The PokéCommunity Forums  

Go Back   The PokéCommunity Forums > Creative Discussions > Fan Fiction and Writing
Sign Up Rules/FAQ Live Battle Blogs Mark Forums Read

Notices

Fan Fiction and Writing Submit your stories and poems.


Advertise here

Reply
 
Thread Tools
  #1    
Old February 22nd, 2009, 10:27 PM
SamuraiMaster's Avatar
SamuraiMaster
and his son, Layne (Buizel).
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Colorado
Age: 23
Gender: Male
Nature: Calm
Send a message via AIM to SamuraiMaster

Advertise here
This is a song I've written a few monthes ago. It's a song that's gonna get used by my band I am now currently in. It's probably one of my darkest things I have written ever. Please give me some feedback. This is an anti-war ballad, a letter written to the mother of an unnamed soldier.

Letter From No Man's Land

[starts out soft and slow]

[echoes] Mother........

It’s not a secret anymore
I have rotten to the core
No one knows, what life has stored
What the hell is this war for?


Insanity traps me from inside
War’s done nothing, but kill my pride
Where I sleep, is a crimson tide
It makes me want to run and hide

[mini solo; still quiet]

The stench of death looms in the air
This insanity’s more than I can bare
My life now, none shall spare
Does anyone out there even care?

Now I lay me down to sleep
I pray the Lord, my soul to keep
If I shall die before I wake
I pray the Lord, my soul to take

[mini solo leading to the bridge]

[bridge; dynamics get louder]

Death happens all around me
It does nothing, but feed my inner insanity
I no longer want to fight
This just doesn’t seem all right
I might fall in the abyss
I just can’t take much more of this
This all makes me want to yell
Damn it all, damn it all straight to hell!

...mother please...I wanna go home...help me...

[solo]

[loudest point in this song]

I just gotta flee this hell
Peace, no longer can it sell
Please, dear God, please hear my cry
Take me with you, to the sky!

Mother, I love you, I hope you know
Love you, more than I could show
I write this letter shedding tears
I really wish that you were here!


Mother I am freaking out
I finally regain my right to shout
This war itself has gone amok
Yet no one seems to give a...

[song ends abruptly as an explosion sounds followed by gunfire and war sound effects]

©2008
__________________
My Buizel is not amused with your foolishness.

Mystery Dungeon: Through the Never
I'd appreciate any reviews on my fic.
Reply With Quote
Reply
Quick Reply

Sponsored Links


Advertise here
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Minimum Characters Per Post: 25



All times are UTC -8. The time now is 04:24 AM.


Style by Nymphadora, artwork by Sa-Dui.
Like our Facebook Page Follow us on Twitter © 2002 - 2014 The PokéCommunity™, pokecommunity.com.
Pokémon characters and images belong to The Pokémon Company International and Nintendo. This website is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Nintendo, Creatures, GAMEFREAK, The Pokémon Company or The Pokémon Company International. We just love Pokémon.
All forum styles, their images (unless noted otherwise) and site designs are © 2002 - 2014 The PokéCommunity / PokéCommunity.com.
PokéCommunity™ is a trademark of The PokéCommunity. All rights reserved. Sponsor advertisements do not imply our endorsement of that product or service. User generated content remains the property of its creator.