The PokéCommunity Forums  

Go Back   The PokéCommunity Forums > Creative Discussions > Fan Fiction and Writing
Sign Up Rules/FAQ Live Battle Blogs Mark Forums Read

Notices

Fan Fiction and Writing Submit your stories and poems.

Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools
  #1    
Old November 16th, 2008, 08:29 AM
Lukespade's Avatar
Lukespade
Poke'mon Author
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Wisconsin
Gender:
Nature: Relaxed
Prologue


This world is filled creatures known as Pokémon. Of these creatures, there are some known as Legendary Pokémon, which are very rare and incredibly powerful. However, these certain Pokémon are more than just the inhabitants of the earth; they govern the future and safety of the planet. Every one thousand years, the Legendary Pokémon gather at a place known as the Shrine of Legends. There they choose one human being to possess the power of Arceus, the God Pokémon, sp that they can change the world in the way they see fit. Some humans who have knowledge of this wish to govern that power for their own selfish and greedy desires. These people will stop at nothing to gain that power. To protect the earth and Legendary Pokémon from these people, the Order of the Legends exists; a secret and mysterious group of people who enforce the laws of nature and protect the world from harm.


* * * *


After Ash Ketchum journeyed through the Sinnoh region and won his first championship, he returned to Pallet town and restarted his journey through Kanto, while Brock returned to his home town of Pewter to further his training as a breeder and to be with his family while Forrest, Brock’s brother, managed the gym as Gym Leader. Dawn moved on to the Hoenn region and began her journey to be a coordinator. May also continued her journey, moving on to Sinnoh, and Max finally began his Pokémon journey in Hoenn two years later. Tracey took up the job of head Pokémon researcher at Professor Oak’s laboratory after Professor Oak died of natural causes one year after Ash’s return to Kanto. As Ash came to the Cerulean Gym, he battled with Misty for the Cascade badge again. When he defeated her, Misty pleaded with her sisters to allow her to travel with Ash again. Her sisters accepted and their journey together began again. Ash and Misty traveled through the Kanto, Johto, and Hoenn regions and won each of the championships. Now, ten years after he began his journey, he comes to his final match with the most powerful Pokémon trainer in the world: The Pokémon World Championship Battle.
__________________
"Oh Captain my Captain"

Last edited by Lukespade; November 16th, 2008 at 05:49 PM.
  #2    
Old November 16th, 2008, 03:58 PM
Post Office Buddy's Avatar
Post Office Buddy
Trapped inside this Octavarium
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Michigan (The land of the ice and snow)
Age: 25
Gender: Male
Nature: Quiet
Nice to see that you haven't given up on this fic, and are instead revising it. It looks so far like I'll be the first review, but someone else might get a review up before I can post this.

First off, the PFF rules state that you aren't supposed to change the font. The default font works just fine, and there is really no need to change it. Please don't take this as an insult, but rather as friendly advice.

Now, I saw a few grammar errors and punctuation errors. They shall be listed below, with the correction shown with it.

Quote:
Of these creatures, there are some known as Legendary Pokémon, which are very rare and incredibly powerful.
Comma error there. This is one of those cases where there is an independent and subordinate clause that needs to be separated by a comma. If you don't know what an independent or subordinate clause are, then check here.

Quote:
However, these certain Pokémon are more than just the inhabitants of the earth; they govern the future and safety of the planet.
Should have a semicolon instead of a comma. Since you can break up the two parts into two separate sentences, then a semicolon should be used. A semicolon is just an alternate way to write a period without ending the sentence.

Quote:
Every one thousand years, the Legendary Pokémon gather at a place known as the Shrine of Legend.
There should be a comma after "years". Also, maybe you should call it the "Shrine of Legends" instead of "Shrine of Legend." Just a small suggestion.

Quote:
There they choose one human being to possess the power of Arceus, the God Pokémon, so that they can change the world in the way they see fit. Some humans who have knowledge of this wish to govern that power for their own selfish and greedy desires.
The original context seemed like the human had the ability to give away the power. This more directly portrays your meaning. Also, I changed some of the wording to be clearer. The last correction was changing a semicolon to a period, since the two sentences have completely different ideas.

Quote:
To protect the earth and Legendary Pokémon from these types of people, the Order of the Legends exists; a secret and mysterious group of people who enforce the laws of nature and protect the world from harm.
"Types of" is unnecessary. It is much simpler to say "these people" than "these types of people". Also, "enforce" should be one word and spelled as indicated.

Quote:
he returned to Pallet town and re-started his journey through Kanto,
There shouldn't be a space after the dash in "re-started". Also, I think it would be correct to write it as "restarted".

Quote:
Dawn moved on to the Hoenn region and began her journey to be a coordinator.
"Traveling her path" is awkward; "her journey" flows better. Just a word choice problem really.

Quote:
May also continued her journey, moving on to Sinnoh, and Max finally began his Pokémon journey in Hoenn two years later.
Two comma errors here. First, you should have put a comma after "Sinnoh", while omitting the comma after "Hoenn".

Quote:
The Pokémon World Championship Battle.
Random much? There was absolutely no transition to this sentence. It went from "strongest trainer battling Ash" to "World Championship Battle" with nothing in between. Place a transition somewhere in there to ease the reader to this idea more.

A few final notes: You seem to repeat "again" several times. You need to be careful about this, since it may bore your readers a bit. Try to replace some of these "agains" with synonyms of it. Just don't feel down about it; I make the same mistake quite often in my fictions. In fact, plenty of writers do. It's just something you have to be conscious of when you write.

Anyway, I hope my review has helped you. I am looking forward to critiquing your next chapter and helping you develop your skills further. And, once again, I would like to say that I am glad that you stuck with this. Sometimes it is far easier to give up than to persevere. Feel proud that you persevered
__________________
I am returning once again (hopefully for good). I will be updating Affliction regularly and reviewing other people's fics every so often. If you would like to request a review, then please send me a PM.

My FFC entry for April 2008: My Endless Loneliness
My Discontinued, Chaptered FanFiction: The Fall of Light
My current chaptered FanFiction: Affliction
My Parody of Pure Awesomeness (requires some context to fully appreciate): Sir. Aaron - A Parody
  #3    
Old November 17th, 2008, 07:53 PM
Lukespade's Avatar
Lukespade
Poke'mon Author
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Wisconsin
Gender:
Nature: Relaxed
The moon and stars shine brightly down upon Indigo Plateau on the clear night. The stadium lights begin to flicker on as bustling and excited people file in to their seats. Blindingly, the lights show the soft dirt ground of the battle field. The stadium is filled with children excited to see a Pokémon battle, adults trying to keep their kids from jumping around, and other Pokémon trainers who all are intent on learning something from this battle, all roaring and cheering with anticipation.

“The battle for the Pokémon World Championship title will begin in fifteen minutes.” The announcer explains over the loudspeakers. “We ask that you please do not attempt to interfere with the battle in any way. Doing so may cause you and your party to be ejected from the stadium. Thank you for listening and we hope you enjoy the battle!”


* * * *


Ash sits in the locker room trying to meditate on his battle. The room is dimly lit and his face is completely stern; his eyes are closed. Pikachu is sitting next to him doing the same. Suddenly, the door opens and Misty walks in.

“Ash, are you all right?” Misty asks innocently as she walks in. Ash opens his eyes and looks over at her. He is almost in tears and his body is completely tensed up. Misty runs over to her with a very concerned look on her face. “You look sick!” She puts her hand to his sweaty head. “You’re shaking… you’re really nervous aren’t you.”

Ash manages a nod and Pikachu tries to comfort him by hopping on his lap and rubbing up against him. Ash looks down at Pikachu and Pikachu smiles up at him.

“Pika!” the small Pokémon chirps at him. Ash smiles and loosens up a bit.

Misty sits down next to him and places her arm around his back. They look at each other and both smile. Ash’s muscles loosen completely now and he feels much more confident.

“I know you can do it Ash.” Misty says softly to Ash. “I’ve always known you could do it… from the day I met you.” Ash nods and pets Pikachu on the head. Pikachu makes a small sound and shakes in happiness from the feeling of Ash’s hand. “Oh that’s right; I almost forgot!” Misty stands up and runs out the door. Ash looks down at Pikachu in confusion. Misty returns a minute later. “I’ve got something for you Ash.” She reaches into her small orange backpack and pulls out a red and white hat with a green symbol on the front. “It’s your old hat. Your mother thought you’d like it for your match today.”

Ash takes off the hat he is currently wearing and hands it to Misty. Ash takes the hat remembering the first time he met Pikachu, the first Pokémon he ever caught, the first gym battle he ever fought, and all his friends.

“The battle will begin in five minutes.” They hear the announcer say from the main stadium speakers.

“Alright Ash, I’ll be cheering for you.” Misty happily says as she walks over to Ash. “Everyone is going to be here; May, Max, Brock, Dawn, Tracey, your mom, and even Gary!” Misty says in a reassuring tone. All three of them are silent for a moment.

“Thank you Misty.” Misty looks surprised as Ash speaks in a confident tone. “Thank you for everything.” Ash embraces Misty in a long but firm hug. Misty, shocked, finally hugs back and a tear comes to her eye. Ash releases her, turning his back to her. Misty continues to look at him and smile… with tears pouring from her eyes.

“Will the challenger, Ash Ketchum, please report to the battle field.” The announcer calls through the speakers. Misty walks out the door behind her and runs to her seat in the stadium.

“This is it Pikachu.” Ash says staring down the dark hallway. “This is what we’ve dreamt of for our whole journey; for ten whole years.” Pikachu stares down the hallway just as Ash does. “Are you ready?” Pikachu nods his head sharply and confidently. “Then let’s go.” Ash puts on his hat.

They start walking slowly down the hallway and notice the light from the end of the tunnel. They walk towards the light; as they exit the tunnel, they are blinded by the stadium lights. The stadium roars when Ash and Pikachu walk through the tunnel exit. Stunned for a moment, they freeze as they enter the stadium. Their eyes adjust to the light and they continue walking to the spot specified for them on the battle field. Ash and Pikachu stop at the square on the side of the battle stadium.

“Here he is! Ash Ketchum from Pallet Town!” the announcer screams over the microphone. “And now… we are honored to have with us the champion of the Pokémon world. For ten long years, this man has never been defeated and has held the title of champion. I am glad to introduce…” a man in a black cloak and hood appears from the tunnel on the opposite side of the stadium. “Goliath!” the crowd bursts into cheering from his appearance. The man waves to his fans for a moment and then turns his attention to Ash. He puts his hand up and the crowd goes silent. He walks towards Ash and Ash walks towards him. They meet in the center of the stadium.

“It’s been a long time Ash.” Goliath says with wisdom and kindness in his voice.

“Huh? Do we know each other?” Ash asks in a confused voice.

“More than you know.” Goliath out stretches his arm and opens his palm. Ash shakes his hand and the crowd goes wild. “Good luck.”

Ash and Goliath turn their backs to each other and walk back to their spots. Ash kneels down and pets Pikachu.

“I’m counting on you.” Pikachu nods and lets out a small confident cry. The referee walks to his post on the long side of the battle field and raises his flags to gain Ash’s and Goliath’s attention.

