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  #1    
Old May 18th, 2009 (12:17 PM). Edited May 20th, 2009 by notbob.
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Pokemon Dark Shadow Version
READ THIS: This is a revamp off of my failed hack: Pokemon Carnelian. It has the same region, same world map, it is not a new or different region.
Hack of: Leaf Green
Story:
Spoiler:

You are a kid living in the region of Kansai in a remote village called Windton. You woke up and rushed to Professor Redwood's lab only to see that the lab is Police lined off, and all the Pokemon are missing. Redwood says that his Pokemon have been stolen and tells you to go find him. You find him and ask him for the Pokemon back. He gives you one and tells you to scram. You stay where you are. He becomes impatient and sends out one of the Pokemon. You then battle. Afterwords, he throws the poke balls on the ground and calls the Pokemon worthless and says that he's going after a much better one, you don't know what yet. You return the Pokemon to Redwood. He gives you 5 poke balls and the pokedex, and you head off to achieve your dream of competing in the grand tournament (which you can only enter in if you beat the other 9 tournaments). On your way to the last tournament, you see that there is a shrine in the forest. You go in and see the guy who stole the poke balls, he knocks off a jewel on the statue. You feel the ground shake heavily then you become unconscious. You wake up and the shrine is falling apart. You run outside and see a strange, new legendary Pokemon. Now it's your turn to catch it!

Pictures:
Spoiler:



New Legendary:
Spoiler:

Graphical improvements:
Gloomy graphics for that dark feeling.
Videos:
None yet.

Banners:
Made by ageangel:

Code:
[img]http://img42.imageshack.us/img42/1400/noptob.jpg[/img]
Made By Me:

Code:
http://img194.imageshack.us/img194/8587/pokemondarkshadow.png

Code:
http://img195.imageshack.us/img195/8587/pokemondarkshadow.png
Things/ People Needed:
  • Scripter
  • Pokemon inserter/spriter/maker
  • Ideas
  • Beta Tester
  • World Mapper
  • Tile/ Palate Editor
  • Overworld Editor/Maker
  • Spriter
  • Title screen editor
  • Text editor
Development team:
Me - Mapper, Palate Editor, Title Screen Changer, Text Editor, Tile Editor

PM me if you want to join!!
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  #2    
Old May 18th, 2009 (12:21 PM).
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The Fakemon coud use a little work (like Body proportioning, and Shading). Who created it? The map is too much like Viridian Forest, and that was fairly unnatural, and the tiles aren't the greatest in the Worl, due to the green mountains.

Region Map looks a bit too clustered. try making it bigger with more routes (and longer ones!)

Good luck!
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  #3    
Old May 18th, 2009 (12:28 PM).
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Marxville - that map IS viridian forest, all he has changes is paint-like green thing for the trees.

The world map looks a bit weird, it has a ton of empty space to the left hand side and the shape is rather... Odd.

The story doesn't actually make sense, you missed out a line saying someone stole the Pokemon (aka. Him I think?)
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  #4    
Old May 18th, 2009 (12:29 PM).
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Quote:
The Fakemon could use a little work (like Body proportioning, and Shading). Who created it?
I made it
Quote:
The map is too much like Viridian Forest, and that was fairly unnatural, and the tiles aren't the greatest in the World, due to the green mountains.
That's because I am not done with it, they aren't green mountains. They are mountains covered with leaves and other plants, plus I kinda fixed it up, so the inward corners don't have that green line.
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  #5    
Old May 18th, 2009 (12:31 PM).
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Everything looks a bit too like the original(That looks like a celebi sprite)
But with some work i'm sure you could make it happen.
Looks like a good hack though.
Good luck :D
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  #6    
Old May 18th, 2009 (12:31 PM). Edited May 19th, 2009 by destinedjagold.
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Quote originally posted by SwiftSign:
The story doesn't actually make sense, you missed out a line saying someone stole the Pokemon (aka. Him I think?)
Yeah, I forgot to mention that.

I also NEED someone to either give me a new world map or put on in themselves. I forgot to mention that I need someone to put in music, because my computer doesn't want to load Sappy.

Quote originally posted by cheesymitten:
Everything looks a bit too like the original(That looks like a celebi sprite)
But with some work i'm sure you could make it happen.
Looks like a good hack though.
Good luck :D
That's because it's its evolved form.

Can someone give me their opinions already?

I'm working on new scripts currently...
This one doesn't seem to compile right:
#dynamic 0x720ACE

#org @start
lock
faceplayer
msgbox @yesno 0x5
if 0x1 goto @yes
if 0x0 goto @no
release
end

#org @yesno
=Would you like a berry?

