers. She couldn’t really make out a human figure, though that didn’t mean anything. Everything was so dark.

Sabrina looked up. She had clearly heard someone calling her name, that she was at least sure of. Her ears weren’t affected by her thoughtless consume of alcohol, or at least she hoped so. Everything was in a blur, but that was most likely because of the tears she had cried and not bothered to dry. “Yeah?”

Janine felt a ton of bricks breaking down from her heart when she heard Sabrina’s weak voice. “Oh, my, god, are you alright?” Slowly, the ninja took a step into the shadows. She reminded herself that she was a creature of the night as well, yet her ninja powers were still...lame, to tell the truth. She was learning, though. She really tried to get as good as her father, but she had a long way to go, she knew that herself. After all, she had been stupid enough to cause this mess. “We were...kinda worried about you.” Embarrassed, Janine rubbed the back of her head. She did not know what to say, how to explain everything to Sabrina. Of course the psychic deserved an explanation, she certainly did, but it wasn’t easy to give one when you were directly involved.

“Worried about me?” Janine flinched. Sabrina’s voice didn’t sound as if she believed her at all… “Yeah, right...maybe you noticed my absence during your little dates...” She sighed. “I appreciate that you searched for me, Janine, but I don’t think it was necessary. You shouldn’t leave Will alone for so long...you two only have a few days...” Her sentence ended in a quiet sob. It hurt to say this, but she had to be at least that strong. Strong enough to show that she would get over this, that she could stand the thought of Will being together with another girl.

She wanted to break down.

And die.

“Sabrina....” Janine grinded her teeth, closing her eyes tightly. A few tears tried to escape her, but she fought them off. She couldn’t cry in front of Sabrina, what kind of expression would that give off?! “Sabrina...I want to be honest with you...brutally honest...” Janine sniffed.

Sabrina peeked up. Janine was crying? Something was not right….yet the psychic couldn’t find the strength to get up, she felt so weak.

“It was all a lie. Will was never in love with me. He was tricked...I tricked him...it was all a scheme by Claire, and I volunteered to carry it out...Sabrina, I’m so sorry....” Janine shook her head, the tears finally pouring and falling to the ground, moonlight shining in them. The clouds broke apart, revealing a nearly full moon, bathing the two girls in milky light.

Sabrina just stared at Janine, unable to say anything, her mouth and throat completely dry. She felt...she couldn’t describe what she felt right now. It was too much. Too many emotions at once. Her heart ached.

“I know we were never really friends...I never knew you truly, no one really did, to be honest...but I don’t want to be hated by you now. Please, don’t hate me, Sabrina. I was blind...I was stupid...and naive. I thought I could steal Will from you...please, don’t be angry at me, Sabrina.” Janine nearly cried. “I don’t know what true love is, I thought I did, but I don’t. I messed everything up. Please, I would do anything to make up for it...”

Sabrina rubbed her head. She had a headache, a really bad headache, and she was tired. She didn’t know how late- or rather, how early it was, but she knew she had to get some sleep. And to cure the hangover she was probably going to have.

“Janine...I can see that you’re upset, but I think this is not the right atmosphere for a long discussion.” She had to close her eyes for a moment, as the world was blurring and she knew she would feel sick if she opened her eyes anytime soon. “Could we please talk this out tomorrow? For now, I don’t think I’m in the condition to...to do so.” She took a deep breath. As unpleasant as it was, she had to admit now that she needed help... “Could you get me to the hotel? I doubt I can find the way on my own...”

Janine beamed with a weak smile, her cheeks shining.”Of course,” she smiled. “I’m not a ninja for nothing!”

~~~~~~~

The brown-haired man sighed. “You know, dude, you really had enough by now. It’s four in the morning!”

An angry snort. “I...I had not enough! I know! Another one!“ He hit the table with his fist, getting it cut on a lonely cap.

The barkeeper sighed. “Shouldn’t you go back to your girlfriend, that Sinnoh champ, Cynthia?”

The man whined. “She doesn’t care about me! She has bewitched that other champ, I tell you! In every sense of the word! You have to know! She is a witch!“

“Yeah, right…” The barkeeper rolled his eyes.

Lucian growled. “You don’t know. She can make you do everything she wants...she is that evil.” He glanced at the mirror at the opposite wall and noticed how similar it looked to the one Cynthia had in her bedroom. Snorting, he turned back to the barkeeper. “I was lucky not to fall under her spell...yet, she could put the whole of Kanto at her mercy with it, and that’s what she plans to do so, eh, I know it. She is hiding something from me and all of us!” he declared loudly, changing the octaves several times and glancing yet again at the mirror. Did his eyes lie to him or had Cynthia just appeared there and winked at him? Nah, he must be dreaming...

The barkeeper laughed, with his back to Lucian. “Yeah, right, dude, keep on joking...” He turned around to see the elite trainer lying unconscious on the floor.

~~~~~~~

“Here we are...” Janine kept her voice down, not only for the masses of people probably sleeping in the hotel right then, but also for Sabrina, whose headache had only worsened over the time of their walk back to the hotel. The woman at the reception desk had been anything but happy about the nightly adventure of those two, knowing that for their prominent guests, she had to be available 24/7. And that included 4 am on a Friday. Yet, when she had to value her sleep over the possibility of losing her job and a shuriken placed on her neck, she rather spend twenty minutes in an obnoxious half-dreamy, half-awake state, searching for the main door keys.

Sabrina blinked, the greyness of everything confusing her. The colours looked off, without any real strength, without any real substance, as if someone had taken a brush and decided to paint everything with water and ash. But that was not the only thing that felt...wrong. Something was there, something that seemed to block her powers. She glanced at the corridor at her left side, the endless row of doors kind of intimidating. A gateway to hell...

Shaking her head, Sabrina got those childish thoughts out of her mind. Of course her powers were weak, as she had literally damped them with all the alcohol she had consumed, and it would take some time for them to recover, just like her body had to recover. She had been thoughtless, very thoughtless. A shame that this had happened to the psychic that called herself the most disciplined...she had to make sure her pupils never got wind of her excess.

Yet, it was crystal clear that at least one of pupils knew about it. She let out a quiet sob. She missed him so much. After the tragedy of that afternoon, she only wanted to be embraced by him, feel his warmth-nothing more, absolutely nothing more. She was just too tired to argue with him, heck, to argue with anyone.

Janine bit her tongue. She knew she wasn’t supposed to notice that, but over a great deal of the walk, Sabrina had to be physically supported by the younger girl. Janine’s back ached a bit, but she didn’t mind. It was the price she had to pay for being quite childish. At least, she had managed to make up for it a bit. Silently, the girl opened the door, glancing over her shoulder. Sabrina had her eyes closed, not paying her any attention. Janine gulped. Her attendance was now over. She had said what had to be said, and it was up to Will and Sabrina to sort everything out. The young ninja hoped they would, could forgive each other. She didn’t want to be at fault for a continuous breakup.

“Yeah, well...I’ll leave you two alone now,” Janine whispered nervously, scratching the back of her head while trying to grin friendly. She wanted to get away as soon as possible, not only because of the influence she might have on a possible argument, but also because she was really, really tired...

Sabrina could only blink weakly as Janine disappeared into the shadows. Shaking her head, she reached for the door knob and pushed the door open. From her position, she couldn’t oversee the whole room, yet...she could see the red rose lying on her bed.

Sabrina blinked again, staring at the flower while still standing in the doorframe and not daring to move. Her mind was working slower than usual, but she was absolutely sure she knew about the origin of the rose. There could only be one person, only him...

She gulped and took a step into the room, her eyes fixed on her bed. She couldn’t actually believe it...he still cared about her. Of course, there were so many girls he had given roses to, but...this just felt special. Without asking, without reading any mind, she knew he still loved her.

Gracefully taking the rose into her hand and breathing in the fresh aroma of it, she closed her eyes, leaning back almost automatically. She was only startled for a second before relaxing when she felt someone embracing her from behind. “Sabrina...” He kissed her neck gently, still holding her in his arms. “I was so...I can’t say how worried I was about you...” She bent her neck to be able to look him into the eyes. He was honest; she could see and feel that, from the faint tears on his cheeks. She traced the line of tears with the rose, her eyes fixed on his.

“It’s alright now...” she smiled weakly. “I’m back...” She leaned against him. His warmth…it was back. It had finally come back to her. She felt so calm.

Will had been trembling when he had seen the door being opened. He had no idea how to start the conversation, as he had no idea how to approach her, for he had no idea how she would respond. Again, he was helpless. For all of his life, he had thought that women were easy to handle, and so far, he never had to deal with such a drama. But so far, he had never been truly in love.

He sighed, but tensed the very moment he noticed her slim figure walking into the room, towards the bed. He literally couldn’t breathe, not knowing how she would react to his rose. He hoped, he wished she got the message. He didn’t know how to form the right words, and not even what the right words were. Actually, it was the second time he felt so helpless, the first time being the day Janine had kissed him in front of Sabrina. Yet, he didn’t feel as if he had improved. He was still powerless.

Especially against the addiction he felt towards the other psychic.

Silently, he stood up and wrapped his arms around her, hoping that his embrace would tell her more than a thousand words.

“I’m back...” He smiled at her, wiping a single strand of hair out of her face, staring into her dark, lively eyes.

“And you’re drunk...” He had to smile. Seeing his sweet dear this blue was funny and yet cruel, knowing that she wasn’t used to alcohol at all and probably would have a hard time dealing with the hangover tomorrow.

“I know...” Sabrina whispered, holding her head with one hand. Will slowly let her sit down, his hands still on her shoulders. She obviously had a headache and he wanted to let her rest.

“I...” He was nervous and slowly sat down on the bed himself, his hands in his lap and his head hanging down. “I guess Janine told you everything...I...I want to apologize...I was too weak to reject Janine. I should have known how much it would hurt you. But I was too weak...” He inhaled deeply, fighting back his own sobs. He had missed her, had thought he might have lost her for good. But she was back... “Please accept my apology...please return to me...please, I....I still love you...” Will was startled when Sabrina leaned to him and silenced him with a soft kiss. Her breath still smelled a bit like wine, but he didn’t flinch. He didn’t mind. It didn’t matter.

She stopped and he could see her tears. “I accept it, Will. I still love you.” She let herself fell back onto the bed, her dark hair framing her pale face, the few lines of moonlight shining through the curtains barely reaching it, creating a fascinating game of shadows and lights on her face. Will gulped. She was beautiful...

Slowly, she reached out to touch his face, tracing it with her fingers. Will didn’t say anything, for there was nothing he could do but admire her beauty.

“Never leave me, please, Will...” She whispered. “Stay with me.”

“I will," he promised, bending forward and kissing her, before closing the door.

End of Chapter 5, Part 2
Can you spell *fanservice*, CPF? XD
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  #32    
Old April 23rd, 2009, 02:15 PM
Crazy Packers Fan
Gym Leader
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Oh boy, what a chapter. Let's see if I can count down my favorite parts...