“Here are the rules: both players will use six Pokémon, the player who runs out of Pokémon first loses the match, and there are no substitutions.” The referee yells. “Please prepare your Pokéballs.” Ash stands up and grabs a Pokéball from his belt. Goliath reaches to his belt and grabs a Pokéball as well. “Begin!”

“Alright Swellow! Let’s go!” Ash yells as he throws his Pokéball into the air. The ball opens and a white light flows out; Swellow appears in the air.

“Scizor, it is time.” Goliath calmly exclaims as he holds his Pokéball out in front of him. It opens and Scizor appears in a flash of light. Scizor takes an intimidating stance and prepares for battle.

‘A Scizor huh? Alright…’ Ash thinks to himself. “Aerial Ace!” Swellow flaps its wings and soars towards Scizor with complete precision.

“Counter it with Double Edge!” Scizor stands its ground and pulls its arm back and hurls it at Swellow smashing its claw into Swellow’s face. Swellow is knocked back, flipping in the air. Scizor doesn’t move an inch but does violently flinch from the impact.

“Swellow, use the spinning to your advantage and gain momentum!” Swellow tries to catch air on its wings from the spinning but can’t. Its back smashes into the stadium wall causing Swellow to fall to the ground. “Try to get up Swellow!” Ash calls anxiously to his Pokémon. Swellow tries to lift itself up with its wings and stands up shakily. “Can you continue?” Swellow screeches to Ash in assurance. “Alright then, Wing Attack!” Swellow flaps its wings, rising just above the ground and rushes towards Scizor. Scizor stares firmly into the attack.

“Dodge and hit it from beneath with Metal Claw!” Scizor kneels down quickly and punches Swellow in the stomach with its claw as Swellow flies over it. Swellow screeches in pain, its face tenses up. Swellow flaps its wings trying to keep itself in the air but falls to the ground a few feet behind Scizor. Swellow lies there, completely unconscious.

“Swellow is unable to battle!” yells the referee. Ash recalls Swellow in a beam of red light.

‘That’s a strong Scizor’ Ash clenches his teeth and tenses up. He grabs another Pokéball from his belt and inflates it. “Go Heracross!” Heracross appears in a flash of light. “Heracross, use Megahorn!” Heracross charges towards Scizor who still stands its ground ready to take the attack.

“Scizor, Metal Claw again!” Scizor pulls its arm back and hurls its claw towards Heracross.

“Heracross, duck under his claw and hit it in the chest!” Ash yells confidently. Heracross narrowly ducks under the claw and lunges his horn into Scizor’s chest. Scizor’s eye’s widen and it looses its footing. It falls over backward, unconscious.

“Scizor is unable to battle!” the referee dictates. Goliath recalls Scizor to its Pokéball.

“That was impressive Ash. How’d you figure out how to beat my Scizor so easily?”

“It was simple really. I noticed that after that Double Edge, your Scizor was really hurting. Even though a Double Edge wouldn’t hurt that much even if it was being used to counter an attack. This meant that your Scizor didn’t have much stamina but a lot of strength in its arms and legs. You tried to deceive me into thinking that your Scizor had high stamina by making it stay in one place that whole battle but I saw right through that.”

“Good for you. Unfortunately, the rest of the battle won’t be that easy.” He grabs a Pokéball from his belt and holds it out in front of him. “Tyranitar, it is time.” The ball opens and a large Tyranitar emerges and roars with an angry look upon its face. “Tyranitar… Hyper Beam!” Tyranitar opens its mouth and a massive yellow beam of energy appears from its mouth and streaks towards Heracross.

“Dodge it!” Heracross jumps to the side, avoiding the beam but the beam hits the ground and the explosion blows Heracross across the field. Heracross lands and skids on the ground but stands right back up with a determined look on its face. “Heracross, fly towards Tyranitar and use Double Team to surround it!” Heracross flies quickly towards Tyranitar. As he lands; ten images of Heracross spawn from it and surround the massive Pokémon. Tyrantitar begins frantically looking in every direction, getting confused.

“Tyranitar, calm down and focus!” Tyranitar stops flailing and closes its eyes. “Earthquake!” Tyrantitar roars and a shock wave is released from its feet causing the stadium to rumble and the ground underneath them to crack and shake. Goliath, Ash, and the referee stumble to catch their balance while the audience holds tightly onto their chairs. All the images of Heracross disappear. “What?! Where is the real one?!”

“I thought you might do that. Heracross, Megahorn!” Heracross plummets down from above Tyranitar and lands his horn on Tyranitar’s head. Tyranitar roars from the pain and flails causing Heracross to get thrown onto the ground. Heracross recovers easily and faces Tyranitar in a battle stance. Tyranitar, still flailing roars loudly and some children in the audience cry in fear.

“Impressive! However, there is one flaw to your plan… my Tyranitar is angry now. Outrage!” Tyranitar roars incredibly loudly and Heracross’s face goes from confidence to fear in an instant. Tyranitar charges at Heracross in rampaging fury.

“Heracross! You’ve got to dodge it!” Heracross, however, cannot move. It is frozen in fear. Tyranitar collides with Heracross, sending it flying towards the wall, but Tyranitar keeps charging towards it. Heracross hits the wall hard and then Tyranitar hits Heracross hard. “Heracross!” Ash yells in fear of his Pokémon being hurt. He notices that Heracross is fighting to stay conscious. Tyranitar continues to pummel it and Heracross can’t do anything about it. Suddenly, Tyranitar roars and steps back while holding its head like it’s got a headache. “What?” Now flat on its stomach, Heracross tries to get up and is able to stagger to the ground, shaking severely. Tyranitar begins bashing its own head into the wall again and again.

“No! Tyranitar!” Goliath yells concerned.

“He’s confused!” Ash yells in excitement. “Now’s your chance Heracross, hit him with a Megahorn and aim for his head again!” Heracross flies into the air, still shaking, and lunges towards Tyranitar’s head. It hits Tyranitar and Tyranitar flails, throwing Heracross onto the ground hard. Tyrantitar falls, unconscious, to the ground while Heracross also falls unconscious.

“Both Pokémon are unable to battle!” the referee yells. Goliath and Ash recall their Pokémon to their Pokéballs.

“You’re a very skilled trainer Ash. I haven’t had a battle like this in years.” Goliath holds a Pokéball out it front of him and a Tropius appears. “Troipus, it is time.”

“Go, Meganium!” Ash yells as he throws a Pokéball in the air and in a flash of light a Meganium appears on the field.

“You may restart the match!”
__________________
"Oh Captain my Captain"

Last edited by Lukespade; November 18th, 2008 at 06:08 AM.
  #4    
Old November 20th, 2008, 02:23 PM
Lukespade's Avatar
Lukespade
Poke'mon Author
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Wisconsin
Gender:
Nature: Relaxed
“Meganium, use Razor Leaf!” Ash yells to his Pokémon. Meganium lowers its head and raises the petals on its neck; sharp spinning leaves shoot out from under the petals and careen towards Tropius.

“Tropius, dodge it with Fly.” Goliath calmly commands. Tropius flaps the four giant leaves on its back and is carried into the air quickly; the Razor Leaf shoots right under it. “Now, hit it with everything you’ve got.” Tropius gives one good flap to its leaves and speeds towards Meganium. It hits Meganium with its head, impacting Meganium’s chest. Meganium is knocked back a few feat and flipped onto its back; Tropius lands standing over Meganium.

Meganium, try to get up and use Take Down!” Meganium rolls onto its side and stands up. It launches itself at Tropius, putting its entire weight into the tackling motion.

“Tropius, Aerial Ace!” Tropius flaps its leaves and flies quickly into the air and down towards Meganium. Meganium tries to jump on top of Tropius while it was close to the ground but fails. Tropius strikes Meganium hard with its leaf while passing. Meganium, however, isn’t fazed. Tropius hovers a few feet away from Meganium just above the ground.

We’ve got to somehow keep Tropius on the ground. Ash frantically thinks to himself. Ash suddenly gains a confident look on his face. “Meganium, Vine Whip and keep Tropius close to the ground!” Meganium, with a ferocious look on its face, lashed a vine, from under its petal, at Tropius rapping it around its torso. Meganium pulls with all its weight and Tropius starts to fall to the ground.

“Tropius, Whirlwind! Lift Meganium off the ground!” Tropius viciously flaps its leaves creating massive winds that twisted towards Meganium.

“Jump to the left Meganium!” Meganium hops a few feet to the left and the small tornado went right past Meganium and dissipated a few feet past it. “Now Meganium, pull it down with all your might! Use Strength!” Meganium yanks the vine hard and Tropius falls straight to the ground. Tropius lands on its back and has the wind knocked out of it, it cannot move and has an exhausted look on its face.

“Tropius, you have to get up!” Tropius snaps out of its immobility and squirms trying to roll over and get the vine off it.

“Not a chance! Meganium, tie down Tropius’s arms, legs, leaves, and tail with Grass Knot!” Meganium releases its vine and begins to glow a feint green. Suddenly, long blades of grass sprout from underneath Tropius and rap around its arms, legs, leaves, and tail creating small tight knots. “Excellent, it can’t move. Meganium, use Body Slam!” Meganium runs towards Tropius, jumps over it and falls directly on top of it. Tropius stretches its long neck and lets out a pain induced screech, falling unconscious.

“Tropius is unable to battle!” the referee yells. Goliath recalls Tropius to its Pokéball. He grabs another Pokéball from his belt and holds it out in front of him.

“Glaceon, it is time.” The Pokéball in Goliath’s hand opens and a small fox like Pokémon comes out. “Glaceon, use Icy Wind.” Glaceon opens its mouth and small shards of ice spew out towards Meganium.

“Look out Meganium!” Meganium attempts to run out of the winds area of effect but could not. Meganium is pummeled and scratched by the ice. Meganium, now looking very beat up, is barely able to keep standing. “Meganium, Synthesis!” Meganium closes its eyes and begins to glow a vibrant lime green. The wounds on its body begin to disappear.

“Glaceon, quickly while it’s healing! Use Ice Beam!” Glaceon opens its mouth and a small orb of light blue energy materializes at the opening of its mouth. The orb shoots out three lighting bolt like beams towards Meganium.

“No! Meganium!” Meganium is impacted by the beams while still restoring itself; it is frozen in place by a giant block of ice.

“Meganium is unable to battle.” The referee announces. Ash recalls Meganium to its Pokéball.

“Guess I’ll try Charizard.” Ash unclips a Pokéball from his belt and throws it into the air. Charizard appears in a flash of light onto the field. It roars loudly for its emergence into the battle. “Right! Let’s keep that confidence and moral! Flamethrower!” Charizard opens his mouth and shoots a large line of flames at Glaceon.

“Glaceon, Double Team.” Glaceon splits into ten images of itself. The flame hits one and the image disappears.

“Charizard, hit all the images with a continuous Flamethrower.” Charizard spits fire from its mouth and turns as it aims at the images. Each image disappears and Charizard stops. “What?!”

“I learned this from you, Ash. Glaceon, Ice Fang.” Glaceon dives towards Charizard from above and bites Charizard’s throat. The area around the bite is coated by a thin layer of ice. Charizard roars in pain and begins to rampage; Glaceon lets go and lands easily on its feet.