#org @yes
giveitem 0x87 0x01
msgbox @yay
release
end

#org @no
msgbox @sorry
boxset 0x6
end

#org @yay
=Thank you.

#org @sorry
=Well, that sucks.
It's supposed to give you a berry for if your Pokemon is poisoned, a Pomeg berry.

The banner's in guys!! Thanks Ageangel!
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  #7    
Old May 19th, 2009 (07:31 PM).
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This is quite bad, First your story needs a little fixing, The celebi evo doesn't look right at all i recommend hiring a spriter, Another thing about the celebi sprite it's green for the front and red for the back what? The map isn't orignal i recommend reading a tut on how to design one. The only thing i even see good about this hack is the banner ageagel made. But i could be wrong (I don't think i am) but i could be. Maybe your prove me wrong and when hack of the week,
Spoiler:
if you can even get a alpha out
I'm a little harsh because i think your hack can go far, Never let these things upset you just take them and improve.


~Dmartin
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  #8    
Old May 19th, 2009 (08:03 PM).
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Quote originally posted by pokemon xd:
This is quite bad, First your story needs a little fixing
How so? I think it's pretty good.

Quote originally posted by pokemon xd:
The celebi evo doesn't look right at all i recommend hiring a spriter
Can you do a better sprite?

Quote originally posted by pokemon xd:
The map isn't orignal i recommend reading a tut on how to design one.
Wow... just wow.

Quote originally posted by pokemon xd:
Another thing about the celebi sprite it's green for the front and red for the back what?
It's for spriting, idiot. The back is the shiny, and the front is the normal.

Quote originally posted by pokemon xd:
I'm a little harsh
Little?!?!

Is this a little harsh?
Quote originally posted by pokemon xd:
if you can even get a alpha out
Point proven. Oh yeah, almost forgot to give ageangel for his awesome banner. Give him credit and a cookie.
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  #9    
Old May 19th, 2009 (11:09 PM).
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Wowy there.Aren't you a little rude?
Quote:
It's for spriting, idiot. The back is the shiny, and the front is the normal.
I understand that they're harsh,and they didn't point out things with the right way.
But they are right with what they are saying.Really,do you think the celebi evo sprite will be smashing? :\
You need to work more on the story.
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  #10    
Old May 19th, 2009 (11:14 PM).
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I Really dont like the Fakemon Legendary
It's Fat >3 Could you make it a little
more Cuter? Well Nice Work *giggles*

-Yasumin >3
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  #11    
Old May 20th, 2009 (03:53 AM). Edited May 20th, 2009 by notbob.
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Quote originally posted by Yasumin:
I Really dont like the Fakemon Legendary
It's Fat >3 Could you make it a little
more Cuter? Well Nice Work *giggles*

-Yasumin >3
Well, it's meant to be muscular, as it is part fighting type.

Quote originally posted by Ray Maverick:
Wowy there.Aren't you a little rude?

I understand that they're harsh,and they didn't point out things with the right way.
But they are right with what they are saying.Really,do you think the celebi evo sprite will be smashing? :\
You need to work more on the story.
Why does the story need work and what is wrong with my sprite?
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  #12    
Old May 20th, 2009 (04:33 AM).
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What is wrong with your sprite?Its too fat,and it looks like alien. :\
No cute,as Yasumin said before.

The story....lets say its not exciting.
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  #13    
Old May 20th, 2009 (05:11 AM).
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I'm no spriter, but this is what is wrong:
-Scratchy black lines
-Missing any signs of a mouth
-Its head is profile rather than just looking slightly left
-Its arms look like fins
-Its feet... look like random boxes you rushed in.
-Its colouring is identical to Celebi's, and yet still looks uterly wrong (except the blue bits, which are wrongly places anyway)
Suggest: Getting a spriter, searching for Celebi evolutions that have been previously made and asking the spriter if you can use it.


Whats wrong with the story?
-You STILL havent added in the line I told you was missing, so it doesn't make sense.
-The story doesn't actually kick in until the final tournament, which I am going to assume is far into the game. Don't you think thats a bit boring?
Suggest: Fix the above.

Whats wrong with the maps?
-Far too much long grass
-The colour pallette just looks wrong, like how bright the grass is compared to the trees.
-Fence has random gaps and so serves little purpose except to fill in space.
-I see no bushes, and I like bushes.
Suggest: Don't feel the need to make large maps, make them small if you want. On large maps make a defined path that twists around and make sure its not so repetitive.
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  #14    
Old May 20th, 2009 (05:18 AM).
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Yeah I Wish Someone would edit it? and the Story could you make it a little bit
Adventurous? xD *thinking seriously* No Offense huh okies?
Good luck on it. and also you said it's muscular right? it's look like not >3
You should make it a little cuter or scarier rightie? hihi Just some guss =3
*winks*

-Yasumin >3 Your Sweet Friend
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Old May 20th, 2009 (02:00 PM).
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Quote originally posted by SwiftSign:


I'm no spriter, but this is what is wrong:
-Scratchy black lines
-Missing any signs of a mouth
-Its head is profile rather than just looking slightly left
-Its arms look like fins
-Its feet... look like random boxes you rushed in.
-Its colouring is identical to Celebi's, and yet still looks uterly wrong (except the blue bits, which are wrongly places anyway)
Suggest: Getting a spriter, searching for Celebi evolutions that have been previously made and asking the spriter if you can use it.