10. Clair being the one who orchestrated the whole Will-Janine thing.

9. Koga telling Janine to fix the situation... a great father.

8. Lucian wanting to be Sabrina's boyfriend.

7. Lucian thinking he had a boyfriend in the past... hopefully he was just overdrunk.

6. Sabrina so drunk she couldn't remember her own city's name.

5. Lucian... oh, just poor Lucian, he doesn't get enough torture, does he?

4. Clair's absolutely craziness being drunk, she's the very reason why I stay away from alcohol.

3. Will and Sabrina getting back together... awww!

2. Cynthia wanting more than even Lance... and blaming things on Lucian. She's not a goddess, P*A, she's a queen, get that right!

1. Cynthia's wink to knock out Lucian.

Why would Cynthia be calling Jenny? That's the biggest question I have after this chapter. I never remember everything at once, so maybe I'll review more tomorrow.
  #33    
Old April 24th, 2009, 09:26 AM
Psychic*Absol's Avatar
Psychic*Absol
Psychic Student
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
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Age: 24
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Crazy Packers Fan View Post
10. Clair being the one who orchestrated the whole Will-Janine thing.
Question to hint make you think about things....do you think Claire will stop her sheme now?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Crazy Packers Fan View Post
9. Koga telling Janine to fix the situation... a great father.
^.^ I always think of him as the one who watches carefully over his daughters actions and intercepts when she's being too crazy, and generally being much more wiser than her. ^^

Quote:
Originally Posted by Crazy Packers Fan View Post
8. Lucian wanting to be Sabrina's boyfriend.
He was drunk...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Crazy Packers Fan View Post
7. Lucian thinking he had a boyfriend in the past... hopefully he was just overdrunk.
I repeat myself...he was drunk. He never had boyfriends. I just included this because I find the various Lucian x other males shippings funny. Do not hate them, just find them funny. Better Lucian than Will.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Crazy Packers Fan View Post
6. Sabrina so drunk she couldn't remember her own city's name.
Ah, yes, funny part to write, too. Had to include something that showed just how drunk she was.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Crazy Packers Fan View Post
5. Lucian... oh, just poor Lucian, he doesn't get enough torture, does he?
Nope. Torture in your fic, torture now in my fic...that poor guy keeps getting beaten by Cynthia. XD

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Originally Posted by Crazy Packers Fan View Post
4. Clair's absolutely craziness being drunk, she's the very reason why I stay away from alcohol.
Me too. Yet Claire...she seems like the good old drinker kind of girl.

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Originally Posted by Crazy Packers Fan View Post
3. Will and Sabrina getting back together... awww!
You better hope so! I wanted it to be as fluffy as possible!
Zammy died here, btw. Too much shipping for his poor heart. *ggg*

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Originally Posted by Crazy Packers Fan View Post
2. Cynthia wanting more than even Lance... and blaming things on Lucian. She's not a goddess, P*A, she's a queen, get that right!
Yes, she wants more than Lance 's power and yes, she blames things on Lucian.0=)
In your fic, she's a queen close to being goddess. In my fic, she's a goddess playing the queen. 0=)

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Originally Posted by Crazy Packers Fan View Post
1. Cynthia's wink to knock out Lucian.
To be honest, I included this at the very last second, but now I'm glad I did. It helped the plot along and apparently, you liked it as well. *g* Though, can we be sure it was Cynthia that knocked him out and not the alcohol?

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Originally Posted by Crazy Packers Fan View Post
Why would Cynthia be calling Jenny? That's the biggest question I have after this chapter. I never remember everything at once, so maybe I'll review more tomorrow.
First, Jenny= Hunter J, of course. And then...Hunter J still hasn't finished the order she has from Cynthia, so of course, the champion wants updates on it. ^^


BTW, for anyone else reading this...apparently, a mistake slipped my beta-reader's eyes. *g* Line in the fic: "This area of Indigo was dangerous and for a woman like Sabrina, who had never been confronted with the lower part of civilization, and who was probably not able to defend herself right now..." Bold words were missing and the 'for' was not supposed to be there. ^^;;;
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  #34    
Old April 25th, 2009, 06:44 PM
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So Hunter J's name is actually Jenny? I'm sure that it isn't canon, but you sure you couldn't have come up with a different "J" name for her? Now it makes me confused... and you know exactly what I'm looking forward to in your story. Cynthia, Cynthia and more Cynthia. Maybe a little bit of Lucian too. But mostly Cynthia.
  #35    
Old April 26th, 2009, 10:53 AM
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XD It isn't canon. I wanted to give her a ridicolous, embarrassing name to give her an excuse of using 'Hunter J' as an alias, yet, I wanted to keep the 'J'. And since I knew a blond, stereotypical dumb girl named Jennifer from my old school days, well, the idea of naming her Jennifer was born. =3 Cynthia calls her by her nickname for her because, well, she can. XD!
That, and it's funny how her nickname and the general name of the Officers in the Pokemon world are the same. =3

Yes, you will get more Cynthia. Ever doubted that? *g*
__________________
The Time goes by Here's my Key Philosophy And take your Time
So naturally A Freak like me To trust in me
While you'll receive Just needs And you'll find
~*~Infinity~*~
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  #36    
Old April 26th, 2009, 03:10 PM
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That's all I ask for, lots of fanservice and lots of Cynthia. I guess that would be a reason for using "J" as a nickname, though I've got a different reason for my J...
  #37    
Old April 27th, 2009, 06:31 PM
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I honestly can't believe I just read this, but I'm glad I did. Nice chapter! My nit-picky grammar stuff is mixed with my other comments today... so here we go.

First off, I love the chapter name. =)

Quote:
“I wish I could believe you, Will, yet what you’ve done speaks against you.”
Mixing up "will" and "but" again. You did it a couple of other times, but I gave up copying them all here. In general, there were fewer of these mix-ups than the last chapter.

Quote:
It wouldn’t help her anything to pity herself.
Pick either "her" or "anything." Using them both sounds awkward.

Quote:
Yet she couldn’t care less, as after all, she had to show the world how great she felt, how lucky she was, how good everything had turned out. She had the cutest boy in the whole of Indigo in her hands, and no one, absolutely no one, was ever going to take him away from her now. May her friends think now that she was egoistical, keeping Will all for herself, when the original plan had only been getting his mind off Sabrina, and then starting yet another competition for his heart, but who cared? Not her, not her.
Yet she couldn’t care less; she had to show the world how great she felt, how lucky she was, how good everything had turned out. She had the cutest boy in the whole of Indigo in her hands, and no one, absolutely no one, was ever going to take him away from her now. Her friends might think now that she was egoistical, keeping Will all for herself, when the original plan had only been getting his mind off Sabrina, and then starting yet another competition for his heart, but who cared? Not her, not her.

Changes bolded. That second last sentance is also a run-on. I would break it up somewhere.

Quote:
What I can’t forgive, though, is that you deliberately broke up a young, until now very happy couple
Yeah, Koga!!!

Quote:
But it was a friendly laugh, not meant to make his daughter feel ashamed, even though it was debatable if she didn’t deserve that.
1. Delete the "But." It's usually not good to start sentances with words like "but" "and" "or", though there are a few exceptions...

2. "meant to make his daughter feel ashamed, though it was debatable whether or not she deserved that" I would change it to something like this to make it less awkward sounding.


Sabrina is an awesome drunk, lol!!!

Quote:
His poor table was already split because of that weird woman with long hair.
Was Cynthia here?!?! Who else has long hair?

Oh, Sabrina does...

Well, you got me excited for a moment...

Cynthia winking. Wow. I agree; I think that was the best part.

Overall, great chapter! I almost cried when Sabrina got back with Will; it was so cute. Now I have to go do work I've been procrastinating... bleh....
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  #38    
Old April 28th, 2009, 05:26 AM
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Quote:
Mixing up "will" and "but" again. You did it a couple of other times, but I gave up copying them all here. In general, there were fewer of these mix-ups than the last chapter.
Actually, she means Will the character, which is why "Will" is capitalized. So probably all those times you saw were where she meant the character.
  #39    
Old April 28th, 2009, 10:26 AM
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Originally Posted by delongbi View Post
First off, I love the chapter name. =)
Heheh, one of my more fitting ones. But don't worry, there will be more of them.
After all, there is an obvious pattern behind my chapter naming *shot*.

Quote:
Originally Posted by delongbi View Post
Mixing up "will" and "but" again. You did it a couple of other times, but I gave up copying them all here. In general, there were fewer of these mix-ups than the last chapter.
It's like CPF said (thanks for the back-up, btw ^.~), it's the name "Will", not the verb. ^^

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Originally Posted by delongbi View Post
Yet she couldn’t care less; she had to show the world how great she felt, how lucky she was, how good everything had turned out. She had the cutest boy in the whole of Indigo in her hands, and no one, absolutely no one, was ever going to take him away from her now. Her friends might think now that she was egoistical, keeping Will all for herself, when the original plan had only been getting his mind off Sabrina, and then starting yet another competition for his heart, but who cared? Not her, not her.

Changes bolded. That second last sentance is also a run-on. I would break it up somewhere.
*mumbles something about Sabrina not having any friends* Meh, I like long sentences too much. Short ones sound so...unprofessional and child-like. XD!

Quote:
Originally Posted by delongbi View Post
Yeah, Koga!!!
=3 I see, he's liked by the readers. *makes note to mention him again somewhere*

Quote:
Originally Posted by delongbi View Post
Sabrina is an awesome drunk, lol!!!
And the other (two) aren't? XD

Quote:
Originally Posted by delongbi View Post
Was Cynthia here?!?! Who else has long hair?

Oh, Sabrina does...
Well, Cynthia was there, just not in a physical way.

Quote:
Originally Posted by delongbi View Post
Cynthia winking. Wow. I agree; I think that was the best part.
^^ Thanks for liking it. She has interesting powers, hasn't she? *winks at CPF*

Quote:
Originally Posted by delongbi View Post
Overall, great chapter! I almost cried when Sabrina got back with Will; it was so cute. Now I have to go do work I've been procrastinating... bleh....
Awww...thanks again for liking this scene! ^^ I loved writing it, literally. Love songs while writing= great help. =3
Good luck on your work. =3
__________________
The Time goes by Here's my Key Philosophy And take your Time
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While you'll receive Just needs And you'll find
~*~Infinity~*~
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  #40    
Old April 28th, 2009, 03:55 PM
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Ohhh! Wow, the Will thing explains a lot. XD
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  #41    
Old May 26th, 2009, 09:32 AM
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*hides from angry readers* >.< Not my fault! I had this chapter ready weeks ago, but again, beta-reading took a bit longer than expected...*cough*
Anyway, next chapter. 0=)
@Beta-Reader: Next time you try to insert yourself into the story without my permission, do it a bit more subtle. XD!

6. Chapter, Part 1: Soberness

The first thing she became aware of was the melodic twitter of a bird directly in front of her room’s balcony, enjoying the fresh spring air. Even before opening her eyes, she saw the scenery in her mind: the little Pidgey bending its head to peer into the unexposed room, jumping on the balcony’s grille back and forth, not brave enough to fly inside. She could feel the slight breeze on her bare legs, indicating that someone had opened the windows while she had been sleeping. The scents of several different flowers were in the air, an amazing cocktail of nature’s gracefulness.