“Charizard, get rid of the ice with Heat Wave!” Charizard stops rampaging and lets out a huge roar; the air in the arena gets very hot. The ice melts off and Glaceon begins to cringe from the heat. “Charizard, while Glaceon is hurting! Use Eruption!” Charizard roars and giant balls of fire fly from its mouth in every direction. The audience that is lower in the stands screams and has to quickly move to not get hit and the referee has to dodge many of the fire balls. Charizard aims its head toward Glaceon and a large meteor erupts from its mouth; it flies towards Glaceon at high speeds.

“Glaceon, protect!” Glaceon let out a small cry and a clear green shield appeared in front of its body and deflected the meteor to the side; the meteor hits the wall of the battle field and exploded, destroying a portion of the wall. “Now, Glaceon use Blizzard!” Glaceon screamed and the air got very cold and a gust of snow appeared out of nowhere and consumed the field.

“I can’t see anything… Charizard are you doing alright?” Ash yells into the invisible field. Charizard roars in response. “Alright, use Blast Burn and finish this!” Charizard curls his arms, legs, tail, wings, and head into a ball. Finally, Charizard releases his limbs and flails out while roaring. Fire bursts from him in every direction, clearing the blizzard and hitting Glaceon with full force. The fire dissipates and leaves the field singed; smoke rises from every corner of the field. Glaceon is lying on the ground, burnt and completely unconscious.

“Glaceon is unable to battle!” the referee yells while coughing from the smoke. Goliath, covering his mouth with his cloak, recalls Glaceon into its Pokéball. Charizard turns to Ash with a happy look on its face and accidentally shoots a flame at Ash in its excitement. Ash jumps out of the way and laughs while covering his mouth with his jacket.

“Ninetales, it is time.” Goliath grabbed a Pokéball from his belt and released Ninetales. “Use Will- o- Wisp.” Ninetales made an eerie noise and five small blue flames appear rotating around its body. Suddenly, one of the flames starts to move slowly towards Charizard.

“Charizard, fly up in the air to dodge it!” Charizard flaps its wings and shoots into the air like a bullet but the flame follows it. “Charizard it can’t move very fast; just stay ahead of it!”

“Don’t be so sure Ash. Ninetales release them!” Ninetales makes that same eerie noise and all five flames streak towards Charizard with incredible speed; they look like blue lines moving through the air. Charizard is hit by all five of them immediately and is set on fire with blue flames. Charizard roars in pain and falls to the ground.

Damn! Will-o Wisp can still hurt Charizard really bad because it’s ghost fire! Ash screams in his head. “Charizard, try and stand up!” Charizard struggles to get up from the burning pain but manages to stand. “Charizard, Seismic Toss!” Charizard runs towards Nintales while still flaming.

“Ninetales, Agility.” Ninetales pounces and moves faster than the eye can see. “Dark Pulse.” Ninetales appears right next to Charizard, whose face was riddled with pain and fear, and released an explosion of black energy. Charizard is knocked to the ground fast and hard, completely unconscious.

“Charizard is unable to battle!” the referee decrees. Ash recalls Charizard to its Pokéball. Ash unclips a Pokéball from his belt and throws it into the air. A large otter like Pokémon appears on the field.

“Floatzel, Aqua Jet!” Floatzel launches itself towards Ninetales while surrounding itself with water. Ninetales doesn’t have any time to dodge and they hit each other square in the head. Ninetales is knocked back and skids along the field, soaking wet and in pain. Floatzel lands on its feet easily and gracefully. “Floatzel follow it up with Water Pulse!” Floatzel holds its palms over each other and a small blue orb that looks like rushing water appears. Floatzel pushes the orb towards Ninetales and the orb flies towards Ninetales quickly.

“Ninetales, use Swagger!” Ninetales closes its eyes and sighs as if it’s bored. The Water Pulse hits Ninetales and sends it flying backwards but Ninetales continues to sigh, impacting a wall. Floatzel gets a really angry expression on its face.

“Huh?” Ash looks at Floatzel. “Floatzel! Don’t fall for it! Keep your cool!” Floatzel doesn’t hear him. Floatzel charges at Ninetales who jumps out of the way just in time. Floatzel crashes its head into the wall behind Ninetales and staggers backwards. “Floatzel are you alright?!” Floatzel has his hands on his head and has a combination of pain and anger in his expression.

“Ninetales, use Fire Blast.” Ninetales, cringing from the pain and barely able to stand, fires a large flame shaped like a person at Floatzel. Floatzel can’t dodge and is hit hard but Ninetales falls to the ground from exhaustion. Floatzel is knocked to the ground and falls completely unconscious.

“Both Pokémon are unable to continue!” the referee yells. Both of them recall their Pokémon. Goliath unclips his last Pokéball from his belt. Ash looks at Pikachu and nods. Pikachu leaps onto the field.

“Pikachu was your first Pokémon, right Ash?” Golaith asks. Ash nods and Pikachu tenses up. “Well I’ve raised this Pokémon since it hatched. This was my first Pokémon as well.” He held the Pokéball out in front of him. “It is time… my old friend.” The ball opened and in a flash of light an odd blue Pokémon appeared on the battle field.

“Woooobbuffet!” the Pokémon yells in a very strange and awkward voice.

“A Wobbuffet?” Ash says surprised. “Umm… Ok… Thunderbolt!” Pikachu tenses its muscles and a flash of yellow light shoots out from it and streaks through the air towards Wobbuffet.

“Mirror Coat.” Wobbuffet glows pink and the lightning bolt stops right in front of it and reverses direction back towards Pikachu. The bolt hits Pikachu with double the intensity it started with but Pikachu seems unfazed.

“What?! This is going to be tough… Ok then I’ll try a physical attack! Quick Attack!” Pikachu runs towards Wobbuffet with incredible speed.

“Counter.” Wobuffet glows blue and Pikachu is lifted into the air right in front of Wobuffet and sent flying backwards, hitting the arena wall.

“No!” Ash runs over to Pikachu. “Pikachu are you alright?” Ash asks concerned. Pikachu groans but hops on its feet immediately. “Alright, if he can stop any attack we throw at him then we will have to paralyze it first. Thunderwave.” Pikachu runs back to the field with Ash and Pikachu jumps in front of him. Small blue electric sparks fly out of Pikachu’s red cheeks; a small bolt rushes towards Wobbuffet.

“Safeguard.” Wobbuffet glows white and the bolt dissipates as it hits Wobbuffet.

“What?! How can we beat this thing?! Keep attacking with anything you can, Pikachu!” Ash yells in disbelief as he sees all of Pikachu’s attacks get deflected. “Is it even possible?!” Pikachu, now exhausted and in pain, lies on the ground while breathing heavily. “Pikachu!” Ash runs over to the small Pokémon and tries to pick it up but Pikachu sparks electricity to stop him. “You… You want to keep fighting?” Ash says in disbelief of the resilience of his Pikachu. “But… you’re in pain… you should stop!” Pikachu ferociously shakes his head.

“Pika! Pikachu!” Pikachu yells loudly and angrily at Ash.

“You’re not giving up… And neither am I!” Ash yells with a new feeling of confidence. “Alright Pikachu! Use Volt Tackle with everything you’ve got!” Pikachu lets out a high pitched roar and rushes at Wobbuffet surrounded by a massive electric aura. The sparks from the electric attack hit the light posts in the stadium and cause them to short circuit and shut down. The only light in the stadium is Pikachu’s huge aura rushing towards Wobbuffet.

“Wobbuffet! Counter!” Wobbuffet glows blue; Pikachu collides with Wobbuffet. The two are still, both forces pushing against each other. Finally the energy between the two attacks releases and there is a massive explosion. The entire stadium is consumed in smoke and dust. People are coughing, children are screaming, and Medics start rushing out of the stadium doors to aid people. Three minutes of chaos pass and the stadium is empty except for Ash, Goliath, the referee, and Ash’s companions.

The smoke begins to clear.
__________________
"Oh Captain my Captain"

Last edited by Lukespade; November 20th, 2008 at 05:11 PM.
  #5    
Old November 20th, 2008, 03:20 PM
An-chan's Avatar
An-chan
Whoops.
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Finland
Age: 23
This really looks a lot better now. Congratulations on the good decision of revising your fic! I spotted some spelling mistakes and a few missing commas, but I'll leave the thorough reviewing to someone more skilled than me *summons POB or Xanthine or Blue Angel or...* And I don't know whether it's because of the improved grammar or if you've modified this a bit further, but I think this fic is now generally more well-written. The fight scene is a lot more exciting now.

Keep this up! You're doing fine!
__________________

Fanfiction:Mama's Boy|World Saviour Sora-chan (parody)|
One shots: The Elevator|Once in a Forest Fire|

I'm currently more reachable at The BBS.
You should come, too. We have cookies. No, seriously!
  #6    
Old November 23rd, 2008, 09:44 AM
Lukespade's Avatar
Lukespade
Poke'mon Author
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Wisconsin
Gender:
Nature: Relaxed
As the smoke clears, Pikachu and Wobbuffet appear to have been blown to opposite sides of the battle field. Pikachu, standing in front of Ash, and Wobbuffet, standing in front of Goliath, are both exhausted but still standing.

“Pikachu!” Ash yells as he sees his Pokémon barely able to keep conscious.

“Wobbuffet, can you continue?” Goliath says calmly yet with concern in his voice. Wobbuffet tries to stand straight up in its usual stance but cannot. “Hmmm… It seems you’ll be going down soon. Alright then, Destiny Bond!”

“What?!” a black aura appears around Wobbuffet and a pitch black shadow appears underneath it. The shadow begins to slowly move towards Pikachu. “Pikachu! You’ve got to stay away from it!” Pikachu tries to run out of its path but cannot move because of its injuries. It drops to its knees and is immobilized. “No!”

“So… It seems that this is it. If my Wobbuffet can hold out long enough to reach your Pikachu with Destiny Bond it will be a tie and by default I will win. However, if my Wobbuffet falls before the Destiny Bond reaches Pikachu… You will be the winner.”

“Pikachu! We’ve got to stop Wobbuffet! Thunderbolt!” Pikachu tenses up and tries to release energy but fails to do so from its exhaustion. Ash’s face goes from concerned to horrified. “Pikachu!” Pikachu, now nearly unconscious uses all its might to stay standing. Ash calms down. “Then we wait.”

The shadow moves very slowly across the field. When the shadow reaches the center of the field, and half way between Wobbuffet and Pikachu, Wobbuffet begins to tremble violently. Pikachu, Ash, Goliath, and all Ash’s companions watch intently as the shadow continues to move towards Pikachu.

As the shadow comes to three fourths of the way there, Wobbuffet starts the fall to the ground. Its face smacks into the ground but the shadow continues to move towards Pikachu.

“That’s one powerful Wobbuffet. Even while unable to stand, it is able to continue to focus its attack.” Ash grits his teeth in the tension. “Pikachu, are you doing alright? How much strength have you gained back from waiting?” Pikachu, breathing hard, nods to Ash in confidence. “Alright then… Try a small Thunder Bolt and see if you can slow it down!” Pikachu produces a small amount of electricity and shoots it in a bolt towards Wobbuffet. Wobbuffet is impacted by the attack and the shadow slows down a little, however Pikachu uses up nearly all its energy and now cannot move, attack, or even speak.

The shadow is now right in front of Pikachu, only inches away.

“This looks like the end.” Goliath says calmly. Ash lowers his head.

“Don’t give up Ash! We’re all here cheering for you!” Misty screams at the top of her lungs from the stands.

