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  #1    
Old July 1st, 2009, 06:55 PM
Pink Twilight's Avatar
Pink Twilight
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Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Cincinnati, Ohio
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Hell, my name is Pink Twilight and i will be announcing my story idea. plz tell me what you think about it and how i can improve it! i will be changing the names around, i might not keep the name Haven.

Brief Summary: A 14 year-old boy named Haven Yutoki takes a trip on their new boat with his parents and his only pokemon, buizel. But
all turns to a tragedy when the boat crashes into an uknown object. his parents are no were to be found and young Haven and Buizel have to survive on their own. Can they make it?

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  #2    
Old July 1st, 2009, 07:03 PM
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Feign
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It can be a good story, as long as you avoid the redundancy that are "lost" stories. That is, person gets lost, person looses hope, person gets aid, person fights conflict, and happy ending.

Perhaps you can include some differences, like perhaps they had crashed on purpose (not the parents, but the boat itself). Don't just place importance on your character, that would also get boring after awhile. Perhaps the object they crash into isn't really an object, and comes into play later.

Just be as bendable as possible with these kinds of stories. However if you'd like to stick with your original idea, it would be best then if it were a psychological type of thriller, and you'd have to convey the main character's feelings to the reader, to portray the reality of the situation.

Happy ideaing ;D
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Old July 2nd, 2009, 05:31 AM
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Pink Twilight
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Hey thanks for the advise! your help was appreciated!
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  #4    
Old July 6th, 2009, 12:24 PM
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Giratina ♀
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Join Date: Apr 2008
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Another tip: if Haven (note: try thinking up a name instead of using a noun like that) was alone with Buizel on the island and does ever end up getting back to civilization, maybe use that sepeartion from other people to highlight just how far he had strayed from humanity itself. For example, if he's being interrogated by the police or something, make everyone else hear his talking as slurred and difficult to comprehend, from not hearing anyone else's voice for so long.

...I've got no idea where that came from. It's an ineresting premise, but like Feign said, try to pull a twist on it. For example, he could have crash-landed into a... meteor with a Deoxys in it or something and now he has to stop Deoxys from... bringing down the moon or... something. xD Get the idea?
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