Finally, the psychic opened her eyes, sighing as she did so. The ceiling of her room was a mixture of shadows bathing it into a crème-like brown colour, with other patches shining in a bright white, being touched by the rays of sunlight shining through the windows. The curtains rustled.

Carefully, Sabrina tried to sit up, but a blurry pain in the back of her mind stopped her. Letting out a soft groan, she fell back again, touching her forehead. She had no fever, thankfully, but her head ached. A lot. ‘Great, just great.’

After a short moment of steadying her senses, she opened her eyes again, scanning her room. The door to the balcony was in fact opened. The Pidgey had flown away, probably scared by her movements. And on her right side...Sabrina smiled widely. Will was sleeping in the swivel chair in front of the desk, yet he had turned it around to face her. The whole night. He was so...sweet.

She kept staring at him, giggling when she heard his snore. A quick glance at the clock told her that it was already 10 am. She was surprised that she was already awake again after only six hours of sleep, but she had never been a late-riser. Will, on the other hand....

Sabrina closed her eyes as she slowly stood up, careful not to wake him up and not to strain her aching head too much. He had all the right to sleep as long as wanted, as after all, all the worry he had been through yesterday had probably stressed his nerves just as much as hers were after the drinks.

Looking around, the gym leader was startled for a second when she noticed that she wasn’t wearing the same clothes as the last evening anymore, yet relaxed just as quickly when she realized that it was only her blazer that was missing. And her shoes, of course. Sabrina had to giggle again. It was...surprising, almost unbelievable that she didn’t mind a man undressing her, or that she didn’t strangle him to death for committing that crime. Yet with Will, everything was different. Quite different. There was an intimacy between them that could almost not be real anymore. They had only been together for about a month, and yet it was as if they had known each other for a lifetime. Well, not counting little drama concerning Janine...

Another stab of sharp pain going through her head made her fall back onto the bed again, waking Will up. He looked around, confused as to why he was not in his room, and more important, not in a bed, yet when his memory kicked in and he recognised the young woman sitting in the opposite side of the room, he smiled. “Good morning, dear,” he yawned, stretching his aching neck.

Sabrina laughed, as seeing him so sleepy was sure funny. “Good morning to you too.” He grinned, walking over to her and embracing her carefully, kissing her. She pushed him away playfully after a moment, hiding her face with her arms. “My head hurts...”

Will sat down on the bed next to her, rubbing his neck. “Yeah, not only yours...my back feels as if someone tried to bend it while I was sleeping.”

Sabrina had her eyes closed, her arms crossed over her head. “Well, you shouldn’t have slept in the chair. That’s quite uncomfortable, you know.”

Will looked around the plain room. “I understand, but...where else?!”

An evil giggle. “Well, the bed is big enough for two, isn’t it?”

Both psychics sharply turned their heads to the door frame, where Karen was standing, leaning against the frame with one hand for stability, a leg crossed over the other. She was wearing an almost transparent silver negligee, and obviously nothing beneath it. Sabrina snorted inwardly. ‘That...sl...’ She shook her head. She should know Karen by now…

And yet, she couldn’t stop the blush that emanated from her cheeks, at the sheer thought of sleeping in the same bed as him. While it was true that during their trip through the Indigo Mountains, they had had to sleep very close together, it had never been that close. And while she felt so much for him, and loved him so much...that was just too far a step. One step she felt not ready to take yet. One day, maybe. She wasn’t sure when, but....she just didn’t know what would happen to her then. Would it change her? Would it change their relationship? Sabrina sighed, knowing that those were questions she never had to have to ask herself before. She had never before been so fascinated by a person of the opposite gender.

“Karen...” Will sighed helplessly. “Nice joke, but no thanks.” He crossed his arms over his head. “She wouldn’t let me anyway...” He winked at Sabrina, who sighed and blushed at the same time. Will turned again to Karen, throwing a sharp glance over her scandalous outfit. He knew that that was usual for Karen, having been forced to sleep in the same room as her for weeks now, so it wasn’t new for him and his eyes had gotten used to her skin, not paying it any attention anymore. “Why are you even here?”

The dark trainer rolled her eyes. “Am I not even allowed to worry about my colleagues anymore? You weren’t in your hotel room last night, so I wondered where you were hanging around...then I met Janine,” she glanced over her shoulder quickly. "And she told me the short version of last night’s soap opera, so I decided to check up on you two the next morning to make sure you haven’t been maiming each other’s bones.” She laughed at her own joke, yet Sabrina wondered if it was a speciality of dark trainers to find bloody jokes especially amusing.

“No, we haven’t been ripping our limbs off, but thanks for asking.” It wasn’t hard for Sabrina to sound angry, and her headache really helped.

Will shifted his gaze between the two women, noticing the tension. He had been okay with the dark trainer so far, but he was weak as a psychic, unlike Sabrina. That little fact could explain as to why he didn’t feel unwell around Karen, while Sabrina did. “I guess we missed the breakfast?” he asked quietly, to change the topic.

Karen shrugged. “The regular time for breakfast is over, yes, but you know the rule. Everyone who has talked to Lance personally has a VIP bonus, and can get breakfast at 10 PM if necessary.” Again, she glanced over her shoulder and smiled. “I guess I should be off now. You two seem okay, so my babysitter job is over.” Sabrina tensed. ‘Babysitter?!?’ “There’s someone who urgently wants to talk to you now...” she winked at the two psychics, then turned around and walked away quickly, the movements revealing more of her body than absolutely needed, considering that no man aside from Will was around, and if there was one person Karen would never seriously try to attract, it was her fellow elite member.

Both psychics braced themselves for anything then, for it could even be Lance now that wanted to interrogate them. Sabrina didn’t know everything about the league’s chef’s hidden publicity plans, but she was sure their short-timed breakup had bombed quite a few of them. But it wasn’t Lance.

~~~~~~~

Karen glanced at her right, frowning. The hallway was still shrouded in darkness, the lights not turned on yet. ‘Something is off here, way off...’ Closing her eyes and shrugging, the dark trainer went down the stairs, deciding not to pay it any more attention. ‘Would be too much of a coincidence if I were the only darkling here...’

~~~~~~~

“Uhm, hey....” Janine stepped into the room, wearing a pink sleeping jumpsuit with little red Bunearys all over, even with a hood with fluffy bunny ears attached to it. Sabrina blinked. That was...unusual clothing for a ninja, to say the last. She knew from her experiences with Koga’s sister that pink was popular with the female branch of the family, yet Janine made it a bit awkward. “I wanted to check up on you two, too...”

Will grinned. “Just like Karen, eh? Well, we haven’t murdered each other yet, and we were just about to decide if we should do it traditionally with knives or take poison, if you have any left.”

“Will!” Sabrina laughed so hard that her headache was starting to pound on her poor nerves, but that was just too funny. “If I want to kill you, I would do it with my powers. I have an honour to defend as the strongest psychic!” <Besides, poison doesn’t work with psychics, idiot! You should know that by now!>

“Okay, dear, I got it. I really did,” he winked again at her, standing up. “I’m going to get some breakfast for us.” Sabrina blinked.

“What do you mean, getting some for us?” She had a slight feeling she knew what he meant by that...but no one had ever...no one had ever done such a romantic favour for her.

He grinned, kissing her hair as he walked out of the door. “Well, I want to make up for yesterday, so I thought breakfast in bed would be just as good as an apology, right? Not to mention that I am a gentleman after all.”

‘Yeah, you are...’ Sabrina thought, smiling unconsciously as she watched him leaving. She froze just when he had reached the stairs and stretched her body to be able to look around the door and reach him with her voice. “Hey, how are you getting it back here, then? You can’t carry everything!” His laugh was quiet, but only because he was already walking down the stairs.

“Hey, I didn’t train my teleport for nothing!”

Sabrina sighed and leaned back, rubbing the side of her head. ‘Let’s hope he doesn’t overestimate his abilities. Sure, he can teleport by now, but....‘ She opened her eyes again, shaking her head. If he wanted to try, why not? His decision, anyway. And she couldn’t help but admit that it was incredible sweet from him. She was lucky to have him back...

“Ehm...” Janine had flopped down in the chair that had previously been occupied by Will, closing her eyes and yawning. Sabrina snickered again. The jumpsuit had furry gloves attached to it and Janine had just put one on unconsciously. ‘To think that she is related to Koga, one of the best and most dangerous ninjas...’

“Short night, eh?” the psychic asked, seeing Janine almost falling asleep on that not so comfortable chair. She didn’t want her to suffer the same fate as Will, for Sabrina was sure Janine also had her own hotel room and could easily return to that to get some more sleep. Janine had already apologized the previous night and Sabrina didn’t see the need for another unbridled talk. Of course she was sure she hadn’t been told all the details, for she was sure the head of that operation, Claire, hadn’t even told Janine everything, and for another, the young ninja was surely embarrassed by her own stupidity to tell her everything. Sabrina closed her eyes. She knew that her old rival Claire had directly planned this as an attack against her, against her psyche, but that she would go as far as using an innocent, naive girl. No, Janine was not completely at fault. She was simply too young, too inexperienced with the way the league worked.

Just as Will was.

“Yeah, very short night...I couldn’t sleep after...you know...” Janine smiled helplessly, her tiredness almost getting the better of her again. Her hair, only yesterday evening having been tied into a tight, short pony tail, was sticking out in all directions at that moment, as if someone had detonated fireworks there. It reminded the psychic of her own comedian, her Haunter. It still loved its bombs...

“Don’t worry, Janine, really...I’m not mad at you. Not at all.” She smiled.”We could become friends, you know? You seem nice, after all.”

Janine blinked, her sleepiness making her mind working much slower than usual. “Re-really?“ she squealed with delight. “That would be so grea-whaaaa!” Janine threw herself back into the chair when a bright, white light exploded in the middle of the room, startling her. Sabrina smiled knowingly. She knew how a teleport looked like. A beginner’s teleport, but a teleport nonetheless. He really was improving.

A thud made her sweatdrop. ‘Well, he’s still learning...’

“Ouch....” Will had landed on his stomach. Yet, with an artistic performance unbelievable enough to be admired by both Sabrina and Janine, he had managed to keep the tablet balanced on his left hand, neither letting it fall down nor spilling any of the drinks he had brought with him. Sabrina glanced over the tablet, noticing everything he had brought with him...’I should have told him...’

“Ehm...” Janine blinked. She was still trembling a bit, but she was calming herself more and more. She recognized the flash now as a teleport, however, all the teleports she had seen hadn’t ended with the person in question in such an awkward and uncomfortable position...

Sabrina smiled at her. “That’s probably because you have never seen an amateur teleport. It’s a difficult discipline. It doesn’t take that much time to learn Teleport in itself, yet perfecting it, specifically the direct direction and the position you end up...” she smiled, glancing over at Will, who tried to get up without covering himself in a mix of their breakfast’s ingredients. Smiling, with closed eyes, she used her powers to steady him and lower the tablet to her bedside.

“An amateur I am, huh?” Will huffed, brushing the dust of his clothes. “Well, see it that way, it was the first time I teleported myself and I didn’t get split into half!”