“Pikachu, don’t forget all the work you’ve done!” Brock yells in support.

“You can’t lose! You just can’t!” May screams in her dramatic voice.

“Come on Pikachu! I’ve seen you get out of tougher situations than this!” Max yells with excitement and frustration in his voice.

“Ash, you can do it! Besides, I’m counting on getting a sketch of you as the champion!” Tracey yells excitedly.

“You won against Cynthia! You can win against this guy!” Dawn screeches.

“Ash, Pikachu! I’m so proud of you both and I know you can do it!” Mrs. Ketchum yells. “Your father is proud to!”

“Hey Ashy boy!” Gary yells in his nasally and cocky voice. “If you don’t win this, I’ll never be able to forgive myself for losing to you!” Ash gets angry.

“Why you!” Ash, now supercharged with confidence, and Pikachu, also supercharged spring up. “Pikachu! Give it everything you got! Thunder!” Pikachu lets out a vicious cry and the sky begins to churn with dark clouds in the night sky. Sparks of electricity pulsate in the sky; the shadow of Destiny Bond is almost completely underneath Pikachu.

“Piiiiiiiiiii… Kaaaaaaaaaa… Chuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!” a massive bolt of lighting falls from the sky at incredible speeds and impacts Wobbuffet. The light fills all of Indigo Plateau and the spectators, who escaped the stadium, watch in awe of the raw power. The shadow disappears right before it reaches its target. Wobbuffet, now at the bottom of around seven foot crater, is completely and utterly unconscious.

“Wobbuffet is unable to battle! The winner and new champion of the Pokémon world is Ash Ketchum from Pallet Town!” the referee yells. Spectators, now interested to see how that small Pikachu performed that massive Thunder, cheer as they fill back into the stadium. Ash’s companions come running down into the field as fast as they could. Ash runs over to Pikachu and picks it up.

“You did amazing Pikachu.” Ash says softly, tears coming to his eyes. “You… You are my best friend.” Pikachu chirps happily and falls asleep. Goliath recalls Wobbuffet into its Pokéball and smiles.

“Excellent job Wobbuffet.” Goliath calmly says and starts to walk over to Ash. Misty gets to him first and embraces him in a massive hug.

“I’m so proud of you Ash! I can’t believe you’re the same kid I meant ten years ago!” Misty says in a high voice, crying. She lets go and smiles at Ash. Brock gets to him next.

“Ash!” Brock yells as he runs up to his friend. “You did it man! You did it!” Brock gives Ash a high five and puts his hand on Ash’s shoulder. “All these years of hard work and sweat have totally paid off.” May and Max run up at the same time and get right up next to Ash, Ash has to back off a little, almost dropping Pikachu.

“Wow Ash! You’re awesome I want to be just like you someday!” Max yells like he’d just met his childhood hero. “I can’t wait until I get good enough to take over my dad’s gym!”

“Oh, Ash! You were awesome! That battle was amazing!” May screeches like an excited school girl. “I can’t believe you really won!” Dawn gets there next.

“First May wins the Grand Festival and now you become champion! I’m totally winning it all this year!” Dawn yells with excitement and anticipation.

“Hold on Ash. I want to get a sketch of this.” Tracey starts to scribble in his sketch book.

“Wow, Ashy Boy. You really did it. You really have become a talented trainer. It almost makes me want to take up training again just so I can battle you.” Gary smirks but still reflects major respect towards Ash. “My Grandpa would be proud Ash.” Ash nods confidently and happily.

“Hey… where’d my mom go?” Ash asks starting to search for his mother. They all look around and notice Mrs. Ketchum walking over to Goliath, who was walking towards Ash. “What’s she doing?” Mrs. Ketchum and Goliath stop when they meat each other and seem to start talking. Finally, they start moving over towards the rest of them.

“Ash! I’m so very proud of you; you’re the best boy a mother could have!” Mrs. Ketchum runs over and embraces Ash and Pikachu in a vicious and, by the look of Ash’s face, painful hug. She releases him and looks into his eyes with happiness. “I’ve got someone to introduce you to.” Goliath walks up.

“That was an excellent battle. I’m proud to give you this medallion.” Goliath pulls a medallion out of his cloak. The medallion is designed like a Master Ball. “This is the medallion that proves you are the Pokémon World Champion.” He places it around Ash’s neck and the audience roars. “Congratulations.”

“Thank you. I promise I will uphold your reputation!” Ash replies confidently. Ash turns to his mother. “So who did you want to introduce me to Mom?”

“Oh yes.” Mrs. Ketchum turns to Goliath. “Please remove your hood.”

“Delia… Are you sure?” Goliath says a little nervous.

“What?! You know my mom?!” Mrs. Ketchum scowls at Goliath.

“Alright.” Goliath turns to Ash. “I ought to know your mother.” He pulls his hood off. Ash and his friends gasp.

“He… He looks just like…” Misty gasps as she says. However, Gary seems unsurprised. Goliath looked exactly like an older version of Ash, except he had a small goatee and much less hair.

“Wait a minute… I know you… You’re my dad!” Ash says in disbelief. “I knew you were a Pokémon trainer but… I didn’t know you were the champion! Then, the Pokémon match I was watching ten years ago the night before I started my journey… That was you?!” Goliath nods. “Mom, why didn’t you ever tell me?!”

“I couldn’t Ash. We have our reasons.” Delia replies calmly. “Now everyone, let’s all go back to Pallet town for a party!” Nobody says anything; they are all still stunned from the knowledge of Goliath. Finally, Ash snaps out of it.

“Oh, I forgot!” Ash hands Pikachu to Mrs. Ketchum and Pikachu squirms in its sleep. Ash shuffles through his pocket and pulls out a small black box. He walks up to Misty. “Misty, I have a very important question to ask you… We’ve been friends for a long time. The first time we ever really got separated was when you had to go back to Cerulean. It took for ever for me to get over that and I missed you everyday. When we started journeying together again, it was the happiest day of my life and during that time I realized that I want to spend my entire life with you.” Ash kneels to the ground, Misty begins to tear up. “Misty… would you marry me?” He opens the box and a small, very shiny ring lay inside. He holds the ring up to her and tenses up in anticipation.

“Ash… I… I will!” Misty softly says. “I… I’ve never been able to say this to you openly before Ash but… I love you.” Ash’s friends all start to tear up, even Gary. Ash’s mother burst into tears of happiness and clamps on to Goliath, who is having trouble breathing. Ash stands up excitedly with tears in his eyes he and Misty kiss. The kiss lasted a long time and the entire audience is crying and cheering through it all. Misty and Ash are going to be married.

__________________
"Oh Captain my Captain"
  #7    
Old November 25th, 2008, 09:48 AM
Lukespade's Avatar
Lukespade
Poke'mon Author
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Wisconsin
Gender:
Nature: Relaxed
The sun shines brightly down from the clear blue sky on a teenage boy wearing a blue headband, jacket, and jeans. Dangling from his jeans is a chain with a ying- yang medallion connected to it. He is walking through a small town towards a round roofed house with a windmill on top of a hill. He hears laughter, talking, and music coming from behind the house.

“Something is really happening in Pallet Town today.” The boy says curious to what the party is all about. He treads up the hill toward the house and comes to the door, ringing the door bell. Nobody answers and he decides to walk around back to where all the commotion is. He comes upon a big group of people and Pokémon. They are all talking, playing, dancing to music. Streamers and party stuff is everywhere and, hanging from the back of the big house is a large white banner that says “Congratulations Ash!” in big red letters. “I wonder what they are congratulating him for.”

“Oh! You must be Seth! Seth Elwood correct?” a man with dark brown hair, wearing a lab coat and holding a sketch book walks over to him.

“Uhh… Yeah. Are you Professor Tracey?” Seth replies.

“Yes I am; I almost forgot you were coming today. Tracey Sketchit is the name!” Tracey holds out his hand to shake Seth’s. Seth shakes his hand firmly and starts to look around the field. “So… who’s Ash and what are we congratulating him for?”

“What?! Wow… When you said you were from far away and didn’t know much about the rest of the world you meant it!” Tracey gasps in surprised. “Ash Ketchum! He’s the new Pokémon world champion, and a personal friend of mine. I’ll introduce you!”

Tracey leads Seth over to a crowd of people all chattering, and some girls moaning in disbelief of Ash and Misty’s decision to get married. They have to squeeze through a lot of people to get to Ash and Misty. They are sitting at a table with a few other people including Mrs. Ketchum, Goliath, and Gary Oak.

“So mom and dad, why couldn’t you guys tell me that dad was the champion?” Ash asks curiously hoping to find out. Misty notices Gary and Goliath shoot a glance at each other.

“You’ll find out soon enough Ash.” Goliath responded in a bit of a reflective tone. “But this is not the time for that. This is a time of celebration and, in your mother and my case, pride in our son.” Pikachu hops up onto the table and runs over to Goliath. “This Pikachu of yours is pretty powerful and very loyal.” Goliath pets Pikachu on the head and Pikachu enjoys it.

“Yeah, we’ve been best friends from the day we first met.”

“Don’t forget Ash, Pikachu at first didn’t even like you.” Misty teases. Ash blushes and so does Pikachu.

“Yeah, well uhh…” Everyone laughed. Tracey and Seth finally manage to squeeze through.

“Hey guys!” Tracey sort of announces.

“Hey Tracey, what’s up?” Misty replies. She then notices that Goliath and Gary both shot glances at the boy standing next to Tracey and he shot them back. “Who’s that?” She says suspiciously.

“That’s actually what I came over here for. This is Seth Elwood; he’s a new trainer starting today.”

“You look a little old to start training now.” Ash says in confusion. Misty smacks him the head.

“Be more polite!” She says in her short tempered voice. Ash rubs his head in embarrassment and annoyance.

“There perfect for each other.” Mrs. Ketchum says happily.

“Yeah, just like we were.” Goliath responds and they both laugh.

“Yeah… I decided to start at fifteen because… because I had work to do at home.” Seth replies hastily.

“Work? What kind of work?” Ash asks curiously.

“So Seth, it has been a long time.” Gary cuts in diverting the conversation.

“Yeah… I guess it has.”

“You two know each other?” Ash, Misty, and Tracey all blurt out simultaneously.

“I met him a few years ago while I was conducting some research.” Gary explains. “…in the Sevant Region.”

“Sevant Region? Where is that?” Ash asks.

“It’s where my home town is; it’s actually quite a small region, about four hundred miles north of Sinnoh.” Seth describes.

“Wow, it must be cold there.” Mrs. Ketchum says out of the blue.

“It can get pretty cold; but it’s one of the most beautiful places in the world.” Goliath also cuts in.

“You’ve been there to dad?!” Ash exclaims. “I’ve never even heard of these places.

“Ashy boy, there’s a lot of places you’ve never heard of. What about the Orre Region, Fiore Region, and the Almia Region?” Gary smirks.

“What? I’ve never heard of any of those places.” Ash says a little disappointed that he’s out of the loop.

“Don’t worry Ash, I’ve never heard of them either!” Misty and Mrs. Ketchum say simultaneously. Everyone laughs except Ash who just sulks comically.

“Now back to the task at hand.” Tracey interjects. “Seth is here to start his first Pokémon journey. I wanted to introduce him to you because he doesn’t even know who you are Ash and you’re the best trainer around!”

