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Poetry Post your poetry here and comment on others.



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  #1  
Unread September 20th, 2004, 04:16 AM
Finglonger's Avatar
Finglonger
Leper messiah
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
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lol well heres another piece that will probably never get a response but eh whatcha gonna do? this is one Ive been sitting on for a while. I looked at it and realized how bad it actually was(not one of my best pieces lol) so I did a little editing, but I just can't seem to get it down. anyhow any help that anyone can offer would be greatly appreciated. = )

Icarian dreams

Oh to soar unbounded,
beyond the problems of this earth
on waxen wings...
to reach the heavens; to touch the sun;
survive to soar again,

in slumber, blankets sheathed
from distant midnight skies
set my lofty ambitions,
against laws of logic;

And the glare, the rusts
that held me fast, give way
to flights of fancy...

a proud indignation,
glory days,
waft away.

prosperity, wealth all but an illusion
fading as spirits do;
no reconciliation,
no requiem sung for the beloved.

Now boast of pridefulness;
sins of the hypocrisy do not condemn.
as you may fly to the sun,
and nary a wing will burn

rest
rest has come at last
and what was dreamt
now dreams.
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Last edited by Finglonger; September 24th, 2004 at 12:33 AM.
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  #2  
Unread September 22nd, 2004, 09:55 PM
Pikawolf
Trainer
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Wow!! That was beautiful! It really encased me in a web of enchantment. I adore it! 10/10

~Kelsey
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  #3  
Unread September 23rd, 2004, 01:56 AM
Sumomo & Kotoko
Donator Tier 3
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Its one of the best I'ev seen on here,lol.....10/10
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  #4  
Unread September 23rd, 2004, 03:22 AM
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Emerald_Ursaring
Formerly Da_Green_Teddy
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Age: 21
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Nature: Adamant
*Jaw drops* That was, like, THE best poem I've ever seen! Great Job! 10/10!!
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  #5  
Unread September 23rd, 2004, 04:14 AM
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Finglonger
Leper messiah
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
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*blushes* wow thanks guys, but I still see that it needs a lot of work. This one is on my mind right now along with maybe another one that I'm in the middle of revising, so if I ever produce anything worthwhile in terms of improvements I'll post them here. = )
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"We must carry war into every corner the enemy happens to carry it, to his home, to his centers of entertainment:a total war. It is neccesary to prevent him from having a moment of peace, a quiet moment outside his barracks or even inside; we must attack him wherever he may be, make him feel like a cornered beast wherever he may move. then his moral fiber shall begin to decline, but we shall notice how signs of decadence begin to disappear."- Che Guevara

"shoot, coward, you are only going to kill a man"-Ernesto "Che" Guevara
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  #6  
Unread September 23rd, 2004, 09:18 PM
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eevee_evolutions
Elemental Master
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
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Age: 22
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I give it 10/10 as well!That is really deep and I LUV it!*claps for Finglonger*
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