“Sweet, dear Will, otherwise, I would have to find your pieces all over the ether and puzzle them together.” Noticing Janine’s wide open eyes and her pale face, Sabrina laughed. “Yes, it’s true, if a psychic isn’t careful enough with a teleport, half of his body might end up in the location he wished to teleport to, the other might end up in his grandma’s kitchen garden. Or the supermarket’s till.” She smiled at Will, who seemed to be quite proud at himself. “You still have to get better, Will. Two centimetres off downwards and your chest would have merged with the carpet.” Will paled, not commenting anymore.

Janine stood up, stretching herself again, yawning. “Well, I better get going now.”

“Hey, I wouldn’t mind you staying here. You can eat breakfast with us!” Will nodded, still a bit shaken at the thought of being forever glued to a piece of wool. Before trying to pull anything like that off again, he really had to take a few more training lessons with Sabrina...

Janine shook her head. “I don’t want to stress you anymore with that headache of yours.”

Sabrina giggled weakly. “It’s not that bad. At least not anymore.” She threw a short glance at Will, smiling. <After all, I found the perfect cure for a hangover...> He returned it nervously.

Janine laughed. “Well, then you’re better off than Lucian anywhere. I heard he ended up in the hospital with alcoholic poisoning!”

Sabrina and Will stared at each other with a frightened glance. Their colleague had obviously overestimated his own endurance, reminding Sabrina painfully of the fact that she had been drunk herself...

Janine giggled, seeing the look on the two psychics’ faces. “Don’t worry, he will be alright. No, I have to go, dad probably wants to see me. I don’t want to make him wait any longer.” She winked at the two psychics and left the room. As soon as she was outside, Will turned to face Sabrina, who had started to pour some tea into a cup. He sighed and sat down next to her, his head resting on his hand.

“There’s just something that…kinda surprises me. I mean…“ He bit his tongue, making Sabrina wonder just why he was suddenly nervous. She could feel it, being so close to him. “You’re such a good psychic....strong...yet....you didn’t read my mind.” He glanced at her, looking almost offended. “If you had read it...if you had read my true emotions...none of this would have ever happened. What I mean is...” he paused again. “I love you. I loved you all the time. Never, never was there one moment where I seriously thought about giving you up and taking Janine as my girlfriend. I admit I was too weak to just reject Janine from the beginning, blame it on my gentleness, but I never loved her. Just why couldn’t you just have found that out earlier and save us all the mess? Why?” He stared at her eyes, hoping, expecting honesty, taking her left hand in his and squeezing it.

Sabrina sighed and smiled. Will was so...cute sometimes. Yet also so naive. “That’s easy to explain. I thought you would get it by yourself.” She giggled at the sight of his clueless expression. “Will, I don’t read the thoughts of those I trust. I read Janine’s mind just now because it was a trivial matter. But in general, I don’t read minds when I don’t absolutely need to. It’s an interference in privacy. I just don’t do that to people that mean so much to me. And especially not on delicate emotional matters like love.” The gym leader shook her mind. “Years ago, I would have done that without batting an eyelash, without caring about the consequences. But not anymore. I trust you, so I let you keep your thoughts for yourself.”

Will was stunned. She was wrong; he would have never found an explanation by himself. He had expected many reasons, many psychic reasons that were too complex for his mind to grasp, yet that she simply trusted him that much...it was amazing. He couldn’t believe it. He was surprised that she was that...loyal to him. It made him feel even worse for all he had done. “You trust me...oh, Sabrina…I...“ he sighed. “Thanks, I guess. I never thought....oh, well.” He smiled at her. “Guess I should watch every step of mine from now on, just to make sure I don’t hurt you ever again.” He smiled. “You’re worth it.”

Now it was Sabrina’s turn to be stunned. She didn’t fight her blush, knowing that it just made her cuter. Taking a deep breath, she decided to change the topic, to something she had been...curious about. Even if it was a bit embarrassing. “Ehm, back then, when I saw you and Janine...” Will blinked. “You two...ehm, was that a French-kiss?” she asked, unusally shy for the psychic gym leader.

“It was kind of.” Will grinned, leaning back on the bed. “I’m positive Janine never French-kissed before, as it was so awkward.”

“I see...” Sabrina bit her lip. She hoped he would have said something else, but for now, she didn’t know how to ask. She didn’t even know if it was worth asking, but then, they had unconsciously agreed on being honest with each other. Always.

“Could you teach me?” Will opened his eyes wide, staring at the ceiling. Had he heard her right!?! She wanted him to teach her how to...French-kiss? ‘Oh my god...’
“What?” he had to ask, just to make sure he had understood her.

Sabrina turned away, blushing. “Well, I just thought, it...ah, never mind.” She turned away. ‘One day, I will learn it...’

Will was facing her now, lying on his side. “I didn’t decline...I was just surprised...” He smiled. “But I would love to.”

Sabrina blinked when he leaned to her, gently stroking her cheeks. “Be careful, the tea’s ho-“ He silenced her with a kiss and the next moment, the tea was the last thing on the psychics’ minds.

~~~~~~~

Playing with the mobile phone between her long, slender fingers, the woman let the sunlight fall over her slightly wavy, blonde hair. Jenny still hadn’t found the Espeon. Cynthia closed her eyes in frustration. Of course, even for a professional hunter like her, it wasn’t an easy task, catching an Espeon that had spent the better half of its life in the wilderness, never been touched by humanity’s hand before. But she needed it; she needed it to finish her plan and get rid of Lucian. That idiot...he had ended up in the hospital with alcoholic poisoning. Officially. Unofficially...well, his fault. He had been gossiping a bit too much...poor guy. Confusion and alcohol didn’t mix well, he should know that.

She smiled, bumping her elbow into the ribs of the man sleeping not so peacefully next to her. Cynthia slowly sat up, glancing over him. He was having a nightmare. She sighed. It could be her fault, yet it could be coincidence, who knew? In the end, she didn’t give a damn. She was going to give up Lance as soon as she was out of this middle-age-like rubbish tip. She never got why Kanto’s people were laughing at Sinnoh, when they weren’t better at all. Of course, Sinnoh wasn’t trusted by anyone, being a freshly new league with a female champion, but once she was over with that, Sinnoh’s citizens would surely had something to laugh about...Indigo’s incompetence and a boss who rather slept with the champion instead of taking care of organization, and not even noticing when something went completely wrong. For her, nothing had gone wrong so far.

~~~~~~~

Sabrina was leant against her boyfriend, smiling and drinking the last sips of the tea. “Shouldn’t we get up now..?” Will asked, though he sounded anything but willing to fulfil the task hinted in his question. It was already noon, yet none of them felt ready to get up at all.

“Nah...” Sabrina was comfortable with everything staying the way it was right then. She could spend the whole day in that peaceful haze if nothing hindered her. And aside from Will, there was actually nothing keeping her from staying in bed all day. Grinning, she thought that maybe she even deserved this slip into laziness. She could always excuse herself with her headache, even though it had nearly disappeared by then.

“Aw, come on....” Will sat up, letting Sabrina fall back onto the sheets. She growled. “I’m not tired anymore.” She continued to growl. “And you know what?” He smiled at her. “I’ve got some plans for today...”

“What plans?” Sabrina wasn’t sure she even wanted to know what Will wanted to do.

“Well, for once, I decided to visit our dear colleague in the hospital.” He grinned. “You know, Lucian. I wanna see how he’s doing...”

Sabrina raised an eyebrow. “And make fun of him?”

“Never, of course not.” Will smiled at her innocently, but if there was one thing she was absolutely sure of, it was that he was a notoriously bad liar. “And after that...well, I...ehm...” He was suddenly nervous again. “I thought we could go out for lunch together...I mean, I got my first cheque just days ago, so for once, I don’t need to be cheap, and I could invite you...”

Sabrina giggled. How sweet of him. “Of course,” she nodded at him. “So, let’s meet again in two hours, okay? I will catch some more sleep and you have fun torturing Lucian, right?”

~~~~~~~

Will had never liked the smell of hospitals. It reminded him of the dreadful day just a month ago, when he had rushed to Indigo’s Main Pokecenter, with Sabrina lying in his arms, already unconscious and just seconds away from death....when he had burst into the building and Nurse Joy had taken his dear from him, injecting that weird antidote into her almost brutally, but since every second had counted back then, it had been necessary. And then the weeks Sabrina had been comatose, and he came to the hospital every day, every day the same atmosphere and same smell and he couldn’t do anything to wake her up; he could just wait and hope...

Will shook his head. He had to remind himself that that had been long ago, and that Sabrina was okay now and he was there to visit a guy he couldn’t really care less about. Yet, maybe it was his manners that told him to come there, even though everything else in him refused to set one step into the bright, white, sterile object. He took a deep breath and opened the milky blue door to Lucian’s room, bracing himself. He was really not there to make fun of Lucian, as in fact, he didn’t even know why he was there, so he blamed it on his gentlemanlyness.

Lucian looked the worse for wear. He was pale, his hair dull and not really wavy anymore, being rather flat by being laid on for some time. He wasn’t wearing his usual red suit anymore, of course; just a plain white hospital gown, which looked quite...embarrassing, to be honest. Now Will was happy that he hadn’t decided to bring Sabrina to the hospital too as after yesterday’s excess, she would have murdered him had he seen her wearing this. Or, maybe not. She seemed not to have minded him undressing her at all. “Good morning...or should I say, good afternoon?” Lucian looked sharply at him and if looks could kill, Will would then be two floors downwards in the morgue.

“To hell with the morning...,” he growled. “I would have rather stayed asleep.” He pointed to a small tube that was attached to his left wrist. “Thank god they know how to treat you right. With that glucose infusion, the hangover stays away.”

“Great...” Will couldn’t hide his disappointment. So Lucian didn’t have to deal with headaches, but his beloved had. It was unfair. “I didn’t really get what was going on yesterday anyway...care to tell me?” he asked with sly grin.

Lucian raised an eyebrow. “Why should I tell you?”

Will bent his neck sheepishly. “Because I know Teleport now and could bring some reporters with me who would love to portray you with such an amazing wardrobe on?"

Lucian just kept staring at the fellow psychic trainer sardonically. “You can’t threaten me with that...” he whispered sharply. “I’m just as good of a psychic as you are, if not better.”

“Really?” Will laughed. “You’re the first one to tell me...”

Lucian closed his eyes. “Of course. Cynthia made sure that my abilities and hers were kept hidden from the public.”

Now Will was really getting interested in the conversation and he couldn’t wait to tell Sabrina, almost daring to use telepathy, but then, if Lucian was really psychic, he could intercept the message. And on the other hand, his own telepathy wasn’t that good that he could be sure if it reached Sabrina. “Cynthia is also psychic? That’s news to me...really.”

Lucian sighed. He looked almost...sad now. But why? “Yes, Cynthia’s psychic, and not even a bad one. I can’t judge how she would fare against your girlfriend, but one thing is certain: she can beat me easily. Of course, I am a weak psychic, having gotten my powers only because of my Pokemon, in contrast to Cynthia, who had hers since her birth.” Will couldn’t help but notice the similarities between them and Sabrina and him. It was almost the same... “That’s probably why she was able to attack me last night.”

“She attacked you?” Will blurted out, before looking around to make sure no one had heard him.

Lucian nodded. “She did. I suppose I was telling too much about our...plan.”

“Would you mind if I ask about that plan?”

The Sinnoh trainer glared at Will. “You know that I will get in trouble for that? Besides, there's not much that I know. Just that Cynthia wanted to cause some scandal here in Kanto and that she will use the post office affaire to help her. No more. She doesn’t tell me anything, you know...” The psychic trainer sighed. “She is always that reserved...”

“Yeah, I know...” Will rolled his eyes, thinking that if one of them had to be described with the word ‘reserved,' it was Lucian. Probably the reason why she dumped him and left with Lance. That guy really scarified himself for the league, and Claire, now that Will thought about it. Lance didn't get enough credit for all of his doings, actually, only being spit on when he brought up the topic of money.

“By the way, have they found your Espeon yet?” Will asked, hoping that the change of topic would make both of them feel easier.

Lucian just stared at him with a deep lack of understanding. “Espeon? What Es-“

Both psychics suddenly heard the door being opened and when Will caught glimpse of a black shoe, he decided that it was safer to teleport away, even risking being merged with random things. For all he knew, Lucian was the stronger psychic and Cynthia, being even stronger than Lucian, could be a real danger for him, after Lucian had told him about their plans.

Lucian shivered when the tall, slender woman walked into the room, her shoes causing a melodic clack on the floor. “Lucian, my sweetheart...” She smiled at him and it was all the more sinister. She touched his chin, kissing his cheek. The furry ends of her coat tickled his skin. “I know you want to get me back. But you have to play fair for that and stay quiet, understood? I will sort everything out.” She smiled at him and for once, for once, it was a real, compassionate smile. ‘Maybe Jenny is right...’ “I’m not mad at you, but you’ll have to wait for me to sort everything out.”