“Well I…” Ash says embarrassed.

“Professor Tracey said that you are the world champion right now.” Seth says interested.

“Well I am but… I’ve been at it for ten years so…” Ash can’t get the words out; he is too embarrassed.

“Trust me Seth, if this was ten years ago he wouldn’t stop telling everyone how he won.” Misty says teasingly again. Ash spins around and waves his arms to get her to shut up. She ignores him. “He really was a hot head and an immature kid back then. Now he’s just a hot head and an immature adult!” Ash fumes angrily but sighs because he knows she won; Misty smiles.

“Are these two brother and sister or something?” Seth whispers to Tracey.

“No, they’re getting married.” Tracey whispers back. Seth makes an “are you nuts” face at Tracey. “Don’t worry; they love each other very much. This is just the way they’ve always shown it.” Seth shrugs in confusion and a slight amount of disbelief. “Anyways, let’s get you your supplies.” Tracey speaks up.

“We’ll go to!” Ash and the others at the table get up to walk with them to the lab. The crowd around them breaks up. As they approach the lab they notice a crowd around the field to the side of the lab.

“What’s going on over there?” Seth asks Tracey.

“Let’s go find out.” Tracey beckons them all to walk over to the crowd. They squeeze through to the front.

“This battle between May and Max is about to begin!” Brock yells between May and Max facing each other.

“You can win this Max! Show your sister that she isn’t as tough as she says she is.” Dawn whispers with vigor to Max while standing behind him.

“Looks like May and Max had an argument again.” Ash sighs. “And Dawn must’ve gotten in on it.”

“Begin!” Brock yells.

“Blaziken, go!” May yells hurling a Pokéball into the air.

“I may have not been a trainer for as long as you, May, but I’m not going to lose! Marshtomp, it’s your turn!” Max throws a Pokéball up. Both Marshtomp and Blaziken appear on the field facing each other. “Besides… I’ve got the advantage! Both water and ground are strong against fire.”

“Type doesn’t determine everything. You’d think you’d have learned that by now you little nerd!” May yells attempting to rile up her brother.

“Are they getting married to?” Seth asks Tracey dumbly.

“No! Those two are brother and sister!” Tracey responds laughing.

“This ought to be good. Max and May have never battled before!” Ash says excitedly.

“Blaziken, Blaze Kick!” May yells.

“Marshstomp, Double Team!” Max yells. I’ll start by building up defense and evasion! Max thinks to him self. Marshstomp splits into ten images of itself and surrounds Blaziken. Blaziken creates a flame around its foot and kicks one of the images. The image disappears.

“Blaziken, Detect!” Blaziken closes its eyes and focuses. It turns around viciously. “Now, Flamethrower!” Blaziken opens its mouth and spits out a long flame towards one of the images. The flame hits Marshstomp and all the images disappear leaving only the burnt one hit by the flame. Marshstomp is knocked to the ground and cringes from the pain but stands back up again.

“What?!” Max yells surprised. “How?!”

“Not so tough now are you?” May says tauntingly. “Alright Blaziken finish this, Close Combat!” Blaziken lunges towards Marshstomp.
__________________
"Oh Captain my Captain"
  #8    
Old November 25th, 2008, 09:08 PM
afroquackster's Avatar
afroquackster
SAY WHAT!? Deviantart!
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: in a pile of ****
Gender:
Nature: Relaxed
cool! but this story has an origin and i won't tell you!I am serious. i saw something like this about 3 years ago but no dawn......
__________________
SAVE THE PLANET!

I HATE YOU.
--
NEW PROJECT: POKEMON DAWN's GATE and POKEMON DUSK's GATE. http://www.pokecommunity.com/showthread.php?t=175050
--
EVER HEARD OF DEVIANTART?
http://afroquackster.deviantart.com/
  #9    
Old November 27th, 2008, 03:33 PM
Lukespade's Avatar
Lukespade
Poke'mon Author
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Wisconsin
Gender:
Nature: Relaxed
Blaziken jumps right next to Marshstomp and releases a flurry a punches and kicks. Marshstomp gets hit by every one and falls to the ground.

“Marshstomp!” Max yells running over to his Pokémon. “Are you alright?! Get up! You have to!” Marshstomp is completely unconscious and doesn’t even stir. How could she have won?! Ground and water are both super effective against fire! Max screams in his head.

“Through out all of your travels you still don’t get it, do you? Not everything happens by the book Max!” May teasingly but wisely says. She softens her face and walks over to Max. “Now… how’s your Marshstomp?” She bends down and reaches for Max’s shoulder to support him. Max brushes her away with his arm.

“I don’t need your help! You always think you’re better just because you’re older!” Max screams angrily at his sister. Max stands up and runs over towards the laboratory. Marshstomp starts to wake up and looks frantically for Max; it stands up and runs after him.

“I guess some things never change.” May sighs.

“Poor kid.” Seth says in a spacey voice. He starts to walk after Max.

“Seth, where are you going?” Gary asks in an annoyed voice.

“I’m going to go talk to that kid.” Seth replies in the same spacey voice.

“There are more important things to do!” Gary yells back in an angry voice. Goliath puts his hand on Gary’s shoulder. Gary looks at him in surprise.

“Let him be, it’ll be good for Max.” Goliath says wisely.

“But Mas… I mean Goliath; he has to get going; it’s important!” Gary replies seemingly frazzled. Ash, Misty, and Tracey stare confused at their conversation.

“Do you guys know each other from somewhere?” Ash asks suspiciously. Gary’s whole body stiffens.

“Uhh… Well… We…” Gary tries to get some words out skipping after each word.

“Well, they were going to find out eventually.” Goliath sighs. The crowd around are all looking at them in confusion. Goliath notices this and immediately raises his voice. “It’s alright everyone! Return to the party! We all just have to have a quick talk in the lab!” The people in the crowd shrug and return to their merriment. “May and Dawn you come as well.” May and Dawn shrug and start walking over. They meat up with each other and instantly turn their backs to each other.

“You know May. You’re brother is right about you; all you ever care about is how much older you are then us!” Dawn says with a serious attitude. “You even do it to me and I’m only three years younger than you! You’re always like ‘to be good in a contest, you need blah blah blah…’ it can get really annoying!”

“I’m just trying to help you kids. Besides, maybe if you were a little more intelligent you would have an easier time with things!” May replies with equally as much attitude. Gary and Goliath stare nervously at the two fighting girls.

“Are they always like this?” Gary asks Ash.

“Not always; but when they get in an argument, it’s usually vicious. Same thing goes for Max and May but Max stills gets a little childish about it as you can see.” Ash responds with out a shred of worry in his voice. “Don’t worry about it. They’ll make up eventually.”

“Hmmm… Kind of reminds me of us when we were kids. Eh?” Gary says smirking; Ash laughs and nods.


* * * *


Seth searches through the different rooms looking for Max. Finally, he walks into the Pokéball storage room and sees him curled up and sitting against the wall.

“Hey there!” Seth blurts out in a carefree voice. Max jumps to his feat, a little frightened. Max whirls around and looks at Seth weirdly.

“Uhh… Hi…” Max snivels and wipes his eyes of tears. “Who are you?” Max says still crying a little.

“The name is Seth… Seth Elwood. How about you, what’s your name?” Seth replies walking over to him and kneeling down to Max’s level.

“Umm… My name is Max Ennoh.” Max replies still sniveling. He looks down on the floor as he talks.

“That was a pretty cool battle; but your Marshstomp is looking for you.” Seth says calmly.

“I’ll bet it’s running away. If I can’t even win against a fire Pokémon with Marshstomp, why would it ever want to be trained by me?” Max says starting to cry again.

“Don’t say that. You know that isn’t true. Marshstomp is right here.” Marshstomp steps around the corner and happily runs up to Max.

“Marshstomp! You’re okay!” Marshstomp jumps on Max and smiled happily down on him; Max laughs.

“See? Marshstomp was worried about you.” Max nods while hugging Marshstomp. Seth stands up. “Well looks like everything's all better now. Let’s go see the others!” Max and Marshstomp stand up and all three of them walk out into the hall. Ash and the others are all walking down the hall as they walk out.

“Max!” May screeches and runs up to Max. “Don’t just go running off like that!” Max turns his back to May and folds his arms. “What? You think I’m too young to be going off on my own?” Max says unhappily. Blaziken and Marshstomp start to talk and seem to decide on something. Blaziken gets May’s attention and tries to tell it something. Marshstomp does the same to Max.

“Looks like your Pokémon want you two to make up.” Seth says in his carefree voice. Blaziken and Marshstomp turn their heads and nod.

“Really Marshstomp; you want me to make up with May?” Max asks confused.

“I really don’t think that your Pokémon like it when you fight.” Ash says walking over to them. “You two are brother and sister so, in a way, I think that Blaziken and Marshstomp feel like siblings.” May and Max stare at Blaziken and Marshstomp and the two Pokémon nod.

“Well… Okay… May, I’m sorry I got so angry. I know you were just trying to help.” Max says looking at the ground.

“It’s okay Max. I’m sorry to. I guess I could be a little less arrogant when talking to you.” May smiles and hugs Max. “I guess I should say sorry to you to Dawn. I was a little arrogant when talking to you as well.”

“Wha?!” Dawn jumps a little startled. “Well… If I wasn’t such a hot head some times… I guess I’m sorry to.”

“Well this is just wonderful; but we need to explain something to you guys.” Goliath says calmly. Gary turns his head towards him.

“Are you sure? Is it really a good idea?” Gary asks nervously and seemingly stressed out. Goliath nods happily.

“We should all introduce ourselves to Seth though.” Goliath says. They all walk into the small living room in the lab and sit down on the couches and chairs.

“Well I guess I’ll start. My name is Seth Elwood. I’m from Origin town in the Sevant region.” Seth says with a spacey look on his face.

“Hi! I’m Ash Ketchum.” Ash blurts out.

“Misty Aquarian.” Misty says happily sitting next to Ash.

“Delia Ketchum, Ash’s mom.” Mrs. Ketchum says sweetly.

“Brock Bouldersh is the name! How’s it going?” Brock says.

“I’m May Ennoh. This is my brother Max.” May says pointing at Max.

“We’ve met. It’s good to meet you May.” Seth responds.

“You already know me, Tracey Sketchit.” Tracey blurts out, Seth nods. He notices Dawn standing there looking shy.

“What’s your name pretty girl?” Seth says addressing Dawn.

“Oh!” Dawn says surprised of being addressed. “My name is Dawn Shionn.” Dawn blushes.

“It’s nice to meet you!” Seth replies in his carefree voice. Misty and May glance at each other and both let out a small, high pitched chuckle.

“So dad… How do you know Seth? And even more so; how do you know Gary?” Ash asks confused of the situation.

“Well Ash, that’s what we brought all of you in here to explain.” Goliath announces.

“I really don’t think it’s a good idea.” Gary sighs in a disapproving tone. “It could ruin all of our plans! Who knows what might happen between now and when it happens!” Gary starts to argue with Goliath. Goliath shoots a sharp look at Gary. Gary immediately bows his head. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. I will respect your judgment… Master.”

“Master?!” Ash blurts out in surprise. “Why’d you call him that?!”