Whats wrong with the story?
-You STILL havent added in the line I told you was missing, so it doesn't make sense.
-The story doesn't actually kick in until the final tournament, which I am going to assume is far into the game. Don't you think thats a bit boring?
Suggest: Fix the above.

Whats wrong with the maps?
-Far too much long grass
-The colour pallette just looks wrong, like how bright the grass is compared to the trees.
-Fence has random gaps and so serves little purpose except to fill in space.
-I see no bushes, and I like bushes.
Suggest: Don't feel the need to make large maps, make them small if you want. On large maps make a defined path that twists around and make sure its not so repetitive.
The Map and story is fixed, the sprite is improved.
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  #16    
Old May 20th, 2009 (02:26 PM).
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Did you put the new sprite up? I suggest looking at Chesu's tutorials in the pixel art section and using them to create your legendary. I'm not trying to sound rude but it isn't that good. It still has the problems others have pointed out and looks flat. So I think you should redo it completely and use the tutorials.
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Old May 20th, 2009 (03:01 PM).
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Here's the new sprite.
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  #18    
Old May 22nd, 2009 (09:46 AM).
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Quote originally posted by notbob:
Here's the new sprite.
...I think you need a spriter...on normal occasions, I would be nice and say "it could use some work" or "it's not that great", but in this case, I'm going to say it is very bad, I'm sorry, but there's no nice way to say it.
Why does Celebi have an evolved form anyway, and why is it a fighting type? There's no reason Celebi would evolve, and give a reason that it's a fighting type.
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Old May 22nd, 2009 (09:58 AM).
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Quote originally posted by machomuu:
...I think you need a spriter...on normal occasions, I would be nice and say "it could use some work" or "it's not that great", but in this case, I'm going to say it is very bad, I'm sorry, but there's no nice way to say it.
Why does Celebi have an evolved form anyway, and why is it a fighting type? There's no reason Celebi would evolve, and give a reason that it's a fighting type.
Well, first off, I think it would be nice if Celebi evolved to be an extremely strong Pokemon. Second off, since it's fighting type, it will have powerful attacks based on using its strength. Lastly, it would be nice to have a spriter, would you like to be one?
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  #20    
Old May 22nd, 2009 (10:12 AM).
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What might be an idea is to study poses of various pokemon, and do slight edits of those. To give yourself alittle more skill in positioning, angle and so forth for your Celebii evolution.
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  #21    
Old May 22nd, 2009 (10:14 AM).
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Quote originally posted by PaulH:
What might be an idea is to study poses of various pokemon, and do slight edits of those. To give yourself alittle more skill in positioning, angle and so forth for your Celebii evolution.
Nah, I'd rather hire a spriter.
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  #22    
Old May 22nd, 2009 (02:06 PM).
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Quote originally posted by notbob:
Well, first off, I think it would be nice if Celebi evolved to be an extremely strong Pokemon. Second off, since it's fighting type, it will have powerful attacks based on using its strength. Lastly, it would be nice to have a spriter, would you like to be one?

I don't think machomuu is much of spriter. Neither am I, I can take something and kind of edit from there.
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  #23    
Old May 23rd, 2009 (11:06 AM).
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Does anybody wanna sprite for me?
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  #24    
Old May 23rd, 2009 (12:30 PM).
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To be honest, you're asking people for help, and their honest opinions about your work, and yet when they give it to you, you throw it back in their faces. There is no nice way about it, the celebi evo looks fat, and you do need a spriter, and before you say it, no, I don't sprite, I compose, that's my area. If you want help, maybe try taking constructive critisisms mate, otherwise you're getting nowhere here.
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Old May 23rd, 2009 (01:41 PM).
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Quote originally posted by Druyii:
To be honest, you're asking people for help, and their honest opinions about your work, and yet when they give it to you, you throw it back in their faces. There is no nice way about it, the celebi evo looks fat, and you do need a spriter, and before you say it, no, I don't sprite, I compose, that's my area. If you want help, maybe try taking constructive critisisms mate, otherwise you're getting nowhere here.
Noted, but I still need a good spriter.
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