~~~~~~~

Will re-appeared just outside of the hotel room, coughing and leaning onto the white, spotless walls. Teleporting was a lot more energy-consuming than it looked like and it continued to amaze him how Sabrina had managed to teleport over twenty people in a physical state where not even walking was possible for her anymore. It told him a lot about her strength, yet he was nothing in comparison to her, and it was very likely that he was nothing in comparison to Lucian or Cynthia, either.

He had to stable himself for a moment, to catch his breath and stop the swirls in front of his eyes. Teleporting sure wasn’t as easy as it looked like for someone not able to wield psychic powers, and he still had to learn a lot. If he hadn’t suddenly felt that danger, that dark foreboding emerging, he wouldn’t have taken the risk. Sabrina was right: one moment of losing concentration might cause unpleasant consequences. And teleporting to the wrong direction was the smallest one of these.

Quietly, he opened the door to see if his dear was already awake. To his surprise, she was, already getting dressed. He just stood in the doorframe, helpless, mesmerized by her unearthly presence. He stared at her, not wanting to interrupt her, not wanting to make his presence known at all. He felt he was interfering with her privacy. Yet deep inside, he knew he wasn’t. They were so close, and if there was one thing both of them didn’t mind, it was the other watching.

Sabrina turned around, not surprised at all to see him. She had felt his presence minutes earlier, and let him stay in his dreamy haze while undressing. She didn’t mind, as he was too much of a gentleman to dare to touch her without her clear permission. “Are you ready?” she finally asked, acknowledging his presence at last. Will nodded.


End of Chapter 6, Part 1
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  #42    
Old May 26th, 2009, 11:55 AM
Crazy Packers Fan
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Lovely chapter. Lots of Will x Sabrina, very romantic. What was my favorite part? Well, of course, Cynthia's visit to Lucian in the hospital. Most of this part seemed to be a preparation for something bigger to come. The real action didn't occur here, it'll occur later. I can't wait to see it... but of course the fanservice in the meantime was pretty nice in its own right.
  #43    
Old May 26th, 2009, 09:40 PM
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delongbi
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Yay! A new chapter!

Quote:
It reminded him of the dreadful day just a month ago, when he had rushed to Indigo’s Main Pokecenter, with Sabrina lying in his arms, already unconscious and just seconds away from death....when he had burst into the building and Nurse Joy had taken his dear from him, injecting that weird antidote into her almost brutally, but since every second had counted back then, it had been necessary.
Yeah... I think that was a run on...

This chapter was mostly fluff, and I love fluff! Therefore, by transitive property, I loved the chapter!

And Cynthia's a psychic!?!? Did we know this before? Have I just been an unobservant reader? Ahh... the
Quote:
Well, Cynthia was there, just not in a physical way.
suddenly makes sense. Makes everything a step more complicated. She's a pretty complicated character to begin with...

Anyway, great chapter! Can't wait for the next!
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  #44    
Old May 27th, 2009, 12:03 PM
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Psychic*Absol
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Thanks at both of you for liking the chapter! ^^
@CPF You're quite right, this chapter was mostly there to explain some things, some background information that needed to be given before the real actions starts. Don't worry, the action will start...I know because I'm still at writing the final battle...(in chapter 7, btw)

@delongbi No, you were not an unobservant reader (rather the opposite, heh ^.~). Cynthia being psychic was hinted last chapter with the attack on Lucian and was revealed this chapter by Lucian. And, for credit, it was CPF's original idea which I took over for my fic. =3
__________________
The Time goes by Here's my Key Philosophy And take your Time
So naturally A Freak like me To trust in me
While you'll receive Just needs And you'll find
~*~Infinity~*~
Lyrics from:Guru Josh Project:Infinity 2008
  #45    
Old June 6th, 2009, 09:18 AM
Wyyrlokk
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Well, some hints about what might happen... poor Lucian, after drunk himself to coma, he will now be in trouble with Cynthia I guess. xD Anyway, she seemed to still love him, but I'm sure she's not honest. And surely something big will happen, the plan of Cynthia will come out even - or not - soon for sure.

Only that much PsychicShipping was hard to take. <<

Last edited by Wyyrlokk; June 6th, 2009 at 02:01 PM.
  #46    
Old July 6th, 2009, 11:19 AM
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Psychic*Absol
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*hides from readers* *hides especially from Wyyrlokk* XD No, I have not forgotten about the fic. *I* haven't. *cough*

6. Chapter, Part 2: Scandals& Sincerity

Just minutes later, the two psychics were sitting at a table just outside of a smaller restaurant, enjoying the fresh spring air. Sabrina relaxed, feeling much better now that she was outside with her headache being gone, and, most importantly of course, together with Will again. For now, she just wanted to forget what had happened before: the breakup, her near breakdown, her excess...she just wanted to spend as much time with him as possible and enjoy it, and that was what she did. Will, on the other hand, looked uneasy. This didn’t stay hidden from Sabrina.

She raised an eyebrow, watching her boyfriend carefully. She could both feel and see his discomfort, yet she did not know why. And just as she had promised mere hours before, she would never read his mind to find out. There was a more direct and honest way. “Will...what’s distressing you?” She took a sip of her tea. “I can see that you’re upset. I can feel it.”

Will closed his eyes. There were several reasons as to why he was upset, and many of them were connected to each other. It would be hard describing what was going on inside him. Yet there was especially one thing that confused him greatly. “Have you read the newspaper today?”

Sabrina silently took another sip, glancing at Will. “Of course not. Do you think I cared about the newspaper when I was drunk?” she smiled, actually not mad at Will, yet teasing him. “Besides, I had no chance to buy the newspaper yet. Maybe I could ask Misty to lend me hers...” She glanced at the man sitting opposite of her. “Why do you ask? Did they write nasty stuff about us again?” Sabrina grinned, rolling her eyes playfully. “Likely after yesterday...”

Will shook his head. “Not about us, dear. About Lance. Lance and, well, you know, Cynthia.” He bit his tongue. Should he tell her about Lucian’s revealing? How big were the chances that the Sinnoh trainer had told him the truth?

Sabrina glanced at the waiter, who didn’t seem to have noticed them at all yet. She was getting a bit impatient, but since they had nothing else to do that afternoon, she wouldn’t hurry. “Lance and Cynthia, I see. Well, it is quite the gossip, isn’t it? Lance was the designated husband for Claire-family issues, you know. The dragon trainers want to keep to themselves, what with all the honour and purity they have piled up.” Sabrina rolled her eyes, yet she couldn’t deny that psychics tried to exclude themselves from the rest of the world, too. Or maybe they were forced to. It wasn’t easy to tell. “And then he falls head over heels for Cynthia.” The psychic giggled. “Well, I can understand him; Cynthia is more beautiful than Claire, yet, that he would dump Claire that suddenly...” She shrugged.

Will nodded carefully. “That’s exactly what astonished me, too. It’s so...unexpected. Out of the blue. And completely untypical for Lance. He’s always trying to be the Mr. Clean of the league: no affaires, no bribing, no dark patches...nothing. And then, suddenly, he throws everything away for a woman?” Will shook his head. “That’s not Lance.” He paused, glancing at the ground uneasily. “Say, Sabrina....can psychics take control of someone’s personality?”

Sabrina looked up, oblivious of Will’s suspicion. “You mean taking control of one’s mind? Oh, yes, we’re able to. Yet...” She closed her eyes. Slowly, she became aware of his conclusions. “If you think that’s the case with Lance, I have to disappoint you, that’s just not possible. For once, Lance’s bodyguards always carry some dark Pokemon with them to intercept any psychic influence on the champion. And secondly...” She paused, as the waiter had finally decided to take notice of them and was taking the order now.

“Can you recommend the Italian soufflé?” Before the waiter could even come up with the beginning of a responce, Sabrina continued with a mocking smile. “Never mind, I’ll take it anyway, as long as it doesn’t include any meat.”

Will looked up. “You’re vegetarian? Never knew that...”

Sabrina again smiled at this. “I am. I could never eat something that was able to think....” She shuddered. “Call it a psychics’ issue, but I distaste meat greatly...”

Will grinned, thinking that this was not the only reason. “Too bad that a certain psychic Pokemon is liked widely as the main dish, eh?”

Sabrina glared at him. “I would rather starve than eat a Grumpig, you’re right. And don’t even dare to order it now because of me, because I will leave immediately if you do so!”

Will shrugged, itching to order the beef burger now to make fun of her, yet it in the end, he did not. He didn’t want to lose her ever again, and especially not over a minor thing like that. He loved her too much. Not so much that he would actually start being a vegetarian himself then, as he had starved too often in his life to not enjoy the advantages of having a steady and well-paid job.

Sabrina sighed again, leaning back after the waiter had left. She was a bit uneasy; she had never been invited by someone before and the prices were steep, after all. Will noticed this and had the right assumption. “Don’t worry, my dear, I will pay and I do have enough money to pay.” He laughed as he leaned back, crossing his arms over his head. “Actually, I have more money now than in my whole life before!”

Sabrina raised an eyebrow. Something about this did not sound right to her. “But doesn’t the main part of the elite’s salary come from the money won by battling trainers? I’m not sure, but that’s what I heard from former elites...and you haven’t had a usual battle yet at all...”