“Well Ash, it’s because Master Ketchum, Gary Oak, and I all belong to the same secret organization.” Seth cuts in. Everyone’s attention turns to him. “It’s called the Order of the Legends and it just so happens that your dad is the leader.”

“What?!” Ash gasps. “The leader; what’s the Order of the Legends anyways?! Did you know about this mom?” Mrs. Ketchum nods. “Why didn’t you ever tell me?!”

“You’ll understand that soon son.” Goliath says. “However, it will be easier for you to understand if you know how the Order started before we explain what it is and why we couldn’t tell you.” Goliath turns to Gary. “You know the story well Gary. Why don’t you tell them?” Gary nods respectfully.

“Alright… well you see it started about one thousand years ago…” Gary begins and everyone is staring intently on him.
__________________
"Oh Captain my Captain"

Last edited by Lukespade; November 27th, 2008 at 03:42 PM.
  #10    
Old November 30th, 2008, 04:07 PM
Lukespade's Avatar
Lukespade
Poke'mon Author
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Wisconsin
Gender:
Nature: Relaxed
To maintain the balance of this world, to ensure its protection, to promote the prevalence of nature, and solidify a peaceful reality: that is the Order. “ Gary recites. “It’s a fraise all members are required to memorize and look to guidance for in everything we do. The ideals of the Order are that humans and Pokémon live peacefully together without corruption or greed; without war or pain.” Everyone in the room listens quietly to what Gary is saying. “That is the oath of the Order of the Legends.”

“So… what does this have to do with Seth?” Dawn asks strangely interested.

“You’ll understand soon. However, first I must explain how the Order began.” Gary responds. “We follow these guidelines at all times however this is not the main function of the Order. You see, every one thousand years a very important event happens: the Legendary Pokémon of the world gather in one place called the Shrine of Legends.”

“I’ve never heard of a place like that. Where is it?” Brock asks.

“It’s in the Sevant Region… at the heart of Mt. Millennia.” Gary responds. “Origin town is at the foot of Mt. Millennia and is currently the base of the Order of the Legends. However, it was not always the Order that dwelled there. One thousand years ago an evil organization was based there.”

“I don’t understand… why was the organization there and why do the Legendaries gather?” Ash asks completely confused.

“They gather… to choose one human to have the power of Arceus.” Gary responds but with reluctance.

“Arceus?! The Creator?!” Max gasps. Ash, Misty, Brock, Tracey and Max are all stunned.

“Who’s Arceus?” May asks.

“Arceus is the God Pokémon. Said to have created the universe and also said to have unlimited power.” Goliath responds.

“It’s one powerful Pokémon.” Seth submits his slice of wisdom.

“So… the organization must have wanted Arceus’s power.” Tracey states astutely.

“Actually no; the organization had no knowledge of the shrine at all. The reason they were based there was because that is the only place in the world that the legendaries are seen often.” Gary explains. “When the day finally came that the legendaries chose the holder of Arceus’s power, the organization learned of the shrine and why it was there. They snuck into the shrine as Arceus arrived and bestowed upon the man its power. After learning the identity of the man they assaulted his family and kidnapped his son and wife. The man returned home to find them gone. For ten years he searched as he changed the world with his power. In the mean time, the organization held the family captive until they decided that the man had completely mastered his power. They sent a letter to the man stating that they had found his family. The letter was a trap. The man fell for that trap. When he arrived at the base he was ambushed. The organization had trained their Pokémon to attack humans and Pokémon with utter cruelty. He was subdued immediately from the surprise. He was about to use his power to escape when the leader came towards him and threatened to kill his family if he resisted. The leader showed the man that his family was alive but had been in prison for all this time. The leader said that he must help them take over the world or the family dies. The man submitted only after the leader tortured his family in front of his eyes. The leader had barely kept them alive for ten years. The man was forced to enslave the world that he created. The organization used his power to gain control of the world’s Pokémon and enslaved the humans. For a short period of time, the world was under this organization’s control. However, one day the man’s wife was able to break free of her cell and went to see the man who was in a cell as well. The wife begged the man to stop these criminals no matter what happens to them but the man said he couldn’t bare to see his family die or in pain. Just as he was saying that a guard found the wife and beat her profusely for being out of her cell. The man pleaded with the guard to stop but the guard wouldn’t. The guard decided it would be fun to show the wife and husband how he would kill their child. He grabbed the in pain but sleeping child and skewered him on a stake. The man and wife cried out and the man began to release some of his power hoping to heal the mortally injured child. The man was screaming that they’d gone against the deal, but it turned out that the guard was drunk. However, the boy could not be healed and appeared to be dead. The wife was in shock and began to rampage in screaming and loathing for these people. She grabbed one of the guard’s blades and slit her own throat. There, in front of the man, was his family… dead. The man became enraged he released all his power in one fell swoop he broke out his cell and killed all the guards in brilliant flashes of light. He no longer had any sense, no remorse. He killed everyone whether they were slave or member. He also killed all the Pokémon he encountered. The legendaries appeared and attempted to stop him but could not. He crushed them all with in an inch of death. Only a small amount of Pokémon and humans were left, one of them was the leader of the organization and the man with the power turned to them. He was so enraged he didn’t care who he killed but he was going to make the leader pay. He began to step forward and generated an orb that he was going to kill them all with. However, just as he was about to fire his attack he heard a cry. He turned to see that his child was still alive. He dropped what he was doing and ran to his child who was in incredible pain. He began to attempt to heal the toddler with his power. He managed to heal him and laid him to rest on a nearby bed. The rest of the survivors made their way towards him. The leader dropped to the ground praying for forgiveness. The man looked down at him and then looked at what he had done. He said these words ‘Although what you have done is unforgivable… I have sinned just as you have. I will spare you, for I have now realized that pain and suffering cannot incur proper payment for pain and suffering.’ The leader burst into tears and swore that he would do all he could in his power to revive the world that he had destroyed. The man with the power forgave the man told the rest of the survivors to help him. The man then stepped outside, knowing his fate, Arceus had come for him. Arceus descended upon the site of all the destruction and death. He spoke to the man ‘You have misused the power I have bestowed upon you. Face your Judgment.’ A great column of light crashed down upon the man and he was gone. The child had awoken and saw this happen. He cried for his father and mother but the survivors could only explain to him what happened.” Everyone in the room except Gary, Goliath, and Seth are in tears. “The leader swore he would recompense by raising the boy. However, the boy disappeared the moment he turned eighteen years of age, never to be heard from again.”

“What happened to the leader of the organization?” May manages to say as she was crying.

“I’ll bet he got what was coming for him!” Max yells loudly. “He probably was hated by the whole world and was thrown in jail and executed! He deserved it!”

“He created the Order of the Legends.” Goliath solemnly states. Everyone in the room goes silent.

“He… He created the organization that you three are in?!” Ash says stunned. “But he was… so evil…”

“Indeed he was; but he changed his life with one decision.” Seth interjects. “He understood what he had done and swore to do no harm; he swore that he would never let what he caused happen again.”

“So wait… what does this have to do with Seth? Is this why he didn’t start his training at ten? I don’t get it.” Dawn asks completely confused.

“Dawn.” Seth addresses her. “Originally, I wasn’t going to become a trainer at all. In fact, people born into the Order aren’t supposed to become trainers.”

“Then why are you becoming one?”

“Seth is an exception because he is not becoming a trainer out of choice. He is becoming a trainer because he is on a very important mission.” Goliath cuts in.

“Master… I think we’ve said too much. If we explain the mission, it might accidentally reach the ears of our enemies.” Gary objects.

“Hmmm… perhaps you are correct.” Goliath responds. A scream of a child is heard from the back yard. “What?! What is going on?!” Everyone rushes out into the back yard. All the people and Pokémon have terrified looks on their faces and are grouped together. Surrounding them are about twenty men holding machine guns, wearing black uniforms with a big red “R” on the front.

“Team Rocket!” Ash yells angrily.
__________________
"Oh Captain my Captain"
  #11    
Old November 30th, 2008, 08:22 PM
Trap-Eds's Avatar
Trap-Eds
Dig a hole, dig a hole........
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Peach Creek...I wish.
Age: 20
Gender: Female
Nature: Quirky
Now this is awesome!!! Man, I completly forgot about the whole legends thing you mentioned in the beginning when I was reading that intense battle. And speaking of which, I had a hunch Goliath would be Ash's dad!! That one part when Ash proposes to Misty seemed a bit out of place, and there's some grammar errors. But other than that, this story is pretty awesome!!
__________________
"Not only do I not know what's going on, I wouldn't know what to do about it if I did."
"The reason I talk to myself is that I'm the only one whose answers I accept."
George Carlin
:cer_boogie:
  #12    
Old November 30th, 2008, 08:36 PM
Lukespade's Avatar
Lukespade
Poke'mon Author
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Wisconsin
Gender:
Nature: Relaxed
heh thnx. im glad u like it
__________________
"Oh Captain my Captain"
  #13    
Old December 3rd, 2008, 06:40 PM
Lukespade's Avatar
Lukespade
Poke'mon Author
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Wisconsin
Gender:
Nature: Relaxed
“If it isn’t the new champion… how are you today?” A blonde haired girl wearing a pink beret, long white socks and a team rocket uniform moves forth from the blockade of Rocket members.

“Domino…” Ash says seriously and in contempt. “It’s been a long time.” Domino chuckles and pulls a black tulip from her sleeve.

“It seems you are having quite a party here… sorry we had to crash it but we are looking for something.” Domino smirks. “… and we aren’t leaving until we get what we came for!”

“What ever you’re after you can forget it!” Ash yells angrily. “Pikachu!” Pikachu hops to the ground from Ash’s shoulder and tenses up. “Thunder…”

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you…” Domino teasingly says as she waves her finger at Ash. “Look at your situation here.” Ash starts to look around and a grim expression appears on his face. “That’s right. You’re surrounded. If you resist we’ll kill everyone.” Domino smiles an evil smile.

“Why you!” Ash mutters angrily.

“Ash stop!” Misty moves over to Ash and whispers to him. “We can’t do anything right now.”

“She’s right… you can’t do anything at all.” Domino smirks. “Seize them!” The Team Rocket members swarm around the crowd of people and Pokémon; they command everyone to sit down in a group. “Alright now…” Domino points at two of her underlings. “You two; go find the data we are looking for!” The two grunts run into the laboratory. Gary, Seth, and Goliath’s face become pale.

“Master… you don’t think they mean…” Gary says like the wind had been knocked out of him.

“I have a bad feeling about this.” Goliath responds. “We’ve got to stop them somehow.”

“Stop them from what? What are they looking for?” Tracey whispers to Seth.

“If they are looking for what we think they are… they may find everything out about…” Seth doesn’t finish his sentence. Seth turns to Goliath. “What should we do Master?”

“Right now… wait.” Seth and Gary nod.

The Team Rocket members continue to hold them hostage for several more hours. All this time, the grunts sent to retrieve the piece of data have been looking frantically. Their leader, Domino, is getting testy and impatient. By the time she finally gets fed up with waiting, the sun has fallen and darkness floods the field.

“Where are those morons?” Domino yells angrily putting her hands on her hips with a pouting look on her face. “How hard can it be to find one piece of information?” Suddenly, the doors to the lab open and the two grunts come running out; they reach Domino and she starts to yell. “What took you guys so long? How the hell are we supposed to perform an operation with idiots like you taking for ever to do a simple task?”