Will winked at the other psychic. “So what? It’s still more than ever before...” He stared at the sky, content and calm.”I’m rich....I still can’t believe it...I got rich...”

Sabrina rolled her eyes. “Well, where did I end....ah, Lance.” She smiled at Will. “Secondly...psychics can control minds, but I’m fairly sure Lance isn’t mind controlled. The way mind control works doesn’t correspond with the way Lance acts right now. To keep full control of a person, said psychic has to stay around the victim 24/7, and that is at least in seeing range. No one here could do that without getting unwilled attention, right?” Will nodded, and yet he was sure there was someone who could...someone he strongly suspected to be an unfair player then. “Not to mention that Lance...well, aside from this affaire now, does he act out of character?” She slowly took a sip of the tea. “Did he suddenly decide to donate all his money for charity? Give everyone free health care? Modernize the Pokecenters? No.” She answered for him, smiling. Will was doubtful, though. “The thing is, a person who is being mind-controlled acts completely out of character, because the psychic controlling him influences all actions, all thoughts, all decisions. There is nothing left of the original person. It’s just a body with the face of the original; a shell, nothing more. Its personality left. You can’t just mind control certain parts of a psyche, it’s all or nothing. And no one can copy the victim so much that the change is not noticeable. I’m certain that Lance is not being mind controlled. I would have noticed if there was a psychic strong enough to do that around here.” She smiled at Will, hoping to have crushed his fears. Yet he had crossed his fingers and stared at the table.

‘A psychic strong enough...’ He was frightened.

Sabrina turned her head to the side, still watching Will. She could feel his continued distress and wondered what it was about. “Will...” she whispered, glad that they had chosen a lone and exclusive restaurant for going out, one where the chances of a reporter suddenly popping up were slim.

He looked up and the seriousness in his eyes scared her. “Sabrina, is there a psychic stronger than you?”

She laughed, she laughed so hard he thought she wouldn’t stop for quite some time. Her grin was almost wicked, malevolent, as if she dared anyone, especially her pupil Will, to question her status; the brave challengers expecting nothing more than a dreadful defeat. “No, Will.” The darkness in her voice scared him deeply, scared him so much that he simply wanted to teleport away again. This was really his girlfriend?! “There is no known psychic stronger than me...there were some in the past, hundreds of years ago...but not in the present.”

Will, still frightened by Sabrina’s pure presence, couldn’t help but remember what Lucian had said. The public did not know about his and Cynthia’s abilities. So, no one had judged them. Yet.

Sabrina had closed her eyes, pausing until the waiter had arrived with their lunch, giving her the chance to lower the intimidating atmosphere she had created. On purpose. If there was one thing Sabrina loathed, it was anyone questioning her powers. She had spent way too much time training them not to be rewarded with the title of the strongest psychic. Her ego would not allow anyone to be above her.

Will only regained his composure after a while, with the waiter bringing the food being the main cause, relieving the mood. “Then...” His voice staggered. He could just not get the images out of his mind, the images of what Sabrina was capable of doing. He knew he, he of all people, shouldn’t be afraid of her, but that was anything but easy. “Is there any other way of controlling minds?”

Sabrina was quiet for a while, but Will knew without doubt that she had heard his question. She was just teasing him. And she loved doing that. “Yes, there are. Channelers can, but I don’t know enough about their ways to explain it properly. It’s...kind of using voodoo, if you know what I mean. Yet then, it’s not a real mind control, rather a body control. And then...” Sabrina looked up, thinking hard. “Then there’s mind tainting.”

“Mind what...?” Will wasn’t sure he had gotten the word right, and he was just as sure that the explanation behind would be just as confusing to him. Not growing up as a psychic was a disadvantage. Yet when he thought about how he had grown up...he laughed inwardly. No way anyone in his family would have ever thought about him turning out to be psychic.


“Mind tainting. It’s what people with dark powers do. It’s even more complicated than mind controlling or voodoo. Basically, you take a piece of someone’s personality, let’s say, a certain phobia, or a certain talent, and you manipulate it. Turn it into the complete opposite, lower it, or do whatever you want with it. Yet its radius is also limited. You can’t expend a person’s physical potentials to infinity; neither can you stop a person’s will to breathe.” She laughed. “Yet, I think the legal possibilities are scary enough. Of course, not that it’s truly legal...but darklings do it nevertheless.” She smiled helplessly. She knew what darklings did...she knew that oh so well. “I know what you’re thinking. Someone could have manipulated Lance’s mind and made him fall in love with Cynthia.” Will looked up. She was right, that had been exactly what he had been thinking about... “Yet, that is not possible either. Lance’s mind could have been very well manipulated, yet just because of that, he wouldn’t dump Claire all of a sudden. Thing is, mind tainting only manipulates the mind. Not the actions. Meaning that you could be forced to think that you’re a Geodude and you try to prove that by banging your head against the table and then you’re surprised that it doesn’t break and your head hurts.” Sabrina smiled darkly at him. “Not to mention that most mind taintings are very, very feeble. We psychics don’t mess with emotions, memories, and the like for a good reason. It’s just too dangerous. You can destroy more than you think. We even have a rule not to influence others by a greater deal, though I have to admit that we never really defined what ‘a greater deal’ means. Generally, I guess, it’s that we don’t damage people’s personalities with our powers. Surprisingly, that’s something even I followed during my dark days.”

Will stopped her. So far, he had listened silently, but now, it was just getting a bit too much for his mind to grasp. “Give it a break, Sabrina, and just tell me why Lance cannot be mind painted!”

Sabrina sighed. “Tainted, Will, tainted. And I was just about to explain...mind taintings are fragile. They break the very moment you are confronted with ‘reality’, with the real happenings, your real body, and your real emotions. Will, the very second Lance sees anything that indicates a relationship between him and Claire, he forgets everything about Cynthia. That’s not the way it was planned, right? The only way I could see such a manipulation working would be if said person was both psychic and dark. Than it could control Lance’s body with its psychic powers and keep him from seeing Claire or any hint that they were together, and influence his love life via mind tainting. That could work.”

Will looked up. “That could work?”

Sabrina nodded. “In theory. But not in reality. There are no dark psychics.”

~~~~~~~

In the dinner room of the league, several of the big, dark brown wooden tables had been pushed together to create one big table. Covered with one equally big white sheet, it looked as if someone had been preparing for an important meeting. And while it was no official meeting, the one in question was important for all participants.

Sitting in the middle seat at the longer side of the table, Claire, the initiator of the secret convention, clearly claimed the role of the leader for herself and only herself. Even with rings whose diameter rivalled that of a medicine ball under her eyes, a melting ice bag on her head and her third cup of coffee standing in front of her.

Around her, five other girls were sitting, chatting angrily. There was only one general topic of interest right now: The sheer unbelievable mass of recent breakups. And the unpleasant consequences.

While the breakup of Sabrina and Will had caused some joyful celebrating there, it was only short-lived, as they became reconciled the very next night. All in all, the breakup had lasted for twelve hours, if at all. And the only one profiting from it had been Janine. The traitor. Who hadn’t dared to show up. Of course, it was only good for her own health, as she wouldn’t have been treated nicely here now anymore.

Claire moaned, every sound way too loud for her sensitive ears, and the colours too bright for her more sensitive eyes. If it hadn’t been for the urgency of it all, and the need for a fast decision, she wouldn’t have got out of bed yet, rather continuing to cure her hangover. But hell, it had been worth it. What did Lance dare to, to just forget her after years of being together, to throw away all her belongings, smash their photos, all their memories of being together. It hurt.

Finally, all the girls had sat down, now looking at Claire with mixed hopes. Would their little alliance even continue to survive now that their leader obviously had other priorities on her mind? Would they manage to survive without Claire, when it had been her idea and her initiality? And after seeing how fruitless their first idea had ended...with them losing one member, losing the chance to fight again for their target’s love, and worse, probably even strengthening the bond between the witch and Will...

Claire stood up. She recognized the expectations resting on her and she stared ahead with strong eyes. “Girls...we may have lost the battle, but not the war. We need another plan.” A wave of enthusiastic crying and screaming hit her, making her smile and making her, for once, feel like her beloved Lance, the war leader.

“In war and in love, everything is allowed. And this, my dear followers, is both. So anybody got an idea?”

Karen, so far being certainly one of the quietest around there, slowly stood up, silencing the mass instantly. With her cold attitude, her daring outfits and her general presence, she scared many. “They say opposites attract...maybe I should give it a try.” She smiled evilly. “After all....no one has infected little Will's mind with dirty things yet, right?”

A combined shudder went through the group, yet no one dared to differ, for all, all of them, feared Karen. Claire nodded. “Okay, give it a try, Karen.”

The dark trainer sat down again, smiling to herself. ‘These fools...they have never seen true love. Otherwise, they would pray to Cupid that he forgives them for their sin of interfering with his ways....’

~~~~~~~

Will looked up, his glass of water waving around. “You say that’s not possible? Why?” He paused. “I admit I don’t know much about the genetics behind psychic powers, but apparently, they can be both inherited from relatives or one can become accustomed to them after being close to psychic Pokemon for a long time. Now, I don’t see why someone couldn’t get dark powers when he’s already a psychic!”

Sabrina paused and, in Will’s opinion, she took a very long time to answer. “You’re right about the two ways of getting psychic powers. You can inherit them- like I did, and your Pokemon can carry over some of them to you. Former method is the more accepted and idolized version, as these psychics generally get stronger, may it be by longer training time or other reasons we haven’t found out about yet. Though, it is also verified that for a child, it doesn’t matter whether its parents got their powers through the genes or through closeness to their Pokemon. Said child still has a greater potential than a child with only one psychic parent, and the same chances as one with both parents being psychics by birth.” She eyed him. Will looked confused, not knowing why she was edging around that topic. The psychic gym leader sighed. She feared how the elders would react to her boyfriend; she really feared they wouldn’t accept him, because he hadn’t been born as a psychic, but that was definitely something she did not have to discuss with him. Yet. Maybe later.

She coughed uneasily. “What I wanted to say is...there cannot be someone with both psychic and dark powers because they cancel each other out. Dark powers block psychic powers, yet the energy that is needed to block the psychic powers reduces the dark powers to zero as well. The conclusion is, said person has neither psychic nor dark powers.” She looked up, right into Will’s eyes. “There are no dark psychics, or psychic darklings, for that matter. These powers are incompatible.”

Will looked downwards. “If you...say so.” He trusted his girlfriend, as after all, she knew much more about supernatural abilities than him, yet the nagging feeling that she could not know everything stayed in the back of his mind. To relieve himself of his unwanted tension, he again shifted the topic to something he could at least comprehend better and probably contribute. “Say, what happened to the egg?”

Sabrina smiled. She had been wondering when he would bring that up... “The Eevee egg, you mean? Well, Nurse Joy takes care of it. It was barely alive when I brought it to her, yet she says the chances that it stays alive are high enough to risk intensive treatment. If everything goes well, it should hatch in a few days.”

“Eevee egg? It’s an Eevee egg?!?” Will couldn’t hide his astonishment. “Sabrina, do you know how rare these are?” She nodded. “Not to mention how expensive...” he added quietly, yet Sabrina still caught it and laughed.

“I know that, my dear. Yet I couldn’t just let the egg freeze to death when I found it, could I? Nevertheless, you’re right, it is rare and therefore, I’m sure someone is missing it in his or her mail right now.” She played with the forks a bit, letting them spin around the table and startling Will with it. “I had planned on contacting the post office as soon as possible and find out together with them who the egg belongs to. The egg has to be given to its true owner before it hatches.” She noticed his frown. “Don’t worry, I won’t keep it. Sure I would like to, Eevee are rare and cute...”

“And evolve into Espeon...” Will whispered, apparently absent-minded, yet with a sly grin.

Sabrina laughed. “Yes, and that. But still, it’s not my Pokemon and someone out there surely is waiting for it, so I’ll do anything to find that person and give him, or her, the egg back. Unlike Hunter J, I’m not a thief.” She closed her eyes. “That’s actually what I plan on doing for the rest of the day. It should be pretty easy, considering that I got the registration number of the egg and the post office keeps track of all oversea shipping and, by giving me the passwords, allowed me to get into their data base.”

“No mind manipulation there?” Will asked, honestly confused as to why the post office would trust a, well, not a complete stranger, but someone completely out of the background, with such delicate information.

“No, not at all. I guess they didn’t want to have to search through all the data themselves and were happy that someone volunteered to do it without payment.”

Will looked away, slightly distressed. ‘Without payment...’ He said, wondering if his past ever stop haunting him?

~~~~~~~

An hour later, Sabrina was sitting in the huge, yet as good as empty multipurpose foyer of the league, which was kept in the same semi-modern style in blue, silver and white as the rest of the complex. She would have rather done the task on her own laptop, but that had been one condition of the post office’s head: no copying of the files onto a private computer. Yet she wondered if a public one was that much safer...

“Phew...I correct myself, this is going to take some time...” ‘The whole afternoon, if worse comes to worse...’ She thought angrily, staring at the columns of numbers and dates and names. The only clue she had was the Eevee’s registration number, but not even the date of its arrival, which would have made the search for its rightful owner a bit easier.

Sighing, she decided to use the search engine instead of going by simple luck. ‘Let’s see...where is that stupid note again?’ She rummaged through the folder she had taken with her, finally finding the small, blue piece of square paper with the number written on in narrow black.’896 986, well, let’s see if that gets me any farther...’

After a moment of waiting and the computer’s searching, a long column of items showed up, longer than the whole screen. Sabrina rolled her eyes. Just as she had feared, but not expected. The owner of the Eevee had almost registered and shipped over a whole household. She could see various bags with clothes on the list, both for men and women, and things of everyday life: towels, toothbrush, books, make-up...it seemed as if someone had decided to spend his holiday in Kanto and wanted to take his soon hatching egg with him. Yet, the only thing missing on the list was the egg. There were several Pokemon shipped over under the number; too, as Sabrina could see the coding for an Espeon, a Girafarig, and a Lucario. Yet there was no trace that the egg had been under them, even thought it would make sense with a male? - Espeon being one of the shipped Pokemon.

Sabrina rubbed her forehead, confused and slightly irritated. She was just about to close the page and call the post office again to see if they had given her the right number when she noticed something weird. Very weird. The present Will and she had given to Lucian and Cynthia was listed here, too. Yet that was just not possible. The present had been registered under a number of the Pokemon league and those numbers were given exclusive for each item, so there were just not several listed under one number like it was the case there.

‘I don’t get it...why is it here?’ Sabrina shuddered when a breeze of cold wind swept through the room. “Who the heck left the windows open?” She snarled at no one in particular, just trying to take out her anger at humanity in general. But since no one really bothered to spend any attention to the psychic, or rather, no one dared to take the responsibility and the risk of being punished by her, she had to close the windows by herself. Not really easy, when you were just a bit over 5 ft 3 in tall...

Sighing, Sabrina looked out of the windows, gazing over the beautiful landscape. She wished she could have spent a few more hours with Will, yet she had to find the owner of the Eevee, there was no way around it. Slightly saddened, she returned to her seat, just to realize that the note was not there anymore.

“Oh great!” It just got more and more frustrating. There was no way she could remember the number, and she needed the note to inform the post office operator about his mistake and probably correct it. Thankfully, the little piece of paper had only been blown away from the table. “Hah, got ya!” She exclaimed, reaching for it and standing up, throwing one glance over it and then over the computer’s screen. “Huh...?” Now this was even more weird. She was sure she hadn’t made a mistake when typing in the number, yet now, the note showed a completly different number than the search engine’s box. Confused, Sabrina fiddled with the note in her fingers until the realization almost hit her...

“Oh, no, please don’t tell...” She let herself fall back onto the seat, massaging her strained temples. “896 986 is 986 968...just upside down! Argh!” She hit her forehead with her palm and her fingers almost tripped over each other as she searched for the new number. And viola, there, the egg was, registered with a date, a number and a description. What else could she wish for?

‘No...not this.’ The owner actually having a genuine name. The only things written in the box labelled ‘Person of responsibility’ were a few letters. ‘I.L., c/o L. Grey’. Yet Sabrina, being a member of the league for many years now, knew what that meant. The egg was property of someone no less than Lance Grey, their state’s head.

And now, dread washed over Sabrina, because she had come to yet another conclusion.

She closed the second window, opening the one with the wrong number again and scanned the other coding. More and more familiar Pokemon names came to her mind, Pokemon like Garchomp and Bronzong. And when she clicked on the date when these Pokemon had arrived and, at the same time, compared it to the date the egg had arrived, her theory was, unfortunately, confirmed.

Finally, she leant back, supporting her aching head with her hand. “Oh, goodness....I hope Lance doesn’t murder me the second he finds out...”

Opening her eyes again, she tried to puzzle together all the pieces without panicking too much. She and Will had messed up. Greatly. The statue was not the real present; it had all been a mistake. Just because of the stupid similarity of those two numbers. The package with the model had been upside down, so that its real number, 896 986, had appeared to be the number of the egg, 986 968. And they hadn’t checked the package’s shipping’s formulas once they were out of the post office with it, so they had never noticed the slip-up.

And the real present, the egg, had arrived just a day too late. Of course, now Lance’s explanation, that the first present was not ‘available’ anymore, made sense. Just like the egg, the first one was very likely to be close to hatching when it had been supposed to be given to Lucian and Cynthia, but due to Team Rocket’s interference, the meeting had to be cancelled. And the egg had hatched in between, so Lance had to get a new one. One that was now in the possession of Indigo League’s Nurse Joy.

Sabrina rubbed her eyes, taking a deep breath to calm herself. There was still some way to save the situation, there had to be some way. Yet, she knew she could never find the strength to go to Lance and tell him about it personally...

For the moment, everything was okay, since neither Lucian nor Cynthia seemed to have noticed the error yet and Lance, too, hadn’t called her to his office, so he was just as clueless. Maybe she could smuggle the egg out of the Pokecenter somehow, hide it and get rid of it later. She knew a lot of trainers that would gladly take care of an Eevee. Herself being one of them, too.

Sabrina sat up, ready to leave, when she slipped and, rather by accident then by pure will, touched the enter button again, yet the search options now labelled with the addition of ‘ten years ago’.

Annoyed, Sabrina wanted to close the multiple searching windows as soon as possible, but hesitated when she read a name that was oh so familiar. ‘Bender....?’

More out of pure boredom then out of real interest- since Bender wasn’t that of an uncommon name, she sat down again and decided to do a quick search.
__________________
The Time goes by Here's my Key Philosophy And take your Time
So naturally A Freak like me To trust in me
While you'll receive Just needs And you'll find
~*~Infinity~*~
Lyrics from:Guru Josh Project:Infinity 2008
  #47    
Old July 6th, 2009, 11:26 AM
Psychic*Absol's Avatar
Psychic*Absol
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(Continued)
The silence of the room was unearthly, especially when one considered what was going on inside. The young man, his spiky, red-pink hair bathed in shadows, was getting dressed without saying a single word, without making a single sound. His movements were robotic, and, strangely enough, he paused every few seconds to glance at the young woman sitting on his bed, her legs crossed, her head resting on her right hand. She nodded now and then, to confirm his every doing and yet it didn’t look like as if there was any need for her to disapprove of any of his movements. Her silver eyes just stared sleepily ahead, watching him and yet not watching him, for there was nothing he could do that she did not foresee.

When she started to talk, it was as if a soundless world got catapulted into another dimension. “And you will call off your bodyguards, right? We don’t need yours, mine will do well.” His bodyguards would ruin her whole plan with their dark Pokemon, blocking her powers and making her lose control of him. She couldn’t allow him to get near anyone, especially his ex-girlfriend, yet. Yet she wasn’t inclined on keeping him forever, no. She would give him back. Lance was just a means to an end, just like the other, blissfully unaware, league trainer. Cynthia bit her lip. And just like Lucian, too. Yet he was a means to an end and target at the same time. She had used him, she admitted. She had lied to him and she continued to lie to him, telling herself that men were the last thing she needed. And women, judging from how Jenny had failed so far.

Yet, was that the truth?

“You’ll stay in your office. Don’t answer anyone before contacting me, right? Don’t let anyone come in, either. You have the authority to do so. You’ll meet them soon enough.“ The man nodded before walking out of the door without a word, closing the door behind him.

Cynthia let herself fall back onto the bed, her hair covering the sheets, spreading in all directions. For one moment, she could exclude all trouble from her life, because for once, there was nothing she had to take care of, nothing to organize, no strings to pull. For once, even she had to wait. She had to wait for Jenny to find the Espeon. Then, the curtains would rise again and the final act would start, with both tragic heroes falling and failing. It was a short act, probably only consisting of several dialogues, and yet it was worth it.

Was it?

Glancing at the calendar to her left, she tensed. Considering how the day was likely to be lost, she only had five more days. Five days...would that be nearly enough? After all, she had hired the best hunter in the whole of Sinnoh, and still, she hadn’t managed to catch an Espeon in a matter of two days. And she couldn’t hide Lance forever...

On the other hand, that psychic trainer had most likely been informed by her boyfriend about the ’stolen’ Pokemon already, and if she was clever, she had drawn the right conclusion about her involvement...

Cynthia smiled malevolently. Why not use it to her advantage...?

~~~~~~~

Sabrina yawned, her gaze slowly wandering over to the clock hanging on the wall away from her. It was getting late, and she had already missed dinner, though, knowing her colleagues, she had not really missed a lot. Maybe Will was already wondering where she was now, as after all, she had told him it wouldn’t take long to find the owner and she would come back to her hotel room as soon as she had an address or anything of use. But now, she had already spent over three hours there. And only because of the free internet connection...

Sabrina giggled. Well, if Will really worried about her, he should know that she had her own mind and had all the right to do whatever she wanted to. He was not her babysitter and she was not going to take the minutes of everything she did just for him. And after all, she had taken her mobile with her, he had her phone number and he could always call her...

Hopefully, he wouldn’t.