“B… But ma’am! The data was protected by a multitude of passwords and security devices!” One of the grunts says with fear in his voice and on his face.

“Do you think I give a damn? Now… get the truck and let’s get out of here… Or do I need to teach you how to turn it on?”

“N…No ma’am.” The two grunts run off towards the slope of the hill.

“We’ve got to do something!” Gary whispers frantically. “They’ve got it!”

“Right.” Goliath responds. “Everyone… I need your attention quick.” Ash and the others all turn their ear towards Goliath; they try not to look suspicious. “Ash, can your Pikachu use Flash?” Ash nods. “Alright, everyone will close their eyes for the moment of the flash then we will quickly release our Pokémon and take out the guards.” Everyone nods and shuts their eyes.

“Pikachu, Flash.” Ash whispers to his Pokémon. Pikachu tenses up and releases a massive light from its cheeks; the people, Pokémon, and Team Rocket members all shield their eyes and groan in pain.

“Now!” Goliath yells; he, May, Misty, Dawn, Gary, Brock, Tracey, and Max throw their Pokéballs into the air. A Blaziken, Steelix, Wobbuffet, Marshstomp, Azumarill, Starmie, Blastoise, and Empoleon appear in flashes of bright white light.

“Pikachu, let’s do this!” Ash yells and hops up. “Thunderbolt!”

“Blaze Kick!” May screams.

“Bubblebeam!” Dawn yells.

“Hydropump!” Tracey yells.

“Ice Beam!” Gary yells.

“Mud Shot!” Max screams.

“Rock Throw!” Brock yells. The Team Rocket members come to and immediately **** their guns and aim them towards the crowd.

“Wobbuffet, Counter!” Goliath yells. Flashes from firing guns blind the people, streaks of every color blast out from the crowd because of the Pokémon attacks. There are many explosions, bullet shots, screams, and cries of pain. However, when the smoke from the commotion finally clears, only the Team Rocket members are down. “Looks like Counter worked. Seth, get that data!” Seth jumps out of the crowd and rushes in the direction of the grunts.

“Oh no you don’t!” Domino says as she jumps in the way of Seth. She takes two Pokéballs from her belt and throws them in the air. A Crobat and Raticate appear in flashes of light.

“Alright then… looks like this’ll be our first battle outside of our home town buddy!” Seth grabs a Pokéball from his belt. “Come on out, Absol!” In a flash of light, an Absol appears in front of Seth. “This might not be a fair fight but I’ll bet we can handle it!”

“Oh it’ll be fair! I’ll help you out!” Dawn yells confidently as she runs up from behind him; she smiles at Seth and Seth nods. “Alright, Empoleon Ice Beam on Crobat!”

“Absol, use Razorwind on Raticate!” Seth yells. Empoleon opens its mouth and a small light blue orb appears; three bolts of light blue light fly out of the orb towards Crobat. Crobat is hit and one of its wings freezes at the tip. Absol hurls the scythe on its head towards the Raticate; a rush of white luminescent wind rushes out from the scythe and hits Raticate hard.

“Little brats… Raticate use Hyperfang on Absol. Crobat, use Supersonic!” Domino yells angrily. Raticate lunges towards Absol and opens its mouth wide. Absol jumps out of the way of Raticate as it clamps its teeth hard. Crobat lets out an ear piercing screech causing Absol and Empoleon to wince at the sound.

“Absol, use Hyper Beam on Crobat!” Seth screams while clutching his ears. Absol opens its mouth and a large yellow beam streaks towards Crobat. Crobat tries to get away but cannot because of the ice on its wing making it move to slow. Crobat is hit directly in the face and is knocked backwards on to the ground, completely unconscious.

“Empoleon, use Body Slam on Raticate.” Dawn yells. Empoleon jumps in the air above Raticate and slams down on Raticate. Empoleon gets up and is completely unconscious.

“Yeah! Nice job Absol!” Seth yells excitedly.

“You too Empoleon!” Dawn screeches happily. Seth and Dawn look in each other’s direction and smile.

“Not so fast you stupid *******s.” Domino angrily grits her teeth. She is holding a hand gun and pointing it in Seth’s direction. “Don’t move, or I’ll kill you right here.” Seth and Dawn freeze. Absol and Empoleon tense up but are completely motionless. “I will not fail. Team Rocket, get your asses moving and stop the hostages!” The rest of the Team Rocket members grab their guns and snap out of their surprise; they hold the guns up to everyone. “Now… I think I’ll kill one of you just for fun.” Domino says starting to laugh maniacally. She moves over in between the crowd and the group of battling Pokémon. “How about you?” She points the gun at Gary’s head. Gary does not move and his expression of focus does not change. “What? No response? No cry for help?”

“Stop this!” Ash blurts out. Domino turns to him.

“Ahhh… I see. You want to protect your friends.” She laughs. “That is so heroic.” She says teasingly. “Maybe I’ll just kill you.” She points the gun at Ash from a few meters away and begins to slowly pull the trigger. Ash’s face starts to turn into a horrified expression.

“No!” Gary yells as he jumps in front of Ash…

The sound of the gun shot echoes through out the entire area in the dead of night.
__________________
"Oh Captain my Captain"
  #14    
Old December 7th, 2008, 10:45 AM
Lukespade's Avatar
Lukespade
Poke'mon Author
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Wisconsin
Gender:
Nature: Relaxed
The area is silent; the crowd stares with blank expressions of horror towards Gary. His pupils dilate and the sheet white lab coat he is wearing turns blood red in a large spot on his front abdomen. Gary stares blankly at Domino and falls straight forward on his face. Ash looks down at Gary with a shocked look on his face.

“What a foolish and impudent boy!” Domino says as she starts to laugh. “I guess he wanted to play the hero.” She smirks down at Gary and kicks dirt onto his lab coat.

Ash clenches his fists and tears start to riddle his face. Misty puts her hands over her face and begins to sob, Brock and Tracey look down clenching there teeth trying to contain them selves, Max begins to cry and hugs May tightly as she begins to cry as well, Dawn buries her face into Seth’s chest as she starts to sob profusely, Mrs. Ketchum gasps and puts her hand over her mouth in horror, and Goliath looks down in regret. The sounds of sobbing and sniveling can be heard through out the rest of the crowd. Even some of the Team Rocket members look down in shame.

“Awwww… are you all sad?” Domino teases the group. “Don’t worry… you’ll all be joining him soon.” Domino ruthlessly screams. “Kill them all now!” The Team Rocket members jump at the command and frantically begin to aim their guns at the people, however they do not fire immediately. “What are you doing? Kill them!”

“Not so fast…” an echoing and deep voice radiates through the crowd. The guns rise up into the air from the hands of the Team Rocket members and compress into small balls of metal; they blast away as if fired from an invisible cannon into the air. “You have caused much pain today… this will stop.” Everyone looks around in every direction for the source of the voice.

“Up there!” someone from the crowd yells. Everyone looks on top of the roof. A cloaked figure stands motionless on the roof; no detail can be made out of the figure because the sun is directly behind it blinding the viewers.

“You must leave this place… or I will make you leave.” The emotionless voice radiates.

“Who do you think you are?!” Domino angrily replies. “Fight it with the Pokémon!” The Team Rocket members start throwing Pokéballs and a variety of different Pokémon appear. However, each one is immediately subdued in the same way that the guns were relinquished from Team Rockets hands.

“That… that’s a Psychic attack…” Ash says in a surprised voice.

“And a powerful one at that…” Brock replies.

“It is time that you left.” The voice radiates again. All the members of Team Rocket rise into the air and are sent soaring; in the distance, a truck rises from the ground and is also sent soaring, but a small object floats from the truck to Goliath’s hands. The figure rises into the air and floats down from the roof. It lands next to Gary, who is motionless on the ground. “He needs immediate medical attention.”

“I’ll call 911!” someone form the crowd screams as the man runs to the lab.

“Can you help him old friend?” Goliath asks as he walks over to the cloaked figure.

“The wound is deep; we shouldn’t move him. I may be able to stop some of the bleeding with my Psychic abilities but…” the cloaked figure lowers its head.

“Please!” Ash begs the cloaked figure. “There has got to be a way to save him.”

“Ashy… boy…” Gary barely is able to speak. Ash looks down at Gary in shock. “Don’t worry about me… I did what I did for the sake of this world… I’m proud to die this way.”

“No! You can’t die!”

“Please Ash, I just ask of you one more thing.” Gary starts moving.

“You shouldn’t move!” the voice radiates again.

“Both you and I know I am not going to survive this.” Gary responds. “I just want to see my grandfather’s grave once more.” Tears riddle Ash’s face but he still helps his friend up.

“Then you will.” Ash says quietly. He hoists Gary up and helps him walk into the forest behind the laboratory. The rest of them stay back.

* * * *
Gary and Ash stare at the headstone on the edge of the cliff.

“Here lies Professor Samuel Oak.”
“Ash, I would like to be buried right next to my grandfather.” Gary says barely able to breathe. The front of his lab coat is completely red. “Also Ash, I wanted to tell you something… I know that when we were younger, it seemed like I never respected you. All those years it was just a lie. In fact… the only reason I continued to train was because the thought of beating you kept flashing through my head… And now look… Well… to say the least I am proud to have been able to know you.”

“Gary… You are going to be all right! The ambulance will be here, they’ll help you!” Ash says desperately.

“We both know that isn’t true.” Gary responds with a sound of acceptance in his voice. “Life is about to change dramatically for you Ash. I know you can handle it though; if any one can, it’s you.” Gary’s grip on Ash’s shoulder loosens and he falls to the ground. Ash bends down and tears drip onto Gary’s body. The sounds of sirens radiate through the air as a number of different people run towards Ash and Gary. EMT’s immediately begin attempting to resuscitate him; however Ash thinks to himself At least… He died in peace.

Over the next week, a funeral is held for Gary and a memorial time is set up. In this time, the group gets to know Seth quite well; especially Dawn and Max.
The sun is rising as Seth walks out of the laboratory front door. Goliath is standing on the porch, looking at the sunrise.

“So Master, are you heading back to the Sevant region?” Seth asks as he walks up beside him.

“Yes. The council and I have to discuss many things now that it is possible that Team Rocket knows of the Order.” He responds. “You have a new mission as well.”

“A new mission?” Seth asks confused.

“Gary was sent to the Kanto region to collect the data that Professor Oak left behind on… the Scourge.” Goliath says calmly. “However, now that he has passed we are passing the mission to you. This will require you to do much more than originally decided. You must still travel to the dwelling places of each of the Legendaries and insure their safety; but also you must now collect all of the data that Professor Oak left behind.”

“So how do I do that?” Seth asks.

“Part of the data is in each of the four major regions. However, there is a different task for each of the regions to get the data.” Goliath explains. “We already have the data from Kanto. Now you must travel to Johto and get into the Hall of Fame. There you will receive that data. To do this, you must challenge each Gym leader and receive their badges. Then, instead of participating in the Silver Conference, you must defeat the Johto Elite Four. When you complete that, I will give you your new orders to obtain the next piece of data.”

“Understood.” Seth replies respectively. Dawn and Max walk up the hill towards Seth. “Master… I have a request.” Goliath raises his eyebrow. “I’ve become very good friends with Dawn and Max… May I… travel with them?” Goliath is silent for a moment.