She was just too absorbed in the article she had found minutes ago. After browsing around aimlessly for more than half an hour, she had finally decided to follow the trace of the name ‘Bender’. In the end, it had turned out to be quite a funny story. Not that she really got all of the details, because that was just impossible when the only sources were a single entry in the post office’s registration data base and a newspaper article of about five lines. Apparently, a George Bender, a man of forty-five years back then, had to send an apology to the Pokemon League itself because his son, a ‘high-spirited rascal of fourteen’ had tried to rob the Pokemon Center of Teak City. Sabrina shook her head; the dumbness of the boy was simply incredible. Pokemon Centers had no money themselves, as the only things stored there were medicine and sometimes food for the incoming trainers, but most of the times, even food had to be ordered from local companies. Anyone who tried to rob a Pokemon Center had to be either very stupid or very desperate. She couldn’t find out which of these two the boy had been, but the story was hilarious nevertheless. An apology letter....Sabrina shook her head. Lance hadn’t been the head back then, as it had still been Charles Goodshow, and he had apparently been a lot less demanding than Lance was nowadays. Had this happened under his reign, the poor boy would still be paying damages. Sabrina wondered briefly what he was doing now...

Maybe he was now a Pokemon trainer himself. Sabrina blinked suddenly, before yawning and squeezing her eyes tight shut. It was already getting late and that certainly influenced her awareness. If that boy had been fourteen then, he had already been a trainer, at least if he had started the usual way. Sabrina shook her head, while resting it on her arms next to the keyboard of the computer at the same time. A trainer robbing a Pokemon center...even more reasons to believe said trainer was more than just dumb.

Slowly, without noticing, Sabrina started to fall asleep in the hall.

Yet, someone had been worried about her. Someone had been wondering where she had been, after her promise to come back as soon as possible. And said someone was now going to look for her.

Will slowly walked down the stairs to the giant main foyer, the place where Sabrina had said she would be by then. It was already getting darker and the ceiling-reaching windows didn’t give as much light then as they had in the hours before. The room was not lit by artificial light, for Lance wasn’t willed to pay for random people who might not even belong to the league, using the electricity instead. So then, already past six PM, the only lights in the room came from the computer screens and the rare bedside lamps brought by the long workers. He rolled his eyes at Lance’s parsimony, cost-cutting at the cost of his employee’s eyesight. At least Sabrina wasn’t in immediate danger, because from what he saw, his beloved had already fallen asleep. He smiled and walked up to her, slowly stroking her silky dark hair. She shifted slightly in her sleep, but didn’t wake up. She was too tired, as she hadn’t gotten enough sleep the past morning, so she was making up for it then. And Will wasn’t going to disturb her, not in the least. He put his left arm under her neck and slowly lifted her from the chair, still amazed at how light a grown woman could be. Her long hair tickled his arm, as she squirmed into his arms, still asleep, yet feeling instinctively more relaxed, as if she knew who was carrying her. And maybe she did, even without her powers, even without a consciousness.

Will had to be even more careful when he walked up the stairs to the hotel rooms, yet he didn’t expect her to wake up any time soon. She was really in deep, deep slumber and hadn’t even reacted much to the changing of environment when he had walked out of the foyer into April’s fresh spring air. She didn’t even shudder, just keeping her peaceful, calm face cuddled against his vest, searching, longing for the warm and for the sound of his heartbeat. He smiled wordlessly at her, glad that they had come back to each other.

He was now standing in front of her hotel room, carefully balancing what weight she had on his chest and knees, while trying hard to not wake her up. That got even harder when he noticed that her door was locked and the only ones probably having access to the keys were either asleep or not within reach. Irresolutely, he stood there for a while, not knowing what to do. He couldn’t get into her room, for he didn’t want to risk teleporting inside together with her when he was still inexperienced, yet he didn’t want to wake her up either. After glancing at the left, where his and Karen’s room was located, he remembered what Karen had said. She had been kind of right... He shivered as he got an idea, one that wasn’t all that comfortable thinking about... But in the end, he had no other choice.

Slowly, he opened the door to his hotel room, as he had left the door open when he had left to search for Sabrina. The room was dark as well, only the light from the street lamps illuminating a few outlines. Will stared at the shadows in front of him, allowing his eyes to get used to them. Then he walked into the room and let Sabrina slowly down on the bed, taking her shoes and coat off her shoulders. He left her in her underwear, not daring to undress her completely, not daring to cross that border yet. She was beautiful enough as she was, and he already shuddered from the sheer thought of...spending the night with her. Not in the sexual way, but just staying there with her. Again and yet closer. He took off his own vest, his pants, his shoes, and, for a rare occasion, his mask as well. Here, in this complete darkness, with only his beloved around him, he felt safe enough to do so. Tracing his scars with his fingers, he shuddered at the memory of the pain, of the fear and of the burning knowledge that he would forever be marked, all because of a simple slip, and the unwillingness of the doctors to at least repair his skin, all because of...

He sighed. It did not matter. His beloved did not seem to mind his scars. She loved him the way he was.

Slowly, he sat down on the bed, stroking Sabrina’s hair as she slept peacefully. “Good night, my dear.” He laid down next to her, pulling the sheets up and again kissing her hair. Soon, both were engulfed in their peaceful dreamlands, the difficulties of last night forgotten.

~~~~~~~

In the foyer, a young woman walked down the stairs so quietly one could think she was floating, yet it was only the experience she had, being used to high heels longer than her whole legs. She had noticed her colleague, and yet she hadn’t been interested in making herself known to him, only watching him and his girlfriend with a smirk. Looking around, she made sure no one had noticed her so far; before she went to the computer Sabrina had worked on and glanced over the screen. Will hadn’t bothered with turning it off, not even with looking what was up on it. Now that she saw the internet page, Karen knew it had been a mistake. She laughed quietly. He was such an idiot... Yet, this was an awkward story...

Karen sat down, licking her fingers. This would get him into trouble. Because either Lance or Sabrina did not know a thing about this....

End of Chapter 6, Part 2
__________________
The Time goes by Here's my Key Philosophy And take your Time
So naturally A Freak like me To trust in me
While you'll receive Just needs And you'll find
~*~Infinity~*~
Lyrics from:Guru Josh Project:Infinity 2008
  #48    
Old July 6th, 2009, 09:53 PM
delongbi's Avatar
delongbi
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Join Date: Mar 2008
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I was sooo excited to see a new chapter! Yay!

Quote:
No, I have not forgotten about the fic. *I* haven't. *cough*
You'd better not!!! Do you know how long we have been waiting for a new chapter?! Well, I guess you do because you're the one writing... Anyway, I love this story; you cannot forget about it!

Quote:
Sabrina relaxed, feeling much better now that she was outside with her headache being gone, and, most importantly of course, together with Will again.
Awkward sentence. I would change it to something like: Sabrina relaxed, feeling much better now that she was outside. Her headache was finally gone, but most importantly, she was together with Will again.

Quote:
And just as she had promised mere hours before, she would never read his mind to find out.
Avoid starting sentences with "and." It is unnecessary- just start with "Just..."

Quote:
“Of course not. Do you think I cared about the newspaper when I was drunk?” she smiled, actually not mad at Will, yet teasing him.
The "she" in "she smiled" should begin with a capital "S."

You are overusing "yet" again- way too many examples to bother putting here.

Quote:
distaste
0_0 Is that a word?

Nya... I think I'm going to stop with grammar issues. It gets too annoying to keep posting down here when I want to read!!!

Quote:
Will nodded, and yet he was sure there was someone who could...someone he strongly suspected to be an unfair player then.
Cynthia!

Quote:
“There is no known psychic stronger than me...there were some in the past, hundreds of years ago...but not in the present.”
That is just asking to be proved wrong.

Quote:
Sabrina nodded. “In theory. But not in reality. There are no dark psychics.”
See above comment.

Great chapter- well, except for some awkward grammar. I love the mystery you've created! Ahh! I can't wait for the next chapter!!!

By the way, is Will's last name Bender?
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  #49    
Old July 7th, 2009, 09:22 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by delongbi View Post
You'd better not!!! Do you know how long we have been waiting for a new chapter?! Well, I guess you do because you're the one writing... Anyway, I love this story; you cannot forget about it!
Well...I have certainly not forgotten about the fic, as I'm still writing it (or, well, will write it once I get free from exams). It's again my beta-reader, but I don't blame him. ^^
Quote:
Originally Posted by delongbi View Post
Avoid starting sentences with "and." It is unnecessary- just start with "Just..."
Even though my German teacher told me, long ago (lol) similar things, I still think "Just" at the beginning of a sentence sounds even more awkward. o,o
Quote:
Originally Posted by delongbi View Post
The "she" in "she smiled" should begin with a capital "S."
*gives note to beta-reader* Finding mistakes of this kind is his job. 0=)
Quote:
Originally Posted by delongbi View Post
You are overusing "yet" again- way too many examples to bother putting here.
And I thought I cut it down...>.<
Quote:
Originally Posted by delongbi View Post
0_0 Is that a word?
According to my dictionary, it is.
Quote:
Originally Posted by delongbi View Post
Nya... I think I'm going to stop with grammar issues. It gets too annoying to keep posting down here when I want to read!!!
XD *agrees*
Quote:
Originally Posted by delongbi View Post
Cynthia!
*nods* 0=)
Quote:
Originally Posted by delongbi View Post
That is just asking to be proved wrong.
It is? 0=) (CPF would *so* like it to be proved wrong, nah, CPF? XD)
Quote:
Originally Posted by delongbi View Post
Great chapter- well, except for some awkward grammar. I love the mystery you've created! Ahh! I can't wait for the next chapter!!!
XD Thanks (okay, I don't see my grammar as awkward, but then, it's a different language for me...XD). Most of the mystery will be carried over into the next part (=/= next chapter), so stay tuned! XDBut don't worry, I won't leave many secrets open. ;-)
Quote:
Originally Posted by delongbi View Post
By the way, is Will's last name Bender?
0=) It is, it is...*winks at Wyyrlokk*
__________________
The Time goes by Here's my Key Philosophy And take your Time
So naturally A Freak like me To trust in me
While you'll receive Just needs And you'll find
~*~Infinity~*~
Lyrics from:Guru Josh Project:Infinity 2008
  #50    
Old July 7th, 2009, 03:58 PM
Crazy Packers Fan
Gym Leader
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
It helps being on the "inside" when it comes to this story... because Cynthia is of course "borrowed" from me. She's not as twisted and evil as my Cynthia, but she has the same basic powers.

I enjoyed this chapter, even if there was not too much Cynthia. Sabrina would sometimes confuse me with her rants, the same way Will was confused, but I liked how Sabrina always seemed to sum up what she meant. That makes things easier to understand, and I like that.

It's pretty clear now that Lance wanted to give the egg to Cynthia but couldn't, the question is, if he wanted to in the first place, why would it be considered stealing if Cynthia had J retrieve it for her? Or did Lance have no control over his mind when he thought about giving over the egg?

Either way, it seems to me that if Cynthia wanted to, she could take over the Indigo League right now because Lance is so helpless. And poor Lucian... out of the picture...

Now you owe me a review!
 
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