“You must remember who you are.” Seth smiles as he says this.

“Thank you.” Seth bows to Goliath. “…and tell Mewtwo I thank him for rescuing us.”
__________________
"Oh Captain my Captain"
  #15    
Old December 9th, 2008, 02:05 PM
Lukespade's Avatar
Lukespade
Poke'mon Author
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Wisconsin
Gender:
Nature: Relaxed
The sound of a boats horn fills the air. No sun can be seen on this cloudy day and it seems as if a storm is coming.

“Look! That must be our boat!” Max yells excitedly. “Hurry guys!” Max, Dawn, and Seth run towards the port. A man in a sailor suit is standing next to the bridge that connects to the massive ferry boat.

“Can I help you three?” the man asks politely.

“Yeah, we’re all on the boat to the Johto region; is this it?” Seth asks.

“Yes it is; please enjoy your trip.” The man unhinges the rope that blocked the way onto the boat. “Please have your tickets ready.”

“Thanks a lot.” Seth, Max, and Dawn hustle onto the boat. They pass another man in a sailor suit; they each flash their ticket and he nods.

The ship is nearly vacant. It is just them, the crew, and a few other people traveling to Johto region. Dawn, Max, and Seth find the guest quarters and sit down in their room; Seth sits on the floor, Max sits on his bed, and Dawn lies down on her bed and turns away from the rest of them.

“Dawn, are you feeling alright?” Seth asks calmly but still with concern.

“Yeah…” Dawn softly replies. Max and Seth look at each other; Max bows his head.

“You’re still sad about Gary aren’t you?” Seth asks knowing the answer. Dawn buries her face in the pillow, not caring that it messes up her hair. Seth stands up and walks over to her bed. “We know…” Seth sits next to her on the bed and pats her on the back.

“So where are we off to next?” Max asks perkily hoping to change the subject.

“Oh yeah, that reminds me! I want to thank you guys for coming to the Johto region with me. I know you guys had other plans.” Seth says in his carefree voice.

“Hey no problem, I wasn’t even sure where I was going next anyways. I’ve never been to the Johto region so it’s worth it for me!” Max replies happily. Dawn still doesn’t move.

“Well anyways, our boat docks at New Bark town. I think after that we should head to Cherrygrove City for the Pokémon contest there.” Seth hopes Dawn will react to this comment but he has no such luck. “And after that there is a gym battle in Violet City that I need to win.”

“Sounds good, I can’t wait to see all the new Pokémon in the Johto region!” Max beams like a little kid who just ate a piece of candy. The bell rings from outside the cabin. “It’s time for dinner! I’m starving!” Max streaks out the door.

“Why don’t you come eat with us Dawn?” Seth asks hopefully.

“No thanks… I’m not hungry.” She says softly and sadly. Seth frowns and looks down.

“Well ok… don’t worry I’ll bring you something back.” Seth replies with a little bit of disappointment in his voice.

Max and Seth make their way to a big cafeteria with four long strips of buffet food and tables. The place is almost empty. They sit down after collecting their food and begin to eat. Max eats a little too much and gets a stomach ache; Seth hardly touches his food.

“I’m going to go and lie down.” Max is barely able to say he’s so full.

“If you are going to throw up do so off the edge of the boat please.” Seth replies with almost no interest; he simply continues to stare at his food. Max shrugs and walks out of the cafeteria.

After a few more minutes, Seth leaves the cafeteria, after collecting a plate of food for Dawn, and walks over to the commons area. He moves into the lobby and sits down at one of the video phones. He types in a number and Brock’s face appears on the screen.

“Seth? How is it going? Where are you at now?” Brock happily answers the phone.

“I’m on the boat that goes to the Johto region.” Seth replies with a troubled voice.

“Johto… I remember when I traveled there with Ash and Misty. Anyways, how is it going? You don’t look so good.”

“Well… you see… I’m traveling with Max and Dawn.”

“Really? That’s great! How are they doing?”

“Oh, Max is great! He’s really excited about the journey but… Dawn isn’t doing to well.”

“Let me guess; she is depressed about Gary.” Brock says solemnly but honestly.

“Yeah, how’d you guess?”

“Dawn has always been… easily depressed if you will. It’s no wonder she got so depressed over this.”

“Yeah, I mean, I’m depressed to. Gary was a good friend of mine.”

“We all are… he was a god friend.”

“I’m sorry to have gotten off track. I called because I’m worried about Dawn; she won’t even speak. I figured that you might know what to do because you traveled with her for so long.”

“I see now, you want to help her.” Brock laughs. “You two remind of a couple of friends of mine.”

“Who?”

“I’ll let you wonder. Anyways, if you really want to help her you should call her mom and get Dawn to talk to her.”

“Call her mom?” Seth looks completely confused.

“Trust me, you’ll see.” Brock smiles. “It has been nice talking to you. Come visit sometime in the Pewter Gym.” Brock hangs up and his face disappears.

“Booo!” Max screams from right behind Seth. Seth jumps out of his chair and falls on his head onto the ground. Max laughs.

“Oww… That hurt.” Seth rubs his head and scowls at Max. “Ha ha ha very funny. You’re looking better.” Seth stands up and brushes off his jacket. “Could you do me a favor?”

“Why not?” Max says still laughing.

“Could you go get Dawn and bring her in here?” Max salutes Seth in confirmation and runs out of the room. Seth sits back down and dials another number. A woman with big round blue hair appears on the screen.

“Hello?” the woman says.

“Hi, my name is Seth Elwood. I’m currently traveling with your daughter, Dawn.” Seth replies putting on a happy face.

“Oh yes! She told me about you on the phone! It’s a pleasure to meet you.” Mrs. Shionn replies happily. “So how can I help you?”

“Well… Dawn’s not feeling so well since the funeral for Gary and Brock told me you’d be able to help.”

“Oh I see now. Ok then, bring her to me.”

“Max is getting her right now… I think…” As he says this, Max rushes into the room with Marshstomp and Empoleon.

“We just can’t do it.” Max says feeling like a failure. “I even grabbed her Pokéball and released Empoleon to help me and Marshstomp try and carry her after she wouldn’t respond to me, but when we tried to pick her up she slapped me and ran off somewhere.”

“That girl…” Mr. Shionn sighs. Seth pulls a Pokéball off of his belt and opens it; Absol appears.

“Absol, let’s go find Dawn.” Absol nods and makes a deep barking sound. Absol and Seth walk out the door.

They move about the deck looking for Dawn. Absol makes a noise and points his nose towards the bow of the boat. Dawn is leaning on the bars looking out into the distant clouds and sea.

“Hey Dawn.” Seth calmly says as he walks up behind her. “What’re you doing out here?”

“Nothing.” Dawn replies sadly.

“Your mom wants to talk to you. I’ve got her on the phone.” Seth smoothly moves up next to her. “I’ve got your dinner to.”

“Thanks, but no thanks.”

“You can’t just blow off your own mother like that! Besides, I know you’re hungry.”

“Watch me.”

“Come on Dawn! The lobby is really nice. I think they’re showing a movie! We could watch it together… all of us!”

“No; but thanks again.” Seth and Absol sigh.

“Well I guess we’ve got no other choice buddy. Absol, let’s do it.” Absol jumps underneath Dawn and sweeps her legs with its legs. Dawn starts to fall forward but Seth catches her and hoists her over his shoulder.

“What the hell are you doing?! Let me go!” Dawn yells angrily as Seth starts to walk towards the lobby. “Damnit! Let me go!” Seth just laughs and Absol makes teasing faces at Dawn from the ground.

They walk into the lobby, Dawn still flailing, until Seth sits her down in front of her mother.

“Dawn.” Mrs. Shionn says sternly.

“Oh, hi mom.” Dawn replies in a scared and depressed voice.

“Now Dawn, I understand that what happened was tragic but you can’t let it get to you. Your friends have gone through the same as you have. They are trying to help you; if you just let yourself get completely depressed every time something happens you will never be able to succeed in life!” Max and Seth back away from the phone in fear of Mrs. Shionn’s wrath.

“I understand mom.”

“Also, you should let your feelings loose. You told me on the phone that you promised you weren’t going to cry over Gary’s death. That you wanted to respect him in life and death by staying strong, but look at yourself. Is this strength?” Mrs. Shionn softens up. “Please Dawn, don’t bottle things up.” Dawn nods and Mrs. Shionn looks at Max and Seth.

“Thank you both for your help. I know she is in good hands.”

“Don’t worry mom.” Dawn says sadly and barely able to keep the tears out. Mrs. Shionn smiles.

“When you say that is when I worry the most.” She hangs up the phone and her face disappears.

Dawn bursts into tears, sobbing profusely. Max and Seth walk over next to her. Marshstomp, Absol, and Empoleon move over to her as well with concerned looks on their faces. Seth puts his hand on her shoulder and she cries for a long time.
__________________
"Oh Captain my Captain"
  #16    
Old January 3rd, 2009, 05:29 AM
afroquackster's Avatar
afroquackster
SAY WHAT!? Deviantart!
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: in a pile of ****
Gender:
Nature: Relaxed
'BAWL'!!! WAAAH! SO SAD TOO BAD
__________________
SAVE THE PLANET!

I HATE YOU.
--
NEW PROJECT: POKEMON DAWN's GATE and POKEMON DUSK's GATE. http://www.pokecommunity.com/showthread.php?t=175050
--
EVER HEARD OF DEVIANTART?
http://afroquackster.deviantart.com/
  #17    
Old January 3rd, 2009, 07:25 AM
The Ebon Blade's Avatar
The Ebon Blade
The Fuzz...
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Wisconsin
Age: 23
Gender:
Nature: Relaxed
Quote:
Originally Posted by afroquackster View Post
'BAWL'!!! WAAAH! SO SAD TOO BAD

wah? what do u mean by this... maybe the scene of depression by dawn? Hmmm... is this story stilll being written or somtin?
__________________
Pokemon Special Rocks!

Check out my FanFiction:

Mission: Find the Source of the Madness!












  #18    
Old June 26th, 2009, 10:51 AM
pokefan x
Beginning Trainer
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Gender: Male
is this episode or whatever it is gonna be realy aired if yes can you pls tell me when ty and this question is to every body again pls tell me
  #19    
Old June 28th, 2009, 06:17 AM
bgt's Avatar
bgt
R A W R
 
Join Date: May 2004
Age: 6
Nature: Gentle
Seriously, at least if your going to revive a thread. Make it legible.

__________________

| Theme by Lines that are parallel
Closed Thread
Quick Reply

Sponsored Links
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Minimum Characters Per Post: 25



All times are UTC -8. The time now is 06:59 AM.


Style by Nymphadora, artwork by Sa-Dui.
Like our Facebook Page Follow us on Twitter © 2002 - 2014 The PokéCommunity™, pokecommunity.com.
Pokémon characters and images belong to The Pokémon Company International and Nintendo. This website is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Nintendo, Creatures, GAMEFREAK, The Pokémon Company or The Pokémon Company International. We just love Pokémon.
All forum styles, their images (unless noted otherwise) and site designs are © 2002 - 2014 The PokéCommunity / PokéCommunity.com.
PokéCommunity™ is a trademark of The PokéCommunity. All rights reserved. Sponsor advertisements do not imply our endorsement of that product or service. User generated content remains the property of its creator.